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Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Britney Saunders and welcome to Big Business, the

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Speaker 1: place where business is far from boring. And today I'm

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Speaker 1: recording on gadigul Land. Now, I somehow managed to build

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Speaker 1: an empire from the garage underneath my house and I'm

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Speaker 1: here to share it all with you, from the wins,

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Speaker 1: the mistakes, the challenging times and the funny moments in between. So,

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Speaker 1: whether you're in business yourself, perhaps you're not in the

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Speaker 1: game at all, Maybe you're looking for some inspo, or

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Speaker 1: you simply just want to hear the tea, this is

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Speaker 1: the podcast for you. Coming up on today's episode, I'm

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Speaker 1: joined by a very special guest and I'm equally as

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Speaker 1: excited and nervous For today's episode, I am joined by

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Speaker 1: the amazing Susie Plush. Susie Plush is a psychologist and

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Speaker 1: careers expert dedicated to helping you create a life and

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Speaker 1: a career that you'll love.

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Speaker 2: As one of Australia's.

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Speaker 1: Most profiled career experts, Suzie has helped thousands of individuals.

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Speaker 1: She has connected with over two million people through television,

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Speaker 1: online and print media, consulting, podcasts and keynote speaking. Susie

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Speaker 1: is also the co CEO and co founder of Villi,

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Speaker 1: a pioneering two sided tech platform.

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Speaker 2: With a wealth of experience.

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Speaker 1: Spanning over a decade, Susie has had the privilege of

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Speaker 1: working with some world class brands like Sony, Westpac, National

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Speaker 1: Australia Bank, Open Universities Australia.

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Speaker 2: And the BBC, just to name drop a few.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be chatting to Susie today and

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that I can learn a little about myself

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Speaker 1: as well. So, without further ado, Susie, welcome to big Business.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: Well, I thought, before we get into whatever we're going

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Speaker 1: to be getting into, which I'm very excited about, I've

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Speaker 1: obviously done a little pitch for you at the beginning

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Speaker 1: of this episode, but why don't you tell us a

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Speaker 1: little more about who you are, what you do, and

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Speaker 1: what you're going to do today.

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Speaker 3: Sure. So, I'm a psychologist by background and also a

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Speaker 3: career is expert. I'm a mama, got two small kiddos,

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Speaker 3: and most recently I've been working on a tech platform

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Speaker 3: called Villa. So for the last two years kind of

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Speaker 3: pivoted from being a psychologist more to being a tech founder.

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Speaker 3: So We've built a platform that's specifically for women, so

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Speaker 3: really helping women reduce the mental and domestic load and

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Speaker 3: empowering other women with jobs to earn some extra money

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Speaker 3: as well. So I kind of do both roles tech

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Speaker 3: business and also help people as a psychologist and careers

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Speaker 3: coach as well.

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Speaker 2: You're doing a lot by the sounds of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we've got a huge team helping. So it's helpful

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Speaker 3: when you've got a lot of people behind it as well.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. People always say to me, how

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Speaker 1: do you do everything that you do? I'm like, it's

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Speaker 1: not me, Like, it's a whole team totally. It takes

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Speaker 1: an army, which I think a lot of people don't understand,

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Speaker 1: especially being on social media.

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Speaker 2: They might think it's all me kind of thing. I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: there's a whole team behind this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're only as good as your team, exactly, right.

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Speaker 1: So obviously you're a psychologist and we've been wanting to

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Speaker 1: get you on here for a while, Like Ellie has

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Speaker 1: been saying, we need to get her in. We need

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Speaker 1: to get her in because I always say I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I brag about it or if it scares

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Speaker 1: me I always say like, I've never spoken to a psychologist,

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Speaker 1: like I've never spoke to anyone, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: how I feel about that. I like to think for

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Speaker 1: someone that has been through a lot in my life

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Speaker 1: and obviously been on a massive career journey, I like

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Speaker 1: to think that I'm really self aware of the reason

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Speaker 1: why I do what I do, And especially doing this podcast,

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Speaker 1: it's opened my eyes and I have conversations here in

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Speaker 1: the studio with Zander and and it kind of like

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Speaker 1: opens my eyes and makes me realize why us entrepreneurs

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Speaker 1: do certain things. And I truly do think that if

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Speaker 1: you are like an entrepreneur and you have that fire

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Speaker 1: in your belly, it all stems from something and I'm sure.

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Speaker 2: You can speak to that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Look, I'm amazed that you haven't done therapy. It's

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Speaker 3: wild to me because you've achieved so much, and even

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Speaker 3: though you might not have done traditional therapy, I imagine

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Speaker 3: you've done a lot of work internally on yourself so well.

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Speaker 2: I feel like.

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Speaker 1: Going through business is like therapy myself, Like it is

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Speaker 1: stuff that it throws at you. And it's like I've

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Speaker 1: learned more about myself in my business journey than I have,

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Speaker 1: like in any other stage of my life, just because

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Speaker 1: of the challenges that come your way and then how

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Speaker 1: you learn to deal with them, and then you learn

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Speaker 1: for next time, and then yourself reflect Like being someone's

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Speaker 1: boss has made me reflect on myself like I never

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Speaker 1: would have when I worked in like a nine to

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Speaker 1: five job kind of thing, because it literally makes you

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Speaker 1: question how do other people perceive me?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent, And you're constantly having to have

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Speaker 3: empathy for other people and then think how are they

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Speaker 3: going to feel? And how am I going to lead

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Speaker 3: these people? And so, yeah, you have to have that

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Speaker 3: self awareness to be a really great leader. You've got

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Speaker 3: to have that emotional intelligence as well to read a

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Speaker 3: room to imagine how other people on your team are feeling,

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Speaker 3: and then you know, adjust your behavior to sometimes suit

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Speaker 3: that environment.

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Speaker 1: For sure, I agree, And I've heard so many people say,

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Speaker 1: and I say it all the time, like it's really

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Speaker 1: hard to be an amazing entrepreneur and also an amazing boss.

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Speaker 1: Like those two things are two completely different things. And

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Speaker 1: I was saying to you in the studio earlier when

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Speaker 1: you came in. When someone starts a business, usually you're

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Speaker 1: starting it on your own like I did. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: like I was starting and had this big team and

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Speaker 1: like business partners or whatever.

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Speaker 2: It was quite literally, I'd tried a.

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Speaker 1: Million things like in my teenage years, like spray tans

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Speaker 1: and makeup, like I'd always tried little businesses. And so

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Speaker 1: when someone starts a business, you're doing it selfishly. Because

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Speaker 1: as for me, I always hated working for someone else.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't stand someone telling me what to do. So

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Speaker 1: my whole thing was like I just was yearning to

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Speaker 1: just work for myself because I just felt really independent

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Speaker 1: in that way. And what's funny is we start businesses

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Speaker 1: for those selfish reasons of like I want to do

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Speaker 1: something of my own. I don't want to have a boss.

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Speaker 1: But then if your business actually grows and then you

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Speaker 1: have other people come into your business and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, you've got a team, it's no longer about

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Speaker 1: you anymore, and you fully have to learn to flip

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Speaker 1: that mindset of this is my business, and I do

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Speaker 1: whatever I want to do to holy shit, yeah this

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Speaker 1: is my business, but now it's all about everyone else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And that says a lot about your leadership brit

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Speaker 3: to be to continually transform yourself and adjust in your

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Speaker 3: leadership and strengthen your leadership as you've had to grow,

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Speaker 3: because really it rises and falls on leadership. So when

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Speaker 3: you see a really thriving organization, normally there's some incredible

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Speaker 3: leaders at the top that are focused on things beyond themselves,

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Speaker 3: you know, with a really strong purpose and a mission

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Speaker 3: behind what they're doing. And that often, you know, Garners

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Speaker 3: a great team that really has incredible buy in because

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Speaker 3: it's not about them, it's not about ego, it's about

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Speaker 3: doing something that's going to make a really big difference

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Speaker 3: in the world. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more.

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Speaker 1: I think one of the things that I struggle with

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Speaker 1: the most, which I know you've listened to a couple

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Speaker 1: of episodes of mine, and I'm sure it's something that

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Speaker 1: a lot of business owners struggle.

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Speaker 2: With is just feeling that pressure.

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't come from anyone like it comes from within.

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Speaker 1: But I just feel a pressure that I have to

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Speaker 1: be perfect at everything. What would your advice be to

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Speaker 1: me or anyone who does just feel that constant pressure

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Speaker 1: of needing to be perfect at absolutely everything when it

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Speaker 1: comes to business.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, great question, and I know so many people would

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Speaker 3: relate to exactly that struggle. It's interesting listening to previous

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Speaker 3: podcasts and understanding of it about your background. Again, just

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Speaker 3: want to honor you this morning for.

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Speaker 2: Where you've come from Britain.

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Speaker 3: It's actually incredible that you haven't let your background stop

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Speaker 3: you from doing things, but thought, no, I'm actually going

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Speaker 3: to use this as fuel to create something amazing in

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Speaker 3: the world and you know, really empower women, like your

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Speaker 3: mission statement says on a huge level, and you know,

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Speaker 3: so much of our background and what we do comes

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Speaker 3: from like some of those childhood patterns. And full disclaimer

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Speaker 3: for anyone listening, this is not a therapy session. I'm

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Speaker 3: just putting it out there.

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Speaker 1: For it I'm seeing it as one everyone else doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to.

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Speaker 3: So my goal today is to give some psycho education.

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Speaker 3: So maybe shine a bit of light or maybe a

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Speaker 3: few key reasons why you might do certain things based

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Speaker 3: on what I've heard about your and then give them

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Speaker 3: practical strategies to to yourself and listeners for how you

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Speaker 3: can move forward and maybe stop letting some of those

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Speaker 3: fears or challenges hold you back. So I guess when

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Speaker 3: we think about how we were raised as kids, if

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Speaker 3: we don't have that real supportive environment where we feel

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Speaker 3: like our emotional needs are met, it can kind of

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Speaker 3: cause a little bit of a fracture in our attachment style.

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Speaker 3: So from what you were saying on previous podcasts was

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Speaker 3: that you know your background, you didn't feel like your

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Speaker 3: parents really were in your corner and were there few emotionally.

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Speaker 2: Is that is that right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: If I really take a step back and look at

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Speaker 1: everything that I'm doing and everything that I've done, because

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Speaker 1: before Fate, I was like a content creator online and

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Speaker 1: I had a YouTube channel, And I think the reason

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Speaker 1: why I've done everything that I do and why I

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Speaker 1: keep striving for more, and why I never feel satisfied

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Speaker 1: or happy because.

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Speaker 2: The hard thing with like business is it's never ending.

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Speaker 1: Like you can say, clebrate one win, but then you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: now what we're going to do next, cause it's just

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Speaker 1: never ending. But I think it genuinely all stems from

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Speaker 1: the fact that, like my parents have never been there,

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Speaker 1: Like I've never had someone saying like, I'm so proud

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Speaker 1: of you. So I think it's been this thing inside

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Speaker 1: me that I want to prove. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's to them or if it's just to the universe,

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Speaker 1: Well watch how far I can go. Like, I think

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Speaker 1: that's what it is. Like, I think that's the driving

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Speaker 1: reason why I've done everything that I've done. It's just

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Speaker 1: because I feel like, well, if I'm not proving to

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Speaker 1: my own parents that I'm amazing or that I feel

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Speaker 1: like my emotional needs have been met by them, well

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get that feeling in another way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's why i have such this like

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Speaker 1: fire in my belly and I'm such a go getter because.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to prove something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's to them or just to

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Speaker 1: myself or the universe or all of the above. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's where it comes from.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And it's interesting if when it's still about childhood,

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Speaker 3: if some of those early emotional needs weren't met, you

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Speaker 3: can learn to be really hyper independent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Right, and so you're like, they're not there for me,

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Speaker 3: so I need to figure it out myself. And that

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Speaker 3: can then translate into business world as well. So a

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Speaker 3: few things that you were saying on previous pods were like,

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's all on me. You know, if

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Speaker 3: the sales are down, it's my job to fix it

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Speaker 3: all on me. So that hyper independence can sometimes lead

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Speaker 3: from those earlier experiences, and those perfectionistic tendencies as well

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Speaker 3: can lead from that needing to have a sense of control. Again,

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Speaker 3: I imagine when you were little, didn't feel like you had

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Speaker 3: much control. So if you're perfect, if you get it right,

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Speaker 3: then there's this sense of calm and control. I've got this,

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Speaker 3: So it does. You know, a few of those things

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Speaker 3: do lead back. But from what you've been saying, I

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Speaker 3: think what you've done is you've been able to move

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Speaker 3: to post traumatic growth, which is when you've experienced hardships

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Speaker 3: throughout your life. You can either use that to keep

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Speaker 3: you stuck or feel bitter, or make excuses of why

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Speaker 3: you haven't taken action, or you can say, you know what,

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Speaker 3: that sucks, that happened. But I'm going to use that

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Speaker 3: as fuel and I'm going to create something great that's

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Speaker 3: come out of something potentially quite painful. And I loved

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Speaker 3: I remember listening to one of your comments and it

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Speaker 3: was thing Xander had said, oh, you know, do you

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Speaker 3: forgive your parents? And and you said I'm beyond forgiveness,

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Speaker 3: I'm at peace, And I was like, bingo, that's post

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Speaker 3: traumatic growth.

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Speaker 2: For years, right, yeah, just you go, right, it's.

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Speaker 3: In the past. Most people are doing the best they can.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to blame, you know, my background. I'm

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Speaker 3: just going to go it is what it is, and

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Speaker 3: it was painful, but you know what I'm going to

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Speaker 3: you know, evolve and transform myself and then create something

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Speaker 3: of huge impact rather than you know, staying in that

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Speaker 3: place where I blame and I'm resentful and I'm bitter

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Speaker 3: because of that, and I think that's absolutely so honorable.

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Speaker 2: Thanks. I also really struggle with people giving me compliments.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so when people say like, oh, you should be

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Speaker 1: so proud of yourself, or you sitting here today, Like

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Speaker 1: every time someone gives me a compliment like that, like

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Speaker 1: I feel like a reaction to it body that I

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Speaker 1: don't know how, like oh, that you shouldn't be saying

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Speaker 1: those kinds of things to me.

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Speaker 2: Or when someone comes up and.

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Speaker 1: Goes, oh you should be so proud blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: I'm always like, oh, thank you. But like I find

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Speaker 1: it very hard to like take compliments and also be

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Speaker 1: proud of myself. And again, I think that's just why

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Speaker 1: I have this constant want.

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Speaker 2: To strive more.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's just like trying to feel

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Speaker 1: a void. And I'm very grateful of the fact that

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Speaker 1: I faced hardships when I was younger and that I've

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Speaker 1: been able to turn that into something positive, because i

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Speaker 1: know a lot of people can get stuck and just

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Speaker 1: be in that like resentment era. And I was fourteen

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Speaker 1: when my dad like walked out of my life. And

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Speaker 1: I will say, even though like I'm fine with it

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Speaker 1: now and I've moved well beyond it, for like a

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Speaker 1: good three to four years there, from like fourteen to eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I was in that like resentment phase, like I hated

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Speaker 1: the world, I hated him, like I've never cried so

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Speaker 1: much in my life. And I think that's also now

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Speaker 1: why I'm very like, I don't want to say emotionless,

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Speaker 1: but like not a lot affects me now because I'm

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Speaker 1: like I went through that, so I can handle anything.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's actually been like a really powerful

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Speaker 1: tool for me owning a business, because owning a business

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Speaker 1: isn't easy, as everyone knows, and it throws stuff at

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Speaker 1: you that.

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Speaker 2: You thought you would never have to deal with.

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Speaker 3: Amazing, and you know, I often say to clients and

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Speaker 3: to people in my world. You know, sometimes life is

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Speaker 3: just going to punch you in the face.

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Speaker 2: It's not fair.

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Speaker 3: Yep, it's not even it doesn't make sense. It's not

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Speaker 3: your fault. But how you use that pain to transform

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Speaker 3: yourself from the inside out will determine your next mountaintop moments.

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Speaker 3: So life is a series of valleys and mountains. But

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Speaker 3: how you transform yourself in the valley and what you do,

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Speaker 3: how you use that pain to work for you, that's

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Speaker 3: what really can transform you. And you know you're doing that,

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Speaker 3: brit It's incredible. Part of what you were saying though

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Speaker 3: about feeling uncomfortable. You get those compliments because it's not

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Speaker 3: familiar to you grow up with that.

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Speaker 2: No, we never we never grew up with affection with like.

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Speaker 1: Kissing, hugging, Like we've never been told like I love

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Speaker 1: you so like even when like friends say it, like

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Speaker 1: I feel weird.

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Speaker 2: Like if friends are like love you on.

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Speaker 1: The phone or whatever, I'm like, love you too, And

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Speaker 1: I feel awkward because like, my parents never said that

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Speaker 1: they loved me never.

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Speaker 3: So you don't have that as a blueprint, no to

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Speaker 3: learn that now.

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Speaker 1: So now someone hugs me, I'm like or like even

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Speaker 1: the girls at work like, we don't really hug. It's

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Speaker 1: not like a hugging workplace, but where we do hug

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Speaker 1: that oh I'm hugging Brittany because they.

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Speaker 2: Just know I'm not like a affectionate kind of person.

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Speaker 1: It's just really interesting to I guess, reflect on my childhood,

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Speaker 1: in my life, moving into adulthood, becoming a boss and

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Speaker 1: then it being a boss just really makes you look

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Speaker 1: back at yourself in ways that you would never imagine.

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Speaker 3: And it's interesting. I think all of us will pretty

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Speaker 3: much every and I worked with and in myself, there's

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Speaker 3: this internal story that you know, swelled around our heads,

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Speaker 3: which is they're not good enough story, and that comes

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Speaker 3: in so many different versions. So it could be I'm

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Speaker 3: not smart enough, I'm not lovable enough, I'm not pretty enough,

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Speaker 3: I'm not skinny enough, I'm not you know, social enough.

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Speaker 3: Whatever it is, it's always a version of the not

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Speaker 3: enough story. So whatever kind of the insecurity, whatever the dysfunction,

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Speaker 3: it often comes back to that, right. And so one

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Speaker 3: of the strategies which can be really powerful, instead of

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Speaker 3: trying to prove that you're enough or to try and

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Speaker 3: do things to kind of get that sense of validation,

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Speaker 3: is just recognizing that story. So when you know that,

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Speaker 3: thinking comes up, going, oh, what a surprise, there's the

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Speaker 3: I'm not enough story, And if you can just label

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Speaker 3: it as a story, because that's what it is.

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Speaker 2: It's just a.

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Speaker 3: Story, it's not fact. But we buy into that, and

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Speaker 3: then that sometimes fuels our behavior to try and earn

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Speaker 3: that love, to try and be enough, and that puts

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Speaker 3: a lot of pressure on us as well. So that

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Speaker 3: would be one of the main things is really kind

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Speaker 3: of noticing, well, that's my mind saying to me, and

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Speaker 3: can I label that story when it comes up? Look,

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Speaker 3: I might even speak about this through my own life.

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Speaker 3: So as I mentioned psychologists, careers, expert back background, and

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Speaker 3: then two years ago I ended up moving into tech

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Speaker 3: and doing this app called Villi, which is your instant feelage.

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Speaker 3: It's all about powering women. And that was birth from

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Speaker 3: pain in my own life, so sharing on socials just

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Speaker 3: this week. The last decade for me have been beautiful

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Speaker 3: but also brutal, like absolutely brutal. You know, pregnancy loss,

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Speaker 3: my best friend passed away, a really close friend of

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Speaker 3: mine passed away, so many challenges. Even when I had

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Speaker 3: my first son, had you know, crippling anxiety, based on

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Speaker 3: some health issues he had with silent reflux. So there

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Speaker 3: was just so much pain in that all those scenarios,

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Speaker 3: and again a lot of it wasn't my own faults.

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Speaker 3: It just life punched me in the face a few times.

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Speaker 3: And I remember thinking, I am going to use this pain.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I obviously heal from it and do all

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Speaker 3: the work on myself. And as a psychologist, I was like, right,

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Speaker 3: I need to do, but I also do about post

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Speaker 3: traumatic growth as well, And I thought, Wow, I'm in

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Speaker 3: this valley right now. How can I use this pain

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Speaker 3: to transform it to actually do something incredible in the world.

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Speaker 3: And so the Villay app and everything we're doing there

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Speaker 3: was birthed from pain. But that built an inner fortitude

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Speaker 3: within me. Like what you were saying, when you've had

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Speaker 3: to overcome really difficult things, it builds the strength in

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Speaker 3: you that you go, right, I've overcome that, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Can free it on. What else can I do? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So I was like, oh, I'll do it. I'll create

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Speaker 3: an app in the tech world, like because I thought

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Speaker 3: I've overcome all these things exactly right. You know, with

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Speaker 3: the right team around me, we can do anything. So

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Speaker 3: I think the gift of pain is just this internal

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Speaker 3: fortitude that helps you do things that you would never

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Speaker 3: normally do because it builds this confidence of I've overcome

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Speaker 3: that I can do anything. And I find that when

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Speaker 3: I'm working with really successful entrepreneurs. Everyone has a story.

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Speaker 3: Everyone has a story, Everyone has pain in their background.

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Speaker 3: It might look different, it's not always even or comparatible.

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Speaker 3: But if you can use that pain to build that

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Speaker 3: inner strength and fortitude to go on and do something

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Speaker 3: beautiful in the world or have a huge impact, you know,

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Speaker 3: you're unstoppable.

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Speaker 1: I've almost learned to welcome getting punched in the face by.

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Speaker 2: The life haha. But I love that you've used that

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Speaker 2: term because it's brutal. It is. Yeah, well, I think

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Speaker 2: in a.

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Speaker 1: Business as well, you get punched in the face all

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Speaker 1: the time. Obviously different to going through things in your

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Speaker 1: personal life. But if you're in a business, especially if

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Speaker 1: it's growing, like you're constantly going to be getting punched

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Speaker 1: in the face and one challenge comes and then you

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Speaker 1: deal with it. And I would say, like, one of

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Speaker 1: the best things that I've gotten out of, you know,

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Speaker 1: starting a business and growing it to where it is

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Speaker 1: is that self confidence that I wouldn't have had. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: I had self confidence when I started it because I

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Speaker 1: started in the first place, but just the growth from

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Speaker 1: being challenged so frequently. And I'd say when I started

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Speaker 1: Fate and I had my first couple of little casual employees,

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Speaker 1: I was scared of conflict. I was scared of things

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Speaker 1: going wrong. Like I always wanted everything to be perfect,

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Speaker 1: and then if something wrong happened, it could be something tiny,

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Speaker 1: like if we got a bad customer complaint, you know,

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Speaker 1: because someone had a bad experience in our retail store.

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Speaker 1: I would be so scared to talk to that employee

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Speaker 1: because you know, naturally.

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Speaker 2: We all don't love conflict.

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Speaker 1: And we want everyone to be happy and where people

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Speaker 1: pleases by nature.

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Speaker 2: But as the years have gone on and.

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Speaker 1: I've experienced more and more issues in my business, most

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Speaker 1: to do with staff, because I'd say that's where a

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Speaker 1: majority of like your challenges you're going to face is

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Speaker 1: dealing with people day to day. But over the years,

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Speaker 1: dealing with every challenge or getting whacked in the face,

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Speaker 1: it just gives you this confidence of like, well, I've

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Speaker 1: dealt with that now, so bring on the next thing.

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Speaker 2: Like in as weird.

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Speaker 1: As it is, like you, you don't learn to love

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Speaker 1: the challenge, but like you, just your character builds so

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Speaker 1: much and you do get to that point where it's like, well,

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Speaker 1: I've experienced all of this now, so I'm ready for

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Speaker 1: whatever the universe is going to throw at me next.

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Speaker 3: For sure, and its studies have shown that often the

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Speaker 3: strongest predictor of success, it's not talent, it's not ability,

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Speaker 3: it's not likability.

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Speaker 2: It's actually grit.

437
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 3: It's the ability to stick at something day in day

438
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 3: out when it gets hard and not give up and

439
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 3: continually to find new pathways to success. So often, and

440
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 3: I'm sure you can relate to this, brit but you

441
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 3: know you'll be going down one pathway and you're like, oh,

442
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 3: that's not working. We need to pivot. I need to change,

443
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 3: so constantly finding a new pathway to get the result

444
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 3: that you want, rather than you know, going down pathway

445
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 3: A and it's not working and you just give up.

446
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,480
Speaker 3: So that's what, Yeah, success, greet is one of the

447
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,119
Speaker 3: underlining factors that make someone successful.

448
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 1: I totally agree with you, based on obviously the few

449
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: episodes of mine that you've listened to and talking with

450
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: me today. Is there anything else I need to know

451
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 1: I'm just wanting you to I'm wanting you to punch

452
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 1: me in.

453
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 3: The fact, I don't know I want to do that, brick. No.

454
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 3: I think that that self awareness piece is really powerful,

455
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 3: and I think if you can recognize some of the

456
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 3: stories that come up and sometimes sit in the discomforts.

457
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 3: So even I remember you saying something about having to

458
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 3: check the sales of the day and then feeling like

459
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 3: it's on you and feeling like you're'n be perfect in

460
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 3: how you approach your team, if you can just notice

461
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 3: the tension that comes up in your body.

462
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:26,719
Speaker 2: When you feel that.

463
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 3: So, what's my mind saying right now? And can I

464
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 3: just take a few breaths and recognize, hang on, this

465
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 3: is just fear.

466
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I need to do that more

467
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 1: because it's the thing that keeps you up at night.

468
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: I find like I'm laying in bed at night and

469
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 1: instead of just like relaxing and knowing like everything's fine,

470
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: I'll be thinking one hundred thoughts at night about I

471
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 1: don't know, every conversation I've had that week, all the

472
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 1: little things that we're dealing with internally, and like it

473
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 1: just it does give you that feeling in your chest

474
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 1: of like worry and fear, and I think it's important

475
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 1: not only just for myself but for any other owners

476
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: out there, Like it's okay to just sit with that

477
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: and kind of chill. And it's something that I'm trying

478
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 1: to be more mindful of because if not, I'm just

479
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 1: laying in bed at ten o'clock at night and I

480
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,159
Speaker 1: should be like winding down. Instead I'm thinking of all

481
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 1: the people I need to talk to the next day

482
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 1: about all these little problems that are happening and this,

483
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: that and the other, Like it's so hard to switch off.

484
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. So if you can recognize a story, notice

485
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 3: and name the emotion this is just fear, or even

486
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 3: my perfectionism, that's just fear. That's just wanting me to

487
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: be like hyper vigilant here that everyone's happy with me.

488
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 3: And you can just notice that, name that it's in

489
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 3: the tension of that, and you know, it might be

490
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 3: worth talking to a psychotherapist or I want to go

491
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,919
Speaker 3: back through that for it that I think at some

492
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 3: point it would be helpful.

493
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: I really need to. But I've always wondered, like what

494
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 2: do you do? Like you're just walking, you can go a.

495
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: Little bit official because it's helpful to unpack that. But

496
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 3: I think you've done exceptionally well on your own trying

497
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 3: to navigate through this. And I guess one piece of

498
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 3: encourage my offen, I really like this saying, you know,

499
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 3: to kind of give you some empowerment, is that you

500
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 3: know you are the matriarch of the new order in

501
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 3: your family. So often, you know, trauma is passed down

502
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: through generations. You know your parents are doing the best

503
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 3: that they could based on what was going on in

504
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: their world, but it stops with you. It stops here,

505
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 3: and you're the matriarch the new order. You're creating a

506
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 3: new order. So if you decide to have a family

507
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 3: in the future, like it's going to stop here.

508
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 2: That's why I'm one hundred percent of agree.

509
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: I always say, I know it sounds mean, but I

510
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: need to not care that it sounds mean. My parents

511
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,479
Speaker 1: have taught me everything that I don't want to be like,

512
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 1: and that sucks because I would love to be able

513
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: to say like you.

514
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 2: Hear so many people say I love my parents and.

515
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 1: I look up to them so much, especially if people

516
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: have their parents still together, which I find is really rare.

517
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,439
Speaker 1: Like my partner AJ's parents are still together, and I

518
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 1: always say to him, like, you don't realize, like how

519
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 1: amazing that is. And because AJ knows no different, like

520
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 1: his mum and dad are being together his whole life.

521
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,719
Speaker 1: But I think it has opened his eyes, you know,

522
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: being with me and then like he's got nothing to

523
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: do with either of my parents, like and that's his

524
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 1: mother and father in law technically not that we're married,

525
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: but we've been together for a long time. But I

526
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: always say, like I'm equal parts, like so disappointed that

527
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: I don't have two parents that I can look up

528
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: to or to be able to say. They've taught me

529
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: everything I know and I wouldn't be where I am

530
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: without them. In fact, it's the absolute opposite, Like I

531
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 1: am where I am because of them, but it's because

532
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,679
Speaker 1: I know exactly like who I don't want to be.

533
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 2: And we're not sure if we're ever gonna have kids.

534
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 1: But I have always said, you know, if I ever

535
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 1: was to have kids, like I have learned exactly the

536
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: parent that I don't want to be. And again, like

537
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 1: that's a tough thing to say, but I would use

538
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: that as my fuel, you know, if I was to

539
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: step into motherhood, because I would never want my kid

540
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: to feel abandoned by me or scared of me, or

541
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: like I'm not there for them. And these are all

542
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 1: the things that I've experienced and still feel now. So yeah, again,

543
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: like it's a shitty thing to say, but you're so right,

544
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 1: Like I'm changing.

545
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 3: That, you're changing it, and the values that you're living

546
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 3: out now are like driving your behavior. So I love

547
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 3: that about you is you're thinking, how do I want

548
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 3: to show up? What kind of person do I want

549
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 3: to be? What kind of boss do I want to be?

550
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 3: How do I want to operate in the world, And

551
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 3: you're really thoughtful around that, And I think that's a

552
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 3: really beautiful thing.

553
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 2: Thank you me accepting your compliments.

554
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 3: And I think as well, you know, what you lacked

555
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 3: was the trust that people would be there for you.

556
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 3: So in your business as well, it's having to kind

557
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: of trust that the people around you have got you. Yeah,

558
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 3: you didn't have that as a blueprint.

559
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 2: It's a whole other thing, right because that's scary because.

560
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 3: You've been let down so many times.

561
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: So's we could talk for hours about this and then

562
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: like people that have experienced their parents neglecting them and

563
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: then becoming a boss and learning to accept the fact

564
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,959
Speaker 1: that staff are going to come and go, and like

565
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 1: learning to not take that personally and that people are

566
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 1: on their own journeys. Like I've had to deal with

567
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: that as well and kind of teach myself hang on,

568
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: it's not personal. If someone goes and gets another job

569
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: somewhere else, like, it's just part of it. But that's

570
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 1: a whole other story in itself. Yeah, but it's truly interesting.

571
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

572
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: So I think when it comes to people who listen

573
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 1: to Big Business, it's a bit of a mixed bag

574
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 1: of lollies. I've obviously got a lot of business owners

575
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: listening in. I've got aspiring business owners listening in, or

576
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: people that are just really career focused. And I like

577
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,919
Speaker 1: to think that on this podcast we can give something

578
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: to everyone. It doesn't matter if you own a business

579
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: or if you don't, or if you want to in

580
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: the future. But what I've noticed, especially in my DMS,

581
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: is a lot of people find themselves and I mean

582
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 1: we all experience it, just getting stuck in a rut,

583
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: whether it's in your job that you've been in for

584
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,719
Speaker 1: a while, or if you're wanting to change careers, or

585
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: if you're wanting to take the leap and start a business,

586
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: but you just feel stuck in your career that you've

587
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 1: been doing for so long. So I guess my question

588
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 1: to you is what kind of practical tips and advice

589
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: do you have for people who are just wanting to

590
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: break the cycle and make that change when it comes

591
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: to their career or business.

592
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, number one, it's great listening to this podcast.

593
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 2: Listen to a big business.

594
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 3: Because you do what you feed your brain and the

595
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 3: information that you listen to on that education is so

596
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 3: powerful in helping you make change. So yeah, definitely fill

597
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 3: your mind with some great podcasts, some great books. But

598
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 3: self awareness what we're talking about before, like really understanding well,

599
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 3: what are my strengths, What am I good at? What

600
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 3: lights me up? What feels like I'm not working? What

601
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 3: do people say I'm good at?

602
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: Naturally, I think a lot of people think that they

603
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: don't have that opportunity.

604
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 2: And I can use my partner Aj as an example.

605
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: So when we first met, he was an electrician, he'd

606
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: been an electrician for fifteen years, and he was just

607
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: working in his family's business and I was just starting fate.

608
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: So I'd already you know, been in my online career

609
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,239
Speaker 1: self employed for maybe like four or five years by

610
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: the time I met him, so I was very much

611
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: in the mindset of I can do anything, like I'm

612
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: in this entrepreneur, look at me go kind of thing.

613
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 1: And he came into my world, and I instantly noticed

614
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: in him how unhappy he he was, because he was

615
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: just stuck in a rut of working the same job

616
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: that he'd done since he dropped out of school to

617
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: become an electrician. And I saw patterns in him that

618
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: I had seen in myself when I was working my

619
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 1: nine to five's and hated I hated.

620
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 2: All of them like I hated all of them.

621
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: And I was seeing it in him where he would

622
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: wake up angry, and then he would come home angry,

623
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: and then he'd fall asleep on the lounge for hours

624
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 1: in the afternoon because he was just like so mentally

625
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: exhausted from just doing the same thing over and over.

626
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 1: And I would say to him, because I was trying

627
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,479
Speaker 1: to go up, you know, and I felt like he

628
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 1: was like plateauing or going down, and I would try

629
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: to encourage him and say, why don't we why don't

630
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: you do something different, because like AJ's so good at everything,

631
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: and then I was saying, how about we just look

632
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: at getting you a different job as an electrician, but

633
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: just change companies just for a change of scenery, or

634
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: I was saying, why don't.

635
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 2: You become a paramedic.

636
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: Like he could do anything he put his mind to,

637
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 1: and he would always say to me, and it was

638
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: that mental thing of him not being self aware. He

639
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: would say, I can't, like I can't, there's no point

640
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: if I just go and change to a different electrical company,

641
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: it's just going to be the same. And he was

642
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 1: so in that mindset of like these limiting beliefs that

643
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: he couldn't do anything else other than what he was doing.

644
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 1: And I think that's such a common thing for everyone

645
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: to experience, just like getting stuck in that one place

646
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: and feeling like there's no other options and that's what

647
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: it's going to be forever kind of thing.

648
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 2: And it wasn't.

649
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: Until like he slowly eventually started working with me because

650
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 1: he was just helping me and it was his natural

651
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: progression over the first few years of fate existing. Now

652
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: he runs the company with me, and when he gave

653
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: up being an electrician, he's like, I didn't realize, but

654
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 1: now I'm just so happy, like and I feel so

655
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: much more confident because I've gone out and done something different.

656
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: And so what are your thoughts on that When people

657
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: do get in that mindset of feeling like there is

658
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: no other options for them, or that they can't go

659
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: out and change careers or start a new business, I

660
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: just feel like those limiting beliefs are normal.

661
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, sometimes it's about having a coach or someone

662
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 3: coming alongside you. So you were that person for AJ,

663
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: weren't you like come on, like get it on board?

664
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: And it felt like yeah, bless it a lot of

665
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: points there, like we could fight and almost break up

666
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: because I was getting so frustrated because I could see

667
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: his potential and he couldn't. And that was so frustrating

668
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 1: for me because I'm like, come on, like, become a firefighter,

669
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: like you can do anything. You're freaking thirty or however

670
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: old he was at the time.

671
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was like, no, I can't.

672
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. Eighty percent is mindset. Yes, So so a twenty

673
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 3: percent action eighty percent mindset. Really, so often we have

674
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 3: these limiting beliefs, and so it's trying to adjust to

675
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 3: this growth mindset, which is I can learn I can adapt,

676
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: I can change, but it's really hard if you're in

677
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 3: that really negative spiral. Sometimes it takes a coach or

678
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 3: a therapist or a career coountcilor to really help you

679
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 3: see well there's other options. And sometimes, yeah, people don't

680
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 3: want to listen to family and friends and sometimes they're

681
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 3: just not ready to hear that too. So they've got

682
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 3: to be ready for change as well. But if you're

683
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 3: someone that's ready for change and you know you need

684
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 3: a little bit support, go and find somebody that can

685
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 3: sit with you and map this out and give you

686
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 3: some options, some really practical steps. I think what I

687
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 3: find is most people try and do too much too soon.

688
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 3: You know, sometimes it's just about dipping your toe in

689
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 3: the water, just trying go on, doing a little short

690
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 3: course or going and talking to somebody who works in

691
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 3: that particular industry and we'll figure out what's good about

692
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 3: it and what's not so good about it. So sometimes

693
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: it's just like little tiny steps then help you, you know,

694
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 3: make those changes over time as well.

695
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more.

696
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: Hope everyone out there that's listening is feeling inspired by this,

697
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 1: get out there.

698
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:34,479
Speaker 2: And do the thing.

699
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, And much like I was saying earlier, how you know,

700
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: building my business has given me so much self confidence.

701
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: I feel like even if you are starting with those

702
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 1: tiny little steps and just doing something outside of your norm, like,

703
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: I think that's what builds your confidence to then go

704
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: out and do more. I think with anything, whether it's

705
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: changing careers or starting a business, it's actually just that

706
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: first little step. That's actually the hardest bit of all. Yeah,

707
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,479
Speaker 1: Like it's not actually changing careers that's the hard bit.

708
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: It's just like taking that first little step, even if

709
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: it's tiny. But then once you start walking, like your

710
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: legs will just keep going.

711
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 3: That's it. You get momentum, don't you, And you get confidence.

712
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 3: If you try and map out the ten steps in

713
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 3: front of you, it can be really overwhelming. So just

714
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 3: do the first thing and agree more you're still stuck

715
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 3: after that, do something to help somebody else. How can

716
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 3: I add value? Where is there a need? And how

717
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 3: can I add value? And just follow that thread, because

718
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 3: often when you're doing something that makes a difference, or

719
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 3: you're helping someone else or supporting somebody else, that then

720
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 3: actually makes you feel really good too, you know, because

721
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 3: you're doing something to make a difference. So if all

722
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 3: else fails, see you need and feel it.

723
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: Well, this chat has been great so far. I mean

724
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: I feel like we could talk for the next three hours.

725
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: Might have to get you back for a part too.

726
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: We'll get you back in the bonus. How about that,

727
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: We'll do a bonus. We'll keep the conversation going in

728
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: the bonus. But do you have any final thoughts for me?

729
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think one thread that you said before was

730
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 3: that you know, sometimes you don't ever feel like you

731
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:04,239
Speaker 3: say you know, you're always wanting more and what I love, well,

732
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 3: I think we're again. There's this need for validation that

733
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 3: I am enough that I am And each time you

734
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 3: get a win, you get a bit of a dopamine

735
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 3: hit as well, like it feels good, So you're chasing

736
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,479
Speaker 3: that to a little bit as well, and that kind

737
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 3: of drive. So I often encourage people to measure yourself

738
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 3: against your values versus your metrics. So how well am

739
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 3: I living out my values right now? And score yourself

740
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 3: based on that as opposed to how successful you are

741
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 3: or how well the business is doing. But kind of

742
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 3: measuring your impact and how you are becoming the person

743
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 3: that you want to be is a really huge thing,

744
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 3: and also going look at how far I've come versus

745
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: how far I've got to go. So we all it's

746
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 3: called the gap and the game. Look at how much

747
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: I've gained, look at how much I've already accomplished, versus

748
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, there's so much more I need to do.

749
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: So it's often just these little shifts in our perspective

750
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 3: that can depletely change how we operate in business, where

751
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 3: we can learn to validate ourselves and going wow, like

752
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 3: I showed up as who I want to be today.

753
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 3: I acted with compassion and empathy, and you know I

754
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 3: was patient in that moment versus oh, I've made all

755
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 3: these sales? Does that make sense? No shifting how you're

756
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 3: measuring your success? And I often say, you know, the

757
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 3: true measure of success is how you live out your

758
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 3: values about who you want to be and how you

759
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 3: want to show up.

760
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I absolutely love that. I think Xander asked me

761
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 2: the question like a few months back now. I think

762
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 2: it was you, Xander, and you said, who are you

763
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 2: without all of your achievements?

764
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's insightful.

765
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: He asked me that question just on the pod randomly

766
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: one day.

767
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 4: Is that was that the question I did because I

768
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 4: was kind of I'm going through a bit of a

769
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 4: transformative experience now where I put too much value on

770
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 4: my achievements and my goals, and that people's impression of

771
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 4: me and faith in me and and likability was based

772
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 4: on that. And now I've kind of shifted and I've

773
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: gone these things shouldn't matter to other people. What should

774
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 4: matter is who I am. And so now I'm kind

775
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 4: of in this position of unraveling this mindset that I

776
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 4: should be building relationships and connections based on who I

777
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 4: am as a person, and that these achievements they're not me.

778
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 2: Which is things because we're also focused on our achievements.

779
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 2: And when Xander asked me that.

780
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: Question in the studio, I'm like, I actually don't have

781
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: an answer for that. I don't have an answer of like,

782
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 1: who am I without everything that I'm achieving, because that's everything.

783
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 2: That I do.

784
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're gonna have to leave that with me,

785
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 1: And that question is stuck with me because it's like.

786
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 2: Who are we without all of our achievements?

787
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: Especially if you are an entrepreneur and a business owner

788
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: and it's just go, go, go twenty four to seven,

789
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:50,359
Speaker 1: you kind of lose sense of like who you are

790
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, because that's all you become.

791
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and often say, you know, we're a human being,

792
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 3: not a human doing Yes.

793
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 2: Yes, So who are? Who do you want to be?

794
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 3: How do you want to show up? How do you

795
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 3: want to love? You know? How do you want to

796
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: you know, be there for people? I think really that

797
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 3: comes back to that. And you know, you often hear

798
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: people on their deathbed, no one's really talking about the

799
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 3: empires they build, No I know how you know, how

800
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 3: they loved and how they were, how they spent their time,

801
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 3: how they spent their time, and how they gave back.

802
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 3: And so I'm all about you know, let's let's come

803
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 3: back to values. Let's come back to who you want

804
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: to be and how you want to show up versus

805
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 3: you know, chasing the gold stars and the applause. Yes,

806
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 3: if you can learn to validate yourself like, hey, I'm okay,

807
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 3: I don't need to do I don't need to perform,

808
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 3: I'm okay just being who I am. I'm enough, And

809
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 3: it all comes back to the I'm not enough, right,

810
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 3: I need to have these gold stars and the applause

811
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 3: to make me feel like I'm enough. So if you

812
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 3: can recognize that story and then you can come back

813
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 3: and go, I am enough. I don't need to do

814
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 3: anything to prove my worst and value.

815
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: I love that.

816
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: I think I need to take that into twenty twenty

817
00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: five and worry about that rather than achieving the next thing.

818
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and look, am I going to be helpful Britain?

819
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 3: This is something I can help you with offline, but

820
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 3: is to come up with a bit of a personal

821
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 3: mission statement like what's your compass? And it's just a

822
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 3: nice little one liner where you're like, right, everything comes

823
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 3: back to that.

824
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: I love that we can do that.

825
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 3: Yeah. So mine is like to empower and encourage people

826
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 3: to live their best life. So I do that in Philly,

827
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 3: I do that in my consulting. I do that with

828
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,760
Speaker 3: my family, Like how do I show up and encourage

829
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 3: and empower people to do live their best life? So

830
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 3: it can be really motivating because then it's not about you,

831
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 3: It's about how can I help others? How can I

832
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: show up?

833
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna do that. We're gonna have a mission

834
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 1: statement for twenty five.

835
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 2: Stay tuned. I'm gonna spill it on the pod. Yeah,

836
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 2: live it out.

837
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, just a nice compass.

838
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, this has been so great having you on.

839
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.

840
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: We always wrap up, and I don't know if we

841
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 1: told you this, but we always wrap up each episode

842
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 1: of Big Business just with the tip of the week. Now,

843
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 1: I feel like you've already given us like one hundred tips.

844
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be about business. It can be life,

845
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: it can be personal, it can be fun, it can

846
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: be anything. Do you have a finishing tip of the

847
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,720
Speaker 1: week for us, even though you've already given as one hundred.

848
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 3: I do think authentically yourself? Yeah, everyone else is taken.

849
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,760
Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah, straight to the point, be yourself.

850
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, you heard it here first everyone. Where can everyone

851
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: find you? Do you have any self promoing that you want?

852
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 3: Yeah? Look, I'm not huge on Instagram or anything like that,

853
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 3: but www dot Susie, Plush, dot com dot au. But

854
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 3: villi is that's where you find me. Jump on insta

855
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 3: VILLI v I double l e y. That's where most

856
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 3: of my time and attention is going at the moment.

857
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 3: It's really to empower females on both sides, busy families,

858
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 3: getting them the support they need, but also helping women

859
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 3: find opportunities to earn an income, so yeah. Check out

860
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 3: Villy on Instagram.

861
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 1: We'll also leave all the links in the show notes

862
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: as usual. Susie, thank you so much for being on

863
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: Big Business.

864
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 3: Thanks so much for having me.

865
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:52,760
Speaker 4: Guys,