1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,559
Speaker 1: I get a Champs. It's Jumbo and Tiviley Cook, the pugilist,

2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,920
Speaker 1: the boxer, the woman on the front of the bloody

3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,400
Speaker 1: album of the year, the shy, little, retiring, quiet, humble

4
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:16,920
Speaker 1: wallflower post thirty photos of her head a day on

5
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:22,040
Speaker 1: social media. Oh an ambo going? Can you hear that

6
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:22,680
Speaker 1: Ambo going?

7
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,640
Speaker 2: Pass? I know, because you've got a brilliant market microphone

8
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,200
Speaker 2: that doesn't capture that or hang on.

9
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:28,920
Speaker 1: Yeah you can.

10
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,000
Speaker 2: I might have called a bit of that. Yeah, it's

11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 2: all happening in Hampton.

12
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,599
Speaker 1: It's all happening in Hampton, and bloody you know.

13
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,760
Speaker 2: What they're out looking for that crazy bloke running in

14
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,519
Speaker 2: a red singlet in the rain, massive lats.

15
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,640
Speaker 1: He stole something that's I do. It's a picture seeing

16
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,280
Speaker 1: me gallop. I'm like, what are those horses called it?

17
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,320
Speaker 1: Is it a draft horse? Yeah? No, is that what

18
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,880
Speaker 1: they're called? The super big ones?

19
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, the big ones with the big hairy feet.

20
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,840
Speaker 1: No, there's another name. What are those huge? Let me

21
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:08,040
Speaker 1: ask the a Clydesdale. Clydesdale, I'm like a fucking human Clydesdale,

22
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:13,440
Speaker 1: just clunking around Suburbia with my big stupid my mom

23
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:20,400
Speaker 1: says my back looks like a tortoise shell. Like at

24
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:28,720
Speaker 1: I went from massage. Yeah, Lla, I went from massage

25
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 1: in this lovely Asian lady who who was going to

26
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,480
Speaker 1: rub my shit? I took off my T shirt and

27
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,640
Speaker 1: she goes, I won't do the accent because that's terrible.

28
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,480
Speaker 1: But she told me in no uncertain terms that my

29
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,960
Speaker 1: back was too big. It's like, it's too big. I'm like, well,

30
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:56,120
Speaker 1: the only one I have. I couldn't. I couldn't be

31
00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,600
Speaker 1: smaller ones. You're going and get my economy back, She's like,

32
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,360
Speaker 1: and then she proceeded to get up. This was the time.

33
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,600
Speaker 1: Have you ever had Did I talk to you about this?

34
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,840
Speaker 1: The other day I'm having dajavu. Have you ever had

35
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,680
Speaker 1: one of those massage massages where they walk on you? No?

36
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:11,239
Speaker 2: I haven't.

37
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god. The best thing ever. So what they

38
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 1: do is they stand up, not all but in sometime massages.

39
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,080
Speaker 1: Well that's my understanding and my experience. So they have

40
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,960
Speaker 1: like a so whatever direction the bed or the bench

41
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,200
Speaker 1: is running above that, they have a pole like under

42
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,399
Speaker 1: the roof that's running in the same direction. So they

43
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,480
Speaker 1: stand on you and they hold the pole. So they

44
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,080
Speaker 1: use the pole to kind of you know, balance and

45
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,360
Speaker 1: also maybe even take a little bit of weight off.

46
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,239
Speaker 1: But I'm like, just fucking run around up there. It's

47
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,800
Speaker 1: great and it's just go for a jog on my back.

48
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:53,440
Speaker 1: That shit feels great and like within reason, the harder

49
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,040
Speaker 1: the better. And they when they like step on your

50
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,400
Speaker 1: hamstrings and like all their I'm like, oh god, and.

51
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,360
Speaker 2: Then they step I'm good with back, but hammies and glutes.

52
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,480
Speaker 2: Once they get nah, that's oh yeah.

53
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,560
Speaker 1: Once they step on your ass, but not the middle

54
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,400
Speaker 1: of your ass, like the top outside of your ass,

55
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,960
Speaker 1: near your iliac crest.

56
00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,600
Speaker 2: You know you're about to rip out some scientific bloody

57
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:17,600
Speaker 2: muscle groups.

58
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 1: Well you know, you know when you look at like

59
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,560
Speaker 1: the Mickey mouse is of the pelvis, you know what

60
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,520
Speaker 1: I mean. That's the that's the that's the ilium, and

61
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 1: the tops like the iliac crest and up there, like

62
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 1: I think it's glut mead. Oh, that shit gets tight.

63
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,600
Speaker 1: You could drive your fucking car back and forth on that.

64
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 1: I'd be so happy. It's like so tight. Oh my god,

65
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 1: Elbows don't work, hands don't work. I need feet. I

66
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,520
Speaker 1: somebody doing some boots scooting up there?

67
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,960
Speaker 2: You get the crab up there, sometimes.

68
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 1: Fuck the crab's getting there where near my bottom. Crab.

69
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,760
Speaker 1: The crab, the crab does not have the skills required

70
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:03,160
Speaker 1: to work on my sixty year fucking muscles. I'll give

71
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,920
Speaker 1: you the tip. I'll give you the tip. Yes, So

72
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,480
Speaker 1: we were going to chat. We weren't going to chat

73
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:14,680
Speaker 1: about massage and asses. We were going to talk about

74
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:21,440
Speaker 1: this idea of it. It is very often used term

75
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,600
Speaker 1: these days in self help, in personal development, in the

76
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:32,000
Speaker 1: corporate space, in health, in wellness, which is living in alignment.

77
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,400
Speaker 1: And I get asked a little bit about that, and

78
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,279
Speaker 1: I talk about that, and I'm up front going to

79
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,000
Speaker 1: acknowledge that, Yeah, it's kind of a wanky term. It's

80
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 1: kind of cheesy. And I don't think there's any like

81
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,839
Speaker 1: a lot of ideas and constructs. I don't think there

82
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,680
Speaker 1: is a universally agreed upon definition that is this is

83
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,560
Speaker 1: the only true you know, And so I think it's

84
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:04,200
Speaker 1: open for interpretation. So with that in mind, we actually

85
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,039
Speaker 1: I was gonna I was going to give what are

86
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,520
Speaker 1: you looking at on your screen? Well, I thought, what

87
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,280
Speaker 1: are you looking at?

88
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,200
Speaker 2: What is living in a lot?

89
00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,760
Speaker 1: Don't look at it, don't look at it. You tell

90
00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,720
Speaker 1: me what you think it is. Look at you looking

91
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:17,840
Speaker 1: at your screen too late.

92
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,599
Speaker 2: I already PRESSCO. The worst thing about doing these in

93
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 2: the evening with you. My room's a lot darker, so

94
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,039
Speaker 2: if I bring up Google, it shines a light on

95
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:25,440
Speaker 2: my face.

96
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,200
Speaker 1: I can see when you're cheating. I want you to

97
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:32,159
Speaker 1: be organic. Look at you, you're reading the screen? Stop it?

98
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,760
Speaker 2: Well, because well I haven't read it yet.

99
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,920
Speaker 1: I haven't read Yes, you have you fucking lira. I

100
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,640
Speaker 1: just saw your scanning your eyes.

101
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,760
Speaker 2: No, well, because I was trying to grasp I was

102
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,560
Speaker 2: trying to grasp the word, but all I was getting

103
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,440
Speaker 2: was just big headings and nothing with any substance. And

104
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,240
Speaker 2: now I've closed the window, as you can see, because

105
00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,880
Speaker 2: the light is no longer shining on my face. Living

106
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,240
Speaker 2: in alignment It's a funny one because I was going

107
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,120
Speaker 2: to go, what do people even mean by that? Sometimes

108
00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,440
Speaker 2: I think these terms get grabbed hold of and thrown

109
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,440
Speaker 2: aware around by so many different people that they we

110
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,119
Speaker 2: lose the essence of what the fuck it even means,

111
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,359
Speaker 2: even the people saying it. If someone come up to

112
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 2: me and said, are you living in alignment? I think

113
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,680
Speaker 2: I just pause and go, what do you mean? What

114
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:15,599
Speaker 2: do you mean by that?

115
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,599
Speaker 1: Yeah? Are you talking about my spine? What are you

116
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,760
Speaker 1: talking about? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I think

117
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,960
Speaker 1: and like I said, this is open to interpretation. And

118
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,640
Speaker 1: so what I'm going to share and what you're going

119
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,120
Speaker 1: to share is just two people thinking out loud. But

120
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,480
Speaker 1: so do you want to have a go or do

121
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,400
Speaker 1: you want me to bang on?

122
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:37,840
Speaker 2: I want you to bang on?

123
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:42,880
Speaker 1: Ah, So for me living a life of alignment. And

124
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:46,080
Speaker 1: this is just my interpretation. And what are you reading?

125
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,560
Speaker 2: Actually looking deep into your eyes, taking in every word

126
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,400
Speaker 2: that you're saying. I'm not reading anything.

127
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,200
Speaker 1: All right, Sorry, everyone, this is terrible listening so far.

128
00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:57,240
Speaker 1: I'll try and do better.

129
00:06:59,080 --> 00:06:59,960
Speaker 2: So full attention.

130
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,200
Speaker 1: Let's zoom out from the personal to the macro, from

131
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 1: the micro to the macro, something more global, which would

132
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,240
Speaker 1: be a team or an organization. So really easy to

133
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,040
Speaker 1: understand is most companies have what they call a mission statement,

134
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,520
Speaker 1: which half of them are complete fucking wanky bullshit because

135
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,640
Speaker 1: they think they need to have something. So I'll wear

136
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,080
Speaker 1: a value driven company. Where a value driven organ are

137
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:28,040
Speaker 1: you or you are money? You are money driven organization?

138
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 1: And if you are that's okay too. It's a commercial world.

139
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,280
Speaker 1: But if that company was living in alignment, for one

140
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,280
Speaker 1: of a better term, with their mission statement or their

141
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:44,160
Speaker 1: alleged values. Then you would be able to ascertain what

142
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:49,720
Speaker 1: their values care values as an organization are just by

143
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,160
Speaker 1: paying attention to how they operate. So, in other words,

144
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 1: the day to day operation and interactions and systems and

145
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:03,080
Speaker 1: communication and culture, an experience of the customer that would

146
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,240
Speaker 1: be reflective of or in alignment with who they say

147
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 1: they are as an organization. Right, And I don't think

148
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,400
Speaker 1: that's a bad thing. I think if that's real, well,

149
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,920
Speaker 1: that's great. And I think I think it's hard to execute,

150
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,960
Speaker 1: especially when you have hundreds of employees, because we all

151
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,880
Speaker 1: just rock up and roll up our sleeves and do

152
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,320
Speaker 1: our thing. We're not running out into the fucking reception

153
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,080
Speaker 1: area to look over Donna's shoulder or Brian's shoulder to

154
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,760
Speaker 1: see the mission statement behind their head, are we?

155
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:32,920
Speaker 2: Well?

156
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,480
Speaker 1: Hang on, let me just check what's point for? Oh,

157
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,920
Speaker 1: that's right, don't call the customer a comp thanks, I'll

158
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,840
Speaker 1: note that down all right back to my desk, right,

159
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:47,040
Speaker 1: So that's that's not happening. But no, to sell customer

160
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 1: service must do better. But then on on a personal level,

161
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,240
Speaker 1: on a personal level, I this is what I think.

162
00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:04,120
Speaker 1: I think. So it starts with identifying your beliefs, or

163
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,680
Speaker 1: the beliefs that really are what you would call guiding

164
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,240
Speaker 1: I guess principles, your values, the things that really are

165
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,520
Speaker 1: important to you, that matter to you, and then off

166
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:21,200
Speaker 1: the back of that, probably your goals and intentions who

167
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,960
Speaker 1: you want to be, how you want to be, and

168
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:31,160
Speaker 1: I guess the things that underline that, like you're driving reasons.

169
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,559
Speaker 1: So when we know kind of our drivers, our goals,

170
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:39,040
Speaker 1: our values, our beliefs, which are all self determined, right

171
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,240
Speaker 1: I'm so, for example, I might say one of my

172
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,880
Speaker 1: values is service, which it is. One of my values

173
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,479
Speaker 1: is physical health, which it is. One of my values

174
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,720
Speaker 1: is kindness slash love, which it is.

175
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,600
Speaker 2: Is it you living in alignment? Bro very time to

176
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 2: me lately?

177
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:06,080
Speaker 1: Really? Really do you want to go into that? Exactly? Exactly?

178
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,079
Speaker 1: You know? So we identify these things that we say,

179
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,160
Speaker 1: and I mean it's very easy to say this shit too,

180
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:15,520
Speaker 1: isn't it?

181
00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:15,719
Speaker 2: Oh?

182
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,280
Speaker 1: You know, I'm all about physical, mental, emotional health, service, kindness,

183
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,840
Speaker 1: And that's easy to say, but it's not easy to do.

184
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,480
Speaker 1: So then the proof in the pudding would be hopefully

185
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,880
Speaker 1: that the way that I live, the way that I

186
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,040
Speaker 1: treat people, the way that I communicate, the way that

187
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,640
Speaker 1: I work, the things that I do to my body,

188
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:41,480
Speaker 1: that all of the things that I do consciously hopefully

189
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:45,200
Speaker 1: would reflect obviously not all of them, but let's hope

190
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 1: the majority of my behaviors, actions, choices, responses, words, communication

191
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:56,360
Speaker 1: are a reflection of my values, our reflection of my principles,

192
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,880
Speaker 1: our reflection of my truth of who I want to be,

193
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:06,040
Speaker 1: how I want to be. And so then you would say, well,

194
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:10,880
Speaker 1: what's the point. Well, the point is that our values,

195
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:15,360
Speaker 1: our goals, our truth, our intentions, our drivers. They are

196
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:20,120
Speaker 1: kind of the sat Nav for our life, you know,

197
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 1: they are. They are our guidance system for building the

198
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,800
Speaker 1: life we want to inhabit and becoming the person that

199
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,520
Speaker 1: we want to become in the middle of that life.

200
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 1: And so, despite the cheesiness of the term living in alignment,

201
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:43,120
Speaker 1: I think there is a very real and practical application

202
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,719
Speaker 1: because what we can do, if we want to work backwards,

203
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:52,640
Speaker 1: is we can say, all right, what am I currently doing, Like,

204
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:57,040
Speaker 1: let's do a stock take on my current behaviors, my

205
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:03,720
Speaker 1: current habits, my current life style, my current relationships, and

206
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,800
Speaker 1: this is self awareness, This is not self hate, And

207
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,640
Speaker 1: then say, all right, with my relationship with food, my

208
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 1: relationship with money, my relationship with my wife or my kids,

209
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,600
Speaker 1: the way that you know, we can do a gentle

210
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 1: kind of self awareness inventory and just check how we're

211
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,960
Speaker 1: going without beating ourselves up, and just to acknowledge what

212
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:34,440
Speaker 1: is and what isn't and then hold those things metaphorically

213
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,960
Speaker 1: up against the light that is our alleged values and

214
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,720
Speaker 1: see whether or not there's congruence, whether or not there's

215
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:50,079
Speaker 1: convergence or divergence. Is there synergy between what I say

216
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,880
Speaker 1: is really important to me and how I am actually living?

217
00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:00,600
Speaker 1: And then the last piece would be what is the

218
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 1: what is the potential outcome of living out of alignment?

219
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,520
Speaker 1: So I've got some thoughts, but what do you think mentally,

220
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:16,760
Speaker 1: emotionally and maybe practically could be the consequences of living

221
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,960
Speaker 1: out of alignment?

222
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:30,040
Speaker 2: I think obviously stress and pain and like emotional turmoil,

223
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,640
Speaker 2: like as you've been talking about it, and I'm thinking

224
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:36,360
Speaker 2: about it from that self awareness standpoint, and I go,

225
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,120
Speaker 2: I think about myself, I go, am I living in alignment?

226
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,480
Speaker 2: I'm definitely my intention is living in alignment. I'm pretty

227
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:48,400
Speaker 2: clear on my values. I'm pretty self aware. I'm always

228
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,600
Speaker 2: checking in and looking. But also if I stepped out

229
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:57,079
Speaker 2: of my life and looked from the outside in, would

230
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:03,400
Speaker 2: I suggest to the people that I'm teaching, talking to,

231
00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,880
Speaker 2: sharing with, would I let them jump in and drive

232
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,440
Speaker 2: the bus? And and no, I wouldn't. And not from

233
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,320
Speaker 2: a bad place, but from a place of Okay, we're

234
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,560
Speaker 2: a bit out of balance, you're fatigued at the moment,

235
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,439
Speaker 2: you're a bit too busy, you haven't stepped out of

236
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,920
Speaker 2: your life in a long time. It works seven days

237
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,920
Speaker 2: a week. That's actually not in alignment, because let's reflect

238
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,520
Speaker 2: on some of your values, and that's a mismatch, but

239
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,760
Speaker 2: it's not from a bad place. So it's so that's

240
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,600
Speaker 2: what's been bouncing through my head as you've been talking.

241
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: I think it's a really good kind of exercise to do.

242
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,080
Speaker 1: Theoretical exercise to do, even just in your head, whether

243
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 1: or not you jot down stuff on paper or not,

244
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,960
Speaker 1: or as I do on a whiteboard, is to is

245
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,120
Speaker 1: to think about like, yeah, like, and am I in alignment? Mostly?

246
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,320
Speaker 1: Am I out of alignment? Sometimes? Yes? Right? And for

247
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 1: me when I'm out of alignment, it's like my energy

248
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:08,520
Speaker 1: is different. I don't this is not the right term.

249
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,400
Speaker 1: It's all I can think of. I don't work as well. Right,

250
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 1: There's been times, Okay, let's full disclosure. Let's be honest

251
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:20,800
Speaker 1: and vulnerable. So there's been times when my relationship with you,

252
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 1: not a lot, and you and I have never had

253
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,000
Speaker 1: a major problem, but we've had moments because we're both

254
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 1: kind of extrovert ish and strong nature and blah blah

255
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:39,160
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. There's been times when around you, I

256
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 1: haven't been the leader or the mentor or the person

257
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 1: or the friend that I thought I should be. And

258
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,440
Speaker 1: for me, not lots, but a few times where I

259
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,280
Speaker 1: was out of alignment, where I didn't handle something as

260
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,640
Speaker 1: well as I should have or could have. I didn't

261
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,880
Speaker 1: respond a way that you know, in a nothing major,

262
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,920
Speaker 1: but I'm just aware there were times when I was

263
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,000
Speaker 1: out of alignment, not out of a lot, not out

264
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,160
Speaker 1: of line with but just where who I want to

265
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:14,600
Speaker 1: be and how I want to be for you, I

266
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 1: wasn't that person. And of course I'm human. Of course

267
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 1: I'm going to fuck up, and and then I could

268
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,040
Speaker 1: then I could, you know which, And I've told this

269
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 1: story many times where There was a time in my

270
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 1: life when I owned three gyms and I was, you know,

271
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 1: training lots of people. I had lots of trainers working

272
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,280
Speaker 1: for me. I had a high profile. I was writing

273
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,840
Speaker 1: for the Herald's son and my behavior away from the

274
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 1: public eye with food and my lifestyle, I was totally

275
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 1: out of alignment. I was telling people to do shit

276
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 1: that I wasn't doing. And the byproduct of that was

277
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 1: I felt like a fraud because I was a fraud.

278
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 1: I was terrified that people would find out what I

279
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 1: was really like. I thought I was a piece of shit.

280
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 1: I had shit self esteem, which I should have. Like

281
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 1: there was all this and it was really the main

282
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:15,479
Speaker 1: cause was just because I wasn't walking my talk at

283
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 1: all at all. And you know that for me, it's

284
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:24,399
Speaker 1: been this particular way of looking at it for me anyway,

285
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 1: I'm not saying anyone else needs to, but for me,

286
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,399
Speaker 1: just being able to distinguish and have clarity around you know,

287
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 1: forget when people are looking, forget what sounds good, Craig,

288
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 1: forget what you should say on but really like when

289
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,480
Speaker 1: you're not talking anyone, when no one's looking, when you're

290
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 1: not getting approval, when no one's going, oh god, that's clever,

291
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 1: just fucking just you and you what really do you

292
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 1: want to do and be what really matters? And then

293
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:57,040
Speaker 1: really not for the fucking show, but really are you

294
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 1: doing that? And sometimes the answer.

295
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 2: Is no, kayvid? What about? So what makes me curious

296
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 2: is then raising the question because I can think of

297
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 2: times when I've like it's like, I think similarly, look

298
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 2: at my behavior or reaction even in our relationship over

299
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 2: the time. Where and the question, I guess the question

300
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 2: for me is well why not? Because because then when

301
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,960
Speaker 2: as you're saying that, it makes it sound like we're

302
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 2: living in alignment is a choice I make about my behaviors.

303
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, what was the

304
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:39,719
Speaker 2: what's the thing that has caused you in a moment

305
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: to not be able to show up and to just

306
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 2: nudge yourself into living by alignment is almost self abandonment

307
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 2: because for me, you know, I don't know if you

308
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 2: remember the time once when we had that conversation you

309
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 2: were like, what's going on with you lately? Like sometimes

310
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 2: I feel like you resent me? Yeah, and I and

311
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 2: it was it was it was hard for me because I,

312
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 2: for the first time had to face a difficult conversation

313
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 2: and say, look, sometimes I do have this I do

314
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 2: and I don't know what it is, and I know

315
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 2: it's not congruent and it doesn't match what I know

316
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 2: about you, but I'm having this emotional reaction. That's then

317
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 2: then we show up on a podcast and I'm not

318
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,959
Speaker 2: relating to you in that way. Well, it's self abandonment

319
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,119
Speaker 2: if I just pretend and put on a front and

320
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 2: a mark. So I had to sit with that and go,

321
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: what is going on with me? That's it's causing that?

322
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 2: And yeah, so I guess how do we manage that

323
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 2: in terms of or how does that reflect against living

324
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 2: in alignment?

325
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the reason that we live out of alignment,

326
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 1: and thank you for that, it is generally it's an emotion,

327
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:59,959
Speaker 1: it's a state. It's a moment in time like I'm feeling.

328
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 2: Wasn't you, Like, let's get clarity around that, like it

329
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 2: was never you. I was like, yeah, I have this

330
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: feeling of present, but I know logically that you know

331
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 2: it's not about you.

332
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll tell you an interesting story in a minute.

333
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting anyway, but an antity and by

334
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 1: the way, everyone this is not the fucking final word

335
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,640
Speaker 1: on this is literally two people really just talking. Honestly.

336
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 1: I think like when I live out of alignment, which

337
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: is reasonably often at moments, hopefully not weeks on end,

338
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,160
Speaker 1: but it's either it's because I'm fucked i can't be bothered,

339
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 1: or I'm a bit angry or pissed off, or I'm

340
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 1: a bit lazy, I'm a bit self indulgent, or like

341
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: we spoke about the run that I went last night

342
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: in the Pelting sideways rain and the fucking hurricane in Hampton,

343
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: It's becoming more dramatic every time I retell the story,

344
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: the blizzard, the snow realized. Fucking hell, I'm like one

345
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 1: of the early explorers. I'm so fucking tough. Anyway, Anyway,

346
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: like by seven point thirty, I hadn't had dinner, I'd

347
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: just been working, and yesterday was my run day. Oh

348
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: my god. I had this internal debate and I started

349
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 1: to rationalize, right and me being in alignment was doing

350
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: the run right, and you know all the bullshit I say,

351
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: you know, it's cold, who gives a fuck you'll survive,

352
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: it's it's raining, your water proof shut the fuck up. Well,

353
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: I was both the client and the trainer and I'm like, no, yeah,

354
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: but no, my back's hurt. It's a bit and I'm old,

355
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: and it's a bit late, and I'm hungry and I've

356
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 1: got to get up early tomorrow. I've got appointments and

357
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 1: you don't understand me, and part of me is like

358
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: you're a caunt. Shut up, you know. It's like, that's sorry, everyone,

359
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 1: I've dropped the sea bomb twice. Feel free not to

360
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 1: follow us anymore. And I totally understand, and God bless

361
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: them all the best for the future. So but anyway,

362
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: I went for the run, you know, and whatever. But

363
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: for me, that's I have moments like that regularly where

364
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: I know what I should do, and usually I do

365
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: do the thing I should do, but not always, and

366
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: that's usually it's because you know, an emotion or a

367
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: fear or you know. The other thing I was going

368
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 1: to say is like you were talking about resentment. I

369
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 1: won't say who, but I had. I had a session

370
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: today with somebody that I coach, and I don't coach

371
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: many people, but you know, I coach a few people

372
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 1: and we we were talking about, you know, it's funny

373
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: how like I've and I don't think this is you,

374
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: so I can say it. But it's like I've had

375
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: in my life a lot of people who wanted to

376
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 1: who this is going to sound arrogant. I don't mean

377
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 1: it too because I don't think highly of myself, but

378
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 1: for some reason were drawn to me, right they usually

379
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: and this is not you, despite the fact that you

380
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,919
Speaker 1: tell the story about living in the bamboo which is

381
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: outside my house. Everyone everyone, No, it wasn't because if

382
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: it was, I wouldn't have opened the door and you

383
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: wouldn't be working with me the way that you are.

384
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,479
Speaker 1: If this but people who wanted something from me, and

385
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: then I'd help them, I'd support them, I'd encourage them,

386
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 1: and then i'd you know, open doors for them, I'd

387
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 1: mentor them, i'd upskill them, and then eventually, if they

388
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 1: didn't achieve the way that they thought they should achieve,

389
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: it was somehow my fault, right, Yeah, despite the fact

390
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 1: that they did seventeen podcasts and then gave up and

391
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: I did six hundred podcasts making no money. I'm like,

392
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 1: do you see the difference, right or you know that

393
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: they whatever? And it's it's so funny that like I feel,

394
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 1: what like we've diverged, But I I want to be

395
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: one of my one of my strong values is loyalty.

396
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: And you know that, right, I value loyalty because I've

397
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: had so little of it. I've had it and I

398
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: love it. And there are people that love me then

399
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: I don't even deserve their love, right. But you know

400
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: the amount of people that will genuinely even when you're

401
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: going through a shit, even when you're a pain in

402
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: the ass, you know, like be there, you know, And

403
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 1: because I've you know, without I don't want to fuck

404
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: by the way, I have great friends everyone, and I'm

405
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: very blessed in my life has been awesome. But I've

406
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: had an inordinate amount of people that I really trusted

407
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 1: and loved and value who have kind of done shit

408
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: things and you know the stories, right, They're not little things,

409
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: they're significant things. And so because of that, you know,

410
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: sometimes we learn we can learn from people who are

411
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 1: crap because we can learn how not to be.

412
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

413
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: And it's like people used to say to me when

414
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: they wanted to do work experience for personal training, because

415
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 1: you've got to go and do field work or work experience,

416
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 1: how do I find someone great or how do I

417
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 1: find a great gym? I go just go to any gym,

418
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: and if they're bad, which they might be, you'll learn

419
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 1: how not to be and what not to do. Do

420
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like you can go

421
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: and watch you who are a budding, fledgling, developing professional speaker.

422
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: You can go and watch someone crash and burn and learn.

423
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: You can watch a terrible speaker do a terrible job

424
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 1: and learn five great things. You might learn more than

425
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: watching a genius on stage. Yeah, so you know the cheesy,

426
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: But the world is our classroom and everyone is a

427
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: potential teacher if you look for the lesson.

428
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 2: What gets missed is everyone's selling a system. So we

429
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: think that there's a system and a way and steps

430
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 2: and you know, like doing eight hundred and something conversations

431
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 2: over the last four years. When I started doing podcasting

432
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 2: and knew nothing about what I was doing doing that

433
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 2: with no guidance, no course, no aspirations, I didn't even

434
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 2: know what being a good podcast and meant. But all

435
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: of the attributes and traits and skills, I can't even

436
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 2: articulate them, like it's changed me. And the thing is

437
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: you can't. Everyone wants to know the answers and the

438
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 2: tools and the things, but the value is in other places.

439
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 2: So you can go and find the best personal trainer

440
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 2: maybe in terms of skill set and results, but what

441
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 2: about personneality and interpersonal skills and empathy? And I don't know,

442
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 2: like there's just so many different things that came something.

443
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: Well, I've employed some trainers who were technically brilliant. That is,

444
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 1: they could teach you how to squad, how to deadlift.

445
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 1: They could tell you what muscles were you know, prime movers,

446
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: what were stabilized, is what plane and movement you're in.

447
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,719
Speaker 1: They could talk about micros and macros and you know,

448
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: but they were fucking boring their clients or they didn't

449
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: like they They couldn't build rapport, they couldn't build trust,

450
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: they couldn't build respect, and that's not you know, all

451
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: that other stuff is really good. But you can have

452
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: vast knowledge, but you don't have great people skills. You

453
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: can't you're not intuitive or instinctive. You can't read the rooms,

454
00:27:54,240 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: so to speak. Like and I've opened a lot of

455
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 1: fitness conferences, a lot where I've stood it, and I've

456
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: done the opening keynote, and I'm doing one in fact

457
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: for Ignite Fitness for Male Tempers very soon and I've

458
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 1: done a version of this where I've said, here's what

459
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 1: personal trainers and fitness professionals don't get, you know, and

460
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,919
Speaker 1: that is if you tick all the boxes, but you

461
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: don't create an experience for a client or a member

462
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: where they want to come back, then all the rest

463
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 1: doesn't matter because they ain't coming back. It doesn't matter

464
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,199
Speaker 1: how shiny the dumbbells are, doesn't matter, if you've got

465
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: a million bucks worth of equipment, doesn't matter if you've

466
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 1: got a PhD, doesn't matter if you know functional anatomy

467
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 1: inside out. If they don't enjoy the experience, they don't

468
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: enjoy the culture, they don't enjoy the energy. The rest

469
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 1: is redundant. Now it all matters, But your first priority

470
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: is to one not injure anyone, and then very quickly

471
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: understand the person and within the body. Like you're not

472
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: training a body. You're training a person. You're working with, connecting,

473
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: building rapport and understanding a multi dimensional, complicated person who

474
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: lives in a body. You're not trying to connect with

475
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: their body. You're trying to connect with their soul, with

476
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: their spirit, with their personality, with their energy, with their mind.

477
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: And then you worry about the body, you know.

478
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel the same about that. Like speaker coaches

479
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 2: and when they talk about the tools, the vocal tools

480
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 2: and the like, all of those skills and things that

481
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: the people teach, and I just have a bit of

482
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: an aversion to a lot of them. Well, it takes

483
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 2: away from the fact that it puts the focus on me. Right,

484
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 2: the focus is on me. I'm a speaker. But when

485
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 2: I'm in there in my head and thinking about the

486
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,239
Speaker 2: pitch and the thing, and it's this big reduction and

487
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: I really I think what's important for me and I

488
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 2: would think most speakers, when you hear about their alignment,

489
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: living in alignment and their values, it's about the people

490
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 2: sitting in the audience and learning. Thinking about what pitch

491
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 2: and pace and fucking stance that you have on stage

492
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 2: gives no fucks about the people sitting in the audience.

493
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 2: Who are you? How do you connect with this? What

494
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,239
Speaker 2: does this mean to you? How do I tap into that? Like?

495
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 2: That is way more important.

496
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: And also the thing that formulae don't take into accounts

497
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: is that everybody's individual and what will work for you

498
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: on stage would not work for me. Yeah, it would

499
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: be similar because you and I are similar, but there

500
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: were other people who they thrive where they you know,

501
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 1: a slide, set of slides, powerpoints to videos. I start

502
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: on this bit, I finish on that, and in between

503
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: I do these bits, and then I've got an activity

504
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 1: at the twenty minute mark that goes for three minutes

505
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: and it's very formulaic, and that's okay, but I would

506
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: crash and burn doing that because I would just be

507
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: riffing and then go, fucking hell, I've missed three slides,

508
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: and I've forgot about the video, and I've told four

509
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: dick jokes and fuck, I've only got two minutes left right, Like,

510
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: that doesn't work for me, so we need to It's

511
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: like going, oh, we should all eat the same food. No,

512
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: that's fucking ridiculous, and we shouldn't have the same job,

513
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: and we all shouldn't get married, and we all shouldn't.

514
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: You know. Some people are attracted to men, some are

515
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: attracted to women, some are attracted to both. Some people

516
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: love nuts. Some people fucking die if they eat nuts.

517
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: Some people need a nine to five. Some people should

518
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: have their own business. Some people should lift weights. Some

519
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: people should do more aerobic stuff. Some people need six

520
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: hours sleep, some need nine. Like the idea that there's

521
00:31:55,960 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 1: a single best way to do fucking anything is ridiculous,

522
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: you know, And so it's trying to understand, how do

523
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: I do this thing best? What's my formula, what's my recipe?

524
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: You know? Not like the biggest podcaster in the world

525
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: is Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan has never done one fucking

526
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: workshop on how to be a podcaster. He has never

527
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: had any advice from anyone on how to do it.

528
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: I've never ever done even at five minutes of a

529
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: speaking workshop or course or program where I learned or

530
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: I got taught how to be a speaker. I learned

531
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: how to be a speaker by stepping into the arena

532
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: and being fucking terrible and paying attention and fucking up

533
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: and getting up and fucking up and getting up and

534
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: getting better and getting slightly better and getting metaphorically strangled

535
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: and choked and punched. And then a year in I

536
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,239
Speaker 1: wasn't horrible. I was just bad, and two years I

537
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: was mediocre, and five years in I was okay. You know.

538
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: It's not like, which is not to say nobody should

539
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: do a podcasting course or speak It's not to say

540
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: that It's just to say that these this idea where

541
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 1: there is five steps or three steps or eight steps

542
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: to this outcome for any body or any individual, is

543
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: a wildly flawed, completely unscientific, completely invalid concept. It doesn't

544
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: There's about three things that we all have to do,

545
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: and one of them is breathe right.

546
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: Most of the time that I have done a course

547
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 2: or followed as some sort of a structure, it's put

548
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 2: me out of alignment. You know, when I did an

549
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 2: online coaching course back in I don't know, I think

550
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: it was twenty sixteen, and I hit the ground running.

551
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: It was incredibly successful, but I felt so incredibly out

552
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: of alignment once I launched it, because all I'd done

553
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: was follow a formula, and I was like, this does

554
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 2: a match my values. My values are so much deeper

555
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 2: than this, and I feel like a fraud. And there's

556
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 2: no way I'm going to take money off people and

557
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,240
Speaker 2: do this. Even if they're getting the results they want,

558
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 2: they're not the results I want.

559
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: Hmmm, that's interesting. Well, you and I are similar in that.

560
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: It's like, I mean, I don't know what we're I

561
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: don't know what number podcasts this is, but we're heading

562
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: towards sixteen hundred, and I virtually never promote anything on

563
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: my own show, like That's Mine. Yeah, like maybe ten

564
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: times in sixteen hundred episodes I've promoted a workshop or

565
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 1: I don't like selling things that because I don't want

566
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: people to think, oh, I get it. This is just

567
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: a vehicle FIM to sell his shit to me, because

568
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,320
Speaker 1: it isn't. If it was, I'm fucking terrible at it.

569
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 2: You can get a beanie and a diary online if

570
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: you get a great Carba dot Man, well.

571
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: You can get a beanie. But none of the money

572
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: goes to me. It goes to the Danny Frawley Foundation.

573
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to sell that. I don't take the money. Yeah,

574
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: the money doesn't even go to me. So buy those

575
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 1: motherfuckers out, you know, go to my website. But yeah,

576
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: but I'm happy to sell you. I'm not happy to

577
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 1: sell me because it doesn't look Do I hope people

578
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,399
Speaker 1: will come to my workshops? And of course when we're

579
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: going to launch something, which we are soon, do we

580
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:30,919
Speaker 1: promote it. Yep? But generally I don't. Either I don't

581
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 1: talk about it much on here, or I don't talk

582
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: about it at all. In fact, often Melissa will say

583
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: to me, did you mention that we've got up? No,

584
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about it. And I'll do that

585
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: ten episodes in a row and she'll go her head

586
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: against all. Yeah, She's like, you fuck an idiot. All

587
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: these people are listening, at least tell them we're doing

588
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: a workshop in Brisbane or by the way, everyone, I

589
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: am doing some workshops soon. But that wasn't the reason

590
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: for this. But yeah, I'm with you. I'm very uncomfortable

591
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 1: to do. You know. I've been told by many people,

592
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: like there's been many times I've had seven hundred people

593
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 1: in a room at Deacon and at the end there's

594
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: no sales pitch, and people like, where's the on cell,

595
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: where's the upsell? I go, there isn't one, And they're like,

596
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 1: why I go. That's not the reason for doing this.

597
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 1: This is not a thinly veiled marketing exercise. This is

598
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 1: just a conference where we want to inspire and educate

599
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 1: and inform and hopefully people go away and do all

600
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: some shits. You know, But I'm not getting them here

601
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: for a low ticket price to sell them to a

602
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: higher price fucking thing at the end. And I know that,

603
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: you know, if I'm listening to Alex Hormosy and all

604
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 1: the online sales and marketing people, I'm probably doing the

605
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: wrong thing depending on which lens you're looking through. But

606
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: for my value system, I'm doing the right thing.

607
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 2: Well that's yeah, that's exactly right. We have to be

608
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: driven by how it feels.

609
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: If you said to me, and I've said this before

610
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: four but if I was talking to Josh Pittman, I

611
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: was at Josh, no someone else recently. I saw Josh

612
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: yes day, but I was talking to somebody else yes

613
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: day about this. Anyway, it was like I said, if

614
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: I had the possibility, if I had the option of

615
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: talking at Votaphone Arena tomorrow to ten thousand people for free,

616
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 1: or across the road talking to one hundred people in

617
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: a small venue for ten grand, I would talk at

618
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:36,359
Speaker 1: Votaphone Arena for free. I would love to have ten

619
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 1: thousand people live and do a three hour workshop and

620
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: not sell anything, not have any books, not have any

621
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: T shirts, not promote the podcast, not nothing. Just give

622
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: me ten thousand people that I can connect with, that

623
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: I can invest my energy and my soul into and

624
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: send them on their way. Even if I know that

625
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: they will never spend one sent at craigorg dot com,

626
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 1: rite or whatever. I would That would maybe be the

627
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: highlight of my life to be able to do that. Yeah,

628
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: that's how much I don't what's that?

629
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 2: You not know your own website?

630
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 1: No? No, no, it's Craigharper dot net. I know that,

631
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,760
Speaker 1: you see. Anyway, I feel like we've gone in circles

632
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 1: and it must be time for a chicken filet and

633
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,320
Speaker 1: some broccoli. What are you having for dinner tonight? I

634
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,959
Speaker 1: don't know this is an in appropriate conversation, but I've.

635
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 2: Already had mine. I had some Mediterranean chicken tenderloins.

636
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: Did you cook those or buy those?

637
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 2: Absolutely?

638
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: Not?

639
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,240
Speaker 2: Chef in a box? They are brilliant.

640
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: Chef in a box, speaking.

641
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 2: Of homemade like made by Mick. He's amazing hand delivers

642
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: them and they're delicious.

643
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: Hey, chef in a box, Craig Harper, No pressure, did

644
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: I mention chef in a box? Chef in a box?

645
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: Chef in a box? If I don't get it, at

646
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,760
Speaker 1: least one fucking meal from that? Hey? Now? Am money kidding?

647
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: Am I? Though? Thanks? Tim? Thanks hap see everyone chipping

648
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: a box h