WEBVTT - #2101 Building A Life On Purpose - Kate Save 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:03.240 I'll get a bloody champions. It's Craig Anthony harprov been 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:05.800 told not to lean too close to the mic. Tiff 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:09.440 yells at me, Melissa yells at me. Someone else who yelled. 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:12.440 Patrick yelled at me the other day. Am I too loud, Kate? 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:13.399 Or am I okay? 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:14.800 You're good? 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:18.880 Oh? Thank you? Also I'm an only child and any 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:22.599 kind of approval is fantastic, So thank you, Kate. Save 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:28.440 of course our resident dietitian, exose physiologist, business owner, genius. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.800 Other than that, she does fuck all. Also a wife, 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:34.839 also a mum, also been on. Telly also works in 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:38.760 the media here and there. She's a woman about town 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:41.960 and she's a part of our team. Are you okay? 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:45.120 Yeah, I'm okay. But I am saying a lot of 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:48.960 people at the moment really having meltdowns because they thought 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:52.640 that this new year, the Chinese New Year. Have you 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:55.840 heard people talking about this being the end of the 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:59.320 snake and they shed and now it's the start of 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:02.560 the horse and you're stronger and whatever else, And it 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:07.160 hasn't started yet. But I feel like the turn of 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:11.039 the year people were thinking just because it turned to 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.160 twenty six instead of twenty five, the whole, everything would change, 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:18.360 it would all be different, and everyone feels disappointed. You know, 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.399 it's hard right now for everyone. 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:24.200 It is spoken authorized by Kate's Save. 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:25.080 It is hard. 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.840 You heard it here first. Well hard. 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.480 You might need more fiber and you might be dehydrated 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:31.520 the bruttin. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.880 Next section, next section, you fuck around, you find out 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:40.080 all that more with Kate Save. Like, I think I 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.280 agree with you. I don't disagree with you, But I 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:45.880 also think people there are a percentage of people, probably 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.400 a big percentage, who also realize it's not going to 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.800 magically happen. But I think you know, there is a 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.880 group of people who go new year, new mindset, new start, 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:59.160 new behaviors, new habits. Well, you know, here's the thing. 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:02.720 If you're not not bad or weak, just normal, whatever 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:05.880 normal is, you're probably going to run out of motivation 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:08.440 sometime in the first two weeks of the new year, 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:13.120 or you're quite likely to. Or excitement or time or 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:17.040 enthusiasm or whatever it was that created the momentum. I 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:22.359 think with changing our body health, fitness, wellness, nutrition, optimizing us, 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.560 whatever the fuck it is, the challenge is not to 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:28.880 get and stay motivated. The challenge and I'm sorry listeners, 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.480 you've heard this too many times, but it's new for Kate. 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:35.560 The challenge is to figure out how can I keep 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.280 doing the work what I need to do to become 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:41.040 the person I want to become when I don't feel 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:44.560 like it, because that very human state of I don't 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:47.799 feel like it. I'm not excited, My back hurt's a 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:50.040 little bit, I'm a little bit flat, I'm a bit sad. 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:53.239 My boss is a prick, and the motivation I had 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:56.640 is gone for now. Anyway, The challenge is not to 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:59.040 get all of that back. The challenge is to keep 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:03.959 going with the behaviors in its absence. It's like, as 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.320 you say to all my athletes and clients, I don't 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:08.480 care what you do when you're in the zone. I 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:11.160 care what you do when you can't be fucked because 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:15.519 that capacity to step up when most would give up. 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:17.200 That's a superpower. 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.320 Absolutely. And the first thing that goes through my head 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.560 when you say that is people are looking for a 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:27.520 magic pill for whatever, and that is why they go 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:30.119 so hard at something, and they go the hard way 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.840 is not going to work. Give me the magic pill, 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:37.080 and hence the weight loss medications that was the first 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:39.160 thing when you said that, that popped into my head 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:42.120 as if this will solve all my problems this year. 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:46.880 And it's not one thing for anything. There's you and 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.360 I talked off air about building your dream house and 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:54.560 picking the handles and the furnishings. And you think in 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:57.680 two years, after you've built that house and put every 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.480 little piece of your heart and soul in time, energy 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.880 into picking everything, that the moment you walk in that 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:07.440 door and you move in, you will have a wonderful life. 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:12.400 But actually your health is still the same, your job's 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.120 the same, your bank account's probably a lot less. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:20.360 I don't know. Well, I mean I like that analogy 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:24.120 because so we live in two places, this kind of 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:26.400 we live in our body, we live in our home. 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:31.000 But if we asked anyone what's more important, your house 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:34.000 or your body, everyone's going to say, well, of course 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.720 I can get another house. I can't get another body. 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:39.440 And again this is not to be a smart us, 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:42.640 but it's just to say, well, how come you spend 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:46.000 basically a year thinking about and planning and organizing and 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:51.240 structuring and timetabling and allocating resources and having conversations and 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:54.080 doing all of these things to build your best house, 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:59.000 but you don't spend the day doing all that stuff 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.760 to build your best body, you know. And it's so, 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:05.480 why not the same way that you get proactive and 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:10.839 productive and strategic and you know, creative about how you 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.800 build your home. What if you took that thinking and 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:15.839 what if you know, like your home is a project 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:18.919 that you're working on. What if you, in fact, what 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:22.040 if we started a podcast called the You Project. What 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:25.200 if you were the project? You know? What if your body? 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:27.480 What if your mind? What if your habits, what if 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:31.960 your behaviors, what if your exercise routine, what if your 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:36.200 outcomes and results? What if the plan was built around 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:39.359 all of those things or the project was focused on 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:42.680 those things. Like when it comes to our bodies, and 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.520 this is me generalizing everyone, don't get pissed off. It's 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:49.720 not everyone, but most of us are just emotional when 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.080 it comes to our body because it's where we live, 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:58.240 and emotions and physiology and psychology you're intertwined. But with 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:00.320 a house, it's just a thing we're going to build, 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:03.840 you know. So and yes we do get into emotionally 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:07.760 intertwined with the place that we live as well, but yeah, 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:11.080 it's trying to how do I deconstruct this. So I'm 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:14.200 just a lot more realistic and practical about how I 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:18.160 build my optimal body, knowing that probably in a week 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:20.640 or two I won't be motivated like I am now, 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:23.000 which is not bad a week it's normal, it's human. 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:24.440 How do I navigate that? 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:27.360 Oh? The first thing I think about there is new 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:30.559 car feeling or new phone feeling as well, Like you think, 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.760 you get the thing, and that little bit of joy, 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:36.240 that dopamine, that pleasure, that reward that you have, it 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.880 goes away. And that's how I feel about motivation. You 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:43.440 have this pumped up energy to do something and then 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:47.920 it slowly fades. I think the most important thing is habit. 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:51.479 And I was sitting at a dinner Thursday night, and 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.640 someone next to me said, I'm so interested to see 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:57.880 what you order for dinner because I'm a dietitian. 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:02.360 So welcome to it my life and yours. That's the 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:05.480 one constant, if you're Kate or me, whenever you're in 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:09.760 a public place eating, somebody wants to if not, somebodies 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:10.800 want to look at your dinner. 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:15.120 Yeah, And so I try to pretend like I'm normal. 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:18.240 I'm picking a normal choice. But Actually my brain is 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:21.640 thinking about do I need more iron? Then I'll have 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:25.120 red meat? How long since I go since I last 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:26.840 had fishure, I haven't had fish a week? Oh no, 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:28.960 you had tuny yesterday. Oh do I need more a 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:31.160 mega threet. So my brain does think these things, right, 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:37.520 it does it very quickly. But I'm never thinking about like, 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:39.760 I'm not thinking about the calories in the food because 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:42.520 I actually don't believe calories matter. Calories are not a thing. 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:46.000 They are a made up thing. Humans put food into 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:49.200 a bomb calorimeter and you know, burnt it and then 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:53.080 gave them an equivalent number of calories. I don't believe 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.640 that that has a lot. It's certainly not the number 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.440 one thing when it comes to how food affects our body. 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.840 So I've talked a little bit about this in the past, 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.360 but calories is not a thing that enters my mind. 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:08.520 I am always thinking nutrients because I know that's what 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:12.160 my body needs to fuel, and I think macros. I 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:15.160 do think protein because I know that's what's going to 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:19.160 attain my muscle, and a bit of collagen in meat 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:22.200 and you know, animal structures that's going to help my 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:23.960 face stay up as I grow old. 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:28.960 Yeah, yeah, I down, that's right. 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:31.800 And anyway, so this guy said to me, are you 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.920 going to have chips with your steak? And I said, well, 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.440 if I feel like chips, I will have ten chips. 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.559 He goes, why ten? And I said, look, that's my rule. 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:42.640 And he goes, what do you mean there's rules? And 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:44.600 I said, well, that's just a habit that I have. 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.240 I can have chips whenever I want chips. I would 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:50.439 never not have chips, but I have ten. And he goes, oh, 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:53.040 what other rules do you have? I've said, well, if 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:55.960 I have a vanilla slice, I'll have two giant bytes. 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:58.760 I have a very big mouth, two big big bites, 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.160 and then I'll put the rest in the bin. So 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.120 I had cheesecake for dessert, So what. 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:03.400 Do I have? 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:07.040 Two big spoonfuls of the cheesecake and then I don't 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:10.120 go without anything. But I'd never sit there and fall 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:15.520 into the trap of the dopamine drift, where just buy 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:18.080 it after buy it after buy it, like you know 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:23.960 the food is tricking, you don't fall for it. It's yeah, 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:25.520 be smarter than the food. 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:29.360 Yeah, yeah, you don't have it. 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:31.280 You're going to be driven to have it if you 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:33.400 say I can't have it. I can't have it the 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:35.360 moment it's put in front of you, you inhaling and 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:36.760 you don't even remember you ate it. 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:43.719 Yeah, yeah, I think I think one of the So 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:45.679 when I say all this stuff I say everyone, I 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:48.760 feel like I've got to rationalize, you know, just to 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:51.439 give people context who don't know me. So I did 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:54.640 over fifty thou pt sessions. I don't say that as 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:56.559 a brag. It's not a brag. It's just my story. 0:09:56.600 --> 0:10:00.360 It's just where I've been and my staff did over 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.040 twenty five years. Well, I actually don't know, but I 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:07.120 would think it would be significantly above two million sessions. Right, 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:11.760 So I've been around hundreds of thousands of people who 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:16.040 want to look different, feel different, function differently, and I 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:18.280 put myself. I'm about to throw a group of people 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:22.400 under the bus, including myself in the group. I think 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.800 the problem that I made, or that the mistake I 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:31.400 made and many others made and make, is that when 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:34.600 it comes to exercise and diet and all of these 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:38.959 things which are relevant to everyone, we are more concerned 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.920 with esthetics and appearance than we are with health and function. 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:47.079 And so what happens is, and by the way, it's 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:54.400 an unclimbable hill. So I've worked with many I need 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:57.400 to be careful, but I've worked with many people, men 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:01.360 and women who are models, who work in the media, 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:07.079 who've got high profiles, who are understandably are very aware 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.120 of how they look, and also very aware that the 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.640 better that you look, depending on what scale we use, 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.679 the better that you do sometimes and the you know, 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:20.360 the more desirability and appeal and marketability. And let's be honest, 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:23.240 dollars right, So you get taught by our culture. When 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:26.280 people say looks don't matter, well, I agree with you. 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.120 On a philosophical and a real world and a spiritual level, 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:31.600 they don't. But in the marketplace they fucking do. 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.760 Oh you look at how they destroy actors that put 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:37.320 on weight they love putting on the front of magazine. 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:40.760 Look this is what she look like. Look at her now, Like, yes, 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.120 we do as a society pull. 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:48.920 People down and yeah, and even down to you know 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.719 people how they look now. Twenty years ago they look 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.040 like this and now look they look like their grandmother. 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:57.680 And so it's it's fucking horrible and it's nasty. But 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:03.360 the problem remains, Like I nobody knows who this is 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:06.040 so I can say it. But I remember training a 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:12.000 young lady who was a model, and I don't know 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:18.240 how do we assess, but through my eyes it's like, okay, well, 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.080 this human is about a nine and a half out 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:24.800 of ten, and I would have put myself as a five, right, 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.920 so this to give some context. And I wasn't terrible 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.240 back in the day. Now I'm a rock solid. Now 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:32.480 my one and a half, I'm alright with that. But 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:38.640 when I first met her, I'm like, cheapest, this lady 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.840 is attractive. And we chatted and like, why you're here? 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.080 She goes, oh and stands up and kind of just 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:48.080 holds her arms out goes, why do you think. I'm like, 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.000 I don't know what you're saying, but it's probably not 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:57.240 what I'm saying. And she thought she was like, this 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.960 is actually what she said. She goes, I'm fucking hidious, 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.439 And I'm like, oh my god. You know, obviously body 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:06.880 dysmorphia and a whole lot of and so it took 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:11.360 me a long time to help her get in a 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:16.720 healthy place emotionally and mentally around how she looked, how 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:23.520 she thought people saw her, evaluated her, rated her, appearance 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:28.400 and beauty, and yeah, it's so hard. And when you 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:33.000 grow up in a culture like Owls, which does despite 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:38.640 what we say, away from the meaningless fucking words, in reality, 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:43.280 people get advantaged greatly. Sometimes the prettier or more handsome 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.840 they are, right, Well, that teaches you a bad lesson 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.480 because that means as soon as you start to be 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:53.240 less desirable or attractive or pretty or handsome, you're not 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:55.320 as valuable, or you're not as good or you're not 0:13:55.360 --> 0:14:01.040 as worthy. And that's that. So people, I know many 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.120 people who have done things which are bad for their health, bad, 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:08.839 not neutral, bad so that they would look better in 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:11.640 what you know. So I'm going to do a bad 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:15.800 thing to my body which is bad for my health 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:19.680 on a range of levels physical health, but it might 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:22.440 make people think I'm more attractive, you know, And that 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.520 is I'm not hating on those people. I'm just saying 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:27.880 that's kind of the world we live in. 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.760 It is, and it is really sad too because even 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.320 once we've done those things to our body, and you 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:37.080 see all of the people that have done too much 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:40.960 to their face and it's so disordered, but they think 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:44.440 it looks better. And that's where you know, there's actually 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:48.160 a dysregulation between what they're seeing and what everyone else 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:53.440 is seeing. That strive for perfectionism, whether that is in 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.040 the way you look or in health, is actually not 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.320 good either, because there is no such thing as perfect health. 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:05.160 That's a scary thing too, because that leads to this 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.920 thinking that there is this one super food, this one routine, 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:15.880 this one something, and if you blow that out, it's disproportionate, 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:20.880 when actually our body is so metabolically flexible if we 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:24.920 are reasonably healthy, so if we try to be healthy, 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:28.600 our body will compensate for everything else. So trying to 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:33.120 be perfect is setting yourself up for failure. That'll lead 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:37.680 to disappointment. I'll be perfect whatever, you know. 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.840 In all the thousands of PT sessions I've done over 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:47.560 the years, almost nobody like a few, but very few 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:54.280 people are happy with how they look, no matter how 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:59.280 much they've changed. So the amount of times when for 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.480 whatever reason, quite often I don't know if it's the 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.000 same because I don't weigh people anymore. But back in 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:07.320 the day where everyone would get like a monthly or 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:12.160 six weekly assessment, which would be you know, girth measurements, 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.720 maybe on the scales, maybe but never more than once 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:19.880 a month, and I'd explain to them what it meant 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.760 and what it didn't mean, you know, so people would 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:26.640 come in for better or worse. Back in the old days, anyway, 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.040 nearly everyone said I want to lose this much. That's 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.920 why they were there at weight loss. And then they'd 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.320 be like, if I could weigh sixty five kilos, that'd 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:40.040 be awesome. I'll be so happy. I'd be like, I'd 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.160 be good. If I got sixty five, I would be good. 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:45.640 Life would be good. I would be happy, I myself 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.200 steam and'd be better. All these things would happen they 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.960 get sixty five kilos. None of that's happened because it 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:55.800 happened so slowly, and they see themselves every moment and 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:59.080 they go, oh yeah, but look at this, look at 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:02.160 that and that bits of their own body and squeeze 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.560 it and show it to me. Right, I'm like, all right, 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:07.680 so what are you thinking? And they'd be like sixty 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.400 Like I go, I reckon, you're going to get sixty 0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:14.119 and tell me fifty five? Oh no, no, no, of 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.880 course that would happen, right, because and this is weird 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:22.040 and deep and spiritual and philosophical, but I truly believe 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:28.800 that we humans try and solve psychological and emotional and 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:35.520 maybe spiritual issues with getting leaner or weighing less or 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:38.800 looking to so we think that something physical will fix 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:42.919 something emotional. So you know, it's like my story is, 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:46.120 I was a big, fat kid, and I mean big, 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:48.639 and I mean fat, I mean morbally obese. And then 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:50.480 I lost weight and I got in good shape, and 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:53.000 then I was basically a runner and I was quite skinny. 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:55.480 Then I went, yeah, well I'm not fat, which is good, 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.760 but I'm skinny. Chicks don't dig skinny. And I would 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.920 mind us a girlfriend time before I turned thirty, that'd 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:06.000 be nice. And so then I started lifting weights. And 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:09.000 then you know, I got to the point where I 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:13.320 was quite big, quite muscular, quite lean. I was as 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:18.920 insecure as ever, like my insecurity did not disappear at all. 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:22.800 And then so there was time where I couldn't be 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:24.720 lean enough. Then there was a time where I couldn't 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:29.000 be big enough, and where most people would panic if 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:33.919 they didn't lose weight, I would panic if I didn't 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:38.000 gain weight. When I was going through my body phase bodybuilding. 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:43.000 Phase, is there also a personality shift outwardly. And my 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.520 example of that is I used to see a lot 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:48.600 of people come through with the bariatric surgeon I was 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:52.639 working with for weight or surgery, and one particular guy, 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:58.479 he was a few hundred kilos and anything he tried, 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.919 he was actually one one seventy got up to one eighty. 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:07.240 We could never get him below really one seventy through 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:10.200 any other meats, so he decided to have weight loss surgery. 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:13.560 Not recommending him for anyone, no offense to anyone who's 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:17.119 had it, but it is life threatening. There's definitely a 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:21.879 risk for it. And anyway, about two years later, he 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:24.080 came to tap me on the shoulder and there's this tall, 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:28.960 big lanky guy and I'm like hi, and he's like 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:31.600 it's me. Do you remember me? And said he's name 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:36.800 and I was like, my goodness, Like he was completely unrecognizable. 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:41.560 So to me, he was a big, funny, happy guy. 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:46.840 And now he was a really tall, skinny redhead like 0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:49.399 I don't even notice he had red hair, Like he 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:53.960 was just this completely different person. And I said, wow, 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:57.080 how do you feel like all that pressure off your joints? 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.679 And are you like how have you done this? You 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:02.679 walk every day exercising. He goes, oh, I feel a 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:04.800 bit insecure, and I go, what do you mean? And 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:07.960 he goes, well, I'm not the funny fat guy. I'm 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.840 just you know, I'm not used to being in this body. 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:15.800 And I was like, I've never heard anyone like people 0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:19.160 play roles, and you see people in movies where they 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:21.560 think they're the funny fat person or they are right, 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:25.280 that's a role in a movie, but then when they're skinny, 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:28.120 they're like, well, I can't be that person. And that 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:33.040 personality shift that happened with that and that insecurity. I'm like, 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:36.399 you're still you, You're still funny. He goes, but I 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:39.879 don't feel funny like. And I thought that was weird. 0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:43.240 It wasn't just on the outside, it was who he 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:46.840 thought he had to be and then couldn't be or 0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:48.640 didn't know how to be that anymore. 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:51.399 So do you want to hear my theory? 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:53.080 Yeah? 0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:56.120 So my theory is that we our personality and our 0:20:56.280 --> 0:21:01.679 identity and our sense of self who we are is 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:05.280 very intertwined with what we look like with our body. 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:09.080 And so when the big fat guy who always get 0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:12.240 laughs gets last, he's the jolly guy. He's the life 0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:15.960 of the party. It's big bloody Brian again. He's just 0:21:16.080 --> 0:21:18.840 crushing it and he's funny and everyone goes, oh, mate, 0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:23.040 glad you're here and whatever, and then you don't have 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:26.560 any kind of significant albeit probably not one he wanted, 0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:32.080 but then yeah, you can. It's been interesting for me 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:35.359 as I've gotten older, getting a much leaner version of me, 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:40.119 which is good for me, but my ego doesn't like it. 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:43.760 It's not like I'm skinny, oh no, oh no, my 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:46.760 ego wants me towagh ninety five and be hard as 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:49.080 a cat's head and have veins in my fucking eyelids. 0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:54.480 That's what my ego wants, right. But yeah, I'm getting older, 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:57.280 like I'm still have a fair bit of muscle for 0:21:57.440 --> 0:21:59.800 my age. I'm very lean and all of that. But 0:22:00.680 --> 0:22:05.320 I got on the scales yesterday. Absolute truth. I don't 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:06.720 even want to say it, but I'm just going to 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:09.240 say it because it's true. I hope none of my 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:13.000 main male dude friends are listening. I weighed seventy eight 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:17.360 point five. Now for me, that is lame. 0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:18.520 Is that really low? Oh? 0:22:18.600 --> 0:22:20.480 That's hysterically low for me. 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:23.760 Yeah, I was going to say that. I never guessed 0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:24.359 that by. 0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:27.040 Look yeah most yeah, yeah, most of the last ten 0:22:27.040 --> 0:22:31.879 to fifteen years. Eighty five ish and quite lean. Yeah, 0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:34.359 I've been a bit cook lately, so I think that 0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:37.639 hasn't helped. But yeah, and you know, lots on a 0:22:37.640 --> 0:22:40.720 bit of stress and sleeplessness and all that shit. But yeah, 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:45.040 I my ego doesn't like it. But if you look 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:47.720 at me in a pair of shorts and a singlet, 0:22:48.560 --> 0:22:51.560 yeah it's compared to some people anyway, I'm in quite 0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:55.600 good shape, right, But yeah, it's like it's funny because 0:22:55.680 --> 0:22:58.600 but I realized this isn't a problem, this is just 0:22:58.680 --> 0:23:00.240 a perception. 0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:04.720 Yes, I had exactly the same conversation with a girlfriend 0:23:04.760 --> 0:23:08.159 who was feeling unsexy, and I'm like, you are, so 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:11.359