Speaker 1: I get a Champs. It's Jumbo and Tiviley Cook, the pugilist,
Speaker 1: the boxer, the woman on the front of the bloody
Speaker 1: album of the year, the shy, little, retiring, quiet, humble
Speaker 1: wallflower post thirty photos of her head a day on
Speaker 1: social media. Oh an ambo going? Can you hear that
Speaker 1: Ambo going?
Speaker 2: Pass? I know, because you've got a brilliant market microphone
Speaker 2: that doesn't capture that or hang on.
Speaker 1: Yeah you can.
Speaker 2: I might have called a bit of that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: all happening in Hampton.
Speaker 1: It's all happening in Hampton, and bloody you know.
Speaker 2: What they're out looking for that crazy bloke running in
Speaker 2: a red singlet in the rain, massive lats.
Speaker 1: He stole something that's I do. It's a picture seeing
Speaker 1: me gallop. I'm like, what are those horses called it?
Speaker 1: Is it a draft horse? Yeah? No, is that what
Speaker 1: they're called? The super big ones?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the big ones with the big hairy feet.
Speaker 1: No, there's another name. What are those huge? Let me
Speaker 1: ask the a Clydesdale. Clydesdale, I'm like a fucking human Clydesdale,
Speaker 1: just clunking around Suburbia with my big stupid my mom
Speaker 1: says my back looks like a tortoise shell. Like at
Speaker 1: I went from massage. Yeah, Lla, I went from massage
Speaker 1: in this lovely Asian lady who who was going to
Speaker 1: rub my shit? I took off my T shirt and
Speaker 1: she goes, I won't do the accent because that's terrible.
Speaker 1: But she told me in no uncertain terms that my
Speaker 1: back was too big. It's like, it's too big. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: the only one I have. I couldn't. I couldn't be
Speaker 1: smaller ones. You're going and get my economy back, She's like,
Speaker 1: and then she proceeded to get up. This was the time.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had Did I talk to you about this?
Speaker 1: The other day I'm having dajavu. Have you ever had
Speaker 1: one of those massage massages where they walk on you? No?
Speaker 2: I haven't.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. The best thing ever. So what they
Speaker 1: do is they stand up, not all but in sometime massages.
Speaker 1: Well that's my understanding and my experience. So they have
Speaker 1: like a so whatever direction the bed or the bench
Speaker 1: is running above that, they have a pole like under
Speaker 1: the roof that's running in the same direction. So they
Speaker 1: stand on you and they hold the pole. So they
Speaker 1: use the pole to kind of you know, balance and
Speaker 1: also maybe even take a little bit of weight off.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, just fucking run around up there. It's
Speaker 1: great and it's just go for a jog on my back.
Speaker 1: That shit feels great and like within reason, the harder
Speaker 1: the better. And they when they like step on your
Speaker 1: hamstrings and like all their I'm like, oh god, and.
Speaker 2: Then they step I'm good with back, but hammies and glutes.
Speaker 2: Once they get nah, that's oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Once they step on your ass, but not the middle
Speaker 1: of your ass, like the top outside of your ass,
Speaker 1: near your iliac crest.
Speaker 2: You know you're about to rip out some scientific bloody
Speaker 2: muscle groups.
Speaker 1: Well you know, you know when you look at like
Speaker 1: the Mickey mouse is of the pelvis, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. That's the that's the that's the ilium, and
Speaker 1: the tops like the iliac crest and up there, like
Speaker 1: I think it's glut mead. Oh, that shit gets tight.
Speaker 1: You could drive your fucking car back and forth on that.
Speaker 1: I'd be so happy. It's like so tight. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Elbows don't work, hands don't work. I need feet. I
Speaker 1: somebody doing some boots scooting up there?
Speaker 2: You get the crab up there, sometimes.
Speaker 1: Fuck the crab's getting there where near my bottom. Crab.
Speaker 1: The crab, the crab does not have the skills required
Speaker 1: to work on my sixty year fucking muscles. I'll give
Speaker 1: you the tip. I'll give you the tip. Yes, So
Speaker 1: we were going to chat. We weren't going to chat
Speaker 1: about massage and asses. We were going to talk about
Speaker 1: this idea of it. It is very often used term
Speaker 1: these days in self help, in personal development, in the
Speaker 1: corporate space, in health, in wellness, which is living in alignment.
Speaker 1: And I get asked a little bit about that, and
Speaker 1: I talk about that, and I'm up front going to
Speaker 1: acknowledge that, Yeah, it's kind of a wanky term. It's
Speaker 1: kind of cheesy. And I don't think there's any like
Speaker 1: a lot of ideas and constructs. I don't think there
Speaker 1: is a universally agreed upon definition that is this is
Speaker 1: the only true you know, And so I think it's
Speaker 1: open for interpretation. So with that in mind, we actually
Speaker 1: I was gonna I was going to give what are
Speaker 1: you looking at on your screen? Well, I thought, what
Speaker 1: are you looking at?
Speaker 2: What is living in a lot?
Speaker 1: Don't look at it, don't look at it. You tell
Speaker 1: me what you think it is. Look at you looking
Speaker 1: at your screen too late.
Speaker 2: I already PRESSCO. The worst thing about doing these in
Speaker 2: the evening with you. My room's a lot darker, so
Speaker 2: if I bring up Google, it shines a light on
Speaker 2: my face.
Speaker 1: I can see when you're cheating. I want you to
Speaker 1: be organic. Look at you, you're reading the screen? Stop it?
Speaker 2: Well, because well I haven't read it yet.
Speaker 1: I haven't read Yes, you have you fucking lira. I
Speaker 1: just saw your scanning your eyes.
Speaker 2: No, well, because I was trying to grasp I was
Speaker 2: trying to grasp the word, but all I was getting
Speaker 2: was just big headings and nothing with any substance. And
Speaker 2: now I've closed the window, as you can see, because
Speaker 2: the light is no longer shining on my face. Living
Speaker 2: in alignment It's a funny one because I was going
Speaker 2: to go, what do people even mean by that? Sometimes
Speaker 2: I think these terms get grabbed hold of and thrown
Speaker 2: aware around by so many different people that they we
Speaker 2: lose the essence of what the fuck it even means,
Speaker 2: even the people saying it. If someone come up to
Speaker 2: me and said, are you living in alignment? I think
Speaker 2: I just pause and go, what do you mean? What
Speaker 2: do you mean by that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Are you talking about my spine? What are you
Speaker 1: talking about? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I think
Speaker 1: and like I said, this is open to interpretation. And
Speaker 1: so what I'm going to share and what you're going
Speaker 1: to share is just two people thinking out loud. But
Speaker 1: so do you want to have a go or do
Speaker 1: you want me to bang on?
Speaker 2: I want you to bang on?
Speaker 1: Ah, So for me living a life of alignment. And
Speaker 1: this is just my interpretation. And what are you reading?
Speaker 2: Actually looking deep into your eyes, taking in every word
Speaker 2: that you're saying. I'm not reading anything.
Speaker 1: All right, Sorry, everyone, this is terrible listening so far.
Speaker 1: I'll try and do better.
Speaker 2: So full attention.
Speaker 1: Let's zoom out from the personal to the macro, from
Speaker 1: the micro to the macro, something more global, which would
Speaker 1: be a team or an organization. So really easy to
Speaker 1: understand is most companies have what they call a mission statement,
Speaker 1: which half of them are complete fucking wanky bullshit because
Speaker 1: they think they need to have something. So I'll wear
Speaker 1: a value driven company. Where a value driven organ are
Speaker 1: you or you are money? You are money driven organization?
Speaker 1: And if you are that's okay too. It's a commercial world.
Speaker 1: But if that company was living in alignment, for one
Speaker 1: of a better term, with their mission statement or their
Speaker 1: alleged values. Then you would be able to ascertain what
Speaker 1: their values care values as an organization are just by
Speaker 1: paying attention to how they operate. So, in other words,
Speaker 1: the day to day operation and interactions and systems and
Speaker 1: communication and culture, an experience of the customer that would
Speaker 1: be reflective of or in alignment with who they say
Speaker 1: they are as an organization. Right, And I don't think
Speaker 1: that's a bad thing. I think if that's real, well,
Speaker 1: that's great. And I think I think it's hard to execute,
Speaker 1: especially when you have hundreds of employees, because we all
Speaker 1: just rock up and roll up our sleeves and do
Speaker 1: our thing. We're not running out into the fucking reception
Speaker 1: area to look over Donna's shoulder or Brian's shoulder to
Speaker 1: see the mission statement behind their head, are we?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Hang on, let me just check what's point for? Oh,
Speaker 1: that's right, don't call the customer a comp thanks, I'll
Speaker 1: note that down all right back to my desk, right,
Speaker 1: So that's that's not happening. But no, to sell customer
Speaker 1: service must do better. But then on on a personal level,
Speaker 1: on a personal level, I this is what I think.
Speaker 1: I think. So it starts with identifying your beliefs, or
Speaker 1: the beliefs that really are what you would call guiding
Speaker 1: I guess principles, your values, the things that really are
Speaker 1: important to you, that matter to you, and then off
Speaker 1: the back of that, probably your goals and intentions who
Speaker 1: you want to be, how you want to be, and
Speaker 1: I guess the things that underline that, like you're driving reasons.
Speaker 1: So when we know kind of our drivers, our goals,
Speaker 1: our values, our beliefs, which are all self determined, right
Speaker 1: I'm so, for example, I might say one of my
Speaker 1: values is service, which it is. One of my values
Speaker 1: is physical health, which it is. One of my values
Speaker 1: is kindness slash love, which it is.
Speaker 2: Is it you living in alignment? Bro very time to
Speaker 2: me lately?
Speaker 1: Really? Really do you want to go into that? Exactly? Exactly?
Speaker 1: You know? So we identify these things that we say,
Speaker 1: and I mean it's very easy to say this shit too,
Speaker 1: isn't it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You know, I'm all about physical, mental, emotional health, service, kindness,
Speaker 1: And that's easy to say, but it's not easy to do.
Speaker 1: So then the proof in the pudding would be hopefully
Speaker 1: that the way that I live, the way that I
Speaker 1: treat people, the way that I communicate, the way that
Speaker 1: I work, the things that I do to my body,
Speaker 1: that all of the things that I do consciously hopefully
Speaker 1: would reflect obviously not all of them, but let's hope
Speaker 1: the majority of my behaviors, actions, choices, responses, words, communication
Speaker 1: are a reflection of my values, our reflection of my principles,
Speaker 1: our reflection of my truth of who I want to be,
Speaker 1: how I want to be. And so then you would say, well,
Speaker 1: what's the point. Well, the point is that our values,
Speaker 1: our goals, our truth, our intentions, our drivers. They are
Speaker 1: kind of the sat Nav for our life, you know,
Speaker 1: they are. They are our guidance system for building the
Speaker 1: life we want to inhabit and becoming the person that
Speaker 1: we want to become in the middle of that life.
Speaker 1: And so, despite the cheesiness of the term living in alignment,
Speaker 1: I think there is a very real and practical application
Speaker 1: because what we can do, if we want to work backwards,
Speaker 1: is we can say, all right, what am I currently doing, Like,
Speaker 1: let's do a stock take on my current behaviors, my
Speaker 1: current habits, my current life style, my current relationships, and
Speaker 1: this is self awareness, This is not self hate, And
Speaker 1: then say, all right, with my relationship with food, my
Speaker 1: relationship with money, my relationship with my wife or my kids,
Speaker 1: the way that you know, we can do a gentle
Speaker 1: kind of self awareness inventory and just check how we're
Speaker 1: going without beating ourselves up, and just to acknowledge what
Speaker 1: is and what isn't and then hold those things metaphorically
Speaker 1: up against the light that is our alleged values and
Speaker 1: see whether or not there's congruence, whether or not there's
Speaker 1: convergence or divergence. Is there synergy between what I say
Speaker 1: is really important to me and how I am actually living?
Speaker 1: And then the last piece would be what is the
Speaker 1: what is the potential outcome of living out of alignment?
Speaker 1: So I've got some thoughts, but what do you think mentally,
Speaker 1: emotionally and maybe practically could be the consequences of living
Speaker 1: out of alignment?
Speaker 2: I think obviously stress and pain and like emotional turmoil,
Speaker 2: like as you've been talking about it, and I'm thinking
Speaker 2: about it from that self awareness standpoint, and I go,
Speaker 2: I think about myself, I go, am I living in alignment?
Speaker 2: I'm definitely my intention is living in alignment. I'm pretty
Speaker 2: clear on my values. I'm pretty self aware. I'm always
Speaker 2: checking in and looking. But also if I stepped out
Speaker 2: of my life and looked from the outside in, would
Speaker 2: I suggest to the people that I'm teaching, talking to,
Speaker 2: sharing with, would I let them jump in and drive
Speaker 2: the bus? And and no, I wouldn't. And not from
Speaker 2: a bad place, but from a place of Okay, we're
Speaker 2: a bit out of balance, you're fatigued at the moment,
Speaker 2: you're a bit too busy, you haven't stepped out of
Speaker 2: your life in a long time. It works seven days
Speaker 2: a week. That's actually not in alignment, because let's reflect
Speaker 2: on some of your values, and that's a mismatch, but
Speaker 2: it's not from a bad place. So it's so that's
Speaker 2: what's been bouncing through my head as you've been talking.
Speaker 1: I think it's a really good kind of exercise to do.
Speaker 1: Theoretical exercise to do, even just in your head, whether
Speaker 1: or not you jot down stuff on paper or not,
Speaker 1: or as I do on a whiteboard, is to is
Speaker 1: to think about like, yeah, like, and am I in alignment? Mostly?
Speaker 1: Am I out of alignment? Sometimes? Yes? Right? And for
Speaker 1: me when I'm out of alignment, it's like my energy
Speaker 1: is different. I don't this is not the right term.
Speaker 1: It's all I can think of. I don't work as well. Right,
Speaker 1: There's been times, Okay, let's full disclosure. Let's be honest
Speaker 1: and vulnerable. So there's been times when my relationship with you,
Speaker 1: not a lot, and you and I have never had
Speaker 1: a major problem, but we've had moments because we're both
Speaker 1: kind of extrovert ish and strong nature and blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. There's been times when around you, I
Speaker 1: haven't been the leader or the mentor or the person
Speaker 1: or the friend that I thought I should be. And
Speaker 1: for me, not lots, but a few times where I
Speaker 1: was out of alignment, where I didn't handle something as
Speaker 1: well as I should have or could have. I didn't
Speaker 1: respond a way that you know, in a nothing major,
Speaker 1: but I'm just aware there were times when I was
Speaker 1: out of alignment, not out of a lot, not out
Speaker 1: of line with but just where who I want to
Speaker 1: be and how I want to be for you, I
Speaker 1: wasn't that person. And of course I'm human. Of course
Speaker 1: I'm going to fuck up, and and then I could
Speaker 1: then I could, you know which, And I've told this
Speaker 1: story many times where There was a time in my
Speaker 1: life when I owned three gyms and I was, you know,
Speaker 1: training lots of people. I had lots of trainers working
Speaker 1: for me. I had a high profile. I was writing
Speaker 1: for the Herald's son and my behavior away from the
Speaker 1: public eye with food and my lifestyle, I was totally
Speaker 1: out of alignment. I was telling people to do shit
Speaker 1: that I wasn't doing. And the byproduct of that was
Speaker 1: I felt like a fraud because I was a fraud.
Speaker 1: I was terrified that people would find out what I
Speaker 1: was really like. I thought I was a piece of shit.
Speaker 1: I had shit self esteem, which I should have. Like
Speaker 1: there was all this and it was really the main
Speaker 1: cause was just because I wasn't walking my talk at
Speaker 1: all at all. And you know that for me, it's
Speaker 1: been this particular way of looking at it for me anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying anyone else needs to, but for me,
Speaker 1: just being able to distinguish and have clarity around you know,
Speaker 1: forget when people are looking, forget what sounds good, Craig,
Speaker 1: forget what you should say on but really like when
Speaker 1: you're not talking anyone, when no one's looking, when you're
Speaker 1: not getting approval, when no one's going, oh god, that's clever,
Speaker 1: just fucking just you and you what really do you
Speaker 1: want to do and be what really matters? And then
Speaker 1: really not for the fucking show, but really are you
Speaker 1: doing that? And sometimes the answer.
Speaker 2: Is no, kayvid? What about? So what makes me curious
Speaker 2: is then raising the question because I can think of
Speaker 2: times when I've like it's like, I think similarly, look
Speaker 2: at my behavior or reaction even in our relationship over
Speaker 2: the time. Where and the question, I guess the question
Speaker 2: for me is well why not? Because because then when
Speaker 2: as you're saying that, it makes it sound like we're
Speaker 2: living in alignment is a choice I make about my behaviors.
Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, what was the
Speaker 2: what's the thing that has caused you in a moment
Speaker 2: to not be able to show up and to just
Speaker 2: nudge yourself into living by alignment is almost self abandonment
Speaker 2: because for me, you know, I don't know if you
Speaker 2: remember the time once when we had that conversation you
Speaker 2: were like, what's going on with you lately? Like sometimes
Speaker 2: I feel like you resent me? Yeah, and I and
Speaker 2: it was it was it was hard for me because I,
Speaker 2: for the first time had to face a difficult conversation
Speaker 2: and say, look, sometimes I do have this I do
Speaker 2: and I don't know what it is, and I know
Speaker 2: it's not congruent and it doesn't match what I know
Speaker 2: about you, but I'm having this emotional reaction. That's then
Speaker 2: then we show up on a podcast and I'm not
Speaker 2: relating to you in that way. Well, it's self abandonment
Speaker 2: if I just pretend and put on a front and
Speaker 2: a mark. So I had to sit with that and go,
Speaker 2: what is going on with me? That's it's causing that?
Speaker 2: And yeah, so I guess how do we manage that
Speaker 2: in terms of or how does that reflect against living
Speaker 2: in alignment?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the reason that we live out of alignment,
Speaker 1: and thank you for that, it is generally it's an emotion,
Speaker 1: it's a state. It's a moment in time like I'm feeling.
Speaker 2: Wasn't you, Like, let's get clarity around that, like it
Speaker 2: was never you. I was like, yeah, I have this
Speaker 2: feeling of present, but I know logically that you know
Speaker 2: it's not about you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll tell you an interesting story in a minute.
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting anyway, but an antity and by
Speaker 1: the way, everyone this is not the fucking final word
Speaker 1: on this is literally two people really just talking. Honestly.
Speaker 1: I think like when I live out of alignment, which
Speaker 1: is reasonably often at moments, hopefully not weeks on end,
Speaker 1: but it's either it's because I'm fucked i can't be bothered,
Speaker 1: or I'm a bit angry or pissed off, or I'm
Speaker 1: a bit lazy, I'm a bit self indulgent, or like
Speaker 1: we spoke about the run that I went last night
Speaker 1: in the Pelting sideways rain and the fucking hurricane in Hampton,
Speaker 1: It's becoming more dramatic every time I retell the story,
Speaker 1: the blizzard, the snow realized. Fucking hell, I'm like one
Speaker 1: of the early explorers. I'm so fucking tough. Anyway, Anyway,
Speaker 1: like by seven point thirty, I hadn't had dinner, I'd
Speaker 1: just been working, and yesterday was my run day. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I had this internal debate and I started
Speaker 1: to rationalize, right and me being in alignment was doing
Speaker 1: the run right, and you know all the bullshit I say,
Speaker 1: you know, it's cold, who gives a fuck you'll survive,
Speaker 1: it's it's raining, your water proof shut the fuck up. Well,
Speaker 1: I was both the client and the trainer and I'm like, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: but no, my back's hurt. It's a bit and I'm old,
Speaker 1: and it's a bit late, and I'm hungry and I've
Speaker 1: got to get up early tomorrow. I've got appointments and
Speaker 1: you don't understand me, and part of me is like
Speaker 1: you're a caunt. Shut up, you know. It's like, that's sorry, everyone,
Speaker 1: I've dropped the sea bomb twice. Feel free not to
Speaker 1: follow us anymore. And I totally understand, and God bless
Speaker 1: them all the best for the future. So but anyway,
Speaker 1: I went for the run, you know, and whatever. But
Speaker 1: for me, that's I have moments like that regularly where
Speaker 1: I know what I should do, and usually I do
Speaker 1: do the thing I should do, but not always, and
Speaker 1: that's usually it's because you know, an emotion or a
Speaker 1: fear or you know. The other thing I was going
Speaker 1: to say is like you were talking about resentment. I
Speaker 1: won't say who, but I had. I had a session
Speaker 1: today with somebody that I coach, and I don't coach
Speaker 1: many people, but you know, I coach a few people
Speaker 1: and we we were talking about, you know, it's funny
Speaker 1: how like I've and I don't think this is you,
Speaker 1: so I can say it. But it's like I've had
Speaker 1: in my life a lot of people who wanted to
Speaker 1: who this is going to sound arrogant. I don't mean
Speaker 1: it too because I don't think highly of myself, but
Speaker 1: for some reason were drawn to me, right they usually
Speaker 1: and this is not you, despite the fact that you
Speaker 1: tell the story about living in the bamboo which is
Speaker 1: outside my house. Everyone everyone, No, it wasn't because if
Speaker 1: it was, I wouldn't have opened the door and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be working with me the way that you are.
Speaker 1: If this but people who wanted something from me, and
Speaker 1: then I'd help them, I'd support them, I'd encourage them,
Speaker 1: and then i'd you know, open doors for them, I'd
Speaker 1: mentor them, i'd upskill them, and then eventually, if they
Speaker 1: didn't achieve the way that they thought they should achieve,
Speaker 1: it was somehow my fault, right, Yeah, despite the fact
Speaker 1: that they did seventeen podcasts and then gave up and
Speaker 1: I did six hundred podcasts making no money. I'm like,
Speaker 1: do you see the difference, right or you know that
Speaker 1: they whatever? And it's it's so funny that like I feel,
Speaker 1: what like we've diverged, But I I want to be
Speaker 1: one of my one of my strong values is loyalty.
Speaker 1: And you know that, right, I value loyalty because I've
Speaker 1: had so little of it. I've had it and I
Speaker 1: love it. And there are people that love me then
Speaker 1: I don't even deserve their love, right. But you know
Speaker 1: the amount of people that will genuinely even when you're
Speaker 1: going through a shit, even when you're a pain in
Speaker 1: the ass, you know, like be there, you know, And
Speaker 1: because I've you know, without I don't want to fuck
Speaker 1: by the way, I have great friends everyone, and I'm
Speaker 1: very blessed in my life has been awesome. But I've
Speaker 1: had an inordinate amount of people that I really trusted
Speaker 1: and loved and value who have kind of done shit
Speaker 1: things and you know the stories, right, They're not little things,
Speaker 1: they're significant things. And so because of that, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes we learn we can learn from people who are
Speaker 1: crap because we can learn how not to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's like people used to say to me when
Speaker 1: they wanted to do work experience for personal training, because
Speaker 1: you've got to go and do field work or work experience,
Speaker 1: how do I find someone great or how do I
Speaker 1: find a great gym? I go just go to any gym,
Speaker 1: and if they're bad, which they might be, you'll learn
Speaker 1: how not to be and what not to do. Do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like you can go
Speaker 1: and watch you who are a budding, fledgling, developing professional speaker.
Speaker 1: You can go and watch someone crash and burn and learn.
Speaker 1: You can watch a terrible speaker do a terrible job
Speaker 1: and learn five great things. You might learn more than
Speaker 1: watching a genius on stage. Yeah, so you know the cheesy,
Speaker 1: But the world is our classroom and everyone is a
Speaker 1: potential teacher if you look for the lesson.
Speaker 2: What gets missed is everyone's selling a system. So we
Speaker 2: think that there's a system and a way and steps
Speaker 2: and you know, like doing eight hundred and something conversations
Speaker 2: over the last four years. When I started doing podcasting
Speaker 2: and knew nothing about what I was doing doing that
Speaker 2: with no guidance, no course, no aspirations, I didn't even
Speaker 2: know what being a good podcast and meant. But all
Speaker 2: of the attributes and traits and skills, I can't even
Speaker 2: articulate them, like it's changed me. And the thing is
Speaker 2: you can't. Everyone wants to know the answers and the
Speaker 2: tools and the things, but the value is in other places.
Speaker 2: So you can go and find the best personal trainer
Speaker 2: maybe in terms of skill set and results, but what
Speaker 2: about personneality and interpersonal skills and empathy? And I don't know,
Speaker 2: like there's just so many different things that came something.
Speaker 1: Well, I've employed some trainers who were technically brilliant. That is,
Speaker 1: they could teach you how to squad, how to deadlift.
Speaker 1: They could tell you what muscles were you know, prime movers,
Speaker 1: what were stabilized, is what plane and movement you're in.
Speaker 1: They could talk about micros and macros and you know,
Speaker 1: but they were fucking boring their clients or they didn't
Speaker 1: like they They couldn't build rapport, they couldn't build trust,
Speaker 1: they couldn't build respect, and that's not you know, all
Speaker 1: that other stuff is really good. But you can have
Speaker 1: vast knowledge, but you don't have great people skills. You
Speaker 1: can't you're not intuitive or instinctive. You can't read the rooms,
Speaker 1: so to speak. Like and I've opened a lot of
Speaker 1: fitness conferences, a lot where I've stood it, and I've
Speaker 1: done the opening keynote, and I'm doing one in fact
Speaker 1: for Ignite Fitness for Male Tempers very soon and I've
Speaker 1: done a version of this where I've said, here's what
Speaker 1: personal trainers and fitness professionals don't get, you know, and
Speaker 1: that is if you tick all the boxes, but you
Speaker 1: don't create an experience for a client or a member
Speaker 1: where they want to come back, then all the rest
Speaker 1: doesn't matter because they ain't coming back. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how shiny the dumbbells are, doesn't matter, if you've got
Speaker 1: a million bucks worth of equipment, doesn't matter if you've
Speaker 1: got a PhD, doesn't matter if you know functional anatomy
Speaker 1: inside out. If they don't enjoy the experience, they don't
Speaker 1: enjoy the culture, they don't enjoy the energy. The rest
Speaker 1: is redundant. Now it all matters, But your first priority
Speaker 1: is to one not injure anyone, and then very quickly
Speaker 1: understand the person and within the body. Like you're not
Speaker 1: training a body. You're training a person. You're working with, connecting,
Speaker 1: building rapport and understanding a multi dimensional, complicated person who
Speaker 1: lives in a body. You're not trying to connect with
Speaker 1: their body. You're trying to connect with their soul, with
Speaker 1: their spirit, with their personality, with their energy, with their mind.
Speaker 1: And then you worry about the body, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel the same about that. Like speaker coaches
Speaker 2: and when they talk about the tools, the vocal tools
Speaker 2: and the like, all of those skills and things that
Speaker 2: the people teach, and I just have a bit of
Speaker 2: an aversion to a lot of them. Well, it takes
Speaker 2: away from the fact that it puts the focus on me. Right,
Speaker 2: the focus is on me. I'm a speaker. But when
Speaker 2: I'm in there in my head and thinking about the
Speaker 2: pitch and the thing, and it's this big reduction and
Speaker 2: I really I think what's important for me and I
Speaker 2: would think most speakers, when you hear about their alignment,
Speaker 2: living in alignment and their values, it's about the people
Speaker 2: sitting in the audience and learning. Thinking about what pitch
Speaker 2: and pace and fucking stance that you have on stage
Speaker 2: gives no fucks about the people sitting in the audience.
Speaker 2: Who are you? How do you connect with this? What
Speaker 2: does this mean to you? How do I tap into that? Like?
Speaker 2: That is way more important.
Speaker 1: And also the thing that formulae don't take into accounts
Speaker 1: is that everybody's individual and what will work for you
Speaker 1: on stage would not work for me. Yeah, it would
Speaker 1: be similar because you and I are similar, but there
Speaker 1: were other people who they thrive where they you know,
Speaker 1: a slide, set of slides, powerpoints to videos. I start
Speaker 1: on this bit, I finish on that, and in between
Speaker 1: I do these bits, and then I've got an activity
Speaker 1: at the twenty minute mark that goes for three minutes
Speaker 1: and it's very formulaic, and that's okay, but I would
Speaker 1: crash and burn doing that because I would just be
Speaker 1: riffing and then go, fucking hell, I've missed three slides,
Speaker 1: and I've forgot about the video, and I've told four
Speaker 1: dick jokes and fuck, I've only got two minutes left right, Like,
Speaker 1: that doesn't work for me, so we need to It's
Speaker 1: like going, oh, we should all eat the same food. No,
Speaker 1: that's fucking ridiculous, and we shouldn't have the same job,
Speaker 1: and we all shouldn't get married, and we all shouldn't.
Speaker 1: You know. Some people are attracted to men, some are
Speaker 1: attracted to women, some are attracted to both. Some people
Speaker 1: love nuts. Some people fucking die if they eat nuts.
Speaker 1: Some people need a nine to five. Some people should
Speaker 1: have their own business. Some people should lift weights. Some
Speaker 1: people should do more aerobic stuff. Some people need six
Speaker 1: hours sleep, some need nine. Like the idea that there's
Speaker 1: a single best way to do fucking anything is ridiculous,
Speaker 1: you know, And so it's trying to understand, how do
Speaker 1: I do this thing best? What's my formula, what's my recipe?
Speaker 1: You know? Not like the biggest podcaster in the world
Speaker 1: is Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan has never done one fucking
Speaker 1: workshop on how to be a podcaster. He has never
Speaker 1: had any advice from anyone on how to do it.
Speaker 1: I've never ever done even at five minutes of a
Speaker 1: speaking workshop or course or program where I learned or
Speaker 1: I got taught how to be a speaker. I learned
Speaker 1: how to be a speaker by stepping into the arena
Speaker 1: and being fucking terrible and paying attention and fucking up
Speaker 1: and getting up and fucking up and getting up and
Speaker 1: getting better and getting slightly better and getting metaphorically strangled
Speaker 1: and choked and punched. And then a year in I
Speaker 1: wasn't horrible. I was just bad, and two years I
Speaker 1: was mediocre, and five years in I was okay. You know.
Speaker 1: It's not like, which is not to say nobody should
Speaker 1: do a podcasting course or speak It's not to say
Speaker 1: that It's just to say that these this idea where
Speaker 1: there is five steps or three steps or eight steps
Speaker 1: to this outcome for any body or any individual, is
Speaker 1: a wildly flawed, completely unscientific, completely invalid concept. It doesn't
Speaker 1: There's about three things that we all have to do,
Speaker 1: and one of them is breathe right.
Speaker 2: Most of the time that I have done a course
Speaker 2: or followed as some sort of a structure, it's put
Speaker 2: me out of alignment. You know, when I did an
Speaker 2: online coaching course back in I don't know, I think
Speaker 2: it was twenty sixteen, and I hit the ground running.
Speaker 2: It was incredibly successful, but I felt so incredibly out
Speaker 2: of alignment once I launched it, because all I'd done
Speaker 2: was follow a formula, and I was like, this does
Speaker 2: a match my values. My values are so much deeper
Speaker 2: than this, and I feel like a fraud. And there's
Speaker 2: no way I'm going to take money off people and
Speaker 2: do this. Even if they're getting the results they want,
Speaker 2: they're not the results I want.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, that's interesting. Well, you and I are similar in that.
Speaker 1: It's like, I mean, I don't know what we're I
Speaker 1: don't know what number podcasts this is, but we're heading
Speaker 1: towards sixteen hundred, and I virtually never promote anything on
Speaker 1: my own show, like That's Mine. Yeah, like maybe ten
Speaker 1: times in sixteen hundred episodes I've promoted a workshop or
Speaker 1: I don't like selling things that because I don't want
Speaker 1: people to think, oh, I get it. This is just
Speaker 1: a vehicle FIM to sell his shit to me, because
Speaker 1: it isn't. If it was, I'm fucking terrible at it.
Speaker 2: You can get a beanie and a diary online if
Speaker 2: you get a great Carba dot Man, well.
Speaker 1: You can get a beanie. But none of the money
Speaker 1: goes to me. It goes to the Danny Frawley Foundation.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to sell that. I don't take the money. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the money doesn't even go to me. So buy those
Speaker 1: motherfuckers out, you know, go to my website. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm happy to sell you. I'm not happy to
Speaker 1: sell me because it doesn't look Do I hope people
Speaker 1: will come to my workshops? And of course when we're
Speaker 1: going to launch something, which we are soon, do we
Speaker 1: promote it. Yep? But generally I don't. Either I don't
Speaker 1: talk about it much on here, or I don't talk
Speaker 1: about it at all. In fact, often Melissa will say
Speaker 1: to me, did you mention that we've got up? No,
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about it. And I'll do that
Speaker 1: ten episodes in a row and she'll go her head
Speaker 1: against all. Yeah, She's like, you fuck an idiot. All
Speaker 1: these people are listening, at least tell them we're doing
Speaker 1: a workshop in Brisbane or by the way, everyone, I
Speaker 1: am doing some workshops soon. But that wasn't the reason
Speaker 1: for this. But yeah, I'm with you. I'm very uncomfortable
Speaker 1: to do. You know. I've been told by many people,
Speaker 1: like there's been many times I've had seven hundred people
Speaker 1: in a room at Deacon and at the end there's
Speaker 1: no sales pitch, and people like, where's the on cell,
Speaker 1: where's the upsell? I go, there isn't one, And they're like,
Speaker 1: why I go. That's not the reason for doing this.
Speaker 1: This is not a thinly veiled marketing exercise. This is
Speaker 1: just a conference where we want to inspire and educate
Speaker 1: and inform and hopefully people go away and do all
Speaker 1: some shits. You know, But I'm not getting them here
Speaker 1: for a low ticket price to sell them to a
Speaker 1: higher price fucking thing at the end. And I know that,
Speaker 1: you know, if I'm listening to Alex Hormosy and all
Speaker 1: the online sales and marketing people, I'm probably doing the
Speaker 1: wrong thing depending on which lens you're looking through. But
Speaker 1: for my value system, I'm doing the right thing.
Speaker 2: Well that's yeah, that's exactly right. We have to be
Speaker 2: driven by how it feels.
Speaker 1: If you said to me, and I've said this before
Speaker 1: four but if I was talking to Josh Pittman, I
Speaker 1: was at Josh, no someone else recently. I saw Josh
Speaker 1: yes day, but I was talking to somebody else yes
Speaker 1: day about this. Anyway, it was like I said, if
Speaker 1: I had the possibility, if I had the option of
Speaker 1: talking at Votaphone Arena tomorrow to ten thousand people for free,
Speaker 1: or across the road talking to one hundred people in
Speaker 1: a small venue for ten grand, I would talk at
Speaker 1: Votaphone Arena for free. I would love to have ten
Speaker 1: thousand people live and do a three hour workshop and
Speaker 1: not sell anything, not have any books, not have any
Speaker 1: T shirts, not promote the podcast, not nothing. Just give
Speaker 1: me ten thousand people that I can connect with, that
Speaker 1: I can invest my energy and my soul into and
Speaker 1: send them on their way. Even if I know that
Speaker 1: they will never spend one sent at craigorg dot com,
Speaker 1: rite or whatever. I would That would maybe be the
Speaker 1: highlight of my life to be able to do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how much I don't what's that?
Speaker 2: You not know your own website?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, it's Craigharper dot net. I know that,
Speaker 1: you see. Anyway, I feel like we've gone in circles
Speaker 1: and it must be time for a chicken filet and
Speaker 1: some broccoli. What are you having for dinner tonight? I
Speaker 1: don't know this is an in appropriate conversation, but I've.
Speaker 2: Already had mine. I had some Mediterranean chicken tenderloins.
Speaker 1: Did you cook those or buy those?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Not?
Speaker 2: Chef in a box? They are brilliant.
Speaker 1: Chef in a box, speaking.
Speaker 2: Of homemade like made by Mick. He's amazing hand delivers
Speaker 2: them and they're delicious.
Speaker 1: Hey, chef in a box, Craig Harper, No pressure, did
Speaker 1: I mention chef in a box? Chef in a box?
Speaker 1: Chef in a box? If I don't get it, at
Speaker 1: least one fucking meal from that? Hey? Now? Am money kidding?
Speaker 1: Am I? Though? Thanks? Tim? Thanks hap see everyone chipping
Speaker 1: a box h