Speaker 1: Matt, are you ready for a night of fun?
Speaker 2: I'm always down for fun NNA and you know that. Well.
Speaker 3: We hit two million listens this year and to celebrate,
Speaker 3: we're going on tour.
Speaker 2: That we are. So on Thursday the seventh of September,
Speaker 2: we're going to be in Melbourne, Wednesday.
Speaker 1: The thirteenth of September, we're going to be in Brisbane.
Speaker 2: And Thursday, twenty first of September, we're going to be
Speaker 2: in Sydney.
Speaker 3: We're going to have special guests, prizes and so much fun.
Speaker 3: So make sure you get your tickets in our show notes.
Speaker 2: Bye see you there.
Speaker 3: I want the fairy Tale, I want the Prince Charming.
Speaker 2: She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of
Speaker 2: my kissing style.
Speaker 1: Boyfriend and girlfriend For about twelve hours, he's in the
Speaker 1: trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching the muck.
Speaker 2: I love being love, I love love.
Speaker 3: On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are
Speaker 3: celebrating Father's Day by having Matt's dad, Peter Zukowski, visit
Speaker 3: us in the studio to chat all things raising Matt.
Speaker 2: We can ask my dad all the tricky questions such
Speaker 2: as whether or not I am his favorite child and
Speaker 2: why he decided to help me with my fertility journey.
Speaker 3: We will also share our best tips for celebrating Father's
Speaker 3: Day this year and what to get your dad when
Speaker 3: you've run out of good present ideas.
Speaker 2: Stay tuned.
Speaker 3: Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all
Speaker 3: things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: Hi, Peter, Welcome to the studio.
Speaker 2: Helloa, Welcome, Dad, Welcome. First question, where's your head at? Yes,
Speaker 2: it's all over the place.
Speaker 1: Some you know that here is the studio.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're present with us at the moment.
Speaker 3: We're excited to have you in here for fire thusday,
Speaker 3: Happy Father's Day.
Speaker 4: Firstly, what have.
Speaker 2: We got planned for Father's Day?
Speaker 4: I don't know, that's husually up for you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Dad always makes like plans so much harder than
Speaker 2: they have to be. Even trying to organize sam'swat birthday
Speaker 2: dinner on the this weekend your brother. Yeah, just it's
Speaker 2: so difficult. Just tell us a time and place and
Speaker 2: we all get there, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It's all that back and forth, and you've got like
Speaker 2: three adults trying to organize something. It's always like I
Speaker 2: can't do this, I can't do that.
Speaker 4: So I can understand it's very difficult with you three
Speaker 4: because you've got your life. Your sister's got her life,
Speaker 4: and your other sister's got her life, and they just
Speaker 4: don't come together.
Speaker 1: It's hard. It's hard.
Speaker 2: We used to do Wednesday night dinner nights with Dad,
Speaker 2: so every week we would we would do a dinner
Speaker 2: with Dad, and then that sort of fizzled out during
Speaker 2: COVID dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, comes a bit.
Speaker 4: You didn't. Then you decided you want to do your
Speaker 4: own thing with your girlfriends and boyfriends, and Dad was
Speaker 4: left out in.
Speaker 5: The colt's he could just chuck a message saying hey,
Speaker 5: you could chuck a message saying hey, I'm having dinner
Speaker 5: here Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Come. And then I said to Dad, if you get
Speaker 2: two out of four, that's better than none.
Speaker 3: It must be hard, though, Like you're like, you know,
Speaker 3: number one, and then girlfriends and boyfriends come along.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine you'd be like, see you.
Speaker 4: And I was never number one. I was never number one.
Speaker 4: Well look my place, don't worry.
Speaker 2: I was always.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's their mom first.
Speaker 4: Yeah, their mother was always to be mummmies.
Speaker 2: Boy, would you say I'm a mummy's boy.
Speaker 4: I think you are to some degree because your mother
Speaker 4: does pandy you quite a bit.
Speaker 2: I'm living back at mums now and it's it's very handy.
Speaker 1: Now, it's getting washing done. He's living the highlight one very.
Speaker 4: Well looked after I can see that.
Speaker 2: And she was cooking my what do you call it
Speaker 2: my lunch for me meal? Prepping for me?
Speaker 4: Yes, which is you know, yes, at years old.
Speaker 2: Well, I was saying that, like it's gone from not
Speaker 2: being able to keep up with the dirty washing basket
Speaker 2: to not being able to keep up with the clean
Speaker 2: washing now.
Speaker 1: And that's a good problem, very good problem.
Speaker 2: I dirty when I was living out a home to
Speaker 2: now like a pile of clean in my room.
Speaker 4: Well, I suppose that's what your parents are there to
Speaker 4: do too, to some degree. And your mother looked after you, guys,
Speaker 4: very well, yeah she did, which she'd done a great job.
Speaker 1: Do you see a lot of yourself in that?
Speaker 4: I am now starting to see a bitting of myself
Speaker 4: in him. Yeah, not before, it's only as he started
Speaker 4: to mature a bit.
Speaker 1: I can start to see it in what wave.
Speaker 4: Some of his mannerisms. Yeah, and I see my like
Speaker 4: I can see a lot of my father and myself
Speaker 4: too now and it becomes quite scary because you start
Speaker 4: saying things and you're just like shit, sounds like that.
Speaker 4: And I'm sure he's starting to do the same thing
Speaker 4: now too.
Speaker 2: I say shit sometimes in the office and I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 2: that's so dad.
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck me, what's wrong with being like each other?
Speaker 2: I don't think it's so much that negative. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: that way, but it's sort of like damn, you know
Speaker 2: where it's just your product of each other.
Speaker 4: I suppose that's what you know. When you spend so
Speaker 4: much time around each other, that's what ends up happening
Speaker 4: and you ends up doing that. So yeah, but it's interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but he's got his own wife he's doing, and his
Speaker 4: own stuff and proud of him to do what he's
Speaker 4: doing at the moment.
Speaker 3: And yeah, was Matt hard when he was younger then?
Speaker 1: To raise? Would you say he was more challenging?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, I didn't find it.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 4: I didn't find him that challenging because I was out
Speaker 4: having my own trying to establish my career. And you know,
Speaker 4: I often say I really lost a lot of time
Speaker 4: with the first two because I didn't I was too
Speaker 4: I was young and I wanted.
Speaker 2: To get ahead.
Speaker 4: And I was married at twenty four I think it was,
Speaker 4: and had two children, and it was just bang bang
Speaker 4: bang and work, you know, and I spent a lot
Speaker 4: of time away working overseas. You know, at one time
Speaker 4: there in my twenties, I was away for like six
Speaker 4: months backwards and fortant. And he probably doesn't mean you
Speaker 4: don't even remember that, do you may think? Yeah, So,
Speaker 4: so I missed quite a bit of time, and I
Speaker 4: regret that to some degree now because you miss out
Speaker 4: on that. So I've overcompensated now with Samuel and trying
Speaker 4: to spend as much time as I can with him.
Speaker 4: And I think they're a little bit annoyed with that,
Speaker 4: probably particular Emma more so than you guys, because she
Speaker 4: sees a lot more of it.
Speaker 2: And so Samuel, for everyone listening, is Dad's my half brother.
Speaker 2: So he had another child with your ex second Yeah,
Speaker 2: exit no in saying that, it is hard, like I
Speaker 2: think sometimes I don't think I've told you this, Dad,
Speaker 2: but like you know, seeing you with Samuel giving him
Speaker 2: affection as like a kid of that age, Like fuck,
Speaker 2: I yearned for like that sort of stuff. So seeing
Speaker 2: that sometimes is quite difficult to watch, but I'm happy
Speaker 2: that Samuel's getting it. So it's sort of like you
Speaker 2: know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean, look, I don't remember my father
Speaker 4: being affectionate towards me.
Speaker 2: I don't dad saying my granddad saying anything affectionate in
Speaker 2: my life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you know, he wrote me really hard, and
Speaker 4: you know, so I looked upon that obviously, being the
Speaker 4: first son, got ridden, got road hard to perform, to
Speaker 4: be the best I can. So I expected that of
Speaker 4: you too, So that was what I knew. So I
Speaker 4: did that to you. Yeah, my old my younger brother,
Speaker 4: he got it a lot easier. But I mean, so
Speaker 4: it's flowed down the line, hasn't.
Speaker 1: It, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 4: But you know you've done what you wanted to do,
Speaker 4: you know, in your life, and you're doing what you
Speaker 4: want to do, should I say, And you know you're
Speaker 4: making a go of it's and that's good. You know
Speaker 4: you're doing something a bit different you did. You know
Speaker 4: you're working partially in the business, which is good too,
Speaker 4: which is you've got a four packer position, and you
Speaker 4: know you might come back into it later on, you
Speaker 4: might not, but that's that's your choice. You've got a choice,
Speaker 4: you know. I sort of had a choice, but didn't
Speaker 4: have a choice, you know, But that's never I never
Speaker 4: regret it. I don't regret it.
Speaker 2: I've done a lot.
Speaker 4: I've changed what I want.
Speaker 2: To achieve a quite big empire, built up and.
Speaker 4: Built an empire. Yeah, and you know, I've done everything
Speaker 4: I wanted to do in my working career, and I'm
Speaker 4: very happy with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think a lot of dads can relate to
Speaker 3: the fact that when their kids were younger, they were
Speaker 3: pursuing their career goals, but it was always like for
Speaker 3: the sake of the kids. I know that my dad
Speaker 3: was away a lot and he as that and he
Speaker 3: doesn't have any younger kids. But I think when I
Speaker 3: have kids, hopefully one day, or my brother has kids,
Speaker 3: I think you'll.
Speaker 1: Put a lot of that energy into the grandkids.
Speaker 3: I think, to be able to spend more time with them,
Speaker 3: because it's hard as a dad, you have to feel
Speaker 3: this like pressure to provide for the family.
Speaker 4: I think more so as you get older, you become
Speaker 4: more patient. I think that's one of the key elements.
Speaker 4: You become more patient. You don't have to please everybody.
Speaker 4: You think about yourself and you think about you know,
Speaker 4: if you have grandchildren, you know, you provide them, give
Speaker 4: them the time. You know. Me having a younger child
Speaker 4: in later years has provided me with patients and you know,
Speaker 4: and that was that's a good thing, I'm sure for
Speaker 4: me and for the other kids to see become a
Speaker 4: lot I'm a lot of a different person because I
Speaker 4: was quite angry there for a little bit, and that's
Speaker 4: just kind.
Speaker 2: Of lowed out in his old age. And he's definitely
Speaker 2: like Dad was there, not just yeah, you're like I
Speaker 2: am now in my twenties, like you get fired up.
Speaker 3: Really, you know, I think you've mellowed out heaps in
Speaker 3: the past two years, just from my personal experience. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you would agree that recently he's
Speaker 3: mellowed out.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 4: I think, I think because he hasn't got the pressure
Speaker 4: of being you know, obviously having a bit of famous
Speaker 4: put a bit of pressure on him and for him
Speaker 4: to perform to a certain you know, at a certain level.
Speaker 4: And then having you having girlfriends that are you know
Speaker 4: celebrities as well, for one, and that's caused a bit
Speaker 4: of tension with him and wanting him to be there.
Speaker 4: You know that that doesn't help, and then you've got
Speaker 4: no time. You know, the eyes are on you all
Speaker 4: the time too, so they see things and.
Speaker 3: You know, well, look that brings me to my next question.
Speaker 3: What have been your thoughts on that? Exes?
Speaker 2: But I have to listen to one? For one, where
Speaker 2: do I start?
Speaker 4: Look, we all make our choices in life, and if
Speaker 4: they are his choices, you know, that's that's what it is.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: I don't have to approve of them. I don't have
Speaker 4: to live with them. I don't have to see them.
Speaker 4: It's quite simple, you know. So if he thinks that
Speaker 4: that's right for him. You know, he often asks his
Speaker 4: family what he thinks, what they think of his girlfriends,
Speaker 4: and you know, I sit there and listen, and his
Speaker 4: sisters don't hold back on him, which you.
Speaker 2: Know at all.
Speaker 4: They tell it how it is. And I think if
Speaker 4: I did that to Matthew he would probably be quite upset.
Speaker 4: So I just sit back and let him do what
Speaker 4: he needs to do.
Speaker 3: Is that hard to sit back if you feel like
Speaker 3: potentially not saying that I think this, but if you
Speaker 3: see him with someone and you think that could be
Speaker 3: a mistake, is it hard to kind of hold your tongue.
Speaker 4: No, I if I really thought, if I felt strongly enough,
Speaker 4: I just tell him straight up. But you know, you've
Speaker 4: got to make your own mistakes to in life. If
Speaker 4: that's if that's a mistake he makes, hopefully he learns
Speaker 4: from it. But for some reason, he's not learning at
Speaker 4: the moment. So, yeah, he's gone through quite a few mistakes.
Speaker 2: I'm a sucker.
Speaker 4: So if he continues to do that, you know, well,
Speaker 4: then he's got to ask himself the question about himself.
Speaker 4: Then is there something about himself that's sending these young
Speaker 4: ladies into, you know, the state they get into.
Speaker 2: Well, that's sort of that's sort of what I did.
Speaker 2: And then I found out the journey of the diagnose
Speaker 2: that I did with ADHD, because I was like, look,
Speaker 2: you know, and it's the lowest common denominator here, happens
Speaker 2: to be me. So what's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, how did you feel when Matt told you he
Speaker 3: was diagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker 4: I don't fully understand it, and I'm not going to
Speaker 4: sit here and.
Speaker 2: Say that's very old. Still it is what it.
Speaker 4: Is, I don't know. Yeah, so I would I would say, okay,
Speaker 4: he's got a ah, what does that mean? You know,
Speaker 4: a tension diffinite definite attension. I should probably know that definite.
Speaker 4: I don't know what it is something you know, so
Speaker 4: I I don't know. I find it.
Speaker 2: I'm a very.
Speaker 4: Black and white person to some degree. So you're rather
Speaker 4: sick of you and not.
Speaker 5: Sick you WOHD is sick?
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I'm using it.
Speaker 1: It's an analogy black or.
Speaker 4: White, you know. So to me, I find that, you know,
Speaker 4: I struggle with that bit. Yeah, but look, I'm sure
Speaker 4: if I research it and find out what it's about,
Speaker 4: I might have a bit better of an understanding of
Speaker 4: what it actually is and why he's the way that
Speaker 4: he is.
Speaker 2: Well, we've done it. We've done and we've been talking
Speaker 2: about it. And since I've got my diagnose, there's a
Speaker 2: lot of half moments of why I do certain stuff
Speaker 2: and why I have behaved certain ways in different situations
Speaker 2: because of like my ADHD. Now, so you probably have
Speaker 2: the same a half moments.
Speaker 4: I have a half moment.
Speaker 2: No, Well, you'd realize why I do what I do
Speaker 2: and why I behaved one way I have it was
Speaker 2: a little bit about our history. Do you whack when
Speaker 2: we were growing up? Did you did? Did you feel
Speaker 2: the same as I did?
Speaker 3: Like it?
Speaker 2: We were hard to connect you and I like we
Speaker 2: didn't there was something that we didn't click.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, I think from what I can gather,
Speaker 4: kids were my three older ones were a lot were
Speaker 4: angry at me. So I think that played an important
Speaker 4: a role in how we communicated Matthew and I because
Speaker 4: they are angry at what happened and they and and
Speaker 4: I was one not to say anything. I kept my
Speaker 4: mouth shut about everything and tried to try to just
Speaker 4: let them vent their event their anger. And and I
Speaker 4: think that's where Matthew struggled to communicate with me, because
Speaker 4: he was angry at me, and then I would get
Speaker 4: a bit annoyed and then come back at him. And
Speaker 4: you know, as they've matured, they've realized that that things
Speaker 4: were different, and won't you know, sometimes they might have
Speaker 4: been miss it might have been misconstruted or what happened.
Speaker 4: And you know, and I oftnen analogize this through Lara saying,
Speaker 4: you know a few things to me as she got
Speaker 4: older and it was like light bold moments for her.
Speaker 4: Oh ship Dad, I didn't realize this. And then they
Speaker 4: asked me some some stuff a few months ago, both
Speaker 4: of them, all three of them, and I thought, shit,
Speaker 4: they're really starting to understand, you know, to understand being
Speaker 4: an adult, what an adult is, you know, and experiencing
Speaker 4: those things, which was good. So yes, to answer your question, yeah,
Speaker 4: we did have issues to start with, but.
Speaker 2: We went to we went to a what do you
Speaker 2: call it, not couple's canceling like canling.
Speaker 4: We did.
Speaker 2: Yes, we had a couple of sessions. There were saying
Speaker 2: for maybe five or six of them. Did you think
Speaker 2: that worked? It didn't in a way.
Speaker 4: It didn't. It didn't. It helped you to get out
Speaker 4: what you needed to get out, helped me to get
Speaker 4: out what I needed to say. Yeah, I think. I
Speaker 4: think overall, as time goes by, people people find their
Speaker 4: find their paths in communication. And you know, you need
Speaker 4: to communicate with me in a certain way as I
Speaker 4: do with you, and it might not be the same
Speaker 4: as everybody else, but the message still comes across. It's
Speaker 4: the same with me. I communicate in one way with
Speaker 4: your grandfather and in other ways I don't do it
Speaker 4: with anybody else because that's the way he he communicates
Speaker 4: with me. So so as you you know, as you
Speaker 4: get older, you understand that.
Speaker 1: You know, is it harder to raise daughters or sons?
Speaker 4: So to both, Yeah, I got too. And two, I
Speaker 4: think you expect from your sons. You expect more from them.
Speaker 4: You expect them to be like you to some degree.
Speaker 4: You expect them to for want, play football like you
Speaker 4: played football, with the intensity you played, but they don't.
Speaker 4: And you know, so you've got to wear that. With
Speaker 4: the daughter, you sort of have an expectation of detection
Speaker 4: more than anything else. And you know, but it's very clear,
Speaker 4: you know, girls tend to gravitate to their dad and
Speaker 4: boys gravitate to their mum. Now, and that's that's with
Speaker 4: your family as well. Anna, Yeah, pretty much, absolutely pretty
Speaker 4: much what happens. You know, I can bring up Lara
Speaker 4: and Emma and have a conversation with them about nothing
Speaker 4: but be on the phone for an hour. Yeah, well
Speaker 4: I couldn't do it with Matthew. I'd be on the
Speaker 4: phone for ten minutes and we'd talk, we have a
Speaker 4: meaningful conversation about something, and then they be it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we've gotten better at that, having conversations on
Speaker 2: the phone like we would. I remember going back when
Speaker 2: I was like what twenty two twenty, like from like
Speaker 2: nineteen maybe to twenty four, like I couldn't talk to you,
Speaker 2: Like I just couldn't. I couldn't. I didn't know. We
Speaker 2: just couldn't talk, don't you reckon? I just couldn't. It depends, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it depended.
Speaker 4: But I think there's lots of things going on too,
Speaker 4: you know, lots of different things going on in in
Speaker 4: our personal lives as well. So that really made it
Speaker 4: very hard for all of us to try and communicate.
Speaker 4: And the only time we communicate is on a Wednesday
Speaker 4: and Wednesday night we'd sit around talk and you know,
Speaker 4: it would be depending on how the conversation went. One
Speaker 4: person would get angry, one person wouldn't you know the
Speaker 4: things that were said that weren't happy, someone would leave.
Speaker 4: But it was it was pretty you know, pretty intense
Speaker 4: intense in times.
Speaker 2: Would you find it hard seeing me, like you've obstically
Speaker 2: said before, you want your son's for expectation to be
Speaker 2: like you. Was it like weird not weird? Was it
Speaker 2: difficult seeing me not do like the same journey that
Speaker 2: you went on, or wanting to do the same path
Speaker 2: that you wanted me to do.
Speaker 4: Essentially, No, it wasn't. It wasn't. I think at some
Speaker 4: point in time you might take that journey because you
Speaker 4: know it. You might do it like I'll do it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I have the same I have a strong principle
Speaker 4: on what I do, as in, you know, I believe
Speaker 4: it should be done a certain way. That it or wrong,
Speaker 4: but I believe it should be done that way. I
Speaker 4: disagree with Yeah, that's right. So you might change that way.
Speaker 4: Whether I say it's going to work or not work,
Speaker 4: who knows. But today I've taken the principle. You know that,
Speaker 4: you know what I how I respond with things, and
Speaker 4: how I what I think is the right way to talk.
Speaker 4: You know, it's worked for me continue to work.
Speaker 3: So you know, I don't know how often you listen
Speaker 3: to our podcast, but we did have a fortune teller
Speaker 3: on the podcast, and she actually said that in the future,
Speaker 3: Matthew and Samuel are going.
Speaker 1: To fight over your business. How do you feel about that.
Speaker 4: I didn't listen to that podcast. I don't know whether
Speaker 4: Mathew Matthew. Matthew's sort of gravitated to it a bit.
Speaker 4: I don't know whether Samuel will. He's a whole different child,
Speaker 4: and you know he might, but you know he's he's
Speaker 4: considered probably the luckier one out of the luckiest one
Speaker 4: out of all of them, because he's the last on
Speaker 4: both sides. The only for my ex it's he'll be blessed,
Speaker 4: Let's put it that way, not that they are not blessed, but.
Speaker 2: You know, people have other options and other stuff that
Speaker 2: he like, I do as well, But I think that
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't see him coming to like to
Speaker 2: work for you like I did.
Speaker 4: But he's talking, he's not. You know, well, Emma hasn't
Speaker 4: done it, uses to so refuses to, you know, after
Speaker 4: she's seen her sister and brother worked there. She's basically
Speaker 4: refused to. So I've tried to tempt her to come
Speaker 4: to work and.
Speaker 1: Have to pay. I'll give you five dollars more.
Speaker 4: Family.
Speaker 2: Family doesn't get anything.
Speaker 1: I have a question.
Speaker 3: So obviously your relationship has progressively like gotten better as
Speaker 3: the years have gone on. When Matt went on Love Island,
Speaker 3: did it kind of show you a different side of
Speaker 3: him or a new perspective on him?
Speaker 4: That was Yeah, that's interesting because he when he told
Speaker 4: me he was going to do it, and then he
Speaker 4: got selected. I said to him very clearly, I said,
Speaker 4: there's going to you need to understand a few things.
Speaker 4: I said, There's going to be people that are going
Speaker 4: to absolutely love you, and there's going to people that
Speaker 4: absolutely hate you.
Speaker 2: I had my whole life.
Speaker 4: If you can handle the haters, then do it, because
Speaker 4: the haters of the will bring you, will bring you
Speaker 4: down sometimes if you listen to everything they talk about,
Speaker 4: you're going to it's going to slaughter you. But if
Speaker 4: you can handle that, then then do it. Overall, I
Speaker 4: didn't want him to do it, I said no, but
Speaker 4: I said that was the things that I left him with.
Speaker 4: And then when he went on, I watched it and
Speaker 4: there was a few moments there where I was ready
Speaker 4: to punch the television because I thought he said some
Speaker 4: things that were a bit you know. I thought, ship,
Speaker 4: what did he say that for? Why didn't he leave that,
Speaker 4: you know, in the closet, because that's something that you
Speaker 4: don't speak about. And there was some and there were
Speaker 4: some very funny things that he did. And then when
Speaker 4: he got off and we were talking in the car
Speaker 4: on the way home about everything and him telling me
Speaker 4: the things how they get there, because I knew reality
Speaker 4: TV was contrived a bit, but you know, to the
Speaker 4: point where I didn't realize how contrived. And then when
Speaker 4: he was talking to me about this certain scene or
Speaker 4: we were asking certain things and what happened there, and
Speaker 4: then it all started to make a bit of sense.
Speaker 4: And so, yeah, you know, he did it. He did it,
Speaker 4: and you know, it worked for him, and here he
Speaker 4: is today, and I was pretty proud of him to
Speaker 4: do it. But at the same token, I thought, you ship,
Speaker 4: you know, it takes a lot of balls to get
Speaker 4: out there and put yourself out there when he had
Speaker 4: I mean, I bring this up because it was one
Speaker 4: of the first things that when he was crying with
Speaker 4: with with what was that girl? I remember, you know,
Speaker 4: I looked at that whole thing, and you know, without
Speaker 4: when you didn't know the background and how people deal
Speaker 4: with it, you saw Matthew crying and crying, crying, and
Speaker 4: then when he come out and explained exactly how that
Speaker 4: all rolled out, you've got a better perspective of what
Speaker 4: exactly happened.
Speaker 1: Happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you know, I understood it, but you know,
Speaker 4: I'm sitting there and you know, I'm copying the texts
Speaker 4: from people that are watching it that are my friends,
Speaker 4: going you know, so I look at him, bah bah,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, yeah, yeah, okay, So that I was
Speaker 4: even getting a bit of that, you know, a bit
Speaker 4: of you know, backlash backlash from it. So but yeah,
Speaker 4: and you know obviously the other one with the girls
Speaker 4: and stuff like.
Speaker 1: That, that you know, yeah, that's where I.
Speaker 4: Want to belt the telly, I want my body and
Speaker 4: I want to punch the telling.
Speaker 2: I was annoyed at that as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like your biggest regret, that's my biggest at least,
Speaker 3: it's something that you've been able to learn from.
Speaker 2: I don't say anything around that anymore at.
Speaker 1: All, at all, at all.
Speaker 4: You shouldn't. I mean, that's just something that you should
Speaker 4: never even discussed it with anybody.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't, yah, I definitely shouldn't have. And they took
Speaker 2: advantage of it, of course.
Speaker 4: And that was just to make television made television.
Speaker 2: And I've said it before even on here. I wasn't
Speaker 2: even by far the most, but it just fit their storyline.
Speaker 4: The story fitted with the way they were moving their
Speaker 4: characters and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: The narrative a better reaction to tell why of course.
Speaker 4: I mean you've done something that that week and it
Speaker 4: worked in there in their production.
Speaker 2: So respect the hustle on their behalf though, to get
Speaker 2: to do what they need to make.
Speaker 4: To get the ratings up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a hundred ratings.
Speaker 4: You know, they gotta they gotta produce television for ratings.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite memory together?
Speaker 4: I enjoyed watching Matthew play football. I really did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably, Yeah, take him into football.
Speaker 4: You know, there was lots of times when we went
Speaker 4: to the football and watched him play. And I still
Speaker 4: love he was a ruckman and I u still enjoy
Speaker 4: watching him apply his craft. And you know, I always
Speaker 4: used to say, the great tap ruckman and had a
Speaker 4: really good motor. And I've listened to people in the
Speaker 4: background talk about him and they didn't know who I was,
Speaker 4: a lot of them, And you know, I was standing
Speaker 4: there listening to these people talk about how how he
Speaker 4: did this and how he did that, and made me
Speaker 4: quite proud to listen to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got a core memory of dud when he
Speaker 2: used to be the runner for my football team and
Speaker 2: I was getting into a fight with a couple of
Speaker 2: like people and they're like on top of me. I
Speaker 2: think it was three players on top of me, you know,
Speaker 2: like jumper punching in that. And then I looked up
Speaker 2: and dadd had ripped him all off me where they
Speaker 2: were like trying to go Dad after it, and Dad
Speaker 2: was like, you know, I don't remember you were running
Speaker 2: away going like this or something off to him.
Speaker 4: That's probably from football. That was I've got in trouble
Speaker 4: over that. I wasn't supposed touch the players. I had
Speaker 4: no idea. I thought the start the runners and that
Speaker 4: were supposed to break the fights up and the kids.
Speaker 2: So he was like riffing them off me. And then
Speaker 2: they said they're trying to try to go Dad.
Speaker 4: So I do remember that game. That was the game
Speaker 4: where I you were playing a lot crap that day.
Speaker 4: I went out there and the runner, the coach gave
Speaker 4: me a message and I thought, no, that's not for Matthew.
Speaker 4: I just went out there and you're playing like ship.
Speaker 4: You need to fire after that him and then and
Speaker 4: then he he kicked a goal off the boundary and
Speaker 4: turned around to me. I had to run out because
Speaker 4: I said, go ahead, congratulate and so I ran out
Speaker 4: and he goes, see, I've told you so. It was
Speaker 4: one of the memories, and the other memory I have
Speaker 4: which has only just come back to light because of Samuel.
Speaker 4: Matthew could never take an overhead mark. He was always
Speaker 4: too scared to put his hands up and he'd always
Speaker 4: dropped his head. So I offered him money. He said
Speaker 4: to him, right, you can take an overhead mark. I'll
Speaker 4: give you fifty bucks. Was fifty bucks something like that.
Speaker 4: So one day he took this big overhead mark and
Speaker 4: he turned around to me and just pointed at me
Speaker 4: from the middle.
Speaker 2: Of the ground something like that or something, and that
Speaker 2: was it.
Speaker 4: After that he started doing it and bribed your kids
Speaker 4: to you, and I gave him money to kick a
Speaker 4: goal too, And then I did it with Samuel just recently,
Speaker 4: and all the other kids come to watch him. And
Speaker 4: this day he just took this overhead mark and kicked
Speaker 4: this big goal and you just turned around to me
Speaker 4: exactly the same thing and go.
Speaker 2: It was quite weird, the exact same.
Speaker 4: It was like dropped one hundred just like that.
Speaker 3: I mean, he could be seriously losing some big cash money.
Speaker 4: Because he did it again just recently. He goes to me, Dad.
Speaker 4: Another fifty said that you've had your one thing.
Speaker 2: Now that's it.
Speaker 4: You know, you've done it. I expected to last the
Speaker 4: whole season, and if you took him to second last
Speaker 4: game or something to do it, and Samuel did it
Speaker 4: in three or four, you.
Speaker 2: Know, same as playing some good football at the moment, what.
Speaker 1: Would you say Matt's best quality is.
Speaker 2: Too many to think.
Speaker 4: No, I'm just trying to I'm trying to think of
Speaker 4: something that I think Matthew has. He values his friendships.
Speaker 4: I think he values his friendships and I wasn't. Well,
Speaker 4: I did value my friendships, but not to the degree
Speaker 4: that Matthew does. He invests a fair bit of time
Speaker 4: into them. And I think that's probably a good trait
Speaker 4: to have, absolutely, because he's got some friends that he's had,
Speaker 4: you know, his entire life basically, so you know, and
Speaker 4: he does. You'll hear him say, oh, I've got to
Speaker 4: go with this guy, I got to go this and
Speaker 4: do that. And you know, I was thinking back to
Speaker 4: when I was twenty eight, and I'm like, catch up
Speaker 4: with them next week, next week, next week ends up
Speaker 4: being you know, three years down the track, and yeah,
Speaker 4: you know, and yeah, so he does. He's got one
Speaker 4: of his traits is he does value his friendships.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, is it's a great quality to have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that that would happen a lot with
Speaker 2: people in their adult years that they put off seeing
Speaker 2: their friends, where I'm pretty conscious of not doing that
Speaker 2: and like, yeah, you've got to go see your mates
Speaker 2: and hang out with them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we're going to talk about obviously we're talking
Speaker 2: about you having kids. Let's talk about like my journey.
Speaker 2: I obviously found out was it last year the year
Speaker 2: before that I was infertile. Well, let's not saying fertile
Speaker 2: that I'm shooting blanks. There's still options around that. I
Speaker 2: brought you along to all my appointments. How did you
Speaker 2: find it when you found out the news?
Speaker 4: Uh, it was a bit confronting because when you were
Speaker 4: first born, you had underscend the testicles. And we did
Speaker 4: everything as quickly as we possibly could to try and
Speaker 4: manage that situation as fast as we could. And I
Speaker 4: remember we went to see the doctor as soon as
Speaker 4: we found out. The next day, you're in hospital having
Speaker 4: it dealt with. And it wasn't a case of we
Speaker 4: let it go for six months. We did everything because
Speaker 4: the doctor said, the quicker you do it, the better
Speaker 4: it is. Right. So when you come back to say that,
Speaker 4: I thought, ship, we did everything we possibly could, and
Speaker 4: you know it didn't work. It's difficult, you know, because
Speaker 4: I often think that you you might miss out, you know,
Speaker 4: having grant and having kids.
Speaker 2: You're right, we have tissue.
Speaker 1: It's hard, hard, it's hard give them my heart.
Speaker 2: I didn't think that. M I wouldn't say it was
Speaker 2: your fault in the like the testical I wouldn't say
Speaker 2: it was that that that could be one of the
Speaker 2: the reasons, like it's I wouldn't blame yourself for it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: just miss out, which brings me probably Yeah to the
Speaker 2: next point that you obviously offered, because we were talking
Speaker 2: about in the closest thing to that's all right for me.
Speaker 4: It's one of the greatest things you can do is
Speaker 4: have kids.
Speaker 2: Well there's definitely options, like you know, science can come
Speaker 2: like lead them bounds.
Speaker 1: It's a really like it's really confronting. It's a really
Speaker 1: confronting topic. And it's I never cry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I've only seen Dad cry once.
Speaker 1: Sled it out.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like it's it's just something that
Speaker 3: you don't expect as a parent, and also you it's
Speaker 3: just it's really like, well, I.
Speaker 4: Could never imagine I could never imagine not having grand kids,
Speaker 4: particularly from Matthew. Yeah, you always want to see your
Speaker 4: children enjoy that, because it's a great thing to enjoy
Speaker 4: having children. Pains in the ass, but well, you know,
Speaker 4: and it was to go back to your question. It's
Speaker 4: very confronting, and you know, you blame ourselves, your mother
Speaker 4: blame to Yeah. Yeah, ship, you know I could have
Speaker 4: done more, but we couldn't, you know. So and then
Speaker 4: I said to Matthew, well, whatever I can do to
Speaker 4: help you if I need to, you know, like to
Speaker 4: be a mouse firm. Yeah, doctor said no, that's not
Speaker 4: the way.
Speaker 1: They do it, did they?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What they what they say in the mood? They said
Speaker 2: something like that would be like a what do they say,
Speaker 2: like a daily mail article or something. They said something
Speaker 2: care He said something.
Speaker 4: Your great grandson or something. He said something, something very funny, and.
Speaker 1: He told me this, it's a daily mail article waiting
Speaker 1: to have Yah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said something like that.
Speaker 4: So he said that, so you know, obviously I sort
Speaker 4: of went, okay, Well I just thought that was the.
Speaker 2: Obvious I'm the same as you. I would if I
Speaker 2: was to get a sperm downer, I would prefer it
Speaker 2: to be dad, which is fifty percent mine. Then, you know,
Speaker 2: some not to say that some randoms aren't. It's good,
Speaker 2: but like, wouldn't you want something that's essentially.
Speaker 1: Your DNA DNA? Yeah, absolutely, so I didn't.
Speaker 2: I don't care what he said about that, like yeah
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 4: But yeah, when it comes time for Matthew, if you
Speaker 4: wants step children, and we need to just do all
Speaker 4: we've got to do to make it work.
Speaker 1: Beginning the call up, well yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: He then said, my brother, you your brother. But but
Speaker 2: Samuel's what that to me? So it doesn't matter. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's still still your brother. Yes, it doesn't matter. It's
Speaker 2: still brother.
Speaker 4: That's the case. That was the case. But yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: but yeah it was Yeah. I just yeah, kept kept
Speaker 4: it to myself.
Speaker 2: And that worked with what I had to deal with. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: and I appreciate you for coming. I brought dad along
Speaker 2: to all the appointments with me just because I know, like,
Speaker 2: like the way I work, I didn't really take in
Speaker 2: all the information, so I wanted to bring a dad
Speaker 2: with me to hear it. And go through it all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's a it's a tough thing to go through.
Speaker 3: And I think obviously through those appointments you probably felt
Speaker 3: like you had to be strong from that and like
Speaker 3: taking all the information.
Speaker 1: But it's obviously like very such a difficult like subject and.
Speaker 4: Yeah, look at the time, you've got to just deal
Speaker 4: with it and take it in. Yeah, you know, I
Speaker 4: don't don't think much about that sort of stuff. I
Speaker 4: just okay, right, it's there, it needs to be dealt with. Okay,
Speaker 4: we're being told the diagnosis me, he's got what.
Speaker 2: He black and white?
Speaker 4: Black and white thing, it's there, right, Okay, it's a
Speaker 4: bit of gray. But essentially it's we can do this
Speaker 4: if that works. If it doesn't, then.
Speaker 1: It's done right exactly.
Speaker 4: So then you've got to think of, okay, well that's
Speaker 4: got a percentage of this. What do we do to
Speaker 4: get it right?
Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, and as I've said before, there's it's if
Speaker 2: you're looking at percentage wise the three things they gave me,
Speaker 2: it's it's essentially more on the side that they can
Speaker 2: find stuff there, but it's we won't know until we
Speaker 2: cross that bridge.
Speaker 4: And they talked about taking it out now and freezing it,
Speaker 4: and they said, no, that's not the.
Speaker 2: Right way, because I could reduce the chances and chances
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 4: And stuff like that when you're really ready and do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then but then again, when you get to
Speaker 2: that point and you've got your partner that you want
Speaker 2: to get pregnant, and then they do the surgery and
Speaker 2: they find out, that's pretty a whole new confronting ball game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard having to wait, Hey, is it not?
Speaker 1: What do you think, Peter?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Look, I think if Matthews finds somebody these he
Speaker 4: wants that he wants to settle down with that fits
Speaker 4: his criteria, I want, you know, then you know he
Speaker 4: should if he really wants to do it, he should
Speaker 4: do it straight away because it's not going to be
Speaker 4: three minutes and it's going to happen. It's going to
Speaker 4: take six months, twelve months. Yeah, you know, there's going
Speaker 4: to be a whole lot of stuff he's going to
Speaker 4: go through. So he needs to he needs to deal
Speaker 4: with that absolutely.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I've expressed that as well in the past before.
Speaker 2: It's not going to be It's not as easy as like,
Speaker 2: you know, not pulling out one time it's going to
Speaker 2: be like a process of like you know, yeah, expensive
Speaker 2: and long process. Yeah, but it is what it is.
Speaker 2: I guess that's what I've got to do.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean that's recently single. Now do we think
Speaker 3: the next person that he meets could potentially be the one?
Speaker 3: What are we thinking?
Speaker 4: I don't know. No, yeah, I don't think it will
Speaker 4: be anytime soon.
Speaker 2: Do you reckon something I've learned from you? Dad? Or sorry,
Speaker 2: you haven't told me this or any thing, but I
Speaker 2: picked up from you as you were awfully young to
Speaker 2: get married and have kids. Yeah, and I and even
Speaker 2: like it goes high as my uncle in England was
Speaker 2: awfully young as well. He was, and I feel like
Speaker 2: looking at you guys, I don't want to be in
Speaker 2: that situation. I want to be older and I've taken
Speaker 2: a while to mature. I feel like, oh, you can
Speaker 2: agree with that, yeah, And I want to be properly
Speaker 2: ready mature and to settle down and have that say
Speaker 2: you're too young, You weren't.
Speaker 1: You were twenty three.
Speaker 2: You were mature for your age. But I think that,
Speaker 2: like you know.
Speaker 4: No, I was with if I look back, I was
Speaker 4: too young. Ye, I was too young. It was just
Speaker 4: lucky that your mother was a lot older than me,
Speaker 4: so that helped the whole situation. But I was I
Speaker 4: should have waited a lot, a little bit longer, but
Speaker 4: your mother was desperate to have kids, so so it went.
Speaker 4: And you know, I don't regret it because I've I've
Speaker 4: never regret it. It's because i've I've been was a
Speaker 4: young dad, and I experienced being a young dad, and
Speaker 4: now I'm experiencing the other side of that, of being
Speaker 4: an old dad. So I've had the best of both
Speaker 4: worlds to some degree, and you know that's changed my
Speaker 4: perspective on different things. I just don't want to be
Speaker 4: a young grand for others.
Speaker 1: Exactly. Well, look, it's Father's Day. That's why we've got
Speaker 1: you in here.
Speaker 3: We want to ask you what makes a good Father's Day?
Speaker 4: Ah, makes a good having your family around? I suppose, Yeah,
Speaker 4: that's that's probably the main thing, just having your kids
Speaker 4: around you and you know, enjoying their company.
Speaker 3: What's your ideal way that you can spend Father's Day
Speaker 3: just for your kids? Listening from maybe people who are
Speaker 3: still organizing, That.
Speaker 2: Would be literally the day. I'm pretty sure dad came
Speaker 2: around last night for Samuel's birthday. And when you left,
Speaker 2: Lara was like his dad realized that that's his father's day.
Speaker 4: There you go, that's my fame. So at home by myself. No,
Speaker 4: just I think just having your family around and them
Speaker 4: showing you a bit of attention, I suppose, and that's
Speaker 4: probably what I want. Yeah, I can't ask.
Speaker 1: For much more than that ideal gift.
Speaker 2: A pair of socks, such a class as I an
Speaker 2: adult now, the socks and jocks present doesn't go straight exactly.
Speaker 2: Probably the best present because you always need it. We
Speaker 2: always lean on something, I guess with like the Star
Speaker 2: Wars theme, you know, like dar fad I am your
Speaker 2: father mostly leaned towards that.
Speaker 4: And I've got a few use on the fridge. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we're writing you something and then like yeah on the
Speaker 4: fridge and I call it up.
Speaker 2: And taking out for dinner. I'm ready had an expensive
Speaker 2: taste last time? What was that flower drum?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Good taste, very good.
Speaker 3: If I had a dinner, I a you, I would
Speaker 3: want to get a flower to be honest, I'm sure
Speaker 3: you would would.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very nice to feed as well. How do you
Speaker 2: think dating is different from this error? Back when you
Speaker 2: were dating, like the obvious ones is obviously you know,
Speaker 2: like tinder hinge and that.
Speaker 3: Look.
Speaker 4: I think women today are much more liberal in their
Speaker 4: approach to things, and they're almost to some degree directed
Speaker 4: in the traffic. You know, they'll they'll tell you what
Speaker 4: they want. And it was not like that, well, not
Speaker 4: that I can remember in my day. It was more
Speaker 4: of acording process. Nowadays it's more straight down the line.
Speaker 4: I have a funny story that I remember you telling me.
Speaker 4: Correct me, if I haven't missed anything out anything like that.
Speaker 4: Did you not used to write your number because back
Speaker 4: in the day it was like paper notes.
Speaker 2: See girls that you were interested in on one hundred
Speaker 2: dollar notes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was I like that.
Speaker 2: It used to be a good party trick.
Speaker 4: So it was two things I used to do was
Speaker 4: I always would keep money in my shoe, so if
Speaker 4: I ever got really drunk and I've lost my wallet
Speaker 4: or run out of money, I always had money to
Speaker 4: go home in the taxi, so it always smart shoe
Speaker 4: off and I'd have I would always put a hundred
Speaker 4: dollar ode in there, so I always had had money
Speaker 4: to get home. And generally if I was in the city,
Speaker 4: it would take about one hundred dollars to get home,
Speaker 4: so I always had it there just in case, just
Speaker 4: in case things.
Speaker 2: I'd end up using it rver.
Speaker 4: I often forget about it because busy, so you forget
Speaker 4: about it. The other one I used to do was
Speaker 4: i'd always I used to write the girls. So I
Speaker 4: pull out one hundred dollar late out of my pocket,
Speaker 4: added my wallet or whatever it was, and i'd write
Speaker 4: the note the one hundred of the phone number. On
Speaker 4: the note, I.
Speaker 2: Love it, and oh wait, so you would write there,
Speaker 2: so you're not giving them the hundred them.
Speaker 4: What I'd do, right, I'd write them write the number
Speaker 4: down one hundred dollar. Because you didn't have any I'd say,
Speaker 4: I've got my paper. I hang on a second, I'll
Speaker 4: pull out the date and write it on it. It was
Speaker 4: a good party trick.
Speaker 1: That's so good.
Speaker 4: And I put it away and then we'd go it
Speaker 4: on a date and I'd use one hundred dollars to
Speaker 4: pay to see. I kept your number, and so it was.
Speaker 4: It used to be. It used to work. It worked
Speaker 4: for a little while.
Speaker 1: Then, that's very good. I'm actually very impressed.
Speaker 3: At the start, I thought you were like handing out
Speaker 3: like every girl you saw.
Speaker 2: Some hundreds in expensive.
Speaker 4: I used to do that and it worked, but yeah,
Speaker 4: that was that. But you wouldn't do that now, Yeah you.
Speaker 1: Would have one hundred.
Speaker 4: That plastic notes.
Speaker 1: Now where did you? Where would be like a place
Speaker 1: where you would meet people.
Speaker 4: We used to frequent the city quite a bit, and
Speaker 4: we used to go to nightclubs in the city, and
Speaker 4: so we used to frequent one and that used to
Speaker 4: have a happy hour between five and six. So I
Speaker 4: used to have all the office people come through. So
Speaker 4: it was a big jugging a lot to get all
Speaker 4: the boys together and get there by five o'clock. And
Speaker 4: and we used to trouble sometimes getting into the place.
Speaker 4: And so one of our was a group of three
Speaker 4: or four of us used to go all the time.
Speaker 4: And one of them got to know they used to
Speaker 4: give out medallions, if you ever remember they used to.
Speaker 2: Do they have them still they used to good.
Speaker 4: So this guy knew the guy who made the medallions.
Speaker 4: So what we did was we all used to get
Speaker 4: a medallion. So at the front door, we'd show them medallion.
Speaker 4: The guy would just glance at at the bounces would
Speaker 4: just glance at it. Up we'd go put the medallions
Speaker 4: weighing pay because I had no number on it, so
Speaker 4: they didn't. So we did that. We did that, We
Speaker 4: did that for years. We did that, and then I
Speaker 4: never got caught, never got caught. And then eventually we
Speaker 4: got to know the security very well because a lot
Speaker 4: of the gym that I trained at at that time,
Speaker 4: a lot of security people used to train there, So
Speaker 4: I got to know the secure already staffed quite well.
Speaker 4: So we just walk up to the front door and
Speaker 4: we'd all go in and you know, that'd be that'd
Speaker 4: be it. That's how that's how ended up. But yeah,
Speaker 4: and that's where we used to meet people. You know,
Speaker 4: in that environment. You know, you know, there was no
Speaker 4: slight right, swipe left, look at profiles, there was none
Speaker 4: of that. You actually have to interact with that person,
Speaker 4: get a vibe for him and see what they want
Speaker 4: to call.
Speaker 2: Their home phone on the home phone. Yeah, what happened
Speaker 2: when you met mum?
Speaker 4: Didn't you chase her to the other side of Yeah,
Speaker 4: when I met your mother, I she obviously wasn't living
Speaker 4: in Australia. No, No, your mother was used to be
Speaker 4: a flight attendant and we met her a night out
Speaker 4: one of those famous nights out and we interacted and
Speaker 4: then we kept in contact, kept in contact. I'd ring
Speaker 4: her and international calls international. She lived in the Middle East,
Speaker 4: so it was quite expen it was quite expensive to call.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I asked to come over. I followed her over.
Speaker 4: That was one of my very first trips overseas was
Speaker 4: to there.
Speaker 2: I went.
Speaker 4: I'd been to Balley before that, but not too not
Speaker 4: that far abroad, and that was one of my first
Speaker 4: trips over there, which was really eye opening. And that
Speaker 4: sort of gave me a bit of a travel bug.
Speaker 4: You enjoyed going to those types of places Middle East
Speaker 4: and it was, you know, very interesting.
Speaker 2: And you asked her to come back here.
Speaker 4: He asked to come back here to live and yeah,
Speaker 4: we got married, three children, three kids, and yeah, I
Speaker 4: mean sixteen years later. M Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 2: Oh, here's what it is, isn't it. Do you have
Speaker 2: any advice for people dating now then ship or anything
Speaker 2: that you've learned that you want to give people? Me,
Speaker 2: maybe let's me and everyone advice.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm not up with what I've never
Speaker 4: used any of these apps to to attract ladies or
Speaker 4: hook up with ladies or anything. Like that, so I
Speaker 4: I couldn't tell you.
Speaker 3: Really you don't really use apps though, to be fair,
Speaker 3: that's like not you're more on the vibe.
Speaker 2: That's not my To be fair, I don't really use
Speaker 2: dating apps. I've said, I've never really slept or hooked
Speaker 2: up with anyone from a dating app. I've gone on
Speaker 2: a date off.
Speaker 4: But you still use you still use social media to
Speaker 4: it to find those things where we never had that.
Speaker 4: So it's very difficult. You know, when I meet people,
Speaker 4: I still meet them in the old fashioned way. You know,
Speaker 4: I interact with people and talk to them and get that,
Speaker 4: don't you know, sit there and go and try and
Speaker 4: get a vibe to me. You know it's not you know.
Speaker 2: Then I've got a I've got another question then on
Speaker 2: what advice would you have And obviously you've had multiple
Speaker 2: relationships on how to keep a good relationship, what you've
Speaker 2: learned that you've done, that's a very good question.
Speaker 4: I think the biggest thing that you learn is patience.
Speaker 2: Before well, we've had a nice phone called recently patience.
Speaker 4: You learn to be patient, and not everybody's going to
Speaker 4: have the same opinion as what you have. You've got
Speaker 4: to respect their opinions. If their opinion is that they
Speaker 4: want to walk up that wall, well okay, I don't
Speaker 4: think you're an idiot, but walk up. It's not going
Speaker 4: to change what I think of you. But you know,
Speaker 4: it's it's you've got to learn to accept people for
Speaker 4: what they are. A lot of a lot of relationships,
Speaker 4: it's either the man's trying to change the woman or
Speaker 4: the woman's trying to change the man to something what
Speaker 4: they want, and you can't do You can never do it.
Speaker 1: You really can.
Speaker 4: The minute that starts to happen, you need to you
Speaker 4: need to say, hang on a second, this is not
Speaker 4: working for any of us. Let's go, let's get out
Speaker 4: of it, you know. And the minute that that happens,
Speaker 4: you you've got to accept who you are. If you
Speaker 4: if you worked twenty four hours a day, seven days
Speaker 4: a week, if you don't like it.
Speaker 1: Well then find someone who doesn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, find someone who doesn't.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: If you're prepared to accept that, well then that's good,
Speaker 4: you know, and vice versa.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: So it's that's that's the best advice I can give you,
Speaker 4: because I think at a young age, we're all trying
Speaker 4: to impart our our impart our views and beliefs and
Speaker 4: beliefs onto your partner, onto that next person, because you
Speaker 4: feel that they're right, you feel that they're all your
Speaker 4: your your opinion is the right opinion. Well, at the
Speaker 4: end of the day, no opinion is right, So it's
Speaker 4: an opinion. It's an opinion. So you've got to you know,
Speaker 4: you've got to accept that, you know, and the partner
Speaker 4: has to or the girlfriend or the boyfriend has to
Speaker 4: accept that. Well, you know, that's how it is.
Speaker 2: I've been stuck there with that sort of stuff where
Speaker 2: you're trying to like, you know, to convince your partner
Speaker 2: that that that your opinion is the right one, and
Speaker 2: it gets you like, that's.
Speaker 3: Great advice that I think you should take on in
Speaker 3: your next relationship.
Speaker 4: There's no arguments are a wasted emotion. You know, argue
Speaker 4: about something that you need to be argued about. Have
Speaker 4: a healthy conversation.
Speaker 2: I remember one, and.
Speaker 4: Talk about your opinions and you know, you know, but
Speaker 4: respect each other's opinion and then you know that's it,
Speaker 4: and that's just yeah.
Speaker 2: I remember you and Mum even having an argument back
Speaker 2: when I was younger about music on movies or something.
Speaker 2: You disagreed.
Speaker 4: It's just even then, I was like, wy you guys,
Speaker 4: look like I said to you, you know, when you're younger,
Speaker 4: you're trying to impart you're trying to push those opinions
Speaker 4: onto people. And you know what if that, if that
Speaker 4: was to happen today, you know, it would probably be like,
Speaker 4: he gives.
Speaker 2: A fuck what the music is.
Speaker 4: The day I'm watching the movie music it's about, I
Speaker 4: don't want to know about it, you know, you know,
Speaker 4: and that's the way way more important things to worry
Speaker 4: about in life than you know, what type of music is.
Speaker 2: I've been in arguments with my partners in the past
Speaker 2: and said, like, there's actual fucking problems in the world,
Speaker 2: like what we're just like having a discussion about.
Speaker 4: And that's why that's why I look at back now.
Speaker 4: I go so much wasted energy, so much wasted emotion
Speaker 4: for something that just doesn't need to be there, does
Speaker 4: not need to be there. You just you know, you
Speaker 4: need to get on with it, you know, just you know,
Speaker 4: deal author, there's so many important things. You know, if
Speaker 4: you've got children together, it's more important to think about
Speaker 4: what's going on with the kids or you know what,
Speaker 4: you know, what's happening here or what's happening there, than
Speaker 4: worrying about you know, music or you know who's the
Speaker 4: political opponent on the other side of the world.
Speaker 2: You know, it's just.
Speaker 1: So that's so true.
Speaker 3: Well, Peter, thank you so much for coming into the podcast.
Speaker 3: This has been an incredible interview. I've absolutely loved it.
Speaker 2: I know that, Yeah, thank you, Dad and I really
Speaker 2: appreciate it. It was it was a good, good chat that
Speaker 2: we've had.
Speaker 1: Appreciate it. Thank you, Bye bye.