1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:12,961 Speaker 1: Approche Production. Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am 2 00:00:13,041 --> 00:00:14,601 Speaker 1: Neil the Muscle comments. 3 00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:17,961 Speaker 2: And in this episode, Neil speaks to Darcy cod Down, convict, 4 00:00:17,961 --> 00:00:21,281 Speaker 2: a drug dealer turn fitness entrepreneur. If you're a drug dealer, 5 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,441 Speaker 2: here to make sense. Hey, right, I've just been raided 6 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:24,921 Speaker 2: by the police. I need to get stuff off. 7 00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:29,361 Speaker 3: You can't you go near me picking pills cocaine. 8 00:00:29,401 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 2: It's okay, it's not. It's like, who the fuck is 9 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,321 Speaker 2: gonna go into a school till that. Kids, the worst 10 00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 2: thing you do when you're getting is google your symptoms, 11 00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:43,441 Speaker 2: because it comes up You're gonna fucking die. Okay, that's 12 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,761 Speaker 2: all it says. This is why my mom's still like 13 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 2: it was like good energy and calm up. That's what 14 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,841 Speaker 2: the universe is rewarding his moments of memory. 15 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 4: We'll start off before we get the nitty gritty about you, 16 00:00:59,241 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 4: you know, where you've grown up and all that kind 17 00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:03,121 Speaker 4: of stuff, and then we'll get into the nitty grizzy 18 00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:05,081 Speaker 4: All right, yeah stuff. 19 00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:07,401 Speaker 1: Yeah, gold for broke, go for Well. 20 00:01:07,081 --> 00:01:09,321 Speaker 2: It obviously started when I was a kid, you know, 21 00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:11,161 Speaker 2: like in primary school that I was always a fat 22 00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:12,881 Speaker 2: you know, I come from a good family and come 23 00:01:12,881 --> 00:01:14,121 Speaker 2: from a great home. You know, I always had a 24 00:01:14,121 --> 00:01:17,681 Speaker 2: family life, but this is school. I was always separated. 25 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,401 Speaker 2: Made it feel like I wasn't enough, Like I was 26 00:01:19,441 --> 00:01:22,321 Speaker 2: bullied the kids being fat, not feeling enough, Like school 27 00:01:22,401 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: was where I was meant to I went there and 28 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:25,921 Speaker 2: I was made to feel like I wasn't enough, you 29 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:26,681 Speaker 2: know what I mean. I went now. 30 00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:28,921 Speaker 3: I started off as a fat kid. Just little things. 31 00:01:28,961 --> 00:01:32,241 Speaker 2: I just eating lunch by yourself, not being included in sports, 32 00:01:32,441 --> 00:01:34,041 Speaker 2: sports like things like that. 33 00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:35,401 Speaker 1: That, like just not having a group of friends but 34 00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: you and sisters in same school. 35 00:01:36,881 --> 00:01:39,681 Speaker 2: Yeah, had a little brother, a little brother. He started 36 00:01:39,681 --> 00:01:41,761 Speaker 2: like he's three years younger than me. Like we're not 37 00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 2: gonna hear him hang around my brother. I want groups 38 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,761 Speaker 2: of friends, you know, like the like growing up this 39 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:49,241 Speaker 2: like even sports carnivals and the like I was from 40 00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 2: school from a young age, I was made to feel 41 00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,641 Speaker 2: like I was enough, Like I was always kind of last, 42 00:01:53,121 --> 00:01:54,441 Speaker 2: you know, every school event like. 43 00:01:54,521 --> 00:01:57,001 Speaker 3: Swimming carnivals, sports carnivals, last last lass. 44 00:01:57,041 --> 00:01:59,041 Speaker 1: Like you're not enough, you know, But what are we 45 00:01:59,081 --> 00:02:02,001 Speaker 1: talking about? Like you're saying that you're you're, you're, you're big. 46 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:03,761 Speaker 1: What are we talking to you? Like you went fit, 47 00:02:03,801 --> 00:02:04,201 Speaker 1: what do you do? 48 00:02:04,441 --> 00:02:04,961 Speaker 2: I was fat. 49 00:02:05,441 --> 00:02:07,121 Speaker 3: I was the fat kid. Yeah, yeah, I was fat. 50 00:02:07,201 --> 00:02:07,761 Speaker 3: I was over wait. 51 00:02:08,081 --> 00:02:09,601 Speaker 2: I was like wait when I got there's a photos 52 00:02:09,601 --> 00:02:11,001 Speaker 2: on my Instagram when I was big, when I was 53 00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 2: like bad on that. But I was just just not 54 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,081 Speaker 2: not confident. I just hated myself and so I was 55 00:02:16,081 --> 00:02:19,081 Speaker 2: always alone. So from a young age, school and relationship 56 00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:21,321 Speaker 2: I was. School was just so I didn't want to 57 00:02:21,321 --> 00:02:23,561 Speaker 2: be there. So from young ages, not want to be 58 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,041 Speaker 2: at school, not want to be there because I wasn't 59 00:02:25,081 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 2: in social groups. I didn't have like kids go on disc 60 00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:30,081 Speaker 2: goes together or they go to sleepover parties. So I 61 00:02:30,161 --> 00:02:32,041 Speaker 2: never had that when I was at home, and that's 62 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 2: when I started, obviously not even knowing. I was coping 63 00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 2: with eating food in the afternoon's, going to donuts whatever. Yeah, 64 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:40,001 Speaker 2: and then that was all through. One of the main 65 00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:42,521 Speaker 2: memories I had when I was in primary school was like, 66 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,641 Speaker 2: you know how he gets out up for like your 67 00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,361 Speaker 2: first kiss with the girl, you know what I. 68 00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:47,921 Speaker 3: Mean, but like that's how stup, we go down and 69 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:48,321 Speaker 3: back over. 70 00:02:48,361 --> 00:02:50,721 Speaker 2: I focussed and I wouldn't have mates, and then you 71 00:02:50,761 --> 00:02:52,601 Speaker 2: know I was organized that oh dust, this girl as 72 00:02:52,641 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 2: a kiss shot and I'm like, oh fucking wow, I've 73 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,961 Speaker 2: got a nervous exciting and I had a feel. But 74 00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:59,361 Speaker 2: then that afternoon when I went down the back over 75 00:02:59,401 --> 00:03:01,161 Speaker 2: to see everyone then just went down there and laughed 76 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 2: me through food to me and called me fat fire 77 00:03:03,761 --> 00:03:07,841 Speaker 2: fuck really yeah, just like that's probably the main memory. 78 00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 2: I had a promise. So I went home crying and 79 00:03:09,561 --> 00:03:11,321 Speaker 2: it was just from your age. And then see when 80 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,961 Speaker 2: I'm going into high school, I was alone. Like you 81 00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:15,401 Speaker 2: know when people go in high school, they've got their 82 00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:17,041 Speaker 2: groups of friends. You go hot high school with one 83 00:03:17,121 --> 00:03:19,201 Speaker 2: or two mates, Like you go there, you've got a 84 00:03:19,201 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: group friends, you start with a base. See I went, 85 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,841 Speaker 2: I went to high school alone. And then see me 86 00:03:23,921 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 2: going into high school alone. I was bad. 87 00:03:25,441 --> 00:03:26,921 Speaker 3: I was in secure. I had no friends. 88 00:03:27,321 --> 00:03:29,641 Speaker 2: The people that I did fit in with in high 89 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,801 Speaker 2: school were the ones that were going down for smokes. 90 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 2: They were the ones that were rebellion class schooled. It 91 00:03:33,841 --> 00:03:35,921 Speaker 2: would just be a bit rude to a teacher and 92 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:38,401 Speaker 2: play up, but I'd not answer or fucking wag, We'll 93 00:03:38,441 --> 00:03:40,041 Speaker 2: go down for a darry. And I was accepted in 94 00:03:40,161 --> 00:03:42,121 Speaker 2: this group because there was always group of kids there's 95 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,201 Speaker 2: always a bad group of kids, you know, I and see. 96 00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:46,321 Speaker 2: But in that circle, these are the kids that don't 97 00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:48,801 Speaker 2: judge you. You know when you're in sport and like that. 98 00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:51,001 Speaker 2: There's there's like levels of this ship, like if you're 99 00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,641 Speaker 2: not good at this, you're not a part of us. 100 00:03:53,081 --> 00:03:55,401 Speaker 2: In this other circle. I had to go back down 101 00:03:55,441 --> 00:03:57,761 Speaker 2: for back, back over, wag, go down for smoke, so 102 00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,121 Speaker 2: things like this. So I fell in love with this 103 00:03:59,121 --> 00:04:01,321 Speaker 2: because then I had a group of friends. So in 104 00:04:01,401 --> 00:04:04,681 Speaker 2: high school my way of group making friends and connections 105 00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:06,841 Speaker 2: had no connections when I was in primary school enough, 106 00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:08,881 Speaker 2: and so when I made friends, it was it was 107 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:09,561 Speaker 2: the best thing in the world. 108 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:10,961 Speaker 1: Did this make you rebel? 109 00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:11,121 Speaker 2: Though? 110 00:04:11,161 --> 00:04:13,201 Speaker 1: Did this make you something? Sound smoking better? 111 00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,201 Speaker 2: This is where it all started. It's like this, this 112 00:04:15,241 --> 00:04:17,881 Speaker 2: is where I thrived because I was like to make friends. 113 00:04:17,921 --> 00:04:20,121 Speaker 2: I'm going to do bad things. And these bad things 114 00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:21,841 Speaker 2: are simple, go wag, walk out of the gate and 115 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,561 Speaker 2: did not give a fuck about teachers, but swear it teachers, rebel, smoke, 116 00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:28,521 Speaker 2: go to school stone and obviously doing all these things 117 00:04:28,521 --> 00:04:30,241 Speaker 2: like you get it, go down the back over for smokes. 118 00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 2: You'll chat in your laugh so you haven't laughed with 119 00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:34,321 Speaker 2: a group of mates my whole life. You know, when 120 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,881 Speaker 2: I'm in high school and I'm starting to get these 121 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 2: connections with these people, and this is my happiness is 122 00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:40,041 Speaker 2: I think you're funk about school. I think you're fuck 123 00:04:40,121 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 2: without my future. I wanted to make friends. Got expelled 124 00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 2: from three schools like I was. I was out of 125 00:04:44,681 --> 00:04:47,521 Speaker 2: school by the study of nine. Ive been expelled from 126 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,681 Speaker 2: three schools already. I was just suspended, and I was 127 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 2: just from wagging fighting everyone like this. And when I 128 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:54,481 Speaker 2: started to hang around these groups of kids, like lads 129 00:04:54,481 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 2: and essays and all the sort of sudden, I was like, 130 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,041 Speaker 2: these groups would go, hey, do you want to come 131 00:04:58,041 --> 00:04:59,761 Speaker 2: over to mine and drink on the weekend. And then 132 00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:02,841 Speaker 2: I'm getting invited to like parties, and I'm like, fuck, yeah, 133 00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:05,361 Speaker 2: like I'm a part of something now you And then 134 00:05:05,401 --> 00:05:07,681 Speaker 2: so I'd go there drink with mates and everybody, so 135 00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:09,881 Speaker 2: I have the best work time ever older then that 136 00:05:09,921 --> 00:05:12,401 Speaker 2: would have been about twelve twelve, eleven twelve years old. 137 00:05:12,641 --> 00:05:15,041 Speaker 1: Eleven twelve years old, and You've gone over to drinks 138 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,121 Speaker 1: some parties and all that kind of shit. 139 00:05:16,201 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: You know. I started, like fuck, I started like heavy 140 00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:21,201 Speaker 2: drugs and I was like I started like like math 141 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,321 Speaker 2: and speed and everything when I was like twelve thirty 142 00:05:23,401 --> 00:05:26,121 Speaker 2: years old, you know. And that's why when we were 143 00:05:26,121 --> 00:05:28,201 Speaker 2: hanging around each other like these things are saying my 144 00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:31,241 Speaker 2: role models with these older brothers and then late twenties, 145 00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:33,201 Speaker 2: early twenties in and out of jail, like lads like 146 00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:35,721 Speaker 2: they're like smoking ice, fucking injected math like all this 147 00:05:35,761 --> 00:05:37,641 Speaker 2: sort of shit that was the scene. Would look up 148 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 2: to them and would always be drunk on the weekends. 149 00:05:39,561 --> 00:05:41,761 Speaker 2: I'd smoke weed, you know these and then but they 150 00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:44,041 Speaker 2: would always come out and they're like fucking like cooked 151 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:45,721 Speaker 2: and shit. I'm like, how can they are drunk? You 152 00:05:45,761 --> 00:05:48,121 Speaker 2: know what I mean? And then like one of the 153 00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:50,001 Speaker 2: older brothers sort of took me under his wing, like 154 00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 2: because I was we have my best mates. Older brother 155 00:05:52,241 --> 00:05:54,321 Speaker 2: was like one of the big older boys there that 156 00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 2: we all looked up to. And I would always be 157 00:05:56,401 --> 00:05:58,161 Speaker 2: over the house on the weekends. I like, hey, bro, 158 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,441 Speaker 2: like this coming over. We made we became good maze. 159 00:06:00,481 --> 00:06:02,361 Speaker 2: But I was a little one. They would always go 160 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,401 Speaker 2: do everything with him, like would go and break and 161 00:06:04,481 --> 00:06:07,041 Speaker 2: edit together, bottle is together, like fucking everything like that. 162 00:06:07,121 --> 00:06:09,921 Speaker 2: Run into service stations, rob take as much stuff as 163 00:06:09,921 --> 00:06:11,481 Speaker 2: we could have. Run like bottle of the same thing, 164 00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:13,881 Speaker 2: running bell the claves on, take bottles of run then 165 00:06:13,961 --> 00:06:15,801 Speaker 2: run out like that was but I was the only 166 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:18,121 Speaker 2: one to do. Everyone else is too scared. But I 167 00:06:18,161 --> 00:06:21,161 Speaker 2: had zero fus. So me and him got really close. 168 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 2: So and he's like, I'm talking like like nearly thirty 169 00:06:24,081 --> 00:06:25,921 Speaker 2: and I'm like twelve, thirteen. 170 00:06:25,721 --> 00:06:28,201 Speaker 3: Years old, you know. And then one night he pulled 171 00:06:28,201 --> 00:06:28,601 Speaker 3: me in the room. 172 00:06:28,641 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: He's like, you have something this, eat this, and you 173 00:06:30,361 --> 00:06:33,001 Speaker 2: had like a note like a night and he pulled 174 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 2: out the stuff and cleek bags. Put this on your 175 00:06:34,681 --> 00:06:36,801 Speaker 2: tongue and me put that on my tongue and I'm like, 176 00:06:36,801 --> 00:06:39,641 Speaker 2: oh fuck that. In the next minute, like im fucking cook. 177 00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 2: Like that was he fed me speed and then that 178 00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:44,241 Speaker 2: was me at twelve years old, you know. And then 179 00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:47,201 Speaker 2: I started taking speed and then that was my next thing. 180 00:06:47,201 --> 00:06:49,161 Speaker 2: Because we sat in the room just like this all night, 181 00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 2: door locked, and I'll dream of having a connection like 182 00:06:51,201 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: this with someone, you know, and we'll sit in the 183 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:54,961 Speaker 2: room off our fucking head all night chat and like 184 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,521 Speaker 2: having big dnms, like talking about life and what we're 185 00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,361 Speaker 2: gonna do together, like where we're gonna rob We're gonna 186 00:06:59,361 --> 00:07:01,361 Speaker 2: do like yeah, we're brothers, like shut hug each other 187 00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:04,561 Speaker 2: and shit like off your fucking head. But I love this, 188 00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:07,001 Speaker 2: you know, this was a connection I never had, being 189 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:09,481 Speaker 2: a part of something getting off my head, having friends, 190 00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:12,601 Speaker 2: being in a circle like these crime, drugs, graffiti, violence. 191 00:07:12,681 --> 00:07:15,121 Speaker 2: This was more important than my family. My family always there. 192 00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:16,921 Speaker 1: What was you brother doing when you see he seen it? 193 00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:20,001 Speaker 2: He did the opposite. He resented me. He was I 194 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,841 Speaker 2: was me and him. He was always the good kid, 195 00:07:21,881 --> 00:07:24,281 Speaker 2: and he'd just be like this. He resented me a 196 00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:26,481 Speaker 2: lot because I'll be sneaking in and I'm like, don't 197 00:07:26,481 --> 00:07:28,041 Speaker 2: telling them, I'm going out, and then he'll tell them 198 00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:30,161 Speaker 2: and I'll like, fuck you your dog, Like you know, I 199 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,881 Speaker 2: took a lot of stuff. I'd never beat him or 200 00:07:31,881 --> 00:07:34,001 Speaker 2: anything like that, but we did have like arguments. He's 201 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,761 Speaker 2: a little but I love my little brother deaf now, 202 00:07:36,161 --> 00:07:37,681 Speaker 2: but back then he was the one I was telling 203 00:07:37,721 --> 00:07:40,041 Speaker 2: on me and in the group I was coming from 204 00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:41,761 Speaker 2: like if you're a dog, you're a snitch training like this, 205 00:07:42,281 --> 00:07:43,761 Speaker 2: you're fucking you're you're med dead. 206 00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:45,281 Speaker 1: To me, you stood a big kid. Then when you 207 00:07:45,321 --> 00:07:46,041 Speaker 1: got to. 208 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,601 Speaker 2: I started losing a bit of weight on the drugs bad. 209 00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:50,081 Speaker 2: That's when I started losing a bit of weight and 210 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,561 Speaker 2: I got pretty lean. Like I got pretty I was 211 00:07:52,561 --> 00:07:54,921 Speaker 2: pretty cracked out because I was using drugs all the time. 212 00:07:54,961 --> 00:07:56,881 Speaker 2: And then because all I do my weekly if to 213 00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:58,761 Speaker 2: be wake up or if when I do wake up, 214 00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:01,161 Speaker 2: go stealing. You know, I would go to Meyer's David 215 00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:03,001 Speaker 2: Jones to go get more drugs, like I go on 216 00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,321 Speaker 2: to MEAs David Jones for like Nord Capolo. I was like, 217 00:08:05,681 --> 00:08:07,201 Speaker 2: you know, I like lad Ship, you know what I mean. 218 00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:09,241 Speaker 2: I'd go in there and I'm going too myers and 219 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,001 Speaker 2: I'll be popping beefers. I had a beeper gun at 220 00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:12,681 Speaker 2: one point where I'll just pop beepers off and then 221 00:08:12,681 --> 00:08:15,081 Speaker 2: I'll just fill up. Like I'll put a bag underneath 222 00:08:15,121 --> 00:08:17,841 Speaker 2: the fucking set of clothes. I tuck it under and 223 00:08:17,841 --> 00:08:20,121 Speaker 2: they'll just roll up shirts fill the bag. I'll get 224 00:08:20,121 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 2: thirty forty polos in this fucking duffle bag and they'll 225 00:08:23,321 --> 00:08:25,161 Speaker 2: just scoop up the bag and then walk out, fucking 226 00:08:25,161 --> 00:08:27,241 Speaker 2: walk out the door and his cruiser with like forty 227 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:28,881 Speaker 2: fifty shirts. Easy. 228 00:08:28,961 --> 00:08:30,561 Speaker 3: I did that on a regular I used to get 229 00:08:30,561 --> 00:08:32,001 Speaker 3: shopping lists from people. 230 00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:33,881 Speaker 2: I used to rub the sunglasses that you're going there 231 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,201 Speaker 2: with a boost juice and then try sunnies on them 232 00:08:36,201 --> 00:08:37,521 Speaker 2: when she's not looking. He put the sonnies in the 233 00:08:37,521 --> 00:08:40,681 Speaker 2: boots juice of his cut like crim shit, you know. 234 00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,161 Speaker 2: But I would go for gear like i'ld go fuck. 235 00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:45,361 Speaker 2: Five grands were of shirts for like one hundred dollar 236 00:08:45,401 --> 00:08:47,481 Speaker 2: point of gear, just one little hit. I was like 237 00:08:47,521 --> 00:08:49,481 Speaker 2: this to get me through that day. Like I was 238 00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:50,881 Speaker 2: just like here full of this. Then I had people 239 00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:52,521 Speaker 2: I could sell it. I could sell meat, like do 240 00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:53,521 Speaker 2: a meat, we're actually going to it. 241 00:08:53,521 --> 00:08:54,521 Speaker 1: How muchre you're making a week? 242 00:08:55,041 --> 00:08:57,161 Speaker 3: I don't know money wise, I was just just spending it. 243 00:08:58,321 --> 00:09:00,041 Speaker 2: Money was never I never did it for money. 244 00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:02,041 Speaker 1: It was just I was just. 245 00:09:01,401 --> 00:09:03,241 Speaker 3: Put my heart to get off my head because I 246 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,401 Speaker 3: was like living on the streets. 247 00:09:04,401 --> 00:09:05,721 Speaker 1: How much we'd take and then how much you were 248 00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:06,241 Speaker 1: taking of that. 249 00:09:06,321 --> 00:09:09,081 Speaker 2: We well, like you get a point and it will 250 00:09:09,121 --> 00:09:10,641 Speaker 2: last me day at that point, so the points sounded 251 00:09:10,641 --> 00:09:12,881 Speaker 2: like one hundred bucks on heavy using. But that point, 252 00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:15,521 Speaker 2: but then when I started using more regularly, you'd go 253 00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:17,641 Speaker 2: through a ball a day or like you use a 254 00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:19,361 Speaker 2: fucking at the end of the week, you're going through 255 00:09:19,361 --> 00:09:20,801 Speaker 2: a quarter a half an hour, it's a gear or 256 00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:23,241 Speaker 2: something like that, like eating points all day or two points. 257 00:09:23,241 --> 00:09:26,681 Speaker 2: And then when I started smoking ice, it's fucking there's 258 00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:27,201 Speaker 2: game over. 259 00:09:27,281 --> 00:09:29,241 Speaker 4: Like none of the boys around you, who you're doing 260 00:09:29,241 --> 00:09:31,001 Speaker 4: the robin, we've seen you getting out of control. 261 00:09:31,081 --> 00:09:35,121 Speaker 3: Or they looked at that whole scene like that was normal. 262 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:36,721 Speaker 2: There was no one to be like. 263 00:09:37,521 --> 00:09:39,521 Speaker 1: But they live with their parents too, No. 264 00:09:39,841 --> 00:09:42,601 Speaker 2: Yeah, some some would live. Yeah, we had houses we 265 00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:44,641 Speaker 2: stayed at, but like the mom didn't really give a function, 266 00:09:44,721 --> 00:09:47,081 Speaker 2: getting on the rugs with us. Things like that. That 267 00:09:47,201 --> 00:09:47,601 Speaker 2: was the whole. 268 00:09:47,641 --> 00:09:49,321 Speaker 3: Women're just stealing fighting. 269 00:09:49,361 --> 00:09:49,961 Speaker 2: I was my whole. 270 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,041 Speaker 3: That's how I grew up. It was just off metal times. 271 00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:56,761 Speaker 2: Stealing violence is like fighting on weekends, painting trains, painting 272 00:09:56,881 --> 00:10:00,281 Speaker 2: like I love graffeiting. I still love reffeeding. I love it. 273 00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:02,201 Speaker 2: It's like a part like you get off your head. 274 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:04,321 Speaker 2: You sit there on sketching a book all night in 275 00:10:04,321 --> 00:10:06,241 Speaker 2: the sunrise up and you're like, oh the fuck, and 276 00:10:06,281 --> 00:10:08,081 Speaker 2: you meant to go out graffitio, paint a train, or 277 00:10:08,121 --> 00:10:09,841 Speaker 2: go paint something that night, but you get lost in 278 00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:13,001 Speaker 2: this book because yeah, a lot of people relate to 279 00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:16,161 Speaker 2: that if you get graffiti and everything, but like that's 280 00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:19,041 Speaker 2: the whole scene. And then after I was using from 281 00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:22,081 Speaker 2: what twelve or up til abouts I was eighteen, and 282 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,401 Speaker 2: then I started seeing this chick. Started seeing this chick 283 00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:25,481 Speaker 2: that I was hanging around. It was just getting on 284 00:10:25,481 --> 00:10:27,121 Speaker 2: the drugs and she wasn't healthy, you know, it was 285 00:10:27,161 --> 00:10:30,241 Speaker 2: just but I started to get comfortable with her. So 286 00:10:30,521 --> 00:10:32,761 Speaker 2: I started to get real fat. I started to fucking 287 00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,361 Speaker 2: hate myself. I wasn't a part of the boys, and 288 00:10:34,641 --> 00:10:37,041 Speaker 2: so I'm like, fucking seilad a bitch, I'm out. 289 00:10:37,401 --> 00:10:39,521 Speaker 3: I'm going back to the boys. See I'm done. 290 00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:42,081 Speaker 2: So I broken off with her and then started going 291 00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:44,041 Speaker 2: back out with the boys, started paying, started doing whateverthing 292 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,401 Speaker 2: I love again, fighting, just having fun. That was fun 293 00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:49,761 Speaker 2: to me, you know. And then while I was drinking 294 00:10:49,761 --> 00:10:52,921 Speaker 2: by night at this gil Hoolies pub with the boys 295 00:10:52,921 --> 00:10:56,441 Speaker 2: and that, and then they got a message saying that 296 00:10:56,561 --> 00:10:59,601 Speaker 2: you misses out with two of my mates. So meant 297 00:10:59,601 --> 00:11:01,361 Speaker 2: to be two of my mates, and she's hooking up 298 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,241 Speaker 2: with one of them. She's kissing, like getting with them 299 00:11:03,241 --> 00:11:03,561 Speaker 2: and shit. 300 00:11:04,201 --> 00:11:06,121 Speaker 3: And to me, like I'm all about loyalty. 301 00:11:06,121 --> 00:11:08,361 Speaker 2: That was my whole thing. I was the most loyal person, 302 00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:11,041 Speaker 2: like I have fought for these guys, like I've stolen 303 00:11:11,121 --> 00:11:12,721 Speaker 2: from them. I'll put fucking roof over the head when 304 00:11:12,721 --> 00:11:15,001 Speaker 2: they didn't have shit, I'll get them stuff, like I'd 305 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,681 Speaker 2: steal them stuff so they could eat. I was like 306 00:11:17,161 --> 00:11:19,361 Speaker 2: I was always for my mates, like I was always 307 00:11:19,361 --> 00:11:21,241 Speaker 2: for my brothers, anyone who they were like family to me, 308 00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:23,041 Speaker 2: you know, and I would do anything for them, and 309 00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:24,881 Speaker 2: I always did. I always wanted to throw the first 310 00:11:24,881 --> 00:11:26,801 Speaker 2: punch when they were too scared. I was one of 311 00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:28,681 Speaker 2: someone was picking on them, old stand up and that 312 00:11:28,761 --> 00:11:32,081 Speaker 2: sort of shit, like brotherhood, loyalty. That was me, one 313 00:11:32,161 --> 00:11:34,641 Speaker 2: hundreds of and through. So when I found out they 314 00:11:34,681 --> 00:11:37,521 Speaker 2: did this to me, I just seen fucking red and 315 00:11:37,561 --> 00:11:38,241 Speaker 2: I was fat again. 316 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,281 Speaker 3: I fucking hated myself and I was just like fucking I. 317 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,361 Speaker 2: Just wanted to go kill these cans and everyone's And 318 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,081 Speaker 2: then I ended up just breaking there and crying in 319 00:11:44,841 --> 00:11:47,681 Speaker 2: this car park near mom, like in Guilhilly's terms, which 320 00:11:47,681 --> 00:11:49,601 Speaker 2: was close to my parents' house. I was just everything 321 00:11:49,721 --> 00:11:51,601 Speaker 2: was fell apart. Because when you're in the scene, you 322 00:11:51,641 --> 00:11:53,401 Speaker 2: get on a little time, you really your mental health 323 00:11:53,441 --> 00:11:55,761 Speaker 2: doesn't come into it, you know, like you don't come 324 00:11:55,801 --> 00:11:57,641 Speaker 2: because I never came down, bro, I never had colm 325 00:11:57,681 --> 00:11:59,801 Speaker 2: downs because I was always fucking high, you know, and 326 00:11:59,921 --> 00:12:02,641 Speaker 2: your mental health only starts getting bad later, like you 327 00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:04,361 Speaker 2: don't like have your first piping. 328 00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:07,201 Speaker 3: Oh my god, meant to states fun after a long time. 329 00:12:07,841 --> 00:12:10,921 Speaker 2: So I guess over time and when this happened, all 330 00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:12,761 Speaker 2: these emotions come up because obviously I'm going through the 331 00:12:12,761 --> 00:12:14,441 Speaker 2: break up as well. I was going through this, and 332 00:12:14,481 --> 00:12:16,961 Speaker 2: then I haven't seen my family in fucking years, like 333 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,121 Speaker 2: you know, I mean mylne's sleeping couches, Like what am 334 00:12:19,161 --> 00:12:20,961 Speaker 2: I doing? And I was fat again. I hated myself 335 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,441 Speaker 2: so and the trauma of me being fat as a kid, 336 00:12:23,521 --> 00:12:25,561 Speaker 2: like I've just got fat, and I was insecure again. 337 00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:29,601 Speaker 2: So I just broke down crying. And then something made 338 00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:31,521 Speaker 2: me this my parents' house lived just up the road, 339 00:12:31,841 --> 00:12:33,721 Speaker 2: and so I'm like to go back to my dad's. 340 00:12:33,761 --> 00:12:35,681 Speaker 3: I was just fucking drunk, crime just walk back up 341 00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:36,321 Speaker 3: to mom and dads. 342 00:12:36,361 --> 00:12:38,281 Speaker 2: And when I went back up to mom and dads, 343 00:12:38,281 --> 00:12:40,361 Speaker 2: I got like around the corner and I was just 344 00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:41,881 Speaker 2: like what am I meant to say to my mom 345 00:12:41,921 --> 00:12:44,601 Speaker 2: and dad? I mean, like I haven't seen them in years, 346 00:12:44,641 --> 00:12:46,881 Speaker 2: like I've heard them. I like I've been on the 347 00:12:46,921 --> 00:12:48,801 Speaker 2: Missing Persons and so I don't even see me. What 348 00:12:48,881 --> 00:12:51,041 Speaker 2: I meant to do, like I'll go up and just 349 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,401 Speaker 2: tell them all this shit. And I was just like, 350 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:56,841 Speaker 2: fuck this. So and I've obviously really hurt from all 351 00:12:56,841 --> 00:12:58,441 Speaker 2: the other stuff that's going on. And I went over 352 00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:00,441 Speaker 2: to the school because at school across the road from 353 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,521 Speaker 2: my dads, that's where I started drinking when I was 354 00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:04,801 Speaker 2: a kid, and graffiti as a kid, and everything like 355 00:13:04,841 --> 00:13:08,041 Speaker 2: this started getting in that, like so when the school 356 00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:10,081 Speaker 2: used to I used to drink up on this rooftop 357 00:13:10,361 --> 00:13:12,081 Speaker 2: and I was just up there just crying and crying 358 00:13:12,081 --> 00:13:14,881 Speaker 2: and crying. And then I can't see my mom and dad. 359 00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:16,561 Speaker 2: I can't see them. I've hurt them my whole life. 360 00:13:16,721 --> 00:13:19,241 Speaker 2: All my mates. I thought my brothers, they were meant 361 00:13:19,241 --> 00:13:20,721 Speaker 2: to be there for me and my loyalty. They were 362 00:13:20,721 --> 00:13:22,481 Speaker 2: fucking spat in my face and I've got no one. 363 00:13:22,521 --> 00:13:24,841 Speaker 2: I'm alone. I fatters fucking I fucking hate myself. 364 00:13:25,441 --> 00:13:27,241 Speaker 3: And then I tried jumping off the roof. I tried 365 00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,121 Speaker 3: taking my own life, and I was. 366 00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:30,681 Speaker 2: Like, hey need and then yeah, and then I came 367 00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:33,601 Speaker 2: to after doing that and I just woke up. My 368 00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:37,121 Speaker 2: bank was fucked, and I was just like, I walked 369 00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:43,121 Speaker 2: across the road to mom and dads, right yeah. Then 370 00:13:43,161 --> 00:13:44,841 Speaker 2: I walked across their own back back to mom and 371 00:13:44,961 --> 00:13:47,121 Speaker 2: dads and it's knocked on the door and told them 372 00:13:47,161 --> 00:13:49,841 Speaker 2: what happened, and that Mom and dad just like what 373 00:13:49,881 --> 00:13:52,041 Speaker 2: the fuck? You know what I mean, Like, are you 374 00:13:52,121 --> 00:13:54,681 Speaker 2: fucking serious? Old I tried taking my life And I 375 00:13:54,721 --> 00:13:56,001 Speaker 2: was just like, well, I don't know what to do. 376 00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:58,001 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, and I was broke down to them. 377 00:13:58,641 --> 00:14:01,241 Speaker 2: The plan was my dad was working over in christ 378 00:14:01,361 --> 00:14:05,241 Speaker 2: Church on the rebuilding for Like Builders and doing everything there. 379 00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:06,761 Speaker 2: So the plan was and I was like, I'm done. 380 00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:08,361 Speaker 2: I'm fucking done this life. I need to get out 381 00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:11,281 Speaker 2: of here, like you know, just fucking after that, I 382 00:14:11,281 --> 00:14:12,801 Speaker 2: need to make a change. I'm like, I got to 383 00:14:12,881 --> 00:14:13,641 Speaker 2: change the life. 384 00:14:14,161 --> 00:14:15,801 Speaker 3: And then the plan was that I go over to 385 00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:18,321 Speaker 3: christ Church to help Dad with the rebuild. 386 00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:20,201 Speaker 2: Get over there, get off the drugs, get off everything, 387 00:14:20,281 --> 00:14:22,241 Speaker 2: you start come to start changing my life. And I did. 388 00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:25,161 Speaker 3: So I went over christ Church with Dad, started working 389 00:14:25,161 --> 00:14:26,201 Speaker 3: with him, got healthy, got fit. 390 00:14:26,281 --> 00:14:28,681 Speaker 2: One of his building mates was a like an into 391 00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,641 Speaker 2: bodybuilding and stuff. He did me up a meal plan 392 00:14:30,761 --> 00:14:32,361 Speaker 2: and he said here, just go do this, and the 393 00:14:32,361 --> 00:14:34,321 Speaker 2: gym gave me a little program and I was going there. 394 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,041 Speaker 3: Morning and afternoon training. I was working during the day and. 395 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,561 Speaker 2: I was about one hundred and twenty one kilos when 396 00:14:38,561 --> 00:14:40,681 Speaker 2: I went over there, and then I lost about forty 397 00:14:40,721 --> 00:14:43,081 Speaker 2: two kilos. I come down on what it was I 398 00:14:43,281 --> 00:14:45,841 Speaker 2: b with down around seventies. So I took about forty 399 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:49,041 Speaker 2: plus kilos over there. Was feeling good, have my abs out, 400 00:14:49,161 --> 00:14:51,481 Speaker 2: feeling fucking me again. I'm like, fuck, yeah, I feel awesome. 401 00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:53,561 Speaker 2: I'm like when I started getting back on social media 402 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,521 Speaker 2: over in christ Church, I started looking and seeing all 403 00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:58,521 Speaker 2: people were out at club them and having fun, and 404 00:14:58,641 --> 00:15:00,081 Speaker 2: like all mates of mine were going out and they 405 00:15:00,201 --> 00:15:03,161 Speaker 2: having like birthday parties and groups of mates doing that, 406 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,201 Speaker 2: and I'm like, fuck, I'm missing out of line. I 407 00:15:05,201 --> 00:15:06,561 Speaker 2: want to go back and show over run. 408 00:15:06,401 --> 00:15:08,561 Speaker 1: That I've changed, you know, I've seen boys. 409 00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:11,681 Speaker 2: Yeah, no people I didn't know. There were people that 410 00:15:11,721 --> 00:15:13,121 Speaker 2: were in the scene that I know, and there was 411 00:15:13,161 --> 00:15:14,801 Speaker 2: other people that knew like I knew everyone, like I 412 00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:17,681 Speaker 2: knew everyone from just being a part of any parties 413 00:15:17,681 --> 00:15:20,481 Speaker 2: and ship, but I seem like in a way respectable 414 00:15:20,481 --> 00:15:21,801 Speaker 2: people going out. 415 00:15:22,041 --> 00:15:24,361 Speaker 3: And then I was like, fuck, I started looking good 416 00:15:24,361 --> 00:15:25,161 Speaker 3: and I said, I'm like, I'm. 417 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:26,361 Speaker 2: Going to go back and show over, and I've changed 418 00:15:26,401 --> 00:15:28,001 Speaker 2: everyone who dared to me, the people who stabbed me 419 00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:29,921 Speaker 2: in the back, actually everyone they can I'll get fucking 420 00:15:29,961 --> 00:15:31,761 Speaker 2: we come back. I'm looking mad on the show over, 421 00:15:31,801 --> 00:15:33,441 Speaker 2: and it was not going to be my comeback. I 422 00:15:33,441 --> 00:15:35,041 Speaker 2: told Dad, I'm like, I'm done, man, I'm going to 423 00:15:35,121 --> 00:15:36,881 Speaker 2: go home and change my life. You know, I'm see 424 00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:38,761 Speaker 2: later on fucking And he's like, god, I don't think 425 00:15:38,761 --> 00:15:41,481 Speaker 2: it's a good idea. This is like four months, three 426 00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:44,441 Speaker 2: four months. And he's just like, I don't think it's 427 00:15:44,441 --> 00:15:46,601 Speaker 2: a good idea. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck. 428 00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:48,161 Speaker 2: I'm like kind I've always done on a one. I'm 429 00:15:48,161 --> 00:15:50,201 Speaker 2: getting a playing asa, like I got money, I'm getting 430 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:53,161 Speaker 2: my own plane. And anyway, I went home, came home 431 00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:56,241 Speaker 2: and then started going out with mates on the weekend, 432 00:15:56,281 --> 00:15:58,521 Speaker 2: like when in just the reunited with like a better 433 00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,841 Speaker 2: group of mates, obviously not the ones I was getting 434 00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:02,601 Speaker 2: on the streets and doing all the crime and but 435 00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:04,641 Speaker 2: the different mates and we started just you didn't come 436 00:16:04,641 --> 00:16:07,921 Speaker 2: across the Yeah, I've come across from every now and again, 437 00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:10,761 Speaker 2: but not really because i'd bump him on like out 438 00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:12,521 Speaker 2: in a club somewhere and they're off their head or something. 439 00:16:12,641 --> 00:16:15,521 Speaker 3: Not really the whole scene, because that's like graffiti in houses. 440 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,521 Speaker 1: The one who got on with your ex. You never 441 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,241 Speaker 1: came across him. I was waiting for you, somebody you 442 00:16:20,241 --> 00:16:20,441 Speaker 1: want to. 443 00:16:24,161 --> 00:16:27,961 Speaker 2: I just like see yeah, like if that happened, I 444 00:16:27,961 --> 00:16:30,201 Speaker 2: was just like, I'll get yeah, it just was. 445 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,921 Speaker 3: I just never actually seen them again. I actually never 446 00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:33,401 Speaker 3: bumped him. 447 00:16:33,921 --> 00:16:34,161 Speaker 1: Something. 448 00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:37,801 Speaker 2: Never actually thought till right now, I've never bumped either 449 00:16:37,801 --> 00:16:40,561 Speaker 2: of them, never bumped either of them in my holes, 450 00:16:40,641 --> 00:16:44,841 Speaker 2: even to the top of my list, and then straight 451 00:16:44,841 --> 00:16:48,481 Speaker 2: back in and out. Like when I was young, assault 452 00:16:48,561 --> 00:16:51,201 Speaker 2: charges suspended sentences like I was on. Had a lot 453 00:16:51,201 --> 00:16:52,681 Speaker 2: of charges when I was younger, so I knew I 454 00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:56,241 Speaker 2: was on anyway. So but I came back and I 455 00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:58,281 Speaker 2: was just started like coming out on weekends like everyone's 456 00:16:58,281 --> 00:16:59,841 Speaker 2: going out club and I was going to drinking. See, 457 00:17:00,161 --> 00:17:03,121 Speaker 2: drinking was never my problem. You know, drinking was not 458 00:17:03,281 --> 00:17:05,801 Speaker 2: ice and smoking ice and doing speed. That's it's fine. 459 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,241 Speaker 2: I wasn't drinking doesn't lead to me being on the streets, 460 00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 2: getting fight stealing and all that sort of ship drinking 461 00:17:10,481 --> 00:17:12,801 Speaker 2: and get me to the point where I killed myself. Okay, 462 00:17:12,961 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 2: ice and speed got me there, So as long as 463 00:17:14,761 --> 00:17:17,121 Speaker 2: it's not ice and speed, it's okay. You know, That's 464 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 2: what I in my mindset. So that's why I was 465 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 2: justifying drinking. So then I started going out every weekend 466 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 2: when I was coming back coming back, So I was 467 00:17:24,201 --> 00:17:26,360 Speaker 2: going out every weekend, drinking every weekend. And obviously when 468 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,641 Speaker 2: you're going out club and shit, PingER has come out 469 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,521 Speaker 2: and out fucking dogs. But in the head, you know 470 00:17:30,561 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 2: what I mean, it's like it's still not Iceland. It's 471 00:17:32,481 --> 00:17:35,761 Speaker 2: not speed, so it's okay for me, So justifying doing 472 00:17:35,801 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 2: all that. So I started eating Pingers every week and 473 00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:40,400 Speaker 2: going out and doing that, and I was like, yeah, sweet. 474 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 2: And then obviously cocaine comes out and I'm like me up, 475 00:17:44,281 --> 00:17:47,001 Speaker 2: you know, I mean, it's but see, even cocaine, it's 476 00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 2: like it's the Richmond bus. 477 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,441 Speaker 3: That's like justifying in my head as well, drinking pills. 478 00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:56,561 Speaker 2: Cocaine is okay, speed and ice is not. It's like, 479 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,281 Speaker 2: who the fuck is you going to go into a 480 00:17:58,321 --> 00:18:02,400 Speaker 2: school until that kids, but in my head, I was 481 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,321 Speaker 2: looking for something to justify it. It's okay, and I 482 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,440 Speaker 2: was working a full time job. I was render his laborer, 483 00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 2: so I was working during the week, going out on 484 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 2: the weekend. And this was balance, like workload balance, you 485 00:18:11,441 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 2: know what I mean. And I was like, okay, sweet. 486 00:18:13,441 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 2: And then obviously the mates ILD was going out with, 487 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,761 Speaker 2: I started to meet people out, and so I met 488 00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:19,161 Speaker 2: people out, and then obviously groups of mates I didn't 489 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,041 Speaker 2: meet out with the ones that were selling pills, you know, 490 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: and they were the ones with the booth, and they 491 00:18:22,761 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 2: were the ones with the bottles and the VIP, and 492 00:18:25,201 --> 00:18:27,241 Speaker 2: I'm like fucking going in there with them. I'm like, fuck, 493 00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 2: this is life now, you know what I mean, Like mad, 494 00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 2: like in their VIP, like everyone liked some pills. Yeah me, 495 00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:34,401 Speaker 2: you want you know what I mean. Old people start 496 00:18:34,441 --> 00:18:35,920 Speaker 2: coming up to me because there'll be the middle man. 497 00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:37,761 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, yeah, sweet, they're fucking twenty five and 498 00:18:37,761 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 2: I'm getting for twenty and I'm yep, sweet, I'll get 499 00:18:39,481 --> 00:18:41,761 Speaker 2: my own free pill. He see you later. So then 500 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,921 Speaker 2: I started to becoming an entrepreneur. Okay, I started to make 501 00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:47,201 Speaker 2: my little profit every time, but then to me, I'm 502 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,880 Speaker 2: getting like one hundred, two hundred people come up to 503 00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 2: me every night in the club asking me for pills, 504 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,321 Speaker 2: and I'm going and telling them for my mate. 505 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,041 Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not something comes fucking deal. I'm going 506 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:55,801 Speaker 3: to deal myself. 507 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,521 Speaker 2: So they just started off getting a ten pack of pills, 508 00:18:58,521 --> 00:19:00,481 Speaker 2: went out that night, sold in like fucking this week, 509 00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I need to get more, you know 510 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,641 Speaker 2: what I mean, And then got one hundred pack went 511 00:19:04,681 --> 00:19:06,640 Speaker 2: out sold that night, you know what I mean. And 512 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,321 Speaker 2: I'm just didn't. I was never I never got into 513 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,721 Speaker 2: selling drugs to make money. Selling drugs was to get 514 00:19:12,761 --> 00:19:15,521 Speaker 2: the booth to shout everyone drinks, to go to kick 515 00:19:15,561 --> 00:19:17,961 Speaker 2: goings and fucking. And then I'd start selling hundred pills 516 00:19:17,961 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 2: and I'd take out a thousand packet there. But then 517 00:19:19,921 --> 00:19:22,761 Speaker 2: I started snorting heaps of cocaine. That's when I started 518 00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:24,481 Speaker 2: getting real bad on the racks, sporting heats of racks. 519 00:19:24,481 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 2: And then I was going out like Friday, Saturday night, 520 00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:29,521 Speaker 2: two nights, recovering Sunday, rocking to work fucked up. And 521 00:19:29,521 --> 00:19:31,481 Speaker 2: then once I started selling a bit, I was making 522 00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:33,001 Speaker 2: heaps of money, you know what I mean. I would 523 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,920 Speaker 2: make five five rand a night when I'm out of 524 00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:37,721 Speaker 2: the clubs and I'm making a thousand bucks a week 525 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:40,561 Speaker 2: picking up rendering buckets, walking a job site. Fucking some 526 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:45,001 Speaker 2: Italian can't fucking I'm like, tell me what to do, 527 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 2: kind of live my own life, just like the whole 528 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,521 Speaker 2: thing with even my parents telling me what to do, 529 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,761 Speaker 2: a throaty something. I'd always hate it. So I'm getting 530 00:19:50,761 --> 00:19:53,041 Speaker 2: told of doing a job site, I'm like, you know 531 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 2: what I mean. So I'm like, god, quick, come, you 532 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:57,561 Speaker 2: know what I mean, I'm fucking quick. I've got money, 533 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,680 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. I didn't even think like 534 00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 2: holding out the job is probably a good idea for me, 535 00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:02,801 Speaker 2: you know what i mean. Like, So by that time, 536 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 2: I started obviously selling pill and selling a bit of 537 00:20:06,481 --> 00:20:08,360 Speaker 2: cocaine on the side to support my habit, and I'll 538 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 2: be just going out weekends. So now my business, my 539 00:20:11,281 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 2: working hours was Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday, and then 540 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,241 Speaker 2: I'd just be coming down and feel like shit during 541 00:20:16,241 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 2: the week anyway, and then my parents obviously see me 542 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,561 Speaker 2: going downhill and they're like the fuck are you doing? 543 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,521 Speaker 2: Like you come back, you change, and now you're just 544 00:20:22,561 --> 00:20:24,801 Speaker 2: you're falling back into old habits, and I'm like, fuck off, 545 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,241 Speaker 2: what do you know? You know? You don't, you don't. 546 00:20:26,441 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 2: Fucking I'm living my life. I'm fine. I've got money, 547 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,761 Speaker 2: and I'm justifying because I got cash and I'm doing 548 00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:33,481 Speaker 2: nothing with my life and selling drugs on the weekend, 549 00:20:33,561 --> 00:20:35,121 Speaker 2: getting the fights, getting in trouble. 550 00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 3: Again like that, but I'm justifying it's okay. 551 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,121 Speaker 2: Because I got you know what I mean. So at 552 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,961 Speaker 2: some point Mum did sit me and my brother down, 553 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 2: and this is while I was going out every weekend 554 00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 2: and stuff of this, sitting in a room and she 555 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,561 Speaker 2: sat me and my brother and my dad down and 556 00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,801 Speaker 2: then she told her she's got she's got terminal cancer. 557 00:20:49,961 --> 00:20:52,321 Speaker 2: So she sat down and she said, look, we were cancer. 558 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 2: Mum said I've got cancer. 559 00:20:54,681 --> 00:20:57,160 Speaker 3: And I sat there and it was just like I 560 00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:58,041 Speaker 3: didn't even really take. 561 00:20:57,921 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 2: It in because I was fucking I was like in 562 00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 2: chock and She's just like look and it's. 563 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,521 Speaker 3: Like my lf fry both. So it's like a rare 564 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,201 Speaker 3: form of cancer. 565 00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:05,681 Speaker 2: It's not like breast cancer you go get a cut 566 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:09,281 Speaker 2: out or whatever happens whatever. This is like blood cancer 567 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 2: through a bone marrow. So it was like a rare 568 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,761 Speaker 2: form of lachmi, so you can't do any So how 569 00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:17,400 Speaker 2: I dealt with that and how I've always dealt with 570 00:21:17,441 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 2: everything in my life was get fucked up by a 571 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,281 Speaker 2: couple of answers to rack downstairs. I'm like, I'm gone 572 00:21:22,921 --> 00:21:24,521 Speaker 2: stalk cocaine, you know what I mean? Like this is 573 00:21:24,561 --> 00:21:26,081 Speaker 2: going to make me. I'm like, I didn't even cry 574 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,321 Speaker 2: about it when Mum told me the first time. Didn't 575 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 2: I tea nothing, like, I was just numb to it. 576 00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:33,281 Speaker 2: I was just in shock after Mum told us that news. 577 00:21:33,281 --> 00:21:35,001 Speaker 2: I would just start using every night, Like i'ld be 578 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,721 Speaker 2: snorting rack by the time the boys would come over 579 00:21:37,761 --> 00:21:40,201 Speaker 2: on Friday. I'm awake five days already, can't there there? 580 00:21:40,201 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 2: Like I'd start as long as I stayed awake on 581 00:21:42,441 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 2: smoke and ice was about thirteen days when I was younger, 582 00:21:45,441 --> 00:21:47,680 Speaker 2: and then long as I started awake on cocaine was 583 00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 2: about ten days straight no sleep. 584 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,801 Speaker 3: The snorting rack pure racked as bang bang like, and 585 00:21:52,921 --> 00:21:54,001 Speaker 3: that was like normal for me. 586 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,321 Speaker 1: But so what was it like nowhere on the police 587 00:21:56,321 --> 00:21:58,241 Speaker 1: trade off for you? Now when you were heavily on it. 588 00:21:58,441 --> 00:22:01,400 Speaker 2: They didn't know I was dealing much until a bit later, 589 00:22:01,681 --> 00:22:03,881 Speaker 2: but obviously someone fucking would have dogged me into something. 590 00:22:03,921 --> 00:22:05,640 Speaker 2: But I never really got un for dealing. 591 00:22:05,961 --> 00:22:07,681 Speaker 1: So by this time when you when you were doing 592 00:22:07,721 --> 00:22:11,521 Speaker 1: the coke, had you done time prior? Now the time yet? 593 00:22:11,561 --> 00:22:14,281 Speaker 2: Fucking no, that's what I thought. I was bull Fuck yeah. 594 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 3: So I had a big string of charges from when 595 00:22:16,561 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 3: I was younger. 596 00:22:17,521 --> 00:22:19,160 Speaker 2: Like if you see in my crime sheet, I've got 597 00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:22,561 Speaker 2: fucking charges going to my asshole, thirty forty charges I sault. 598 00:22:22,561 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 3: It's not as minor stuff and will heaps of stuff. 599 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,761 Speaker 2: And then but like that's why I thought I was 600 00:22:26,801 --> 00:22:29,881 Speaker 2: impossibly invincible because I was always a slap on the rea. 601 00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:33,360 Speaker 2: So what is it suspended sentence buying or a slap on? 602 00:22:34,201 --> 00:22:36,281 Speaker 2: Just a conviction recorded or something like that. Like I 603 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 2: never got charged until I started to get my first 604 00:22:39,321 --> 00:22:41,281 Speaker 2: So I started having my first raids and stuff like 605 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,680 Speaker 2: that when I was because after I started using a 606 00:22:43,761 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 2: home affair bit, mama's mom and dad were like, what 607 00:22:45,721 --> 00:22:46,401 Speaker 2: the fuck are you doing? 608 00:22:46,481 --> 00:22:48,801 Speaker 3: Can't like we know you're off your head. Like I'm like, no, 609 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 3: I'm not, you know what I mean. But then that's 610 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 3: why I'm like, fuck you, Like just like a ran 611 00:22:53,481 --> 00:22:55,001 Speaker 3: away when I was a kid, I'm like, I'm moving out. 612 00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,400 Speaker 2: No, I didn't care. I literally forgot that my mom 613 00:22:57,481 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 2: made cancer. You know, I was too off my fucking head. 614 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,200 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm moving out. You know, I've got all 615 00:23:01,241 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 2: this money I had. I started heaps some money because 616 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,161 Speaker 2: I was selling heap. So I was like, I don't 617 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,801 Speaker 2: need to be because by the time I was sporting 618 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,761 Speaker 2: drugs at home, selling drugs. This was at home in 619 00:23:07,801 --> 00:23:10,281 Speaker 2: my mom and dad's house. I'm selling drug swim a 620 00:23:10,321 --> 00:23:11,761 Speaker 2: letter box at my mom and dad's house. Comes with 621 00:23:11,801 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 2: putting a letter box, you leave the money in there. No, 622 00:23:15,001 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 2: that was at mums and then smart idea. But the 623 00:23:17,281 --> 00:23:19,041 Speaker 2: worst idea I ever had was moving out of that 624 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:22,561 Speaker 2: house because then I got this penhouse in Brisbane. It 625 00:23:22,721 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 2: was just a fucking crack or crowds bro. We turned 626 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,561 Speaker 2: into anod drug lab. Bro. I was like, went in 627 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,961 Speaker 2: there and it was this fucking me and a mate 628 00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:30,961 Speaker 2: renting it bro, and we just fucking I was just 629 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,801 Speaker 2: snorting and smoking drugs and there every day of the week, 630 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,400 Speaker 2: going the casino in the middle of the night. And 631 00:23:35,521 --> 00:23:37,001 Speaker 2: I was just selling rack out of my house and 632 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 2: give a fuck, like yeah, come upstairs, bro, buzz up. 633 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 2: And then when I started to wig out and get 634 00:23:40,441 --> 00:23:43,001 Speaker 2: a bit paranoid, I'll be dropping bags downstairs and I've 635 00:23:43,041 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 2: wigging out, and obviously my neighbors are like this crack, 636 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 2: like my little side bag and my glasses, I'm a 637 00:23:48,921 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 2: Louis glass stairs the middle of the night, like this 638 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,801 Speaker 2: comes fucking cook. Like if I look at me back 639 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 2: then now it'd be like go to bed. But I 640 00:23:56,761 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 2: thought I was sweet, because the one thing you convince 641 00:23:58,921 --> 00:24:00,721 Speaker 2: yourself when you're that deep and addiction and getting on 642 00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:02,521 Speaker 2: it and stuff, is that you're okay. In the mirror, 643 00:24:02,521 --> 00:24:06,920 Speaker 2: You're like, I'm fucking sweet. Splash water, Okay, sweet, I 644 00:24:06,961 --> 00:24:08,801 Speaker 2: can handle it, you know. And then you're fucking more 645 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,281 Speaker 2: fun when as soon as you have to tell yourself 646 00:24:10,321 --> 00:24:12,480 Speaker 2: you're sweet, game over, Bro, you're fucked. 647 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,241 Speaker 3: So and then over time, obviously someone drugs out of 648 00:24:15,241 --> 00:24:17,521 Speaker 3: his house and on this and then this is when I. 649 00:24:17,521 --> 00:24:21,321 Speaker 2: Was snorting cocaine. But then overtime with cocaine, obviously my 650 00:24:21,481 --> 00:24:23,281 Speaker 2: accept them was fucked. I didn't have a sept and 651 00:24:23,321 --> 00:24:25,881 Speaker 2: my septom's gone, Bro, I don't have a middle part 652 00:24:25,921 --> 00:24:28,201 Speaker 2: of my nose got eaten away from cocaine. So every 653 00:24:28,281 --> 00:24:30,441 Speaker 2: day when I would wake up after cocaine, like snort 654 00:24:30,441 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 2: and rack for a couple of days, I'd blow my 655 00:24:31,961 --> 00:24:34,041 Speaker 2: nose and there'll be big balls of blood that it 656 00:24:34,041 --> 00:24:36,160 Speaker 2: will come out of my old press the you know, 657 00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:39,441 Speaker 2: the little saline shoot the salt water on one side, 658 00:24:39,481 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 2: and I. 659 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,681 Speaker 3: Kind nothing will come out of this side. The next 660 00:24:42,721 --> 00:24:43,881 Speaker 3: minute rip and I'd. 661 00:24:43,721 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 2: Feel it tear off the back of my face is 662 00:24:45,961 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 2: big scab of blood and it would just come out 663 00:24:48,281 --> 00:24:50,761 Speaker 2: in my nose and start bleeding. But that was because 664 00:24:50,801 --> 00:24:52,241 Speaker 2: my nose is blocked. I did that. But this is 665 00:24:52,281 --> 00:24:54,641 Speaker 2: the mindset I had, right, I said, when that cut 666 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 2: is opening my face, this is the best time to 667 00:24:58,481 --> 00:25:02,521 Speaker 2: snort cocaine. It goes straight my blood stream. What a 668 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,001 Speaker 2: fucking idiot. But that's how I'm brain process, bro. I'm like, 669 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 2: this is going to also. As soon as I'll blow 670 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,361 Speaker 2: that out, I'll quickly go and rack up a line 671 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,081 Speaker 2: and snort it up there and burn. I'm like, oh 672 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,721 Speaker 2: I can't, but I was like, fuck, yeah, that's a 673 00:25:13,761 --> 00:25:18,400 Speaker 2: better hit. It's junkie. A't fuck that's fucked off. But 674 00:25:18,561 --> 00:25:20,681 Speaker 2: like that's how my mindset work. But then over time 675 00:25:20,721 --> 00:25:22,641 Speaker 2: I'll get anxious, and I was eating volumes as sign 676 00:25:22,761 --> 00:25:24,241 Speaker 2: zan accident at least, like i'd have a line and 677 00:25:24,241 --> 00:25:26,441 Speaker 2: I have half a little value like in my top drawer, 678 00:25:26,521 --> 00:25:28,521 Speaker 2: like always bought in bulk, like I was like never 679 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,120 Speaker 2: running out. I have like ten thousand Valian tablets in 680 00:25:31,201 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 2: my top draw like one hundred bottles, one hundred, one 681 00:25:33,801 --> 00:25:36,161 Speaker 2: hundred bottles in my top thing of like a pharmacy, 682 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,641 Speaker 2: great big packet of voluumes, so I'll never run out 683 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,561 Speaker 2: of valsuge because I need valuumes to snort rack, because 684 00:25:40,561 --> 00:25:42,321 Speaker 2: i'd have a line then have half a value to 685 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 2: come be down because my anxiety will go, and then 686 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,841 Speaker 2: I'll be fucking because I'll be by myself on cocaine 687 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,920 Speaker 2: half the time, you know, and your heart rate starts 688 00:25:48,961 --> 00:25:51,801 Speaker 2: going and you're thinking, there you go, like the worst 689 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,321 Speaker 2: thing you can do when you're off your head is 690 00:25:53,441 --> 00:25:57,640 Speaker 2: Google your symptoms, because it comes up You're gonna fucking die. Okay, 691 00:25:57,801 --> 00:26:00,601 Speaker 2: that's all it said, has gone, so doctor Google, you're 692 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,440 Speaker 2: a fucking dog. Okay, but like that will come up 693 00:26:03,481 --> 00:26:05,321 Speaker 2: and then you're gonna die. Imagine your heart After you 694 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,201 Speaker 2: read that, You're like, oh, yep, I've got that yet 695 00:26:07,241 --> 00:26:09,761 Speaker 2: my heart right's going, Yeah, I'm a bridge my breathing. 696 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,360 Speaker 2: I'm want to die by this point, I'm in this 697 00:26:14,481 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 2: apartment for a year plus mor and cocaine by myself. 698 00:26:17,001 --> 00:26:19,281 Speaker 2: And then over time my anxiety got real bad and 699 00:26:19,321 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 2: ship and I had a mate that always used to 700 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,921 Speaker 2: come over. He used to smoke pipes. The one thing 701 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 2: that I said that ruined my life that I justified 702 00:26:25,521 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 2: is an Okay. I was like, fuck, give me one. 703 00:26:28,561 --> 00:26:30,761 Speaker 2: So I ended up having one with him. And see 704 00:26:30,801 --> 00:26:34,041 Speaker 2: when I smoked this pipe, I didn't get anxious. My 705 00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:37,121 Speaker 2: nose was sweet. I could have conversations because off my head, 706 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is way better, you know. And 707 00:26:39,241 --> 00:26:41,360 Speaker 2: then I started smoking ice again, so I fell back 708 00:26:41,961 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 2: into the old habit that did fucked my life up 709 00:26:44,201 --> 00:26:46,041 Speaker 2: and force got me to the point where I tried 710 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 2: taking my own life. You know, I've got back into 711 00:26:48,681 --> 00:26:50,201 Speaker 2: that because I wanted the high ser bad. I don't 712 00:26:50,201 --> 00:26:51,561 Speaker 2: want the anxiety. And this was a tree and then 713 00:26:51,761 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 2: in my head another thing I justified one. I'm not 714 00:26:53,721 --> 00:26:56,521 Speaker 2: as paranoid at the moment. I've got a paraoid after 715 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,041 Speaker 2: I was pretty paranoid anyway, but I wasn't as paranoid. 716 00:27:00,041 --> 00:27:02,521 Speaker 2: I could have good flowing conversations. My nose is okay, 717 00:27:02,561 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 2: I'm not fucking this. I'm saving money because I'm not 718 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 2: naughting on my cocaine. I can sell my cocaine and 719 00:27:07,561 --> 00:27:10,801 Speaker 2: I can use ice because it's cheaper, dumb count So 720 00:27:10,801 --> 00:27:13,521 Speaker 2: I'm justifying all these things because it's cheaper. So I'm 721 00:27:13,561 --> 00:27:16,041 Speaker 2: back smoking pipes again every day. And then i got 722 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 2: fucking proper cooked again, and then I'm smoking pipes every day. 723 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,521 Speaker 2: The next minute, bang bang door, but gets fucking not 724 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,761 Speaker 2: even kicked in. The police had a swipe card bang 725 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,641 Speaker 2: like born with a service departments, you know, they say, 726 00:27:27,721 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 2: we need to keep this blokeplace. We're going to go raid. 727 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:32,361 Speaker 2: This counts. So then they came in, about eight nine 728 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,921 Speaker 2: of them, and they're smoking a pipe on my bed 729 00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:36,521 Speaker 2: and that has come in and like I'm was like 730 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,441 Speaker 2: what and I'm a dunk. I don't have anything, hitt 731 00:27:40,441 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 2: and I've got my answers of cocaine here, fucking ice 732 00:27:42,801 --> 00:27:44,161 Speaker 2: fucking everything out. 733 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 3: Ice piping my fucking hand. So that was my first raid. 734 00:27:48,241 --> 00:27:50,441 Speaker 2: And if I had information from someone that I was selling, 735 00:27:50,521 --> 00:27:52,360 Speaker 2: so obviously someone and there was a few people that 736 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,241 Speaker 2: i'd be money that I was dogging out on. It 737 00:27:54,441 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 2: was just like message cooked. And then obviously someone's just 738 00:27:58,921 --> 00:28:01,200 Speaker 2: gone and said this comes fucking dug me in and 739 00:28:01,241 --> 00:28:01,881 Speaker 2: they got the raid. 740 00:28:02,281 --> 00:28:03,561 Speaker 1: What they what were they like to here when when 741 00:28:03,561 --> 00:28:04,281 Speaker 1: they were done the raid? 742 00:28:04,441 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 2: Like what they were right? But I was just like, 743 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,281 Speaker 2: no comment, no comment, being a fucking just being like 744 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 2: a crim So like they didn't really when you're like, 745 00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:13,360 Speaker 2: hey mate, like these days a copper come up to 746 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,281 Speaker 2: them like, hey go mate, I don't care, you're doing 747 00:28:16,281 --> 00:28:18,400 Speaker 2: your job whatever. But back then it was still like 748 00:28:18,961 --> 00:28:22,680 Speaker 2: you know what, no comment, you know, no comment, com comment, 749 00:28:24,201 --> 00:28:26,241 Speaker 2: So they would be they weren't nice as the guys, 750 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 2: but I would understand why being heavy with you. I 751 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,561 Speaker 2: was sitting there pipe for my bead, but I'm not 752 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:38,121 Speaker 2: at anyone. That was the first round. And then I 753 00:28:38,161 --> 00:28:39,881 Speaker 2: went in there and got bail on those charges. My 754 00:28:39,921 --> 00:28:41,561 Speaker 2: lawyer got me. I'm sitting there in the middle of 755 00:28:41,561 --> 00:28:45,161 Speaker 2: the valley this here out after my house got ready 756 00:28:45,241 --> 00:28:47,801 Speaker 2: with nothing and I was out on the streets try 757 00:28:47,801 --> 00:28:49,761 Speaker 2: to messaging mates and ship like this, like I tried 758 00:28:49,801 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 2: reaching out to people. I had no drugs left for 759 00:28:51,561 --> 00:28:53,721 Speaker 2: my ship was taken like I had nothing, no money, 760 00:28:54,041 --> 00:28:55,921 Speaker 2: no drugs and nothing. Had this one little bag of 761 00:28:56,001 --> 00:28:57,881 Speaker 2: rock that's mine. And I was just like, I need 762 00:28:57,921 --> 00:28:59,361 Speaker 2: to go get more gear. I need to some more gin. 763 00:28:59,441 --> 00:29:00,561 Speaker 2: Need to get more gear, you know what I mean. 764 00:29:00,601 --> 00:29:02,081 Speaker 2: So I message mates, I'm like, hey, can you help 765 00:29:02,161 --> 00:29:04,921 Speaker 2: us out to gazar man? This just happened. And you know, like, 766 00:29:05,761 --> 00:29:07,921 Speaker 2: if you're a drug dealer and a mate says, hey, bro, 767 00:29:08,041 --> 00:29:09,761 Speaker 2: I've just been raided by the police. I need to 768 00:29:09,761 --> 00:29:12,241 Speaker 2: get stuff off you, I'll be like, fuck off, can't. 769 00:29:12,241 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 2: You're not coming near me, you know what I mean? 770 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:15,721 Speaker 2: Cot your red hot. But and then I had another 771 00:29:15,761 --> 00:29:18,481 Speaker 2: mate that was up in Cannes, so up in cans 772 00:29:18,521 --> 00:29:19,841 Speaker 2: and I was messaging him and he was a maide 773 00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:20,881 Speaker 2: of mine. He used to be in Brision that we 774 00:29:20,961 --> 00:29:22,281 Speaker 2: used to get on and that together. 775 00:29:22,641 --> 00:29:24,081 Speaker 3: And I was telling you what happened. He's like, man, 776 00:29:24,161 --> 00:29:25,721 Speaker 3: come up here, no, I I'll look after. 777 00:29:25,761 --> 00:29:27,720 Speaker 2: And he was doing it up there. He's like, come 778 00:29:27,801 --> 00:29:29,241 Speaker 2: up here, help me collect a bit of money and 779 00:29:29,321 --> 00:29:31,361 Speaker 2: help me do stuff up here, and I'll just look after. 780 00:29:31,401 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 2: You'll get you. I've got your house ready, I've got 781 00:29:33,241 --> 00:29:35,641 Speaker 2: your room in my house. Stay here, and we just 782 00:29:35,681 --> 00:29:37,681 Speaker 2: got to go do some stuff together. I'm like, fucking sweet, 783 00:29:37,761 --> 00:29:40,041 Speaker 2: so and all were meant to go up there. We're 784 00:29:40,081 --> 00:29:42,761 Speaker 2: meant to start training women, eat good men, just fucking 785 00:29:42,801 --> 00:29:44,681 Speaker 2: stuck and healthy together. That was the plan that we 786 00:29:44,761 --> 00:29:45,321 Speaker 2: spoke about. 787 00:29:45,601 --> 00:29:47,081 Speaker 3: And we do what we do on our weekends. Just 788 00:29:47,121 --> 00:29:48,521 Speaker 3: go collect a bit of stuff and just help me 789 00:29:48,601 --> 00:29:50,041 Speaker 3: out a bit and stuff. And I was like, yeah, sweet, 790 00:29:50,041 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 3: bro sweet went up there. 791 00:29:51,281 --> 00:29:52,881 Speaker 2: And as soon as we went there, it was fucking 792 00:29:52,921 --> 00:29:55,681 Speaker 2: his two zan x can't he's a pipe, he's got 793 00:29:55,721 --> 00:29:58,921 Speaker 2: on a hard So I then in the exact same 794 00:29:59,001 --> 00:30:01,001 Speaker 2: thing up there. So we just started going out every night, 795 00:30:01,201 --> 00:30:04,801 Speaker 2: fucking rinking through houses like this, collecting money just off 796 00:30:04,841 --> 00:30:08,161 Speaker 2: our eating zanaggs. And one night went back to this apartment, 797 00:30:08,561 --> 00:30:10,361 Speaker 2: sitting this apartment, all getting on, all the boys out 798 00:30:10,361 --> 00:30:12,681 Speaker 2: of the gear out Matt and then banged door, gets 799 00:30:12,681 --> 00:30:14,801 Speaker 2: proper kicked in in this place. Cops come in, raid 800 00:30:14,921 --> 00:30:17,721 Speaker 2: Darcy Cogdale, Darcy Cogdale raided for the salt that's on 801 00:30:18,641 --> 00:30:20,561 Speaker 2: the serial assault that this happened at the woolshed and 802 00:30:20,641 --> 00:30:24,200 Speaker 2: cans blah blah blah, And I'm like, oh, and because 803 00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:26,121 Speaker 2: all the gear was out, we had bags of rock, 804 00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:28,561 Speaker 2: fucking coke and everything out as soon as the cops 805 00:30:28,561 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 2: see that in the raid emergency raid. They don't need 806 00:30:30,521 --> 00:30:32,601 Speaker 2: a warrant once they see it, so we are a 807 00:30:32,601 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 2: had to sit down. They get raided the whole place, 808 00:30:34,521 --> 00:30:36,801 Speaker 2: found all my mate's gear and shit, and in my 809 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,921 Speaker 2: head the same thing with my loyalty thing, you know 810 00:30:38,961 --> 00:30:41,521 Speaker 2: what I mean. Like, I'm like, the raid happened because 811 00:30:41,561 --> 00:30:42,961 Speaker 2: of me. This would not have happen because of me. 812 00:30:43,081 --> 00:30:45,841 Speaker 2: And I just stood up in front of everyone over 813 00:30:45,921 --> 00:30:47,481 Speaker 2: I was sitting there quietly. I'm like, everything in the 814 00:30:47,521 --> 00:30:49,761 Speaker 2: apartment's mine, you know, I mean, none of the drugs 815 00:30:49,801 --> 00:30:51,321 Speaker 2: are mine. I had no so I took the rat 816 00:30:51,361 --> 00:30:54,961 Speaker 2: for all these drugs. Everything go fucking utensils, drugs, everything. 817 00:30:54,961 --> 00:30:56,121 Speaker 2: I just put my hand up. So I'm like, I've 818 00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:58,001 Speaker 2: got a massive charge. And I was still not gone 819 00:30:58,041 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 2: to jarl yet, So I'm like, fucking had it to 820 00:31:00,481 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 2: the bill, mate, you know what I mean, the resume. 821 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,041 Speaker 2: But I thought it was impossible. I thought it was 822 00:31:05,161 --> 00:31:07,361 Speaker 2: like a not impossible, invincible because I've never gone to jail. 823 00:31:07,681 --> 00:31:09,761 Speaker 2: And then that's when I got locked up proper, and 824 00:31:09,841 --> 00:31:11,521 Speaker 2: then they took me to the watchhouse or sitting in 825 00:31:11,561 --> 00:31:13,881 Speaker 2: there like fucking And then the next day we went 826 00:31:13,881 --> 00:31:16,801 Speaker 2: in the courthouse and they went into court and then 827 00:31:16,961 --> 00:31:18,521 Speaker 2: I got sentence. I was just don't know what was 828 00:31:18,521 --> 00:31:20,281 Speaker 2: going on because I'm literally coming down of like a 829 00:31:20,361 --> 00:31:23,121 Speaker 2: fucking ten year run bed, like I'm fucking coming down 830 00:31:23,161 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 2: in his watchhouse and. 831 00:31:24,761 --> 00:31:26,481 Speaker 3: I'm sitting there and I mean court and I don't 832 00:31:26,481 --> 00:31:27,041 Speaker 3: even know what's going on. 833 00:31:27,161 --> 00:31:29,041 Speaker 2: Judge said, I didn't know she sentenced me for anything. 834 00:31:29,081 --> 00:31:32,721 Speaker 2: I was just like, okay, yep, sorry, walk out, you 835 00:31:32,801 --> 00:31:33,281 Speaker 2: know whatever. 836 00:31:33,361 --> 00:31:34,841 Speaker 3: And the next minute they're calling me able to go 837 00:31:34,921 --> 00:31:36,041 Speaker 3: on the bus. Start see you're up. 838 00:31:36,081 --> 00:31:38,561 Speaker 2: I'm like, what buss. They're like, you're going to fucking 839 00:31:38,641 --> 00:31:41,641 Speaker 2: j I'm like, ah no, not me. I'm Alway's gonna 840 00:31:41,641 --> 00:31:43,641 Speaker 2: give you a handed this time, trust me. And then 841 00:31:43,721 --> 00:31:45,241 Speaker 2: next min I was sitting on the jarl bus. I'm 842 00:31:45,241 --> 00:31:48,881 Speaker 2: gone way to Ken's jail. I'm like, fuck, so everything 843 00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,001 Speaker 2: just fucking go on on my head. I'm like, fuck me, 844 00:31:51,121 --> 00:31:53,721 Speaker 2: I'm going to jail. Fuck. It was just like it 845 00:31:53,841 --> 00:31:56,401 Speaker 2: was like it was didn't feel like reality, you know. 846 00:31:56,481 --> 00:31:58,281 Speaker 2: Then one way to kens Joel, I'm sitting there on 847 00:31:58,321 --> 00:32:00,361 Speaker 2: the basket and there was some junkie crossing me going 848 00:32:00,401 --> 00:32:05,401 Speaker 2: on to that shit. I'm like, bro, what's going on, jabo? 849 00:32:05,481 --> 00:32:07,401 Speaker 2: But whatever I've got in there, made my phone call 850 00:32:08,041 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 2: and you get one phone call and yell in and 851 00:32:09,481 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 2: I rang Mom and I'm like, hey, Mom, I'm fucking 852 00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:16,241 Speaker 2: I'm a job and she's like what And I haven't 853 00:32:16,241 --> 00:32:20,201 Speaker 2: seen them again for years, three years, whatever, and she's 854 00:32:20,321 --> 00:32:22,561 Speaker 2: just like okay, and I'm like, i'll call you soon 855 00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:24,641 Speaker 2: because it's just a limited call. Sports are gone on. 856 00:32:24,921 --> 00:32:26,801 Speaker 2: I've never been in job before. I thought, Joe, I'm 857 00:32:26,841 --> 00:32:28,641 Speaker 2: gonna go on here, I'm gonna get fucked in the ass. 858 00:32:29,801 --> 00:32:31,761 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get bash and'm getting fucked. I'm going to 859 00:32:31,841 --> 00:32:35,601 Speaker 2: fuck it my asshole penetrated this little cracked out blue 860 00:32:35,641 --> 00:32:39,721 Speaker 2: head blue. But because Kansas, a blackfellow does an aboriginal job. 861 00:32:40,241 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 2: So I'm going in this fucking unit and it's just 862 00:32:42,561 --> 00:32:44,881 Speaker 2: all these black fellows and all this time walking back. 863 00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:47,041 Speaker 2: When you walk through that first door, when you open 864 00:32:47,081 --> 00:32:49,121 Speaker 2: the door in a one hundred and fifty fifty one 865 00:32:49,161 --> 00:32:51,321 Speaker 2: hundred man unit, and all the eyes just look at 866 00:32:51,321 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 2: you like freshman. You got your little sack on your 867 00:32:53,041 --> 00:32:55,241 Speaker 2: back and you walk in there, I'm like, oh fuck, 868 00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:57,001 Speaker 2: Like I could punch on a hold my own, but 869 00:32:57,281 --> 00:32:59,201 Speaker 2: not when you've got five cuns jumping on your head. 870 00:32:59,601 --> 00:33:01,401 Speaker 2: And like, I don't care how big and bad you are. 871 00:33:01,441 --> 00:33:04,881 Speaker 2: You go to jail, there's someone bigger. And you go 872 00:33:05,121 --> 00:33:08,401 Speaker 2: in the jail with an ego. People gone about jarl 873 00:33:08,481 --> 00:33:09,641 Speaker 2: and all this stuff. Like if you go in there, 874 00:33:09,641 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 2: you've got no ego, you've got nothing to prove. You're going. 875 00:33:11,801 --> 00:33:12,641 Speaker 2: You do your fucking jar. 876 00:33:12,881 --> 00:33:15,321 Speaker 3: You just don't look for a fucking Stonish. You're not 877 00:33:15,321 --> 00:33:16,041 Speaker 3: gonna have any trouble. 878 00:33:16,081 --> 00:33:18,081 Speaker 2: But people going there with egos thinking out the top 879 00:33:18,161 --> 00:33:19,961 Speaker 2: do they get sorted out real quick? 880 00:33:20,001 --> 00:33:20,081 Speaker 1: Bro? 881 00:33:20,201 --> 00:33:21,361 Speaker 2: You know? But I went in there, just did my 882 00:33:21,641 --> 00:33:24,961 Speaker 2: head down, fucking shoulder, back my bag and putting back down, 883 00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:27,641 Speaker 2: and I swear straight out, set straight outside and start exercising. 884 00:33:27,761 --> 00:33:30,041 Speaker 2: You know what burpies gin up because obviously jail you're 885 00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:32,281 Speaker 2: in the yard, you know. So I was just fuck 886 00:33:32,361 --> 00:33:35,681 Speaker 2: this streamline outside, just started doing burpies cutting laps. Buck. 887 00:33:35,841 --> 00:33:38,321 Speaker 2: I would have cut fuck, I would have done more 888 00:33:38,361 --> 00:33:41,321 Speaker 2: kilometers and fucking lands. Armstrong done fucking bike on that 889 00:33:41,441 --> 00:33:44,441 Speaker 2: first night, like this up and down cut laps sort 890 00:33:44,481 --> 00:33:46,361 Speaker 2: of how I started to keep my mind busy, you 891 00:33:46,401 --> 00:33:48,720 Speaker 2: know what I mean. And that's how and that's how 892 00:33:48,761 --> 00:33:50,081 Speaker 2: I was coming down, like I was just walking, and 893 00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:51,561 Speaker 2: that's how I sort of made mates and it because 894 00:33:51,641 --> 00:33:51,801 Speaker 2: like that. 895 00:33:51,921 --> 00:33:54,001 Speaker 3: It was like people would see me train in the morning. 896 00:33:54,001 --> 00:33:55,801 Speaker 2: I got there. I didn't know anyone at the start. 897 00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:57,561 Speaker 2: But after a couple of days and there you train, 898 00:33:57,641 --> 00:33:59,921 Speaker 2: you're walking up to come around laps doing stuff, and 899 00:34:00,321 --> 00:34:01,641 Speaker 2: people come home. You want to jump in and do 900 00:34:01,761 --> 00:34:03,321 Speaker 2: some boxing or something. You're going, but what are you 901 00:34:03,521 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 2: here for? You know, if you haven't if you've got 902 00:34:06,041 --> 00:34:08,801 Speaker 2: decent charges, not saying any charge about charge, but you're 903 00:34:08,801 --> 00:34:10,561 Speaker 2: not gonna go and like, oh I fucking bash my missus. 904 00:34:10,601 --> 00:34:13,161 Speaker 2: Oh fuck, I'll touch some kids. That's if you go 905 00:34:13,241 --> 00:34:14,801 Speaker 2: on there. And I've got like I wasn't proud of 906 00:34:14,881 --> 00:34:17,321 Speaker 2: my wrap sheet, but I was. I wasn't away because 907 00:34:17,401 --> 00:34:20,401 Speaker 2: I sold drugs. Was like got done from normal ship. 908 00:34:20,561 --> 00:34:21,961 Speaker 2: So I was like, fucking you know, I got done 909 00:34:21,961 --> 00:34:23,401 Speaker 2: for this and that blah blah. I'm like, oh yeah, 910 00:34:23,401 --> 00:34:25,601 Speaker 2: we see on the news blah blahah oh yeah. And 911 00:34:25,681 --> 00:34:27,641 Speaker 2: then just made friends and then I started a boxing 912 00:34:27,641 --> 00:34:29,241 Speaker 2: with me. It's like, oh, come sitting at a table 913 00:34:30,081 --> 00:34:33,241 Speaker 2: and like, so then training and exercise and stuff made 914 00:34:33,681 --> 00:34:36,561 Speaker 2: friends in there, sort of how drugs and everything made 915 00:34:36,601 --> 00:34:37,881 Speaker 2: my friends on the outside. Everything. 916 00:34:38,161 --> 00:34:40,081 Speaker 3: So I'm like, exercise training, this is how I'm going 917 00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:41,721 Speaker 3: to make mates. I'm going to make friends every like this, 918 00:34:41,881 --> 00:34:44,321 Speaker 3: you know. So we started training together, all these boys. 919 00:34:44,401 --> 00:34:46,761 Speaker 3: We started training every day together, and this day started going. 920 00:34:46,641 --> 00:34:48,041 Speaker 2: By, and every day I'll just call my mom and 921 00:34:48,161 --> 00:34:50,601 Speaker 2: I'll be like, hey, Mom, and what I'm I can 922 00:34:50,681 --> 00:34:53,201 Speaker 2: promise you I'm gonna change. I can fucking promise that. 923 00:34:53,281 --> 00:34:55,521 Speaker 2: This is it. Blah blah, My boy, if you cried wolf, 924 00:34:55,561 --> 00:34:58,201 Speaker 2: I said I was gonna change a hundred thousand times 925 00:34:58,241 --> 00:35:00,641 Speaker 2: in my life to it. She's like, there was no 926 00:35:00,801 --> 00:35:03,161 Speaker 2: hope there. She's like, Okay, Darcy, there was no I 927 00:35:03,241 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 2: know you are you know what I mean. She's like okay, 928 00:35:05,041 --> 00:35:06,521 Speaker 2: And I'm like, and I sent her on phone, but 929 00:35:06,601 --> 00:35:08,401 Speaker 2: no matter what happens to you, because obviously he's gone 930 00:35:08,401 --> 00:35:10,761 Speaker 2: through cans and that, and I'm like, no matter what happens, 931 00:35:10,801 --> 00:35:12,281 Speaker 2: like even if something happens on me here, you know what, 932 00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:15,041 Speaker 2: I always love you and I'll always make you proud, 933 00:35:15,121 --> 00:35:16,641 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. I'll just promise you after 934 00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,561 Speaker 2: this or show keep making you proud every day, you know, 935 00:35:19,401 --> 00:35:21,601 Speaker 2: and then that's since She's like, okay, dahcy Yeah, I 936 00:35:21,641 --> 00:35:22,721 Speaker 2: didn't believe me, but I was. 937 00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:24,601 Speaker 3: I knew what that was when I changed. I've been 938 00:35:24,641 --> 00:35:25,881 Speaker 3: sober since that day I went to job. 939 00:35:26,001 --> 00:35:26,841 Speaker 1: How long were you in there for? 940 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,161 Speaker 2: I was in I did fifteen months all law, but 941 00:35:29,321 --> 00:35:30,801 Speaker 2: there was sixty years ago I've been in the job, 942 00:35:30,921 --> 00:35:32,201 Speaker 2: so I've been sober six years. 943 00:35:32,961 --> 00:35:35,001 Speaker 3: So I just promised my mom in there. I was 944 00:35:35,041 --> 00:35:35,761 Speaker 3: promised her on the phone. 945 00:35:35,761 --> 00:35:37,841 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'll promise you I'll never drink again, I'll 946 00:35:37,881 --> 00:35:40,201 Speaker 2: never do drugs again, and I'm never fighting. There are 947 00:35:40,321 --> 00:35:42,201 Speaker 2: three things I promise my mom, but I still haven't 948 00:35:42,201 --> 00:35:44,281 Speaker 2: broken those promises. There are three things that got me 949 00:35:44,321 --> 00:35:46,121 Speaker 2: in a lot of trouble, and I'm like, I'll never 950 00:35:46,201 --> 00:35:48,081 Speaker 2: do these things again. So you think jail changed you, 951 00:35:50,001 --> 00:35:52,201 Speaker 2: It changed me and made me realize what matters. I 952 00:35:52,321 --> 00:35:54,361 Speaker 2: took my family, see none of no one came to 953 00:35:54,441 --> 00:35:56,561 Speaker 2: visit me, no one. I had one good mate that 954 00:35:56,641 --> 00:35:58,241 Speaker 2: came to visit me in Brisbane with his missus and 955 00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:02,041 Speaker 2: he's like my best mate. Everyone else no visits, no letters, 956 00:36:02,521 --> 00:36:04,401 Speaker 2: didn't even know I was gone, you know what I mean? 957 00:36:04,441 --> 00:36:06,401 Speaker 3: My parents come, Mom come up and visit. She was sick, 958 00:36:06,481 --> 00:36:07,841 Speaker 3: so she made the trip up. 959 00:36:07,881 --> 00:36:09,841 Speaker 2: Then she's ballet cancer dine and she she still come 960 00:36:09,921 --> 00:36:11,881 Speaker 2: up to seize me. And I was like, so, so 961 00:36:12,041 --> 00:36:13,961 Speaker 2: I broke down multiple times and I'm sorry, and the 962 00:36:14,041 --> 00:36:16,321 Speaker 2: visits and shit. I mean, but I would call her 963 00:36:16,361 --> 00:36:19,641 Speaker 2: every day and I just say, I promise, you'll change, 964 00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:21,761 Speaker 2: Promise you'll change, you know what I mean. Then first 965 00:36:21,801 --> 00:36:23,881 Speaker 2: off I was up in Kensja, so then I needed 966 00:36:23,881 --> 00:36:26,201 Speaker 2: to transfer down to Brisy. So I was like I 967 00:36:26,281 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 2: need transferred, like I was going to take a while, blah, 968 00:36:28,801 --> 00:36:30,081 Speaker 2: like I need to see my mom. She's like, I 969 00:36:30,201 --> 00:36:31,961 Speaker 2: put in compassion of grounds to go down to Brisbane 970 00:36:31,961 --> 00:36:34,161 Speaker 2: to get transferred, and they're like, I could take edge. 971 00:36:34,161 --> 00:36:35,841 Speaker 2: I'll speak all the boys of the unit and shit, 972 00:36:36,081 --> 00:36:38,161 Speaker 2: and like I've made a fair few friends up in 973 00:36:38,241 --> 00:36:40,921 Speaker 2: the Cansow. I started graffeeding. So I was graffeeding. I 974 00:36:40,961 --> 00:36:44,201 Speaker 2: was drem everyone that looks mad. It's always graffeeding. And 975 00:36:44,281 --> 00:36:46,401 Speaker 2: then then I've started tattooing people and so they had 976 00:36:46,401 --> 00:36:50,121 Speaker 2: atotle tatoo kid putt put the postcode on about forty 977 00:36:50,201 --> 00:36:53,281 Speaker 2: counts the same, but I drew it and it looked 978 00:36:53,321 --> 00:36:55,440 Speaker 2: mad like I had graffe. That's how I made mates, 979 00:36:55,441 --> 00:36:57,761 Speaker 2: and they're training stuff like that. 980 00:36:57,961 --> 00:37:00,641 Speaker 3: So pretty crazy. How they make tatoo, she's pretty cool. 981 00:37:00,681 --> 00:37:02,161 Speaker 2: But I never did that. They just gave it to 982 00:37:02,161 --> 00:37:05,441 Speaker 2: me and I just drawing. And then I went to 983 00:37:05,521 --> 00:37:06,881 Speaker 2: the fish file and I'm like, look, if I don't 984 00:37:07,081 --> 00:37:08,681 Speaker 2: get a transfer and a bridish and I'm gonna do 985 00:37:08,721 --> 00:37:10,841 Speaker 2: something stupid, you know what I mean, Like I'm gonna 986 00:37:10,841 --> 00:37:12,961 Speaker 2: fucking them self farm or something like well I need 987 00:37:13,041 --> 00:37:15,321 Speaker 2: to see someone now, you know, and then red flag. 988 00:37:15,401 --> 00:37:17,081 Speaker 2: Soon as someone says they're going to fucking self harm 989 00:37:17,121 --> 00:37:19,921 Speaker 2: in jail, they're fucking I had a fucking general manager 990 00:37:20,001 --> 00:37:21,681 Speaker 2: come down that day. I'm like, cant should have this 991 00:37:21,721 --> 00:37:24,041 Speaker 2: ten weeks, you know, And then they came down like 992 00:37:24,121 --> 00:37:25,761 Speaker 2: look what's going on? What's happening to you? Okay? And 993 00:37:25,801 --> 00:37:27,841 Speaker 2: I'm just like, look, my mum's going from cancer, Like 994 00:37:27,881 --> 00:37:29,361 Speaker 2: I need to be a pubby go to see her. 995 00:37:29,361 --> 00:37:31,681 Speaker 2: All this, so end up getting transferred back down to Brissy. 996 00:37:31,761 --> 00:37:33,921 Speaker 2: So they came back down to Brissy and landing a 997 00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:36,081 Speaker 2: new jail, and I went into a new cell with 998 00:37:36,201 --> 00:37:38,681 Speaker 2: no one I knew again, and I'm like, fucking same 999 00:37:38,801 --> 00:37:41,401 Speaker 2: feeling like going with a big fifty man Hney Maund 1000 00:37:41,401 --> 00:37:42,881 Speaker 2: you and everyone's got their circles and they just look 1001 00:37:42,881 --> 00:37:44,601 Speaker 2: at you like a piece of me. But same thing 1002 00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:46,921 Speaker 2: is when that started started training and then they started 1003 00:37:47,041 --> 00:37:47,881 Speaker 2: just made mates again. 1004 00:37:48,081 --> 00:37:49,881 Speaker 1: No one ever ever tried to start us on the 1005 00:37:51,041 --> 00:37:51,441 Speaker 1: like you know, I. 1006 00:37:51,441 --> 00:37:53,481 Speaker 2: Can get started in jail, Like if you go out 1007 00:37:53,561 --> 00:37:55,841 Speaker 2: looking at someone like bust out, You're like, what's your problem? 1008 00:37:55,881 --> 00:37:58,481 Speaker 2: Like yeah, obviously, But I like I was not. I 1009 00:37:58,561 --> 00:38:00,041 Speaker 2: was meet. I was just in there training to doing 1010 00:38:00,121 --> 00:38:03,161 Speaker 2: my job. I'm not affiliated, I'm not fucking I haven't 1011 00:38:03,201 --> 00:38:04,921 Speaker 2: got any gang pies or anything like that. 1012 00:38:05,081 --> 00:38:06,440 Speaker 4: I was never a bi Like was I like though 1013 00:38:06,481 --> 00:38:08,921 Speaker 4: for you, because you were fucking you would have been 1014 00:38:08,961 --> 00:38:11,481 Speaker 4: coming down for hard not touching any drugs anymore. 1015 00:38:11,561 --> 00:38:13,921 Speaker 2: But honestly, everyone asks me, is bro, I did not 1016 00:38:14,081 --> 00:38:17,521 Speaker 2: remember coming down. I was just too anxious about getting bashed. 1017 00:38:17,601 --> 00:38:19,761 Speaker 2: I was too anxious about someone fucking just keep an 1018 00:38:19,801 --> 00:38:21,801 Speaker 2: eye like, oh the paranoid is fuck, I guess, but 1019 00:38:22,241 --> 00:38:23,761 Speaker 2: I guess I just sweated it out. Bro. 1020 00:38:24,001 --> 00:38:26,601 Speaker 3: I just like cut laps training every day that's probout 1021 00:38:26,601 --> 00:38:28,000 Speaker 3: how I got through my Caumpnowmbers' training. 1022 00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,321 Speaker 1: You didn't miss it. You didn't even think about it 1023 00:38:29,361 --> 00:38:30,081 Speaker 1: when I didn't know. 1024 00:38:30,521 --> 00:38:32,641 Speaker 2: I haven't had craving since that day, Bro, I had 1025 00:38:32,721 --> 00:38:35,161 Speaker 2: no The withdrawals would have just been me just fucking 1026 00:38:35,281 --> 00:38:37,321 Speaker 2: shaking my shell sell a little bit, like I had 1027 00:38:37,361 --> 00:38:39,921 Speaker 2: troubled sleeping for a while. Yeah, at night, I'm sitting 1028 00:38:39,961 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 2: there and I reflect on all the stuff of pain. 1029 00:38:41,521 --> 00:38:43,480 Speaker 2: I caused my mum that I might miss my mom's funeral, 1030 00:38:43,561 --> 00:38:45,001 Speaker 2: Like I'd sit there crying because I might miss my 1031 00:38:45,041 --> 00:38:46,841 Speaker 2: mother's funeral, you know what I mean, Like because we 1032 00:38:46,841 --> 00:38:48,441 Speaker 2: didn't know how long she had left, I couldn't be 1033 00:38:48,441 --> 00:38:49,881 Speaker 2: there for a treatment. I couldn't be there for the 1034 00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:51,841 Speaker 2: brother I had, mads funerals. If I had made passed 1035 00:38:51,841 --> 00:38:53,481 Speaker 2: away while I was in jail, that I couldn't be Therefore, 1036 00:38:54,041 --> 00:38:55,361 Speaker 2: and you know the only way I got through all 1037 00:38:55,401 --> 00:38:57,681 Speaker 2: those things was exercise. And that's how I fell in 1038 00:38:57,761 --> 00:38:59,241 Speaker 2: love with training and fell in love with everything. I 1039 00:38:59,281 --> 00:39:01,841 Speaker 2: guess because that's what I wanted to do, ended up 1040 00:39:01,841 --> 00:39:05,801 Speaker 2: getting Supreme Court bail and release. So Supreme Courtbell, obviously, 1041 00:39:05,961 --> 00:39:07,641 Speaker 2: you probably notice when you go out, but you still 1042 00:39:07,681 --> 00:39:10,321 Speaker 2: got pendal charges. So I'm out because of my mum. 1043 00:39:10,401 --> 00:39:12,041 Speaker 2: We put that forward, like we put that through the 1044 00:39:12,081 --> 00:39:14,961 Speaker 2: Supreme Court saying look becauseults in Supreme Court obviously, and 1045 00:39:15,001 --> 00:39:17,481 Speaker 2: I'm like, look, this is I'm out part time. You 1046 00:39:17,601 --> 00:39:19,801 Speaker 2: basically get to get out of jail free card you go. 1047 00:39:20,001 --> 00:39:22,440 Speaker 2: You know. Anyway, I was out, and my lawyer just said, look, 1048 00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:24,801 Speaker 2: do as much as you can, good stuff you can 1049 00:39:24,921 --> 00:39:27,521 Speaker 2: to come back and show the courts you change. Like 1050 00:39:27,801 --> 00:39:29,281 Speaker 2: that was the number one thing. My lawyer said, like, 1051 00:39:29,321 --> 00:39:31,801 Speaker 2: you've got to be fucking super good. You've got to 1052 00:39:31,801 --> 00:39:33,881 Speaker 2: show the court you change. So I was signing obviously, 1053 00:39:34,001 --> 00:39:38,121 Speaker 2: for like three days a week. I was fucking clean 1054 00:39:38,201 --> 00:39:41,161 Speaker 2: piss sess every Monday. I'll go pay for myself every Monday. 1055 00:39:41,201 --> 00:39:43,321 Speaker 2: So Monday, so they see I didn't get on it 1056 00:39:43,401 --> 00:39:46,081 Speaker 2: on the weekend Monday, clean Pissess. I started doing matter, 1057 00:39:46,081 --> 00:39:48,281 Speaker 2: I started doing volunteer work everything like that. When I 1058 00:39:48,321 --> 00:39:50,601 Speaker 2: first got out, I've moved down the Gold Coast and 1059 00:39:50,681 --> 00:39:52,561 Speaker 2: I went into rehab. So part of my conditions is 1060 00:39:52,601 --> 00:39:54,201 Speaker 2: bold to go into a rehab. So I went into 1061 00:39:54,241 --> 00:39:56,401 Speaker 2: rehab at Burly MIRACLEI down there on the Gold coast 1062 00:39:56,441 --> 00:39:58,921 Speaker 2: near Burly Heads. And when in then I just started 1063 00:39:59,081 --> 00:40:01,041 Speaker 2: making a sort of difference in the rehab. I was 1064 00:40:01,041 --> 00:40:02,321 Speaker 2: the only one that just got out of jail. Like 1065 00:40:02,321 --> 00:40:04,361 Speaker 2: everyone I was in there just fucking drug addicts and 1066 00:40:04,361 --> 00:40:07,321 Speaker 2: shit that one. But like there's people there with serious 1067 00:40:07,321 --> 00:40:09,881 Speaker 2: problems obviously, but there's just like I came just from 1068 00:40:09,961 --> 00:40:12,641 Speaker 2: jar where everyone's like and everyone's like. The thing in 1069 00:40:12,801 --> 00:40:14,601 Speaker 2: the rehab was like you've got to tell on somebody 1070 00:40:14,641 --> 00:40:16,761 Speaker 2: if they do something wrong. Like That's when that did 1071 00:40:16,841 --> 00:40:19,001 Speaker 2: not align with me on my fuck this bay, you 1072 00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:19,441 Speaker 2: know what I mean. 1073 00:40:19,481 --> 00:40:21,281 Speaker 3: But I ended up putting all that beside me, and 1074 00:40:21,281 --> 00:40:21,801 Speaker 3: I'm like, fuck this. 1075 00:40:21,881 --> 00:40:23,121 Speaker 2: I just got to do this. I've got to get 1076 00:40:23,121 --> 00:40:24,521 Speaker 2: through this, and I was going to show the court. 1077 00:40:24,561 --> 00:40:25,561 Speaker 2: So I did my rehab time. 1078 00:40:25,961 --> 00:40:27,401 Speaker 3: And when I was in rehab, they didn't have any 1079 00:40:27,561 --> 00:40:29,161 Speaker 3: training or exercise or anything. 1080 00:40:28,961 --> 00:40:30,281 Speaker 2: In there, Like it was just like, oh, we sit 1081 00:40:30,321 --> 00:40:32,041 Speaker 2: in the circle, we all hold hand and talk about 1082 00:40:32,041 --> 00:40:33,921 Speaker 2: their feelings and then you're gonna go all just deal 1083 00:40:33,961 --> 00:40:36,161 Speaker 2: with your emotions by yourself. I'm like, I need to 1084 00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:38,241 Speaker 2: go training, coming, I need to go train. So they 1085 00:40:38,241 --> 00:40:40,361 Speaker 2: had a little gym set up there and everything, and 1086 00:40:40,441 --> 00:40:42,641 Speaker 2: then I'll be training exercising in the day and I 1087 00:40:42,721 --> 00:40:43,321 Speaker 2: have an hour gym. 1088 00:40:43,361 --> 00:40:44,761 Speaker 3: And then there was a few other guys in there 1089 00:40:44,801 --> 00:40:46,161 Speaker 3: that I sort of made friends with them, one. 1090 00:40:46,121 --> 00:40:48,201 Speaker 2: Real big guy and I sort of I've got a 1091 00:40:48,241 --> 00:40:51,361 Speaker 2: really soft spot for over fat people that are overweight, 1092 00:40:51,361 --> 00:40:53,201 Speaker 2: they struggle with being fat. And I took him under 1093 00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:55,201 Speaker 2: my wing. I'm like, come train with me, bro, come 1094 00:40:55,241 --> 00:40:57,121 Speaker 2: training with came good may. So we start exercise with me, 1095 00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,601 Speaker 2: and he was loving it, and he started dropping a 1096 00:40:58,641 --> 00:41:00,521 Speaker 2: bit of weight. And I'd always go through his room 1097 00:41:00,561 --> 00:41:02,761 Speaker 2: at night make sure he had no chips in. I'd like, 1098 00:41:02,921 --> 00:41:06,081 Speaker 2: but where's your food? Get it out? And I would 1099 00:41:06,121 --> 00:41:07,681 Speaker 2: make his dinner for him. Was like when we go 1100 00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:09,241 Speaker 2: up and make here and dinner, like, look how this 1101 00:41:09,401 --> 00:41:11,201 Speaker 2: much it is? And I would sort of make up 1102 00:41:11,201 --> 00:41:12,761 Speaker 2: his meals for him and we're training. He lost a 1103 00:41:12,881 --> 00:41:14,321 Speaker 2: bit away with me, but he become like one of 1104 00:41:14,361 --> 00:41:16,721 Speaker 2: my good mates. And then the people in there sort 1105 00:41:16,761 --> 00:41:18,361 Speaker 2: of seeing what I was doing with him, and then 1106 00:41:18,361 --> 00:41:20,721 Speaker 2: they're like, and then other people came up, can we 1107 00:41:20,801 --> 00:41:22,921 Speaker 2: jump in the train And next minute I'm fucking in 1108 00:41:23,001 --> 00:41:26,481 Speaker 2: the gym with about fucking ten drug addes all training 1109 00:41:26,521 --> 00:41:28,921 Speaker 2: with me. Like look drugs people like ten good people, 1110 00:41:28,961 --> 00:41:31,121 Speaker 2: but they're all in there for whatever. But like they're 1111 00:41:31,121 --> 00:41:32,441 Speaker 2: in there and we're all training together, we'll having a 1112 00:41:32,441 --> 00:41:34,121 Speaker 2: good group. Like I was like a group fitness card 1113 00:41:34,121 --> 00:41:36,241 Speaker 2: of bench presc going over here to fucking do a 1114 00:41:36,321 --> 00:41:39,321 Speaker 2: leg extensions over here. Fucking Burpie's here likeing shoulder pressing here, 1115 00:41:39,321 --> 00:41:41,201 Speaker 2: and I'm just walking around orchestral and I'm like like 1116 00:41:41,281 --> 00:41:43,161 Speaker 2: a trainer, you know. And that's where I sort of 1117 00:41:43,201 --> 00:41:45,001 Speaker 2: fell in love with it. I'm like, I really want 1118 00:41:45,001 --> 00:41:46,601 Speaker 2: to do it, and they even people said me, you're 1119 00:41:47,121 --> 00:41:49,361 Speaker 2: great at this, like and that became a thing in 1120 00:41:49,441 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 2: the rehab that an hour a day was Darcy's training 1121 00:41:52,041 --> 00:41:54,081 Speaker 2: sessions and I'll be training people for an hour a 1122 00:41:54,121 --> 00:41:56,361 Speaker 2: day in the rehab. It was like a little It 1123 00:41:56,441 --> 00:41:58,401 Speaker 2: became a part of the rehab that we got to 1124 00:41:58,441 --> 00:42:00,681 Speaker 2: exercise one hour and everyone come in with their towers 1125 00:42:00,721 --> 00:42:02,361 Speaker 2: and I'll be the coach and I'll be running everyone 1126 00:42:02,401 --> 00:42:05,241 Speaker 2: through shit. It was cool. And then obviously got out 1127 00:42:05,241 --> 00:42:07,161 Speaker 2: of the rehab, I was still going back there doing 1128 00:42:07,241 --> 00:42:09,081 Speaker 2: volunteer work. So I'd go back there and do like 1129 00:42:09,161 --> 00:42:11,361 Speaker 2: dinners on a Wednesday night or help them with dinners 1130 00:42:11,401 --> 00:42:13,201 Speaker 2: and go back and just go there and just help 1131 00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:15,201 Speaker 2: them with gym sessions there and every now and again. 1132 00:42:15,601 --> 00:42:18,321 Speaker 3: And then I was also laboring, so I was with labor. 1133 00:42:18,321 --> 00:42:19,721 Speaker 3: I've got a job as a laborer. And then I 1134 00:42:19,801 --> 00:42:23,081 Speaker 3: was washing dishes in Milky Lane on the Gold Coast, 1135 00:42:23,081 --> 00:42:24,281 Speaker 3: the burger shop on week. 1136 00:42:24,561 --> 00:42:27,441 Speaker 2: Push Yeah we're getting milk. Yeah I was. 1137 00:42:27,921 --> 00:42:29,361 Speaker 3: I was a dish figure out the back in the 1138 00:42:29,441 --> 00:42:30,681 Speaker 3: coldco So it was a dish. 1139 00:42:31,521 --> 00:42:34,481 Speaker 2: So that's it's like, no matter what, the job's a job, 1140 00:42:34,521 --> 00:42:36,481 Speaker 2: Like I was like, you're not going to get a 1141 00:42:36,561 --> 00:42:38,561 Speaker 2: chance when you get out of jail with you know. 1142 00:42:39,081 --> 00:42:40,921 Speaker 2: I knew I wasn't getting a chance, So you're not 1143 00:42:40,961 --> 00:42:43,201 Speaker 2: going to go landing your dream jobs. I knew I 1144 00:42:43,201 --> 00:42:44,601 Speaker 2: had to save our money. I knew I wanted to 1145 00:42:44,601 --> 00:42:46,641 Speaker 2: be a pet that's what I want to get into it. First, 1146 00:42:46,641 --> 00:42:48,241 Speaker 2: I wanted to get into F forty five because I 1147 00:42:48,281 --> 00:42:50,321 Speaker 2: started doing F forty five down the road to the 1148 00:42:50,361 --> 00:42:52,121 Speaker 2: rehab and I'm loving it here like I love being 1149 00:42:52,281 --> 00:42:53,721 Speaker 2: like I want to be a part of this. After that, 1150 00:42:53,841 --> 00:42:56,081 Speaker 2: I saved that for a couple of months the year 1151 00:42:56,641 --> 00:42:59,241 Speaker 2: and then brought my PT courses studied doing PTE so 1152 00:42:59,281 --> 00:43:00,841 Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck it, I'm going to do this. So 1153 00:43:01,561 --> 00:43:04,241 Speaker 2: grinding came out, just like I nothing want to go 1154 00:43:04,281 --> 00:43:06,201 Speaker 2: out of Jarl, no money and nothing and no hand out. 1155 00:43:06,281 --> 00:43:07,721 Speaker 2: Something all came out. I'm like, I need to make 1156 00:43:07,761 --> 00:43:10,841 Speaker 2: someone myself. Got my PT shirts sweet and then my 1157 00:43:10,921 --> 00:43:12,601 Speaker 2: mate that I lived with, he was like, he's an O. 1158 00:43:12,801 --> 00:43:14,961 Speaker 2: He owns Milky Lane. My mate owns Milkylae on the 1159 00:43:15,041 --> 00:43:17,681 Speaker 2: coast and he opened an F forty five. He's like, man, 1160 00:43:17,721 --> 00:43:19,561 Speaker 2: I'm going to open this F forty five with a mate. 1161 00:43:19,601 --> 00:43:21,081 Speaker 2: And he's like, I want you to run it. And 1162 00:43:21,161 --> 00:43:22,761 Speaker 2: I'm like, are you serious? 1163 00:43:23,001 --> 00:43:24,721 Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, you got your PET shirts. 1164 00:43:24,761 --> 00:43:26,761 Speaker 2: You love it. You're fucking you can see how committed 1165 00:43:26,761 --> 00:43:28,521 Speaker 2: you are because I'm obviously he sees me waking up 1166 00:43:28,561 --> 00:43:30,401 Speaker 2: super early every day, going for my runs every morning, 1167 00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,601 Speaker 2: long early, like I was in routine, like I was 1168 00:43:32,681 --> 00:43:35,401 Speaker 2: fucking doldy, and then he's just like, fucking I want 1169 00:43:35,401 --> 00:43:36,960 Speaker 2: you to run it. So this was my big shot. 1170 00:43:37,041 --> 00:43:38,761 Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck yeah, I can't, like I'm going to 1171 00:43:38,841 --> 00:43:41,001 Speaker 2: run this. And then so I started running a F 1172 00:43:41,081 --> 00:43:42,801 Speaker 2: forty five and I fucking killed it, Like I was 1173 00:43:42,881 --> 00:43:45,281 Speaker 2: in there every day set I helped set up everything. 1174 00:43:45,681 --> 00:43:48,001 Speaker 3: And then I started going to local businesses here, hey 1175 00:43:48,081 --> 00:43:49,601 Speaker 3: come in for our trial. Like, I messaged all the 1176 00:43:49,641 --> 00:43:52,521 Speaker 3: influences locally, Hey, come in for a free trial. Got 1177 00:43:52,641 --> 00:43:54,801 Speaker 3: them a couple one hundred members, like one hundred and 1178 00:43:54,801 --> 00:43:56,441 Speaker 3: something members in the first couple. 1179 00:43:56,241 --> 00:43:58,281 Speaker 2: Of weeks, which is unheard of. You know, I'm just 1180 00:43:58,361 --> 00:44:01,201 Speaker 2: fucking grand opening already had pace was packed because I 1181 00:44:01,321 --> 00:44:03,161 Speaker 2: was out handing out flyers like going and just go 1182 00:44:03,241 --> 00:44:05,281 Speaker 2: on and sent. He's like, can't you kill on this? 1183 00:44:05,401 --> 00:44:09,081 Speaker 2: You know? But and then my Supreme Court date comes up, 1184 00:44:09,721 --> 00:44:11,801 Speaker 2: and he's like, I'm like, hey, brid I'll just be 1185 00:44:11,841 --> 00:44:13,201 Speaker 2: away for a week and know it's got court coming 1186 00:44:13,241 --> 00:44:14,881 Speaker 2: up to go to court, but the Supreme Court, I'll 1187 00:44:14,881 --> 00:44:16,801 Speaker 2: be back Okay, yep, no way. He's sweet. So I 1188 00:44:16,841 --> 00:44:19,361 Speaker 2: went to Supreme Court, went up there with mom and dad, 1189 00:44:19,401 --> 00:44:20,761 Speaker 2: and then I went upstairs, not with mom and dad, 1190 00:44:20,801 --> 00:44:22,281 Speaker 2: but went up and see my barrister and my lawyer, 1191 00:44:22,401 --> 00:44:24,121 Speaker 2: and they sat me down like, yeah, you're probably looking 1192 00:44:24,161 --> 00:44:27,841 Speaker 2: at ten years bro. I'm like, what can't what do 1193 00:44:27,881 --> 00:44:29,521 Speaker 2: you mean look at all this shit? I had letters 1194 00:44:29,561 --> 00:44:32,921 Speaker 2: from the rehab saying Darcy's literally changed the rehab he's 1195 00:44:33,601 --> 00:44:35,401 Speaker 2: gave him a spill about that person has lost all 1196 00:44:35,401 --> 00:44:37,441 Speaker 2: the weight with me. Now he's mentoring everyone in here, 1197 00:44:37,761 --> 00:44:40,201 Speaker 2: he's volunteering. And then I did heap shit all my 1198 00:44:40,281 --> 00:44:43,361 Speaker 2: clean pissed tests letter from my psychologist. I'd have folded 1199 00:44:43,441 --> 00:44:45,441 Speaker 2: like this of letters of good shit I've done. And 1200 00:44:45,481 --> 00:44:47,081 Speaker 2: I'm like, what about all this shit? And like, yeah, 1201 00:44:47,081 --> 00:44:49,441 Speaker 2: that's probably not the year twelf few sentence and I'm like, 1202 00:44:49,601 --> 00:44:51,961 Speaker 2: are you fucking serious? As I said, I'm like what 1203 00:44:52,081 --> 00:44:54,641 Speaker 2: And I'm like that's bullshit, And they showed me other cases. Yeah, 1204 00:44:55,001 --> 00:44:56,841 Speaker 2: this bloke got done with a couple of grams of 1205 00:44:56,921 --> 00:44:59,201 Speaker 2: fucking wear a couple of grams are fucking cocaine. He's 1206 00:44:59,241 --> 00:45:01,041 Speaker 2: doing a year and a half. This ship got done 1207 00:45:01,041 --> 00:45:02,321 Speaker 2: with the quarter arounds, and I got done with a 1208 00:45:02,361 --> 00:45:04,681 Speaker 2: couple of bounds. Is the coup has ass assault chargers 1209 00:45:05,081 --> 00:45:07,881 Speaker 2: all these other ship and like I'm like fuck, and 1210 00:45:08,121 --> 00:45:10,561 Speaker 2: like you're doing like tenn minimum. I'm like I can't. 1211 00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:13,761 Speaker 2: So I didn't even tell Mom and Dad that. I 1212 00:45:13,881 --> 00:45:15,881 Speaker 2: was like, I'm not telling them that because Mom's still 1213 00:45:15,881 --> 00:45:18,081 Speaker 2: going like I'm made like and she's seen I'm making changes. 1214 00:45:18,161 --> 00:45:20,681 Speaker 2: Mum came down, visited me at the rehab and like 1215 00:45:20,881 --> 00:45:23,001 Speaker 2: she was so happy, you know what I mean. And 1216 00:45:23,401 --> 00:45:25,561 Speaker 2: I believe because I changed my life and I made 1217 00:45:25,601 --> 00:45:29,401 Speaker 2: these changes. This is why my mum's still alive because 1218 00:45:29,481 --> 00:45:31,561 Speaker 2: like good energy, good calm up, like I did good. 1219 00:45:31,601 --> 00:45:33,641 Speaker 2: And that's that's what the universe is rewarding me with 1220 00:45:34,001 --> 00:45:36,121 Speaker 2: these moments and memories with my mom before she goes. 1221 00:45:36,281 --> 00:45:38,081 Speaker 2: It's come here now. But I've made a lot of 1222 00:45:38,121 --> 00:45:40,401 Speaker 2: positive moments with them. That's what matters, you know. So 1223 00:45:40,521 --> 00:45:43,001 Speaker 2: when there's certain Preme Courts sat down, I'm like, fuck ma, 1224 00:45:43,161 --> 00:45:45,841 Speaker 2: And then but the prosecution started giving me this wrap 1225 00:45:45,921 --> 00:45:47,841 Speaker 2: and he's like, mate, he's making big change in the 1226 00:45:47,881 --> 00:45:51,241 Speaker 2: community's helping the rehab. He's all volunteer works. And the 1227 00:45:51,321 --> 00:45:53,241 Speaker 2: Supreme Court judge got off for sennything and then I 1228 00:45:53,321 --> 00:45:56,601 Speaker 2: ended up getting four years with a third with a 1229 00:45:56,641 --> 00:46:00,561 Speaker 2: fifteen month bottom and I was just like, so four 1230 00:46:00,681 --> 00:46:02,921 Speaker 2: year top, you got your bottom? Yeah, so and then 1231 00:46:02,961 --> 00:46:05,761 Speaker 2: I was just like and then turning and he's just like, 1232 00:46:07,321 --> 00:46:11,281 Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, can't. And they also bought in time served. 1233 00:46:11,321 --> 00:46:14,121 Speaker 2: So usually with Supreme Court, they'll wipe the time you're 1234 00:46:14,161 --> 00:46:16,321 Speaker 2: done and they'll start pressure here. Yeah, but I already 1235 00:46:16,321 --> 00:46:18,401 Speaker 2: had eight months so that she said, yep, so you've 1236 00:46:18,401 --> 00:46:20,641 Speaker 2: got to go back for seven months. Wow. So and 1237 00:46:20,761 --> 00:46:23,321 Speaker 2: she's like she the Supreme Court judge said, this is 1238 00:46:23,401 --> 00:46:26,481 Speaker 2: the best rehabbabilitation she has ever seen. The Supreme Court 1239 00:46:26,561 --> 00:46:29,121 Speaker 2: judge she's been a Supreme Court judge for ten years. Anyway. 1240 00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:30,361 Speaker 2: So I went back in there, did my time, and 1241 00:46:30,441 --> 00:46:32,161 Speaker 2: my boy he's got back out, and then my mate 1242 00:46:32,201 --> 00:46:33,841 Speaker 2: picked me up. The runs their forty five. He picked 1243 00:46:33,881 --> 00:46:34,081 Speaker 2: me up. 1244 00:46:34,121 --> 00:46:36,321 Speaker 3: You're like, take me back to the forty five. Now, 1245 00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:37,521 Speaker 3: I'm ready to go. Let's do this, you know what 1246 00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:39,401 Speaker 3: I mean. He's like, yeah, you probably want to call 1247 00:46:39,441 --> 00:46:40,161 Speaker 3: my business partner. 1248 00:46:40,201 --> 00:46:43,281 Speaker 2: Bro. I'm like why and he's just like, oh, probably 1249 00:46:43,281 --> 00:46:45,201 Speaker 2: probably just have a chat ye, And I rang him. 1250 00:46:45,201 --> 00:46:46,961 Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, bro, I'm fucking ready come back. It's 1251 00:46:46,961 --> 00:46:48,121 Speaker 2: got out, you know what I mean, and ready come 1252 00:46:48,201 --> 00:46:50,161 Speaker 2: back down and killed. And he's like, oh, bro, that's 1253 00:46:50,161 --> 00:46:52,321 Speaker 2: probably not going to happen. I'm like why. 1254 00:46:52,521 --> 00:46:54,561 Speaker 3: So I was like, bro, you're all over the newspapers 1255 00:46:54,761 --> 00:46:57,281 Speaker 3: like they media made out. If you look on looking 1256 00:46:57,281 --> 00:47:00,401 Speaker 3: at it's like fucking fitness. 1257 00:47:01,281 --> 00:47:04,561 Speaker 2: I'm there at the fort like this. It's like fitness junkie. 1258 00:47:05,521 --> 00:47:09,321 Speaker 2: They called me the Instagram hunk junk jarled for drugs 1259 00:47:09,401 --> 00:47:11,161 Speaker 2: fighting via, so I made it look like I was 1260 00:47:11,201 --> 00:47:12,961 Speaker 2: still doing this shit when I was out running. This 1261 00:47:13,281 --> 00:47:14,761 Speaker 2: made it look like I was selling drugs while I 1262 00:47:14,801 --> 00:47:16,761 Speaker 2: was there five, but I wasn't. It was before that. 1263 00:47:17,161 --> 00:47:19,921 Speaker 2: But the media, you know, they played up. So He's like, bro, 1264 00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:21,961 Speaker 2: we had to play it because I was coaching coppers 1265 00:47:22,001 --> 00:47:23,641 Speaker 2: in there and show went to the cops and I'm like, hey, 1266 00:47:23,721 --> 00:47:25,201 Speaker 2: come here, guys for the group session. Like I had 1267 00:47:25,241 --> 00:47:26,601 Speaker 2: coppers and there I was training and shit, you know 1268 00:47:26,641 --> 00:47:27,881 Speaker 2: what I mean, I was in the group class. And 1269 00:47:27,921 --> 00:47:29,481 Speaker 2: then they're like, well, we had to play it up, 1270 00:47:29,521 --> 00:47:31,161 Speaker 2: like we had no idea that you were doing all 1271 00:47:31,241 --> 00:47:35,041 Speaker 2: this stuff behind the scenes. And I'm like, because I was. 1272 00:47:35,841 --> 00:47:38,441 Speaker 2: Their name was forty five fucking where it was like 1273 00:47:38,561 --> 00:47:40,921 Speaker 2: all over the headlines, and obviously all the members are like, 1274 00:47:41,121 --> 00:47:44,201 Speaker 2: what's going on with you? And they had to be like, oh, 1275 00:47:44,281 --> 00:47:45,841 Speaker 2: we didn't know what was going on. He was doing 1276 00:47:45,881 --> 00:47:47,721 Speaker 2: this behind our back, and they had to make me 1277 00:47:47,801 --> 00:47:50,761 Speaker 2: look like shit sort of to get their business, which 1278 00:47:50,761 --> 00:47:53,521 Speaker 2: I understand, completely understand. So I was back at square one, 1279 00:47:53,601 --> 00:47:55,401 Speaker 2: I'm like, what the fuck we're going to do, can't 1280 00:47:55,401 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? So I ended up going 1281 00:47:58,481 --> 00:48:00,521 Speaker 2: to my local gym at Good Life term site. So 1282 00:48:00,601 --> 00:48:02,761 Speaker 2: I signed up there and I was training there, and 1283 00:48:02,801 --> 00:48:04,801 Speaker 2: then I'm like, funk, I want a PETE here, you know, 1284 00:48:05,481 --> 00:48:08,321 Speaker 2: personal trainer. But see being a PTE face to face, 1285 00:48:08,441 --> 00:48:09,841 Speaker 2: it's like it's either make it or break it. You 1286 00:48:09,881 --> 00:48:12,001 Speaker 2: got to pay your rent. It's commission only. Like if 1287 00:48:12,001 --> 00:48:13,561 Speaker 2: you don't make your money, you've got to pay these guys. 1288 00:48:13,761 --> 00:48:15,681 Speaker 2: You're out a contract for six months a year. So 1289 00:48:15,761 --> 00:48:17,801 Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, I've got to make something myself here. 1290 00:48:18,161 --> 00:48:20,281 Speaker 2: And then went in the Good Life and I already 1291 00:48:20,321 --> 00:48:21,521 Speaker 2: knew a lot of people from there because I was 1292 00:48:21,561 --> 00:48:23,161 Speaker 2: training there, so I knew a fair amount of people. 1293 00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:25,161 Speaker 2: There was a local gym, I knew everyone, and I 1294 00:48:25,321 --> 00:48:27,201 Speaker 2: was like fuck this. And I was living with made 1295 00:48:27,241 --> 00:48:29,480 Speaker 2: of Mine and then I had no license at the time, 1296 00:48:30,441 --> 00:48:33,121 Speaker 2: so I would get up at every morning at one 1297 00:48:33,201 --> 00:48:37,281 Speaker 2: fifteen am, one fifteen am, get up, do my journal, 1298 00:48:37,521 --> 00:48:39,201 Speaker 2: do my could sure because I started all doing that 1299 00:48:39,441 --> 00:48:40,961 Speaker 2: as well with all my routine and stuff that I 1300 00:48:41,121 --> 00:48:42,561 Speaker 2: do on my social medida. I started doing all that 1301 00:48:42,601 --> 00:48:44,001 Speaker 2: when I was in jail. When I would wake up 1302 00:48:44,041 --> 00:48:46,401 Speaker 2: every morning before I got locked out, I'd write down 1303 00:48:46,441 --> 00:48:49,201 Speaker 2: my like, just all the painting calls I said. Every day, 1304 00:48:49,201 --> 00:48:52,321 Speaker 2: I wrote down no matter what happens to Mum, I'll 1305 00:48:52,441 --> 00:48:54,961 Speaker 2: keep making proud long after she's gone. I wrote that 1306 00:48:55,041 --> 00:48:56,921 Speaker 2: every morning. I still write it to this day. And 1307 00:48:56,961 --> 00:48:58,481 Speaker 2: i'd write down I'm never going back to being a 1308 00:48:58,521 --> 00:49:00,321 Speaker 2: piece of shit again. I'd write down all those thoughts 1309 00:49:00,361 --> 00:49:01,761 Speaker 2: that I write down every day, and it's sort of 1310 00:49:02,361 --> 00:49:03,961 Speaker 2: just like it hype me up in the morning, I'm 1311 00:49:04,001 --> 00:49:06,401 Speaker 2: just like, yep, this was reminded me why And the 1312 00:49:06,681 --> 00:49:09,841 Speaker 2: coffee in the cold shower. What's done it? But I'll 1313 00:49:09,881 --> 00:49:10,161 Speaker 2: tell you. 1314 00:49:11,761 --> 00:49:14,641 Speaker 3: So every morning in jail, okay, I won't and he 1315 00:49:14,721 --> 00:49:15,801 Speaker 3: m my cell a head or anything. 1316 00:49:15,881 --> 00:49:17,641 Speaker 2: They started to have my bushels tea in that and 1317 00:49:17,721 --> 00:49:19,601 Speaker 2: then i'd have my cold shower. But I'd fill up 1318 00:49:19,601 --> 00:49:21,321 Speaker 2: my coffee in the cold shower in jail. This is 1319 00:49:21,321 --> 00:49:22,961 Speaker 2: every morning, and then while I was having a cold 1320 00:49:23,041 --> 00:49:25,161 Speaker 2: shower in jail, I would drink my coffee. That was 1321 00:49:25,201 --> 00:49:26,441 Speaker 2: just what I did in the morning. I did it 1322 00:49:26,521 --> 00:49:28,561 Speaker 2: every morning, no matter what. I'd fill up my coffee, 1323 00:49:28,601 --> 00:49:30,601 Speaker 2: marke out the shower water, I'll drink it while I 1324 00:49:30,641 --> 00:49:32,601 Speaker 2: was having my cold shower. I'd sit down. Then i'd 1325 00:49:32,601 --> 00:49:34,761 Speaker 2: write down my journal or closed mine doing my little meditation, 1326 00:49:34,801 --> 00:49:36,761 Speaker 2: and I'll go out and train. That was the morning routine. 1327 00:49:37,201 --> 00:49:39,641 Speaker 2: And then when I got out, like I started after 1328 00:49:39,681 --> 00:49:42,401 Speaker 2: I built my PT business, I started doing throwing like 1329 00:49:42,521 --> 00:49:44,281 Speaker 2: I was in the I wanted to show everyone. I 1330 00:49:44,321 --> 00:49:45,601 Speaker 2: wanted to get my story out there. I wanted to 1331 00:49:45,601 --> 00:49:48,121 Speaker 2: show everyone what saved my life. And I believe routine 1332 00:49:48,161 --> 00:49:50,401 Speaker 2: and structure same my life. Having a routine and I 1333 00:49:50,481 --> 00:49:52,001 Speaker 2: woke up at the same time, I ate at the 1334 00:49:52,041 --> 00:49:54,281 Speaker 2: same time I did my little morning routine. I went 1335 00:49:54,481 --> 00:49:55,961 Speaker 2: better at the same time. It was structure. I never 1336 00:49:56,001 --> 00:49:58,441 Speaker 2: had structure my whole life, never even fucking slept my 1337 00:49:58,481 --> 00:50:00,921 Speaker 2: whole life. I don't have structure like I's wake up 1338 00:50:00,961 --> 00:50:02,761 Speaker 2: into a solid routine. Every day got by and that's 1339 00:50:02,761 --> 00:50:03,841 Speaker 2: how I got three but down and every day I 1340 00:50:03,841 --> 00:50:05,761 Speaker 2: got better and better. My mind got thre clearer, and 1341 00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:08,041 Speaker 2: I felt happier and happier, you know, and I'll find 1342 00:50:08,081 --> 00:50:10,041 Speaker 2: more focus like I was getting through even though all 1343 00:50:10,121 --> 00:50:11,481 Speaker 2: that stuff is gone with my mum and dad on 1344 00:50:11,521 --> 00:50:12,041 Speaker 2: the outside. 1345 00:50:12,401 --> 00:50:13,961 Speaker 3: Every day was like okay, I could get through every 1346 00:50:14,001 --> 00:50:15,041 Speaker 3: day because I had my routine. 1347 00:50:15,121 --> 00:50:16,440 Speaker 2: I knew what I had to do. It kept me busy. 1348 00:50:16,881 --> 00:50:19,201 Speaker 2: So I drank a coffee in my shower in the 1349 00:50:19,281 --> 00:50:21,001 Speaker 2: morning and filmed it on my Instagram and I'm like, 1350 00:50:21,121 --> 00:50:24,121 Speaker 2: yeah and then coffee and I'm like I looked at it. 1351 00:50:24,161 --> 00:50:26,081 Speaker 2: I'm like, this is fucking boring, you know what I mean, 1352 00:50:26,201 --> 00:50:28,801 Speaker 2: Like I need to say that. Something came over me 1353 00:50:29,241 --> 00:50:30,841 Speaker 2: and then I was just like film it and I 1354 00:50:30,921 --> 00:50:33,921 Speaker 2: went bang shut on my face. I'm like and then 1355 00:50:33,961 --> 00:50:36,441 Speaker 2: this fucking have my cold shower. And then I was 1356 00:50:36,441 --> 00:50:39,881 Speaker 2: looked at it and I'm like this is gold. This 1357 00:50:40,081 --> 00:50:42,721 Speaker 2: is fucking funny, and I'm like, what a fucking yes, 1358 00:50:43,121 --> 00:50:45,881 Speaker 2: I think I'm a fucking bit, but I did that. 1359 00:50:46,001 --> 00:50:49,881 Speaker 2: Then I posted it and I'm like routine coffee, cold shower, 1360 00:50:50,081 --> 00:50:51,481 Speaker 2: like that's what I put up, and I'll put up 1361 00:50:51,521 --> 00:50:53,761 Speaker 2: the first one. And the amount of messages I got 1362 00:50:53,841 --> 00:50:55,841 Speaker 2: was ridiculous, Like it this went off, it was just 1363 00:50:55,961 --> 00:50:58,441 Speaker 2: like everyone's like, what the fuck is this? What are 1364 00:50:58,481 --> 00:51:00,601 Speaker 2: you doing? And then obviously I started taking both of 1365 00:51:00,681 --> 00:51:03,281 Speaker 2: the journal laughter and all the positive stuff too, and 1366 00:51:03,401 --> 00:51:04,121 Speaker 2: then I'm like. 1367 00:51:04,401 --> 00:51:06,161 Speaker 3: This is how I'm to show everyone that this is 1368 00:51:06,241 --> 00:51:08,601 Speaker 3: my routine and this is how I never break routine. 1369 00:51:08,841 --> 00:51:10,761 Speaker 2: Okay, if you've been watching Instagram, when do you never 1370 00:51:10,961 --> 00:51:12,481 Speaker 2: see me miss a coffee on the face of the 1371 00:51:12,521 --> 00:51:16,721 Speaker 2: morning every day, Saturday, Sunday, public Holidays, my Birthday, New 1372 00:51:16,841 --> 00:51:19,401 Speaker 2: Year is Christmas, coffee is on the face. Bro Okay, 1373 00:51:19,601 --> 00:51:21,521 Speaker 2: It's just that's routine. And that's why I'm trying to 1374 00:51:21,521 --> 00:51:24,441 Speaker 2: show everyone with my online stuff is with routine and structure, 1375 00:51:24,441 --> 00:51:25,841 Speaker 2: you can save your life. That's what's going to keep 1376 00:51:25,841 --> 00:51:27,841 Speaker 2: you on track. Because the second you break your routine, 1377 00:51:27,881 --> 00:51:29,881 Speaker 2: you break your mindset. That's where old habits come back 1378 00:51:29,921 --> 00:51:32,000 Speaker 2: in when you feel lost and things are messy again. 1379 00:51:32,241 --> 00:51:33,921 Speaker 2: Nine saurb of ten. That's why people go back to 1380 00:51:33,961 --> 00:51:35,561 Speaker 2: the drugs and that because they feel like they're lost. 1381 00:51:35,801 --> 00:51:38,041 Speaker 2: That's when, like in jail, you throw most men. When 1382 00:51:38,081 --> 00:51:39,960 Speaker 2: the people when they get out of jail, they lose 1383 00:51:40,001 --> 00:51:42,281 Speaker 2: that routine and they go back to shit. They're straight 1384 00:51:42,321 --> 00:51:45,441 Speaker 2: back in. So I had that mentality that I need 1385 00:51:45,561 --> 00:51:47,361 Speaker 2: to keep this routine. So when I got out of jail, 1386 00:51:48,001 --> 00:51:50,281 Speaker 2: I kept waking up early, I kept writing the listen down, 1387 00:51:50,321 --> 00:51:51,881 Speaker 2: I kept doing the coffee. I kept that. 1388 00:51:52,001 --> 00:51:54,481 Speaker 3: My culture started throwing on my face for a lack 1389 00:51:54,521 --> 00:51:55,401 Speaker 3: of shits and gigs. 1390 00:51:55,441 --> 00:51:57,161 Speaker 2: But it took off. But there's thing is. But the 1391 00:51:57,201 --> 00:51:59,761 Speaker 2: point behind the story is I never break my routine 1392 00:52:00,201 --> 00:52:03,201 Speaker 2: and I'm six years so I'm wearing a super successful business. 1393 00:52:03,481 --> 00:52:06,281 Speaker 2: I'm fucking killing it. Like my family proud. I'll wake 1394 00:52:06,401 --> 00:52:09,641 Speaker 2: up happy every day myself. And this is what everyone. 1395 00:52:09,721 --> 00:52:11,801 Speaker 2: If you ask someone what is a better feeling than 1396 00:52:11,841 --> 00:52:14,041 Speaker 2: waking up happy every day? You know, I waking up 1397 00:52:14,081 --> 00:52:16,601 Speaker 2: happy nothing beat it. Waking up the press feels like shit, 1398 00:52:16,641 --> 00:52:19,601 Speaker 2: waking up feeling lost, waking up upset, angry, anything, ship 1399 00:52:19,801 --> 00:52:21,241 Speaker 2: Waking up happy trumps. 1400 00:52:20,961 --> 00:52:23,921 Speaker 1: Everything, you know, depending if I'm stressed, yeah, but you. 1401 00:52:23,961 --> 00:52:36,001 Speaker 2: Probably stressed me get rubbing. But why a whole coffee 1402 00:52:36,081 --> 00:52:38,001 Speaker 2: thing took off. And I've done ever since and I'll 1403 00:52:38,081 --> 00:52:40,281 Speaker 2: keep doing till that show people. That's the whole purpose 1404 00:52:40,361 --> 00:52:43,321 Speaker 2: mine it. But anyway, so I was doing that face 1405 00:52:43,401 --> 00:52:44,881 Speaker 2: to face for I was doing that for a year 1406 00:52:44,921 --> 00:52:46,761 Speaker 2: year and a bit easy grinding, and that's when I 1407 00:52:46,761 --> 00:52:49,121 Speaker 2: was sort of making my mum proud, making everyone proud, 1408 00:52:49,241 --> 00:52:51,321 Speaker 2: like going around them showing my dad was always and 1409 00:52:51,361 --> 00:52:53,521 Speaker 2: my dad's like an old builder, old Australian, but like 1410 00:52:53,761 --> 00:52:55,281 Speaker 2: you got to be a chippy or a brick layer 1411 00:52:55,361 --> 00:52:57,041 Speaker 2: or a fucking electrician or else, You're not going to 1412 00:52:57,041 --> 00:52:59,440 Speaker 2: get anywhere. You need to trade. Son, I'm like, funk off, 1413 00:52:59,481 --> 00:53:00,681 Speaker 2: can't you know what I mean? I don't need to trade? 1414 00:53:00,721 --> 00:53:03,041 Speaker 2: And when I start doing peting, it's like, oh, probably 1415 00:53:03,081 --> 00:53:04,441 Speaker 2: not a good idea, you know what I mean. I'm like, no, 1416 00:53:04,641 --> 00:53:06,641 Speaker 2: this is my passion. I love doing it. And then 1417 00:53:06,641 --> 00:53:08,081 Speaker 2: when I started making the money I was made, like 1418 00:53:08,161 --> 00:53:09,601 Speaker 2: doing that many sessions, I would make him five to 1419 00:53:09,641 --> 00:53:11,601 Speaker 2: six grand a week pta you know what I mean, 1420 00:53:11,641 --> 00:53:13,401 Speaker 2: I'll go show how much money I'm making. He's like, 1421 00:53:13,801 --> 00:53:17,401 Speaker 2: get fucked. You're like, fucking fucking what fucking aways happy? 1422 00:53:17,441 --> 00:53:19,361 Speaker 2: But he was proud of me, you know. And I've 1423 00:53:19,401 --> 00:53:22,361 Speaker 2: never my dad and mom. I've never given anything in 1424 00:53:22,441 --> 00:53:24,001 Speaker 2: my life to be proud of my whole life, not 1425 00:53:24,081 --> 00:53:27,480 Speaker 2: one thing. Never won a school fucking school carnival thing, 1426 00:53:27,641 --> 00:53:29,721 Speaker 2: never won any awardsn't even finish school. I did eve, 1427 00:53:29,761 --> 00:53:32,961 Speaker 2: finishing nine, starting yourn. I was expelled by fucking I've 1428 00:53:33,201 --> 00:53:34,481 Speaker 2: nothing to be proud of. What do you reckon? I'm 1429 00:53:34,481 --> 00:53:36,281 Speaker 2: gonna what I had to be proud of. Was I 1430 00:53:36,321 --> 00:53:38,241 Speaker 2: could smoke more drugs than you, I could stay away 1431 00:53:38,321 --> 00:53:39,881 Speaker 2: longer than you. That's what I had to be proud of. 1432 00:53:39,921 --> 00:53:42,361 Speaker 2: I'll have more assault charges you. I'm crimin with you. 1433 00:53:42,601 --> 00:53:44,081 Speaker 2: That was my life. I had no thing to be 1434 00:53:44,161 --> 00:53:46,321 Speaker 2: proud of. So when I'm going showing him how good 1435 00:53:46,321 --> 00:53:47,921 Speaker 2: I'm doing it, We'll go over there see mom, because 1436 00:53:47,921 --> 00:53:50,961 Speaker 2: I'd obviously visit them on the weekends. Go see mom's, 1437 00:53:51,721 --> 00:53:53,361 Speaker 2: try and make as many memories. I came with Mum 1438 00:53:54,041 --> 00:53:56,521 Speaker 2: and see dad, and Dad would sit by the fire 1439 00:53:56,561 --> 00:53:58,001 Speaker 2: and he sat me down. He's like, son of I'm 1440 00:53:58,041 --> 00:53:59,841 Speaker 2: fucking proud of you. You know, I just started fucking. 1441 00:54:00,841 --> 00:54:02,681 Speaker 3: It's like my dad has never told my mom told 1442 00:54:02,721 --> 00:54:03,401 Speaker 3: me she was proud of me. 1443 00:54:03,521 --> 00:54:05,960 Speaker 2: When I was out to rehab change. M'm hurt the start. 1444 00:54:06,041 --> 00:54:07,521 Speaker 2: She's like, I love my mom, love my dad too, 1445 00:54:07,561 --> 00:54:10,321 Speaker 2: but it's like she always stood buy me. Mom was 1446 00:54:10,321 --> 00:54:11,841 Speaker 2: always the rock, Like she was like the one that 1447 00:54:11,921 --> 00:54:14,241 Speaker 2: always stood buy me no matter what, you know. And 1448 00:54:14,361 --> 00:54:17,001 Speaker 2: then my dad sat down and telling me I'm fucking 1449 00:54:17,041 --> 00:54:18,681 Speaker 2: proud of her. I'm killing it, and I was just 1450 00:54:18,761 --> 00:54:22,281 Speaker 2: started crying. But that just fired me up. I put 1451 00:54:22,321 --> 00:54:24,081 Speaker 2: a thing on my story and today, like proud is 1452 00:54:24,161 --> 00:54:26,521 Speaker 2: the most powerful word in the whole world. If you 1453 00:54:26,601 --> 00:54:28,641 Speaker 2: walk around proud, if you make the ones you love proud, 1454 00:54:28,721 --> 00:54:30,361 Speaker 2: if you're proud of yourself, you're proud of the things 1455 00:54:30,401 --> 00:54:33,121 Speaker 2: you're doing. This is life. That is happenings proud, being 1456 00:54:33,201 --> 00:54:36,161 Speaker 2: proud and making people proud, that is happiness. That is 1457 00:54:36,241 --> 00:54:38,561 Speaker 2: the trump feeling of the best word in the world. 1458 00:54:39,041 --> 00:54:41,881 Speaker 2: I can't love is good too, but proud. It's fucking huge. 1459 00:54:42,121 --> 00:54:44,201 Speaker 3: When your mindset's right, you can achieve anything, just like 1460 00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:45,641 Speaker 3: my mindset, all the shit I've. 1461 00:54:45,521 --> 00:54:48,561 Speaker 2: Achieved from coming from nothing, from my past to building. 1462 00:54:49,401 --> 00:54:51,201 Speaker 2: I believe I'm the best coach in the world because 1463 00:54:51,241 --> 00:54:53,561 Speaker 2: I care and I actually am changing lives. I'm not 1464 00:54:53,601 --> 00:54:56,361 Speaker 2: getting people to sign up for another number. I care factor. Yeah, 1465 00:54:56,361 --> 00:54:58,321 Speaker 2: i might not be making millions like some of the coaches. 1466 00:54:58,401 --> 00:54:59,841 Speaker 2: Good on them, but they're not there for the people. 1467 00:55:00,241 --> 00:55:03,041 Speaker 2: And I'm actually making the difference in people's lives, you know. So, 1468 00:55:04,201 --> 00:55:07,321 Speaker 2: and I'm anyone can do that, you know. That's why 1469 00:55:07,801 --> 00:55:09,841 Speaker 2: my online presence now is what I love it. 1470 00:55:11,801 --> 00:55:14,761 Speaker 1: So what would that? So, before we go describe you 1471 00:55:14,881 --> 00:55:15,481 Speaker 1: one word. 1472 00:55:16,201 --> 00:55:20,321 Speaker 2: I hope I'm hoping for people who are struggling. That's 1473 00:55:20,401 --> 00:55:28,841 Speaker 2: been h m hm