WEBVTT - Lisa Curry: 'My toughest chapter' – grief, perimenopause and reinvention 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:03.920 Before we begin, a quick content note. Today's episode includes 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:08.119 discussion of mental health and suicide. Listener discretion is advised. 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:13.680 I have just had one of those weeks from hell, 0:00:14.000 --> 0:00:18.480 and it's not that one particular thing has happened. It's 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.760 just almost a bit like death by a thousand paper cuts. 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.279 My hubby is away, I got a concern call from 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.160 the school teacher yesterday about one of my kids who 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:32.360 seems very distant and distracted in class. My other daughter 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:35.760 is gutted because she didn't make the school play. I've 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:39.159 had a week of lots of media engagements, which is 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.479 a lot of cognitive load, and I have a lot 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:43.440 of in a talk when I do a lot of 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:47.280 media engagements about confidence, self worth, etc. And then of 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:49.480 course when I'm in the city all day, I fall 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:52.360 really behind on my other work, and then I feel 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.760 like I'm letting people down. On top of that, I 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:57.160 don't think I've had more than six hours sleep for 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.880 the last seven to ten nights, so yes, of course, 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.360 Perry menopause symptoms start to dial up. The night sweats, 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:07.160 the poor sleep. I actually felt the other night almost 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:09.479 like I was close to a panic attack, and then 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:13.440 I had this moment of meals like, nothing is that wrong. 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:17.000 You don't have any big trauma or any massive grief 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:19.560 right now. You've got four beautiful kids, You've got a 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:25.119 husband that loves you. Like, why are you struggling so much? 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:29.280 I just thought to myself, adulting is so so hard. 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:32.440 And I don't know about you, but this particular stage 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:35.800 of life I feel like is almost like being in 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:57.000 a vice. This is healthy her with Amelia Phillips Perry menopause. 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:00.520 That three to ten year time frame before we reach 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:04.400 menopause can be likened to a storm season. You see, 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:08.160 just like a storm, there are many hormonal weather patterns 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:11.160 that can destabilize us. You know, you can cause these 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:15.720 unpredictable shifts and in some cases can cause significant damage 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:18.959 like a storm, to our body and also our mind. 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:22.160 But it's not just our hormones that are impacting us 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:26.760 during this storm season. Midlife like, what an interesting time. 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:32.240 It's so full of these other destabilizing challenges, from raising kids, 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:39.360 to looking after aging parents, to break ups, breakdowns, grief, trauma, 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:43.480 sometimes old trauma bubbling back up, and then finally looking 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:48.399 at redefining this next chapter of our life. It's no 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:50.920 wonder so many of us find this period one of 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:54.800 the toughest ones to endure, So for today's episode, I 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.320 really wanted to reach out and speak to someone who 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:00.760 has navigated their own storm season of me life. They've 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:05.519 been through some very tough lows, but also some amazing 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:08.440 highs as well, and they've come out the other side 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.760 ready to share some expertise and some wisdom with the 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:17.160 rest of us. To cue the incredible Lisa Curry. Lisa 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.680 is one of Australia's most accomplished athletes and business woman. 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:25.200 She's a three time Olympian, Commonwealth Games gold medalist and 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:28.959 best selling author. But interestingly, her greatest lessons, as we're 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:32.400 about to find out, haven't come necessarily from the podium. 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:38.160 They've come from navigating profound personal loss, public scrutiny, business reinvention, 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:42.760 and the very real hormonal and emotional shifts of midlife. 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:45.960 Lisa is such a great guide for us through this 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:50.520 perimenopause and menopause period as she has fully immersed herself 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:53.880 in this world of midlife health. She's founded the really 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:58.440 successful health supplement and lifestyle company, Happy Healthy You. She's 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:01.560 published a book. By the same time, She's published many books, 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:04.520 but this particular book, Happy Healthy You, is all about 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:08.320 balancing hormones through perry and menopause. And she has become 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:13.040 such a powerful voice for resilience and for mental health advocacy. 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:19.159 She understands discipline, she understands reinvention, she understands grief. A 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:23.279 woman who has weathered storms, rebuilt and found strength in 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:27.200 the process. Lisa, thank you so much for joining us today. 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:32.960 So I'm exhausted listening to you. I feel you so much. 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.960 I mean, you've got four kids. Yeah, you know, you're 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:39.680 juggling a lot, and like you said, so many women 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:44.360 who are out there feeling exactly the same. And one 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.240 thing that other people don't see is I don't see 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:48.760 those days. And I don't know if you've done this, 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.320 but I know I have where you just curl up 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:54.760 in a ball in the corner of the kitchen and cry. Yeah, 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.880 and no one sees that. No, you know, And I 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.520 know I have actually said to people and les you 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:04.920 have felt that. You don't understand that because it's such 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:10.560 an overwhelming sense of oh my god, you know what 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:14.159 is wrong with me? So you can't even see the 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.120 light at the end of the tunnel, you know, it's 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:17.360 a really hard place to be. 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:21.880 It really really is, and it's actually also paralyzing. So 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.599 right at a time when actually what you need is 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:29.920 momentum and energy and positivity, you're feeling like you're shrinking 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:34.279 and becoming paralyzed. And so it almost feels like this 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:38.400 downward spiral. And I am not the only one that 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:40.280 feels this. I have women reaching out to me all 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.760 the time, and people look to me and go, oh, yeah, 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.000 you know, such a high achiever and you've got the 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:46.719 four kids and you're doing this and you're doing that. 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:48.200 And I'm like, yeah, well you should have seen me 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:51.599 yesterday afternoon, like you say, on the fetal position, crying 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:52.800 for no particular reason. 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.599 If you saw my Instagram post a couple of days ago, 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:57.680 it was just a picture of wonder woman lying on 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:01.719 the ground. Yeah, and all it was mood, you know, 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:05.920 And that was my day. I just couldn't. People expect 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:08.120 you to be up all the time. They expect you 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.440 to be strong all the time because of their perception 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.160 of you or what they know of you or see 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:16.800 tiny snippets of you. But behind closed doors, no one 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.400 sees that. And yeah, there are days when you're you 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:25.080 completely exhausted and you don't have anything for anyone else, 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:25.920 let alone yourself. 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:31.160 But I'd love to start with your perimenopause and menopause experience. 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.159 Can you I know you're out the other side now, 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.360 so congratulations. 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:39.920 Did you get a medal or no party? No? 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:43.640 Yeah, But now that you are out of the other side, 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:46.599 can you talk us through your experience? What were the 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:50.719 symptoms you experienced. I can imagine being so fit and healthy. 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.839 Everyone's expectations and maybe even yours, was that, oh yeah, 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.440 I'm just going to sail through this. Was it like that? 0:06:56.600 --> 0:07:00.160 It was a little bit because I was still training, 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:05.320 so I really had a lot of confidence and I 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:09.040 had a lot of goal driven activities to do every 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:12.120 single day. I was really good with my time management. 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.400 I was really good with recovery, because you have to 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.200 be when you're an athlete. And I felt like I 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:22.120 did okay for a while until I wasn't. But the 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:26.120 first symptom that I had was extreme fatigue, like just 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:28.960 enormous amounts of fatigue. But I put it down to 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:31.280 all the training that I was doing, because not only 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:35.040 did I swim for twenty three years, culminating in three Olympics, 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.800 the last one as a mum with two little girls 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.320 at home. But I went into another sport for another 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:44.720 twenty years, So I just flogged myself for another twenty years. 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.000 But it was that passion and that purpose that I 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:52.560 had turning up and coaching my group of forty to 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:56.600 fifty women that gave me my energy. I really drew 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:58.760 a lot of energy from the people that I was 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:02.160 around at the time. But there were days when, you know, 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:04.920 I was exhausted, and there were days, I know my 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:10.720 ex husband would say, my god, you were a cranky, irritable, irrational, moody, sweaty, 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:16.080 teary bitch, which I was every fifth day before a period. 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:18.160 But I didn't know at the time. 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.200 I just hadn't connected the two idea that. 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:24.120 I hadn't seen the pattern. I hadn't seen that it 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:27.320 was happening every month because I didn't do period trackers 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:29.720 or mood trackers or anything like that back in the day. 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.080 You just you were how you were because no one 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:34.880 was talking about it. No one was no And I 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.400 remember my husband looking at me one day and I thought, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.480 oh my god, I can see that he thinks I'm 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:45.000 the devil. And I seriously thought that he could see 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.200 that in me. But I wasn't like that. I was 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:51.200 a pretty easy going, gold driven, happy go lucky person. 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:55.240 Really, did that make you look back at yourself with 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:59.360 shame or guilt? Like, were you also surprised where you 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.800 were like these rage words coming out of my mouth? 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.400 Or did you also see this is not who I am? 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:06.920 I having those moments. 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:09.440 Absolutely, I saw it, and he saw it because that 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:13.359 wasn't me. And now I know it was my hormones. 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:16.280 And you don't want to blame everything on your hormones. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.440 But your body is going through so many different changes 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.480 in every stage of life. And you know, if I 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:25.280 can jump to the end of this conversation, you know 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:28.880 what I would say is once you understand that it's 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:32.800 a natural transition, that it's biology, it's your body doing 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:36.320 what it's supposed to be doing at that time in life. 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.560 Once you understand that, then you can take a deep 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:41.720 breath and go, oh, okay, now I know what my 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:45.319 body's doing. But at that time I had no idea, 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:48.280 and I went I went to the doctor. I told 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.440 him all my symptoms, and I guess he thought he 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.960 was being pretty funny, but he wrote me out a 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.439 script for a maid and a mass arch. 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:58.160 So serious. 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:00.920 Yeah, because they didn't know it. I mean, we didn't 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:04.000 even talk about hairy menopause back in those days. I 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.360 actually remember my mum coming home. She used to work 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:08.960 at a doctor surgery, and she'd come home and say, oh, that, 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:11.319 you know, work made of mind. She's such a bit, 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:13.880 you know, she's this and she's that, and she's oh 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.360 you know, And I remember thinking, oh, she must be 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.080 an awful person. But she was probably menopause, all right. 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:21.840 And if you can, if you can imagine having six 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:25.240 or eight ladies working in the same work area and 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:28.360 all going through their symptoms at different times, and not 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:32.080 knowing and not understanding and not having empathy for each other, 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.920 you can imagine the friction that it could cause. But 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:37.760 I didn't know what it was, and I didn't have 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:39.760 a name for it. The doctor didn't have a name 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:40.160 for it. 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.839 So can I just say, like, you're young, we're not talking. 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:46.640 You know, I don't have this ancient person sitting here 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.520 going you're back in my day. We are talking. This 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:50.800 is not very long ago. 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:52.000 This is thirty years ago. 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:57.080 Yeah, But it's crazy to think that in our generation 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:01.120 and this generation we still have you know, at this stage, 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:03.559 I mean I heard the word perimenopause for the first 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.280 time I think six or seven years ago, and you 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:09.559 think of these huge generations of women that have come 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:11.680 before us that not only didn't have a name for it, 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:14.120 but also it was hushed and it was something not 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.000 to be spoken about, and you just were it up 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:19.280 with it to change. Yeah, you didn't go through menopause 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:22.400 thirty years ago. No perimenopause just kick you started. You're 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.239 talking about the beginning of your perimenopause. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.880 Yeah, yeah, So the media lump everything under one name. 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:30.640 They call everything menopause, and you have to understand that 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:36.240 there's years of transitions. So symptoms start to creep in 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.719 early and a thirty three year old is not going 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:42.960 to accept that they are in perimenopause. They certainly don't 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.600 want to think about that they're heading towards menopause because 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.160 they just think, no, I'm only thirty three, there's nothing. 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:51.640 You know, you're in the prime of your life. But 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:54.040 if you divide life up into three sections, you got 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:58.920 zero to thirty, thirty to sixty, sixty to ninety. So sorry, ladies, 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.280 but between thirty and six we can call that midlife. So 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.680 what happens in that stage is you know you're going 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:09.560 to go through these natural transitions. Some people breeze through it, 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.560 some people don't. Some people, you know, have a little 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.040 bit of everything, which was I think where I was. 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:18.000 So I didn't. I didn't have severe symptoms, although you 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:21.000 could my husband could ex husband could argue that, I 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:23.560 guess and I certainly didn't breeze through it. But the 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.360 biggest change that happened for me is that I met 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.880 my now business partner. I met him in nineteen ninety 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:32.040 six and random meeting with these guys that I was 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:35.680 telling them my symptoms. Why do you do that? I 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:37.600 didn't even know them when I was telling them my symptoms. 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:39.079 Love it, but they knew, they. 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:41.920 Knew Universe had something in mind to you. 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.240 So they knew Jeff. They said, you need to talk 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.160 to this guy. And that was back in nineteen ninety six, 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:50.720 and he actually diagnosed my daughter Jamie with chemical imbalance 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:54.680 when she was fifteen. So fast forward to now. My 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.680 now business partner's been a hormonal specialist for a long time, 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:01.400 but I had no idea. So I met him and 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:03.559 once he put a name to it, and back then 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:07.520 it was hormonal imbalance. I started to dig deeper into 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:10.800 what it was, what caused it, what can help, and 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.559 he really took me through all a nutritional side of it. 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:17.280 And here we are today with a beautiful business that 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:18.520 helps millions of ladies. 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.280 Oh and it's so wonderful. And I did your online 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:26.360 comprehensive assessment and I could just tell by the questions 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.600 that were asked, Oh, yeah, these guys know what they're doing. 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.800 Yeah, we do, and what they're talking about. It's funny 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.360 now because people saying, oh, we're just starting to talk 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:35.800 about it, well, you know, we've been talking about it 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.840 for about twelve years. And because we've had over a 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.800 million and a half ladies download the assessment, we have 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.439 a lot of data. Wow, a million and a half Yeah, lady, 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:48.439 that's more than twenty percent of the population who actually 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.400 are in perimenopause and menopause at the moment. So we 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.200 know what we're talking about. We absolutely do. And we 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.920 have a team of practitioners that talk to our ladies 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.199 every single day. We have one group that's got over 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:01.679 two hundred and three thousand women in one group, so 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:05.080 we're chatting to them every day, so we know our stuff. 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:09.400 So if you could go back to yourself, to Lisa 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:14.760 thirty twenty years ago in peak perimenopause, knowing what you 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:20.080 know now, what are a couple of strategies that you 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:22.840 would give her or words of wisdom that you would 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.440 give her considering what you know now. 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.520 Yeah, that's a good question because I was probably pretty 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:32.880 lucky because because of my sport, I didn't even get 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.000 a period until I was eighteen, So I was a 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.680 really late starter. Wow. And I was someone who never 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:42.440 really got heavy periods at all, and I was able 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:48.680 to maintain a lean body because of my training, So 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:49.960 I trained through. 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:53.360 So you were pulling a lot of the lifestyle leavers 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:57.080 that many of us have yet to pull. So I 0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.400 guess that's a good thing. During that period, your body 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.120 composition was right, because we know that if you are 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:06.600 carrying a lot of excess body fat, particularly around the middle, 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:11.160 that can you know, be very pro inflammatory, can drive 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.600 up you know, have estrogen dominance in some people. Okay, 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.840 so you're pulling those leaders, but you did say that 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.880 you were getting Yours was probably more around the mood 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:25.160 and the rage, and yeah, how learning thinking about what 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:29.040 you have learned going back, what would what advice would 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:33.000 you give to help smooth out those emotional bumps and 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:37.200 the mood for myself. Yeah, for anyone listening who's going, oh, yeah, 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:38.880 I'm right in that emotional role. 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.640 Yeah. Well, I mean there's a very simple answer to that, 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:44.720 to take happy hormones. I mean that it changed my life, 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:49.440 saved my life, it saved my sanity. And you know, 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.640 it doesn't work for everybody, but for the majority of 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:55.800 people it does. But Jeff's very good at formulating these supplements. 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.320 So I put my trust in him. Like I've only 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.120 had probably three coaches in my life, and he became 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:04.560 my life coach. Oh, because your coach is there for 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:06.720 a reason. And it's like back in the day, if 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.480 I and I did I want to go to the Olympics. 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.040 The Olympics are in ten or fifteen years. You don't 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.840 just go. There's so much planning. You have to surround 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:17.440 yourself with the right people. You have to do the 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:20.320 right things every single day. You have to action everything 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:22.600 to give yourself the opportunity to be able to go. 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:24.920 And it's the same with your health as well. I mean, 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:28.080 if you surround yourself with the right information, the right people. 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.760 You make a plan, you have a daily routine, you 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.920 take action. You can help get yourself to where you 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.040 want to go. But if you think you can just 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.960 wing it, or you can, but it might be like 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:43.560 a lifetime of neglect, and accumulated neglect can put you 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:44.600 in a very bad place. 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:46.760 Yeah, And that's why I like to liken it to 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.640 a storm season, because I think about a really seasoned 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:53.800 sailor who's out on beautiful, calm ocean sailing away and 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.120 then they get word that there's a storm on the horizon. 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:57.960 They're not just going to sit there and do nothing. 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:00.200 They're going to prepare themselves. They in a band, down 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:03.720 the hatches, do whatever so that when the storm arrives, 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:08.040 i e. The storm of perimenopause and midlife, you can, 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.080 you know, navigate that storm as best you can because 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.800 you're all prepared for it, and then hopefully when you 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.680 come out the other side, you're less battered and bruised. 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.960 That's right, the master stayed up, the cupboard doors haven't open, 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:23.000 and everything's billed out. I hear you say that. And 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:27.080 even if your preparation is being well informed, a little 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:28.720 bit like what you said at the start when you 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:32.919 said I didn't link my moods to my cycle, Like, 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:34.560 what a game change that would have been. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:38.040 Oh, I know, totally, and it could have saved my marriage. 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:39.640 I think that was I. 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:42.520 Was literally going to ask you, do you think your 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:46.280 breakup with your partner? How much do you think perimenopause 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:46.919 played into that? 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.640 Sadly? Probably a lot? 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:50.680 Wow. 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:54.639 Yeah, And I've actually written about that in my memoir 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.040 and it was probably the hardest chapter I had to 0:17:57.040 --> 0:18:00.879 write because we're still really good friends and you got 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:05.359 kids together. Yeah. Yeah, but at the time, you know, 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:09.600 just things start to annoy the crap bound of you. 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.760 It's like, oh my god, can't you just And it's like, 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.600 I know, there are days when you just think, I 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:18.040 don't even know why I'm married. I don't even know 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:19.960 why you exist. I don't know why I exist. I 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:22.720 don't even know why all this stuff happens. Why is 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:26.080 everything so hard? You know? And that's what perimanton paus 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.760 and menopause does to your brain cells. It's just everything 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:32.040 gets cluttered and confused and all over the shop, to 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:34.320 the point where you know, you don't even know if 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:37.080 your Arthur or Martha. That sounds like such my thing, 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:41.680 my mum would say after but you know, you lose yourself, 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:46.240 you lose your confidence, you lose your relationship, you lose 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.520 your love for the person that you you know that 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:49.960 you wanted to be in love with for the rest 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:52.639 of your life. And you know it's kind of not fair. 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:57.800 But I talk about the journey of a female, honoring 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:03.760 the female journey and how extraordinary females are, and when 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:06.960 you look at it from that outside perspective, every woman 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:12.040 is extraordinary. They really are. Yes, I mean they can 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:15.239 make a human being and then they care for that 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.800 human being, and then four human beings, and then a 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.760 husband and a job and everything else that they carry, 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:25.240 and they leave themselves last. They have this invisible load 0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:29.000 that's just drowning them every single day, but they're still 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:32.679 get up and keep going. And that resilience in every 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:35.720 single woman is just incredible. And I want women to 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:39.679 know that they are extraordinary. But like in athletics, you 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:43.840 have to have recovery. We can't make the Olympic final. 0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:46.680 If we keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing, you won't 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:51.760 make it. You're overwhelmed, overdone, overtired, burnt out. You won't 0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:54.560 make that Olympic final. So part of our training was 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:58.280 always recovery, mornings off, having a day off every now 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:01.399 and again. And I know, I know how hard it is. 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:04.639 My daughter has three little boys, and I know how 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.159 exhausted she is. And she said, Mum, just trying to 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:10.760 get twenty minutes to myself. You know, just can't do it. 0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:14.560 You are so right. And I feel like in this 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:17.960 storm season where we've got these hormonal shifts, but we 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:22.240 also have this incredible pressure and the emotional load that 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.359 we carry as well. And I've heard this saying I 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:27.360 feel like I am holding up the sky and that's 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:30.800 kind of to my story at the start. That's how 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.359 I feel a lot of the time, and how women 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:35.560 that I speak to peel if I even let go 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:38.199 for a second, the sky's going to fall in. You know, 0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:41.080 everything's going to collapse around me. And it's this pressure 0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:45.000 that we feel. Was that your experience as well? And 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:48.360 I think back to you know, your incredible life where 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:50.680 you were in the media, you were kicking all these 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:53.920 amazing goals, you're doing, You're going through all of this publicly, 0:20:54.040 --> 0:20:58.160 you're divorce in the papers, etc. Did you have that 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:02.119 same overwhelming feeling of holding up the sky at that time. 0:21:02.359 --> 0:21:06.240 Yeah, I liken that too. Juggling balls had so many 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:08.160 balls in the air, and you just get really good 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:11.400 at juggling ten balls and then someone else throws one 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:13.520 in it's eleven, and then twelve, and it's twenty and 0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:15.280 you drop a ball, and you know, all of. 0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:16.600 A sudden, thing collapses. 0:21:16.640 --> 0:21:19.760 It collapses, and I think at some point you've got 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:22.080 to just put them all down, put all the balls down, 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:24.600 and just go which ones do I really need to 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:27.639 juggle for this day, or for this week or for 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:30.679 this month? Are there things that can be left? But 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.399 you know, I'm the sort of person that loves a 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:36.639 clean house. I love my kitchen being tidy before I 0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:40.399 start cooking. I don't like, you know, clothes piling up 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:42.520 and all that sort of thing. So you know, I 0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:45.040 just sit the babies on the bench and fold the 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:47.199