Speaker 1: This is the Chrissy Swan Show, and I just had
Speaker 1: an impromptu dance break with Tom, which we often do.
Speaker 2: Often and always to Charlie XP always let's see this.
Speaker 3: Swan's sweeping statements.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is your unpopular opinion venting segment. All the
Speaker 1: things that you secretly think that are true but you're
Speaker 1: too afraid to say it. You might get Maddie thirteen
Speaker 1: twenty four ten.
Speaker 4: Give us a kick us off, Swanny.
Speaker 1: Well, you know how everybody goes, oh god, what a
Speaker 1: whanger if you've got personalized number plates?
Speaker 3: The oh my god, who would do that?
Speaker 1: I think a personalized number plate is really cool and
Speaker 1: I do, and I always have an every time, and
Speaker 1: every time I see one, I think, I think that
Speaker 1: is so cool.
Speaker 3: What is wrong with me? Because everybody says that they're
Speaker 3: not really I just think they're really cool. I can't
Speaker 3: help it.
Speaker 4: I used to when I was a teenager, and now
Speaker 4: I find them tragedy.
Speaker 3: See that's the thing. I never grew out of it.
Speaker 4: I never grew out of it.
Speaker 3: I just love them.
Speaker 1: And I like the new stylish ones that sort of
Speaker 1: they're a hidden personalized number plate like they look sort
Speaker 1: of long and English and they've just got the initials
Speaker 1: and maybe a number that means something. And I just
Speaker 1: love personalized number of plates.
Speaker 3: I just do.
Speaker 2: How do you feel about numbers in them? Like people
Speaker 2: using instead of a they use a one?
Speaker 3: Fine?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Like that makes me want to drive off the road.
Speaker 1: No, I know that it's a very unpopular opinion, but
Speaker 1: I think they're cool.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: My sweeping statement is you know how everyone's always like
Speaker 2: news Eve sucks, it's always to let down.
Speaker 4: There is bar humbug about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: My sweeping statement is news Eve rocks.
Speaker 2: I love Eve Yes, and like even over the weekend,
Speaker 2: people like we've been you know, it's just another nine
Speaker 2: it's doing to let down. We'll find some new mates,
Speaker 2: get a vibe, go somewhere cool, go to a festival.
Speaker 4: Make it a thing like lives for living. And I
Speaker 4: think it's a really like important way to bring in
Speaker 4: the new year.
Speaker 3: Are you are you doing to me personally?
Speaker 4: No? Not at all?
Speaker 3: Okay I did.
Speaker 4: I didn't realize you hated it.
Speaker 3: I absolutely hate it.
Speaker 4: I think we need to change the narrative around New
Speaker 4: Year's Eve.
Speaker 1: I wonder why I hate it because I generally love everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're going to do a deep dive on that. What
Speaker 1: it says about my personality.
Speaker 4: Life enthusiasts, I am. I need to get around New's Eve.
Speaker 3: I always it. Do you go out in public or
Speaker 3: is it just at home?
Speaker 2: Now? I'm generally generally at home, like a home a
Speaker 2: house party, or maybe.
Speaker 1: I went to like, you know, when my dad was
Speaker 1: living in Adelaide, I went to a big, you know,
Speaker 1: city celebration and it was really I was only about
Speaker 1: nine and it was really scary, like everyone was drunk
Speaker 1: and loud, and.
Speaker 4: There's some PTSD.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm just like, oh no, I'm stay inside again.
Speaker 2: What is your sweeping statement? Because it's Thursday and it's
Speaker 2: my favorite day of the week. I'm going to give
Speaker 2: away our favorite prize, a soda stream art.
Speaker 4: For your sweeping statements. Wonderful for better.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, So Thursday, so we're doing this.
Speaker 3: Swan's Sweeping Statements.
Speaker 1: I have confessed it must be a hangover from the
Speaker 1: eighties when they first became available, But I think a
Speaker 1: personalized number plate is the epitome of call I love them.
Speaker 2: I wish we had room to take calls on just
Speaker 2: personalized plates now because tomorrow, let's do it, because I
Speaker 2: just want to hear specifically. I don't know why the
Speaker 2: ones with numbers and them really irk me, so I
Speaker 2: want to hear what people have got with numbers.
Speaker 1: I saw one today. It's Laura spelled with a seven
Speaker 1: instead of the L.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you get the vibe of it, but it's
Speaker 1: obviously Laura was taken.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love Laura, but I hate that number. What is
Speaker 2: your sweeping statement, Rachel?
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 5: Bring back plastic utensils and.
Speaker 3: Hy and straws. Ah?
Speaker 2: Men?
Speaker 5: What coffee cup?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Ah, no, not coffee cups.
Speaker 4: No, they've got the.
Speaker 5: Takeaway cardboard coffee cups. Now with the cardboard.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the cardboard was awful.
Speaker 1: All your coffee gets soaked like a sponge into it,
Speaker 1: and it's awful.
Speaker 5: I agree.
Speaker 4: And the texture of the soggy cardboard on your it's beautiful.
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm going to get a cold sol.
Speaker 4: I really do, miss.
Speaker 2: I mean, I love dolphins, but I really missed the
Speaker 2: plastic straws from macas.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you I do too, you know, Rachel, do
Speaker 1: you miss plastic straws as well?
Speaker 5: I love a plastic straw. I really miss them.
Speaker 1: I miss them too, And you know what, I've found
Speaker 1: a place where you can get them where I'm not
Speaker 1: going to tell you, because me and my daughter go
Speaker 1: and then we order a drink, and then when they
Speaker 1: go to get the drink in their back is turned.
Speaker 3: We snatch handfuls of them and put them in.
Speaker 4: I want a plastic straw, dealer, that's cool.
Speaker 3: I'll bring them. I'll send you some. Rachel. We've got
Speaker 3: a good stash.
Speaker 4: Rachel. We're going to send you a soda stream Art
Speaker 4: push for Better.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get in trouble with that.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Laura, Hello, Hi, Hi, what is your sweeping statement?
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, but all men who wear waistcoats?
Speaker 1: Oh, this is controversial because Sampang, who is the thinking
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking woman's crumpet.
Speaker 3: Always wears a waistcoat. What do you say to that, Laura?
Speaker 5: Oh, if the waistcoaster, that's great.
Speaker 2: They're terrible, Laura, And a waistcoat under a suit just
Speaker 2: looks you.
Speaker 5: It's not necessary.
Speaker 4: Correct the suit does the talking?
Speaker 3: Jack?
Speaker 1: You are very close friends with Sampang. Have you told
Speaker 1: him that his waistcoats have got to go.
Speaker 2: I absolutely have, and I would like to think Pangy.
Speaker 2: I'd love panging I feel like he takes my advice.
Speaker 4: I don't know. This year and have you been paying attention?
Speaker 4: There were a lot more shirts.
Speaker 1: And no waistcoats. So he's moving away from the sty
Speaker 1: like on being Humphrey be Bear and more into just
Speaker 1: like a normal man.
Speaker 3: I get it. I get it.
Speaker 2: And Pangy's ripped and shredded, like put a tight shirt on,
Speaker 2: brochels you go.
Speaker 3: But that's why he wears the waistcoat. You understand.
Speaker 4: Why What does that do?
Speaker 1: It holds it all in, makes him look real, you know,
Speaker 1: in ways it's a fitted.
Speaker 4: I think it distracts from it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm flattering Laura.
Speaker 4: So to stream art is on its way to you.
Speaker 3: Hello Eliza, Hello guy?
Speaker 5: How you going good?
Speaker 6: Thanks? How are you?
Speaker 3: I'm so good? What's your sweeping statement?
Speaker 5: The newborn stage sucks?
Speaker 3: Why? Who have you got one at home now?
Speaker 5: Or I have one at my feat currently six months old?
Speaker 3: Well that's not really newborn, is Oh you're saying.
Speaker 5: I'm coming out of the trenches now, coming out of
Speaker 5: the trench.
Speaker 3: What is it that sucked about it?
Speaker 5: I think you just screamed for the first four months
Speaker 5: of his last it's running to people who say, like,
Speaker 5: is this the best time in life? Well, no, I'm
Speaker 5: sure it will be, but well they can cry.
Speaker 2: You are a vibe and it's so refreshing to hear
Speaker 2: people be honest about it.
Speaker 5: It's great, but man, it's yeah, it is tough.
Speaker 1: Whenever my friends are pregnant having a baby, I tell
Speaker 1: them exactly what you just said. I said, because you've
Speaker 1: got to know no one told me.
Speaker 5: No one told me. I don't think either.
Speaker 3: You should have called me, Eliza.
Speaker 1: I would get get ready for the biggest catastrophe of
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 3: But it gets better, and I reckon there's two types
Speaker 3: of people.
Speaker 1: One who love the newborn stage and then lose interest
Speaker 1: as they get older.
Speaker 3: But you might be like me.
Speaker 1: I love it now. Leo's about to turn sixteen. I've
Speaker 1: got a thirteen year old eleven.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, perfect, it's great.
Speaker 2: About a decade to hang in there, Eliza. Eliza, We're
Speaker 2: going to send you a Soda stream Art and we're
Speaker 2: going to send your Priceline vouch as well to buy
Speaker 2: yourself some nice skin.
Speaker 4: Tall or something.
Speaker 1: Absolutely we are Eliza and let's finish with you Andrea.
Speaker 3: This is a big sweeping statement.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I reckon that the Beatles' music is rubbish and
Speaker 6: it sounds like it's been written for a kid.
Speaker 3: Ha ha.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, there are some this for example, yes, hello,
Speaker 1: yes you're right, but then there's like, you know, amazing
Speaker 1: ones as well.
Speaker 3: Come on, I mean, it.
Speaker 6: Doesn't compare to Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2: Come on, don't correct talking about it.
Speaker 3: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: I mean, this woman becomes more and more of an
Speaker 1: icon with every passing day. There's a video doing the
Speaker 1: rounds at the moment of her performing live with the
Speaker 1: singing in her hand that exact song in a crowded auditorium.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know we don't endorse that, but she
Speaker 2: is the best chick in the world right now.
Speaker 3: Whipping the script.
Speaker 4: I love her.
Speaker 3: Let's do this, Swan's sweet. What are your own popular opinions?
Speaker 1: What are the things that people think you should never
Speaker 1: ever say, but you think it.
Speaker 3: Down to the ground thirteen twenty four ten, give.
Speaker 4: Us a call, kick us off, Swanee.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's my sweeping statement. When you're at a restaurant
Speaker 1: and you're looking at the menu. Mains are overrated and
Speaker 1: the sides are where it's at. Sides are better than
Speaker 1: main meals. And in fact, just this week went out
Speaker 1: to celebrate Leo's birthday. Yeah, we ordered exclusively from the
Speaker 1: starter's menu.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3: Starters, that's it.
Speaker 2: I often do that with friends and we try all
Speaker 2: of the starters, but we still get to the mains.
Speaker 2: I just worry I'm necessary. But are you still full
Speaker 2: after only sharing all the sides?
Speaker 3: Hey, when you order one of every side?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, really yep, sides and starters. I could very
Speaker 1: easily outlaw from my life any sort of main anything
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: But don't you find sometimes the sides are like that
Speaker 2: big Yes, so I order three Yeah, okay, someone's doing
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 4: Three three caviar prawn toasts.
Speaker 1: The restaurants side go to alserving wedges and sour cream,
Speaker 1: not a caviar prawn.
Speaker 4: Okay, I like it. It's a good sweeping statement.
Speaker 2: And also, over the last five years, restaurants have really
Speaker 2: lifted their sides games.
Speaker 1: Yes, so just order off that. Don't feel the pressure
Speaker 1: to conform. It's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: My sweeping statement is look alike competitions suck and need
Speaker 2: to be stopped.
Speaker 3: Where do they exist? Though?
Speaker 1: I only ever see them when there's like a Jason
Speaker 1: Bateman look alike competition and Jason Bateman wins it.
Speaker 4: Okay, let me give you my research I've done.
Speaker 2: So it all started swinging in October when there was
Speaker 2: a Timothy Shallow may Look like contest in New York City.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it went viral. It was all over, TikTok all over.
Speaker 3: Did anyone look like you?
Speaker 4: New sites? No, they never do.
Speaker 3: Unless it's person who turns out.
Speaker 2: And for this one, he turned up, so it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: well was it the idea just to get him there?
Speaker 2: Then there was one in Dublin for Paul Mascow.
Speaker 4: Was he turn up?
Speaker 2: Then there was one in London for Harry Styles? No
Speaker 2: one looks like Harry Styles, guys give up. Then there
Speaker 2: was one in Chicago for Jeremy Allen White. Now this
Speaker 2: is where it's really dumby.
Speaker 3: Did he turn up?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Okay, But there's been one in Sydney for Heath Ledger,
Speaker 2: which I find a bit weird.
Speaker 4: That's odd, that's odd.
Speaker 2: And recently yeah, just over the weekends now December seven.
Speaker 3: Jack Charles, Jack Charles, they're.
Speaker 2: Trying to do one for Jacob e Lordie. Now, guys,
Speaker 2: none of you look like Jacob alord Okay.
Speaker 1: The reason that Jacob Elordi is a thing is because
Speaker 1: no one in the world, in the world looks like
Speaker 1: Jacob Elordi. No one is that perfect.
Speaker 4: No. Please.
Speaker 1: Also, here's another community service announcement. Yeah, if you are
Speaker 1: listening to this and you think I might turn up
Speaker 1: for that, I've got a chance of winning.
Speaker 3: You don't.
Speaker 1: You don't look like Jake Balordi. Nobody looks like Jacob Elordi.
Speaker 1: Stay at home and.
Speaker 2: It's a Saturday. Find something better to do, find a friend,
Speaker 2: get a hobby.
Speaker 3: I absolutely, really I agree with you.
Speaker 2: I like clickbait, right, I like scrolling these gossip sites.
Speaker 2: I don't want to see headlines about lookalike competitions.
Speaker 1: Having said that, if Cameron Mannheim had a lookalike competition, I.
Speaker 3: Would sorry kill it to google it.
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan, so let's get unfobular Swans.
Speaker 3: Sweet? Yeah, what is the truth that you are scared
Speaker 3: to say?
Speaker 1: Alias high that is how you pronounce it.
Speaker 3: Chrisy is interesting.
Speaker 1: Taking away the menu.
Speaker 3: Too earlier, I feel like it should be a horrible event.
Speaker 1: Okay, So how long do you like to spend with
Speaker 1: a menu?
Speaker 3: Oh, Chrissy, I like to study it because the thing
Speaker 3: is you might order something, but then you might want
Speaker 3: something else.
Speaker 1: So do you like to order and then say to
Speaker 1: the waitress I'm just going to keep this here for
Speaker 1: later because i want to read something later.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: I do do that, Christian. See you and I would
Speaker 1: not be able to dine together because I look up
Speaker 1: the menu before I get there, And more often than not,
Speaker 1: I sit down at the table and the waitress goes
Speaker 1: to give me the menu, and I'll say, no, that's fine,
Speaker 1: thank You'll have the eggplant parmesana on a side of polenta.
Speaker 4: Hips you've already decided.
Speaker 3: I don't even have to look.
Speaker 4: Alaya, Alia, Alia, Ahlia, Ahlia. What about keeping one menu?
Speaker 4: I always just say, hey, we'll keep one.
Speaker 3: That is a great idea.
Speaker 6: Yeah, look, I'm happy to keep one.
Speaker 3: As long as I've got one left on the table,
Speaker 3: I'll be happy.
Speaker 2: I just think keeping all four, if you're at a
Speaker 2: table of the clutter.
Speaker 4: Is just too much waiting. Oh no, I agree, with that. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 4: I get it, but let's fire the waiters. Hey, I
Speaker 4: leave if they take them away. A double past the
Speaker 4: gladiated two for you, Alia.
Speaker 1: Hello, Adam, Hi, what is your take on blue eyed people?
Speaker 1: Keep in mind that you're speaking to two of them now, Adam.
Speaker 6: To you, all love and respect to you. But blue
Speaker 6: eyed people are freak like genuinely they just the beady eyes,
Speaker 6: like the pupil too small, the eye color blue. That's
Speaker 6: not natural unless the ocean, you know.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad to hear this, Adam, because have you
Speaker 1: got brown eyes or blue?
Speaker 6: I've got brown eyes. That it might be coming from
Speaker 6: a place of like loathing.
Speaker 1: See, I love this because I've never heard a person
Speaker 1: with brown eyes say I love my brown eyes. They're
Speaker 1: always saying to me because mine are very blue, you
Speaker 1: would hate me, Adam, Like, look away, I'm possessed. But look,
Speaker 1: I've never understood it because I love brown eyes. I
Speaker 1: think they're beautiful. But everyone with brown eyes wants blue ones.
Speaker 6: I don't, though I need. I want blue eyes so bad, Okay,
Speaker 6: I also want to be a freak.
Speaker 2: I think sweeping statement. The hottest people in the world
Speaker 2: have blue eyes really.
Speaker 1: I love brown eyes. I just think they're so warm.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you aggressive than you.
Speaker 2: Hey, Adam, We're going to send you a double paths
Speaker 2: to seat Gladiated two in cinemas. Now, we've got to
Speaker 2: be quick here, Beck, what's your sweeping statement?
Speaker 5: I definitely does not belong in the drink hard agree.
Speaker 2: Yack hard disagree, double pasta Gladiated too for you and
Speaker 2: finishing with Carolyn's.
Speaker 3: Carolyn, what is your sweeping statement? Family?
Speaker 5: Chris springles Fu.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, tweet so Annie Renee, You've got
Speaker 1: Uncle Chris and Uncle Chris.
Speaker 3: You've got Little Polly and Poly for good.
Speaker 4: Christmas is over.
Speaker 3: Christy Swan Show is a nov podcast.
Speaker 1: For more great comedy shows like this, head to Noble
Speaker 1: podcast dot com.
Speaker 3: Don Are You