WEBVTT - It's all short showers and shallow baths from here on!

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<v Speaker 1>Appod Shape Production. Welcome back to another episode about I

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<v Speaker 1>Bad Mum podcast, a podcast where we bitch about our

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<v Speaker 1>kids for ten minutes. That's not my kids, honestly, just

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<v Speaker 1>think that. They're like, what are you gonna talk about

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<v Speaker 1>that on your podcast? Because I'll write notes every now

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<v Speaker 1>and then. I'm like, oh, that's a perfect topic for

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast. And they're like, oh, the podcast where you

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<v Speaker 1>just bitch and moan about you kids saying bad things

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<v Speaker 1>about us?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you want us to do? Say good things?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, will be good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was gonna say, then show me the money. Guys.

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<v Speaker 2>The other part of it is, Katie, we do love

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<v Speaker 2>our children. We just have moments of parenting that come up,

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<v Speaker 2>like every other person that is doing this thing called parenting,

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<v Speaker 2>that you you just need to speak about because it

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<v Speaker 2>gives some relevance to other people. Yeah, because like sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>you'll say stuff and I'll go, ah, yeah, I get it,

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<v Speaker 2>except I'm not as laid down the track. I'm earlier

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<v Speaker 2>in that sort of spin of it. Two girls are

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<v Speaker 2>all to come, and it's the same with like moms

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<v Speaker 2>with the boys. They've got the same sort of stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just on a higher level. Yeah, the boys are

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<v Speaker 2>harder at the younger age. They get easier on the

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<v Speaker 2>later stage. That's what most of the mums that I

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<v Speaker 2>know they've got boys, they put in the hard yards early,

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<v Speaker 2>whereas we've had a good start and then ours gets

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<v Speaker 2>harder with the hormones coming in.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Joe was a high speed car chase in our

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<v Speaker 1>area the other night, and when I googled it the

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<v Speaker 1>next day, it was a fifteen year old boy. He

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<v Speaker 1>was being chased by a police helicopter and a police

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<v Speaker 1>obviously car.

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<v Speaker 2>He must be a really good driver for fifteen. That's

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<v Speaker 2>my girl's age. I know what's with that question is yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but my question is where are the parents. Yeah, these

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<v Speaker 2>children that are running around loose, they've got parents.

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<v Speaker 1>Your solution to it was perfect that we should all

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<v Speaker 1>just buy manual cars.

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<v Speaker 2>One percent going to get stolen. Trust me if it's

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<v Speaker 2>a manual, because these little ships don't know how to

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<v Speaker 2>drive manuals. I ain't going out and getting their license

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<v Speaker 2>and going, hey, I need an auto and emmanual. Why

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<v Speaker 2>because I want to steal cars for the rest of

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<v Speaker 2>my life. Flogs.

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<v Speaker 1>Am I mad mum for calling someone else's kid an asshole?

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<v Speaker 2>Standard? No? I don't call other people's kids assholes, often.

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<v Speaker 1>Not to their faces. This incident was this morning. Actually,

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<v Speaker 1>I was driving into work and and when I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>got kids in the car, like I either like to,

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<v Speaker 1>depending on my mood, listen to a podcast or listen

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<v Speaker 1>to music. Depends on whether I want to be thoughtful

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<v Speaker 1>and have some inspiration for the day, or whether I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to be at retro's listening to the nineties

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<v Speaker 1>dance hits.

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<v Speaker 2>Just needing a little bit of a sensory overload to

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<v Speaker 2>get you through the morning, make me feel young again, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>totally get it.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, driving in I enjoy driving by myself. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I get it a bit a piece and choiet, get

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<v Speaker 1>your phone calls done, that kind of stuff. And the

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<v Speaker 1>car in front of me, obviously there's some kids. You

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<v Speaker 1>can see kids in the back because you know they're

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<v Speaker 1>in car seats, but you know they're kind of shit

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<v Speaker 1>shit gothers, arms and legs and shit. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't see it, but I'm sure at some point there

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<v Speaker 1>was the old reach around from the mum grabbing an ankle.

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<v Speaker 1>And then all of a sudden, I see a shoe

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<v Speaker 1>thrown out the window, and you could see it's a

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<v Speaker 1>small kid's shoe that's been thrown out of the window.

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<v Speaker 1>My instant reaction is, oh, my goodness, like, that's a

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<v Speaker 1>shoe you've been thrown out, and then I've run over

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<v Speaker 1>it because we can't right behind, and I didn't realize

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<v Speaker 1>that the shoe was going to come flying out the window.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I've run over the shoe and then I've

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<v Speaker 1>like looked in my mirror behind I'm like, oh, that

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<v Speaker 1>shoes ruined now. But my instant thought was you are

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<v Speaker 1>an asshole. That kid's an asshole because that mom has

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<v Speaker 1>gone out and she has spent her money on your

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<v Speaker 1>shoes so that you can do whatever you wherever you're going,

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<v Speaker 1>kindie park, whatever, so you can do that shit because

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<v Speaker 1>you've got shoes on. Now you've just thrown a shoe

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<v Speaker 1>out the window.

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<v Speaker 2>Made me feel really sad, maybe feel sad angry. Pulled

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<v Speaker 2>up and that was my kid thrown their shoe out

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<v Speaker 2>the window. Yeah, that's our windows have got locks these days.

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<v Speaker 2>Just lock it, lock it page those animals in agent.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't let them throw their clothes out of the I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think I've ever seen that, and no, I've not

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<v Speaker 2>even experienced that as a parent.

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<v Speaker 1>This was a small child, obviously I could see.

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<v Speaker 2>The or like a sibling. I threw it a sibling

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<v Speaker 2>straight away. Maybe it was stuck in the middle of

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<v Speaker 2>the two car seats. Imagine that, right, Oh, you little prick,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just going to throw it out the window. You're

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<v Speaker 2>going to get in trouble from mum for throwing yours

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<v Speaker 2>at it, Do you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Either way, there was a kid in the car that

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<v Speaker 1>was an asshole, that was like, I don't care about

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<v Speaker 1>mum's money and the fact that she went out and

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<v Speaker 1>bought these shoes for my brother or for me. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a complete disregard for you and your time and your

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<v Speaker 1>hard work, anything which never changes. Rach. Honestly, we talk

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<v Speaker 1>about the things we should and shouldn't do as parents,

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<v Speaker 1>and we talk about the fact that a child psychologist

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<v Speaker 1>will often say do it differently. We talk about the

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<v Speaker 1>ninety second rule, wait and have a think before you react.

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<v Speaker 1>I cried the other day when one of the girls

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<v Speaker 1>was in the shower. This was like a fake cry,

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<v Speaker 1>but I was like, at the end of my teller,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know how to get this into their heads,

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<v Speaker 1>and I pretended to start crying, and she's like, what

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<v Speaker 1>are you crying about? I was like, you've taken so

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<v Speaker 1>long in this shower. I can't afford the electricity bill.

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<v Speaker 2>Did they just laugh or just say oh god, Mom's

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<v Speaker 2>lost again.

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<v Speaker 1>She's like stared at me, like serious, are you really

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<v Speaker 1>crying over the electricity bill or the water bill? The

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<v Speaker 1>fact that I'm having a long shower. And then in

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<v Speaker 1>my own head, I'm going, are you really pretending to

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<v Speaker 1>cry to try and get her to have a shorter shower?

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you just need to put like one of those

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<v Speaker 2>time caps on the hot water system. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if you can do this anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you can get them from Bunnings. But my hesitation

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<v Speaker 1>on that is that that's the shower that guests will

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<v Speaker 1>use if they come to stay.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you've only got five minutes. Sorry, you don't get

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<v Speaker 2>longer than that. Sorry, our guests that stay five minutes. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but you if it's easily to put on, it's easy

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<v Speaker 2>to remove.

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<v Speaker 1>We time our showers in this house.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. Let's just roll with that.

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<v Speaker 1>My auntie came and stayed a couple of years ago,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's really old school in that she has baths

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<v Speaker 1>a lot o water bill when she left after having

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<v Speaker 1>a bath every day, it's a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>We're sharing one or two.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry, we tie our showers and the bath can only

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<v Speaker 1>go up to this line.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't feel above that line. I would loll so hard

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<v Speaker 2>if that happened. Oh sorry, you run out of hot water.

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<v Speaker 2>You'll just have to use the bottom.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it okay? If I have a bath, yeah, sure,

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<v Speaker 1>if you want a real shallow.

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<v Speaker 2>One, you can wash your feet in that.

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<v Speaker 1>We're thinking about getting a B day, just use that instead.

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<v Speaker 1>As a kid growing up, we had a B day

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<v Speaker 1>in our house. Do you know what a B day is?

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<v Speaker 1>You wash your bum And I used to wash my

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<v Speaker 1>feet when I was a kid. And you know when

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<v Speaker 1>you start wearing like sneakers and your feet sink because

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<v Speaker 1>you wear them with no socks. Yeah, I never really

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<v Speaker 1>used the B day from my vagina, just my feet.

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<v Speaker 2>I was loving because you call it B day? What

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<v Speaker 2>is it? And I thought it was like the day.

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<v Speaker 1>Day?

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<v Speaker 2>So I could be wrong. I could be wrong. But

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<v Speaker 2>now that you're saying that, when I was living in

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<v Speaker 2>the Middle East for those few years, I used to

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<v Speaker 2>do the same thing. Used to wash my feet in

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<v Speaker 2>there when I get from work, because you're coming out

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<v Speaker 2>of your work choose and you're like, whoa, they are gross.

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<v Speaker 2>And that was with stockings, so I would just wash

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<v Speaker 2>my feet in there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I do think that they're actually quite a significant asset

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<v Speaker 2>to one's household when you think about it, like, we're

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<v Speaker 2>one of the only cultures that don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Clean your barm. We just use tissue paper. And really

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<v Speaker 1>that's quite gross, isn't it, because you're just smearing.

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<v Speaker 2>Eating from the same hands that you're wiping your bottom with.

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<v Speaker 1>Also the cleaning of your bum, we're just wiping it.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>When we were on holiday, we had a heated toilet seat.

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<v Speaker 2>When you travel to Japan, they've got so many buttons

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<v Speaker 2>on the side of a toilet. You know, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Got hoses. It goes up, it goes sideways.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember taking the kids and I had to go

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<v Speaker 2>to the toilet in order to learn how to use

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<v Speaker 2>the toilet, in order to be able to teach the

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<v Speaker 2>girls how to use the toilet because they looked at

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<v Speaker 2>all these buttons. And we went in ski season, so

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<v Speaker 2>it was freezing, but then that warmth when you sit down. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>don't get me wrong, when I sit down. If I

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<v Speaker 2>have to sit down on a toilet seat at Westfield

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<v Speaker 2>and it's warm, I'm fucking off that thing in a

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<v Speaker 2>hot That means somebody has been sitting on that too far,

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<v Speaker 2>too long. But you go to Japan and that seat

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<v Speaker 2>is heated, so it's actually kind of that. You sit

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<v Speaker 2>down and you're.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, I'll sit here for quite a while. This

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<v Speaker 1>is lovely, it's enjoyable toilet It's weird. Who's the thought.

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<v Speaker 2>Even going down that track of talking about kids and

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<v Speaker 2>toilets and wiping the bottom? How many times do you

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<v Speaker 2>have to have the conversation about toilet hygiene with your kids?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm talking all ages and this whole thing of going

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<v Speaker 2>why do you need fourteen squares of paper for one

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<v Speaker 2>Wii fold? Its three or four little squares follow them

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<v Speaker 2>together one Wii. That's plenty. That's not going through that paper, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>just cut back on the usage of the toilet paper,

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<v Speaker 2>not because we're short on toilet paper, but because you're

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<v Speaker 2>clogging the system. And you're like, yay hi, how many

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<v Speaker 2>times are after this conversation with my kids about toilet eyeiene?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Really implicating some bathroom rules in this episode, I

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<v Speaker 1>think so. Bath's are shallow, showers are timed, fold your

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<v Speaker 1>toilet roll.

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<v Speaker 2>Bi days are used for cleaning food for day B

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<v Speaker 2>day Day. Sounds very fancy, even just saying the word.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a fancy thing to have, but all it does

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<v Speaker 1>is shoot water up your asshole.