1 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: Hey folks. Before the podcast, a quick announcement for me. 2 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: I'm running a special event called The Hardiness Effect. It's 3 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: a full day workshop plus six week app based program 4 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: designed to literally rewy your body and brand to thrive 5 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: under pressure, whilst helping you optimize your health and live longer. Now, 6 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 1: this isn't fluffy self help bullship. This is based on 7 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: my published research. The same intervention we tested in a 8 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 1: recent randomized control trial. The results on average people saw 9 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 1: a twenty seven percent improvement in mood, a twenty six 10 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 1: percent reduction in perceived stress, and a twenty six percent 11 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: jump in gratitude. On top of that, we also measured 12 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: enhanced cognitive function. So this isn't theory. It works. Here's 13 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: what you'll get on the day. You learn how to 14 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: use hormetic stress things like exercise, heat, code, light and 15 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 1: nature to turn your body into a resilience building AIDS 16 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: defying machine. You'll also master the four pillars of psychological hardiness. 17 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 1: You'll also get clarity on how to reclaim your energy 18 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: you're focusing your health. You'll connect with like minded people 19 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: who are also on this journey, and you'll get a 20 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: signed copy of my leader's book, the Hardiness Effect. Then 21 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: over the six week program, you'll have access to my 22 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 1: Hardiness app that has workouts, breathing and meditation sessions, educational videos, 23 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 1: and a ritual board to help you build healthy habits. 24 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: It will keep you accountable, it will give you a structure, 25 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: help you connect with others in the workshop, and help 26 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: hardwire these habits into your life. So if you're serious 27 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: about showing up as your best self, whether it's at work, 28 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: at home, and for the people who matter most, then 29 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: this workshop and program is for you. So early bird 30 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: racing is still in effect and space as are limited, 31 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: So if this resonates with you, jump onto my website 32 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: www Dot Paul Taylor dot biz and book your Plis 33 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 1: there a night on with the podcast? 34 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 2: Hey everyone, it's Carlie Taylor here and welcome back to 35 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 2: Mojo Monday. So today I want to talk about a 36 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,519 Speaker 2: type of anxiety that all of us would have felt 37 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 2: at some stage, and for some it can be so 38 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 2: strong and so intense that it can really hold them 39 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 2: back from reaching their potential. And what I'm talking about 40 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 2: is performance anxiety. And I know this one very well personally. 41 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 2: So in my past life, many many many moons ago. 42 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 2: I was a musician, so music was my strength at school, 43 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 2: it was my thing, and I went on to complete 44 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 2: a Bachelor of Performance majoring in fluid at the Adelaide Conservatorium, 45 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 2: and for years my world revolved around performing in front 46 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 2: of others. You know, I will. It's lucky that I 47 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 2: have this very natural ability, and I played in orchestras 48 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 2: and throughout Union was doing a lot of solo performances. 49 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 2: But what I did have was, or what I really 50 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 2: struggled with, was performance anxiety. And it really got in 51 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 2: the way of what I was capable of. It got 52 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 2: in the way of my potential. Performance anxiety is also 53 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 2: known as stage fright. That's probably what we used to 54 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: refer it as. It's really intense at stress response that 55 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 2: rises up from the depths of your nervous system when 56 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 2: all eyes are on you. And it's not just about 57 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 2: music or acting or sport. It can happen anywhere at 58 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 2: any time. You know, when you're presenting at work, if 59 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 2: you've got to do a presentation, or even if you've 60 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 2: got to speak out in a meeting, you can get 61 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 2: that performance anxiety when you're introducing yourself in a group. 62 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 2: You know, when it's like, Okay, everyone introduced yourself, and 63 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 2: like you're the last one to go, and that can 64 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: build up that stress before it gets to you, or 65 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 2: before a date. You might be going on a date 66 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 2: you get really nervous, or an exam. A lot of 67 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 2: kids are just about to start their year twelve exams, 68 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 2: so there can be a lot of performance anxiety in 69 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 2: those contexts. It is a form of social anxiety, and 70 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 2: it's where our self worth feels like it's on the line. 71 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 2: So it's this fear of being judged, of saying something stupid, 72 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 2: of being seen as not good enough. And I think 73 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 2: that doesn't have to be like a cognitive like a 74 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 2: thought process. It can you can just feel it in 75 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 2: your body. And at its core, performance anxiety is really 76 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 2: about caring deeply, and it's that two sides of the 77 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 2: coin idea that I often talk about. So you've got 78 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 2: anxiety on one side and then something meaningful on the other. 79 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 2: So when you really care about something, of course there's 80 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 2: going to be anxiety. But it's when we get stuck 81 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 2: focusing on that anxious side, the worry, the rumination, the hypervigilance, 82 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 2: we can really lose sight of the side that gives 83 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 2: it meaning, and over time that can quietly shape the 84 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 2: direction of our lives because it can stop us in 85 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 2: our tracks. If the anxiety is so intense, it's so uncomfortable, 86 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 2: our mind is coming up with all the reasons why 87 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: we should just turn around and run. It can stop 88 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 2: us from the doing the things that are important to us. 89 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 2: So what can we do about it? Well, start to 90 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 2: recognize what it is that you care about. So when 91 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,679 Speaker 2: you can see the value underneath the anxiety, the reason 92 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 2: that it really matters, you're more likely to be kinder 93 00:05:55,160 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 2: to yourself. And this awareness brings acceptance and it really 94 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 2: helps you widen your focus to the bigger picture. It 95 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 2: gives you the why. And that reminded me of the 96 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 2: philosopher Nietzsche who said, he who has a why to 97 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 2: live for can bear almost anyhow. And then next is 98 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 2: around working with your attention and focus on what you 99 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 2: can control. So you can't control what thoughts or emotion 100 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 2: us arise, but you can control how you respond to them, 101 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 2: and this includes how much attention you give them. So 102 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 2: you can't control what other people think, say, or do, 103 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,919 Speaker 2: but you can control whether that stops you from doing 104 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 2: what's important to you. And of course a certain level 105 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 2: of stress is actually quite useful. It sharpens focus, it 106 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 2: boosts motivation. But it's when it tips over that's when 107 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,360 Speaker 2: it can make you freeze or crumble. And the key 108 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 2: is learning to work with it and not against it. 109 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 2: And you can ask yourself, is my anxiety coming from 110 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: a lack of preparation? Is this about skill? Because if 111 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 2: it is, that's something that you can fix. You can 112 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 2: control that. So preparation is your best ally focusing on 113 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 2: the process rather than the outcome. So if you're doing 114 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 2: a talk, practice in front of a mirror, practice in 115 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 2: frunt of a friend or even your dog. If you're 116 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 2: going on a date, have a few conversation prompts in 117 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: mind before you go. If you're contributing, or you want 118 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: to contribute to a meeting, and you can you've kind 119 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 2: of got an idea of what you want to add, 120 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 2: then jot down what you want to say beforehand. Because 121 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 2: confidence grows when you trust yourself, and that trust comes 122 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 2: from knowing that you've done the work and those negative, 123 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 2: self defeating thoughts they will show up, that's what our 124 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 2: minds just do. But you can change your relationship with them. 125 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 2: So research on cognitive reappraisal shows that reframing how we 126 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 2: interpret a stressful situation can actually reduce its emotional impact. 127 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 2: So for example, instead of thinking, oh my god, I'm 128 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 2: so nervous, I can't do this, you might reframe that too, Okay, 129 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 2: my body is just gearing up for me to perform. 130 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 2: It's doing its job, and that shift in interpretation can 131 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 2: make all the difference. And then finally to regulate your 132 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 2: body's stress response, so your physiology, so using tools like 133 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 2: box breathing, sighing, Like sighing is a big one. It's 134 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 2: like whenever you see babies who have been crying a 135 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 2: lot at the end, sort of towards the end, the 136 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 2: way they calm themselves is they take this big breath 137 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: in and then another little breath and then they sigh 138 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 2: it out. Or grounding yourself through your senses, So notice 139 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 2: what you can hear, you know, maybe it's five things 140 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 2: you can hear, What can you see, what can you touch, 141 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 2: what can you smell? Or even doing a quick burst 142 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 2: of physical movement to release that excess energy. So when 143 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 2: our daughter was sitting her year twelve exams last year, 144 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 2: we suggested that she takes a moment to just before 145 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 2: the exam to sprint on the spot or do a 146 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 2: few quick squats before going in, And it's just thirty 147 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 2: seconds is enough to get that heart rate up and 148 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 2: shift your body from threat mode to okay, I've got 149 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 2: this mode. And another thing she found helpful too, which 150 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 2: I think can be used in other areas as well, 151 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 2: was keeping a little distance from people who were very 152 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 2: vocal about their nerves. So some people need to express 153 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 2: their anxiety out loud, but being around that kind of 154 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 2: energy can amplify your own anxiety. So it's okay to 155 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 2: protect your headspace and your physiology by just stepping back. 156 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 2: And one more really simple but powerful tool is to 157 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 2: ship to your gaze to the distance. So when we're anxious, 158 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 2: our vision naturally narrows into tunnel vision, which is linked 159 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 2: to the brain's fight or flight circuits. But consciously relaxing 160 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 2: your eyes and looking to the farthest point of the 161 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 2: room or to the horizon if you've got a window there, 162 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 2: or if you're outside, you're actually sending a signal of 163 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 2: safety to your brain. So Andrew Huberman, who most of 164 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 2: you will knows, very well known neuroscientist and podcaster but 165 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 2: he talks about this. So when you dilate your gaze 166 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 2: and go into panoramic vision, you're directly reducing the level 167 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 2: of alertness and stressing your body because you're turning off 168 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 2: that sympathetic nervous system drive. So in other words, you're 169 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:54,679 Speaker 2: broadening your visual field, which can help calm your physiology, 170 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 2: bringing your body and mind back onto the same team. 171 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 2: From my experience as a performer, the more I performed, 172 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 2: the less my mind and body saw it as a threat. 173 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 2: And that is gradual exposure in action. So I had 174 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: to be willing to feel a level of discomfort and perform. 175 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: And these days i'd still get anxious. I don't play 176 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: the fleet anymore, but I still get anxious before presenting 177 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 2: to corporates or school groups. But now those nerves they 178 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 2: actually motivate me, So my attitude towards them has changed. 179 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 2: So when I feel myself slipping into that threat mode, 180 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 2: which can happen, I'm more aware of it and so 181 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 2: I can catch myself on and then I can do 182 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 2: what I can to slowly shift into more challenge mode instead. 183 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 2: So if you or someone you know has an event 184 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,719 Speaker 2: coming up and the nerves are starting to kick in. 185 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 2: Just remember that's okay. It means you care, find your why, 186 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 2: soften your gaze to the father Father's point that you 187 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 2: can see, do some box breathing or do a couple 188 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 2: of big size move your body for thirty seconds, and 189 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,360 Speaker 2: then step in. If you've done the work, you can 190 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 2: now go forward and trust yourself. I love helping people 191 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: out in this space, in the performance anxiety space, So 192 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 2: if you are struggling with this and you feel that 193 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,119 Speaker 2: it's actually getting in the way of you reaching your potential, 194 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 2: please reach out to me. You can go to my 195 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 2: website Carlietaylor Coaching dot com dot au and on that note, 196 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 2: have a great week and I'll catch you next week.