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Speaker 1: This is the Fitting In with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: How long has it been since they said I love you? Well, really,

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Speaker 2: I want to know if you're in a relationship and

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Speaker 2: I still haven't said it yet. Some people get carried away,

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Speaker 2: and like you said, Kate Richie, I love you can

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Speaker 2: mean a lot of things, a lot of different things

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Speaker 2: to a lot of different people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think if you're not yeah fit.

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Speaker 3: Can I give you a life improver a hack? Saying

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Speaker 3: the words I think I'm falling in love with you

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Speaker 3: can be a good way to lead you into it.

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Speaker 1: You mean, by your time.

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Speaker 3: Because you know we're talking about being keeno before. That

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Speaker 3: sort of gets you out of it. When you start

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Speaker 3: up with I think I'm falling in love with you,

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Speaker 3: I mean, first of all, the other person's going to be going,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, it's amazing. I feel the exact same way.

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Speaker 3: Then you can go I love you. Then you can

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Speaker 3: bring it out. But if you start with I think

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Speaker 3: I'm falling in love with you, Kate, it sort of

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Speaker 3: softens the blow.

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Speaker 4: And you're feeling your way a little bit more, gauging

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Speaker 4: how they might feel and if it's not something that

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Speaker 4: perhaps you grew up saying a lot of like you know,

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Speaker 4: I mean, we said I love you a lot, and

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Speaker 4: I say it a thousand times a day. I think

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Speaker 4: so for lots, for lots of different reasons. And to

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Speaker 4: my daughter, I wouldn't go an hour without saying it.

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Speaker 1: We say it to your TV. We do I do.

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Speaker 4: In all the posters of me in the office, I

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Speaker 4: love you, God, You're amazing.

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Speaker 1: We love you.

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Speaker 3: I think this is we're talking about humans. You're not

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Speaker 3: seafood linguine with.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, I'm back.

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Speaker 4: But I think you've got to practice those things. If

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Speaker 4: it doesn't come naturally to say the words I love you,

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Speaker 4: and it hasn't been said to you a lot, perhaps

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Speaker 4: when you're growing up, then it can be tricky.

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Speaker 1: It's it's loaded.

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Speaker 2: I think you need to be careful in a relationship

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Speaker 2: and that I've kind of always adopted. I don't say

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Speaker 2: it if you don't mean it. Some people. Some people

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Speaker 2: will say it just to keep the peace where knowing

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Speaker 2: that the other party wants to hear it. But I

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Speaker 2: went out with a girl once and she would say

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Speaker 2: I love you, and I would kind of look with

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Speaker 2: a panic on my face, and she go in that

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Speaker 2: shirt and I'd go very good, very good for you,

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Speaker 2: not bad. But I think at the same time it's

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Speaker 2: really good. I mean. This article goes on to say

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Speaker 2: the average time that somebody says I love you in

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Speaker 2: a relationship from the start to the first I love

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Speaker 2: you is six weeks.

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Speaker 3: Really, that's how many dates are you doing in six weeks?

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Speaker 3: You don't want to wake here. You can't say I

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Speaker 3: loved I can't, I can't I love you when you've

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Speaker 3: only been out for six or seven.

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Speaker 4: I think you can love. I do think you can

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Speaker 4: love somebody in six weeks. I don't think it's the

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Speaker 4: same kind of love you may have for somebody down

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Speaker 4: the track when you are married and you have a child,

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Speaker 4: and that's a different kind of love. But I do

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Speaker 4: think that you can like I love I love you.

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Speaker 4: I love so many things about you. I love being

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Speaker 4: with you, I love spending time with you. And then

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Speaker 4: there's the other version of I love you. You just have

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Speaker 4: to be very clear about which version you deliver it.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you say it in the start of

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Speaker 2: a relationship unless it's the clear version of what you're

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Speaker 2: both working towards. Don't you think that's dangerous to throw

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Speaker 2: it out there in a relationship, I love you that

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Speaker 2: you think they're hoping to hear.

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Speaker 4: Well, it's better than saying It's better than saying when

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Speaker 4: someone says to you I love you and you say,

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Speaker 4: I know you do.

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Speaker 2: I used to look at people.

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Speaker 1: That's nice, cute.

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Speaker 2: There's one time you should never say it. Never say

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Speaker 2: it for the first time in the throes of passion.

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Speaker 2: Why not, because I mean that could be lust talking

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Speaker 2: over your heart. Well, very it's a lazy time to

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Speaker 2: say it.

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Speaker 4: It's not lazy. It might get you over the line.

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Speaker 4: Not it gets you over the line, but it might.

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Speaker 4: It might like get you.

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Speaker 1: Hut what it means in your bed? Know what I

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Speaker 1: don't know?

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Speaker 4: What I mean is it might be such a difficult

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Speaker 4: thing for you to know how to say and get

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Speaker 4: the words out that when there is an overwhelming emotional, physical,

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Speaker 4: chemical reaction that once you get the first one out

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Speaker 4: of the way.

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Speaker 1: The first I love is we're talking Latrell Mitchell here

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Speaker 1: or what.

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Speaker 2: Are we out of context? Kate?

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Speaker 1: Either what I mean? You mean you just don't want

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Speaker 1: to get out of it.

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Speaker 2: Don't be scared of the words when you don't when

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Speaker 2: you're talking about that moment you don't want to you

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Speaker 2: don't want to throw it like, oh my gosh, their

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Speaker 2: pants have hit the floor.

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Speaker 1: I love you.

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Speaker 2: What I just thought that, combined with my feelings might

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Speaker 2: get you over the line. Cades you get over the line.

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Speaker 1: What I mean, give you the courage, That's what I meant.

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Speaker 1: How long with you?

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Speaker 2: Tomininger?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: As you were friends for.

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Speaker 3: Very long, friends and then housemates, maybe like you sort

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Speaker 3: of fantasize for long to be about three months?

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Speaker 1: Did you love her when she was your friend? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I think I probably did.

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Speaker 3: Looking can I get you that in a dole that

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Speaker 3: you had at time you were you would say I

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Speaker 3: love you today. I somewhat described that as a dead

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Speaker 3: giveaway fits and I think, yeah, so I think probably

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Speaker 3: three months. But yeah, that lot was made out of

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Speaker 3: dead people too. That yeah, yeah, well charges pending.

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Speaker 2: But I had to use it as a power play

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Speaker 2: because Lisa was in a situation where she wasn't sure

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Speaker 2: for stock about the relationship. She was like, sports, is

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Speaker 2: this guy going to commit to me? So I had

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Speaker 2: to use it to show how I felt. That's my

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Speaker 2: power you say no, she doesn't make me say it,

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Speaker 2: she said, I'm just not sure, and I said, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you how I feel because.

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Speaker 3: You're in a relationship at the time.

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Speaker 1: Is that no, mate?

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Speaker 3: Sorry, no, I got that wrong.

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Speaker 2: There was definitely no great that that was right at

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Speaker 2: the start of the relationship. There was no gray area.

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Speaker 1: So she asked you how you know?

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Speaker 4: She asked you, like, I'm feel o though I'm more

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Speaker 4: serious than you are. And you said, well, I'm going

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Speaker 4: to prove to you that I am as serious as you.

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Speaker 1: Lisa, I love you.

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Speaker 2: She didn't really say she didn't ask question. She just

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Speaker 2: said I'm not sure when I said, well, I'll show

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Speaker 2: you how sure I am.

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Speaker 3: Oh God, it's amazing that it survives, isn't it off you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I hope you were in the dark.

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Speaker 2: I was eating and then with mud crab in front

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Speaker 2: of him.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what we had.

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Speaker 2: Mud crab on the holidays?

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Speaker 3: Did you? She said?

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Speaker 2: This brings back horrible memories.

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Speaker 3: Mud crab is such a waste of that's new fish

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Speaker 3: markets after that incident, and they knew just to get

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Speaker 3: rid of all the memories, they've had to rip the

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Speaker 3: old ones down.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, try it on for size, guys.

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Speaker 2: Pistol Pete from Pigton's giving us a call. What's your story?

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Speaker 2: Radio in the background chat.

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Speaker 3: Sorry sorry, yeah, that's better, I've got you great.

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts, Peter?

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Speaker 5: Oh, definitely, like I've got a mate overseas Greek Island, Santorini.

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Speaker 5: He's done with not six weeks, four weeks. It's just

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Speaker 5: amplified because he's on holidays, met this girl, put it

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Speaker 5: out there, love you done, mud crabs, seafoodle, meding, diet

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Speaker 5: chucking it. So yeah, So I was just thinking, does

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Speaker 5: it implify if you if it's the you're on holidays

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Speaker 5: met someone, it's really interesting.

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Speaker 1: Interesting course, yeah, it's very interesting.

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Speaker 3: So did he Obviously he was keen of continuing and

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Speaker 3: when you when when it's time to go home, Obviously

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Speaker 3: the girl that he's met might go, well, he's not

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Speaker 3: really that keen on me, so I have to drop

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Speaker 3: the el bomb, Pete.

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Speaker 1: Did it work?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it worked, yeah, one hundred cents. So I wait

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Speaker 5: for him to move in together and unpack their suitcases

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Speaker 5: and see how they go. But there's gone head first, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And are they still over there or they back here?

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Speaker 5: Back over here? So they're just sorting out there logistics

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Speaker 5: and then let's git doing.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's just what, isn't it, Peter.

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Speaker 4: That's a bit of a bit of negativity floating around

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Speaker 4: love Peter.

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Speaker 2: But sometimes a holiday romance should simply be a holiday romance.

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Speaker 4: Put it in its place, keep it in its lane.

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Speaker 4: And they say that at the beginning, you know, this

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Speaker 4: isn't going alone.

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Speaker 2: No more than a physical.

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Speaker 1: Physical, an emotional No more.

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Speaker 2: Than just an emotional connection where you and I share

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Speaker 2: bondover like minded, entertaining stories with each other in the morning.

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Speaker 2: That's all it is, and that's all it needs to be.

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Speaker 2: It's Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast or

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Speaker 2: great shows like this, Download the Nova player, fight the

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Speaker 2: app store, or Google playing the player