1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi 2 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:16,921 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment. 3 00:00:16,521 --> 00:00:19,201 Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 4 00:00:19,281 --> 00:00:20,841 Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:21,041 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 3: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,401 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 3: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,321 --> 00:00:27,881 Speaker 3: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,481 --> 00:00:31,201 Speaker 1: Get ready for your next level of self. 9 00:00:32,201 --> 00:00:34,521 Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to another episode She Rises with 10 00:00:34,561 --> 00:00:35,361 Speaker 2: Ashi and Tiana. 11 00:00:35,521 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: Who Hell, Welcome back. 12 00:00:37,561 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of your favorite hosts. And 13 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,521 Speaker 2: today's episode is all about behaviors that we have learned 14 00:00:43,601 --> 00:00:47,001 Speaker 2: over the years through parents, through ways of being, through 15 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,561 Speaker 2: things that we've witnessed as a young child, and ways 16 00:00:49,561 --> 00:00:52,241 Speaker 2: that we're going to and are still now learning how 17 00:00:52,241 --> 00:00:55,361 Speaker 2: to reparent ourselves through those behaviors that we've learned. So 18 00:00:55,481 --> 00:00:58,961 Speaker 2: things that are super unproductive, things that you know aren't 19 00:00:58,961 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 2: good for us, aren't good for our health, aren't good 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,801 Speaker 2: for our mental health, and all of the things. But 21 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,521 Speaker 2: before we get into it, as she wants her share 22 00:01:04,561 --> 00:01:06,161 Speaker 2: of the week, My Share of the Week is a 23 00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: brand new hideaway perfume. We have over sixty perfumes on 24 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,081 Speaker 2: our website now. So I smell a lot of perfumes, 25 00:01:12,601 --> 00:01:14,241 Speaker 2: and I don't love all of them. 26 00:01:14,481 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: Even in the staff. 27 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,881 Speaker 3: We'll like smell them in testamon, get new ones made, 28 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,241 Speaker 3: and everyone's got different opinions. It's very personalized. So if 29 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,321 Speaker 3: I share a perfume no that I really really. 30 00:01:23,121 --> 00:01:24,401 Speaker 1: Love it, that's your thing. 31 00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:28,561 Speaker 3: This one is called Fairy Tears and it is inspired 32 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:32,681 Speaker 3: by Floral Street Wonderland PIONI. But every time I spray 33 00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:34,001 Speaker 3: I sprayed in front of you, I spray it in 34 00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:36,601 Speaker 3: front of India the other day. We all think it 35 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,121 Speaker 3: smells like an old celebrity perfume. I don't know if 36 00:01:39,161 --> 00:01:41,241 Speaker 3: it's pretty spears or like a hi very duff. 37 00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:43,401 Speaker 1: One something like that. I can't even describe it. 38 00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:45,241 Speaker 2: I don't know what it smells like, but it is 39 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,801 Speaker 2: a nostalogic smell, like something that you have smelt before 40 00:01:48,841 --> 00:01:51,481 Speaker 2: that has come from your childhood, like around the teens years. 41 00:01:51,721 --> 00:01:54,001 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm in a Vanilla Delight Girl for so long, 42 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,881 Speaker 3: which is inspired by the Kali Vanilla twenty eight. That's 43 00:01:56,921 --> 00:01:59,201 Speaker 3: been my go to perfume, and I love like a 44 00:01:59,201 --> 00:02:01,921 Speaker 3: handful of pedal Dreams, which is every for her dream 45 00:02:01,961 --> 00:02:02,481 Speaker 3: is really good. 46 00:02:02,681 --> 00:02:05,601 Speaker 1: This one now is in my top three. Ohow so 47 00:02:05,761 --> 00:02:07,721 Speaker 1: bag now, I love it. That's my share of the week. 48 00:02:07,721 --> 00:02:08,521 Speaker 1: It's just on Hideaway. 49 00:02:09,961 --> 00:02:12,521 Speaker 2: My share of the week is actually something a little random. 50 00:02:12,561 --> 00:02:13,881 Speaker 2: So it's something that I get when I go to 51 00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:16,481 Speaker 2: the nail shop to get my nails done. So I 52 00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:18,761 Speaker 2: don't use a crylic, but I do get something called 53 00:02:18,761 --> 00:02:21,721 Speaker 2: build a gel. Basically, it's like your real nail, but 54 00:02:21,721 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 2: then they put this stuff on that like helps strengthen 55 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,441 Speaker 2: your nail. And I was really struggling with my nails 56 00:02:25,441 --> 00:02:28,361 Speaker 2: snapping a little while ago. I started to get the 57 00:02:28,361 --> 00:02:30,881 Speaker 2: build of gel, and now my nails are really strong, 58 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 2: never snap, and they kind of almost look like a crylic, 59 00:02:33,401 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 2: but it's not. 60 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:34,561 Speaker 1: They do crilic. 61 00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:36,081 Speaker 2: I actually look like a crilic. They look like a 62 00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:37,721 Speaker 2: cryllic right now because they're really grown out. 63 00:02:38,361 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: They done a really good job. 64 00:02:39,481 --> 00:02:41,241 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it just looks really nice, and it's like 65 00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:44,041 Speaker 2: that step down from getting a crylic. I obviously don't 66 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:45,561 Speaker 2: know if it's very good for you or anything like that. 67 00:02:45,561 --> 00:02:47,641 Speaker 2: I haven't looked that far into it, but I'm really 68 00:02:47,721 --> 00:02:49,321 Speaker 2: liking having it because then I don't have to worry 69 00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:52,401 Speaker 2: about my nails snapping all the time, and that's like, yeah, 70 00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:54,001 Speaker 2: everything for me, so's so good. 71 00:02:55,281 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: All right. 72 00:02:56,601 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 3: Behaviors we've learned from our parents. Firstly, Mom, we love you, 73 00:03:00,401 --> 00:03:01,001 Speaker 3: your dad. 74 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:06,001 Speaker 1: Mom, Dad, thank you for choosing me to be your daughter. Speech. 75 00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:09,401 Speaker 3: But I think even like there's gonna be learned behaviors 76 00:03:09,401 --> 00:03:11,041 Speaker 3: that my kids learned that I might not be so 77 00:03:11,081 --> 00:03:12,561 Speaker 3: proud of or I wish I did better. This is 78 00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:14,201 Speaker 3: not to blame parents. It's not fing to go to 79 00:03:14,201 --> 00:03:15,641 Speaker 3: your parents and like you told. 80 00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 2: Me this and I'm fucked up because no, I learned 81 00:03:17,881 --> 00:03:19,601 Speaker 2: this from you. We're not doing that. We're not doing 82 00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:21,361 Speaker 2: We're not shaman, we're not naming and shaman. 83 00:03:21,561 --> 00:03:23,121 Speaker 1: No, we're taking full responsibility. 84 00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:25,081 Speaker 3: It's just cool to have awareness over things that have 85 00:03:25,201 --> 00:03:27,641 Speaker 3: been passed down that our parents have done or that've 86 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,721 Speaker 3: said to us, that have made us behave in a 87 00:03:29,761 --> 00:03:30,321 Speaker 3: certain way. 88 00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and it gives us awareness on where it came 89 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,361 Speaker 2: from and what we can then do about it to 90 00:03:35,601 --> 00:03:36,441 Speaker 2: change that behavior. 91 00:03:36,721 --> 00:03:38,641 Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, So what's your first one? 92 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:41,481 Speaker 2: First one would be coming from Mum would be to 93 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:46,681 Speaker 2: love you, but emotionally shut down. So in conflict, hard conversations, 94 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,961 Speaker 2: her kind of response is to either shut down or flat. 95 00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:54,961 Speaker 2: So yeah, basically go really not cold, but like obviously 96 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,241 Speaker 2: she's not fully at present there. And that's something that 97 00:03:57,281 --> 00:04:00,601 Speaker 2: I in my early years and leading up until about 98 00:04:00,601 --> 00:04:02,881 Speaker 2: probably like my twenties, I really learned how to do. 99 00:04:03,281 --> 00:04:06,001 Speaker 2: I really struggled with conflict, really strus good with having 100 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 2: hard conversations. I wanted to run away because I felt 101 00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:10,481 Speaker 2: too uncomfortable. So that's something that I had picked. 102 00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:10,721 Speaker 1: Up from her. 103 00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,881 Speaker 3: I just realized my parents is exactly the same thing. 104 00:04:13,081 --> 00:04:16,321 Speaker 3: There you go, yeah, fight so yell yeah a lot, or. 105 00:04:16,241 --> 00:04:19,121 Speaker 1: The completely silent treatment. Yes, silent treatment like starmalling a 106 00:04:19,121 --> 00:04:19,921 Speaker 1: little bit like. 107 00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:22,361 Speaker 3: And like go in separate rooms and then just not 108 00:04:22,401 --> 00:04:24,441 Speaker 3: talk for a few days and then under rag and 109 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,801 Speaker 3: carry on and then move on, no repair, no talking 110 00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:29,841 Speaker 3: about it. Same And I know when I get really uncomfortable, 111 00:04:29,841 --> 00:04:31,081 Speaker 3: I want to go for a car ride, like want 112 00:04:31,081 --> 00:04:32,521 Speaker 3: to drive and just like get away. I want to 113 00:04:32,601 --> 00:04:34,601 Speaker 3: run when it gets really icky, and then I want 114 00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:36,601 Speaker 3: to avoid for a few days to calm down and regulate. 115 00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:40,481 Speaker 1: That's so interesting, yup, I do that shit. 116 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 3: I just realized that when you're saying that cool, hey, yeah, interesting, 117 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:45,041 Speaker 3: cool to see. 118 00:04:45,121 --> 00:04:47,681 Speaker 2: I definitely feel like, I'm not perfect at this by 119 00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:49,921 Speaker 2: any means. I feel like I'm much better at communication 120 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,601 Speaker 2: now because I used to do that. I used to 121 00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:54,921 Speaker 2: avoid and if you've listened to my friendship breakdown relationship 122 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 2: of the whole group in the coaching industry, I talk 123 00:04:57,121 --> 00:05:01,921 Speaker 2: about exactly this, this behavior of avoiding, avoiding, avoiding, creating 124 00:05:01,961 --> 00:05:05,281 Speaker 2: problems and losing people. So yeah, this is why I've 125 00:05:05,281 --> 00:05:07,161 Speaker 2: tried not to do it now. But again, I'm not perfect, 126 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:10,041 Speaker 2: so human have human moments all the time. Yeah, and 127 00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:11,201 Speaker 2: it still shows up for me now. 128 00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 3: So so the way that I'm trying to redo it now, 129 00:05:14,761 --> 00:05:17,841 Speaker 3: I've just had awareness around how I'm trying to bridge 130 00:05:17,841 --> 00:05:20,720 Speaker 3: that is I still sometimes feel like I need space, 131 00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:22,761 Speaker 3: but not as much of like not speaking for a 132 00:05:22,761 --> 00:05:23,241 Speaker 3: few days. 133 00:05:23,361 --> 00:05:23,561 Speaker 1: Yes. 134 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 3: Is it started my relationship with Steve where we would 135 00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 3: do that all the time if we had a fight, 136 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 3: but it would go like a week, we'd just like 137 00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:31,601 Speaker 3: be awkward and uncomfortable and icky and then just sleep 138 00:05:31,721 --> 00:05:34,041 Speaker 3: under the rugs and not talk about it. Yeah, Whereas 139 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,641 Speaker 3: now I might need a couple of hours like just 140 00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,921 Speaker 3: reregulate and go out nature and just have my own time. 141 00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:40,121 Speaker 3: Then I want to come back and have a better conversation. 142 00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:42,561 Speaker 1: Yeah beautiful, Yeah, beautiful, that's cool. 143 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,321 Speaker 2: I think I kind of like to read the room 144 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 2: when it comes to things like this, Like if it's 145 00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:49,161 Speaker 2: really late at night, I'll be like, Okay, you know, 146 00:05:49,201 --> 00:05:51,401 Speaker 2: maybe this can wait till the morning, definitely, Or if 147 00:05:51,401 --> 00:05:53,201 Speaker 2: we're out in public, I'll be like, Okay, let's wait 148 00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:54,681 Speaker 2: till we're in a better place where we can like 149 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,321 Speaker 2: talk about this and priv and actually get into this conversation. 150 00:05:57,361 --> 00:05:58,801 Speaker 1: So I think I like to read the room. 151 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:02,361 Speaker 2: But I think as much as I hate the discomfort, 152 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,361 Speaker 2: I feel like I tried to lean in straight away 153 00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:06,001 Speaker 2: to just be like, OK, if we can squash it 154 00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:07,921 Speaker 2: here and we have the ability to do so, I'd 155 00:06:07,961 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 2: like to squash it now. But also if we can't, 156 00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 2: I can also hold it to yeah. 157 00:06:11,801 --> 00:06:13,361 Speaker 3: Because it's like, you know that old saying never go 158 00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:15,161 Speaker 3: to a bit angry. I'm like, I don't agree with that. 159 00:06:15,201 --> 00:06:16,641 Speaker 3: It's like, not that you want to go a bit angry, 160 00:06:16,721 --> 00:06:19,121 Speaker 3: but sometimes people need space to process totally so they 161 00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:23,081 Speaker 3: can actually show up and respond instead of reacting, because 162 00:06:23,081 --> 00:06:25,041 Speaker 3: sometimes in the moment, if they're just regulated, they're going 163 00:06:25,081 --> 00:06:27,241 Speaker 3: to react or say things that don't mean or not 164 00:06:27,281 --> 00:06:29,681 Speaker 3: actually be able to communicate what they're feeling. Yeah, so 165 00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:31,921 Speaker 3: it's actually okay to sleep on something and come back. 166 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: Calmer in the morning. Absolutely. Yeah. My dad always taught 167 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 1: me to sleep on it. It's a good advibe. Whatever 168 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,201 Speaker 1: it was, whatever relationship work, anything that I was dealing with, 169 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: be decision. Yeah, just sleep on it. That's cool. Yeah. 170 00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: I love your dad. I know he's the best. He's great. 171 00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:50,561 Speaker 1: Speaking of dad, no, I was going to say one 172 00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:54,041 Speaker 1: from him. Oh, yes, go please. Yeah, I didn't have 173 00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: a dad. Some good any I've learned from my stepdad. 174 00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:03,601 Speaker 1: Let's come just roasting ourself, just like, couldn't it. 175 00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:06,481 Speaker 3: I'm a Sagittarius. Of course, I turned fucked up things 176 00:07:06,481 --> 00:07:07,401 Speaker 3: into humorous things. 177 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,121 Speaker 1: It's true. It's true. 178 00:07:10,361 --> 00:07:14,641 Speaker 2: Okay, people pleasing, so he will do anything for anyone. 179 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:18,201 Speaker 2: But I really have and Dad's really good at conflict resolution, 180 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,121 Speaker 2: but also to the point where I think it could 181 00:07:20,161 --> 00:07:22,681 Speaker 2: be sometimes overcompensating a little bit. 182 00:07:22,681 --> 00:07:24,161 Speaker 1: So it falls a little bit too people pleasing. 183 00:07:24,161 --> 00:07:27,001 Speaker 2: And I definitely have noticed that like that people pleasing nature, 184 00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:30,041 Speaker 2: or maybe like fawning nature, where it's like wanting to 185 00:07:30,081 --> 00:07:32,201 Speaker 2: get rid of the conflict so much that it's overly 186 00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:33,401 Speaker 2: into the faun response. 187 00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:36,521 Speaker 1: And so I've noticed that I've done that over the years. 188 00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:38,521 Speaker 2: I still do it now where I can really find 189 00:07:38,561 --> 00:07:40,441 Speaker 2: that anxiousness part of me come in, where I really 190 00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:43,801 Speaker 2: want to people please to make the other person feel comfortable, 191 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,481 Speaker 2: even if it means me not being fully comfortable. 192 00:07:46,921 --> 00:07:48,401 Speaker 1: Yes, I've definitely cleaned that up. 193 00:07:48,281 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 2: A lot in the last year especially, but it definitely 194 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,481 Speaker 2: shows up for me, Like when I'm super triggered or 195 00:07:52,481 --> 00:07:54,881 Speaker 2: super anxious, I know that that can come out for me, 196 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,241 Speaker 2: you know, But it comes from a place of love, 197 00:07:57,281 --> 00:07:59,441 Speaker 2: of course it does. But then also it's like, oh, 198 00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:01,561 Speaker 2: I don't really want to like get into a habit 199 00:08:01,641 --> 00:08:03,881 Speaker 2: of self abandoning myself in a moment to make everybody 200 00:08:03,881 --> 00:08:04,441 Speaker 2: else happy. 201 00:08:05,161 --> 00:08:07,121 Speaker 3: Thing, Like we're talking about things that we have learned 202 00:08:07,161 --> 00:08:09,601 Speaker 3: from our parents from our childhood that we're trying to 203 00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:12,361 Speaker 3: reparent ourselves in our So like it's great that you've 204 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,921 Speaker 3: said that it still comes up for you, because like 205 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,321 Speaker 3: we're still in this with all of you. Everyone's got 206 00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,321 Speaker 3: this stuff that they need to reparent and actually work 207 00:08:18,361 --> 00:08:19,121 Speaker 3: on one per. 208 00:08:19,361 --> 00:08:21,041 Speaker 2: And like you can work on stuff all you want, 209 00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:23,081 Speaker 2: and you might be good to a certain degree, but 210 00:08:23,081 --> 00:08:27,041 Speaker 2: there might be one person or one relationship where you 211 00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:30,081 Speaker 2: actively get triggered and triggered within that response, whereas every 212 00:08:30,081 --> 00:08:32,041 Speaker 2: other area of your life you're sweet, you know. So 213 00:08:32,081 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 2: it's like it's forever work and if you have it 214 00:08:34,001 --> 00:08:35,921 Speaker 2: come up for you before, you're probably gonna have it 215 00:08:35,961 --> 00:08:37,921 Speaker 2: come up for you again. Yeah, Like, just because you 216 00:08:37,961 --> 00:08:40,161 Speaker 2: do the work doesn't mean you're exempt from being triggered, 217 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:43,441 Speaker 2: you're exempt from the wound coming up again, because sometimes 218 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,401 Speaker 2: like old wounds come up in different ways. You know, 219 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,801 Speaker 2: you might see it in a different way and go, 220 00:08:48,841 --> 00:08:51,201 Speaker 2: oh my god, wow showed up in this, or you 221 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:53,241 Speaker 2: have a new relationship and they trigger that wound in 222 00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:55,481 Speaker 2: a different way than you've ever been triggered before. 223 00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:59,041 Speaker 1: You know, I didn't know that was there. Yeah. 224 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,761 Speaker 3: So one that I got from I think both Mum 225 00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:06,121 Speaker 3: and dad, even like my grandparents was just like minis emotions. 226 00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:08,041 Speaker 3: I just remember being at family events or at in 227 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,601 Speaker 3: public and like don't be used since like be quiet, 228 00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:13,681 Speaker 3: like don't make a fuss. So just even being loud 229 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,881 Speaker 3: and being a kid was I felt like a burden. 230 00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:18,521 Speaker 3: But voicing something or like if I didn't like the 231 00:09:18,561 --> 00:09:21,961 Speaker 3: dinner or it was cold, like never to complain. Yeah, 232 00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:24,521 Speaker 3: don't be a burden. Just sit down and be quiet 233 00:09:24,561 --> 00:09:27,481 Speaker 3: and be a good girl. So, like growing up and 234 00:09:27,521 --> 00:09:30,401 Speaker 3: like learning how to use my voice, I think I'm 235 00:09:30,401 --> 00:09:32,041 Speaker 3: pretty good at it now. 236 00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:36,241 Speaker 1: I was just about to ask you, like, does it 237 00:09:36,281 --> 00:09:37,001 Speaker 1: still show up for it? 238 00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:40,201 Speaker 3: I think it would in some scenarios, but I've been 239 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:42,761 Speaker 3: super aware of this for a very long time. And 240 00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:44,801 Speaker 3: I think also because I was out of home when 241 00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:47,241 Speaker 3: I was sixteen, I really had to use my voice. 242 00:09:47,481 --> 00:09:49,161 Speaker 3: I had to like stand up for myself when I 243 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,201 Speaker 3: had to take care of myself. So I think I'm 244 00:09:51,201 --> 00:09:53,401 Speaker 3: pretty good at it for the most part. But I 245 00:09:53,441 --> 00:09:56,281 Speaker 3: do remember, and it is moments like we're talking about 246 00:09:56,281 --> 00:09:58,001 Speaker 3: at restaurants. Now there's a hair in my food or 247 00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:00,401 Speaker 3: something like that moment comes up for me to not 248 00:10:00,481 --> 00:10:03,201 Speaker 3: say anything, and I'm also like, no, I've bought this food. 249 00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,921 Speaker 3: I can say it respectfully and can't and just ask 250 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,521 Speaker 3: for it to be replaced. Yeah, but it still comes 251 00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,641 Speaker 3: up for me to not do it. It's my initial response, 252 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:13,201 Speaker 3: but I'm pretty quick to catch the thought and squish 253 00:10:13,241 --> 00:10:15,041 Speaker 3: that away. No, you're allowed to have a voice. That's 254 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:19,121 Speaker 3: your opinion matters. You know your opinion for saying what 255 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,521 Speaker 3: you want and asking for what you want. 256 00:10:20,641 --> 00:10:21,041 Speaker 1: For sure. 257 00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:23,361 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if you feel come to me 258 00:10:23,401 --> 00:10:25,761 Speaker 2: and bring this up. I feel like you had a 259 00:10:25,801 --> 00:10:26,961 Speaker 2: moment like that the other week. 260 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:30,401 Speaker 1: Oh god, we go what was it? Yeah? About our 261 00:10:30,481 --> 00:10:32,081 Speaker 1: work trip? Go I going on? 262 00:10:32,761 --> 00:10:35,241 Speaker 3: Oh yes, where I started to freak out that I 263 00:10:35,321 --> 00:10:36,121 Speaker 3: was like a burden to you. 264 00:10:36,281 --> 00:10:38,761 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I did too. So I was. 265 00:10:38,761 --> 00:10:42,801 Speaker 3: Booking the accommodation and the flights and all the things 266 00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:46,241 Speaker 3: for my upper left surgery, and Tiana is coming down 267 00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:48,441 Speaker 3: to nurse me take care of me, and we're going 268 00:10:48,441 --> 00:10:50,921 Speaker 3: down for a week because I get the surgery and 269 00:10:50,961 --> 00:10:53,001 Speaker 3: then I have to wait there untill I get my 270 00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:54,801 Speaker 3: stitches out, which is like day five or six. Laters, 271 00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,161 Speaker 3: I'm staying now there the whole week when you do 272 00:10:56,161 --> 00:10:58,641 Speaker 3: surprize and stuff and just hang out and Steve will 273 00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:00,721 Speaker 3: stay home with the kids. But yeah, I had a 274 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:02,641 Speaker 3: moment where I just like, yeah, I did. I had 275 00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:05,361 Speaker 3: a freak out. I was like, oh my gosh, I 276 00:11:05,521 --> 00:11:08,721 Speaker 3: just feel bad and like really worried about like the accommodation. 277 00:11:08,841 --> 00:11:11,201 Speaker 3: I'm seeing her all these airbnbs and I'm looking at 278 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:12,801 Speaker 3: them and they're super expensive. I'm like, oh my gosh, 279 00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:14,041 Speaker 3: I don't want her to be in an airbnbe she 280 00:11:14,081 --> 00:11:16,721 Speaker 3: doesn't like and what if it's not near a gym 281 00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:18,361 Speaker 3: or like you can't go for a nice walk. 282 00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:19,681 Speaker 1: And I just started getting in my. 283 00:11:19,681 --> 00:11:22,561 Speaker 3: Head thinking about everything. Hey, oh my gosh. I felt 284 00:11:22,601 --> 00:11:23,641 Speaker 3: like a massive burden. 285 00:11:23,761 --> 00:11:26,201 Speaker 1: I know. I was like, oh babe. I was like, 286 00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:27,681 Speaker 1: are you feeling okay? 287 00:11:28,161 --> 00:11:28,441 Speaker 3: Dude? 288 00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:31,321 Speaker 1: I like you're okay. I'm like you're okay. Yeah, I'm 289 00:11:31,321 --> 00:11:31,841 Speaker 1: like you're like. 290 00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:38,481 Speaker 3: I'm fine, as I was not fine, No, you were. 291 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,641 Speaker 2: I just I think it was just more and more 292 00:11:40,641 --> 00:11:42,281 Speaker 2: of an anxious day or more of a heavy win. 293 00:11:42,881 --> 00:11:45,721 Speaker 2: It was I've been holding a lot, yes, other people 294 00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:49,241 Speaker 2: in my life and everything. Yeah, everything, there's been a 295 00:11:49,281 --> 00:11:51,721 Speaker 2: lot happening, that's right. So I think there was just 296 00:11:51,761 --> 00:11:53,441 Speaker 2: you were already holding that, and as you were saying 297 00:11:53,441 --> 00:11:54,081 Speaker 2: those things, I was. 298 00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:56,121 Speaker 1: Like, fuck, am I that picky? 299 00:11:56,281 --> 00:11:59,161 Speaker 3: Like, but I'm picking too, And I get it. We've 300 00:11:59,201 --> 00:12:01,521 Speaker 3: spoken about it. We like nice accommodations. We're not going 301 00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:02,601 Speaker 3: to go You're gonna see us. 302 00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:03,161 Speaker 1: Camping in the tent. 303 00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:05,761 Speaker 2: Just so funny because you're being so concernsider it, right, 304 00:12:05,801 --> 00:12:07,481 Speaker 2: But like I could hear you were anxious, and I 305 00:12:07,521 --> 00:12:10,401 Speaker 2: was like, do I make her anxious? I was like, 306 00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:11,681 Speaker 2: am I abusive? 307 00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:12,401 Speaker 1: When I was kidding? 308 00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:15,281 Speaker 3: And then you replied and you were like, I'm easy 309 00:12:15,321 --> 00:12:17,321 Speaker 3: going as long as like I feel really nice in there, 310 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,761 Speaker 3: But like, how am I going to know? 311 00:12:18,801 --> 00:12:23,041 Speaker 1: Because it was nice? Is this nice? My god? 312 00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:25,321 Speaker 2: It was just like, babe, honestly, it's so fine. Whatever 313 00:12:25,321 --> 00:12:26,481 Speaker 2: one you pick will be good. 314 00:12:26,641 --> 00:12:28,201 Speaker 3: Then I scrolled up and you had said I liked 315 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,681 Speaker 3: the first one best. I was like, booking it. I 316 00:12:30,721 --> 00:12:31,441 Speaker 3: could booking it. 317 00:12:31,681 --> 00:12:35,041 Speaker 2: I'm honestly no, I swear I'm like somewhat of an 318 00:12:35,081 --> 00:12:35,961 Speaker 2: easy going person. 319 00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:38,641 Speaker 1: I think me and you like nice commodations. 320 00:12:38,681 --> 00:12:38,961 Speaker 2: We do. 321 00:12:39,121 --> 00:12:41,361 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not afraid to admit anymore. Well, I'm glad 322 00:12:41,401 --> 00:12:43,481 Speaker 3: you brought that out. That was his me being like, oh, 323 00:12:43,521 --> 00:12:45,121 Speaker 3: it doesn't really come up anymore. 324 00:12:45,521 --> 00:12:47,961 Speaker 1: No, to be fair, though, I haven't seen it come 325 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:48,321 Speaker 1: up for you. 326 00:12:49,281 --> 00:12:51,001 Speaker 2: I haven't seen it come up for you other than that, 327 00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,041 Speaker 2: and only because that was recent. I don't think I've 328 00:12:53,081 --> 00:12:56,401 Speaker 2: ever really seen you expressed feeling like a burden. No, 329 00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,361 Speaker 2: not in the way that it came up last week. 330 00:12:58,521 --> 00:12:59,201 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think. 331 00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:01,561 Speaker 3: So that was Yeah, that was a day I felt 332 00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:03,921 Speaker 3: really bad, Like almost was like going to give you 333 00:13:03,921 --> 00:13:06,281 Speaker 3: the opportunity to pull out, like to not come. 334 00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:09,921 Speaker 1: That's what I felt like. I felt like you were like, yeah, 335 00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:12,081 Speaker 1: in case you didn't, you were starting it not wanting 336 00:13:12,121 --> 00:13:12,401 Speaker 1: to cry. 337 00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:13,721 Speaker 2: You're like, oh, but I don't want to put you 338 00:13:13,761 --> 00:13:16,481 Speaker 2: out with work and clients and it disrupts your week. 339 00:13:16,521 --> 00:13:18,921 Speaker 2: And I'm like, babe, babe, come, I'm like. 340 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,281 Speaker 1: Patting it like it's okay, free text. 341 00:13:22,521 --> 00:13:24,561 Speaker 2: But it's like we all have our things, you know, 342 00:13:24,681 --> 00:13:28,001 Speaker 2: even with the communication thing, right, It's like I can communicate, 343 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,881 Speaker 2: but I also still get triggered. And then remember when 344 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,561 Speaker 2: I was with Silver Fox, I yelled at him out 345 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,721 Speaker 2: in front of your restaurant, yeah, which is so unliked him, 346 00:13:35,721 --> 00:13:37,841 Speaker 2: which was like so unlike me, right, so like out 347 00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:39,961 Speaker 2: of character moment for me. But it was one of 348 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,641 Speaker 2: those real life moments where it just I got triggered. 349 00:13:42,641 --> 00:13:45,001 Speaker 2: He was antagonizing me, and I just like snapped. So 350 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,121 Speaker 2: it's just like you're not listening to me, Like I 351 00:13:47,161 --> 00:13:49,121 Speaker 2: need you to listen to me and give me space. And 352 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,321 Speaker 2: it just like it came out in that moment. Yeah, 353 00:13:51,401 --> 00:13:53,881 Speaker 2: you know, it's cool sometimes it comes out unconsciously. Yeah, 354 00:13:53,921 --> 00:13:56,721 Speaker 2: that's a little girl inside of us. That's like, this 355 00:13:56,761 --> 00:13:59,721 Speaker 2: is the stuff that we've learned behaviors. It's the it's 356 00:13:59,761 --> 00:14:02,841 Speaker 2: what comes out of wound. That's like stuffed real deep down. 357 00:14:03,281 --> 00:14:05,281 Speaker 2: And like for me, it was like he wasn't listenstening 358 00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:06,601 Speaker 2: to me. For you, it was like, don't want to 359 00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:08,361 Speaker 2: feel like a burden like you did when you were younger. 360 00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,641 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so cooled to bring awareness to it. Hey, 361 00:14:11,961 --> 00:14:14,641 Speaker 3: that's why we have these conversations and she rises because 362 00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:17,241 Speaker 3: we know we're not alone or exempt feeling all of this, 363 00:14:17,401 --> 00:14:19,441 Speaker 3: and neither of you. As soon as you can bring 364 00:14:19,521 --> 00:14:21,401 Speaker 3: it forward, have the awareness around it and find love 365 00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:24,481 Speaker 3: for yourself in it, the less scary it feels less. 366 00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:25,681 Speaker 1: Hey, it feels and. 367 00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:27,641 Speaker 2: Even you can hear in the conversation we're having now 368 00:14:27,681 --> 00:14:31,121 Speaker 2: there's no judgment, there's no like high emotion. We're like 369 00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,401 Speaker 2: laughing for the most part anally because it's just neutral. 370 00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:37,561 Speaker 2: It's so just like, oh, I'm looking at this from 371 00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:40,681 Speaker 2: like a data, I'm collecting data. I'm like creating a 372 00:14:40,721 --> 00:14:42,881 Speaker 2: file on Tiana, I'm creating a file now actually, and 373 00:14:42,921 --> 00:14:44,041 Speaker 2: we're learning about ourselves. 374 00:14:44,081 --> 00:14:45,441 Speaker 1: So we can go cool. This is why we do 375 00:14:45,481 --> 00:14:45,841 Speaker 1: what we do. 376 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:48,201 Speaker 2: Definitely, how else do we change the way that we 377 00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:50,361 Speaker 2: show up as we learn? We bring awareness to it. 378 00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:53,521 Speaker 2: We shine torches on these little wounds that exist within 379 00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:56,241 Speaker 2: us and the little niggles and behaviors and things that 380 00:14:56,281 --> 00:14:58,761 Speaker 2: we do that creeps through so that we can be better. 381 00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:01,881 Speaker 3: There's honestly a hand in my heart, not one moment 382 00:15:01,961 --> 00:15:03,921 Speaker 3: in this conversation when you put that. For that, I 383 00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:06,481 Speaker 3: carry shame around for That's why I'm like literally giggling, 384 00:15:06,521 --> 00:15:08,041 Speaker 3: So I'm like, oh wow, that's still there. 385 00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:10,201 Speaker 1: But it isn't of like, oh shit. 386 00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:13,681 Speaker 3: That's really bad, yeah, but all it's just like, oh wow, 387 00:15:13,721 --> 00:15:15,881 Speaker 3: that can still show up. And I think on that 388 00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:18,401 Speaker 3: day I was super dysregulated and upset about other things 389 00:15:19,081 --> 00:15:20,801 Speaker 3: that I didn't even give myself, which is one of 390 00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:22,681 Speaker 3: my things I'm trying to focus this year is actually 391 00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:27,281 Speaker 3: having space to feel that I didn't even really understand 392 00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:29,761 Speaker 3: how disregulated I was feeling and how much that was 393 00:15:29,881 --> 00:15:32,121 Speaker 3: starting to come up for me until now. 394 00:15:32,481 --> 00:15:33,081 Speaker 1: So that's cool. 395 00:15:33,321 --> 00:15:36,041 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's school just stacking, stacking, and there's no 396 00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:38,081 Speaker 3: shame around it. Like when you guys listening, we don't 397 00:15:38,121 --> 00:15:40,001 Speaker 3: want you to carry shame for this stuff coming up 398 00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:42,121 Speaker 3: for you, because we're not shaming ourselves got one bit. 399 00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:44,081 Speaker 3: If anything, it makes me have more love for myself. 400 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,441 Speaker 3: I want to give myself a hug, my younger version 401 00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:49,001 Speaker 3: and my adult version of just like oh you're safe, 402 00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:51,041 Speaker 3: like you're not a burden, and just to have trust 403 00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:52,601 Speaker 3: in you that if you didn't want to come, you 404 00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:54,761 Speaker 3: wouldn't have put your hand up and you wouldn't be like. 405 00:15:54,761 --> 00:15:57,041 Speaker 1: I'm excited and like, well were doing this. I literally 406 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,561 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, can't wait to go to Sydney. 407 00:15:58,561 --> 00:16:00,561 Speaker 1: She's like, I don't want to be a burden. I'm like, babe, 408 00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:02,761 Speaker 1: I want to hang out with you. Usually we get 409 00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:05,321 Speaker 1: sleep offers for seven nights in a row, like this 410 00:16:05,361 --> 00:16:06,241 Speaker 1: is what dreams are made up. 411 00:16:06,361 --> 00:16:08,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah it's true. And that's exactly what I said 412 00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:10,201 Speaker 2: to you in the moment too. I just said, babe, 413 00:16:10,241 --> 00:16:12,081 Speaker 2: like if I couldn't have come, yeah, it was going 414 00:16:12,161 --> 00:16:13,841 Speaker 2: to be not good for me. It was going to 415 00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:15,401 Speaker 2: throw me out all those like I just I would 416 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,521 Speaker 2: have just said no, yes, like I'm coming because I 417 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:17,841 Speaker 2: want to. 418 00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:20,401 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know we're going to have fun. Yes, Oh 419 00:16:20,441 --> 00:16:24,721 Speaker 1: my God, that's coming up. Back to the topic negative 420 00:16:24,721 --> 00:16:25,281 Speaker 1: self talk. 421 00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:27,801 Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I think we could all relate. I think 422 00:16:27,841 --> 00:16:30,281 Speaker 2: we both relate to this one. Yeah, only because we 423 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:34,001 Speaker 2: were talking about it beforehand. Yes, so negative self talk? 424 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,801 Speaker 1: Who do I get this from? 425 00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:39,321 Speaker 3: Both friends? For me mom and stepdad. Your dad doesn't 426 00:16:39,321 --> 00:16:41,521 Speaker 3: seem like he'd be a negative self talk kind of person. 427 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,241 Speaker 1: No, but he can be hard on. 428 00:16:43,281 --> 00:16:46,161 Speaker 2: Himself, has high standards for himself. 429 00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:48,401 Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know your mum as well as what 430 00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:49,481 Speaker 1: I speak to your dad a lot more. 431 00:16:49,681 --> 00:16:51,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would say the negative self talk thing 432 00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:53,161 Speaker 2: probably comes from mom. 433 00:16:53,361 --> 00:16:54,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, in terms. 434 00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:58,521 Speaker 2: Of like can be a bit critical, yeah, nippicky, Yeah, 435 00:16:58,561 --> 00:17:02,921 Speaker 2: that sort of stuff. So with my mum, I've noticed 436 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:06,521 Speaker 2: over the years that Mum really like praises my dad, 437 00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:09,481 Speaker 2: which is really beautiful, but sometimes to the point where 438 00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 2: she puts herself down, you know, where it's like, oh, 439 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:14,441 Speaker 2: but your dad's so smart, and your dad's so intelligent. 440 00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:15,761 Speaker 1: He's the big ideas man. 441 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 2: You know, his idea is better than mine, or he 442 00:17:18,281 --> 00:17:20,281 Speaker 2: can explain it better than me, and like just little 443 00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:20,801 Speaker 2: things like that. 444 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,521 Speaker 1: Oh, I do that with Stave sometimes too. 445 00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:25,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, I really notice it in my mom and 446 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 2: like it makes me feel sad because it makes me 447 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 2: think that she feels disempowered, you know, in comparison to 448 00:17:31,281 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 2: my dad, And like, I get it, they have different 449 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 2: strengths and stuff like that. And my mom there's some 450 00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:37,281 Speaker 2: areas where she's really strong and then maybe my dad 451 00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 2: doesn't have that strength, you know. 452 00:17:38,921 --> 00:17:40,201 Speaker 1: So they compliment each other. 453 00:17:40,761 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 2: But you know, when it comes to like computers and 454 00:17:42,801 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 2: just little things like that, she would be like, oh no, 455 00:17:44,761 --> 00:17:45,561 Speaker 2: I don't know how to do that. 456 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,360 Speaker 1: She won't give herself permission to learn. 457 00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:50,360 Speaker 2: Yes, she's so's too hard, basket, and I'll give it 458 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,761 Speaker 2: to your dad because he'll know how to do it. 459 00:17:52,241 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 2: But sometimes I just like I would love to see 460 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,241 Speaker 2: her empowered in that ali try so I think when 461 00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 2: I see it in myself, I'm like, maybe stop myself 462 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 2: from learning or trying to grow because I'm like, oh, no, 463 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,521 Speaker 2: like men are smarter than me or past part and 464 00:18:06,521 --> 00:18:09,561 Speaker 2: I've done this right, past partners. I've praised them and 465 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,881 Speaker 2: then been like, oh, like I'm not as smart, I'm 466 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,321 Speaker 2: not as capable or whatever. Yeah, And I think it's 467 00:18:14,321 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 2: also comes down to a thing of wanting them to 468 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 2: do it for us, you know, I think so to 469 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,801 Speaker 2: help us. Yeah, I think it's an element of that. 470 00:18:20,921 --> 00:18:22,041 Speaker 2: It's a line with it, I guess. 471 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,681 Speaker 3: Yeah. I see two. And like Steve is super intelligent. 472 00:18:24,721 --> 00:18:27,001 Speaker 3: He's a very smart man. And I always thought he 473 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,841 Speaker 3: was like just naturally quite smart. But then as I've 474 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,241 Speaker 3: observed him over the years, if he wants to learn 475 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:35,041 Speaker 3: about something, like you'll see him for three months straight. Yeah, 476 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,360 Speaker 3: it is every opportunity moment. He's on YouTube, he's reading 477 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,161 Speaker 3: his audio books, he's like talking about it, and he'll 478 00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 3: learn until he fully understands it, can teach it. He 479 00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 3: actually learns. And he's been out of home since he 480 00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:48,321 Speaker 3: was fifteen. He's had to learn so much. It's just 481 00:18:48,321 --> 00:18:50,321 Speaker 3: like in him now to better understand or don't know 482 00:18:50,321 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 3: how to do something, I'll figure it out because I'm like, oh, 483 00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 3: I'm so dumb. I like I can't do it. Can 484 00:18:54,561 --> 00:18:55,561 Speaker 3: you do it for me? Because I just won't be 485 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,521 Speaker 3: able to figure that out. Yeah, because he's like, no. 486 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 1: You can. You just don't want to. Are you lazy? 487 00:19:00,561 --> 00:19:05,321 Speaker 1: Are you not interested? Or are you wanting some help? Clear? 488 00:19:05,481 --> 00:19:06,361 Speaker 1: I love the men. 489 00:19:06,481 --> 00:19:08,640 Speaker 2: I love men in that sense, like they're very driven 490 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 2: in that so just like I really admire that about men. 491 00:19:11,521 --> 00:19:13,321 Speaker 2: They really put their mind to something and then they 492 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,801 Speaker 2: would just make it happen. 493 00:19:14,801 --> 00:19:15,961 Speaker 1: If they really want to. 494 00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like there's some stuff Steve doesn't want to do, 495 00:19:17,961 --> 00:19:19,881 Speaker 3: like say, mowing the lawns. It's like, fine, I would 496 00:19:19,961 --> 00:19:22,360 Speaker 3: rather put my time into growing the business than being 497 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,241 Speaker 3: out mowing the lawn. 498 00:19:23,241 --> 00:19:24,041 Speaker 1: So I delegate that. 499 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,961 Speaker 3: But if it's something he's really interested in, it will 500 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 3: help him grow his business or grow him as a person, 501 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:28,801 Speaker 3: Like he'll. 502 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,721 Speaker 1: Go all over it, all over it. Yeah, my dad's 503 00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:31,161 Speaker 1: like that too. 504 00:19:31,281 --> 00:19:34,001 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think, yeah, maybe like disempowering myself and 505 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,360 Speaker 2: being like oh oh maybe I can't learn that or 506 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 2: you know, maybe I'm not capable or maybe you know, 507 00:19:38,321 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 2: as that definitely comes up for me. 508 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it's good way to look at it. Actually, 509 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,521 Speaker 3: I've never looked at it like feeling disempowered. I've just 510 00:19:44,521 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 3: thought like, oh, I myya Stephen, how smart he is 511 00:19:46,481 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 3: and he'll do it faster than me. Like if it's 512 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,961 Speaker 3: something to do with Taj and helping him, Oh that's 513 00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 3: a bad question. 514 00:19:50,761 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 1: Like, yes, he's so much smarter than me. 515 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:52,640 Speaker 3: Get that. 516 00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:56,521 Speaker 2: But it does make you feel disempowered. Yeah, And it's like, 517 00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 2: to what degree is that happening? Yes, you know definitely 518 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:01,201 Speaker 2: where else is it showing up? Yeah? 519 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,201 Speaker 3: And then also what is that teaching? Taj Like I'll 520 00:20:03,241 --> 00:20:05,561 Speaker 3: just go ask someone smarter or actually like and figure 521 00:20:05,561 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 3: it out. 522 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: YEA, that interesting. Cool, We're learning a lot this way. 523 00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:12,921 Speaker 2: But yeah, so the way that I'm kind of learning 524 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:15,001 Speaker 2: how to reparent myself through that and have been over 525 00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 2: the years, I definitely think it's been a journey for 526 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 2: me in terms of negative self talk. I used to 527 00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 2: be really bad with it, probably like five years ago, 528 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,640 Speaker 2: and then I kind of just made a commitment to 529 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:27,121 Speaker 2: myself to kind of like drown out the negativity. And 530 00:20:27,281 --> 00:20:29,480 Speaker 2: what I mean by that is any time that I 531 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,761 Speaker 2: noticed that I'm like kind of shitting on myself or 532 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 2: you know, punishing myself or being like you can't do 533 00:20:34,921 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 2: it and you're not smart enough and see you can't 534 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,321 Speaker 2: follow through and that at that, like all the negative 535 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:40,761 Speaker 2: head talk, I go. 536 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,041 Speaker 1: No, I'm not entertaining that today. 537 00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:44,521 Speaker 2: That's nice and just like no, you know what, like 538 00:20:44,521 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 2: that doesn't have to be my story and I just 539 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,561 Speaker 2: don't give it any weight. And I found that the 540 00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:50,721 Speaker 2: more that I've kind of not given any of that weight, 541 00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:54,041 Speaker 2: and I focus on what I would rather tell myself instead. 542 00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 1: I feel more empowered. 543 00:20:56,241 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 2: Because my head is not full of negative things that 544 00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 2: I'm feeding myself every single day. It's actually full of 545 00:21:02,201 --> 00:21:05,921 Speaker 2: things of like, yes, this is hard, but you will learn. Yes, 546 00:21:05,961 --> 00:21:08,321 Speaker 2: this feels challenging, but that's how you're gonna grow, Like 547 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 2: of course, like give it a month and you'll be fine. 548 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 2: The ways that I talk to myself really change the 549 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,961 Speaker 2: way that I feel about myself. And there was actually 550 00:21:14,961 --> 00:21:17,281 Speaker 2: a video that I saw on social media this woman 551 00:21:17,321 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 2: talking to herself, right, and she's staring directly at the camera, 552 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 2: and it's like, watch me change my thoughts and how 553 00:21:23,321 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 2: I think and feel about myself and how that changes 554 00:21:25,441 --> 00:21:28,681 Speaker 2: my exterior. And she's looking at the camera and she's smiling, 555 00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:32,321 Speaker 2: and she's like and she's talking to herself really positively, 556 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,680 Speaker 2: and she's like got this smirk on her face and 557 00:21:33,721 --> 00:21:35,880 Speaker 2: she looks all lit up, and then she starts to 558 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,401 Speaker 2: go into negative self talk and her face literally changes. 559 00:21:39,761 --> 00:21:43,640 Speaker 2: It goes from like a smile to like a oh, 560 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,761 Speaker 2: and like changes her physiology. Yeah, yeah, And I just 561 00:21:47,801 --> 00:21:50,361 Speaker 2: thought that was really cool because that's a cool representation 562 00:21:50,441 --> 00:21:54,640 Speaker 2: of how negative self talk impacts your energy, how you feel, 563 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 2: your vibration, the way that you look those things. 564 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought that was really cool. That is really cool. 565 00:22:00,281 --> 00:22:02,801 Speaker 3: Another thing I do too, I love the like how 566 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,241 Speaker 3: you're like that doesn't have to be my story. 567 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:05,041 Speaker 1: I do that as well. 568 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,921 Speaker 3: So and then there's also things that like something I'd 569 00:22:07,961 --> 00:22:10,360 Speaker 3: say I was dumb at, let's say Facebook ads, I 570 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,920 Speaker 3: look at Steve's computers and I'm like, oh my god. 571 00:22:13,241 --> 00:22:15,400 Speaker 3: I used to say, like, I'm so dumb I could 572 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,321 Speaker 3: not learn how to do that. Now I say, I'm 573 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,881 Speaker 3: not dumb. I actually have no interest in learning that. 574 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,601 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not passionate about that. 575 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,880 Speaker 3: I would rather be my creative I'd rather be out 576 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,360 Speaker 3: here doing that. Not dumb, just knowledge, just in learning. 577 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 3: My mom helped me realize this because when I used 578 00:22:29,521 --> 00:22:30,961 Speaker 3: to say I'm dumb, she said to me and older, 579 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,281 Speaker 3: you're not dumb. You're actually really smart. When you're passionate 580 00:22:34,321 --> 00:22:36,400 Speaker 3: about something and you're taught in a way that you understand. 581 00:22:36,921 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 3: If you're not bookstart doesn't mean that you're dumb all 582 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 3: of a sudden. You just learn in a different way. 583 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,521 Speaker 3: And the things you love you're really good at. 584 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:43,440 Speaker 1: Yes, it's true. 585 00:22:43,481 --> 00:22:45,321 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, that's so interesting, So maybe 586 00:22:45,441 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 3: not just not interested in it, you're just in science, 587 00:22:47,681 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 3: not interesting. 588 00:22:48,481 --> 00:22:49,241 Speaker 1: I don't want to learn. 589 00:22:49,321 --> 00:22:51,961 Speaker 3: I've got a calculator, You're okay, I'm not going to 590 00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 3: use a buns and burner and I've got to calculate. 591 00:22:53,441 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: I don't need to learn my times table wants. 592 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:59,561 Speaker 2: To know the square root of Pike three point one forward. Honestly, 593 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,961 Speaker 2: just that makes so much that that's a really beautiful 594 00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:04,041 Speaker 2: way of framing it is because then it's like that 595 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,640 Speaker 2: story doesn't become your story for future things. 596 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,321 Speaker 1: That's like, no, I actually don't want to do this. 597 00:23:08,481 --> 00:23:11,001 Speaker 3: But if you told yourself you're dumb every time you 598 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 3: have come across a new challenge, are you dumb or 599 00:23:12,961 --> 00:23:14,400 Speaker 3: you're not interested in learning? Or have you have you 600 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 3: even given a go? Yeah, maybe you'll be a fucking 601 00:23:16,441 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 3: genius at it. Yes, to get some time to learn it. 602 00:23:18,961 --> 00:23:19,161 Speaker 1: Oh. 603 00:23:19,201 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 2: There was this quote that really stuck with me, and 604 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,441 Speaker 2: it was like, did you try or did you move 605 00:23:23,481 --> 00:23:24,281 Speaker 2: the fucking world. 606 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:24,761 Speaker 1: To make it happen? 607 00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:25,321 Speaker 3: Yeah? 608 00:23:25,441 --> 00:23:30,001 Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm humbled, you're right here, thank you. No, 609 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:30,761 Speaker 1: because it's true. 610 00:23:30,801 --> 00:23:32,481 Speaker 2: That hit me in the face, But did you try? 611 00:23:32,761 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 2: Did you move the fucking world to make it happen? 612 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,241 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god, that's like my motto 613 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:36,801 Speaker 2: for everything. 614 00:23:36,801 --> 00:23:36,961 Speaker 3: Now. 615 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,721 Speaker 1: If i ever feel disappointed in an. 616 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 2: Outcome, I'm like, I say that to myself. So true, 617 00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:45,441 Speaker 2: you tell me which one you chose? So true, really passionate. 618 00:23:45,561 --> 00:23:46,321 Speaker 1: I love that. 619 00:23:46,561 --> 00:23:49,961 Speaker 3: Break it in so written down, pretending to be strong 620 00:23:50,001 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 3: all the time isn't good for anyone, And how I 621 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,840 Speaker 3: do things differently with my kids but also need to 622 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 3: practice doing this myself. Goes back into my words of 623 00:23:57,921 --> 00:24:02,561 Speaker 3: this year and actually allowing myself to feel everything rather 624 00:24:02,561 --> 00:24:05,321 Speaker 3: than trying to be strong all the time. But it's 625 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:08,521 Speaker 3: something I'm still actively working on. But if I don't 626 00:24:08,521 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 3: do that, then my kids are going to feel like 627 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:11,360 Speaker 3: they have to do that because they see me be 628 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,041 Speaker 3: strong all the time. 629 00:24:12,241 --> 00:24:12,441 Speaker 1: Yeah. 630 00:24:12,761 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 3: So there is times now when I'm upset and I'm crying. 631 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 3: I'll go into my bedroom so the kids don't have 632 00:24:17,961 --> 00:24:20,440 Speaker 3: to see me. But then Tyler will come in and say, Mommy, 633 00:24:20,481 --> 00:24:22,281 Speaker 3: I love you and like are you okay and kiss 634 00:24:22,281 --> 00:24:24,120 Speaker 3: and cuddle me, and I'm like, Mommy's just sad, and 635 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 3: I'll tell her I'm feeling sad because I don't want 636 00:24:25,921 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 3: to hurt every feeling shame for feeling sad. Or I'll 637 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,400 Speaker 3: say ta, Taj, I've had a really stressful, hard day. 638 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:33,600 Speaker 3: I love my work, but there's a lot I'm holding 639 00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:36,120 Speaker 3: right now, or so Annie Megi today and I'm feeling 640 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,401 Speaker 3: really sad about Rambo and he'll say why, and I'll 641 00:24:38,441 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 3: like explain it to him. It's like every emotion is 642 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,441 Speaker 3: going to be in their human experience, so I want 643 00:24:43,481 --> 00:24:45,481 Speaker 3: to share a bit more of that with them rather 644 00:24:45,481 --> 00:24:47,281 Speaker 3: than just trying to keep my shit together all the time. 645 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,561 Speaker 1: And in reality, am I keeping my shit together all 646 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:49,801 Speaker 1: the time? 647 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,920 Speaker 3: No? I'm probably more snappy, more on edge, and more 648 00:24:51,961 --> 00:24:55,241 Speaker 3: anxious if I'm not allowing myself to actually feel so true, 649 00:24:55,241 --> 00:24:57,360 Speaker 3: And that's why I wanted to take more time to 650 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 3: feel whatever comes up for me this year instead of 651 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 3: trying to just push it to the side, to be strong, 652 00:25:02,321 --> 00:25:04,160 Speaker 3: to get shit done and be a good mum and 653 00:25:04,201 --> 00:25:04,761 Speaker 3: all the things. 654 00:25:05,441 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, so inspired by the way that your parent, Thank. 655 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 3: You appreciate that always room for improvement, but do my best. 656 00:25:12,481 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 3: Thank you, incredible parent, Thank you very much appreciate that 657 00:25:15,761 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 3: love you do you. 658 00:25:17,441 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 1: Have any more I think that's all. Thank you for 659 00:25:19,721 --> 00:25:22,561 Speaker 1: joining us. We hope you learned something. We definitely did learn. 660 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,961 Speaker 2: We definitely like took a turn, but it's good. I 661 00:25:24,961 --> 00:25:26,321 Speaker 2: feel like we went a little bit deeper than what 662 00:25:26,321 --> 00:25:28,281 Speaker 2: we were planning on. Great this episode, which is great. 663 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 3: Just learned more about ourselves and each other. Yeah, which 664 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:36,641 Speaker 3: is really cool. Yeah, love that. It really is if 665 00:25:36,681 --> 00:25:38,440 Speaker 3: you love this kind of topic. And even like in 666 00:25:38,481 --> 00:25:40,601 Speaker 3: a child work, there's a whole month we have inside 667 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,120 Speaker 3: Rise and Side that's all about this because in a 668 00:25:43,201 --> 00:25:46,041 Speaker 3: child work is some of the most powerful work you'll 669 00:25:46,041 --> 00:25:49,281 Speaker 3: ever do. You can build a relationship with your little 670 00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:52,521 Speaker 3: girl inside you. Oh, I just can't even explain what 671 00:25:52,561 --> 00:25:53,801 Speaker 3: it does for you. It just helps you have so 672 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,601 Speaker 3: much more compassion because I just always think about and 673 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,441 Speaker 3: maybe now I've got a little girl and a little boy, 674 00:25:58,481 --> 00:26:01,001 Speaker 3: but I just think about when I'm really hard on myself, 675 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,360 Speaker 3: and then I like, look at a photo of my 676 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,721 Speaker 3: younger self. I would never be that hard on Tyler Rata. 677 00:26:05,521 --> 00:26:07,041 Speaker 3: Why am I being that hard on myself? Because that 678 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,041 Speaker 3: little girl, she's still a part of who I am. 679 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,361 Speaker 3: She still has the same heart, she's still sensitive, she's still. 680 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:12,961 Speaker 1: Hard on herself. 681 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,761 Speaker 3: She still wants to do her best and she's still 682 00:26:14,761 --> 00:26:18,281 Speaker 3: making mistakes. You've got to allow love and compassion for that. 683 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:21,041 Speaker 3: And that's what your child work is so really excited 684 00:26:21,041 --> 00:26:21,521 Speaker 3: for that month. 685 00:26:21,561 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, it's gonna be really beautiful because, like, at 686 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,801 Speaker 2: the end of the day, like your foundation and your 687 00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:29,001 Speaker 2: relationship with yourself is the first one. Yes, it is 688 00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:32,001 Speaker 2: above all everything else, and then everyone else comes after that. 689 00:26:32,201 --> 00:26:34,880 Speaker 2: So if your relationship with yourself can become a really 690 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,360 Speaker 2: beautiful safe haven for yourself, and it's like the way 691 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,400 Speaker 2: that you treat everyone else in your life, you'll only 692 00:26:40,441 --> 00:26:43,281 Speaker 2: mirror that and rippule that into everyone else, you know, 693 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 2: because when you think about the things that you needed 694 00:26:46,801 --> 00:26:49,561 Speaker 2: from your parents to feel loved, to feel safe, to 695 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,880 Speaker 2: feel seen, to feel heard, all of those things, and 696 00:26:52,921 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 2: you can become that person for you. How empowering that 697 00:26:55,761 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 2: you're ever going to have to outsource anything ever in 698 00:26:58,201 --> 00:27:01,761 Speaker 2: your life because ultimately you are everything that you need. 699 00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 2: Everything else after that is just a bonus, you know. 700 00:27:04,721 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 2: And like, as a woman for yourself, if you're listening 701 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,321 Speaker 2: to this and you're like, oh my gosh, I want 702 00:27:09,321 --> 00:27:11,680 Speaker 2: to be able to lead myself in my life, in 703 00:27:11,761 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 2: my emotions, my relationships. Building a relationship with you in 704 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,321 Speaker 2: a child is where it's going to start. And if 705 00:27:17,321 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 2: you can heal that, you can do anything, definitely. 706 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 3: So if you've listened to this, you're like, gosh, I've 707 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:23,761 Speaker 3: never gonnect to with mat in a child, or I 708 00:27:23,761 --> 00:27:26,281 Speaker 3: want to learn more about this. It's month three, yeah, 709 00:27:26,441 --> 00:27:29,161 Speaker 3: Month three yeah inside Rise Inside. 710 00:27:28,921 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 2: So yes, But if when you join Rise Inside, you're 711 00:27:31,281 --> 00:27:33,281 Speaker 2: going to start from the very beginning because you've got 712 00:27:33,281 --> 00:27:35,561 Speaker 2: to go through the nervous system work first before you 713 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,801 Speaker 2: can go onto any other month. So even if everybody 714 00:27:37,801 --> 00:27:39,201 Speaker 2: else is a couple of months ahead of you, that's 715 00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:40,001 Speaker 2: absolutely okay. 716 00:27:40,041 --> 00:27:41,121 Speaker 1: You're on your own journey. 717 00:27:41,481 --> 00:27:44,920 Speaker 2: Start with nervous system first, then mindset, mindset. 718 00:27:44,681 --> 00:27:47,360 Speaker 1: He believes, and then also in a child healing yeah. 719 00:27:47,561 --> 00:27:48,321 Speaker 1: Month three yeah. 720 00:27:48,321 --> 00:27:50,561 Speaker 3: I feel like the month for one really sets everyone 721 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 3: up for the months to come because you have to 722 00:27:52,201 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 3: have a regulated nervous system, but actually unpack and go 723 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 3: through all of the other things. But the way we teach, 724 00:27:57,961 --> 00:28:00,481 Speaker 3: I just feel like it's very easy to integrate. Yes, 725 00:28:00,561 --> 00:28:04,281 Speaker 3: because you understand it. Your building your toolbox. You can 726 00:28:04,321 --> 00:28:06,321 Speaker 3: take things off and even the meditations and the inner 727 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,321 Speaker 3: chelf month though, Like that is just the most beautiful 728 00:28:08,321 --> 00:28:09,640 Speaker 3: way to connect with your younger self. 729 00:28:09,721 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 1: So good, so freakin call. 730 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,961 Speaker 3: So we'll leave the details in our description box. Otherwise, 731 00:28:13,001 --> 00:28:14,561 Speaker 3: I just pop over to our Instagram. We can help 732 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:14,921 Speaker 3: you out. 733 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,041 Speaker 1: Otherwise, we'll see you guys in the next episode and 734 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 1: we'll see you then. Bye bye