Speaker 1: I'll get a bloody champions. It's Craig Anthony harprov been
Speaker 1: told not to lean too close to the mic. Tiff
Speaker 1: yells at me, Melissa yells at me. Someone else who yelled.
Speaker 1: Patrick yelled at me the other day. Am I too loud, Kate?
Speaker 1: Or am I okay?
Speaker 2: You're good?
Speaker 1: Oh? Thank you? Also I'm an only child and any
Speaker 1: kind of approval is fantastic, So thank you, Kate. Save
Speaker 1: of course our resident dietitian, exose physiologist, business owner, genius.
Speaker 1: Other than that, she does fuck all. Also a wife,
Speaker 1: also a mum, also been on. Telly also works in
Speaker 1: the media here and there. She's a woman about town
Speaker 1: and she's a part of our team. Are you okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm okay. But I am saying a lot of
Speaker 2: people at the moment really having meltdowns because they thought
Speaker 2: that this new year, the Chinese New Year. Have you
Speaker 2: heard people talking about this being the end of the
Speaker 2: snake and they shed and now it's the start of
Speaker 2: the horse and you're stronger and whatever else, And it
Speaker 2: hasn't started yet. But I feel like the turn of
Speaker 2: the year people were thinking just because it turned to
Speaker 2: twenty six instead of twenty five, the whole, everything would change,
Speaker 2: it would all be different, and everyone feels disappointed. You know,
Speaker 2: it's hard right now for everyone.
Speaker 1: It is spoken authorized by Kate's Save.
Speaker 2: It is hard.
Speaker 1: You heard it here first. Well hard.
Speaker 2: You might need more fiber and you might be dehydrated
Speaker 2: the bruttin.
Speaker 1: Next section, next section, you fuck around, you find out
Speaker 1: all that more with Kate Save. Like, I think I
Speaker 1: agree with you. I don't disagree with you, But I
Speaker 1: also think people there are a percentage of people, probably
Speaker 1: a big percentage, who also realize it's not going to
Speaker 1: magically happen. But I think you know, there is a
Speaker 1: group of people who go new year, new mindset, new start,
Speaker 1: new behaviors, new habits. Well, you know, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: If you're not not bad or weak, just normal, whatever
Speaker 1: normal is, you're probably going to run out of motivation
Speaker 1: sometime in the first two weeks of the new year,
Speaker 1: or you're quite likely to. Or excitement or time or
Speaker 1: enthusiasm or whatever it was that created the momentum. I
Speaker 1: think with changing our body health, fitness, wellness, nutrition, optimizing us,
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it is, the challenge is not to
Speaker 1: get and stay motivated. The challenge and I'm sorry listeners,
Speaker 1: you've heard this too many times, but it's new for Kate.
Speaker 1: The challenge is to figure out how can I keep
Speaker 1: doing the work what I need to do to become
Speaker 1: the person I want to become when I don't feel
Speaker 1: like it, because that very human state of I don't
Speaker 1: feel like it. I'm not excited, My back hurt's a
Speaker 1: little bit, I'm a little bit flat, I'm a bit sad.
Speaker 1: My boss is a prick, and the motivation I had
Speaker 1: is gone for now. Anyway, The challenge is not to
Speaker 1: get all of that back. The challenge is to keep
Speaker 1: going with the behaviors in its absence. It's like, as
Speaker 1: you say to all my athletes and clients, I don't
Speaker 1: care what you do when you're in the zone. I
Speaker 1: care what you do when you can't be fucked because
Speaker 1: that capacity to step up when most would give up.
Speaker 1: That's a superpower.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. And the first thing that goes through my head
Speaker 2: when you say that is people are looking for a
Speaker 2: magic pill for whatever, and that is why they go
Speaker 2: so hard at something, and they go the hard way
Speaker 2: is not going to work. Give me the magic pill,
Speaker 2: and hence the weight loss medications that was the first
Speaker 2: thing when you said that, that popped into my head
Speaker 2: as if this will solve all my problems this year.
Speaker 2: And it's not one thing for anything. There's you and
Speaker 2: I talked off air about building your dream house and
Speaker 2: picking the handles and the furnishings. And you think in
Speaker 2: two years, after you've built that house and put every
Speaker 2: little piece of your heart and soul in time, energy
Speaker 2: into picking everything, that the moment you walk in that
Speaker 2: door and you move in, you will have a wonderful life.
Speaker 2: But actually your health is still the same, your job's
Speaker 2: the same, your bank account's probably a lot less.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, I mean I like that analogy
Speaker 1: because so we live in two places, this kind of
Speaker 1: we live in our body, we live in our home.
Speaker 1: But if we asked anyone what's more important, your house
Speaker 1: or your body, everyone's going to say, well, of course
Speaker 1: I can get another house. I can't get another body.
Speaker 1: And again this is not to be a smart us,
Speaker 1: but it's just to say, well, how come you spend
Speaker 1: basically a year thinking about and planning and organizing and
Speaker 1: structuring and timetabling and allocating resources and having conversations and
Speaker 1: doing all of these things to build your best house,
Speaker 1: but you don't spend the day doing all that stuff
Speaker 1: to build your best body, you know. And it's so,
Speaker 1: why not the same way that you get proactive and
Speaker 1: productive and strategic and you know, creative about how you
Speaker 1: build your home. What if you took that thinking and
Speaker 1: what if you know, like your home is a project
Speaker 1: that you're working on. What if you, in fact, what
Speaker 1: if we started a podcast called the You Project. What
Speaker 1: if you were the project? You know? What if your body?
Speaker 1: What if your mind? What if your habits, what if
Speaker 1: your behaviors, what if your exercise routine, what if your
Speaker 1: outcomes and results? What if the plan was built around
Speaker 1: all of those things or the project was focused on
Speaker 1: those things. Like when it comes to our bodies, and
Speaker 1: this is me generalizing everyone, don't get pissed off. It's
Speaker 1: not everyone, but most of us are just emotional when
Speaker 1: it comes to our body because it's where we live,
Speaker 1: and emotions and physiology and psychology you're intertwined. But with
Speaker 1: a house, it's just a thing we're going to build,
Speaker 1: you know. So and yes we do get into emotionally
Speaker 1: intertwined with the place that we live as well, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's trying to how do I deconstruct this. So I'm
Speaker 1: just a lot more realistic and practical about how I
Speaker 1: build my optimal body, knowing that probably in a week
Speaker 1: or two I won't be motivated like I am now,
Speaker 1: which is not bad a week it's normal, it's human.
Speaker 1: How do I navigate that?
Speaker 2: Oh? The first thing I think about there is new
Speaker 2: car feeling or new phone feeling as well, Like you think,
Speaker 2: you get the thing, and that little bit of joy,
Speaker 2: that dopamine, that pleasure, that reward that you have, it
Speaker 2: goes away. And that's how I feel about motivation. You
Speaker 2: have this pumped up energy to do something and then
Speaker 2: it slowly fades. I think the most important thing is habit.
Speaker 2: And I was sitting at a dinner Thursday night, and
Speaker 2: someone next to me said, I'm so interested to see
Speaker 2: what you order for dinner because I'm a dietitian.
Speaker 1: So welcome to it my life and yours. That's the
Speaker 1: one constant, if you're Kate or me, whenever you're in
Speaker 1: a public place eating, somebody wants to if not, somebodies
Speaker 1: want to look at your dinner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I try to pretend like I'm normal.
Speaker 2: I'm picking a normal choice. But Actually my brain is
Speaker 2: thinking about do I need more iron? Then I'll have
Speaker 2: red meat? How long since I go since I last
Speaker 2: had fishure, I haven't had fish a week? Oh no,
Speaker 2: you had tuny yesterday. Oh do I need more a
Speaker 2: mega threet. So my brain does think these things, right,
Speaker 2: it does it very quickly. But I'm never thinking about like,
Speaker 2: I'm not thinking about the calories in the food because
Speaker 2: I actually don't believe calories matter. Calories are not a thing.
Speaker 2: They are a made up thing. Humans put food into
Speaker 2: a bomb calorimeter and you know, burnt it and then
Speaker 2: gave them an equivalent number of calories. I don't believe
Speaker 2: that that has a lot. It's certainly not the number
Speaker 2: one thing when it comes to how food affects our body.
Speaker 2: So I've talked a little bit about this in the past,
Speaker 2: but calories is not a thing that enters my mind.
Speaker 2: I am always thinking nutrients because I know that's what
Speaker 2: my body needs to fuel, and I think macros. I
Speaker 2: do think protein because I know that's what's going to
Speaker 2: attain my muscle, and a bit of collagen in meat
Speaker 2: and you know, animal structures that's going to help my
Speaker 2: face stay up as I grow old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I down, that's right.
Speaker 2: And anyway, so this guy said to me, are you
Speaker 2: going to have chips with your steak? And I said, well,
Speaker 2: if I feel like chips, I will have ten chips.
Speaker 2: He goes, why ten? And I said, look, that's my rule.
Speaker 2: And he goes, what do you mean there's rules? And
Speaker 2: I said, well, that's just a habit that I have.
Speaker 2: I can have chips whenever I want chips. I would
Speaker 2: never not have chips, but I have ten. And he goes, oh,
Speaker 2: what other rules do you have? I've said, well, if
Speaker 2: I have a vanilla slice, I'll have two giant bytes.
Speaker 2: I have a very big mouth, two big big bites,
Speaker 2: and then I'll put the rest in the bin. So
Speaker 2: I had cheesecake for dessert, So what.
Speaker 1: Do I have?
Speaker 2: Two big spoonfuls of the cheesecake and then I don't
Speaker 2: go without anything. But I'd never sit there and fall
Speaker 2: into the trap of the dopamine drift, where just buy
Speaker 2: it after buy it after buy it, like you know
Speaker 2: the food is tricking, you don't fall for it. It's yeah,
Speaker 2: be smarter than the food.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you don't have it.
Speaker 2: You're going to be driven to have it if you
Speaker 2: say I can't have it. I can't have it the
Speaker 2: moment it's put in front of you, you inhaling and
Speaker 2: you don't even remember you ate it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think I think one of the So
Speaker 1: when I say all this stuff I say everyone, I
Speaker 1: feel like I've got to rationalize, you know, just to
Speaker 1: give people context who don't know me. So I did
Speaker 1: over fifty thou pt sessions. I don't say that as
Speaker 1: a brag. It's not a brag. It's just my story.
Speaker 1: It's just where I've been and my staff did over
Speaker 1: twenty five years. Well, I actually don't know, but I
Speaker 1: would think it would be significantly above two million sessions. Right,
Speaker 1: So I've been around hundreds of thousands of people who
Speaker 1: want to look different, feel different, function differently, and I
Speaker 1: put myself. I'm about to throw a group of people
Speaker 1: under the bus, including myself in the group. I think
Speaker 1: the problem that I made, or that the mistake I
Speaker 1: made and many others made and make, is that when
Speaker 1: it comes to exercise and diet and all of these
Speaker 1: things which are relevant to everyone, we are more concerned
Speaker 1: with esthetics and appearance than we are with health and function.
Speaker 1: And so what happens is, and by the way, it's
Speaker 1: an unclimbable hill. So I've worked with many I need
Speaker 1: to be careful, but I've worked with many people, men
Speaker 1: and women who are models, who work in the media,
Speaker 1: who've got high profiles, who are understandably are very aware
Speaker 1: of how they look, and also very aware that the
Speaker 1: better that you look, depending on what scale we use,
Speaker 1: the better that you do sometimes and the you know,
Speaker 1: the more desirability and appeal and marketability. And let's be honest,
Speaker 1: dollars right, So you get taught by our culture. When
Speaker 1: people say looks don't matter, well, I agree with you.
Speaker 1: On a philosophical and a real world and a spiritual level,
Speaker 1: they don't. But in the marketplace they fucking do.
Speaker 2: Oh you look at how they destroy actors that put
Speaker 2: on weight they love putting on the front of magazine.
Speaker 2: Look this is what she look like. Look at her now, Like, yes,
Speaker 2: we do as a society pull.
Speaker 1: People down and yeah, and even down to you know
Speaker 1: people how they look now. Twenty years ago they look
Speaker 1: like this and now look they look like their grandmother.
Speaker 1: And so it's it's fucking horrible and it's nasty. But
Speaker 1: the problem remains, Like I nobody knows who this is
Speaker 1: so I can say it. But I remember training a
Speaker 1: young lady who was a model, and I don't know
Speaker 1: how do we assess, but through my eyes it's like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: this human is about a nine and a half out
Speaker 1: of ten, and I would have put myself as a five, right,
Speaker 1: so this to give some context. And I wasn't terrible
Speaker 1: back in the day. Now I'm a rock solid. Now
Speaker 1: my one and a half, I'm alright with that. But
Speaker 1: when I first met her, I'm like, cheapest, this lady
Speaker 1: is attractive. And we chatted and like, why you're here?
Speaker 1: She goes, oh and stands up and kind of just
Speaker 1: holds her arms out goes, why do you think. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're saying, but it's probably not
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And she thought she was like, this
Speaker 1: is actually what she said. She goes, I'm fucking hidious,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god. You know, obviously body
Speaker 1: dysmorphia and a whole lot of and so it took
Speaker 1: me a long time to help her get in a
Speaker 1: healthy place emotionally and mentally around how she looked, how
Speaker 1: she thought people saw her, evaluated her, rated her, appearance
Speaker 1: and beauty, and yeah, it's so hard. And when you
Speaker 1: grow up in a culture like Owls, which does despite
Speaker 1: what we say, away from the meaningless fucking words, in reality,
Speaker 1: people get advantaged greatly. Sometimes the prettier or more handsome
Speaker 1: they are, right, Well, that teaches you a bad lesson
Speaker 1: because that means as soon as you start to be
Speaker 1: less desirable or attractive or pretty or handsome, you're not
Speaker 1: as valuable, or you're not as good or you're not
Speaker 1: as worthy. And that's that. So people, I know many
Speaker 1: people who have done things which are bad for their health, bad,
Speaker 1: not neutral, bad so that they would look better in
Speaker 1: what you know. So I'm going to do a bad
Speaker 1: thing to my body which is bad for my health
Speaker 1: on a range of levels physical health, but it might
Speaker 1: make people think I'm more attractive, you know, And that
Speaker 1: is I'm not hating on those people. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: that's kind of the world we live in.
Speaker 2: It is, and it is really sad too because even
Speaker 2: once we've done those things to our body, and you
Speaker 2: see all of the people that have done too much
Speaker 2: to their face and it's so disordered, but they think
Speaker 2: it looks better. And that's where you know, there's actually
Speaker 2: a dysregulation between what they're seeing and what everyone else
Speaker 2: is seeing. That strive for perfectionism, whether that is in
Speaker 2: the way you look or in health, is actually not
Speaker 2: good either, because there is no such thing as perfect health.
Speaker 2: That's a scary thing too, because that leads to this
Speaker 2: thinking that there is this one super food, this one routine,
Speaker 2: this one something, and if you blow that out, it's disproportionate,
Speaker 2: when actually our body is so metabolically flexible if we
Speaker 2: are reasonably healthy, so if we try to be healthy,
Speaker 2: our body will compensate for everything else. So trying to
Speaker 2: be perfect is setting yourself up for failure. That'll lead
Speaker 2: to disappointment. I'll be perfect whatever, you know.
Speaker 1: In all the thousands of PT sessions I've done over
Speaker 1: the years, almost nobody like a few, but very few
Speaker 1: people are happy with how they look, no matter how
Speaker 1: much they've changed. So the amount of times when for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, quite often I don't know if it's the
Speaker 1: same because I don't weigh people anymore. But back in
Speaker 1: the day where everyone would get like a monthly or
Speaker 1: six weekly assessment, which would be you know, girth measurements,
Speaker 1: maybe on the scales, maybe but never more than once
Speaker 1: a month, and I'd explain to them what it meant
Speaker 1: and what it didn't mean, you know, so people would
Speaker 1: come in for better or worse. Back in the old days, anyway,
Speaker 1: nearly everyone said I want to lose this much. That's
Speaker 1: why they were there at weight loss. And then they'd
Speaker 1: be like, if I could weigh sixty five kilos, that'd
Speaker 1: be awesome. I'll be so happy. I'd be like, I'd
Speaker 1: be good. If I got sixty five, I would be good.
Speaker 1: Life would be good. I would be happy, I myself
Speaker 1: steam and'd be better. All these things would happen they
Speaker 1: get sixty five kilos. None of that's happened because it
Speaker 1: happened so slowly, and they see themselves every moment and
Speaker 1: they go, oh yeah, but look at this, look at
Speaker 1: that and that bits of their own body and squeeze
Speaker 1: it and show it to me. Right, I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: so what are you thinking? And they'd be like sixty
Speaker 1: Like I go, I reckon, you're going to get sixty
Speaker 1: and tell me fifty five? Oh no, no, no, of
Speaker 1: course that would happen, right, because and this is weird
Speaker 1: and deep and spiritual and philosophical, but I truly believe
Speaker 1: that we humans try and solve psychological and emotional and
Speaker 1: maybe spiritual issues with getting leaner or weighing less or
Speaker 1: looking to so we think that something physical will fix
Speaker 1: something emotional. So you know, it's like my story is,
Speaker 1: I was a big, fat kid, and I mean big,
Speaker 1: and I mean fat, I mean morbally obese. And then
Speaker 1: I lost weight and I got in good shape, and
Speaker 1: then I was basically a runner and I was quite skinny.
Speaker 1: Then I went, yeah, well I'm not fat, which is good,
Speaker 1: but I'm skinny. Chicks don't dig skinny. And I would
Speaker 1: mind us a girlfriend time before I turned thirty, that'd
Speaker 1: be nice. And so then I started lifting weights. And
Speaker 1: then you know, I got to the point where I
Speaker 1: was quite big, quite muscular, quite lean. I was as
Speaker 1: insecure as ever, like my insecurity did not disappear at all.
Speaker 1: And then so there was time where I couldn't be
Speaker 1: lean enough. Then there was a time where I couldn't
Speaker 1: be big enough, and where most people would panic if
Speaker 1: they didn't lose weight, I would panic if I didn't
Speaker 1: gain weight. When I was going through my body phase bodybuilding.
Speaker 2: Phase, is there also a personality shift outwardly. And my
Speaker 2: example of that is I used to see a lot
Speaker 2: of people come through with the bariatric surgeon I was
Speaker 2: working with for weight or surgery, and one particular guy,
Speaker 2: he was a few hundred kilos and anything he tried,
Speaker 2: he was actually one one seventy got up to one eighty.
Speaker 2: We could never get him below really one seventy through
Speaker 2: any other meats, so he decided to have weight loss surgery.
Speaker 2: Not recommending him for anyone, no offense to anyone who's
Speaker 2: had it, but it is life threatening. There's definitely a
Speaker 2: risk for it. And anyway, about two years later, he
Speaker 2: came to tap me on the shoulder and there's this tall,
Speaker 2: big lanky guy and I'm like hi, and he's like
Speaker 2: it's me. Do you remember me? And said he's name
Speaker 2: and I was like, my goodness, Like he was completely unrecognizable.
Speaker 2: So to me, he was a big, funny, happy guy.
Speaker 2: And now he was a really tall, skinny redhead like
Speaker 2: I don't even notice he had red hair, Like he
Speaker 2: was just this completely different person. And I said, wow,
Speaker 2: how do you feel like all that pressure off your joints?
Speaker 2: And are you like how have you done this? You
Speaker 2: walk every day exercising. He goes, oh, I feel a
Speaker 2: bit insecure, and I go, what do you mean? And
Speaker 2: he goes, well, I'm not the funny fat guy. I'm
Speaker 2: just you know, I'm not used to being in this body.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I've never heard anyone like people
Speaker 2: play roles, and you see people in movies where they
Speaker 2: think they're the funny fat person or they are right,
Speaker 2: that's a role in a movie, but then when they're skinny,
Speaker 2: they're like, well, I can't be that person. And that
Speaker 2: personality shift that happened with that and that insecurity. I'm like,
Speaker 2: you're still you, You're still funny. He goes, but I
Speaker 2: don't feel funny like. And I thought that was weird.
Speaker 2: It wasn't just on the outside, it was who he
Speaker 2: thought he had to be and then couldn't be or
Speaker 2: didn't know how to be that anymore.
Speaker 1: So do you want to hear my theory?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So my theory is that we our personality and our
Speaker 1: identity and our sense of self who we are is
Speaker 1: very intertwined with what we look like with our body.
Speaker 1: And so when the big fat guy who always get
Speaker 1: laughs gets last, he's the jolly guy. He's the life
Speaker 1: of the party. It's big bloody Brian again. He's just
Speaker 1: crushing it and he's funny and everyone goes, oh, mate,
Speaker 1: glad you're here and whatever, and then you don't have
Speaker 1: any kind of significant albeit probably not one he wanted,
Speaker 1: but then yeah, you can. It's been interesting for me
Speaker 1: as I've gotten older, getting a much leaner version of me,
Speaker 1: which is good for me, but my ego doesn't like it.
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm skinny, oh no, oh no, my
Speaker 1: ego wants me towagh ninety five and be hard as
Speaker 1: a cat's head and have veins in my fucking eyelids.
Speaker 1: That's what my ego wants, right. But yeah, I'm getting older,
Speaker 1: like I'm still have a fair bit of muscle for
Speaker 1: my age. I'm very lean and all of that. But
Speaker 1: I got on the scales yesterday. Absolute truth. I don't
Speaker 1: even want to say it, but I'm just going to
Speaker 1: say it because it's true. I hope none of my
Speaker 1: main male dude friends are listening. I weighed seventy eight
Speaker 1: point five. Now for me, that is lame.
Speaker 2: Is that really low? Oh?
Speaker 1: That's hysterically low for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say that. I never guessed
Speaker 2: that by.
Speaker 1: Look yeah most yeah, yeah, most of the last ten
Speaker 1: to fifteen years. Eighty five ish and quite lean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been a bit cook lately, so I think that
Speaker 1: hasn't helped. But yeah, and you know, lots on a
Speaker 1: bit of stress and sleeplessness and all that shit. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I my ego doesn't like it. But if you look
Speaker 1: at me in a pair of shorts and a singlet,
Speaker 1: yeah it's compared to some people anyway, I'm in quite
Speaker 1: good shape, right, But yeah, it's like it's funny because
Speaker 1: but I realized this isn't a problem, this is just
Speaker 1: a perception.
Speaker 2: Yes, I had exactly the same conversation with a girlfriend
Speaker 2: who was feeling unsexy, and I'm like, you are, so
Speaker 2: I'm not hitting on her. I have a husband and
Speaker 2: a family. She's so sexy, And I'm like, this is
Speaker 2: You've got to realize this is in your head. You
Speaker 2: have not changed. You need to drop that thought that
Speaker 2: she's like I can't get a boyfriend because I'm not sexy.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my goodness, where did that thought come from.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you just need to watch more. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I taught her to watch some rom coms and some
Speaker 2: funny Netflix things, and there's Younger on Netflix where the
Speaker 2: lady's like forty something, and you know these things that
Speaker 2: make you laugh at yourself. You laugh at the character
Speaker 2: and then you go, oh, I had that thought too.
Speaker 2: That thought's not real. I take yourself so seriously and
Speaker 2: like it's an idea we put in our head. But
Speaker 2: it's not real. Like you said, no one else would
Speaker 2: see that on you, only you.
Speaker 1: And can I tell you a funny story. So when
Speaker 1: I was in my late twenties, had this friend, like
Speaker 1: I was never fucking Brad Pitt, let's be clear, but
Speaker 1: I was always good on the gob right. I could
Speaker 1: talk shit, I can make people laugh. I could build rapport,
Speaker 1: you know, guys and girl girls old and young, you know,
Speaker 1: not necessarily trying to you know, woo anyone, but just
Speaker 1: talking right. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't use the first
Speaker 1: term that came into my mouth. But anyway, I had
Speaker 1: this friend who was stupidly good looking. Stupidly good looking.
Speaker 1: I mean, I love going out with him, but I
Speaker 1: fucking hated it because I was socially invisible, right, I
Speaker 1: was just like the fucking ugly dumb brother. But him
Speaker 1: just good looking, but when he would talk to girls
Speaker 1: like oh my god, shush shush, and he just was
Speaker 1: awkward and clunky and beautiful, like an amazing guy. But
Speaker 1: just one of my other friends said, he's so amazing
Speaker 1: till he talks.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Yep. I've met those guys too. I'm like, oh, bro,
Speaker 1: and I had to. And then he got this. He
Speaker 1: met this girl. They became a thing. I knew her
Speaker 1: quite well and she's like, is he a good dude?
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's great. He's a great dude. He's a
Speaker 1: little bit clunky but clungster on the socializing and that
Speaker 1: She's like, what do you mean. I'm like, ah, she
Speaker 1: will find out. And he was just so keen to
Speaker 1: please yep. And it's such a good dude that it's like, Bro,
Speaker 1: you mose will get a T shirt that says desperate
Speaker 1: all over the front front of it because I know
Speaker 1: that's not your intention, but that's that's the energy you're
Speaker 1: giving off. And ladies aren't attracted to desperate. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: so way, he came over to my joint one day.
Speaker 1: We were hanging out and he was asking me stuff right,
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, tell me how often you call her?
Speaker 1: So mobile phones were out, so it must have been
Speaker 1: I guess late nineties. Tell me how often you phone her?
Speaker 1: And he's like, uh, give me a phone. And it
Speaker 1: was in the arvo. It already called her like ten
Speaker 1: or twelve times. I'm like, Okay, that's not going to work, bro,
Speaker 1: And I said, and if she texts, he would text
Speaker 1: thirteen seconds later back. I might give it a bit
Speaker 1: of a spell, you know, just just I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to be cunning, but I'm like, just try to understand.
Speaker 1: This is my PhD. Try to understand the you experience
Speaker 1: for her. Try to understand what all this. I know
Speaker 1: that you're keen and you want to impress her. That's
Speaker 1: not a thing. That's a good thing, but you also
Speaker 1: need to try to understand that your intention is not
Speaker 1: her experience, and your very good intention might produce a
Speaker 1: very bad experience and outcome. Right, like she might go
Speaker 1: fucking way too needy. I need whatever a manny man
Speaker 1: is that I need one of them, right, So it's that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I've had the we're digressing now, but I've had
Speaker 1: the same thing where not in looks and that, but
Speaker 1: when I would get feedback from students when I talk
Speaker 1: taught academically, and one of the bits feedback was, you know,
Speaker 1: like great, good, we like him, stuff's good, but he's
Speaker 1: kind of scary or is intimidating. And I'm like, ah, first,
Speaker 1: one second, one a third, one oh fourth one oh.
Speaker 1: You know. And out of I don't know, one hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty students in my first year of teaching exercise science,
Speaker 1: like probably more than ten, it wasn't insignificant, like oh,
Speaker 1: what do I do that? Because that is obviously not
Speaker 1: my intention and not my awareness. So I was the problem,
Speaker 1: So they weren't the problem. Like when ten people say
Speaker 1: the same thing, it's definitely got something to do with you.
Speaker 1: But that's part of the whole who am I and
Speaker 1: how am I? For me? And who am I and
Speaker 1: how am I for them? It's like, you know, which
Speaker 1: is why it's called metaperception, which is understanding you for them.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and that kind of insects with all kinds
Speaker 1: of things, even in the health and wellness space, you know,
Speaker 1: like the way that you teach people about nutrition and
Speaker 1: bah blah blah, the way that you teach not what
Speaker 1: you teach, but the way that you teach will be
Speaker 1: way more influential than the contents.
Speaker 2: Makes perfect sense. And I see when you said that.
Speaker 2: I went to an example where I got some feedback
Speaker 2: about my personality that I'm aware of lots of different things.
Speaker 2: And I've said this before. I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
Speaker 2: I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what
Speaker 2: I'm thinking all the time.
Speaker 1: I talk a.
Speaker 2: Lot, and I don't have any body image issues, so
Speaker 2: I need to be super sensitive around everyone else because
Speaker 2: I don't know what they're thinking at that time. So
Speaker 2: I can be really annoying to people that are having
Speaker 2: body image issues. And anyway, this particular male said to me,
Speaker 2: can I let you know you now for I don't
Speaker 2: know a year, and you just come across so cold
Speaker 2: to me. I think you know that you need to
Speaker 2: work on this. I was like cold, and he's like,
Speaker 2: you know, like so cold, And I'm like, is that
Speaker 2: my defense mechanism around men? So I never feel like
Speaker 2: I'm putting myself out there because I'm married and have
Speaker 2: kids and whatever else, Like, I wouldn't think I was
Speaker 2: ever cold. And I was absolutely shocked that this guy
Speaker 2: thought I was so cold.
Speaker 1: Okay, now let me stop you. The question is not
Speaker 1: am I cold? The question is do people perceive me
Speaker 1: as cold? And then the next question is why am
Speaker 1: I intimidating? Well, I guess to some I very much
Speaker 1: try not to be. Are you Do I think, as
Speaker 1: objectively as I can about you, that you're cold? No,
Speaker 1: I've never even never even entered my mind. Do I
Speaker 1: think that some people could see you as that? Well,
Speaker 1: clearly because it's happened. So it's you know, to sorry.
Speaker 1: To take things that are personal about you, to not
Speaker 1: take them personally is very difficult, especially when you know,
Speaker 1: like you're you, You're in the media, your face is
Speaker 1: out and about. You've got a profile, You've got an ego,
Speaker 1: I've got an ego. We all think we're a bit
Speaker 1: better than we are. I think I'm you know, I'm
Speaker 1: I do think you're amazing. By the way, that wasn't
Speaker 1: an insult, but I just think that. I just think that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, of course, you know, like the idea around
Speaker 1: I'll shut up after this, I realize I'm over talking,
Speaker 1: But the idea around you know, needing to be right.
Speaker 1: Like I had a revelation a few years ago and
Speaker 1: it was like, well, of course, I'm wrong. Of course
Speaker 1: I get multiple things wrong. Like how many things have
Speaker 1: I gotten wrong in the past since I was, say,
Speaker 1: a young adult till now, well, probably hundreds of thousands,
Speaker 1: definitely tens of thousands. So why would I think I'm
Speaker 1: right today? Or why would I assume I'm right? I
Speaker 1: might say, well, this is what I think, but I
Speaker 1: could be wrong. You know, if I'm saying two plus
Speaker 1: two is four, I'm sure I'm right. But if I'm
Speaker 1: saying the meaning of life is this, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: So this is what I think about that particular topic
Speaker 1: or question. But could I be completely wrong, yes, Could
Speaker 1: I be a bit right, yes? Could I be totally
Speaker 1: right yes, not likely.
Speaker 2: And I think that whole perception thing of other people
Speaker 2: and how they perceive you. You make me knowing what
Speaker 2: you study and the way that you think. I think, Okay,
Speaker 2: what made them think that? Because it's not necessarily about
Speaker 2: me if I haven't had that feedback from anyone else,
Speaker 2: But what is it about them that makes them think
Speaker 2: that about me? And the way that you talk always
Speaker 2: makes me go oh, it's their experiences that are shaping
Speaker 2: their experience with me, not necess necessarily what I'm.
Speaker 1: Doing Okay, you're exactly right. So for our listeners, a
Speaker 1: really easy way to comprehend this is so all of
Speaker 1: us have been programmed from birth to or whenever. You
Speaker 1: could comprehend anything to listening to this podcast right now.
Speaker 1: You now, as you listen, you've got certain beliefs and
Speaker 1: ideas and values, and maybe theology, maybe philosophy, maybe spirituality.
Speaker 1: You've got certain genetics, you've got a certain body, You've
Speaker 1: got certain friends and family, you went to a certain school,
Speaker 1: You pay attention to certain social media and mainstream media.
Speaker 1: You have ideas and beliefs and biases. All of us do,
Speaker 1: including man Kate. Now, all of that stuff metaphorically forms
Speaker 1: the window through which you observe the world. But the
Speaker 1: problem is there's eight billion windows and they're all different.
Speaker 1: So Kate's window is not mine. So Kate thinks that
Speaker 1: she's looking at something objectively when she is not. She
Speaker 1: is looking through a lifetime of programming and conditioning and
Speaker 1: labeling and storytelling. So Kate sees not the thing, but
Speaker 1: rather her version of the thing, as does Craig. So
Speaker 1: if you want to go, well, how the fuck do
Speaker 1: we Well? Can we be objective? No, we can't. There's
Speaker 1: a little bit of an exception. But no, we can't
Speaker 1: be objective because everything we look at we're looking through
Speaker 1: our lens, so we see our version of what is right.
Speaker 1: But then the next question is, or the next perhaps
Speaker 1: part this is how do I be more evolved in
Speaker 1: this space? How do I open the door to real
Speaker 1: awareness and real consciousness? Like taking a step up the
Speaker 1: consciousness ladder is realizing that I am a miss a
Speaker 1: world inside a macro world. So my world is my thoughts,
Speaker 1: my ideas, my beliefs, my values, my biology, physiology, you know,
Speaker 1: my genetics. Like that's the world that I live in.
Speaker 1: I live on planet, Craig, and everything else is another
Speaker 1: you know, planet or star kind of circulating around me
Speaker 1: or weigh from me. And so it's understanding that now, Craig,
Speaker 1: you don't see the world objectively because you're not objective.
Speaker 1: Everything that you look at is a subjective interpretation or
Speaker 1: a subjective experience. So the closest that we can get
Speaker 1: to objectivity is not real, but it's closer is when
Speaker 1: Kate tells me something about something I've never heard of,
Speaker 1: I don't understand. I don't have a preconceived idea, I
Speaker 1: don't have any opinion, and she starts to tell me
Speaker 1: about this area that she has a lot of knowledge
Speaker 1: in and I have none, you know, but I might
Speaker 1: have a pre conceived idea that Kate's full of shit.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, this is all bullshit, you know. So,
Speaker 1: but it's an interesting area of the human experience to
Speaker 1: open the door.
Speaker 2: On it is very much so, very much so.
Speaker 1: And also also just for you, I know, I talk
Speaker 1: too much. Apologize everyone like you understanding how other people think.
Speaker 1: Like you've got business partners if not, yeah, you have,
Speaker 1: and employees and friends, and you've got to you've got
Speaker 1: to make deals. You've got to sell products. You've got
Speaker 1: to navigate conversations and meetings and problem solving and conflict resolution.
Speaker 1: You've got to build connection, rapport, trust, respect with people. Now,
Speaker 1: the superpower in there is knowing how they think. Because
Speaker 1: if you know how they think, then you know how
Speaker 1: to talk. You know their language, you know their reference points,
Speaker 1: you understand their cognitive landscape. You understand what they think
Speaker 1: and maybe what they're seeing. And in science, that's or
Speaker 1: in psychology that's theory of mind, and that yeah, that's
Speaker 1: just when you start to think more about how they
Speaker 1: think than what you think. Then you can really go
Speaker 1: to another level.
Speaker 2: And I love that too because I think it throws
Speaker 2: all of the business jargon that's in business books on
Speaker 2: its head a little bit too. Because every single person
Speaker 2: you employ, supplier relationship, or anyone in business that you
Speaker 2: deal with you there is no specific way to deal
Speaker 2: with it. There is no textbook way of exactly what
Speaker 2: you need to do and say and the dot points
Speaker 2: that you will learn about in business, because it actually
Speaker 2: comes down to the relationship you can build with the individual.
Speaker 2: Nothing else matters. If you can't build the relationship with
Speaker 2: the individual, it probably doesn't matter how good your product is,
Speaker 2: because at some point in time, someone else is going
Speaker 2: to come along that builds a stronger a life relationship,
Speaker 2: and that human at the end of the day has
Speaker 2: emotions that will be pulled in another direction. So I
Speaker 2: always focus on building the relationships because even if that
Speaker 2: you don't do the deal in the organization this person
Speaker 2: is in today, wherever they go next, they will think
Speaker 2: of you and you will be top of mind. I
Speaker 2: think even with employees, no matter what happens, if it
Speaker 2: doesn't work out, I always try my very best to
Speaker 2: keep the relationship, and if there is a ugly exit,
Speaker 2: then try and repair the relationship because something is about
Speaker 2: an objective thing at work. Maybe it's a mistake, a
Speaker 2: seventy thousand dollars double spreadsheet mistake, and I'm very forgiving.
Speaker 2: I've had lots of these things over the years. However,
Speaker 2: when you repeat those mistakes several times, I don't dislike
Speaker 2: you as a person. I think you have many incredible qualities,
Speaker 2: but this role no longer suits you, and we don't
Speaker 2: have other roles. So I am so careful with every
Speaker 2: relationship for everyone I meet, because I find that the
Speaker 2: world goes around and you come across them again, or
Speaker 2: you work with their husband or their wife, or their
Speaker 2: brother or sister, or whoever it might be. And that
Speaker 2: is the number one thing that I think I've learned
Speaker 2: in business over the last twenty something years, is to
Speaker 2: work on your relationships more so than anything else. Yeah,
Speaker 2: before you sell, before you whatever you're doing.
Speaker 1: Well, Unlike you. There are people that I don't like.
Speaker 1: I'm like now, but I don't tell them that, and
Speaker 1: I don't think they're necessarily bad people. I just don't
Speaker 1: want them in my life. I wouldn't be mean to them.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't run them down. In fact, if I could
Speaker 1: help them get ahead inside, I would. But there are
Speaker 1: just people that I go, I don't want you in
Speaker 1: my life. I wish you all the best, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to spend time talking to you, or don't
Speaker 1: want to hang out with you. I don't respect the
Speaker 1: way that you think. Or it's like, oh whatever, there's
Speaker 1: just shit chemistry or but that's okay. And I'm absolutely
Speaker 1: positive there are people who feel the same about me,
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm completely cool. I'm like, of course, like
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't like me, and I fucking am me.
Speaker 1: So I don't blame you. And I also know that
Speaker 1: my personality and my directness and my bluntness ain't for everyone,
Speaker 1: and I get it, you know. And that I had
Speaker 1: a session the other day. I can't say much, but
Speaker 1: it was with a new coaching client, a corporate coaching client.
Speaker 1: And you know these sessions that companies pay for that
Speaker 1: it's not like a dollar fifty session, like they're not
Speaker 1: giving this well, let's be honest, I'm not giving it away, right,
Speaker 1: So So anyway, I met with this person and they're
Speaker 1: like it was on zoom and Firstly, they weren't keen
Speaker 1: to do it at all. They weren't keen and they
Speaker 1: said that, and I didn't blame them because it wasn't
Speaker 1: about me. I could have been that never met me
Speaker 1: and anyway showed up and we're like, I'm like, let's
Speaker 1: just go with Champ. I might get a champ. What's
Speaker 1: going on? Had to chat and a lot of people like, oh,
Speaker 1: how does this work? Do you do a disc profile?
Speaker 1: Do you to do a personality? Do you send me shit?
Speaker 1: I fill out twenty pages of shit, I send you back,
Speaker 1: you analyze that. I send it back, You analyze the shit,
Speaker 1: then you come up with it. I go fuck all that.
Speaker 1: That is way too hard and I'm too lazy. And
Speaker 1: the person's like, oh, what do we do? I go,
Speaker 1: will you talk to me? Then I talk to you,
Speaker 1: and then you talk back, then I talk back. We
Speaker 1: do that for an hour and then we kind of
Speaker 1: fuck off, you know, and you might go this is good.
Speaker 1: I like it and we'll do another one, or you
Speaker 1: might go not for me and we won't do another one.
Speaker 1: Has that and they're like that's great. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not the arm twister. Well, firstly, if you don't
Speaker 1: like me, I want to be coached by me. That's fine. Also,
Speaker 1: I don't want to coach you if you don't want
Speaker 1: to be coached. And I understand that. So we did
Speaker 1: an hour and that dude and by the way, hand
Speaker 1: on heart, just a good guy. It doesn't matter, no
Speaker 1: one knows who is. I like him, I actually really
Speaker 1: like him. And I'm like, this dude could be my friend.
Speaker 2: You know, I know what the difference is. When I
Speaker 2: said build relationships, she went to or I don't like everyone.
Speaker 2: I didn't say I like them. It's connecting, That's what
Speaker 2: it is. It's right.
Speaker 1: How do you.
Speaker 2: Build a human connection? And there are many people that
Speaker 2: think they have nothing in common with me whatsoever. My
Speaker 2: challenge when I meet someone is to find a human connection.
Speaker 2: Whether it's we both have cat, our mums both died,
Speaker 2: we both had kids, we both had a natural birth.
Speaker 2: Who knows what it is, but there will be a
Speaker 2: human connection where you connect, and it doesn't mean you
Speaker 2: have to like the person, but once you've got that connection,
Speaker 2: So maybe relationship is not the same word, but yeah,
Speaker 2: my challenge, no matter who it is, is to build
Speaker 2: a connection. And sometimes you know you have that instant
Speaker 2: where people you feel like your hairs prick up and
Speaker 2: they're not your person. That's the person that I really
Speaker 2: try and find a human connection with, because I think
Speaker 2: that's the challenge for me is we are all human
Speaker 2: and on some level we will have something in common.
Speaker 2: Don't know what that is, and when you find that,
Speaker 2: you actually unlock the key to communication for whatever it
Speaker 2: is you need to do or get from this person,
Speaker 2: you can communicate better. But if unlocking that.
Speaker 1: Connection, I will also say, just quickly, like there's been
Speaker 1: lots of people I've worked with over the years that
Speaker 1: I didn't really like them, and eventually I actually liked them.
Speaker 1: So was I the problem? Yeah? Like sometimes of course,
Speaker 1: like I can't go, we don't get on. Here's the problem.
Speaker 1: I'm not the problem. Ah, that's just your ego champ,
Speaker 1: you know. And sometimes there wasn't really a problem, just
Speaker 1: like I don't you know, like there are people that
Speaker 1: I need to spend time around because of my job,
Speaker 1: because of my work, because of a situation, because of
Speaker 1: a circumstance, because of a some kind of commitment I've got.
Speaker 1: That's cool. They would not know I didn't like them,
Speaker 1: and I would never express that, but then where you go, well,
Speaker 1: this is kind of not work, this is no, this
Speaker 1: is just my life over here. This is me and
Speaker 1: do I no, don't you know? But when I see
Speaker 1: that person, I would tend to be a good version
Speaker 1: of me if I could. I've got a jam. We
Speaker 1: still didn't talk about what we're going to talk about,
Speaker 1: but we'll come back. Kate and I are going to
Speaker 1: come back. I'll say this now so you know. And
Speaker 1: we did a good I think we did a good
Speaker 1: job last time talking about strength training and being in
Speaker 1: the gym and all of that, but we didn't really
Speaker 1: remember both of us qualified in the exo science slash
Speaker 1: physiology space. But we didn't talk about cardio much. So
Speaker 1: we're going to We're going to regroup and not get
Speaker 1: distracted as I always caused us to get distracted, and
Speaker 1: we'll unpack our thoughts around the how's, whis, why not,
Speaker 1: what to do? What not to do? Benefits and not
Speaker 1: just physical but of cardio so hard stuff. Is that
Speaker 1: all right with you? Miss?
Speaker 2: Sounds great looking forward to it.
Speaker 1: Do you want to give people a heads up? Tell
Speaker 1: people about beefit foods where they can get them. By
Speaker 1: the way, I'm not saying this because I it's great
Speaker 1: beefit food stuff great, great and from me, and I
Speaker 1: hate doing ads, So this is not an ad. This
Speaker 1: is a report. This is a review. All the macros
Speaker 1: and micro is fucking amazing for And I'm a person
Speaker 1: who is very active in trains. Every day I have
Speaker 1: one of the meals, I have one of the range,
Speaker 1: and I'm nearly every time I'm good. I may need
Speaker 1: a little something, depends on what I've done in the
Speaker 1: day and what I ate through the day. But yeah, amazing,
Speaker 1: high quality, not expensive. Where can they get.
Speaker 2: Them beefitfood dot com And are you on our website
Speaker 2: online chemist Warehouse stores. We're in twenty eight and we've
Speaker 2: got thirty nine new stores contracted that should roll out
Speaker 2: through and IDAs and Riches. And on that thought that
Speaker 2: someone said to me about price the other day, So
Speaker 2: why would I pay that for eggs? And I said, well,
Speaker 2: our eggs has four egg whites, two egg yolks, plus
Speaker 2: you know your bit of edgies, bacon Cherusa, whatever you're having,
Speaker 2: they're like four e gosh, that's expensive. Rall you make
Speaker 2: it relative to your food shop these days and not
Speaker 2: having to prep it, it's not as expensive, and every
Speaker 2: meal's got twenty to thirty grams of protein minimum, so
Speaker 2: it's a good way to hit your protein targets.
Speaker 1: Sure is, You're the best kite save. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Friends and family, Thank you so much. We will be
Speaker 1: back sometime in the future. Over and out from the
Speaker 1: You Project.