WEBVTT - 'THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE' with MR ZUKOWSKI 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:02.480 Matt, are you ready for a night of fun? 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:05.360 I'm always down for fun NNA and you know that. Well. 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:08.480 We hit two million listens this year and to celebrate, 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:09.640 we're going on tour. 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:12.680 That we are. So on Thursday the seventh of September, 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:14.560 we're going to be in Melbourne, Wednesday. 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.800 The thirteenth of September, we're going to be in Brisbane. 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:18.840 And Thursday, twenty first of September, we're going to be 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:19.400 in Sydney. 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.760 We're going to have special guests, prizes and so much fun. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.560 So make sure you get your tickets in our show notes. 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:26.920 Bye see you there. 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:29.760 I want the fairy Tale, I want the Prince Charming. 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:33.040 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:34.360 my kissing style. 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:38.159 Boyfriend and girlfriend For about twelve hours, he's in the 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:40.920 trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching the muck. 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:44.280 I love being love, I love love. 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:47.040 On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:51.280 celebrating Father's Day by having Matt's dad, Peter Zukowski, visit 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:54.800 us in the studio to chat all things raising Matt. 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.200 We can ask my dad all the tricky questions such 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:00.400 as whether or not I am his favorite child and 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.640 why he decided to help me with my fertility journey. 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:06.720 We will also share our best tips for celebrating Father's 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:08.920 Day this year and what to get your dad when 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.120 you've run out of good present ideas. 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:12.120 Stay tuned. 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:19.480 Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:24.840 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:27.840 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.160 intimate details, advice, and much more. 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:37.360 Hi, Peter, Welcome to the studio. 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:43.840 Helloa, Welcome, Dad, Welcome. First question, where's your head at? Yes, 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:45.279 it's all over the place. 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:47.560 Some you know that here is the studio. 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:49.920 Yes, you're present with us at the moment. 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:53.280 We're excited to have you in here for fire thusday, 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:54.760 Happy Father's Day. 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:56.160 Firstly, what have. 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:57.400 We got planned for Father's Day? 0:01:58.040 --> 0:01:59.800 I don't know, that's husually up for you. Yeah. 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.760 Yeah, Dad always makes like plans so much harder than 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:07.520 they have to be. Even trying to organize sam'swat birthday 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:11.160 dinner on the this weekend your brother. Yeah, just it's 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.240 so difficult. Just tell us a time and place and 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:14.480 we all get there, do you know what I mean? 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:15.799 It's all that back and forth, and you've got like 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.160 three adults trying to organize something. It's always like I 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:19.239 can't do this, I can't do that. 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:22.520 So I can understand it's very difficult with you three 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:27.000 because you've got your life. Your sister's got her life, 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.520 and your other sister's got her life, and they just 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:31.200 don't come together. 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:33.280 It's hard. It's hard. 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:35.600 We used to do Wednesday night dinner nights with Dad, 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.960 so every week we would we would do a dinner 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.359 with Dad, and then that sort of fizzled out during 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:41.040 COVID dinner. 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:42.520 Yeah, comes a bit. 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:45.360 You didn't. Then you decided you want to do your 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:48.760 own thing with your girlfriends and boyfriends, and Dad was 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:49.799 left out in. 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:56.440 The colt's he could just chuck a message saying hey, 0:02:57.200 --> 0:03:00.320 you could chuck a message saying hey, I'm having dinner 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:01.640 here Wednesday. 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:03.760 Come. And then I said to Dad, if you get 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:05.799 two out of four, that's better than none. 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:09.720 It must be hard, though, Like you're like, you know, 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:13.240 number one, and then girlfriends and boyfriends come along. 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.560 I can only imagine you'd be like, see you. 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:19.360 And I was never number one. I was never number one. 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.800 Well look my place, don't worry. 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:23.360 I was always. 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:28.400 Well, yeah, that's their mom first. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:31.280 Yeah, their mother was always to be mummmies. 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.240 Boy, would you say I'm a mummy's boy. 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:38.640 I think you are to some degree because your mother 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.360 does pandy you quite a bit. 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.640 I'm living back at mums now and it's it's very handy. 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:49.800 Now, it's getting washing done. He's living the highlight one very. 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:51.520 Well looked after I can see that. 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:54.880 And she was cooking my what do you call it 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:56.400 my lunch for me meal? Prepping for me? 0:03:56.680 --> 0:04:02.720 Yes, which is you know, yes, at years old. 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:05.280 Well, I was saying that, like it's gone from not 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:08.080 being able to keep up with the dirty washing basket 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:09.520 to not being able to keep up with the clean 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:10.040 washing now. 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.880 And that's a good problem, very good problem. 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:14.840 I dirty when I was living out a home to 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:16.479 now like a pile of clean in my room. 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.520 Well, I suppose that's what your parents are there to 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:22.840 do too, to some degree. And your mother looked after you, guys, 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:26.200 very well, yeah she did, which she'd done a great job. 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:28.120 Do you see a lot of yourself in that? 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.120 I am now starting to see a bitting of myself 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:36.880 in him. Yeah, not before, it's only as he started 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:37.680 to mature a bit. 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:39.960 I can start to see it in what wave. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:46.680 Some of his mannerisms. Yeah, and I see my like 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:48.360 I can see a lot of my father and myself 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.840 too now and it becomes quite scary because you start 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.920 saying things and you're just like shit, sounds like that. 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:58.000 And I'm sure he's starting to do the same thing 0:04:58.080 --> 0:04:58.520 now too. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.080 I say shit sometimes in the office and I'm like, fuck, 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:01.919 that's so dad. 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:05.880 I'm like, fuck me, what's wrong with being like each other? 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.560 I don't think it's so much that negative. Yeah, okay, 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:11.800 that way, but it's sort of like damn, you know 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.760 where it's just your product of each other. 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:19.160 I suppose that's what you know. When you spend so 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:21.320 much time around each other, that's what ends up happening 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:26.520 and you ends up doing that. So yeah, but it's interesting. Yeah, 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.280 but he's got his own wife he's doing, and his 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.440 own stuff and proud of him to do what he's 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:33.119 doing at the moment. 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:38.039 And yeah, was Matt hard when he was younger then? 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.080 To raise? Would you say he was more challenging? 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.000 No, no, no, I didn't find it. 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:44.280 Well. 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:48.000 I didn't find him that challenging because I was out 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:52.400 having my own trying to establish my career. And you know, 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.000 I often say I really lost a lot of time 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.920 with the first two because I didn't I was too 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:00.600 I was young and I wanted. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:00.920 To get ahead. 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:04.200 And I was married at twenty four I think it was, 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:07.040 and had two children, and it was just bang bang 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.400 bang and work, you know, and I spent a lot 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:14.120 of time away working overseas. You know, at one time 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.000 there in my twenties, I was away for like six 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.320 months backwards and fortant. And he probably doesn't mean you 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:23.240 don't even remember that, do you may think? Yeah, So, 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.560 so I missed quite a bit of time, and I 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:28.840 regret that to some degree now because you miss out 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:32.479 on that. So I've overcompensated now with Samuel and trying 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:34.039 to spend as much time as I can with him. 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:37.800 And I think they're a little bit annoyed with that, 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:42.080 probably particular Emma more so than you guys, because she 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:43.719 sees a lot more of it. 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:49.279 And so Samuel, for everyone listening, is Dad's my half brother. 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:54.680 So he had another child with your ex second Yeah, 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:02.040 exit no in saying that, it is hard, like I 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.480 think sometimes I don't think I've told you this, Dad, 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:07.080 but like you know, seeing you with Samuel giving him 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.920 affection as like a kid of that age, Like fuck, 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:12.360 I yearned for like that sort of stuff. So seeing 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:16.560 that sometimes is quite difficult to watch, but I'm happy 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.880 that Samuel's getting it. So it's sort of like you 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:19.360 know what I mean. 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:23.320 Yeah, well, I mean, look, I don't remember my father 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:25.000 being affectionate towards me. 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:29.160 I don't dad saying my granddad saying anything affectionate in 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:30.080 my life. 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:35.320 Yeah, so you know, he wrote me really hard, and 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:39.440 you know, so I looked upon that obviously, being the 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:43.520 first son, got ridden, got road hard to perform, to 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:45.960 be the best I can. So I expected that of 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:47.640 you too, So that was what I knew. So I 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:51.960 did that to you. Yeah, my old my younger brother, 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:54.600 he got it a lot easier. But I mean, so 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:56.400 it's flowed down the line, hasn't. 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:57.920 It, Yeah exactly. 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.520 But you know you've done what you wanted to do, 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:03.760 you know, in your life, and you're doing what you 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:07.320 want to do, should I say, And you know you're 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:09.720 making a go of it's and that's good. You know 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:11.600 you're doing something a bit different you did. You know 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.520 you're working partially in the business, which is good too, 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:17.760 which is you've got a four packer position, and you 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:20.360 know you might come back into it later on, you 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:24.720 might not, but that's that's your choice. You've got a choice, 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:27.000 you know. I sort of had a choice, but didn't 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:31.640 have a choice, you know, But that's never I never 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:32.960 regret it. I don't regret it. 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:33.800 I've done a lot. 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:35.480 I've changed what I want. 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.880 To achieve a quite big empire, built up and. 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:42.480 Built an empire. Yeah, and you know, I've done everything 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:45.800 I wanted to do in my working career, and I'm 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:46.680 very happy with that. 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:49.520 Yeah. I think a lot of dads can relate to 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.439 the fact that when their kids were younger, they were 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:56.240 pursuing their career goals, but it was always like for 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.320 the sake of the kids. I know that my dad 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:01.560 was away a lot and he as that and he 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:05.200 doesn't have any younger kids. But I think when I 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:08.440 have kids, hopefully one day, or my brother has kids, 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:09.559 I think you'll. 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:12.160 Put a lot of that energy into the grandkids. 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.240 I think, to be able to spend more time with them, 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:17.560 because it's hard as a dad, you have to feel 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:19.960 this like pressure to provide for the family. 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:24.040 I think more so as you get older, you become 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.600 more patient. I think that's one of the key elements. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:30.360 You become more patient. You don't have to please everybody. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.920 You think about yourself and you think about you know, 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:36.319 if you have grandchildren, you know, you provide them, give 0:09:36.360 --> 0:09:39.560 them the time. You know. Me having a younger child 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:44.640 in later years has provided me with patients and you know, 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.040 and that was that's a good thing, I'm sure for 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:51.320 me and for the other kids to see become a 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.560 lot I'm a lot of a different person because I 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:58.960 was quite angry there for a little bit, and that's 0:09:59.080 --> 0:09:59.800 just kind. 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:06.920 Of lowed out in his old age. And he's definitely 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:10.360 like Dad was there, not just yeah, you're like I 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.560 am now in my twenties, like you get fired up. 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.960 Really, you know, I think you've mellowed out heaps in 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:19.320 the past two years, just from my personal experience. Yeah, 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:21.800 I don't know if you would agree that recently he's 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:22.480 mellowed out. 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:22.960 I think. 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.600 I think, I think because he hasn't got the pressure 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:30.760 of being you know, obviously having a bit of famous 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.359 put a bit of pressure on him and for him 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:36.760 to perform to a certain you know, at a certain level. 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:42.280 And then having you having girlfriends that are you know 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:45.600 celebrities as well, for one, and that's caused a bit 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:48.880 of tension with him and wanting him to be there. 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:53.760 You know that that doesn't help, and then you've got 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:55.959 no time. You know, the eyes are on you all 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.960 the time too, so they see things and. 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.559 You know, well, look that brings me to my next question. 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:08.760 What have been your thoughts on that? Exes? 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:13.160 But I have to listen to one? For one, where 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:13.760 do I start? 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.760 Look, we all make our choices in life, and if 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.560 they are his choices, you know, that's that's what it is. 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:22.760 You know. 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.960 I don't have to approve of them. I don't have 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.920 to live with them. I don't have to see them. 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:32.480 It's quite simple, you know. So if he thinks that 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:36.360 that's right for him. You know, he often asks his 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:40.280 family what he thinks, what they think of his girlfriends, 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.760 and you know, I sit there and listen, and his 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:45.880 sisters don't hold back on him, which you. 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:46.839 Know at all. 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.800 They tell it how it is. And I think if 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.800 I did that to Matthew he would probably be quite upset. 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.480 So I just sit back and let him do what 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:58.160 he needs to do. 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.560 Is that hard to sit back if you feel like 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.720 potentially not saying that I think this, but if you 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:05.880 see him with someone and you think that could be 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:09.520 a mistake, is it hard to kind of hold your tongue. 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.800 No, I if I really thought, if I felt strongly enough, 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:15.000 I just tell him straight up. But you know, you've 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:17.480 got to make your own mistakes to in life. If 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:19.720 that's if that's a mistake he makes, hopefully he learns 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.520 from it. But for some reason, he's not learning at 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:27.880 the moment. So, yeah, he's gone through quite a few mistakes. 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:30.120 I'm a sucker. 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.600 So if he continues to do that, you know, well, 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.880 then he's got to ask himself the question about himself. 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:40.760 Then is there something about himself that's sending these young 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:43.760 ladies into, you know, the state they get into. 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:47.520 Well, that's sort of that's sort of what I did. 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.680 And then I found out the journey of the diagnose 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.319 that I did with ADHD, because I was like, look, 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:56.160 you know, and it's the lowest common denominator here, happens 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.800 to be me. So what's going on? Yeah? 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.600 Yeah, how did you feel when Matt told you he 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:03.840 was diagnosed with ADHD. 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.960 I don't fully understand it, and I'm not going to 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:09.480 sit here and. 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:14.360 Say that's very old. Still it is what it. 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:19.240 Is, I don't know. Yeah, so I would I would say, okay, 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.960 he's got a ah, what does that mean? You know, 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:27.520 a tension diffinite definite attension. I should probably know that definite. 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:33.040 I don't know what it is something you know, so 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.880 I I don't know. I find it. 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:38.959 I'm a very. 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:45.120 Black and white person to some degree. So you're rather 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:45.640 sick of you and not. 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:49.640 Sick you WOHD is sick? 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:50.679 You know what I mean. 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:52.240 I'm using it. 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:54.480 It's an analogy black or. 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:58.920 White, you know. So to me, I find that, you know, 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.839 I struggle with that bit. Yeah, but look, I'm sure 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:07.240 if I research it and find out what it's about, 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:09.720 I might have a bit better of an understanding of 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:12.760 what it actually is and why he's the way that 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:13.200 he is. 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:17.080 Well, we've done it. We've done and we've been talking 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:20.160 about it. And since I've got my diagnose, there's a 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:23.320 lot of half moments of why I do certain stuff 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.440 and why I have behaved certain ways in different situations 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.200 because of like my ADHD. Now, so you probably have 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.320 the same a half moments. 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:33.000 I have a half moment. 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.840 No, Well, you'd realize why I do what I do 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.720 and why I behaved one way I have it was 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.120 a little bit about our history. Do you whack when 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.960 we were growing up? Did you did? Did you feel 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:44.640 the same as I did? 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:44.720 Like it? 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:46.600 We were hard to connect you and I like we 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.960 didn't there was something that we didn't click. 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:54.200 Yeah, I think, I think from what I can gather, 0:14:54.320 --> 0:15:00.240 kids were my three older ones were a lot were 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:05.880 angry at me. So I think that played an important 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:10.240 a role in how we communicated Matthew and I because 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:16.680 they are angry at what happened and they and and 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.040 I was one not to say anything. I kept my 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:23.920 mouth shut about everything and tried to try to just 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:29.680 let them vent their event their anger. And and I 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:33.480 think that's where Matthew struggled to communicate with me, because 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.320 he was angry at me, and then I would get 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.320 a bit annoyed and then come back at him. And 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:44.200 you know, as they've matured, they've realized that that things 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:49.440 were different, and won't you know, sometimes they might have 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:52.400 been miss it might have been misconstruted or what happened. 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:58.920 And you know, and I oftnen analogize this through Lara saying, 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:01.120 you know a few things to me as she got 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:04.400 older and it was like light bold moments for her. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:08.320 Oh ship Dad, I didn't realize this. And then they 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:13.360 asked me some some stuff a few months ago, both 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:16.600 of them, all three of them, and I thought, shit, 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:22.320 they're really starting to understand, you know, to understand being 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:25.040 an adult, what an adult is, you know, and experiencing 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:28.760 those things, which was good. So yes, to answer your question, yeah, 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.480 we did have issues to start with, but. 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.760 We went to we went to a what do you 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:38.840 call it, not couple's canceling like canling. 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:40.080 We did. 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.120 Yes, we had a couple of sessions. There were saying 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.800 for maybe five or six of them. Did you think 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.200 that worked? It didn't in a way. 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:51.760 It didn't. It didn't. It helped you to get out 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:53.440 what you needed to get out, helped me to get 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:57.400 out what I needed to say. Yeah, I think. I 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:01.640 think overall, as time goes by, people people find their 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:05.919 find their paths in communication. And you know, you need 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:08.520 to communicate with me in a certain way as I 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:10.520 do with you, and it might not be the same 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:14.920 as everybody else, but the message still comes across. It's 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.040 the same with me. I communicate in one way with 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.840 your grandfather and in other ways I don't do it 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:23.040 with anybody else because that's the way he he communicates 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:27.479 with me. So so as you you know, as you 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:28.800 get older, you understand that. 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.720 You know, is it harder to raise daughters or sons? 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:38.520 So to both, Yeah, I got too. And two, I 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:43.159 think you expect from your sons. You expect more from them. 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.719 You expect them to be like you to some degree. 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:50.480 You expect them to for want, play football like you 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:55.520 played football, with the intensity you played, but they don't. 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:57.679 And you know, so you've got to wear that. With 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.320 the daughter, you sort of have an expectation of detection 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:07.680 more than anything else. And you know, but it's very clear, 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:11.119 you know, girls tend to gravitate to their dad and 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:14.840 boys gravitate to their mum. Now, and that's that's with 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.960 your family as well. Anna, Yeah, pretty much, absolutely pretty 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.760 much what happens. You know, I can bring up Lara 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:24.159 and Emma and have a conversation with them about nothing 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.600 but be on the phone for an hour. Yeah, well 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:29.080 I couldn't do it with Matthew. I'd be on the 0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.800 phone for ten minutes and we'd talk, we have a 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.440 meaningful conversation about something, and then they be it. 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:38.879 Yeah, but we've gotten better at that, having conversations on 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:41.440 the phone like we would. I remember going back when 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:44.480 I was like what twenty two twenty, like from like 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.199 nineteen maybe to twenty four, like I couldn't talk to you, 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:50.560 Like I just couldn't. I couldn't. I didn't know. We 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:54.800 just couldn't talk, don't you reckon? I just couldn't. It depends, Yeah, 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:55.440 it depended. 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.160 But I think there's lots of things going on too, 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:00.200 you know, lots of different things going on in in 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:03.200 our personal lives as well. So that really made it 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:05.840 very hard for all of us to try and communicate. 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:07.880 And the only time we communicate is on a Wednesday 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.119 and Wednesday night we'd sit around talk and you know, 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:13.720 it would be depending on how the conversation went. One 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:16.000 person would get angry, one person wouldn't you know the 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.120 things that were said that weren't happy, someone would leave. 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:21.359 But it was it was pretty you know, pretty intense 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:22.600 intense in times. 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.399 Would you find it hard seeing me, like you've obstically 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:30.399 said before, you want your son's for expectation to be 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:33.199 like you. Was it like weird not weird? Was it 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.119 difficult seeing me not do like the same journey that 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.080 you went on, or wanting to do the same path 0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:39.600 that you wanted me to do. 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:44.760 Essentially, No, it wasn't. It wasn't. I think at some 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:48.080 point in time you might take that journey because you 0:19:48.160 --> 0:19:51.680 know it. You might do it like I'll do it. Yeah, 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.880 but I have the same I have a strong principle 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:58.240 on what I do, as in, you know, I believe 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:00.480 it should be done a certain way. That it or wrong, 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:05.080 but I believe it should be done that way. I 0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:08.440 disagree with Yeah, that's right. So you might change that way. 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:11.440 Whether I say it's going to work or not work, 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:15.680 who knows. But today I've taken the principle. You know that, 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.199 you know what I how I respond with things, and 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:20.920 how I what I think is the right way to talk. 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:24.760 You know, it's worked for me continue to work. 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.000 So you know, I don't know how often you listen 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.879 to our podcast, but we did have a fortune teller 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:35.640 on the podcast, and she actually said that in the future, 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:37.800 Matthew and Samuel are going. 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:40.520 To fight over your business. How do you feel about that. 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:45.920 I didn't listen to that podcast. I don't know whether 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:50.080 Mathew Matthew. Matthew's sort of gravitated to it a bit. 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:54.840 I don't know whether Samuel will. He's a whole different child, 0:20:56.240 --> 0:21:02.000 and you know he might, but you know he's he's 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:04.640 considered probably the luckier one out of the luckiest one 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:06.320 out of all of them, because he's the last on 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:13.400 both sides. The only for my ex it's he'll be blessed, 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:16.440 Let's put it that way, not that they are not blessed, but. 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.800 You know, people have other options and other stuff that 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:21.639 he like, I do as well, But I think that 0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:24.240 I don't. I don't see him coming to like to 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:26.200 work for you like I did. 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:36.800 But he's talking, he's not. You know, well, Emma hasn't 0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:44.720 done it, uses to so refuses to, you know, after 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:48.040 she's seen her sister and brother worked there. She's basically 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:51.760 refused to. So I've tried to tempt her to come 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:53.360 to work and. 0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:57.040 Have to pay. I'll give you five dollars more. 0:21:58.240 --> 0:21:58.520 Family. 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:04.199 Family doesn't get anything. 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:07.080 I have a question. 0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:12.159 So obviously your relationship has progressively like gotten better as 0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:15.760 the years have gone on. When Matt went on Love Island, 0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:18.680 did it kind of show you a different side of 0:22:18.800 --> 0:22:22.600 him or a new perspective on him? 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:25.880 That was Yeah, that's interesting because he when he told 0:22:25.920 --> 0:22:26.960 me he was going to do it, and then he 0:22:27.000 --> 0:22:30.160 got selected. I said to him very clearly, I said, 0:22:30.200 --> 0:22:32.439 there's going to you need to understand a few things. 0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:34.560 I said, There's going to be people that are going 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:36.679 to absolutely love you, and there's going to people that 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:37.879 absolutely hate you. 0:22:38.160 --> 0:22:40.240 I had my whole life. 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:44.600 If you can handle the haters, then do it, because 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:47.159 the haters of the will bring you, will bring you 0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:50.200 down sometimes if you listen to everything they talk about, 0:22:50.280 --> 0:22:51.919 you're going to it's going to slaughter you. But if 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:55.240 you can handle that, then then do it. Overall, I 0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:58.800 didn't want him to do it, I said no, but 0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:01.240 I said that was the things that I left him with. 0:23:01.880 --> 0:23:05.520 And then when he went on, I watched it and 0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:07.680 there was a few moments there where I was ready 0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:09.560 to punch the television because I thought he said some 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:13.320 things that were a bit you know. I thought, ship, 0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:16.080 what did he say that for? Why didn't he leave that, 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.040 you know, in the closet, because that's something that you 0:23:19.080 --> 0:23:22.720 don't speak about. And there was some and there were 0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:27.240 some very funny things that he did. And then when 0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:29.680 he got off and we were talking in the car 0:23:29.680 --> 0:23:32.800 on the way home about everything and him telling me 0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:36.120 the things how they get there, because I knew reality 0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:38.639 TV was contrived a bit, but you know, to the 0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:41.800 point where I didn't realize how contrived. And then when 0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:44.200 he was talking to me about this certain scene or 0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:46.439 we were asking certain things and what happened there, and 0:23:46.440 --> 0:23:48.080 then it all started to make a bit of sense. 0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:53.199 And so, yeah, you know, he did it. He did it, 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:55.320 and you know, it worked for him, and here he 0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:57.679 is today, and I was pretty proud of him to 0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:01.040 do it. But at the same token, I thought, you ship, 0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:04.000 you know, it takes a lot of balls to get 0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:07.120 out there and put yourself out there when he had 0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:09.080 I mean, I bring this up because it was one 0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:10.879 of the first things that when he was crying with 0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:18.320 with with what was that girl? I remember, you know, 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:22.280 I looked at that whole thing, and you know, without 0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:24.920 when you didn't know the background and how people deal 0:24:24.960 --> 0:24:30.280 with it, you saw Matthew crying and crying, crying, and 0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:33.560 then when he come out and explained exactly how that 0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:36.639 all rolled out, you've got a better perspective of what 0:24:36.760 --> 0:24:37.440 exactly happened. 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:37.840 Happened. 0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:41.439 Yeah, so you know, I understood it, but you know, 0:24:41.560 --> 0:24:43.960 I'm sitting there and you know, I'm copying the texts 0:24:44.119 --> 0:24:46.800 from people that are watching it that are my friends, 0:24:46.840 --> 0:24:49.160 going you know, so I look at him, bah bah, 0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:51.119 and I'm like, yeah, yeah, okay, So that I was 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:53.920 even getting a bit of that, you know, a bit 0:24:53.920 --> 0:24:59.360 of you know, backlash backlash from it. So but yeah, 0:24:59.440 --> 0:25:02.119 and you know obviously the other one with the girls 0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:02.800 and stuff like. 0:25:02.720 --> 0:25:04.960 That, that you know, yeah, that's where I. 0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:07.720 Want to belt the telly, I want my body and 0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:09.359 I want to punch the telling. 0:25:10.280 --> 0:25:12.720 I was annoyed at that as well. 0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:15.960 Yeah, that's like your biggest regret, that's my biggest at least, 0:25:15.960 --> 0:25:18.160 it's something that you've been able to learn from. 0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:21.320 I don't say anything around that anymore at. 0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:22.960 All, at all, at all. 0:25:23.640 --> 0:25:25.400 You shouldn't. I mean, that's just something that you should 0:25:25.480 --> 0:25:26.760 never even discussed it with anybody. 0:25:26.800 --> 0:25:28.600 I shouldn't, yah, I definitely shouldn't have. And they took 0:25:28.640 --> 0:25:30.120 advantage of it, of course. 0:25:29.960 --> 0:25:33.119 And that was just to make television made television. 0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:35.520 And I've said it before even on here. I wasn't 0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:38.679 even by far the most, but it just fit their storyline. 0:25:38.960 --> 0:25:42.920 The story fitted with the way they were moving their 0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:44.080 characters and stuff like that. 0:25:45.640 --> 0:25:48.560 The narrative a better reaction to tell why of course. 0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:52.639 I mean you've done something that that week and it 0:25:53.240 --> 0:25:54.880 worked in there in their production. 0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:58.480 So respect the hustle on their behalf though, to get 0:25:58.680 --> 0:25:59.800 to do what they need to make. 0:26:00.119 --> 0:26:00.919 To get the ratings up. 0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:05.280 Yeah, a hundred ratings. 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:10.119 You know, they gotta they gotta produce television for ratings. 0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:12.480 What's your favorite memory together? 0:26:14.680 --> 0:26:18.240 I enjoyed watching Matthew play football. I really did. 0:26:18.440 --> 0:26:20.960 Yeah, probably, Yeah, take him into football. 0:26:21.119 --> 0:26:25.000 You know, there was lots of times when we went 0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:28.000 to the football and watched him play. And I still 0:26:28.000 --> 0:26:30.440 love he was a ruckman and I u still enjoy 0:26:30.520 --> 0:26:34.560 watching him apply his craft. And you know, I always 0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:38.040 used to say, the great tap ruckman and had a 0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:40.040 really good motor. And I've listened to people in the 0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:43.280 background talk about him and they didn't know who I was, 0:26:43.400 --> 0:26:45.639 a lot of them, And you know, I was standing 0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:48.159 there listening to these people talk about how how he 0:26:48.200 --> 0:26:50.280 did this and how he did that, and made me 0:26:50.359 --> 0:26:51.639 quite proud to listen to that. 0:26:53.200 --> 0:26:55.439 Yeah, I've got a core memory of dud when he 0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:57.800 used to be the runner for my football team and 0:26:57.840 --> 0:27:00.439 I was getting into a fight with a couple of 0:27:00.560 --> 0:27:02.800 like people and they're like on top of me. I 0:27:02.840 --> 0:27:04.399 think it was three players on top of me, you know, 0:27:04.440 --> 0:27:07.000 like jumper punching in that. And then I looked up 0:27:07.000 --> 0:27:09.439 and dadd had ripped him all off me where they 0:27:09.440 --> 0:27:12.400 were like trying to go Dad after it, and Dad 0:27:12.560 --> 0:27:14.720 was like, you know, I don't remember you were running 0:27:14.720 --> 0:27:17.160 away going like this or something off to him. 0:27:18.240 --> 0:27:21.639 That's probably from football. That was I've got in trouble 0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:25.160 over that. I wasn't supposed touch the players. I had 0:27:25.160 --> 0:27:28.320 no idea. I thought the start the runners and that 0:27:28.359 --> 0:27:30.480 were supposed to break the fights up and the kids. 0:27:30.520 --> 0:27:32.359 So he was like riffing them off me. And then 0:27:32.440 --> 0:27:34.320 they said they're trying to try to go Dad. 0:27:36.160 --> 0:27:37.760 So I do remember that game. That was the game 0:27:37.800 --> 0:27:40.560 where I you were playing a lot crap that day. 0:27:41.359 --> 0:27:44.200 I went out there and the runner, the coach gave 0:27:44.240 --> 0:27:46.000 me a message and I thought, no, that's not for Matthew. 0:27:46.040 --> 0:27:48.840 I just went out there and you're playing like ship. 0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:54.399 You need to fire after that him and then and 0:27:54.440 --> 0:27:58.199 then he he kicked a goal off the boundary and 0:27:58.200 --> 0:28:00.760 turned around to me. I had to run out because 0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:02.399 I said, go ahead, congratulate and so I ran out 0:28:02.400 --> 0:28:06.800 and he goes, see, I've told you so. It was 0:28:06.880 --> 0:28:08.879 one of the memories, and the other memory I have 0:28:08.960 --> 0:28:11.400 which has only just come back to light because of Samuel. 0:28:11.840 --> 0:28:13.920 Matthew could never take an overhead mark. He was always 0:28:13.960 --> 0:28:15.520 too scared to put his hands up and he'd always 0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:18.640 dropped his head. So I offered him money. He said 0:28:18.640 --> 0:28:20.960 to him, right, you can take an overhead mark. I'll 0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:25.120 give you fifty bucks. Was fifty bucks something like that. 0:28:25.200 --> 0:28:29.199 So one day he took this big overhead mark and 0:28:29.240 --> 0:28:31.199 he turned around to me and just pointed at me 0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:32.280 from the middle. 0:28:32.080 --> 0:28:37.840 Of the ground something like that or something, and that 0:28:37.960 --> 0:28:38.160 was it. 0:28:38.160 --> 0:28:41.480 After that he started doing it and bribed your kids 0:28:41.520 --> 0:28:44.360 to you, and I gave him money to kick a 0:28:44.400 --> 0:28:46.760 goal too, And then I did it with Samuel just recently, 0:28:46.920 --> 0:28:49.840 and all the other kids come to watch him. And 0:28:49.880 --> 0:28:52.040 this day he just took this overhead mark and kicked 0:28:52.080 --> 0:28:53.760 this big goal and you just turned around to me 0:28:53.800 --> 0:28:55.000 exactly the same thing and go. 0:28:56.960 --> 0:28:58.880 It was quite weird, the exact same. 0:28:59.680 --> 0:29:04.120 It was like dropped one hundred just like that. 0:29:04.360 --> 0:29:09.360 I mean, he could be seriously losing some big cash money. 0:29:08.880 --> 0:29:11.360 Because he did it again just recently. He goes to me, Dad. 0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:15.600 Another fifty said that you've had your one thing. 0:29:15.640 --> 0:29:16.200 Now that's it. 0:29:16.320 --> 0:29:18.880 You know, you've done it. I expected to last the 0:29:18.920 --> 0:29:22.760 whole season, and if you took him to second last 0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:24.600 game or something to do it, and Samuel did it 0:29:24.640 --> 0:29:25.680 in three or four, you. 0:29:25.640 --> 0:29:29.560 Know, same as playing some good football at the moment, what. 0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:31.600 Would you say Matt's best quality is. 0:29:36.760 --> 0:29:37.480 Too many to think. 0:29:38.920 --> 0:29:40.560 No, I'm just trying to I'm trying to think of 0:29:40.600 --> 0:29:47.760 something that I think Matthew has. He values his friendships. 0:29:48.600 --> 0:29:52.760 I think he values his friendships and I wasn't. Well, 0:29:52.800 --> 0:29:55.200 I did value my friendships, but not to the degree 0:29:55.240 --> 0:29:57.480 that Matthew does. He invests a fair bit of time 0:29:57.520 --> 0:30:00.880 into them. And I think that's probably a good trait 0:30:00.920 --> 0:30:03.760 to have, absolutely, because he's got some friends that he's had, 0:30:03.880 --> 0:30:08.360 you know, his entire life basically, so you know, and 0:30:08.400 --> 0:30:10.240 he does. You'll hear him say, oh, I've got to 0:30:10.280 --> 0:30:11.400 go with this guy, I got to go this and 0:30:11.680 --> 0:30:13.440 do that. And you know, I was thinking back to 0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:18.520 when I was twenty eight, and I'm like, catch up 0:30:18.520 --> 0:30:20.320 with them next week, next week, next week ends up 0:30:20.320 --> 0:30:22.719 being you know, three years down the track, and yeah, 0:30:22.760 --> 0:30:26.200 you know, and yeah, so he does. He's got one 0:30:26.240 --> 0:30:28.360 of his traits is he does value his friendships. 0:30:28.560 --> 0:30:30.720 Yeah, no, is it's a great quality to have. 0:30:31.040 --> 0:30:32.960 Yeah, I think that that would happen a lot with 0:30:33.000 --> 0:30:35.560 people in their adult years that they put off seeing 0:30:35.600 --> 0:30:38.719 their friends, where I'm pretty conscious of not doing that 0:30:39.440 --> 0:30:41.400 and like, yeah, you've got to go see your mates 0:30:41.440 --> 0:30:42.160 and hang out with them. 0:30:42.480 --> 0:30:42.960 Yeah. 0:30:43.080 --> 0:30:46.080 Yeah. So we're going to talk about obviously we're talking 0:30:46.120 --> 0:30:49.280 about you having kids. Let's talk about like my journey. 0:30:49.320 --> 0:30:52.080 I obviously found out was it last year the year 0:30:52.120 --> 0:30:56.200 before that I was infertile. Well, let's not saying fertile 0:30:56.240 --> 0:31:00.160 that I'm shooting blanks. There's still options around that. I 0:31:00.200 --> 0:31:03.800 brought you along to all my appointments. How did you 0:31:03.840 --> 0:31:05.680 find it when you found out the news? 0:31:06.280 --> 0:31:11.440 Uh, it was a bit confronting because when you were 0:31:11.480 --> 0:31:16.680 first born, you had underscend the testicles. And we did 0:31:16.680 --> 0:31:19.320 everything as quickly as we possibly could to try and 0:31:19.360 --> 0:31:22.800 manage that situation as fast as we could. And I 0:31:22.840 --> 0:31:25.040 remember we went to see the doctor as soon as 0:31:25.040 --> 0:31:28.120 we found out. The next day, you're in hospital having 0:31:28.120 --> 0:31:30.480 it dealt with. And it wasn't a case of we 0:31:30.560 --> 0:31:32.720 let it go for six months. We did everything because 0:31:32.720 --> 0:31:34.280 the doctor said, the quicker you do it, the better 0:31:34.320 --> 0:31:38.280 it is. Right. So when you come back to say that, 0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:41.200 I thought, ship, we did everything we possibly could, and 0:31:41.840 --> 0:31:47.520 you know it didn't work. It's difficult, you know, because 0:31:47.880 --> 0:31:51.320 I often think that you you might miss out, you know, 0:31:51.480 --> 0:31:54.360 having grant and having kids. 0:31:55.280 --> 0:31:58.720 You're right, we have tissue. 0:31:58.920 --> 0:32:04.600 It's hard, hard, it's hard give them my heart. 0:32:05.960 --> 0:32:11.080 I didn't think that. M I wouldn't say it was 0:32:11.120 --> 0:32:14.120 your fault in the like the testical I wouldn't say 0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:17.880 it was that that that could be one of the 0:32:17.880 --> 0:32:21.080 the reasons, like it's I wouldn't blame yourself for it. Yeah, 0:32:21.680 --> 0:32:25.160 just miss out, which brings me probably Yeah to the 0:32:25.160 --> 0:32:28.840 next point that you obviously offered, because we were talking 0:32:28.840 --> 0:32:34.040 about in the closest thing to that's all right for me. 0:32:34.080 --> 0:32:35.480 It's one of the greatest things you can do is 0:32:35.480 --> 0:32:36.120 have kids. 0:32:37.240 --> 0:32:41.640 Well there's definitely options, like you know, science can come 0:32:41.720 --> 0:32:42.760 like lead them bounds. 0:32:45.840 --> 0:32:48.360 It's a really like it's really confronting. It's a really 0:32:48.360 --> 0:32:51.880 confronting topic. And it's I never cry. 0:32:52.240 --> 0:32:54.560 Yeah, no, I've only seen Dad cry once. 0:32:55.560 --> 0:32:56.280 Sled it out. 0:32:56.360 --> 0:32:59.560 I mean, I feel like it's it's just something that 0:32:59.600 --> 0:33:03.560 you don't expect as a parent, and also you it's 0:33:03.680 --> 0:33:05.520 just it's really like, well, I. 0:33:05.440 --> 0:33:10.720 Could never imagine I could never imagine not having grand kids, 0:33:11.240 --> 0:33:14.640 particularly from Matthew. Yeah, you always want to see your 0:33:14.680 --> 0:33:17.720 children enjoy that, because it's a great thing to enjoy 0:33:17.760 --> 0:33:25.800 having children. Pains in the ass, but well, you know, 0:33:25.840 --> 0:33:29.680 and it was to go back to your question. It's 0:33:29.800 --> 0:33:33.640 very confronting, and you know, you blame ourselves, your mother 0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:43.000 blame to Yeah. Yeah, ship, you know I could have 0:33:43.000 --> 0:33:46.800 done more, but we couldn't, you know. So and then 0:33:46.800 --> 0:33:49.280 I said to Matthew, well, whatever I can do to 0:33:49.320 --> 0:33:54.080 help you if I need to, you know, like to 0:33:54.080 --> 0:33:58.120 be a mouse firm. Yeah, doctor said no, that's not 0:33:58.200 --> 0:33:58.720 the way. 0:33:58.520 --> 0:33:59.440 They do it, did they? 0:34:00.040 --> 0:34:00.200 Yeah? 0:34:00.360 --> 0:34:03.480 What they what they say in the mood? They said 0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:06.400 something like that would be like a what do they say, 0:34:06.440 --> 0:34:09.440 like a daily mail article or something. They said something 0:34:10.320 --> 0:34:13.640 care He said something. 0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:18.360 Your great grandson or something. He said something, something very funny, and. 0:34:18.560 --> 0:34:21.120 He told me this, it's a daily mail article waiting 0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:22.319 to have Yah. 0:34:22.360 --> 0:34:23.560 Yeah, he said something like that. 0:34:23.600 --> 0:34:28.560 So he said that, so you know, obviously I sort 0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:30.239 of went, okay, Well I just thought that was the. 0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:33.480 Obvious I'm the same as you. I would if I 0:34:33.560 --> 0:34:36.440 was to get a sperm downer, I would prefer it 0:34:36.480 --> 0:34:40.120 to be dad, which is fifty percent mine. Then, you know, 0:34:40.440 --> 0:34:43.520 some not to say that some randoms aren't. It's good, 0:34:43.560 --> 0:34:46.000 but like, wouldn't you want something that's essentially. 0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:50.319 Your DNA DNA? Yeah, absolutely, so I didn't. 0:34:50.400 --> 0:34:52.759 I don't care what he said about that, like yeah 0:34:52.840 --> 0:34:53.160 to me. 0:34:54.080 --> 0:34:56.120 But yeah, when it comes time for Matthew, if you 0:34:56.160 --> 0:34:58.480 wants step children, and we need to just do all 0:34:58.520 --> 0:34:59.680 we've got to do to make it work. 0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:05.040 Beginning the call up, well yeah yeah. 0:35:05.239 --> 0:35:09.560 He then said, my brother, you your brother. But but 0:35:09.680 --> 0:35:14.440 Samuel's what that to me? So it doesn't matter. I mean, 0:35:14.880 --> 0:35:19.960 it's still still your brother. Yes, it doesn't matter. It's 0:35:19.960 --> 0:35:20.520 still brother. 0:35:20.880 --> 0:35:24.319 That's the case. That was the case. But yeah, yeah, 0:35:24.360 --> 0:35:30.160 but yeah it was Yeah. I just yeah, kept kept 0:35:30.160 --> 0:35:31.160 it to myself. 0:35:30.800 --> 0:35:33.759 And that worked with what I had to deal with. Yeah, yeah, 0:35:33.760 --> 0:35:35.919 and I appreciate you for coming. I brought dad along 0:35:35.960 --> 0:35:38.640 to all the appointments with me just because I know, like, 0:35:39.719 --> 0:35:41.279 like the way I work, I didn't really take in 0:35:41.320 --> 0:35:43.040 all the information, so I wanted to bring a dad 0:35:43.080 --> 0:35:45.640 with me to hear it. And go through it all. 0:35:45.760 --> 0:35:48.799 Yeah, and it's a it's a tough thing to go through. 0:35:48.840 --> 0:35:51.919 And I think obviously through those appointments you probably felt 0:35:51.960 --> 0:35:53.640 like you had to be strong from that and like 0:35:53.719 --> 0:35:54.880 taking all the information. 0:35:55.080 --> 0:36:00.000 But it's obviously like very such a difficult like subject and. 0:36:01.000 --> 0:36:05.040 Yeah, look at the time, you've got to just deal 0:36:05.080 --> 0:36:07.719 with it and take it in. Yeah, you know, I 0:36:07.760 --> 0:36:10.200 don't don't think much about that sort of stuff. I 0:36:10.360 --> 0:36:13.399 just okay, right, it's there, it needs to be dealt with. Okay, 0:36:13.440 --> 0:36:15.480 we're being told the diagnosis me, he's got what. 0:36:15.480 --> 0:36:16.640 He black and white? 0:36:16.719 --> 0:36:19.719 Black and white thing, it's there, right, Okay, it's a 0:36:19.719 --> 0:36:22.719 bit of gray. But essentially it's we can do this 0:36:22.920 --> 0:36:24.960 if that works. If it doesn't, then. 0:36:24.840 --> 0:36:27.960 It's done right exactly. 0:36:28.080 --> 0:36:30.439 So then you've got to think of, okay, well that's 0:36:30.480 --> 0:36:33.279 got a percentage of this. What do we do to 0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:33.839 get it right? 0:36:35.160 --> 0:36:38.120 Yeah. Look, and as I've said before, there's it's if 0:36:38.160 --> 0:36:41.160 you're looking at percentage wise the three things they gave me, 0:36:41.600 --> 0:36:44.239 it's it's essentially more on the side that they can 0:36:44.360 --> 0:36:48.560 find stuff there, but it's we won't know until we 0:36:48.920 --> 0:36:50.400 cross that bridge. 0:36:50.560 --> 0:36:53.319 And they talked about taking it out now and freezing it, 0:36:53.360 --> 0:36:54.440 and they said, no, that's not the. 0:36:54.480 --> 0:36:57.800 Right way, because I could reduce the chances and chances 0:36:57.840 --> 0:36:58.200 of it. 0:36:58.160 --> 0:37:00.560 And stuff like that when you're really ready and do it. 0:37:00.800 --> 0:37:02.319 Yeah, and then but then again, when you get to 0:37:02.360 --> 0:37:04.239 that point and you've got your partner that you want 0:37:04.280 --> 0:37:06.200 to get pregnant, and then they do the surgery and 0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:09.799 they find out, that's pretty a whole new confronting ball game. 0:37:10.080 --> 0:37:13.960 Yeah, it's hard having to wait, Hey, is it not? 0:37:14.200 --> 0:37:15.760 What do you think, Peter? 0:37:17.000 --> 0:37:22.360 Yeah, Look, I think if Matthews finds somebody these he 0:37:22.520 --> 0:37:26.680 wants that he wants to settle down with that fits 0:37:26.719 --> 0:37:31.840 his criteria, I want, you know, then you know he 0:37:31.880 --> 0:37:33.840 should if he really wants to do it, he should 0:37:33.840 --> 0:37:35.400 do it straight away because it's not going to be 0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:37.759 three minutes and it's going to happen. It's going to 0:37:37.800 --> 0:37:40.279 take six months, twelve months. Yeah, you know, there's going 0:37:40.320 --> 0:37:41.840 to be a whole lot of stuff he's going to 0:37:41.880 --> 0:37:45.560 go through. So he needs to he needs to deal 0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:47.120 with that absolutely. 0:37:47.800 --> 0:37:48.400 Absolutely. 0:37:48.440 --> 0:37:50.600 Yeah. I've expressed that as well in the past before. 0:37:50.640 --> 0:37:52.840 It's not going to be It's not as easy as like, 0:37:53.440 --> 0:37:56.000 you know, not pulling out one time it's going to 0:37:56.000 --> 0:37:59.960 be like a process of like you know, yeah, expensive 0:38:00.040 --> 0:38:03.200 and long process. Yeah, but it is what it is. 0:38:03.239 --> 0:38:04.359 I guess that's what I've got to do. 0:38:04.840 --> 0:38:05.319 That's it. 0:38:06.360 --> 0:38:08.880 Well, I mean that's recently single. Now do we think 0:38:08.960 --> 0:38:12.240 the next person that he meets could potentially be the one? 0:38:12.280 --> 0:38:13.120 What are we thinking? 0:38:13.200 --> 0:38:16.200 I don't know. No, yeah, I don't think it will 0:38:16.239 --> 0:38:17.160 be anytime soon. 0:38:17.320 --> 0:38:20.919 Do you reckon something I've learned from you? Dad? Or sorry, 0:38:21.280 --> 0:38:22.880 you haven't told me this or any thing, but I 0:38:23.000 --> 0:38:25.680 picked up from you as you were awfully young to 0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:28.880 get married and have kids. Yeah, and I and even 0:38:29.040 --> 0:38:30.960 like it goes high as my uncle in England was 0:38:30.960 --> 0:38:33.480 awfully young as well. He was, and I feel like 0:38:33.760 --> 0:38:36.080 looking at you guys, I don't want to be in 0:38:36.120 --> 0:38:40.200 that situation. I want to be older and I've taken 0:38:40.200 --> 0:38:41.920 a while to mature. I feel like, oh, you can 0:38:41.960 --> 0:38:44.000 agree with that, yeah, And I want to be properly 0:38:44.040 --> 0:38:48.600 ready mature and to settle down and have that say 0:38:48.600 --> 0:38:49.720 you're too young, You weren't. 0:38:49.920 --> 0:38:50.960 You were twenty three. 0:38:51.120 --> 0:38:53.560 You were mature for your age. But I think that, 0:38:53.640 --> 0:38:54.239 like you know. 0:38:54.280 --> 0:38:57.480 No, I was with if I look back, I was 0:38:57.520 --> 0:39:00.799 too young. Ye, I was too young. It was just 0:39:01.600 --> 0:39:03.680 lucky that your mother was a lot older than me, 0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:09.080 so that helped the whole situation. But I was I 0:39:09.080 --> 0:39:12.480 should have waited a lot, a little bit longer, but 0:39:12.719 --> 0:39:19.520 your mother was desperate to have kids, so so it went. 0:39:19.600 --> 0:39:23.480 And you know, I don't regret it because I've I've 0:39:23.560 --> 0:39:26.719 never regret it. It's because i've I've been was a 0:39:26.760 --> 0:39:30.279 young dad, and I experienced being a young dad, and 0:39:30.320 --> 0:39:32.520 now I'm experiencing the other side of that, of being 0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:35.879 an old dad. So I've had the best of both 0:39:35.880 --> 0:39:40.799 worlds to some degree, and you know that's changed my 0:39:40.880 --> 0:39:44.000 perspective on different things. I just don't want to be 0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:45.480 a young grand for others. 0:39:49.880 --> 0:39:52.759 Exactly. Well, look, it's Father's Day. That's why we've got 0:39:52.760 --> 0:39:53.400 you in here. 0:39:53.960 --> 0:39:57.759 We want to ask you what makes a good Father's Day? 0:39:58.680 --> 0:40:02.839 Ah, makes a good having your family around? I suppose, Yeah, 0:40:03.400 --> 0:40:05.359 that's that's probably the main thing, just having your kids 0:40:05.360 --> 0:40:08.520 around you and you know, enjoying their company. 0:40:09.080 --> 0:40:12.080 What's your ideal way that you can spend Father's Day 0:40:12.200 --> 0:40:15.040 just for your kids? Listening from maybe people who are 0:40:15.040 --> 0:40:18.239 still organizing, That. 0:40:18.200 --> 0:40:21.719 Would be literally the day. I'm pretty sure dad came 0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:24.360 around last night for Samuel's birthday. And when you left, 0:40:24.960 --> 0:40:27.719 Lara was like his dad realized that that's his father's day. 0:40:29.760 --> 0:40:36.600 There you go, that's my fame. So at home by myself. No, 0:40:42.080 --> 0:40:44.840 just I think just having your family around and them 0:40:45.360 --> 0:40:47.919 showing you a bit of attention, I suppose, and that's 0:40:47.920 --> 0:40:51.280 probably what I want. Yeah, I can't ask. 0:40:51.080 --> 0:40:53.520 For much more than that ideal gift. 0:40:54.719 --> 0:41:00.200 A pair of socks, such a class as I an 0:41:00.239 --> 0:41:05.440 adult now, the socks and jocks present doesn't go straight exactly. 0:41:05.520 --> 0:41:08.440 Probably the best present because you always need it. We 0:41:08.520 --> 0:41:10.520 always lean on something, I guess with like the Star 0:41:10.560 --> 0:41:12.880 Wars theme, you know, like dar fad I am your 0:41:12.920 --> 0:41:14.480 father mostly leaned towards that. 0:41:15.120 --> 0:41:19.520 And I've got a few use on the fridge. Yeah, 0:41:19.600 --> 0:41:23.319 we're writing you something and then like yeah on the 0:41:23.360 --> 0:41:24.640 fridge and I call it up. 0:41:24.680 --> 0:41:31.120 And taking out for dinner. I'm ready had an expensive 0:41:31.160 --> 0:41:34.160 taste last time? What was that flower drum? 0:41:34.719 --> 0:41:36.640 Yeah? Good taste, very good. 0:41:38.560 --> 0:41:40.040 If I had a dinner, I a you, I would 0:41:40.080 --> 0:41:43.120 want to get a flower to be honest, I'm sure 0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:44.040 you would would. 0:41:44.080 --> 0:41:44.239 Yeah. 0:41:45.360 --> 0:41:50.440 Yeah, very nice to feed as well. How do you 0:41:50.440 --> 0:41:53.880 think dating is different from this error? Back when you 0:41:53.920 --> 0:41:56.279 were dating, like the obvious ones is obviously you know, 0:41:56.320 --> 0:41:58.480 like tinder hinge and that. 0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:00.279 Look. 0:42:00.320 --> 0:42:04.000 I think women today are much more liberal in their 0:42:04.040 --> 0:42:10.920 approach to things, and they're almost to some degree directed 0:42:10.920 --> 0:42:15.799 in the traffic. You know, they'll they'll tell you what 0:42:15.840 --> 0:42:18.880 they want. And it was not like that, well, not 0:42:18.920 --> 0:42:21.879 that I can remember in my day. It was more 0:42:21.920 --> 0:42:27.800 of acording process. Nowadays it's more straight down the line. 0:42:27.880 --> 0:42:30.000 I have a funny story that I remember you telling me. 0:42:30.120 --> 0:42:32.480 Correct me, if I haven't missed anything out anything like that. 0:42:32.719 --> 0:42:34.440 Did you not used to write your number because back 0:42:34.480 --> 0:42:36.720 in the day it was like paper notes. 0:42:37.320 --> 0:42:39.280 See girls that you were interested in on one hundred 0:42:39.280 --> 0:42:39.719 dollar notes. 0:42:39.760 --> 0:42:46.160 Yeah, that was I like that. 0:42:46.200 --> 0:42:48.200 It used to be a good party trick. 0:42:49.000 --> 0:42:50.880 So it was two things I used to do was 0:42:50.920 --> 0:42:53.839 I always would keep money in my shoe, so if 0:42:53.880 --> 0:42:55.920 I ever got really drunk and I've lost my wallet 0:42:56.040 --> 0:42:57.880 or run out of money, I always had money to 0:42:57.920 --> 0:43:00.319 go home in the taxi, so it always smart shoe 0:43:00.360 --> 0:43:02.040 off and I'd have I would always put a hundred 0:43:02.080 --> 0:43:04.640 dollar ode in there, so I always had had money 0:43:04.680 --> 0:43:07.239 to get home. And generally if I was in the city, 0:43:07.239 --> 0:43:08.879 it would take about one hundred dollars to get home, 0:43:08.920 --> 0:43:11.680 so I always had it there just in case, just 0:43:11.719 --> 0:43:12.759 in case things. 0:43:12.760 --> 0:43:16.719 I'd end up using it rver. 0:43:16.920 --> 0:43:21.279 I often forget about it because busy, so you forget 0:43:21.320 --> 0:43:23.440 about it. The other one I used to do was 0:43:23.520 --> 0:43:26.200 i'd always I used to write the girls. So I 0:43:26.239 --> 0:43:27.920 pull out one hundred dollar late out of my pocket, 0:43:28.040 --> 0:43:29.680 added my wallet or whatever it was, and i'd write 0:43:29.680 --> 0:43:32.239 the note the one hundred of the phone number. On 0:43:32.280 --> 0:43:33.239 the note, I. 0:43:33.320 --> 0:43:35.120 Love it, and oh wait, so you would write there, 0:43:35.160 --> 0:43:37.439 so you're not giving them the hundred them. 0:43:41.760 --> 0:43:44.600 What I'd do, right, I'd write them write the number 0:43:44.640 --> 0:43:46.799 down one hundred dollar. Because you didn't have any I'd say, 0:43:46.760 --> 0:43:48.200 I've got my paper. I hang on a second, I'll 0:43:48.200 --> 0:43:49.320 pull out the date and write it on it. It was 0:43:49.360 --> 0:43:50.040 a good party trick. 0:43:50.320 --> 0:43:51.160 That's so good. 0:43:51.320 --> 0:43:53.520 And I put it away and then we'd go it 0:43:53.560 --> 0:43:55.560 on a date and I'd use one hundred dollars to 0:43:55.600 --> 0:43:58.840 pay to see. I kept your number, and so it was. 0:43:58.920 --> 0:44:01.040 It used to be. It used to work. It worked 0:44:01.040 --> 0:44:01.520 for a little while. 0:44:01.560 --> 0:44:04.040 Then, that's very good. I'm actually very impressed. 0:44:04.200 --> 0:44:06.200 At the start, I thought you were like handing out 0:44:06.200 --> 0:44:07.440 like every girl you saw. 0:44:09.040 --> 0:44:12.920 Some hundreds in expensive. 0:44:13.840 --> 0:44:17.919 I used to do that and it worked, but yeah, 0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:23.880 that was that. But you wouldn't do that now, Yeah you. 0:44:23.880 --> 0:44:25.040 Would have one hundred. 0:44:28.840 --> 0:44:30.600 That plastic notes. 0:44:30.640 --> 0:44:34.680 Now where did you? Where would be like a place 0:44:34.680 --> 0:44:35.800 where you would meet people. 0:44:36.800 --> 0:44:40.200 We used to frequent the city quite a bit, and 0:44:41.960 --> 0:44:44.719 we used to go to nightclubs in the city, and 0:44:46.320 --> 0:44:48.160 so we used to frequent one and that used to 0:44:48.200 --> 0:44:49.880 have a happy hour between five and six. So I 0:44:49.960 --> 0:44:53.040 used to have all the office people come through. So 0:44:53.080 --> 0:44:55.239 it was a big jugging a lot to get all 0:44:55.239 --> 0:44:59.400 the boys together and get there by five o'clock. And 0:44:59.400 --> 0:45:01.800 and we used to trouble sometimes getting into the place. 0:45:01.920 --> 0:45:04.680 And so one of our was a group of three 0:45:04.760 --> 0:45:05.960 or four of us used to go all the time. 0:45:06.040 --> 0:45:09.960 And one of them got to know they used to 0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:11.960 give out medallions, if you ever remember they used to. 0:45:13.239 --> 0:45:16.640 Do they have them still they used to good. 0:45:18.200 --> 0:45:22.759 So this guy knew the guy who made the medallions. 0:45:24.040 --> 0:45:26.080 So what we did was we all used to get 0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:30.000 a medallion. So at the front door, we'd show them medallion. 0:45:30.040 --> 0:45:31.719 The guy would just glance at at the bounces would 0:45:31.719 --> 0:45:34.440 just glance at it. Up we'd go put the medallions 0:45:34.480 --> 0:45:37.880 weighing pay because I had no number on it, so 0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:42.000 they didn't. So we did that. We did that, We 0:45:42.120 --> 0:45:47.239 did that for years. We did that, and then I 0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:50.640 never got caught, never got caught. And then eventually we 0:45:51.080 --> 0:45:54.600 got to know the security very well because a lot 0:45:54.600 --> 0:45:56.520 of the gym that I trained at at that time, 0:45:56.600 --> 0:45:58.920 a lot of security people used to train there, So 0:45:59.000 --> 0:46:01.120 I got to know the secure already staffed quite well. 0:46:01.239 --> 0:46:04.600 So we just walk up to the front door and 0:46:05.000 --> 0:46:06.800 we'd all go in and you know, that'd be that'd 0:46:06.840 --> 0:46:10.480 be it. That's how that's how ended up. But yeah, 0:46:10.560 --> 0:46:12.600 and that's where we used to meet people. You know, 0:46:12.640 --> 0:46:15.400 in that environment. You know, you know, there was no 0:46:15.480 --> 0:46:18.080 slight right, swipe left, look at profiles, there was none 0:46:18.080 --> 0:46:20.080 of that. You actually have to interact with that person, 0:46:20.120 --> 0:46:22.520 get a vibe for him and see what they want 0:46:22.520 --> 0:46:22.920 to call. 0:46:22.840 --> 0:46:27.520 Their home phone on the home phone. Yeah, what happened 0:46:27.560 --> 0:46:28.239 when you met mum? 0:46:28.280 --> 0:46:31.759 Didn't you chase her to the other side of Yeah, 0:46:31.880 --> 0:46:34.319 when I met your mother, I she obviously wasn't living 0:46:34.320 --> 0:46:36.840 in Australia. No, No, your mother was used to be 0:46:36.880 --> 0:46:40.239 a flight attendant and we met her a night out 0:46:40.360 --> 0:46:44.640 one of those famous nights out and we interacted and 0:46:45.760 --> 0:46:48.759 then we kept in contact, kept in contact. I'd ring 0:46:48.800 --> 0:46:56.080 her and international calls international. She lived in the Middle East, 0:46:56.080 --> 0:46:58.279 so it was quite expen it was quite expensive to call. 0:46:58.960 --> 0:47:01.239 And yeah, I asked to come over. I followed her over. 0:47:01.320 --> 0:47:03.799 That was one of my very first trips overseas was 0:47:03.840 --> 0:47:04.200 to there. 0:47:04.239 --> 0:47:04.520 I went. 0:47:04.880 --> 0:47:07.719 I'd been to Balley before that, but not too not 0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:10.600 that far abroad, and that was one of my first 0:47:10.640 --> 0:47:13.719 trips over there, which was really eye opening. And that 0:47:13.840 --> 0:47:15.719 sort of gave me a bit of a travel bug. 0:47:16.760 --> 0:47:22.160 You enjoyed going to those types of places Middle East 0:47:22.160 --> 0:47:24.840 and it was, you know, very interesting. 0:47:25.360 --> 0:47:27.600 And you asked her to come back here. 0:47:27.640 --> 0:47:30.040 He asked to come back here to live and yeah, 0:47:30.120 --> 0:47:34.880 we got married, three children, three kids, and yeah, I 0:47:34.920 --> 0:47:39.680 mean sixteen years later. M Yeah, it's over. 0:47:41.160 --> 0:47:49.839 Oh, here's what it is, isn't it. Do you have 0:47:49.880 --> 0:47:58.200 any advice for people dating now then ship or anything 0:47:58.200 --> 0:48:00.560 that you've learned that you want to give people? Me, 0:48:00.840 --> 0:48:03.680 maybe let's me and everyone advice. 0:48:08.160 --> 0:48:11.040 I don't know, I'm not up with what I've never 0:48:11.160 --> 0:48:17.440 used any of these apps to to attract ladies or 0:48:17.840 --> 0:48:19.840 hook up with ladies or anything. Like that, so I 0:48:20.880 --> 0:48:21.759 I couldn't tell you. 0:48:21.680 --> 0:48:24.280 Really you don't really use apps though, to be fair, 0:48:24.560 --> 0:48:26.600 that's like not you're more on the vibe. 0:48:26.960 --> 0:48:29.040 That's not my To be fair, I don't really use 0:48:29.120 --> 0:48:31.359 dating apps. I've said, I've never really slept or hooked 0:48:31.400 --> 0:48:33.600 up with anyone from a dating app. I've gone on 0:48:33.640 --> 0:48:34.160 a date off. 0:48:34.480 --> 0:48:36.680 But you still use you still use social media to 0:48:36.800 --> 0:48:39.919 it to find those things where we never had that. 0:48:40.480 --> 0:48:44.839 So it's very difficult. You know, when I meet people, 0:48:44.840 --> 0:48:46.520 I still meet them in the old fashioned way. You know, 0:48:46.560 --> 0:48:49.160 I interact with people and talk to them and get that, 0:48:51.040 --> 0:48:54.440 don't you know, sit there and go and try and 0:48:54.440 --> 0:48:58.120 get a vibe to me. You know it's not you know. 0:48:58.680 --> 0:49:01.959 Then I've got a I've got another question then on 0:49:02.280 --> 0:49:06.120 what advice would you have And obviously you've had multiple 0:49:06.160 --> 0:49:09.239 relationships on how to keep a good relationship, what you've 0:49:09.320 --> 0:49:13.040 learned that you've done, that's a very good question. 0:49:13.520 --> 0:49:17.920 I think the biggest thing that you learn is patience. 0:49:19.520 --> 0:49:23.120 Before well, we've had a nice phone called recently patience. 0:49:23.160 --> 0:49:26.160 You learn to be patient, and not everybody's going to 0:49:26.160 --> 0:49:28.879 have the same opinion as what you have. You've got 0:49:28.880 --> 0:49:31.480 to respect their opinions. If their opinion is that they 0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:34.439 want to walk up that wall, well okay, I don't 0:49:34.560 --> 0:49:37.600 think you're an idiot, but walk up. It's not going 0:49:37.600 --> 0:49:39.680 to change what I think of you. But you know, 0:49:39.800 --> 0:49:44.560 it's it's you've got to learn to accept people for 0:49:44.600 --> 0:49:48.200 what they are. A lot of a lot of relationships, 0:49:49.560 --> 0:49:51.480 it's either the man's trying to change the woman or 0:49:51.480 --> 0:49:53.759 the woman's trying to change the man to something what 0:49:53.800 --> 0:49:56.520 they want, and you can't do You can never do it. 0:49:56.560 --> 0:49:57.120 You really can. 0:49:57.400 --> 0:50:00.279 The minute that starts to happen, you need to you 0:50:00.360 --> 0:50:02.279 need to say, hang on a second, this is not 0:50:02.360 --> 0:50:05.120 working for any of us. Let's go, let's get out 0:50:05.120 --> 0:50:08.280 of it, you know. And the minute that that happens, 0:50:08.320 --> 0:50:09.920 you you've got to accept who you are. If you 0:50:09.960 --> 0:50:11.759 if you worked twenty four hours a day, seven days 0:50:11.800 --> 0:50:13.040 a week, if you don't like it. 0:50:12.960 --> 0:50:14.880 Well then find someone who doesn't. 0:50:14.960 --> 0:50:16.160 Yeah, find someone who doesn't. 0:50:16.280 --> 0:50:16.480 You know. 0:50:16.520 --> 0:50:19.560 If you're prepared to accept that, well then that's good, 0:50:19.800 --> 0:50:21.280 you know, and vice versa. 0:50:21.400 --> 0:50:21.600 You know. 0:50:21.760 --> 0:50:25.440 So it's that's that's the best advice I can give you, 0:50:25.440 --> 0:50:28.200 because I think at a young age, we're all trying 0:50:28.200 --> 0:50:34.319 to impart our our impart our views and beliefs and 0:50:34.360 --> 0:50:37.480 beliefs onto your partner, onto that next person, because you 0:50:37.520 --> 0:50:40.120 feel that they're right, you feel that they're all your 0:50:40.800 --> 0:50:43.160 your your opinion is the right opinion. Well, at the 0:50:43.239 --> 0:50:45.440 end of the day, no opinion is right, So it's 0:50:45.440 --> 0:50:47.960 an opinion. It's an opinion. So you've got to you know, 0:50:48.000 --> 0:50:50.880 you've got to accept that, you know, and the partner 0:50:50.920 --> 0:50:52.840 has to or the girlfriend or the boyfriend has to 0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:55.360 accept that. Well, you know, that's how it is. 0:50:55.560 --> 0:50:57.399 I've been stuck there with that sort of stuff where 0:50:57.400 --> 0:50:59.320 you're trying to like, you know, to convince your partner 0:50:59.360 --> 0:51:01.680 that that that your opinion is the right one, and 0:51:02.280 --> 0:51:05.080 it gets you like, that's. 0:51:05.000 --> 0:51:08.000 Great advice that I think you should take on in 0:51:08.040 --> 0:51:09.240 your next relationship. 0:51:11.360 --> 0:51:16.359 There's no arguments are a wasted emotion. You know, argue 0:51:16.400 --> 0:51:18.640 about something that you need to be argued about. Have 0:51:18.760 --> 0:51:20.840 a healthy conversation. 0:51:21.840 --> 0:51:22.880 I remember one, and. 0:51:24.520 --> 0:51:27.680 Talk about your opinions and you know, you know, but 0:51:27.800 --> 0:51:30.520 respect each other's opinion and then you know that's it, 0:51:31.520 --> 0:51:32.359 and that's just yeah. 0:51:32.480 --> 0:51:34.640 I remember you and Mum even having an argument back 0:51:34.680 --> 0:51:38.240 when I was younger about music on movies or something. 0:51:38.640 --> 0:51:39.440 You disagreed. 0:51:40.280 --> 0:51:42.600 It's just even then, I was like, wy you guys, 0:51:44.239 --> 0:51:45.959 look like I said to you, you know, when you're younger, 0:51:45.960 --> 0:51:48.640 you're trying to impart you're trying to push those opinions 0:51:48.719 --> 0:51:51.520 onto people. And you know what if that, if that 0:51:51.640 --> 0:51:54.400 was to happen today, you know, it would probably be like, 0:51:54.920 --> 0:51:55.520 he gives. 0:51:55.320 --> 0:51:56.600 A fuck what the music is. 0:51:57.920 --> 0:52:02.680 The day I'm watching the movie music it's about, I 0:52:02.719 --> 0:52:05.000 don't want to know about it, you know, you know, 0:52:05.239 --> 0:52:09.320 and that's the way way more important things to worry 0:52:09.320 --> 0:52:11.440 about in life than you know, what type of music is. 0:52:11.560 --> 0:52:13.959 I've been in arguments with my partners in the past 0:52:13.960 --> 0:52:16.080 and said, like, there's actual fucking problems in the world, 0:52:16.560 --> 0:52:19.360 like what we're just like having a discussion about. 0:52:21.239 --> 0:52:23.000 And that's why that's why I look at back now. 0:52:23.040 --> 0:52:27.360 I go so much wasted energy, so much wasted emotion 0:52:28.080 --> 0:52:31.200 for something that just doesn't need to be there, does 0:52:31.239 --> 0:52:33.400 not need to be there. You just you know, you 0:52:33.480 --> 0:52:35.480 need to get on with it, you know, just you know, 0:52:35.680 --> 0:52:37.560 deal author, there's so many important things. You know, if 0:52:37.560 --> 0:52:40.359 you've got children together, it's more important to think about 0:52:40.360 --> 0:52:42.480 what's going on with the kids or you know what, 0:52:42.600 --> 0:52:44.680 you know, what's happening here or what's happening there, than 0:52:44.680 --> 0:52:49.040 worrying about you know, music or you know who's the 0:52:49.080 --> 0:52:51.000 political opponent on the other side of the world. 0:52:51.040 --> 0:52:55.640 You know, it's just. 0:52:55.480 --> 0:52:57.040 So that's so true. 0:52:57.520 --> 0:53:00.759 Well, Peter, thank you so much for coming into the podcast. 0:53:01.000 --> 0:53:04.239 This has been an incredible interview. I've absolutely loved it. 0:53:04.400 --> 0:53:06.480 I know that, Yeah, thank you, Dad and I really 0:53:06.520 --> 0:53:09.480 appreciate it. It was it was a good, good chat that 0:53:09.560 --> 0:53:09.879 we've had. 0:53:09.960 --> 0:53:15.080 Appreciate it. Thank you, Bye bye.