WEBVTT - This is personal but necessary!

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<v Speaker 1>Apogae Production.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode of Amia Mad mum My Podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>We ask you this question, don't we in and out

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<v Speaker 1>every week? We've been asking it for such a long

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<v Speaker 1>time now.

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<v Speaker 2>When we think back to when we started the podcast,

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<v Speaker 2>kind of felt like it would have like a shelf life,

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<v Speaker 2>like it would be, I don't know, for a few

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<v Speaker 2>years while the kids were young and now they're getting older.

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<v Speaker 2>But what we've realized is that it never stops. Like

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<v Speaker 2>there's things that get better with kids and then they

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<v Speaker 2>come hand in hand with something that gets worse.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the stages and ages that you sort of go.

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<v Speaker 1>And I always said it, I was like, I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>you just get a handle on one particular stage and

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<v Speaker 1>age and then all of a sudden it shifts. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just here, bang, Okay, cool, how do I do this again?

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<v Speaker 1>And you just start like, I don't know, learning how

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<v Speaker 1>to juggle eight, you know, balls instead of three kind

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<v Speaker 1>of thing. It's just a circus. Some days it is

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<v Speaker 1>dead set like a circus.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is where and I've said this a few times.

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<v Speaker 2>I know you're probably gonna think, gee, she's really keen

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<v Speaker 2>to get this going, But this is where I go

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<v Speaker 2>then being a grandparent.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, you're.

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<v Speaker 2>Going back to those stages that you've went through and

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<v Speaker 2>he found difficult, but I feel like we'll have a

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<v Speaker 2>better understanding of how to handle them.

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<v Speaker 1>I was having this conversation with the lovely gentleman that

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<v Speaker 1>does our pool cleaning at home, and he was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>guess what, rage I'm a grandfather, and he was so

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<v Speaker 1>excited and so pumped, and I was like looked at

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<v Speaker 1>him and I was like, oh, young grandfather, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like we're having a laugh. But then he goes, it's

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<v Speaker 1>so much better. I literally get all of the good

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<v Speaker 1>times with them, and then I hand them back and

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<v Speaker 1>I say see you later, and then they go just

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<v Speaker 1>on that.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've just had this crazy realization. My kids are

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<v Speaker 2>sixteen in November. They're twenty in four years time. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I could be a grandparent.

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<v Speaker 1>No you're not. I'm going to encourage them not to

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<v Speaker 1>be letting you become. Yeah, I know.

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<v Speaker 2>So I had them at twenty five, which is young. Yep,

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<v Speaker 2>even that is why can't I do the math on that?

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<v Speaker 1>He's literally looking at and ten years, that's nine years.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like nine ten years.

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to be saying at twenty five. Yes, in

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<v Speaker 2>nine years, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Will be doesn't add thirty five?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I a bad mum for not wanting to create

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<v Speaker 1>a knock on effect? Not it's a bit of a topic.

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<v Speaker 1>We go a little bit personal here, but that's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what we do.

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<v Speaker 2>Because most of the time we forget anyone's listening. We

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<v Speaker 2>feel like it's just a safe space for us to

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<v Speaker 2>talk to each other. I mean, if we really thought

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<v Speaker 2>about it, we probably wouldn't talk about half of the

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<v Speaker 2>shit that we do.

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<v Speaker 1>No, obviously, you've got two girls. I've got two girls.

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<v Speaker 1>We are in the depths of different ages and different stages,

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<v Speaker 1>and right now there's a lot of conversation in our

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<v Speaker 1>particular household. And I'm sure you've already been through this

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<v Speaker 1>around puberty and yeah. Always over dinner, we're eating like

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<v Speaker 1>a mouthful of like what have you just like chicken schnitty,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're like, what where did that question come from?

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<v Speaker 2>And it's like, Bam, here have a question. Yeah you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't prepared for.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's what. I literally scoop some peas in my

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<v Speaker 1>mouth and Elsie said something other and I nearly sput

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<v Speaker 1>them across the table.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like, it's like you're in a full sense

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<v Speaker 2>of security, enjoying your chicken and your vegetables. Next minute,

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<v Speaker 2>my girls, have you ever smoked a cigarette ever in

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<v Speaker 2>your life?

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<v Speaker 3>He's the right answer here.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that you're like look around the table for like,

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<v Speaker 1>can I have fifty to fifty on this? Can I

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<v Speaker 1>find a friend?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you know you have a drink alcohol before you're eighteen?

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<v Speaker 3>Tough one?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Did I come back to you on that? Let

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<v Speaker 1>me just make up a story that doesn't Yeah, So,

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<v Speaker 1>going through the whole puberty and questions that are getting

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<v Speaker 1>fired around the table, left, right and center, even this,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got to bridge how I'm bringing it up. Basically,

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<v Speaker 1>what it has been is that when Elsie was about

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<v Speaker 1>three and a half, maybe nearly four, I decided, just

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<v Speaker 1>to give you some context about it, I have ever

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<v Speaker 1>really had large breasts in my whole entire life. I

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<v Speaker 1>was totally okay with it. Proceed further, have two children breastfeed,

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<v Speaker 1>and then once the second child finishes breastfeeding, my boobs

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<v Speaker 1>were like tenfold worse. And now this doesn't make it okay,

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<v Speaker 1>but this is just a personal preference. It's what I decided.

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<v Speaker 1>But basically, it was like whatever I had left of

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<v Speaker 1>boobs literally like went inwood and sunk into my chest

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<v Speaker 1>rather than having sort of anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they like disappeared, just just but not even disappeared

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<v Speaker 2>like worse some people like when I look at mine,

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<v Speaker 2>like I breastfeed the girls, I think I did about

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<v Speaker 2>five or six months.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's all I did, too, look.

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<v Speaker 2>Down at mine like a couple of spaniels ears.

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<v Speaker 1>Mine didn't even get to become like puppy ears. It

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<v Speaker 1>was like they almost went back into my chest. It

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<v Speaker 1>was so odd. But what had happened was we were

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<v Speaker 1>on the beach one day and I'm playing with the

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<v Speaker 1>kids because they were only little, and I looked down

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<v Speaker 1>and my swimmer's top you could see straight through it

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<v Speaker 1>top to bottom, like I'm talking gap, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>down playing and digging with the kids, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>like so self conscious. So proceed forward to like Elsie

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<v Speaker 1>being three and a half, and I decided to take

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<v Speaker 1>myself in not telling anyone, tell anyone, told no one,

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<v Speaker 1>no one, not even my husband, And I took myself

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<v Speaker 1>in for an appointment to look at what you could

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<v Speaker 1>do for breast implants, and was just like I think

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do it now. I researched for about

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<v Speaker 1>three months before it, found the person that I felt

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable with, then looked into it and I literally just

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<v Speaker 1>wanted the smallest implant that they physically had, just so

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<v Speaker 1>I could feel a little bit feminine. Right, Yeah, that

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<v Speaker 1>was my intent. And in the process you've got to

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<v Speaker 1>try all of the sizes on like it was so funny,

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<v Speaker 1>but at the same time, absolutely still just wanted something

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<v Speaker 1>that just made me feel fair feminine, and that was

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<v Speaker 1>why I got them. Right now, fast forward, as we know,

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<v Speaker 1>as a parent, you always shower with your children because

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<v Speaker 1>they don't let you have any other option. So I've

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<v Speaker 1>managed to and you know, because of the surgeon that

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<v Speaker 1>I had, I have no scars. He did an amazing job,

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<v Speaker 1>like it's a science. It blows my mind how much

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<v Speaker 1>it's a science, but just an amazing job. Feel feminine

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely what I wanted. But the whole thing was I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have scars, so I didn't have to explain anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I just ask a question here, because you didn't

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<v Speaker 2>tell anyone you were going for the initiative? Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>did you tell anyone when you were going actually into surgery?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>Because really hard to Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, there was no way, what was the Your.

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<v Speaker 3>Husband be like, what's happened to you?

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<v Speaker 1>Sam? No? No, So once I decided, and then I

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<v Speaker 1>was happy with the size, and then I finally committed

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<v Speaker 1>to the date. It kind of happened really quickly because

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to cancelation. But Sam literally dropped

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<v Speaker 1>me off for surgery on the way to a game

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<v Speaker 1>so that he had a home game. They were playing

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<v Speaker 1>football and it was in Brisbane, and he dropped me

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<v Speaker 1>off on the way. Yeah, oh yeah, enjoy surgery.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So there I am getting out of the car, going

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<v Speaker 1>good luck O the game. I hope you win. But

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<v Speaker 1>at the same time I'm going in. And long story

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<v Speaker 1>short is I didn't have to explain myself to the

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<v Speaker 1>kids because they were not of age to understand, and

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<v Speaker 1>Mum was just not well and you know whatever, So

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<v Speaker 1>we just left it at that. And then as the

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<v Speaker 1>progression went, I never explained myself because I didn't have

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<v Speaker 1>to because I'd never asked it. They'd never seen the scars,

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<v Speaker 1>they never were even like, they just thought they were

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<v Speaker 1>my boobs. Now, fast forward and then Nanadee comes into

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<v Speaker 1>the plans for some reason, something's come up and my

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<v Speaker 1>mum has thrown me under. Look, there's no hard feelings, nanady,

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<v Speaker 1>but she's thrown me under the bus and says something

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<v Speaker 1>about will your mum's had her boobs done? And that's

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<v Speaker 1>how my kids found out.

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<v Speaker 3>Did she tell you she was gonna say that.

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<v Speaker 1>No, she's had a brain explosion. And so then I

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<v Speaker 1>have two children coming up me going you've had your boobster?

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<v Speaker 1>What does that mean? Where? Show me? And I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>this is not how I ever saw it happening.

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<v Speaker 2>It's really interesting that you bring this up, because it's

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<v Speaker 2>hard with girls. I feel like, because we're all about

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<v Speaker 2>love your body, you know this is the only one

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<v Speaker 2>you've got given blah blah blah. I've had an issue

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<v Speaker 2>with my nose forever. Actually, when I say forever, it

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<v Speaker 2>was someone that brought it to my attention, which I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like all our insecurities come from someone at some

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<v Speaker 2>point saying that's not right or this could be better. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you feel shit about yourself for the rest

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<v Speaker 2>of your life. She just remember what they said. And

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<v Speaker 2>so I've had that for like a long time. But

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<v Speaker 2>I got to the stage where I was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>can't do anything about it because my kids have got

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<v Speaker 2>this same knows and if I'm showing them that I

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<v Speaker 2>have to fix mine, am I saying to them they

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<v Speaker 2>have to fix theirs.

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<v Speaker 3>I've spoken to people who have had completely.

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<v Speaker 2>Different views on that, the view of, yeah, you're showing

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<v Speaker 2>them that there's something wrong. You should be happy with

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<v Speaker 2>your body and you know this is what you've been

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<v Speaker 2>given and be confident and all the.

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<v Speaker 3>Rest of it and love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>And then there's the other side where I've definitely had

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<v Speaker 2>people go, you're showing that you can do something about it,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, you're brave and all that kind.

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<v Speaker 3>Of stuff as well. So it's really interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>I think we're interesting. Yeah, and we're in a society

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<v Speaker 1>now that with girls especially and young boys, but young girls,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, with social media and the online presence of

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<v Speaker 1>so many like influencers and all the rest, that it's

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<v Speaker 1>not reality, but they have that influence there constantly in

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<v Speaker 1>front of them, this like body disillusion of like what

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<v Speaker 1>the perfect body would be. Now, no body is perfect,

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<v Speaker 1>as in physically bodies.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody is perfect, but what you're seeing on social media,

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<v Speaker 2>you are seeing the people that are perfect, and so

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<v Speaker 2>in terms of like getting a nose shob for example.

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<v Speaker 2>And don't get me wrong, I don't have enough money

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<v Speaker 2>for a nose job. And I'm also shit scared of

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<v Speaker 2>being put to sleep and I had a Colonoscopy're not

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<v Speaker 2>going down that. I had my wisdom tooth take it

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<v Speaker 2>out whilst I was awake, because that's so scared I am.

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<v Speaker 3>Because of that.

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<v Speaker 2>Nurse that time that was explaining the drugs I used

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<v Speaker 2>for a colonoscopy, and she went, let me write them

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<v Speaker 2>down for you and you can do your own research.

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<v Speaker 3>And she went, what's it called? What's it called? What's

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<v Speaker 3>it called? The one that Michael Jackson died of? And

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, I don't want it. I don't want

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<v Speaker 3>you don't want to stay awake.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that was the worst thing that she could

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<v Speaker 1>have ever said to you, because, oh my gosh, you're

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<v Speaker 1>the funniest when it comes to going under anesthetic. Because

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, there's no way I want to be

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<v Speaker 1>awake for a Colonoscoby, hook me up, let's go.

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<v Speaker 2>But then I'm like, when you're asleep, you're out of control.

0:11:55.681 --> 0:11:57.561
<v Speaker 2>Like that's the thing for me. When you're put to sleep,

0:11:57.561 --> 0:11:59.481
<v Speaker 2>you're completely out of control.

0:12:00.001 --> 0:12:03.561
<v Speaker 1>I know what happens once you go under. I always

0:12:03.641 --> 0:12:06.321
<v Speaker 1>have that question, always have that question of that.

0:12:06.841 --> 0:12:07.641
<v Speaker 3>Did you ever see that?

0:12:07.681 --> 0:12:11.841
<v Speaker 2>There was a sixty minutes episode that followed this doctor

0:12:12.041 --> 0:12:15.921
<v Speaker 2>he's a cosmetic said yes, and he was like filming

0:12:16.001 --> 0:12:19.201
<v Speaker 2>TikTok videos while his were asleep, and some of the

0:12:19.241 --> 0:12:20.321
<v Speaker 2>stuff he was doing to.

0:12:20.281 --> 0:12:25.121
<v Speaker 1>The horrible horrible. I would hope that my judgment, like

0:12:25.161 --> 0:12:28.201
<v Speaker 1>of character, would be that I picked the one, hopefully,

0:12:28.841 --> 0:12:30.881
<v Speaker 1>But going back to what we were doing about, which

0:12:30.921 --> 0:12:33.281
<v Speaker 1>is they already have this influence and I don't want

0:12:33.281 --> 0:12:34.961
<v Speaker 1>to create the knock on effect. I had to very

0:12:35.001 --> 0:12:39.001
<v Speaker 1>much explain myself over a good old nightly dinner about

0:12:39.041 --> 0:12:40.881
<v Speaker 1>why I chose to get my boobs and what it

0:12:40.921 --> 0:12:43.321
<v Speaker 1>meant to me and like that whole like, but you

0:12:43.361 --> 0:12:46.321
<v Speaker 1>don't have to do it, Not everyone has to do it.

0:12:46.401 --> 0:12:49.081
<v Speaker 1>But this is why I chose to form my body.

0:12:49.881 --> 0:12:52.561
<v Speaker 1>You're not got my body. You've got a different body

0:12:52.561 --> 0:12:54.681
<v Speaker 1>to me, You've got a different makeup. Elsie looks at

0:12:54.681 --> 0:12:56.081
<v Speaker 1>me and goes, maum, I think I'm going to be

0:12:56.241 --> 0:12:57.881
<v Speaker 1>like you. I was like, what do you mean? And

0:12:57.921 --> 0:12:59.521
<v Speaker 1>she was like, well, I think I just will have

0:12:59.601 --> 0:13:03.241
<v Speaker 1>no boobs pretty much for my whole entire life until

0:13:03.241 --> 0:13:07.081
<v Speaker 1>I go and get mine done. I was like, no, no, no, no.

0:13:07.321 --> 0:13:10.601
<v Speaker 1>I was like, your boobs might just grow later mine

0:13:10.961 --> 0:13:14.681
<v Speaker 1>because she's really grow, but yours may you grow and

0:13:14.721 --> 0:13:16.641
<v Speaker 1>then you've got Gracie on the other hand, where I

0:13:16.721 --> 0:13:19.721
<v Speaker 1>look and go, I swear to God, the genetics have

0:13:19.921 --> 0:13:24.401
<v Speaker 1>like skipped me. So my mom it skipped me and

0:13:24.481 --> 0:13:27.561
<v Speaker 1>went to Gracie because like, I think, poor Gracie is

0:13:27.561 --> 0:13:31.121
<v Speaker 1>going to have Nanade's problem. I'm telling you. I took

0:13:31.161 --> 0:13:34.761
<v Speaker 1>my mom with me to that sizing appointment because that's

0:13:34.801 --> 0:13:36.121
<v Speaker 1>how I broke the news to her that I was

0:13:36.161 --> 0:13:37.521
<v Speaker 1>going to get my booms out. I was like, come

0:13:37.561 --> 0:13:40.281
<v Speaker 1>to an appointment with me. The surgeon sat there and

0:13:40.441 --> 0:13:42.801
<v Speaker 1>looked at my mom and goes, oh, wow, must have

0:13:42.841 --> 0:13:47.721
<v Speaker 1>skipped a generation. What you're sitting here judging me? Well,

0:13:47.801 --> 0:13:49.881
<v Speaker 1>you look at my mom and he was like, it's impressive,

0:13:50.121 --> 0:13:51.441
<v Speaker 1>Like stop talking.

0:13:51.841 --> 0:13:54.481
<v Speaker 2>How about we forget about the implants and we just

0:13:54.521 --> 0:13:55.801
<v Speaker 2>share out some of yours.

0:13:58.441 --> 0:14:00.921
<v Speaker 1>That was one of the most awkward appointments ever been.

0:14:01.081 --> 0:14:03.921
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm sitting here with like no top on.

0:14:04.081 --> 0:14:06.801
<v Speaker 1>My Mom's sitting there like we're all in a room together,

0:14:06.961 --> 0:14:09.001
<v Speaker 1>and you're saying, oh, well, to shame, you know, you

0:14:09.041 --> 0:14:10.761
<v Speaker 1>just missed out on what your mum's got what.

0:14:11.841 --> 0:14:14.001
<v Speaker 2>I had a friend back in the day, I remember,

0:14:14.321 --> 0:14:17.121
<v Speaker 2>and she was calling up about a boob job, and

0:14:17.161 --> 0:14:20.001
<v Speaker 2>I remember she didn't quite have enough money for it,

0:14:20.321 --> 0:14:24.321
<v Speaker 2>and she asked the question, could I come in and

0:14:24.321 --> 0:14:28.161
<v Speaker 2>get one done.

0:14:27.881 --> 0:14:29.681
<v Speaker 3>Save up for a while, and.

0:14:29.681 --> 0:14:30.481
<v Speaker 1>Then do the other.

0:14:32.961 --> 0:14:35.001
<v Speaker 3>I remember thinking, are you crazy?

0:14:35.121 --> 0:14:37.721
<v Speaker 1>Could you imagine walking around a whole lotside?

0:14:37.721 --> 0:14:39.801
<v Speaker 3>Why do you find a bra for that situation?

0:14:42.041 --> 0:14:44.481
<v Speaker 2>Think yourself, lucky you've had to explain your situation to

0:14:44.521 --> 0:14:46.481
<v Speaker 2>your kids. Imagine having to explain hers.