1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,240 Speaker 1: I'll get a bloody champions. It's Craig Anthony harprov been 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: told not to lean too close to the mic. Tiff 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: yells at me, Melissa yells at me. Someone else who yelled. 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: Patrick yelled at me the other day. Am I too loud, Kate? 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,399 Speaker 1: Or am I okay? 6 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 2: You're good? 7 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: Oh? Thank you? Also I'm an only child and any 8 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: kind of approval is fantastic, So thank you, Kate. Save 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: of course our resident dietitian, exose physiologist, business owner, genius. 10 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: Other than that, she does fuck all. Also a wife, 11 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 1: also a mum, also been on. Telly also works in 12 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: the media here and there. She's a woman about town 13 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: and she's a part of our team. Are you okay? 14 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm okay. But I am saying a lot of 15 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 2: people at the moment really having meltdowns because they thought 16 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 2: that this new year, the Chinese New Year. Have you 17 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 2: heard people talking about this being the end of the 18 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 2: snake and they shed and now it's the start of 19 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 2: the horse and you're stronger and whatever else, And it 20 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 2: hasn't started yet. But I feel like the turn of 21 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 2: the year people were thinking just because it turned to 22 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 2: twenty six instead of twenty five, the whole, everything would change, 23 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 2: it would all be different, and everyone feels disappointed. You know, 24 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 2: it's hard right now for everyone. 25 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: It is spoken authorized by Kate's Save. 26 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 2: It is hard. 27 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: You heard it here first. Well hard. 28 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 2: You might need more fiber and you might be dehydrated 29 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 2: the bruttin. 30 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: Next section, next section, you fuck around, you find out 31 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: all that more with Kate Save. Like, I think I 32 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: agree with you. I don't disagree with you, But I 33 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: also think people there are a percentage of people, probably 34 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: a big percentage, who also realize it's not going to 35 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: magically happen. But I think you know, there is a 36 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: group of people who go new year, new mindset, new start, 37 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: new behaviors, new habits. Well, you know, here's the thing. 38 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: If you're not not bad or weak, just normal, whatever 39 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: normal is, you're probably going to run out of motivation 40 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: sometime in the first two weeks of the new year, 41 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: or you're quite likely to. Or excitement or time or 42 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: enthusiasm or whatever it was that created the momentum. I 43 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 1: think with changing our body health, fitness, wellness, nutrition, optimizing us, 44 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it is, the challenge is not to 45 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: get and stay motivated. The challenge and I'm sorry listeners, 46 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: you've heard this too many times, but it's new for Kate. 47 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: The challenge is to figure out how can I keep 48 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: doing the work what I need to do to become 49 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: the person I want to become when I don't feel 50 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: like it, because that very human state of I don't 51 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 1: feel like it. I'm not excited, My back hurt's a 52 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: little bit, I'm a little bit flat, I'm a bit sad. 53 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 1: My boss is a prick, and the motivation I had 54 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: is gone for now. Anyway, The challenge is not to 55 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: get all of that back. The challenge is to keep 56 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 1: going with the behaviors in its absence. It's like, as 57 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: you say to all my athletes and clients, I don't 58 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: care what you do when you're in the zone. I 59 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: care what you do when you can't be fucked because 60 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,519 Speaker 1: that capacity to step up when most would give up. 61 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: That's a superpower. 62 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 2: Absolutely. And the first thing that goes through my head 63 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 2: when you say that is people are looking for a 64 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 2: magic pill for whatever, and that is why they go 65 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,119 Speaker 2: so hard at something, and they go the hard way 66 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 2: is not going to work. Give me the magic pill, 67 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 2: and hence the weight loss medications that was the first 68 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 2: thing when you said that, that popped into my head 69 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 2: as if this will solve all my problems this year. 70 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 2: And it's not one thing for anything. There's you and 71 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 2: I talked off air about building your dream house and 72 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 2: picking the handles and the furnishings. And you think in 73 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 2: two years, after you've built that house and put every 74 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 2: little piece of your heart and soul in time, energy 75 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 2: into picking everything, that the moment you walk in that 76 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 2: door and you move in, you will have a wonderful life. 77 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 2: But actually your health is still the same, your job's 78 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 2: the same, your bank account's probably a lot less. 79 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, I mean I like that analogy 80 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: because so we live in two places, this kind of 81 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: we live in our body, we live in our home. 82 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: But if we asked anyone what's more important, your house 83 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: or your body, everyone's going to say, well, of course 84 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: I can get another house. I can't get another body. 85 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: And again this is not to be a smart us, 86 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: but it's just to say, well, how come you spend 87 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: basically a year thinking about and planning and organizing and 88 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: structuring and timetabling and allocating resources and having conversations and 89 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: doing all of these things to build your best house, 90 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: but you don't spend the day doing all that stuff 91 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: to build your best body, you know. And it's so, 92 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: why not the same way that you get proactive and 93 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 1: productive and strategic and you know, creative about how you 94 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: build your home. What if you took that thinking and 95 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 1: what if you know, like your home is a project 96 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: that you're working on. What if you, in fact, what 97 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: if we started a podcast called the You Project. What 98 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: if you were the project? You know? What if your body? 99 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 1: What if your mind? What if your habits, what if 100 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: your behaviors, what if your exercise routine, what if your 101 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: outcomes and results? What if the plan was built around 102 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: all of those things or the project was focused on 103 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: those things. Like when it comes to our bodies, and 104 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: this is me generalizing everyone, don't get pissed off. It's 105 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 1: not everyone, but most of us are just emotional when 106 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: it comes to our body because it's where we live, 107 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: and emotions and physiology and psychology you're intertwined. But with 108 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: a house, it's just a thing we're going to build, 109 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: you know. So and yes we do get into emotionally 110 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: intertwined with the place that we live as well, but yeah, 111 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: it's trying to how do I deconstruct this. So I'm 112 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: just a lot more realistic and practical about how I 113 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 1: build my optimal body, knowing that probably in a week 114 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: or two I won't be motivated like I am now, 115 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: which is not bad a week it's normal, it's human. 116 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: How do I navigate that? 117 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 2: Oh? The first thing I think about there is new 118 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,559 Speaker 2: car feeling or new phone feeling as well, Like you think, 119 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 2: you get the thing, and that little bit of joy, 120 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 2: that dopamine, that pleasure, that reward that you have, it 121 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: goes away. And that's how I feel about motivation. You 122 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 2: have this pumped up energy to do something and then 123 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 2: it slowly fades. I think the most important thing is habit. 124 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 2: And I was sitting at a dinner Thursday night, and 125 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 2: someone next to me said, I'm so interested to see 126 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 2: what you order for dinner because I'm a dietitian. 127 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: So welcome to it my life and yours. That's the 128 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: one constant, if you're Kate or me, whenever you're in 129 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: a public place eating, somebody wants to if not, somebodies 130 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: want to look at your dinner. 131 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I try to pretend like I'm normal. 132 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 2: I'm picking a normal choice. But Actually my brain is 133 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 2: thinking about do I need more iron? Then I'll have 134 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 2: red meat? How long since I go since I last 135 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 2: had fishure, I haven't had fish a week? Oh no, 136 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 2: you had tuny yesterday. Oh do I need more a 137 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 2: mega threet. So my brain does think these things, right, 138 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 2: it does it very quickly. But I'm never thinking about like, 139 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 2: I'm not thinking about the calories in the food because 140 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 2: I actually don't believe calories matter. Calories are not a thing. 141 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 2: They are a made up thing. Humans put food into 142 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 2: a bomb calorimeter and you know, burnt it and then 143 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 2: gave them an equivalent number of calories. I don't believe 144 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: that that has a lot. It's certainly not the number 145 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 2: one thing when it comes to how food affects our body. 146 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 2: So I've talked a little bit about this in the past, 147 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 2: but calories is not a thing that enters my mind. 148 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 2: I am always thinking nutrients because I know that's what 149 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 2: my body needs to fuel, and I think macros. I 150 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 2: do think protein because I know that's what's going to 151 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 2: attain my muscle, and a bit of collagen in meat 152 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 2: and you know, animal structures that's going to help my 153 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: face stay up as I grow old. 154 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I down, that's right. 155 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 2: And anyway, so this guy said to me, are you 156 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 2: going to have chips with your steak? And I said, well, 157 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 2: if I feel like chips, I will have ten chips. 158 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 2: He goes, why ten? And I said, look, that's my rule. 159 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 2: And he goes, what do you mean there's rules? And 160 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 2: I said, well, that's just a habit that I have. 161 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 2: I can have chips whenever I want chips. I would 162 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 2: never not have chips, but I have ten. And he goes, oh, 163 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 2: what other rules do you have? I've said, well, if 164 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 2: I have a vanilla slice, I'll have two giant bytes. 165 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 2: I have a very big mouth, two big big bites, 166 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 2: and then I'll put the rest in the bin. So 167 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 2: I had cheesecake for dessert, So what. 168 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: Do I have? 169 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 2: Two big spoonfuls of the cheesecake and then I don't 170 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 2: go without anything. But I'd never sit there and fall 171 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 2: into the trap of the dopamine drift, where just buy 172 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 2: it after buy it after buy it, like you know 173 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 2: the food is tricking, you don't fall for it. It's yeah, 174 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 2: be smarter than the food. 175 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you don't have it. 176 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 2: You're going to be driven to have it if you 177 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 2: say I can't have it. I can't have it the 178 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 2: moment it's put in front of you, you inhaling and 179 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 2: you don't even remember you ate it. 180 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think I think one of the So 181 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: when I say all this stuff I say everyone, I 182 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: feel like I've got to rationalize, you know, just to 183 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,439 Speaker 1: give people context who don't know me. So I did 184 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: over fifty thou pt sessions. I don't say that as 185 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 1: a brag. It's not a brag. It's just my story. 186 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: It's just where I've been and my staff did over 187 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: twenty five years. Well, I actually don't know, but I 188 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: would think it would be significantly above two million sessions. Right, 189 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 1: So I've been around hundreds of thousands of people who 190 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 1: want to look different, feel different, function differently, and I 191 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: put myself. I'm about to throw a group of people 192 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: under the bus, including myself in the group. I think 193 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: the problem that I made, or that the mistake I 194 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: made and many others made and make, is that when 195 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: it comes to exercise and diet and all of these 196 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: things which are relevant to everyone, we are more concerned 197 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: with esthetics and appearance than we are with health and function. 198 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 1: And so what happens is, and by the way, it's 199 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: an unclimbable hill. So I've worked with many I need 200 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: to be careful, but I've worked with many people, men 201 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: and women who are models, who work in the media, 202 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:07,079 Speaker 1: who've got high profiles, who are understandably are very aware 203 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: of how they look, and also very aware that the 204 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: better that you look, depending on what scale we use, 205 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 1: the better that you do sometimes and the you know, 206 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: the more desirability and appeal and marketability. And let's be honest, 207 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: dollars right, So you get taught by our culture. When 208 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: people say looks don't matter, well, I agree with you. 209 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: On a philosophical and a real world and a spiritual level, 210 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: they don't. But in the marketplace they fucking do. 211 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 2: Oh you look at how they destroy actors that put 212 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 2: on weight they love putting on the front of magazine. 213 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 2: Look this is what she look like. Look at her now, Like, yes, 214 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 2: we do as a society pull. 215 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: People down and yeah, and even down to you know 216 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,719 Speaker 1: people how they look now. Twenty years ago they look 217 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: like this and now look they look like their grandmother. 218 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 1: And so it's it's fucking horrible and it's nasty. But 219 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: the problem remains, Like I nobody knows who this is 220 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: so I can say it. But I remember training a 221 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: young lady who was a model, and I don't know 222 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: how do we assess, but through my eyes it's like, okay, well, 223 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 1: this human is about a nine and a half out 224 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: of ten, and I would have put myself as a five, right, 225 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: so this to give some context. And I wasn't terrible 226 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: back in the day. Now I'm a rock solid. Now 227 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: my one and a half, I'm alright with that. But 228 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: when I first met her, I'm like, cheapest, this lady 229 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 1: is attractive. And we chatted and like, why you're here? 230 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: She goes, oh and stands up and kind of just 231 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: holds her arms out goes, why do you think. I'm like, 232 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're saying, but it's probably not 233 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And she thought she was like, this 234 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: is actually what she said. She goes, I'm fucking hidious, 235 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god. You know, obviously body 236 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: dysmorphia and a whole lot of and so it took 237 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: me a long time to help her get in a 238 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 1: healthy place emotionally and mentally around how she looked, how 239 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: she thought people saw her, evaluated her, rated her, appearance 240 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: and beauty, and yeah, it's so hard. And when you 241 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: grow up in a culture like Owls, which does despite 242 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 1: what we say, away from the meaningless fucking words, in reality, 243 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 1: people get advantaged greatly. Sometimes the prettier or more handsome 244 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: they are, right, Well, that teaches you a bad lesson 245 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: because that means as soon as you start to be 246 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: less desirable or attractive or pretty or handsome, you're not 247 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: as valuable, or you're not as good or you're not 248 00:13:55,360 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: as worthy. And that's that. So people, I know many 249 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: people who have done things which are bad for their health, bad, 250 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,839 Speaker 1: not neutral, bad so that they would look better in 251 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: what you know. So I'm going to do a bad 252 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: thing to my body which is bad for my health 253 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 1: on a range of levels physical health, but it might 254 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: make people think I'm more attractive, you know, And that 255 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: is I'm not hating on those people. I'm just saying 256 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: that's kind of the world we live in. 257 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 2: It is, and it is really sad too because even 258 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 2: once we've done those things to our body, and you 259 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 2: see all of the people that have done too much 260 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 2: to their face and it's so disordered, but they think 261 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 2: it looks better. And that's where you know, there's actually 262 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 2: a dysregulation between what they're seeing and what everyone else 263 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 2: is seeing. That strive for perfectionism, whether that is in 264 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 2: the way you look or in health, is actually not 265 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 2: good either, because there is no such thing as perfect health. 266 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 2: That's a scary thing too, because that leads to this 267 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 2: thinking that there is this one super food, this one routine, 268 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 2: this one something, and if you blow that out, it's disproportionate, 269 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 2: when actually our body is so metabolically flexible if we 270 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 2: are reasonably healthy, so if we try to be healthy, 271 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 2: our body will compensate for everything else. So trying to 272 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 2: be perfect is setting yourself up for failure. That'll lead 273 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: to disappointment. I'll be perfect whatever, you know. 274 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: In all the thousands of PT sessions I've done over 275 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 1: the years, almost nobody like a few, but very few 276 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: people are happy with how they look, no matter how 277 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: much they've changed. So the amount of times when for 278 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: whatever reason, quite often I don't know if it's the 279 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: same because I don't weigh people anymore. But back in 280 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: the day where everyone would get like a monthly or 281 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: six weekly assessment, which would be you know, girth measurements, 282 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: maybe on the scales, maybe but never more than once 283 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: a month, and I'd explain to them what it meant 284 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: and what it didn't mean, you know, so people would 285 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 1: come in for better or worse. Back in the old days, anyway, 286 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: nearly everyone said I want to lose this much. That's 287 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: why they were there at weight loss. And then they'd 288 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: be like, if I could weigh sixty five kilos, that'd 289 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: be awesome. I'll be so happy. I'd be like, I'd 290 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: be good. If I got sixty five, I would be good. 291 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: Life would be good. I would be happy, I myself 292 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: steam and'd be better. All these things would happen they 293 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: get sixty five kilos. None of that's happened because it 294 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: happened so slowly, and they see themselves every moment and 295 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: they go, oh yeah, but look at this, look at 296 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: that and that bits of their own body and squeeze 297 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: it and show it to me. Right, I'm like, all right, 298 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 1: so what are you thinking? And they'd be like sixty 299 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 1: Like I go, I reckon, you're going to get sixty 300 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 1: and tell me fifty five? Oh no, no, no, of 301 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,880 Speaker 1: course that would happen, right, because and this is weird 302 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:22,040 Speaker 1: and deep and spiritual and philosophical, but I truly believe 303 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: that we humans try and solve psychological and emotional and 304 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 1: maybe spiritual issues with getting leaner or weighing less or 305 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: looking to so we think that something physical will fix 306 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,919 Speaker 1: something emotional. So you know, it's like my story is, 307 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,120 Speaker 1: I was a big, fat kid, and I mean big, 308 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 1: and I mean fat, I mean morbally obese. And then 309 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 1: I lost weight and I got in good shape, and 310 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 1: then I was basically a runner and I was quite skinny. 311 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 1: Then I went, yeah, well I'm not fat, which is good, 312 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: but I'm skinny. Chicks don't dig skinny. And I would 313 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: mind us a girlfriend time before I turned thirty, that'd 314 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: be nice. And so then I started lifting weights. And 315 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: then you know, I got to the point where I 316 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: was quite big, quite muscular, quite lean. I was as 317 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 1: insecure as ever, like my insecurity did not disappear at all. 318 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: And then so there was time where I couldn't be 319 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: lean enough. Then there was a time where I couldn't 320 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: be big enough, and where most people would panic if 321 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 1: they didn't lose weight, I would panic if I didn't 322 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: gain weight. When I was going through my body phase bodybuilding. 323 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 2: Phase, is there also a personality shift outwardly. And my 324 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 2: example of that is I used to see a lot 325 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 2: of people come through with the bariatric surgeon I was 326 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 2: working with for weight or surgery, and one particular guy, 327 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,479 Speaker 2: he was a few hundred kilos and anything he tried, 328 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,919 Speaker 2: he was actually one one seventy got up to one eighty. 329 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:07,240 Speaker 2: We could never get him below really one seventy through 330 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,200 Speaker 2: any other meats, so he decided to have weight loss surgery. 331 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 2: Not recommending him for anyone, no offense to anyone who's 332 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 2: had it, but it is life threatening. There's definitely a 333 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:21,879 Speaker 2: risk for it. And anyway, about two years later, he 334 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 2: came to tap me on the shoulder and there's this tall, 335 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 2: big lanky guy and I'm like hi, and he's like 336 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 2: it's me. Do you remember me? And said he's name 337 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 2: and I was like, my goodness, Like he was completely unrecognizable. 338 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 2: So to me, he was a big, funny, happy guy. 339 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 2: And now he was a really tall, skinny redhead like 340 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 2: I don't even notice he had red hair, Like he 341 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 2: was just this completely different person. And I said, wow, 342 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 2: how do you feel like all that pressure off your joints? 343 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,679 Speaker 2: And are you like how have you done this? You 344 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,679 Speaker 2: walk every day exercising. He goes, oh, I feel a 345 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 2: bit insecure, and I go, what do you mean? And 346 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 2: he goes, well, I'm not the funny fat guy. I'm 347 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 2: just you know, I'm not used to being in this body. 348 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 2: And I was like, I've never heard anyone like people 349 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,160 Speaker 2: play roles, and you see people in movies where they 350 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 2: think they're the funny fat person or they are right, 351 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 2: that's a role in a movie, but then when they're skinny, 352 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 2: they're like, well, I can't be that person. And that 353 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 2: personality shift that happened with that and that insecurity. I'm like, 354 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 2: you're still you, You're still funny. He goes, but I 355 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 2: don't feel funny like. And I thought that was weird. 356 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 2: It wasn't just on the outside, it was who he 357 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 2: thought he had to be and then couldn't be or 358 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 2: didn't know how to be that anymore. 359 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,399 Speaker 1: So do you want to hear my theory? 360 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? 361 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 1: So my theory is that we our personality and our 362 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:01,679 Speaker 1: identity and our sense of self who we are is 363 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: very intertwined with what we look like with our body. 364 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 1: And so when the big fat guy who always get 365 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: laughs gets last, he's the jolly guy. He's the life 366 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: of the party. It's big bloody Brian again. He's just 367 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: crushing it and he's funny and everyone goes, oh, mate, 368 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: glad you're here and whatever, and then you don't have 369 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: any kind of significant albeit probably not one he wanted, 370 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: but then yeah, you can. It's been interesting for me 371 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 1: as I've gotten older, getting a much leaner version of me, 372 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 1: which is good for me, but my ego doesn't like it. 373 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: It's not like I'm skinny, oh no, oh no, my 374 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: ego wants me towagh ninety five and be hard as 375 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: a cat's head and have veins in my fucking eyelids. 376 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: That's what my ego wants, right. But yeah, I'm getting older, 377 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 1: like I'm still have a fair bit of muscle for 378 00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: my age. I'm very lean and all of that. But 379 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 1: I got on the scales yesterday. Absolute truth. I don't 380 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: even want to say it, but I'm just going to 381 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 1: say it because it's true. I hope none of my 382 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: main male dude friends are listening. I weighed seventy eight 383 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:17,360 Speaker 1: point five. Now for me, that is lame. 384 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 2: Is that really low? Oh? 385 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 1: That's hysterically low for me. 386 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say that. I never guessed 387 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:24,359 Speaker 2: that by. 388 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: Look yeah most yeah, yeah, most of the last ten 389 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 1: to fifteen years. Eighty five ish and quite lean. Yeah, 390 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: I've been a bit cook lately, so I think that 391 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,639 Speaker 1: hasn't helped. But yeah, and you know, lots on a 392 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 1: bit of stress and sleeplessness and all that shit. But yeah, 393 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 1: I my ego doesn't like it. But if you look 394 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,720 Speaker 1: at me in a pair of shorts and a singlet, 395 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: yeah it's compared to some people anyway, I'm in quite 396 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 1: good shape, right, But yeah, it's like it's funny because 397 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: but I realized this isn't a problem, this is just 398 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 1: a perception. 399 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 2: Yes, I had exactly the same conversation with a girlfriend 400 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,159 Speaker 2: who was feeling unsexy, and I'm like, you are, so 401 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,359 Speaker 2: I'm not hitting on her. I have a husband and 402 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,239 Speaker 2: a family. She's so sexy, And I'm like, this is 403 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 2: You've got to realize this is in your head. You 404 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 2: have not changed. You need to drop that thought that 405 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 2: she's like I can't get a boyfriend because I'm not sexy. 406 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my goodness, where did that thought come from. 407 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, you just need to watch more. I don't know. 408 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 2: I taught her to watch some rom coms and some 409 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 2: funny Netflix things, and there's Younger on Netflix where the 410 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 2: lady's like forty something, and you know these things that 411 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 2: make you laugh at yourself. You laugh at the character 412 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 2: and then you go, oh, I had that thought too. 413 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 2: That thought's not real. I take yourself so seriously and 414 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 2: like it's an idea we put in our head. But 415 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 2: it's not real. Like you said, no one else would 416 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 2: see that on you, only you. 417 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:05,200 Speaker 1: And can I tell you a funny story. So when 418 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: I was in my late twenties, had this friend, like 419 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: I was never fucking Brad Pitt, let's be clear, but 420 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 1: I was always good on the gob right. I could 421 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,160 Speaker 1: talk shit, I can make people laugh. I could build rapport, 422 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 1: you know, guys and girl girls old and young, you know, 423 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 1: not necessarily trying to you know, woo anyone, but just 424 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: talking right. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't use the first 425 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 1: term that came into my mouth. But anyway, I had 426 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 1: this friend who was stupidly good looking. Stupidly good looking. 427 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: I mean, I love going out with him, but I 428 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: fucking hated it because I was socially invisible, right, I 429 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: was just like the fucking ugly dumb brother. But him 430 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 1: just good looking, but when he would talk to girls 431 00:24:54,280 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: like oh my god, shush shush, and he just was 432 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,119 Speaker 1: awkward and clunky and beautiful, like an amazing guy. But 433 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: just one of my other friends said, he's so amazing 434 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:10,360 Speaker 1: till he talks. 435 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 2: Yep. 436 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: Yep. I've met those guys too. I'm like, oh, bro, 437 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: and I had to. And then he got this. He 438 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: met this girl. They became a thing. I knew her 439 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: quite well and she's like, is he a good dude? 440 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, he's great. He's a great dude. He's a 441 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: little bit clunky but clungster on the socializing and that 442 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,960 Speaker 1: She's like, what do you mean. I'm like, ah, she 443 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 1: will find out. And he was just so keen to 444 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: please yep. And it's such a good dude that it's like, Bro, 445 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: you mose will get a T shirt that says desperate 446 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,919 Speaker 1: all over the front front of it because I know 447 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,679 Speaker 1: that's not your intention, but that's that's the energy you're 448 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 1: giving off. And ladies aren't attracted to desperate. Yeah. And 449 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 1: so way, he came over to my joint one day. 450 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:07,160 Speaker 1: We were hanging out and he was asking me stuff right, 451 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 1: and I said, okay, tell me how often you call her? 452 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 1: So mobile phones were out, so it must have been 453 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: I guess late nineties. Tell me how often you phone her? 454 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: And he's like, uh, give me a phone. And it 455 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 1: was in the arvo. It already called her like ten 456 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,880 Speaker 1: or twelve times. I'm like, Okay, that's not going to work, bro, 457 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: And I said, and if she texts, he would text 458 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,719 Speaker 1: thirteen seconds later back. I might give it a bit 459 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: of a spell, you know, just just I'm not trying 460 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: to be cunning, but I'm like, just try to understand. 461 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,360 Speaker 1: This is my PhD. Try to understand the you experience 462 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 1: for her. Try to understand what all this. I know 463 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,640 Speaker 1: that you're keen and you want to impress her. That's 464 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,240 Speaker 1: not a thing. That's a good thing, but you also 465 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 1: need to try to understand that your intention is not 466 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,679 Speaker 1: her experience, and your very good intention might produce a 467 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: very bad experience and outcome. Right, like she might go 468 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: fucking way too needy. I need whatever a manny man 469 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 1: is that I need one of them, right, So it's that, Yeah, 470 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: And I've had the we're digressing now, but I've had 471 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 1: the same thing where not in looks and that, but 472 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 1: when I would get feedback from students when I talk 473 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: taught academically, and one of the bits feedback was, you know, 474 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: like great, good, we like him, stuff's good, but he's 475 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: kind of scary or is intimidating. And I'm like, ah, first, 476 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: one second, one a third, one oh fourth one oh. 477 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:51,880 Speaker 1: You know. And out of I don't know, one hundred 478 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,919 Speaker 1: and fifty students in my first year of teaching exercise science, 479 00:27:55,440 --> 00:28:00,880 Speaker 1: like probably more than ten, it wasn't insignificant, like oh, 480 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: what do I do that? Because that is obviously not 481 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 1: my intention and not my awareness. So I was the problem, 482 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: So they weren't the problem. Like when ten people say 483 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 1: the same thing, it's definitely got something to do with you. 484 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,760 Speaker 1: But that's part of the whole who am I and 485 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,640 Speaker 1: how am I? For me? And who am I and 486 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: how am I for them? It's like, you know, which 487 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: is why it's called metaperception, which is understanding you for them. 488 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 1: So yeah, and that kind of insects with all kinds 489 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 1: of things, even in the health and wellness space, you know, 490 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: like the way that you teach people about nutrition and 491 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: bah blah blah, the way that you teach not what 492 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: you teach, but the way that you teach will be 493 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 1: way more influential than the contents. 494 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 2: Makes perfect sense. And I see when you said that. 495 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 2: I went to an example where I got some feedback 496 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:02,640 Speaker 2: about my personality that I'm aware of lots of different things. 497 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,960 Speaker 2: And I've said this before. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. 498 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 2: I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what 499 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 2: I'm thinking all the time. 500 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: I talk a. 501 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 2: Lot, and I don't have any body image issues, so 502 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 2: I need to be super sensitive around everyone else because 503 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 2: I don't know what they're thinking at that time. So 504 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 2: I can be really annoying to people that are having 505 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 2: body image issues. And anyway, this particular male said to me, 506 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 2: can I let you know you now for I don't 507 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 2: know a year, and you just come across so cold 508 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 2: to me. I think you know that you need to 509 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 2: work on this. I was like cold, and he's like, 510 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 2: you know, like so cold, And I'm like, is that 511 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 2: my defense mechanism around men? So I never feel like 512 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 2: I'm putting myself out there because I'm married and have 513 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 2: kids and whatever else, Like, I wouldn't think I was 514 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 2: ever cold. And I was absolutely shocked that this guy 515 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: thought I was so cold. 516 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 1: Okay, now let me stop you. The question is not 517 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: am I cold? The question is do people perceive me 518 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 1: as cold? And then the next question is why am 519 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: I intimidating? Well, I guess to some I very much 520 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 1: try not to be. Are you Do I think, as 521 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: objectively as I can about you, that you're cold? No, 522 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 1: I've never even never even entered my mind. Do I 523 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 1: think that some people could see you as that? Well, 524 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 1: clearly because it's happened. So it's you know, to sorry. 525 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: To take things that are personal about you, to not 526 00:30:55,320 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: take them personally is very difficult, especially when you know, 527 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 1: like you're you, You're in the media, your face is 528 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 1: out and about. You've got a profile, You've got an ego, 529 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: I've got an ego. We all think we're a bit 530 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: better than we are. I think I'm you know, I'm 531 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: I do think you're amazing. By the way, that wasn't 532 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 1: an insult, but I just think that. I just think that. Yeah, 533 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 1: of course, of course, you know, like the idea around 534 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 1: I'll shut up after this, I realize I'm over talking, 535 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: But the idea around you know, needing to be right. 536 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: Like I had a revelation a few years ago and 537 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: it was like, well, of course, I'm wrong. Of course 538 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 1: I get multiple things wrong. Like how many things have 539 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,360 Speaker 1: I gotten wrong in the past since I was, say, 540 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: a young adult till now, well, probably hundreds of thousands, 541 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: definitely tens of thousands. So why would I think I'm 542 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: right today? Or why would I assume I'm right? I 543 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,640 Speaker 1: might say, well, this is what I think, but I 544 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 1: could be wrong. You know, if I'm saying two plus 545 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: two is four, I'm sure I'm right. But if I'm 546 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: saying the meaning of life is this, I'm not sure. 547 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,800 Speaker 1: So this is what I think about that particular topic 548 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 1: or question. But could I be completely wrong, yes, Could 549 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: I be a bit right, yes? Could I be totally 550 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: right yes, not likely. 551 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 2: And I think that whole perception thing of other people 552 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 2: and how they perceive you. You make me knowing what 553 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 2: you study and the way that you think. I think, Okay, 554 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 2: what made them think that? Because it's not necessarily about 555 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 2: me if I haven't had that feedback from anyone else, 556 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,360 Speaker 2: But what is it about them that makes them think 557 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 2: that about me? And the way that you talk always 558 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 2: makes me go oh, it's their experiences that are shaping 559 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 2: their experience with me, not necess necessarily what I'm. 560 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: Doing Okay, you're exactly right. So for our listeners, a 561 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: really easy way to comprehend this is so all of 562 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 1: us have been programmed from birth to or whenever. You 563 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 1: could comprehend anything to listening to this podcast right now. 564 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: You now, as you listen, you've got certain beliefs and 565 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: ideas and values, and maybe theology, maybe philosophy, maybe spirituality. 566 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: You've got certain genetics, you've got a certain body, You've 567 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: got certain friends and family, you went to a certain school, 568 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 1: You pay attention to certain social media and mainstream media. 569 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,720 Speaker 1: You have ideas and beliefs and biases. All of us do, 570 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 1: including man Kate. Now, all of that stuff metaphorically forms 571 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: the window through which you observe the world. But the 572 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:54,240 Speaker 1: problem is there's eight billion windows and they're all different. 573 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:59,200 Speaker 1: So Kate's window is not mine. So Kate thinks that 574 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,840 Speaker 1: she's looking at something objectively when she is not. She 575 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 1: is looking through a lifetime of programming and conditioning and 576 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: labeling and storytelling. So Kate sees not the thing, but 577 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: rather her version of the thing, as does Craig. So 578 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,400 Speaker 1: if you want to go, well, how the fuck do 579 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,719 Speaker 1: we Well? Can we be objective? No, we can't. There's 580 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,800 Speaker 1: a little bit of an exception. But no, we can't 581 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,439 Speaker 1: be objective because everything we look at we're looking through 582 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 1: our lens, so we see our version of what is right. 583 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 1: But then the next question is, or the next perhaps 584 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 1: part this is how do I be more evolved in 585 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 1: this space? How do I open the door to real 586 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 1: awareness and real consciousness? Like taking a step up the 587 00:34:54,760 --> 00:35:00,040 Speaker 1: consciousness ladder is realizing that I am a miss a 588 00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:04,160 Speaker 1: world inside a macro world. So my world is my thoughts, 589 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 1: my ideas, my beliefs, my values, my biology, physiology, you know, 590 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: my genetics. Like that's the world that I live in. 591 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,960 Speaker 1: I live on planet, Craig, and everything else is another 592 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: you know, planet or star kind of circulating around me 593 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:25,280 Speaker 1: or weigh from me. And so it's understanding that now, Craig, 594 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: you don't see the world objectively because you're not objective. 595 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 1: Everything that you look at is a subjective interpretation or 596 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 1: a subjective experience. So the closest that we can get 597 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:41,799 Speaker 1: to objectivity is not real, but it's closer is when 598 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,000 Speaker 1: Kate tells me something about something I've never heard of, 599 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 1: I don't understand. I don't have a preconceived idea, I 600 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,920 Speaker 1: don't have any opinion, and she starts to tell me 601 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 1: about this area that she has a lot of knowledge 602 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,799 Speaker 1: in and I have none, you know, but I might 603 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,839 Speaker 1: have a pre conceived idea that Kate's full of shit. 604 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 1: So I'm like, this is all bullshit, you know. So, 605 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 1: but it's an interesting area of the human experience to 606 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 1: open the door. 607 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,120 Speaker 2: On it is very much so, very much so. 608 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,279 Speaker 1: And also also just for you, I know, I talk 609 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 1: too much. Apologize everyone like you understanding how other people think. 610 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:24,480 Speaker 1: Like you've got business partners if not, yeah, you have, 611 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 1: and employees and friends, and you've got to you've got 612 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 1: to make deals. You've got to sell products. You've got 613 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:36,719 Speaker 1: to navigate conversations and meetings and problem solving and conflict resolution. 614 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,399 Speaker 1: You've got to build connection, rapport, trust, respect with people. Now, 615 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 1: the superpower in there is knowing how they think. Because 616 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,760 Speaker 1: if you know how they think, then you know how 617 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 1: to talk. You know their language, you know their reference points, 618 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,799 Speaker 1: you understand their cognitive landscape. You understand what they think 619 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 1: and maybe what they're seeing. And in science, that's or 620 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: in psychology that's theory of mind, and that yeah, that's 621 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 1: just when you start to think more about how they 622 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 1: think than what you think. Then you can really go 623 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:12,280 Speaker 1: to another level. 624 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,680 Speaker 2: And I love that too because I think it throws 625 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 2: all of the business jargon that's in business books on 626 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:25,080 Speaker 2: its head a little bit too. Because every single person 627 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,960 Speaker 2: you employ, supplier relationship, or anyone in business that you 628 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 2: deal with you there is no specific way to deal 629 00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 2: with it. There is no textbook way of exactly what 630 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:41,360 Speaker 2: you need to do and say and the dot points 631 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 2: that you will learn about in business, because it actually 632 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,839 Speaker 2: comes down to the relationship you can build with the individual. 633 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,880 Speaker 2: Nothing else matters. If you can't build the relationship with 634 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,719 Speaker 2: the individual, it probably doesn't matter how good your product is, 635 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 2: because at some point in time, someone else is going 636 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,640 Speaker 2: to come along that builds a stronger a life relationship, 637 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 2: and that human at the end of the day has 638 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 2: emotions that will be pulled in another direction. So I 639 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 2: always focus on building the relationships because even if that 640 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,560 Speaker 2: you don't do the deal in the organization this person 641 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,839 Speaker 2: is in today, wherever they go next, they will think 642 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 2: of you and you will be top of mind. I 643 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 2: think even with employees, no matter what happens, if it 644 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:30,560 Speaker 2: doesn't work out, I always try my very best to 645 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:35,680 Speaker 2: keep the relationship, and if there is a ugly exit, 646 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:40,440 Speaker 2: then try and repair the relationship because something is about 647 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:44,600 Speaker 2: an objective thing at work. Maybe it's a mistake, a 648 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 2: seventy thousand dollars double spreadsheet mistake, and I'm very forgiving. 649 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,240 Speaker 2: I've had lots of these things over the years. However, 650 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 2: when you repeat those mistakes several times, I don't dislike 651 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 2: you as a person. I think you have many incredible qualities, 652 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,440 Speaker 2: but this role no longer suits you, and we don't 653 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 2: have other roles. So I am so careful with every 654 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,239 Speaker 2: relationship for everyone I meet, because I find that the 655 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,880 Speaker 2: world goes around and you come across them again, or 656 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 2: you work with their husband or their wife, or their 657 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 2: brother or sister, or whoever it might be. And that 658 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 2: is the number one thing that I think I've learned 659 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,920 Speaker 2: in business over the last twenty something years, is to 660 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,919 Speaker 2: work on your relationships more so than anything else. Yeah, 661 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,200 Speaker 2: before you sell, before you whatever you're doing. 662 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,759 Speaker 1: Well, Unlike you. There are people that I don't like. 663 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,640 Speaker 1: I'm like now, but I don't tell them that, and 664 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,879 Speaker 1: I don't think they're necessarily bad people. I just don't 665 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: want them in my life. I wouldn't be mean to them. 666 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,520 Speaker 1: I wouldn't run them down. In fact, if I could 667 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: help them get ahead inside, I would. But there are 668 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: just people that I go, I don't want you in 669 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:01,160 Speaker 1: my life. I wish you all the best, but I 670 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: don't want to spend time talking to you, or don't 671 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 1: want to hang out with you. I don't respect the 672 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,239 Speaker 1: way that you think. Or it's like, oh whatever, there's 673 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: just shit chemistry or but that's okay. And I'm absolutely 674 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,400 Speaker 1: positive there are people who feel the same about me, 675 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,880 Speaker 1: and I'm I'm completely cool. I'm like, of course, like 676 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,360 Speaker 1: sometimes I don't like me, and I fucking am me. 677 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,359 Speaker 1: So I don't blame you. And I also know that 678 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:31,160 Speaker 1: my personality and my directness and my bluntness ain't for everyone, 679 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,600 Speaker 1: and I get it, you know. And that I had 680 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,360 Speaker 1: a session the other day. I can't say much, but 681 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 1: it was with a new coaching client, a corporate coaching client. 682 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 1: And you know these sessions that companies pay for that 683 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,239 Speaker 1: it's not like a dollar fifty session, like they're not 684 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,600 Speaker 1: giving this well, let's be honest, I'm not giving it away, right, 685 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 1: So So anyway, I met with this person and they're 686 00:40:56,160 --> 00:41:04,520 Speaker 1: like it was on zoom and Firstly, they weren't keen 687 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:08,359 Speaker 1: to do it at all. They weren't keen and they 688 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,040 Speaker 1: said that, and I didn't blame them because it wasn't 689 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 1: about me. I could have been that never met me 690 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:20,960 Speaker 1: and anyway showed up and we're like, I'm like, let's 691 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: just go with Champ. I might get a champ. What's 692 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:27,239 Speaker 1: going on? Had to chat and a lot of people like, oh, 693 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,240 Speaker 1: how does this work? Do you do a disc profile? 694 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: Do you to do a personality? Do you send me shit? 695 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,839 Speaker 1: I fill out twenty pages of shit, I send you back, 696 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,439 Speaker 1: you analyze that. I send it back, You analyze the shit, 697 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 1: then you come up with it. I go fuck all that. 698 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,920 Speaker 1: That is way too hard and I'm too lazy. And 699 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,799 Speaker 1: the person's like, oh, what do we do? I go, 700 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,360 Speaker 1: will you talk to me? Then I talk to you, 701 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,400 Speaker 1: and then you talk back, then I talk back. We 702 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,520 Speaker 1: do that for an hour and then we kind of 703 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:56,120 Speaker 1: fuck off, you know, and you might go this is good. 704 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 1: I like it and we'll do another one, or you 705 00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,600 Speaker 1: might go not for me and we won't do another one. 706 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 1: Has that and they're like that's great. I'm like, yeah, 707 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 1: I'm not the arm twister. Well, firstly, if you don't 708 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,000 Speaker 1: like me, I want to be coached by me. That's fine. Also, 709 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:13,879 Speaker 1: I don't want to coach you if you don't want 710 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 1: to be coached. And I understand that. So we did 711 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:21,319 Speaker 1: an hour and that dude and by the way, hand 712 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 1: on heart, just a good guy. It doesn't matter, no 713 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,720 Speaker 1: one knows who is. I like him, I actually really 714 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,920 Speaker 1: like him. And I'm like, this dude could be my friend. 715 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 2: You know, I know what the difference is. When I 716 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 2: said build relationships, she went to or I don't like everyone. 717 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,799 Speaker 2: I didn't say I like them. It's connecting, That's what 718 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 2: it is. It's right. 719 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:45,879 Speaker 1: How do you. 720 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:50,040 Speaker 2: Build a human connection? And there are many people that 721 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,440 Speaker 2: think they have nothing in common with me whatsoever. My 722 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,160 Speaker 2: challenge when I meet someone is to find a human connection. 723 00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:02,319 Speaker 2: Whether it's we both have cat, our mums both died, 724 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:06,040 Speaker 2: we both had kids, we both had a natural birth. 725 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 2: Who knows what it is, but there will be a 726 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:12,360 Speaker 2: human connection where you connect, and it doesn't mean you 727 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,440 Speaker 2: have to like the person, but once you've got that connection, 728 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:20,040 Speaker 2: So maybe relationship is not the same word, but yeah, 729 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,560 Speaker 2: my challenge, no matter who it is, is to build 730 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,000 Speaker 2: a connection. And sometimes you know you have that instant 731 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,920 Speaker 2: where people you feel like your hairs prick up and 732 00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,280 Speaker 2: they're not your person. That's the person that I really 733 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,719 Speaker 2: try and find a human connection with, because I think 734 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 2: that's the challenge for me is we are all human 735 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:41,760 Speaker 2: and on some level we will have something in common. 736 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,399 Speaker 2: Don't know what that is, and when you find that, 737 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:48,080 Speaker 2: you actually unlock the key to communication for whatever it 738 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,880 Speaker 2: is you need to do or get from this person, 739 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,399 Speaker 2: you can communicate better. But if unlocking that. 740 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 1: Connection, I will also say, just quickly, like there's been 741 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,440 Speaker 1: lots of people I've worked with over the years that 742 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,439 Speaker 1: I didn't really like them, and eventually I actually liked them. 743 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:10,600 Speaker 1: So was I the problem? Yeah? Like sometimes of course, 744 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,120 Speaker 1: like I can't go, we don't get on. Here's the problem. 745 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,600 Speaker 1: I'm not the problem. Ah, that's just your ego champ, 746 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:20,120 Speaker 1: you know. And sometimes there wasn't really a problem, just 747 00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:24,080 Speaker 1: like I don't you know, like there are people that 748 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,000 Speaker 1: I need to spend time around because of my job, 749 00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,239 Speaker 1: because of my work, because of a situation, because of 750 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:32,160 Speaker 1: a circumstance, because of a some kind of commitment I've got. 751 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,120 Speaker 1: That's cool. They would not know I didn't like them, 752 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,920 Speaker 1: and I would never express that, but then where you go, well, 753 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,319 Speaker 1: this is kind of not work, this is no, this 754 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,359 Speaker 1: is just my life over here. This is me and 755 00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,919 Speaker 1: do I no, don't you know? But when I see 756 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,360 Speaker 1: that person, I would tend to be a good version 757 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: of me if I could. I've got a jam. We 758 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:53,759 Speaker 1: still didn't talk about what we're going to talk about, 759 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,360 Speaker 1: but we'll come back. Kate and I are going to 760 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,080 Speaker 1: come back. I'll say this now so you know. And 761 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:01,560 Speaker 1: we did a good I think we did a good 762 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:06,440 Speaker 1: job last time talking about strength training and being in 763 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,480 Speaker 1: the gym and all of that, but we didn't really 764 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,880 Speaker 1: remember both of us qualified in the exo science slash 765 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,440 Speaker 1: physiology space. But we didn't talk about cardio much. So 766 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,000 Speaker 1: we're going to We're going to regroup and not get 767 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:25,960 Speaker 1: distracted as I always caused us to get distracted, and 768 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 1: we'll unpack our thoughts around the how's, whis, why not, 769 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,799 Speaker 1: what to do? What not to do? Benefits and not 770 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:39,040 Speaker 1: just physical but of cardio so hard stuff. Is that 771 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 1: all right with you? Miss? 772 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,839 Speaker 2: Sounds great looking forward to it. 773 00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:46,680 Speaker 1: Do you want to give people a heads up? Tell 774 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:50,440 Speaker 1: people about beefit foods where they can get them. By 775 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:54,400 Speaker 1: the way, I'm not saying this because I it's great 776 00:45:54,719 --> 00:46:00,279 Speaker 1: beefit food stuff great, great and from me, and I 777 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,160 Speaker 1: hate doing ads, So this is not an ad. This 778 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,880 Speaker 1: is a report. This is a review. All the macros 779 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:11,720 Speaker 1: and micro is fucking amazing for And I'm a person 780 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,400 Speaker 1: who is very active in trains. Every day I have 781 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:18,560 Speaker 1: one of the meals, I have one of the range, 782 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:23,640 Speaker 1: and I'm nearly every time I'm good. I may need 783 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,840 Speaker 1: a little something, depends on what I've done in the 784 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,240 Speaker 1: day and what I ate through the day. But yeah, amazing, 785 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,200 Speaker 1: high quality, not expensive. Where can they get. 786 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,840 Speaker 2: Them beefitfood dot com And are you on our website 787 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,040 Speaker 2: online chemist Warehouse stores. We're in twenty eight and we've 788 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,359 Speaker 2: got thirty nine new stores contracted that should roll out 789 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:47,120 Speaker 2: through and IDAs and Riches. And on that thought that 790 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:51,120 Speaker 2: someone said to me about price the other day, So 791 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,200 Speaker 2: why would I pay that for eggs? And I said, well, 792 00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,680 Speaker 2: our eggs has four egg whites, two egg yolks, plus 793 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,279 Speaker 2: you know your bit of edgies, bacon Cherusa, whatever you're having, 794 00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:04,399 Speaker 2: they're like four e gosh, that's expensive. Rall you make 795 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,480 Speaker 2: it relative to your food shop these days and not 796 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,960 Speaker 2: having to prep it, it's not as expensive, and every 797 00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,960 Speaker 2: meal's got twenty to thirty grams of protein minimum, so 798 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,000 Speaker 2: it's a good way to hit your protein targets. 799 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:22,439 Speaker 1: Sure is, You're the best kite save. Thank you so much, 800 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: Friends and family, Thank you so much. We will be 801 00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,400 Speaker 1: back sometime in the future. Over and out from the 802 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:29,080 Speaker 1: You Project.