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Speaker 1: We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: on which this podcast was produced, the Galligle people of

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Speaker 1: the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present.

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Speaker 1: This episode contains discussion of suicide. If this raises any

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Speaker 1: issues for you, support is available through the links and

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Speaker 1: phone numbers in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: It's twenty eleven and rising cricket star Kafkashell has just

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Speaker 2: received the phone call she's been working towards for years.

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Speaker 2: She'll represent her state of New South Wales in the

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Speaker 2: game she loves. She gets straight into an intensive training machine.

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Speaker 2: This is crunch time. A few weeks in, she loses

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Speaker 2: feeling in her glute and big toe. She pushes on,

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Speaker 2: mentioning it in passing during a routine physio appointment. She

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Speaker 2: quickly discovers that something more sinister awaits and Caff must

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Speaker 2: make a choice a band in her dream or keep pushing.

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Speaker 2: For Calf, it's a no brainer, but weeks later the

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Speaker 2: decision is made for her when she breaks her back

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Speaker 2: and is told she may never walk again. Twenty one

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Speaker 2: year old Calf defies the odds and is determined to

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Speaker 2: get her life back on track. Five years later, a

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Speaker 2: drunk driver loses control of his vehicle and plows into her.

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Speaker 2: She must learn to walk for a third time. At

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Speaker 2: rock bottom, kindness is the only thing that gets her through.

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Speaker 2: I'm Ad Middleton and this is Headgame Today, kaf Kashelle

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Speaker 2: on the power of kindness in the face of adversity.

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Speaker 2: An absolute pleasure to have you on my podcast head Game. Now.

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Speaker 2: You come from quite a big family, don't you. You're

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Speaker 2: the youngest of four kids. Was it competitive household? It

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Speaker 2: was a loving household? Did it get you know, ugly sometimes?

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Speaker 2: Was it competitive how or was it just a loving,

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Speaker 2: normal household and you all got on just fine.

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Speaker 3: I think like any family, there was always a little

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Speaker 3: bit of conflict and you know, rubbing each other up

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Speaker 3: the wrong way and all that kind of stuff. But

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Speaker 3: for the most part, Look, I had a very privileged childhood,

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Speaker 3: not in the way that we had money.

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Speaker 4: We didn't.

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Speaker 3: It was a single income for kids, you know, in

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Speaker 3: a house and home to feed, so we didn't have

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Speaker 3: much money growing up, but we had a lot of love.

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Speaker 4: Our parents were awesome people.

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Speaker 3: They were both hard workers and they always made sure

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Speaker 3: they provided for us. So cannot fault my childhood. I

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Speaker 3: was not academic by any stretch. I don't think we're

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Speaker 3: club yeah, I don't think we were competitive by any

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Speaker 3: any nature or anything like that. We each had our

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Speaker 3: own desires in what we wanted to pursue in life,

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Speaker 3: my brothers and I, and we're all very very different

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Speaker 3: people in that sense, the career that is very different

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Speaker 3: to most of my brothers. But I guess we're a

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Speaker 3: working class family. So you could never find me in

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Speaker 3: a classroom at school. Though. My teachers always used to say,

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Speaker 3: we hate to love you because you're a cheeky little shit,

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Speaker 3: but we loved your attitude towards life. We just wish

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Speaker 3: you'd be in the classroom a little bit more because

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Speaker 3: I was always just taken on sport. You know, if

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Speaker 3: it it wasn't cricket, then I'd be playing in soccer

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Speaker 3: or AFL or swimming or netball or something. I'd take

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Speaker 3: up whatever sporting opportunity I could, just to not be

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Speaker 3: in a classroom.

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Speaker 4: So that was a bit different to my brothers.

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Speaker 3: One hated school, one loved it, he was really academic,

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Speaker 3: and the other one was probably a mix of all

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Speaker 3: of that in between.

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Speaker 4: So I can't fault my childhood. That was unbelievably awesome.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And what was the main sport that was that

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Speaker 2: sort of dominated the household?

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Speaker 3: It was cricket. I think that I think I think

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Speaker 3: that come from Dad. So he dad grew up in

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Speaker 3: the bush, show did Mum. They both sort of come

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Speaker 3: to Sydney as young adults Matt and fell in love

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Speaker 3: had us, But we spent a lot of our back

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Speaker 3: where they're from in a place called Finley, so regional

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Speaker 3: New South Wales, right on the border between New South

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Speaker 3: Wales and Victoria, so not much going on in Finley,

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Speaker 3: and that's probably where the love of sport grew. Country

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Speaker 3: Australia is very prone to cricket, footy, that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 3: And as I said, the way that I fit in

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Speaker 3: with my brothers was by playing cricket. So because I

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Speaker 3: was probably playing against people much older, stronger, and you know,

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Speaker 3: more capable than what I was as a little girl

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Speaker 3: playing against boys in the backyard, it probably grew out

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Speaker 3: that skill a lot quicker than most girls. So when

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Speaker 3: we're in Sydney, i'd play in the local boys competitions

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Speaker 3: just so that it was easier on Mom and Dad

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Speaker 3: not having to take me to other parts of Sydney

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Speaker 3: and I could sort of be dropped off where my

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Speaker 3: brothers were and all those sorts of things as well.

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Speaker 3: So that was the main or the commonplace that my

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Speaker 3: brothers had was on the sporting field playing cricket, either

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Speaker 3: against each other or with each other or watching each

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Speaker 3: other do it because they were in different age categories

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Speaker 3: and so forth. So cricket dominated our house. Weren't playing

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Speaker 3: in the backyard. It was on the telly watching Australia

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Speaker 3: smash England.

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Speaker 4: And just for I did I absolutely did.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So it was unreal, unreal. I still love cricket

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Speaker 3: to this day, still follow it very closely and have

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Speaker 3: a great love for it.

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Speaker 2: When did you realize that you actually loved cricket and

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Speaker 2: that it was something that you were ultimately good at?

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Speaker 2: But when did you realize that the passion and love

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Speaker 2: for cricket and it was there moment you thought I'd

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Speaker 2: really want to do this as a career.

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Speaker 3: It was probably before right before my first actual competitive game.

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Speaker 3: My mom, you know, being one of four kids. My

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Speaker 3: mum and dad they always wanted four kids, but there

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Speaker 3: was a complication with my the brother above me's birth

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Speaker 3: and they sort of said, you're probably not wanting to

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Speaker 3: push your body to these lengths anymore. This might be it.

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Speaker 3: But they felt pregnant with me, and they absolutely stoked

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Speaker 3: to get a girl because I had three boys and

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Speaker 3: Mum always wanted to be a mother to a girl. So,

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Speaker 3: you know, from the age of four to eight, I

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Speaker 3: was registered in ballet and tap classes, which my mum

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Speaker 3: was very enthusiastic about, but me not so much. And

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Speaker 3: so when I would be dropped off on a Saturday

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Speaker 3: at the ballet studio, my brother's been getting dropped off

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Speaker 3: on the cricket field, and I kind of probably grew

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Speaker 3: the courage as a seven eight year old to say, look, Mum,

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Speaker 3: this isn't for me. I'm not into the two twos

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Speaker 3: and all those sorts of things. I'd really like to

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Speaker 3: try my hand at cricket. And I think that broke

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Speaker 3: her heart. She was very supportive, but broke her heart.

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Speaker 3: And Dad was kind of like, your beauty. He'd probably

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Speaker 3: seen a little bit of potential. He'd probably seen a

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Speaker 3: little bit of potential early on as I sort of

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Speaker 3: faced into my brothers and sort of got me out

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Speaker 3: onto the park against the other boys, and I was

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Speaker 3: able to hold my own so probably for the next

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Speaker 3: four years until I was about twelve when I made

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Speaker 3: my first REP team. That's when I started to take

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Speaker 3: a little bit more serious and go, okay, I'm not

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Speaker 3: too bad at this. And by fourteen I was making

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Speaker 3: new South Wales sides, you know, in the underage categories

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Speaker 3: of course, and that was probably when I really decided

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Speaker 3: that's what I want.

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Speaker 4: To pursue in life. I want to be a professional athlete.

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Speaker 4: I love cricket.

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Speaker 3: I loved eat and sleep and training any little thing

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Speaker 3: that I could do to give me that competitive advantage.

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Speaker 3: I was the hardest worker in the gym. I was

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Speaker 3: there the first, like I was there first, I was

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Speaker 3: last to leave, all those sorts of things. So you know,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't naturally gifted like the Elise Perry's and Alisa

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Speaker 3: Heales of the world, who you know are in my

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Speaker 3: sort of era and still playing and dominating and doing

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Speaker 3: very very well.

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Speaker 4: So I guess what I lacked.

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Speaker 3: In that natural ability, I just made up for with

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Speaker 3: hard work, written determination. So I just wanted it so

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Speaker 3: bad and absolutely loved it so still do.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and you got.

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Speaker 2: A called up in two thand and eleven to represent

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Speaker 2: New South Wales. Was it a moment that you remember

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Speaker 2: where you were when the call took place and if

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Speaker 2: you do, take me back to that moment.

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Speaker 3: So I was when I was nineteen. I'd fast strucked

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Speaker 3: my Uni degree. I did Sport and Exercise science and

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Speaker 3: I got a call. It was from London and they

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Speaker 3: said can you come over and play for Middlesex so

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Speaker 3: based out of Lords at the home of Cricket, so

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Speaker 3: to be from a tiny country, I was your town

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Speaker 3: and then go and across the other side of the world.

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Speaker 4: First time out of home playing out of Lords.

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Speaker 3: I'll never forget landing there in at Heathrow and a

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Speaker 3: teammate picked me up and she said, well, I'll quickly

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Speaker 3: take you home for a shower, you can drop your

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Speaker 3: bags off and then we're going to go train and

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Speaker 3: I was like cool, and I didn't really think much

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Speaker 3: of it. As we're driving towards training, I said, what's

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Speaker 3: home for training and she says, we're nearly there. I'll

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Speaker 3: show you in a second, and the gates to Lords

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Speaker 3: opened and I was like, you've got to be kidding me.

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Speaker 4: This is absolutely phenomenal.

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Speaker 3: So you know, got to play on the training field

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Speaker 3: next door to Lords in the inn, at the nets there, all.

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Speaker 4: Those sorts of things.

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Speaker 3: So that was a phenomenal experience and I spent two

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Speaker 3: years there sort of as their opening bat person. And

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Speaker 3: that's when the call come and they said, look, we've

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Speaker 3: been watching your progress. Can you jump on the next

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Speaker 3: flight home. We're ready to pick you for New South Wales.

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Speaker 3: So off I went back to Sydney and not long

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Speaker 3: after debuted for New South Wales, which was unbelievable. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: at the Adelaide Oval, I'll never forget it.

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Speaker 4: Probably my favorite ground Adelaide. I don't know why.

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Speaker 3: It's a really beautiful, kind of feels like a boutique

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Speaker 3: little ground, but there's something really warm about it and

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Speaker 3: a lot of people say that as well, not just me.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, unbelievable experience.

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Speaker 2: And what was what was women's cricket like back then?

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Speaker 2: Was there a big hype over it? How did you

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Speaker 2: feel that compared to the men's cricket at that stage?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was nowhere near the profile that it is

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Speaker 4: right now.

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Speaker 3: It was probably on the cusp we're about to sort

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Speaker 3: of get into more professional and competitive playing. But I'm

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Speaker 3: like I got injured just before the cusp of that

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Speaker 3: really taking off. So we're getting paid minimal amounts, you

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Speaker 3: still had to work to supplement your income back then.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I think that's simpletant because you know, not

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Speaker 2: only are you, you know, living your dream and you

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Speaker 2: know you've made this move, but you're having to supplement.

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Speaker 2: How hard was that to to supplement that, you know,

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Speaker 2: what you needed to have in order to focus on

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Speaker 2: your cricket.

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Speaker 3: It was just a lot of juggler. Not too dis

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Speaker 3: similar to my life now. I've got a pretty unique

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Speaker 3: career and I have to juggle a lot. But you

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Speaker 3: know it was, I mean, prior to moving to the

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Speaker 3: UK to play, it was you know, you'd get up,

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Speaker 3: go to UNI, work a part time job. I was

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Speaker 3: doing personal training on the side, go to training after that,

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Speaker 3: get home quickly, eat, you know, nourish yourself, sleep, get up,

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Speaker 3: do it all over again, play games on the weekend.

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Speaker 4: You never got a moment spare. So if you weren't sort.

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Speaker 3: Of traveling doing it, you were working, you were studying,

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Speaker 3: you were doing something. So it's probably a good recipe

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Speaker 3: for success and a lesson in hard work because you

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Speaker 3: had to do it all and you had to know

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Speaker 3: how to do it all, and you had to learn

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Speaker 3: how to do it all, so it didn't bother me.

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Speaker 3: I think it really meant that we're playing for the

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Speaker 3: right reasons as well. You know, it was a love

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Speaker 3: of the game, which I'm really proud of, to be honest, and.

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Speaker 4: Yeah it was.

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Speaker 3: It was difficult, but life's difficult not to juggle. So

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Speaker 3: no complaints whatsoever.

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Speaker 2: You started juggling an injury, didn't you. You're juggling a

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Speaker 2: million things and all of a sudden you break your back.

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Speaker 2: Take me back to the symptoms leading up to that,

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Speaker 2: and also you know when that accident actually happened or

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Speaker 2: that incident happened.

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Speaker 3: So, as I said, I was a workhoss in the gym,

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Speaker 3: So I was a hard trainer, and I'd been pushing

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Speaker 3: my body to the limits up until that point as well.

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Speaker 4: I was in the form of my life.

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Speaker 3: I was seeing the ball like a watermelon, just turning

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Speaker 3: up most weekends and during the week as well.

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Speaker 4: And we had a.

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Speaker 3: Bit of a tournament coming up, and I kind of

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Speaker 3: just I had a lot of psiatic nerve pain through

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Speaker 3: my left glute, and then I noticed that my left

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Speaker 3: big toad started to feel numb, and I thought, this

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Speaker 3: is a bit different. And I didn't really know much

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Speaker 3: about those kinds of injuries, like nerve injuries back then,

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Speaker 3: and so I thought I'd better go and see the physio.

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Speaker 4: And that was rare for me to do.

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Speaker 3: I didn't really regularly check in to the physio and

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Speaker 3: sit on the physio's table. And I'd made an appointment

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Speaker 3: and she said, Kath, what are you doing. It's not

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Speaker 3: often I see you here. And I said, look, I've

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Speaker 3: noticed some symptoms. I can't feel my left big toe

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Speaker 3: and I've got some nerve pain in my left glute.

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Speaker 4: And she said, cool, jump on the bed. And you

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Speaker 4: know what sporting change rooms are like.

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Speaker 3: There's not a lot of privacy in them, so you

259
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Speaker 3: know there's people getting strapped, and you know, ointment getting

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Speaker 3: displayed everywhere and all those sorts of things. And I

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Speaker 3: was like, what do you mean you can't feel your

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Speaker 3: left big toe And I said, I don't know, I

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Speaker 3: just I can't feel it.

264
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Speaker 4: It's just sort of lost. It's gone quite numb.

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Speaker 3: And she sort of fiddled around and did a few

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Speaker 3: tests and she said, look, no training tonight. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to send you for scans first thing in the morning.

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Speaker 3: I thought, okay, I didn't think much of it. So

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Speaker 3: I went and got the scans. And I knew the

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Speaker 3: radiologists quite well, just because I'd worked in sport as

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Speaker 3: well and I'd had to take other athletes up to

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Speaker 3: get scans and things like that, and so his name

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Speaker 3: was Trader, and I'll never forgetting giving me the scans.

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Speaker 3: It just had this really worried look. And I said,

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Speaker 3: what's going on? He said, I'm not allowed to say.

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Speaker 3: And I said, is it serious? He said, it's pretty serious, Kath,

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Speaker 3: get them straight down to the doctor. So I said, okay.

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Speaker 3: So I took him down doc Orch and it was

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Speaker 3: at the SCG and there's a medical room there and

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Speaker 3: he had all my scans, you know, on those the

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Speaker 3: lit up kind of screens, and I obviously didn't know

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Speaker 3: what I was looking at. And he said, Kath, it's

283
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Speaker 3: quite concerning. You've got a pretty significantly prolapsed disc in

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Speaker 3: your lower spine at the L five S one level.

285
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Speaker 4: And I said okay.

286
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Speaker 3: And next minute Brett Lee burst through the door and

287
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Speaker 3: he hadn't hadn't organized an appointment, but need an injection

288
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Speaker 3: for a tour is about to embark on overseas and

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Speaker 3: he had to look at my scans and had had

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Speaker 3: some back issues too, and he said, whoa, that's that's

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Speaker 3: a pretty slip disc there, and he said, who's these

292
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Speaker 3: to the dock and he said they're casts, you know,

293
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Speaker 3: introduced us and he said, look, Kath, we're not going

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Speaker 3: to rule you out of the next couple of games.

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Speaker 4: It's your choice.

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Speaker 3: We do want to want you to know that there's

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Speaker 3: risks associated with you playing, but it's your choice if

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Speaker 3: you want to play or not. And due to I

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Speaker 3: guess the fact that I'd never played for New South

300
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Speaker 3: Wales up until that point and the fact that I

301
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Speaker 3: was in the form of my life, I was absolutely

302
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Speaker 3: going to choose to play. But what unfolded next was

303
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Speaker 3: probably a combination of you know, potentially twenty things that

304
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,280
Speaker 3: could have gone wrong going wrong went wrong, and it

305
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,000
Speaker 3: led to me ultimately breaking my back and being diagnosed

306
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Speaker 3: as a paraplegic, which was which is pretty pretty big

307
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Speaker 3: news as you can imagine.

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Speaker 2: Obviously, your mindset is your workhourse, you're keen as hell.

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Speaker 2: You know you want to play cricket, so you don't

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Speaker 2: ignore it. But you're just a case of right, I'm

311
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Speaker 2: just going to crack on. Is that was that the

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Speaker 2: mindset that you had. I'm just going to crack on

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Speaker 2: and see how it goes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Absolutely.

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Speaker 3: I guess the pain and the symptoms I was experiencing

316
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,400
Speaker 3: were probably a little bit duller than what they would

317
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,960
Speaker 3: have been if I wasn't as excited at the opportunity

318
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Speaker 3: ahead of me, and I'd spent the entire entirety of

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Speaker 3: my life being obsessed with the game. I don't know

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Speaker 3: so many people really that would throw away that opportunity

321
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Speaker 3: if given the chance. And so I worked with the physio,

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00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 3: like we tried things like we had a guided double

323
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:04,440
Speaker 3: co zone injection in my spine, which actually potentially could

324
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,040
Speaker 3: have played into the reason that my back broke In

325
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Speaker 3: the end, weakened the muscles on either side of my spine.

326
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Speaker 4: So there's a lot of things.

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Speaker 3: As I said, we don't know exactly what led to

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Speaker 3: the back breaking, but it was pretty traumatic.

329
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Speaker 4: So to describe.

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Speaker 3: What happened, I was fielding in cover, so I debuted

331
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,920
Speaker 3: and I scored fifty seven. It was a player of

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00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,560
Speaker 3: the match performance. It felt euphoric, like I'd done it.

333
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,520
Speaker 3: I was going to retain my spot. It was amazing,

334
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 3: but it was four games later that it was a

335
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,120
Speaker 3: bit of a non event. I was fielding in cover

336
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,360
Speaker 3: and the ball got hit that's kind of in between

337
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 3: the batter and the ball off anyone who doesn't know

338
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,520
Speaker 3: cricket very well. And the ball got hit past me

339
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,760
Speaker 3: very quickly and it raced off to the boundary for

340
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Speaker 3: four and I thought, oh, conserve some energy and you know,

341
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,600
Speaker 3: turn around and run and get the ball and throw

342
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,040
Speaker 3: it back in.

343
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Speaker 4: But it was a non event. Nothing was going on.

344
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Speaker 3: And as I twisted to my left to turn and chase,

345
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,160
Speaker 3: the disc came out so quickly that the two vertebrae

346
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,600
Speaker 3: had nowhere to go, and they just went crack onto

347
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 3: each other so significantly that part of the bottom vertebrae

348
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,720
Speaker 3: cracked off and went straight into my spinal cord. And

349
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Speaker 3: that's what left me with zero feeling below the waist.

350
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Speaker 3: And I've never been shot, but it felt like I'd

351
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 3: been shot.

352
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Speaker 4: That's the only way that I can describe it.

353
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Speaker 3: It took my breath away, the pain it was immediately

354
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,480
Speaker 3: shot through my body, and then it was just a

355
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,160
Speaker 3: blur of you know, medical treatment getting me to a

356
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,600
Speaker 3: hospital as soon as I could, and then going through

357
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Speaker 3: about five separate surgeries, unsuccessful surgeries, one after the other.

358
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Speaker 4: You'd wake up from yeah anesthesia and it was like,

359
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 4: sorry's still no feeling. We'd go back to the drawing board.

360
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Speaker 3: And most doctors had sort of given up hope on

361
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,840
Speaker 3: the possibility of me ever walking again after that injury.

362
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:49,480
Speaker 3: So I was lucky in a way that there was

363
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 3: a surgeon who was just starting to make headway here

364
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,800
Speaker 3: in Australia, based out of the Gold Coast.

365
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 4: He was the only one doing this kind.

366
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 3: Of surgery, which is called a total disc replacement, so

367
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 3: he'd done all of his training in the US. And

368
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 3: my doctor sent my scans off and said, do you

369
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 3: think we can help cath out here. She's very fit

370
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 3: and agile, and you know, has had a pretty remarkable

371
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,439
Speaker 3: career to date and we'd like to be able to

372
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 3: keep it that way.

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Speaker 4: But at the moment it's we're looking at paraplegia.

374
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,199
Speaker 3: And so that doctor had to look at the scans

375
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,439
Speaker 3: and said, there's no guarantees here, but I'll give it

376
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Speaker 3: a shot.

377
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 2: You hit the deck and you can't feel your legs

378
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 2: when you sort of come to, you know, when the

379
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 2: shock wears off. What's going through your head? Did you

380
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 2: do you think I'm just paralyzed for life.

381
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Speaker 3: I'd actually love to chat to you about this because

382
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Speaker 3: this was the start of a series of about ten

383
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,800
Speaker 3: very unfortunate events that I had to face into over

384
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 3: the period at about five or six years. And I

385
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,400
Speaker 3: kind of felt like when all this stuff was happening,

386
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,360
Speaker 3: there was never a time that I ever said this

387
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 3: is it, Like this is the end, I'm never going

388
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,479
Speaker 3: to walk again. It felt like there was always going

389
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 3: to be It just never felt like that was going

390
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 3: to be my reality. And I'd love to pick your

391
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,240
Speaker 3: brains actually on, you know, when we look and face

392
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 3: into I've just spent a week with some of the

393
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 3: most resilient people I've ever met, and there was a

394
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 3: common theme throughout all of those people, and it was

395
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,160
Speaker 3: a determination to want better, to never stop, to keep

396
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:30,080
Speaker 3: cracking on. But also I guess, in some ways a

397
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 3: very innocent optimism about them that allowed them to be

398
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 3: in the right frame of mind to go this isn't

399
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 3: my life, Like I'm gonna do whatever I can, whatever

400
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 3: is within my power to create a better life for myself.

401
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,120
Speaker 4: And I don't know.

402
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: If I was feeling or experiencing that in that moment.

403
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,720
Speaker 3: It was a bit of a blur, but because it

404
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:53,639
Speaker 3: kept like it was honestly, you'd go into surgery and

405
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,960
Speaker 3: you'd spend five hours under the knife, and then you've got,

406
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,160
Speaker 3: you know, two hours coming out of anesthesia, and then

407
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,760
Speaker 3: that's all blurry after you come out of the anesthesia

408
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 3: and they go, you know, still no feeling, mate, but

409
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,919
Speaker 3: we're going to go back to the drawing board and

410
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 3: have another crack. And I think I just it was

411
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 3: very innocent and potentially naive.

412
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 4: I was just a kid.

413
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 3: I was twenty one when all this happened. I just

414
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 3: never believe that was a life for me. And I've

415
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 3: broken my back more than once now, and the second

416
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 3: time was way worse than the first time, if that's believable.

417
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 4: At this point in the podcast, and.

418
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 3: Even then, there was not one person on the planet

419
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,400
Speaker 3: that said that I would walk again, and I walked

420
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 3: into this studio.

421
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 4: I can't feel one of my legs, but I still

422
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 4: do it.

423
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 3: So it's an interesting thing to think about, and a

424
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 3: lot of people will often contact me and say, well,

425
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 3: how could I possibly be as resilient as you? And

426
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,719
Speaker 3: I don't know the answer for them. I know what

427
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 3: works for me. I know what makes me tick. And

428
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 3: I always sort of say to people, you don't know

429
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,120
Speaker 3: what you're capable of until you have to be capable

430
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: of it.

431
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,480
Speaker 2: Until you're forced into that situation, until you're left with

432
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 2: one option.

433
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 4: I remember being in rehab learning how to walk again.

434
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 3: I spent twelve months there, and God, it was horrible

435
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 3: because they're just not conducive to thriving those environments. And

436
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 3: I remember people with a far greater prognosis, a far

437
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 3: better prognosis than I have, saying to me, God, you're lucky.

438
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 4: What makes me lucky?

439
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 3: And they'd say, well, you're walking, and you had a

440
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 3: worse prognosis. And I'd often look at them and say, yeah,

441
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: that's because I'm getting up and I'm trying.

442
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 4: I'm failing every day, but I'm fining away.

443
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 3: And I get that when you've got a prognosis as

444
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 3: severe as what they did, it's easy to fall into

445
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,159
Speaker 3: a deep, dark hole of depression and.

446
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 4: Sitting in that mentality of.

447
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 3: I just wish this wasn't my life, But sitting around

448
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,120
Speaker 3: and moping about it is not going to do anything.

449
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,119
Speaker 4: And I have empathy for it.

450
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 3: I do, And I don't want to sound like a

451
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: hard ass, you know, kind of person or anything like that,

452
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,199
Speaker 3: because I genuinely feel a lot of empathy for those people.

453
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 3: But the difference between me and then was that I

454
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,959
Speaker 3: was getting up just finding a way every day. And

455
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 3: I think that's an interesting thing to think into and

456
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 3: forgive yourself one option, or if there's always two choices

457
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 3: in any situation, choose the path that's going to light

458
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 3: you up a little bit more.

459
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 4: If that's learning how to walk again, or lose weight

460
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 4: or climbing.

461
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 3: A mountain or whatever your goal is, just find a way,

462
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 3: have a crack, look at the choices in front of you,

463
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 3: and figure out what the best one is for you.

464
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 4: And for me in those moments, it was I'm going

465
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 4: to get up.

466
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to

467
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 3: give it a go, and if that leads to the

468
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 3: outcome of me walking again, then fantastic.

469
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,199
Speaker 4: If it doesn't, at least I had a shot. So

470
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 4: I guess that's the way I looked at it.

471
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, basically, you're hard ass. When's the first time

472
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 2: that you start to fill your legs? And what was

473
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 2: that moment like did it ignite a further belief of

474
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: I'm going to walk again?

475
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 3: So what happened was I ended up going to the

476
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 3: Gold Coast to have this surgeon. It's a sixth one.

477
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 3: I had caught a total disc replacement. The first five

478
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 3: they cut through your back, as you can imagine with

479
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 3: a spinal cord and spinal injury. With this one, they

480
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 3: cut through your stomach, so they shift your vital organs

481
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 3: aside and the access your spine that way, and they

482
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 3: put titanium reinforcement on the vertebrate and then there's like

483
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 3: a ball and socket joint in there. So I had

484
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: that surgery. I'd to lie there for two weeks straight

485
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 3: after the surgery, completely intraction, unable to move. They said,

486
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 3: don't move a millimeter. It could be the difference between

487
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 3: you walking again or not. And so I think that's

488
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 3: when the head noise starts because you've got too much

489
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 3: time on your hands, and so you're like shit, I

490
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 3: mean a lot of pain.

491
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 4: There's a lot of drugs gone through my system. I

492
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 4: can't think clearly.

493
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 3: Am I ever going to take the steps that they're

494
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 3: saying might be a slight possibility. But two weeks later,

495
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 3: I got out of bed and I'd started to regain

496
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 3: some feeling in both of my legs, and they said,

497
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 3: today's day, you're going to take your first steps. It

498
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 3: took me ninety minutes to take two steps, but I

499
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 3: got it done. And the day after that I took

500
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 3: four steps, and the day after that I took eight.

501
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 3: And my journey into learning how to walk again had

502
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: begun right there on the Gold Coast.

503
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 4: So they said, you're not allowed to fly for.

504
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 3: Six weeks just due to the injury and the wounds

505
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 3: needing to heal and things like that. So I spent

506
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 3: six weeks there in rehab on the Gold Coast and

507
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 3: then come back to Sydney and continue the process here

508
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:02,639
Speaker 3: in Sydney. But basically, one day, not long after I

509
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 3: got back from the Gold Coast, I was due to

510
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 3: be at rehab one morning. It was about five o'clock

511
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 3: in the morning and I was lying in my bed

512
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 3: and I thought, well, I can't really feel my left

513
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 3: leg again.

514
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 4: Something's going on here.

515
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 3: And I thought I must have slept on it in

516
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 3: a strange position or something like that. So I shifted

517
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 3: myself in bed to the best I could as best

518
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 3: I could and nothing come back, but I'll never forget.

519
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 3: I remember flicking on my bedside table light, looking underneath

520
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 3: the covers, and my entire left leg was blue, like

521
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 3: a bruised sort of color.

522
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 4: I thought, Jesus, isn't good.

523
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 3: So I'm a pretty stubborn person, and I think because

524
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 3: of my childhood and having three older brothers, I used

525
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 3: to struggle a lot to ask for help, and so

526
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 3: remember getting up to try and get to the bathroom,

527
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 3: and because I couldn't feel this leg again, I just

528
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 3: face planted onto the floor. Everything had sort of been lost,

529
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 3: like I lost all control, was really heavy and dead.

530
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 3: I crawled myself to the bathroom, and it was there

531
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: that I realized that I had no idea if I

532
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 3: was using the bathroom. So my surgeon he'd give me

533
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,199
Speaker 3: one warning. He said, there's one thing I needed to

534
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 3: keep an eye on throughout this process. If your bladder

535
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 3: or bow shuts down with a spinal cord injury that's

536
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 3: life threatening, you need to get straight to.

537
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 4: An emergency room.

538
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 3: So I didn't want to wock around, knowing it could

539
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 3: be quite serious. I crawled myself past my flatmate's bedroom,

540
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 3: not once asking for help. I got myself into an

541
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 3: automatic vehicle with a working right leg. I started driving

542
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 3: myself where I was supposed to be that morning in rehab,

543
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 3: and on the way there, I called my doctor and

544
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 3: he picked up at five in the morning and I

545
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 3: told him what was going on. He said, cath Bypass Rehab,

546
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 3: meet me straight at RPA Role Prince Alfred in Sydney.

547
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: So I get to RPA and I parked my current

548
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 3: the emergency but I crawled myself in and triage nurse.

549
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,400
Speaker 3: She took one look at me and she said, man,

550
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 3: what on earth are you doing here? And I said, look,

551
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 3: this is how I woke up this morning, and this

552
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 3: is what the last six weeks of my life have

553
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 3: looked like. So she picked me up and pushed me

554
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 3: into a consult room. And it's got glass all the

555
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 3: way around it. I can see how they can see.

556
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 3: And doctors start running in like sign it was a

557
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,919
Speaker 3: big deal. And they start pinning up my leg, measuring it,

558
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 3: testing it, reading it, and it's about half a day's

559
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 3: worth of testing later, and they came in or there

560
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 3: was six doctors met outside my room. I knew they

561
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 3: were talking about me because they kept pointing in and

562
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 3: touching their legs. But every time I try on lip

563
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 3: read what one of them was saying, they'd look away

564
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 3: from me real quick. So I was like, oh, this

565
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 3: is not great. If they're looking away and they can't

566
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 3: hold my eyes, it's not good. So I'll never forget it.

567
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 3: There was one doctor, my doctor, who walked in and

568
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: he just said, mate, I'm so sorry to let you

569
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 3: know this, but we're going to amputate your leg. And

570
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 3: I just went, WHOA, what do you mean? And he said,

571
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 3: We've done all the tests we can think to do.

572
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 3: There's not enough blood getting into your leg. That's why

573
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 3: it's turned blue and it feels really heavy and lifeless.

574
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 3: We think this is the best possible course of action.

575
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 3: And I said, well, that's okay, that's okay for you

576
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 3: to think that, But no one ever told me that

577
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 3: this was a risk that I needed to think about,

578
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 3: like what can I do to keep it attached?

579
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 4: I said, all right, well, here's the deal.

580
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to have it tested every single morning

581
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 3: for the next two weeks. If you can get enough

582
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 3: blood flow into it, we think we can work with that.

583
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 4: And I said, well, paint a picture for me. Here guys.

584
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 3: And they said, all right, anyone with normal healthy legs

585
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 3: depend on whether they're sitting, running, walking, crawling, whatever.

586
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 4: It is that they're doing.

587
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 3: They've got a normal blood pressure reading anywhere between ninety

588
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 3: and one hundred percent. Anything below twenty percent is diet

589
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 3: and anything below ten percent is dead. And they said

590
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 3: you're at seven percent. I said, so it's dead and

591
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 3: they said, look, it's fluctuating between seven and fourteen. I said,

592
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 3: that's hope. We can work with that. So the next

593
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 3: two weeks in my life they look like this. I'd

594
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 3: get up at about four in the morning. I't have viitdebreki.

595
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 3: I'll go to hospital get it tested. If I got

596
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 3: the all clear, because I said I needed to get

597
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 3: it up above twenty to keep it attached. But if

598
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 3: it dropped below ten, again, it's gone on the spot,

599
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 3: they said, So I'll get the all clear if it

600
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 3: was above ten, obviously, and then I'd get to work.

601
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 3: I had those Canadian crutches, the ones that wrap around

602
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 3: your forearms, and they said to me, it's a blood

603
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 3: flow issue, so exercises your best friend here. You need

604
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 3: to pump as much blood into that leg as you can,

605
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 3: but to paint a picture. I would hop on my

606
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 3: right leg with those Canadian crutches on my left, just

607
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 3: drag about a half meter behind me, like my shoes

608
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 3: would get worn down. It was really confronting stuff to

609
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,719
Speaker 3: look at. So I'd use the help of the doctors

610
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 3: in that hospital room. And then I'd go home and

611
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 3: i'd have a bit more brecky to to say myself,

612
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 3: and then i'd go to the local gym. Personal trainer

613
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 3: was helping me, just to assist me get into machines

614
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 3: and stuff. I'd go back home, I'd have lunch, I'd

615
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 3: go back to the gym. My family and friends were

616
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 3: helping me. I'd go back home and I'd try and

617
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 3: sleep after eating.

618
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 4: But I don't reckon.

619
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 3: I need to tell many people how hard sleep is

620
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 3: to come by when you're stressed out. It was impossible

621
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,679
Speaker 3: for me during that two week period. So I got

622
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 3: sick of tossing and turning in bed. And I had

623
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 3: a twenty four hour access pass to the Sydney Cricket

624
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: Ground the SCG. I drove myself into the cricket ground

625
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 3: one night. It was two o'clock in the morning and

626
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 3: I crutched myself from the empty car park into the

627
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 3: gym of the SCG. I turned the lights on and

628
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 3: security guards come rushing and in, thinking I was an

629
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 3: intruder because I was absolutely not supposed to be there.

630
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 3: And they got to the gate and they said, Cath,

631
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 3: what on earth are you doing. It's two o'clock in

632
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 3: the morning.

633
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 4: And I said, I know.

634
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 3: I said, but here's the challenger got ahead of me

635
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 3: and rather than kicking me out, Bobby, he was in

636
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 3: his eighties, he was always.

637
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 4: On that night shift.

638
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 3: He went back to his post and he come back

639
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 3: about five minutes later, and he was holding a roll

640
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 3: of electrical tape.

641
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: What's it doing here?

642
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 3: And he said, look, Cath, I'm not a doctor or

643
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 3: a medical expert, but why don't I help you into

644
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,239
Speaker 3: the spin bike. I'll strap your leg in there with

645
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: the electrical tape so it doesn't fall out. I've got

646
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 3: to go back and man the TVs. If you need me,

647
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 3: you can call me. I'll come back in forty five minutes.

648
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 3: I'll unstrap your leg and I'll help you into whatever

649
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 3: machine you need to get into. And I realized something

650
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: pretty profound for the first time in my life. One

651
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 3: that we can't do everything alone. Like, we need help

652
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 3: sometimes and it's okay to have that help. But two,

653
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 3: Bobby was absolutely right. He wasn't a doctor or a

654
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 3: medical expert. Bobby was simply a man who cared, and

655
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: he saw a person that he needed. He knew he

656
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 3: had the power and the means to be able to

657
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 3: help me, and he did. And I thought to myself,

658
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 3: if I keep this leg attached on light, I'm going

659
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 3: to pay forward the kindness this man just afforded me,

660
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 3: because in that.

661
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 4: Moment, when I felt alone, vulnerable.

662
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 3: Lost and afraid, his actions, which were very small, meant

663
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 3: the absolute world to me. And I knew that I'd

664
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 3: be okay regardless of what happened. So it was probably

665
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 3: the catalyst for the rest of my life turning into

666
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 3: what it is today and the movement that I've created

667
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 3: with Kindness Factory. But I'll progress the story with a leg.

668
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 3: People might be wondering, is it real? All that kind

669
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 3: of stuff. I got to deadline and I couldn't get

670
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 3: the pressure back up. They said, so it's got to go,

671
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 3: and I was okay with that. So I'm I'd try

672
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 3: my very best to keep it attached. And I don't

673
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 3: really remember much about this story. My dad tells it

674
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 3: pretty well. I woke up one morning, the night before

675
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: I was due to be amputated. I was staying at

676
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 3: mom and Dads. They were going to take me in

677
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 3: for that surgery, and I woke up at about two

678
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 3: o'clock in the morning feeling pretty crook. I went to

679
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: get a glass of water and I collapsed unconsciously onto

680
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 3: the floor.

681
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 4: Dad had the thought that woke him up.

682
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 3: He picked me up, put me to put me in

683
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 3: the car, and took me to the nearest hospital at

684
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 3: Saint George, and they did an entire body scin and

685
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: realized I was bleeding internally from that stomach wound I

686
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 3: mentioned earlier. What happened was in closing up that wound,

687
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: the surgeon, of course, very accidentally but very slightly, nicked

688
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 3: the femeral arterie that run into my leg. You are

689
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: choking me, Yeah, So, because I had extensive nerve damage

690
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 3: and a limited supply blood now due to that accident,

691
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 3: it simply meant that the limited supply blood.

692
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 4: It wouldn't carry into that damage nerve system.

693
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 3: So I was raised off for more emergency surgery, and

694
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 3: you know, three or four hours later, as anesthesia is

695
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 3: wearing off. I start feeling around like, is my leg attached?

696
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 3: The doctors could see the stress I was under, and

697
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 3: they come rushing on over. They said, yes, mate, that

698
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,719
Speaker 3: is your real leg, but you are very unhealthy and

699
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 3: you're not out.

700
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 4: Of the woods yet.

701
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 3: If you want to keep your leg attached, and if

702
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 3: you ever want the chance at walking again, after rehab

703
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 3: you go twelve months of it. No guarantee you've got

704
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 3: a leg or that you're walking at the end of it,

705
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 3: but that's the only place for you right now. It's

706
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 3: too unsafe for you for you to go home. So

707
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 3: after rehab I went so cap.

708
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 2: This time that you're you know, you're cycling in the

709
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 2: gym and you're trying to get the blood flow to

710
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 2: your leg to keep it. You're bleeding internally. So what

711
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 2: do they do they did? They mend that heal that

712
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 2: and say, look, you've got one more chance. Twelve months

713
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: off you go and we take it from there.

714
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 3: Pretty much. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. They fixed the

715
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 3: bleed and then they set off to rehab.

716
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: You go.

717
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 4: So I rehab was easily the toughest place.

718
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,959
Speaker 3: I've ever been to, just because it's it's a tricky

719
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 3: spot because it it feels like it's a step down

720
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 3: from hospital in terms of the facilities. Maybe, but then

721
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 3: also there's a lot of people doing it tough in there,

722
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 3: and so it's not you know, you become your environment

723
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 3: in some ways, so it's hard to stay upbeat and

724
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 3: optimistic when you're around that many sick people. And I'll

725
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 3: never forget day six a rehab. I was absolutely battling

726
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 3: with my environment, my injuries, and I didn't really know

727
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 3: what to do, and I ended up calling my best

728
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: mate just for a bit of advice and help, and

729
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 3: I said, look, I don't think I can do this.

730
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: Can you come and pick me up? If my leg

731
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: goes then so be it. I can live without a leg.

732
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 3: I just don't think I've got this in me for

733
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 3: the next twelve months. And it's probably the first time

734
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: that I accepted the reality of my situation and probably

735
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 3: failed a little bit in that optimism perspective. But I'll

736
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 3: never forget what she said to me, because it was

737
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 3: tough love. And I think it's a difference between being

738
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 3: nice to someone and between being kind to them. She said,

739
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 3: I won't come and pick you up from rehabe cath

740
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 3: because I know that that will be to the detrimental health.

741
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,479
Speaker 4: What I will do is, I'll promise you this.

742
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 3: If you call me at any other day, I'll promise

743
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 3: you I'll answer that phone and I'll come in and

744
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 3: I'll hold your hand if I have to.

745
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 4: But we'll take these steps together and we'll get it done.

746
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 3: And I'll never forget that, because sometimes in life we

747
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: need to show up for people in that way. We

748
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 3: can't just cuddle them through it and appease them and

749
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 3: enable them. We need to actually give them the tough

750
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 3: love they need to hear to be able to progress

751
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 3: into what they need to do to get it done.

752
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 2: And that's a difficult decision to make, you know, especially

753
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 2: someone that's seeing you suffer. The easy option is just

754
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 2: to you know, go let's just cut it off and

755
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 2: you know, just you know, stop the suffering as such. Yeah,

756
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 2: but yeah, that's a true friend for someone to step

757
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: up like that and go, do you know what? No, no, no, no,

758
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 2: because she knows ultimately that you're having a wobble, you're

759
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: having a bad day, because you know, she knows you

760
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: like you know yourself, you know, and this isn't this

761
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 2: isn't the calf that I know, and so no, I'm

762
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 2: not going to come and pick you up. I'm not

763
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 2: gonna you know, we're not going to quit. We're not

764
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 2: going to end this right here. We're going to exhaust

765
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 2: every single option. That must have felt so good to hear.

766
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 3: I think, you know, it was absolutely amazing because I

767
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 3: was battling before this phone call, but then it kind

768
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 3: of lit a fire in my belly and I just said, right,

769
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 3: I'm here for the next twelve months. I either have

770
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: a crack and I get what I can out of

771
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 3: this experience, or I sit down and be sad about it.

772
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 3: And so I just put myself to task learn and

773
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 3: learning how to walk again. When everyone's telling you it's

774
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 3: pretty impossible. That's a pretty big challenge. But I think,

775
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 3: like any challenge, if you break it down into small,

776
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 3: bite sized chunks, it'll become a lot more manageable. So

777
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 3: my plan was, I'll go from bed to chair, chair

778
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 3: to frame, frame to stick, sticks to stick. If I've

779
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 3: got a crawl, i will, but I'll make sure that

780
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:19,959
Speaker 3: I keep moving and every day I'd get incrementally better.

781
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 3: And I just had to keep showing up and every

782
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 3: day that I continued to show up, which was every day,

783
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 3: I did get a little bit better, and feelings started

784
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:31,320
Speaker 3: to regain and movement became a bit easier. But rehab

785
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 3: became a lot easier for me by way of meeting

786
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 3: the love of my life about four weeks into my stay.

787
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 3: So rehab's a pretty lonely place, and until found romance

788
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 3: in rehab was not something I read.

789
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,280
Speaker 4: I will tell you the story.

790
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: It's the furthest thing from grace for you've ever heard

791
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 3: in terms of how people how two people have met.

792
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 3: But I was in hydra. I was in the pool

793
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 3: and you know those noodle things. I've got to sort

794
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 3: of zios behind me and all that, and they said

795
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 3: sessions done, and I say, okay. So I'm gracefully, not

796
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 3: very gracefully at all, trying to pull myself out at

797
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 3: the pool and I've kind of cocked one leg up

798
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 3: the one that I can feel, onto the thing, and

799
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 3: I'm dragging this out of myself out of this water.

800
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 3: As I look up, there's someone going on their orientation

801
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 3: of rehab, Jim, and I thought, geezus handsome, and I

802
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 3: kind of smiled at him.

803
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 2: And I'm in the most vulnerable here. But you're handsome

804
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 2: as hell.

805
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 3: You're handsome as hell exactly, And I don't know why.

806
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 3: I think immediately as I looked at him, I'm like,

807
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm gonna have a lot in common

808
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 3: with him. He was an ex rugby player, so I

809
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 3: could tell if he was athletic like I was. And

810
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 3: I thought to myself as I got dried at the

811
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 3: pool deck, you know, he looked pretty overwhelmed. That's a

812
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,760
Speaker 3: pretty confronting thing day one of rehab, when you're in orientation.

813
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,800
Speaker 3: He could probably use a friend. So I took it

814
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 3: upon myself to just show him the ropes, where to

815
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: get you know, hydro from, where to get the good

816
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 3: yogurt from if you need a snack, And really quickly

817
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 3: we learned that we had a lot of a lot

818
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 3: in common. And as the days went on and the

819
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,919
Speaker 3: more time we spent together, we ended up falling in love,

820
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 3: which is a little bit funny, because who finds love

821
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 3: in a rehab center.

822
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 4: I certainly didn't hear guy would.

823
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was a truly special, special time, Like

824
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 3: I look back with so much fondness in that moment,

825
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,720
Speaker 3: or in the moments that we got to share together,

826
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 3: which is a weird thing to say, because rehab's not

827
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 3: a very nice experience to have to go through. So

828
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 3: to a found love, you know, we were like normal

829
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 3: young kids in love.

830
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 4: But I think.

831
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 3: Really what spurred our recovery on, if I'm honest, was

832
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 3: you know, we're going through the grind of rehab every day.

833
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 3: What's the reward that we get to look forward to

834
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 3: at the end of this process so we can be

835
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 3: really proud of how we met and what we got through.

836
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 3: And so for us, we just dreamed of a life

837
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 3: that would exist once we finished rehab. So for us

838
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 3: it was, you know, four kids, three boys and a girl,

839
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 3: like my family. When we're out of here, we just

840
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 3: want to go like want to We want to have

841
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 3: a great life together. And in that respect, it was

842
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,919
Speaker 3: like I actually remember feeling quite grateful that I broke

843
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 3: my back because I was like, well, I know I

844
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 3: can't play cricket anymore and my sporting career is over,

845
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 3: but I've found something that felt so much grander than

846
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 3: being an athlete, which was love and wanting to spend

847
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 3: the rest of my life with someone. So that was

848
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 3: a pretty phenomenal feeling to have to well that I

849
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 3: got to lean into in that moment as well. So

850
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 3: no regrets in that respect for sure. But yeah, a

851
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 3: beautiful moment, a beautiful reflection to always get to look

852
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 3: back on. But unfortunately, I, you know, twelve months into

853
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 3: our relationship, we ended up losing Jim via suicide. So

854
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 3: I'd finished rehab, we'd been going out for twelve months,

855
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 3: and now I was now an outpatient. So I visited

856
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 3: rehab three mornings a week and then I could go

857
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 3: home or to work and transition back into normal life.

858
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 3: And Jim had a day to go before he was

859
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 3: to be considered an outpatient.

860
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 4: We'd put the lease on the house.

861
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 3: Together and the dreams that were dreaming were going to

862
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 3: come true the next day, and that night, unfortunately, and

863
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 3: inexplicably felt like it was completely out of the blue,

864
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 3: he passed away by a suicide.

865
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 4: And that just left me.

866
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 3: Feeling crushed, you know, I felt so I hit rock

867
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 3: bottom in every single way possible. I didn't know it

868
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 3: was possible to experience that amount of pain emotionally, physically, everything.

869
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 3: You know, First, I lose this dream, the one thing

870
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 3: I'd wanted to do since I was a little girl,

871
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 3: was to play cricket for Australia, and unfortunately that left me.

872
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 3: But then I lost the person that told me there

873
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 3: was so much more to life than hitting a ball

874
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 3: around the park. And I learned a few things at

875
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 3: rock bottom. The silver lining of rock bottom, I think

876
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 3: for anyone who's there right now, is that there's only

877
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 3: one way to go. You've got to go up when

878
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 3: you're at rock bottom. And I'll never experience anything harder

879
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 3: than that. I know that now, which I guess that

880
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 3: could be the silver lining of all of this, in

881
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 3: that sense that days will always be easier than that day.

882
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 4: I genuinely believe that.

883
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 3: But I really I guess in the aftermath of his passing,

884
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 3: I kind of lost myself. Not in a way that

885
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 3: I didn't ask for help or anything like that, but

886
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 3: I guess the enormity of those two experiences hit me

887
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 3: like a ton of bricks, and I genuinely I never

888
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 3: thought I'd ever be happy again. I thought, you know,

889
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 3: I'll be fine, I'll be okay. But I never thought

890
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 3: I'd ever experience true happiness again within myself because of

891
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 3: those experiences, and that was a hard reality to have

892
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 3: to face into, but it was through I guess reflection

893
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 3: throughout that adversity, where there was so much opportunity for

894
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,720
Speaker 3: goodness as well. The world is a pretty decent place

895
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 3: if we choose to see it that way. And I

896
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 3: had to find that light again and I did that

897
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 3: through was actually very accidental, but I took myself to

898
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 3: the Gold Coast where we were going to start our

899
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 3: life together.

900
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 4: And I was very alone and vulnerable in that moment.

901
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 3: And I was at Jim's mum's house one day and

902
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 3: there was a piece of paper on this coffee table

903
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 3: pen and she later told me it was ere for

904
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 3: a shopping list. And I don't know why, but at

905
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 3: my rock bottom moment, for whatever reason, I thought of

906
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 3: people in my life who had shown up for me,

907
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 3: you know, doctor's family, friends, And I picked up the

908
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 3: pen and I started writing down their names on this

909
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 3: list of paper. One name turned into ten, and the

910
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 3: next thing I knew there was thirty names on this

911
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 3: bit of paper and I'll never forget it. At my

912
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: rock bottom moment, genuinely never thinking I'd ever be happy again,

913
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 3: I remember holding this bit of paper in front of

914
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,399
Speaker 3: my face and saying to myself, Cath, if nothing else

915
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 3: this is thirty reasons to keep going.

916
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 2: Ultimately, does that finally get you out of this headspace?

917
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 2: And how do you progress from there?

918
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 3: It was a catalyst, fraternal orroun I'm not going to

919
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 3: say that, you know, gratitude changed like it changed my

920
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 3: life in that it was the stepping stone into a

921
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 3: bit more in depth work that I had to do

922
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 3: from a processing standpoint, and leaning on some other people

923
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 3: to get some help there as well. But it was

924
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 3: absolutely the way that I turned my life around and

925
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 3: flipped it back on I guess the path of being

926
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 3: me again, if that makes sense. And so I ended

927
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 3: up back at rehab not long after that, just for

928
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 3: a routine check up, nothing out of the ordinary. I

929
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:23,399
Speaker 3: was walking again at this moment and has successfully taught

930
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 3: myself how to walk again after that first rehab experience,

931
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 3: and I was having a conversation with my medical team.

932
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 3: There's about ten of them in this room, and they said, mate,

933
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,240
Speaker 3: we've got some good news for a change' actually ready

934
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 3: to discharge you before you go. Have you got any questions?

935
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 3: You can come back or give us a call at

936
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: any moment and we'd welcome me back. But you don't

937
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 3: have to keep coming back as regularly, and I said, yep,

938
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 3: that's fantastic news.

939
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 4: I've got one question.

940
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 3: Maybe it's more of a statement, but I really miss

941
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 3: being able to play cricket. I missed the competitive nature

942
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 3: of sport. I can't feel anything below my left knee

943
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: cap and I can't dorsey flex my toes on the

944
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 3: left side. That's just the consequence of that injury. So

945
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 3: it rules out batting as a right hander. So I

946
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 3: can't really play cricket. Is there anything else you think

947
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,320
Speaker 3: I could do? So that had I think for a second.

948
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 3: I said, look, you've your recovery was based in a

949
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 3: pull and on a bike, and you're very strong in

950
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 3: those disciplines. If you add it in a run, you'd

951
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 3: be a really good triathlete. Why don't you give that

952
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 3: a crack? I thought, right, I'll give it a crack

953
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 3: because I know I love the training for it. So

954
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 3: I signed up for a test triath straight into a triathlon.

955
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 3: I'd never done one before in my life. Mind you

956
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 3: as well, but I absolutely loved this test. I loved it.

957
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,760
Speaker 3: I loved getting back, you know, just moving my body.

958
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 3: It felt good. And so I ended up being the

959
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 3: first person with my disability to do a half iron Man.

960
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 3: I did it in twenty fifteen on the Sunshine Coast.

961
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 3: I did so well that I qualified for a full

962
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 3: iron Man. So that's a three point eight case swim,

963
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 3: one hundred and eighty col and a bike ride and

964
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 3: a marathon to top it off. And training was on track.

965
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,439
Speaker 3: I was the fittest I've ever been in my life.

966
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 3: Four months out from this event and with my best mate,

967
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 3: we're gone on training bike ride from Cronulla the south

968
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 3: of Sydney to Manly, the north of Sydney, to have

969
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 3: breakfast and then go back. It was about a ninety

970
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 3: k round trip, so nothing in the grand scheme of

971
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 3: the training. And I got to the north side of

972
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,280
Speaker 3: the Sydney Harbor Bridge. It was the tenth of January

973
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 3: twenty sixteen and it was a beautiful day and I

974
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 3: started making my way toward a right hand turn lane

975
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 3: and suddenly just felt a thud on my body and

976
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 3: everything went black. I got hit by a drunk driver

977
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 3: from behind and broke my back again.

978
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 4: So it was a way So.

979
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 2: After everything that you've been through, you're starting to get

980
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 2: your life on track. You dived into again something that's

981
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: given you a purpose, giving you ambition and drive, and

982
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 2: you're on your bike and you get hit by a

983
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 2: drunk driver, you break your back again, and you just

984
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 2: wake up in hospital.

985
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 3: And then I woke up from a coma two weeks

986
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,959
Speaker 3: later to the news that I was paralyzed. My back

987
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 3: was broken in four places, I dislocated my neck, my

988
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 3: right wrist broken, and my left hip was shattered. I

989
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 3: had no recollection of the accident. I'll never forget. The

990
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 3: first side I had.

991
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 4: Was of my.

992
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 3: Parents, who are easily the most supportive people I've ever known,

993
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 3: and I barely recognized them because in the two weeks

994
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 3: that I was out of it, they'd each lost about

995
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 3: ten kilos. They'd never left my side. My parents, they'd

996
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 3: sort of tag team and go and have a shower,

997
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 3: and then they'd come back, hold my hand.

998
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 4: And sit there with me in that coma. And I

999
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 4: thought to myself for the first.

1000
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: Time in my life, in that moment, it would have

1001
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 3: been twenty eight or something at that point, God, I'm

1002
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 3: the lucky one here.

1003
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 4: I'm not there having to watch this. I'm just having

1004
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 4: to sit here and endure it. And it was touch

1005
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 4: and go.

1006
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: I was in a pretty serious medical state there, and

1007
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 3: my inspiration for staying alive was just did not put

1008
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:47,359
Speaker 3: them through anything more.

1009
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,760
Speaker 4: They've been through enough with you, and they don't deserve

1010
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 4: to have to put you in a box. And so

1011
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 4: I just kept breathing.

1012
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 3: And that's the thing that kept me alive, was just

1013
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 3: I didn't want to put my folks through any more

1014
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,959
Speaker 3: adversity and the pain of loss, and so I breathed

1015
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 3: a little deeper. I spent six weeks in ICU fighting

1016
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 3: off infection on the daily. I went onto the wards

1017
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 3: for six weeks, and then I went on to rehab

1018
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 3: for six months to teach myself how to walk again

1019
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: when every person on the planet told me it was impossible.

1020
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 4: So I think perspective has.

1021
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,839
Speaker 3: Got to be one of the most powerful gifts that

1022
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 3: we have, like the ability to see through the lens

1023
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 3: of another person and potentially consider what they're enduring in

1024
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 3: that given moment, And that certainly was a great and

1025
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,280
Speaker 3: powerful tool for me in that hospital room and throughout

1026
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 3: that recovery process. I knew that it would be a

1027
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 3: far harder thing to have to watch someone struggle that

1028
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 3: you care about in that way, rather than have to

1029
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 3: actually just do it. Similar as what you're saying earlier.

1030
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,240
Speaker 3: When you're going through something like that, you get two choices.

1031
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 3: It's really simple. You have a crack or you don't.

1032
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 3: And if you have a crack, you might walk again,

1033
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 3: and if you don't, you definitely won't.

1034
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 4: And so that was really easy for me. I just

1035
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 4: had to go through that.

1036
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 2: And also, you know, don't underestimate the power of positive thinking,

1037
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 2: you know, to these small goals and just have that

1038
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 2: positive mindset, because the moment you allow that little ounce

1039
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,919
Speaker 2: of negativity to sink in, that grows just as quick

1040
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: as the positive thought, right, So it's it's phenomenal.

1041
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was.

1042
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 3: It was kind of back to square one having to

1043
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 3: learn how to walk again. And when I say everyone,

1044
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 3: I'm talking specialists from around the world sort of scans

1045
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 3: and they were like, there is no way this woman

1046
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 3: is going to walk again.

1047
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 4: But it did. And it was a moment. I remember being.

1048
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 3: Told that I'd never walk again, and I thought, really serious,

1049
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 3: this time, it's actually not going to happen. There was

1050
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 3: six doctors that told me that, And I was in

1051
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,840
Speaker 3: the concert room and I was in a wheelchair, and

1052
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,840
Speaker 3: I wheeled myself out of this room and I was like, shit,

1053
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 3: is this is this real this time?

1054
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 4: Like is this going to happen? And I'll never forget.

1055
00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:59,800
Speaker 3: I remember wheeling myself to the to the elevator to

1056
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 3: get downstairs into my rehab room and I couldn't reach

1057
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 3: the elevator button. It was about centimeters out of reach,

1058
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 3: and I just kept reaching and I just couldn't get

1059
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 3: myself high enough in this chair. And that was probably

1060
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 3: the first time I was like, shit, this is going

1061
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 3: to be the rest of my life, Like am I

1062
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 3: going to struggle like this for the rest of my life?

1063
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 4: Like I don't want this kind of life.

1064
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 3: And nothing against anyone in a wheelchair, because it was

1065
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 3: me there for a while, and it was just a

1066
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 3: hard reality to have to face into, that's for sure.

1067
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,479
Speaker 3: And a man saw that struggle. It was a pretty

1068
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 3: empty corridor and a bloke saw it, and I had

1069
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 3: my head in my hands, just feeling pretty crushed in

1070
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 3: this moment, and he pressed the button for me, and

1071
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 3: I didn't even realize it until I heard the ping

1072
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 3: of the elevator.

1073
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 4: I goes ding and I was like someone's pressed it.

1074
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:43,760
Speaker 3: And I looked up and he was sort of walking

1075
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 3: off into the distance and he kind of turned around

1076
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 3: and nodded at me, and I kind of nodded back.

1077
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 3: But we didn't exchange any words or anything like that.

1078
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 3: But I got myself. I wheeled myself into the elevator,

1079
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 3: I got downstairs, and I don't know why, but it

1080
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 3: lit a fire in me. It just felt like he

1081
00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 3: believed in me, similar to that conversation I had with

1082
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:01,399
Speaker 3: my best when I was struggling that time.

1083
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 4: Got myself into the room. I looked in front of

1084
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 4: a mirror.

1085
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 3: I pulled myself out of the chair to stand up,

1086
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 3: even though I couldn't fill my legs, lent on the wall,

1087
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 3: looked in the mirror, and just said, you're going to

1088
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 3: walk again.

1089
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 4: And I did, and.

1090
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 3: I was still pretty ginger. But then, really what transforms

1091
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 3: my life was I had to go to court and

1092
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 3: face this man that hit me with his car in

1093
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 3: court and it was a three day process and he'd

1094
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 3: never it was nearly a hit and run. He'd never

1095
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 3: said sorry for it either, And the first day he

1096
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 3: didn't even show up to court, so frustrated me because

1097
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 3: I was like, that's pretty offensive. The second day we

1098
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,720
Speaker 3: learned about the charges, and the third day, as charges

1099
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 3: are handed out, and it's all ending pretty emotional scenes.

1100
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 3: But people are spilling out the court room, and I

1101
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 3: had to remind myself this guy didn't intentionally harm me.

1102
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 3: It was a big mistake. I make at least ten

1103
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 3: of them a day. Kept thinking, thankfully, none of my

1104
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 3: mistakes have changed the course of someone's life like this.

1105
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 3: So that's what got me into the court room. But

1106
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 3: as the court rooms spilling out, this bloke breaks down

1107
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 3: in tears on the floor and I walked over to

1108
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 3: him with me crutches, and I put my hand on

1109
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 3: his shoulder. I said, maybe you're okay, and he looked

1110
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 3: up at me and he said, no, I'm not. And

1111
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 3: I said I can see that. How are you getting

1112
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 3: home today? And he said, I don't know. I can't

1113
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 3: afford a taxi and I obviously can't drive. I've lost

1114
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 3: my license. And I said, okay. My dad, my old man,

1115
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 3: is the toughest man I've ever known. He's a cop

1116
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 3: for forty years. He's seen some stuff. My dad and

1117
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 3: we see the world a bit differently. Dad and I

1118
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 3: and he was there in support of me, and he's

1119
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 3: over on my shoulder. At this point, I looked down

1120
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 3: at the man I said, look, we'll give you a lift.

1121
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 3: And he said, I don't think that's.

1122
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 4: A very good idea.

1123
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 3: And Dad says, Cath that he's definitely not a very

1124
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 3: good idea. Mate, kind of threatening in a way, but

1125
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 3: we did. It was a fifteen minute ride and you

1126
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 3: could have heard a pin drop and Dad was driving.

1127
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:44,959
Speaker 3: He was in the front and I was in the back.

1128
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 3: And we get out the front of this guy's house.

1129
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 3: He's never said thanks for the ride or sorry about

1130
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 3: the accident, and he just looks at me and he said,

1131
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 3: why did you just do that? And I said, because

1132
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 3: your actions don't control mine. I would have done that

1133
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 3: for any other person on the planet. I'm not going

1134
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 3: to let your accents change the person that I am.

1135
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 3: So he shuts the door, he gets out. I thought,

1136
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 3: I'll jump in the front with Dad. So I get

1137
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 3: in the front with Dad. We're sitting there and he's

1138
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 3: got his hands on the wheel, but we're not moving anywhere,

1139
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 3: and I was like, what's going on here? So I

1140
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 3: looked to the toughest man I've ever known, and he's

1141
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 3: just got these tears coming out his face and nearly

1142
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 3: broke me to see my old man that way.

1143
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 4: I've never seen him cry.

1144
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 3: He had throughout my recovery, but he'd kind of protected

1145
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 3: me from the pain of seeing that. And I said, Dad,

1146
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 3: what's wrong? And he said, look, Kath, before I go on,

1147
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 3: I need to know your mum. And no, we're so

1148
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 3: proud here we are, but my god, it's hard to

1149
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 3: be your parents sometimes, Like why have I just.

1150
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 4: Given that man a lift home?

1151
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 3: When he said, the hardest thing I've ever had to

1152
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 3: do as a man is watch you crawl through life.

1153
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 3: As an adult, I had to watch you crawl, mate,

1154
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,319
Speaker 3: and it nearly broke me. I never want to have

1155
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 3: to do that again.

1156
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 4: And I've just given the man who is responsible for

1157
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 4: that a lift home. And I don't know why I've

1158
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 4: done it. Can you explain it to me?

1159
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 3: I said, all right, Dad, at a young age, you

1160
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 3: actually gave me a poster that I hung above my

1161
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 3: bed and I had a quote on it.

1162
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 4: Do you remember this? He said, yeah, it's still in

1163
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 4: your old bedroom. What does it read again?

1164
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 3: I said, the quote says the world is changed by

1165
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 3: your example, not by your opinion, and he said it

1166
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 3: does to us. Said do you mind me asking Dad,

1167
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 3: why did you give that to me? He could have

1168
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 3: given it to any one of us kids. You've got

1169
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,439
Speaker 3: four of them, And he says, cath made I hate

1170
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 3: to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure I

1171
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 3: got it for free at work, And so he kind

1172
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 3: of ruined this like a special moment that we had together.

1173
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 4: But then we're able to sort of shift the dialogue on.

1174
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 3: That, and how I sort of want to articulate this

1175
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 3: is I don't watch news anymore, but I used to.

1176
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 3: And we'll go on to the news at six o'clock

1177
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 3: tonight most of us, or we go on to social media,

1178
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:32,359
Speaker 3: and we see a lot of hate in the world.

1179
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 3: There's bullying in a school yard, there's domestic violence, there's

1180
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 3: gun violence as war, there's terrorism. There's a lot of

1181
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 3: unnecessary suffering going on in the world. Life is bloody

1182
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 3: hard at the best of times. We get cancer diagnosis,

1183
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 3: we lose people, natural disasters happen. We don't need to

1184
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 3: make life harder on each other by causing an inflicting

1185
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:48,919
Speaker 3: pain on each other.

1186
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 4: We simply just don't need to. That's man made.

1187
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 3: And often we see hate and we respond to hate

1188
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 3: with hate. So you call me something, I'll come up

1189
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:57,720
Speaker 3: with something even tougher.

1190
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 4: And call you that. But you hit me, I'll hit

1191
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 4: your Backwere does it stop?

1192
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:05,799
Speaker 3: And I guess through moments like Bobby the security guard

1193
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:07,959
Speaker 3: at the SCG who helped me out when he didn't

1194
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 3: need to and was well within his rights to kick

1195
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 3: me out, and the man who pressed the elevator button.

1196
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 3: There was a lot of kindness that was shown to

1197
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 3: me throughout my periods of diversity that really turned things

1198
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 3: around for me.

1199
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 4: So here's what I did.

1200
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: And I got home after this experience with my dad.

1201
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 3: We had a good cuddle and a lunch and a

1202
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 3: beer and all that kind of stuff. And then I thought,

1203
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 3: you know what, I genuinely think that if the world

1204
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 3: had a little bit more kindness in it, a lot

1205
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 3: of the things that people are experiencing mental health crisis, loneliness,

1206
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 3: domestic violence, all this suffering that's occurring as a result

1207
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 3: of our own being mind you could be resolved.

1208
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 4: So I said, I'm going to put kindness on the mat.

1209
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 4: Here's what I did.

1210
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 3: I said, on this day, at this time, I'm leaving

1211
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 3: moment with nothing but the close on my back, no cash,

1212
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 3: credit card, food or water in order to survive. I'm

1213
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 3: only going to accept help off strangers, so family and

1214
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 3: friends can't help me, and I didn't know how long

1215
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 3: it'd last. I got pretty hungry, but I ended up

1216
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 3: reaching new stations all around the world and I got

1217
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 3: ten thousand people that reached out to help me. They said,

1218
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 3: I'll feed you, I'll get you from A to B.

1219
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 3: You can come and sleep in our house. We can

1220
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 3: pay for a train fair or a boat fair or

1221
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,799
Speaker 3: a plane fair. And ended up traveling for two months

1222
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 3: every single state in Australia, and it changed the course

1223
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 3: of my entire life, Like it genuinely changed my entire mindset.

1224
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 3: I was like, bloody ell, you know what. The world

1225
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 3: is a bloody good place. It really is.

1226
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 4: We're just not celebrating it enough.

1227
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:28,720
Speaker 2: And so you end up forcing kindness onto other people. Ultimately,

1228
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 2: that's very smart of you. That's very easy.

1229
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1230
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 3: One, because I knew that the people that would reach

1231
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 3: out to help me would have their own story, and

1232
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 3: they did, and they had a story that would break

1233
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:38,399
Speaker 3: your heart.

1234
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 4: They did.

1235
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 3: And I reckon every single person listening to this has

1236
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 3: a story that would break your heart. You might be

1237
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 3: sitting next to someone that has a story that you

1238
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 3: don't even know about. While we making life harder than like,

1239
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 3: than it needs to be. Let's just help each other

1240
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 3: out a little bit more. And so I come back

1241
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,279
Speaker 3: from that, I kind of got to two months and

1242
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm exhausted because I was sharing it

1243
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,359
Speaker 3: and documenting it. It's now best selling book and there's

1244
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 3: talks of movies and things like that the process. But

1245
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 3: all these people kept reaching out, going, this is phenomenal

1246
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 3: what you're doing. I can't help you because you're not

1247
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 3: you know, near me or something like that, but I

1248
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 3: wanted to let you know, Cath I was really inspired

1249
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 3: by your journey.

1250
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 4: Today.

1251
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 3: I mowed my neighbor's lawn, or I donated blood, or

1252
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 3: kids were sending me messages like I tied my sister's

1253
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,319
Speaker 3: shoelace or something like this. Right, So I just went,

1254
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 3: you know what, there's a lot of good people out

1255
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 3: there doing a lot of good things. This is less

1256
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 3: about me and more about all of us collectively trying to,

1257
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 3: you know, make this world a little bit better. And

1258
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 3: so I flipped the website and I said, if you

1259
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 3: want to submit an active kindness here that you've done

1260
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 3: for someone or someone's done for you, please do So

1261
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 3: it's at Kindnessfactory dot Com. I set a goal right then.

1262
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,240
Speaker 3: It was audacious to reach one million acts of kindness.

1263
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 3: I never thought we'd get there.

1264
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 4: I remember what my mates would rib me and they'd go,

1265
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,240
Speaker 4: what are you gone for? Again? I'd go a million?

1266
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 4: Like where he at? So we've got ten? Okay, you're

1267
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 4: a long way for it. I'd say, you're a long

1268
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 4: way from a million. I was like, yeah, but we're

1269
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 4: ten in from zero and you've got to start somewhere.

1270
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 3: But as our city here today, we've just clicked over

1271
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:00,360
Speaker 3: eight million acts of kindness from all around the glos.

1272
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, Katha, you are one phenomenal human being.

1273
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 2: You've put a smile on my face. Listen to your

1274
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 2: actor kindness as you've set me up for the day.

1275
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 2: Kindness is something that's free. You know. It's been amazing

1276
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 2: having you on my podcast head Game and talk about

1277
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 2: the power of positive mindset. You are the epiphany of that.

1278
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 2: Thank you ever so much, Love you millions. You're absolutely

1279
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: what the world needs. And thank you ever so much

1280
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 2: for taking the time to come on my podcast head Game.

1281
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 4: Thank you very much for having me to pleasure.

1282
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 2: To find out more about CAF's work with the Kindness Factory.

1283
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 2: Head to Kindnessfactory dot com. Thanks for listening to this

1284
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,879
Speaker 2: episode of head Game. If you know someone who might

1285
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:55,760
Speaker 2: benefit from listening to this powerful conversation, I encourage you

1286
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 2: to share it with them. I'm Att Middleton. See you

1287
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 2: in the next episode.