WEBVTT - Break Ups That Burn 0:00:01.440 --> 0:00:03.279 I've definitely dated, my fast share. 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:07.040 Of douchebags, my time just get tingling, hilling my balls. 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:10.040 Oh I'm spiraling, Oh my God, tell us. 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:13.080 Everything flame emojis slept right and center. 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:16.239 Matt loves a bit of God and. 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:18.360 I need to affect you back. I really need you 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:18.560 with that. 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:21.439 I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever. 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:23.960 Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it, 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:24.680 it's probably shit. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.320 Hi city dot Com for you. I'll be a bloody 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:29.200 single and alone with ten cats for the rest of 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:32.839 my life. On today's episode of Where's Your Head Out, 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.879 We're giving you our top ten tips on how to 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:35.800 get over a breakup. 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:38.200 We are spilling all the tea about our most recent 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:39.680 breakups with Kurra and Josh. 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:47.400 Stay tuned, It's going to get juicy. Where's Your Head 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:51.200 At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.600 reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.280 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:12.280 intimate details, advice, and much more. Hey Matt, Kyana, so 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:14.840 good to see you here. Surprise you rocked off after 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:16.560 your antics last night. 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:19.560 What do you mean he's throwing me under the bus already, 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:19.920 I am. 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:21.800 After we left, did you hang around and have more 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:22.400 tequila shop? 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:26.160 Hold on one second, let's rewind. What did we do 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:27.000 last night? 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:28.840 We went for a double date. 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:31.480 We went to the We did nothing better than life 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.759 this Wednesday night with a couple of beers, which, yeah, 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:35.400 double date. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.679 So that's quite an extravagant date for you, Matt, considering 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.480 you put in minimal effort. Was it was that free 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:43.920 tickets you got? Surely? 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.600 Well, now you're throwing me under the bus? How was 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:48.200 your night? Then? 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.440 My name was good. We had a lot of fun. 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:52.800 I got to meet the new girl in Mat. 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:53.680 Is it worse? 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.680 Is it worth mentioning that they had matched on hinge 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:00.880 before and had spoken they had. 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:05.360 So basically Matt was like, I'm bringing this girl. I 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:08.959 went on probably like six or seven dates with this guy, 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.959 so you've actually met him before, and so you actually 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:16.960 added him on Instagram and noticed. 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:19.000 That she was following him and he was following her 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:23.720 and oh no, oh no, So I just did a 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.399 couple of feelers are and I asked her did some research. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.720 Apparently they matched on hinge and had been speaking for 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:30.079 a bit. 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:33.880 So so basically we were on dates on a double 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.440 date with two people who had already been speaking. It 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:39.360 was quite interesting. But that's dating in twenty twenty one, 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:40.280 right y. Yeah. 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.360 And Melbourne's a very small place. 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:46.440 So very small, very insular. Yeah, it just feels all 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.720 too connected. My favorite part of the day, just before 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:54.680 we move on to other topics, was we actually stayed 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:57.360 at the restaurant pretty late because the theater finished late 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.720 and we were all leaving and the SRUP was actually 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:04.520 closing up and they started mopping the floors. And that 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:08.120 was literally so swave like. He was like so cool, 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.080 come and collected throughout the whole day, rolling off his 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:14.720 best lines. And then they told us like, okay, you 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:18.480 have to pay, didn't they They were kicking us out, basically, 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:23.040 and that went to the toilet and was bammed beyond ice, 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:28.120 literally almost stacked it head first, and I was crying 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:31.880 with laughter. She was crying. The guy who I was 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:33.200 on a date with was crying. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.800 It was the best people stopping on the freshly mopped floor. 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:39.880 And then I put my arms out and the owner, 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.200 I guess, this seventy eighty year old man was standing 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:46.040 there to catch me did not not look. 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:46.480 Like catching me. 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.720 And then the guy who was moughing, this young kid 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:51.920 just quickly grabbed me from stumbling. Yeah, like you said, 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:53.400 I'd been on fire all night, and. 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:55.760 Iiced highlight of mine. 0:03:55.480 --> 0:04:01.080 I think I made her laugh though. All right, let's 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.560 dive into this breakup episode. It doesn't matter if your 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:06.160 first or six breakup, they never get any easier. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.600 Yeah, one hundred percent. I reckon that a piece of 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:11.920 your heart literally dies every time you go through a breakup. 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:16.839 But in saying that they are amazing for self development, 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:20.680 I think we all learn such valuable lessons about ourselves. 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:23.280 We find out things that we want in a partner, 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.800 things that we don't want in a partner. So yeah, 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:30.159 they're amazing for our growth. But Matt Tummy, what's the 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.640 hardest breakup other than your most recent breakup? What's the 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:35.320 hardest breakup that you've gone through? 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.440 Definitely would have to be my ex of two years. 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:44.680 We started dating when I was twenty two, and when 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:46.720 I started to date her, when I asked her to 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.640 be my girlfriend, I was really going through a rough 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:50.200 patch in my life and I was like, oh, I've 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:52.760 got to make some changes with what I'm doing. So 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:56.480 I remember I got a girlfriend, I started wrestling, and 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:58.520 I started like a bowling team, believe it or not, 0:04:58.680 --> 0:04:59.080 all in my. 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:01.719 In the space of like a week. 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:03.520 I was just like, I'm going to change my life 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:06.640 now and get out of this rut. And she was 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.120 just really good to me, like her energy, the way 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.760 she was and like I literally saw like my endgame 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:13.120 with her, like the rest of my life. 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:13.800 Yeah. 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:17.640 So then when she broke up with me, I took 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:19.279 it really bad. And I took it as a shock 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:22.120 because obviously we had our problems. No relationship is perfect, 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:23.400 and I'm not going to sit here and say that, 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.159 but I thought it was nothing we couldn't work on. Yeah, okay, 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.080 so I said, like, let's work on it, and then 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:30.760 she just came back with like, no, she didn't. She 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:31.760 didn't want to work on it. 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:34.120 So you thought she was the one and maybe she 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.080 didn't see you as her end game. 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:37.960 So yeah, and that was pretty brutal for me. 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:39.000 To take artbreaking. 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.200 Yeah, I didn't take it too well. 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:44.960 And I remember, so we broke up at mine, and 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:46.880 then a couple like a week later, she said, all right, 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:48.520 let's catch up and see where you're at. 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:50.520 Let's see where where our heads are at. 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:54.400 And then we caught up at this the local tire restaurant, 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.839 and I remember sitting opposite her and I was just 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.279 like trying everything I could to get her back. 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:02.960 And then unsuccessful successfully. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:04.960 I remember even like the waiter came up and was 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:06.720 asking for our order, and I couldn't even look at him. 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.560 I was just sitting there crying, weeping at the table. 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:12.360 People on different tables were like getting uncomfortable because I 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:13.520 was just sitting there just weeping. 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:14.480 That's awful. 0:06:15.160 --> 0:06:16.960 But yeah, like you said, you need to go through 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.440 that to grow as a human. And I've learned a 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.080 lot about myself going through. 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:22.840 That, right, Yeah, and you do. 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:25.919 So what about you, Anna, what's the hardest breakup that 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:27.640 you've been through other than your most recent. 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:32.599 I mean, I would definitely say my relationship that went 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:37.680 for six years. I was with him throughout my whole twenties, 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:41.039 and I got to twenty six and I realized that 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.479 I needed to be by myself and to spread my 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:48.000 wings and see who I was outside of that relationship 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:50.920 because I had literally grown up with him. And that's 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:54.720 the hardest thing about going through a breakup is you're 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:57.800 not only losing your partner but you're also losing your 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.599 best friends, so it's such a loss. And we also 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:05.719 lived together, so it was the biggest life adjustment and change. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:09.320 So I think that was really difficult, and I knew 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.760 that I had really hurt him in breaking up. I 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.680 still feel guilty about it even to this day. So yeah, 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:18.640 I think that was probably like one of, if not 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:20.440 the hardest breakup. 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.480 To six years or so on three your twenties, you're 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:26.560 like growing with them, you're learning life with them. Yeah, 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:28.800 it's even more hectic when you break up. 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:30.800 Yeah, well we were together. We met when I was 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.360 nineteen and we were together until I was twenty six, 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:34.840 so that's you know. 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:36.920 Going through a lot of life lessons with him. 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:39.400 I think as well, like I felt like if I 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:43.080 didn't take time to also be single, if I ended 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:45.120 up getting engaged to him or married to him, I 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:49.200 might regret that that I never had those young single 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.040 years of my life and kind of put that to bed. 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:54.800 And I think that's a big reason why a lot 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:57.600 of people break up, because they're not ready to fully 0:07:57.600 --> 0:08:00.960 commit to someone because they don't feel like they've explored 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.600 and seeing what's out there. I think you need to 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:08.200 realize that the grass isn't greener. And I think if 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:12.480 I went into a relationship today, I could comfortably go 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:15.520 into it. I know that the grass isn't greener, and 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:17.960 I think you learn that through experiences. 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:20.120 And it wouldn't have been fair to stay with him 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:22.360 if you did have those doubts in your mind, and 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:23.200 those thoughts. 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:26.160 One hundred percent like it would have constantly plagued my mind. 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.400 And so that's how I know it was the right decision. 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.080 So what are the different stages of a breakup? 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:36.280 Anna? There's like the so there's denial, We've all been there. 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:37.559 Is that the first stage? 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:41.640 That's the first age. Then there's the anger, the bargaining, 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:46.920 the depression, the worst part, and finally the best part 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:49.480 of a break up the acceptance, when you're just at 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.040 a point where you're like, I've accepted it. You know, 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:54.000 I'm not going to try and beg for them. But 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:57.839 what part do you think that you were at with 0:08:57.880 --> 0:08:59.439 your exit the tire restaurant. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:03.080 I was definitely at the bargaining stage. 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:05.800 I was throwing off offers like I'll be like this, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:07.480 if you take me back, I'll do this. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:11.640 I can change, I'll be like this, But no. 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.400 I'll totally change my whole personality. Take me back. 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.839 I'll be a different guy. But then again, she probably 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:17.640 didn't want a different guy. 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:22.280 She just Yeah, So the bargaining definitely didn't work that time. 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:25.600 So it's back to what's the next stage? Depression? 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:30.959 Yeah, off to depression depression. So your ex was obviously 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:35.880 breaking up with you, but research has actually found that 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:39.600 women go through more emotions and physical pain after a 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:43.199 breakup compared to men, and then deal with the pain 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:47.199 later or they move on and never fully heal from 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:48.559 a breakup. Do you agree with that? 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:49.360 Yeah? 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.880 I don't feel like I've ever completely healed from any 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.480 of the breakups I've gone through. I obviously have found 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.800 closure in them, and I'm not like dwelling on them 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.840 or like obsessed with them anymore, but I feel like 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.000 there's part of me that hasn't completely healed from each 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:03.079 breakup I've been with. 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:07.400 Wow, so pieces of your heart is still mildly broken 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:08.840 from all of your breakup? 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:09.360 Yeah. 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.840 I mean when I get in love with someone, I like, 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:15.600 I love them, and I'm like committed to them, and 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:17.760 I might give them everything and I invested in them. 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:20.680 So for me, it's hard for me to completely heal 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.440 once my heart's broken. Honestly, I think it stems from 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.360 when I was younger seeing my parents break up, and 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:28.880 I think I never saw my mom fully get over 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.240 my dad, and at such an impressionable age, around like 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:34.240 twelve thirteen. Yeah, I think that left more of an 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.959 impression on me than I originally thought. 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:38.240 Yeah, and I. 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.000 Guess that I'm like my mum in that way that 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:43.199 like it takes me a while to move on. Obviously, 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:45.920 I eventually move on and I find closure, but a 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:48.160 bit of me still yeah, still hurts. 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:49.840 And you're so close to your mama. Would have been 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.720 so hard seeing her go through heartbreak when you're so young. 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.080 Yeah, yeah, Well she did a good job at hiding it, 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:56.520 but obviously you could tell. 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:56.840 It was there. 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:58.319 We can tell. Yeah. 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:00.439 Okay, guys, So now to the part of the show 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:01.720 that everyone's been waiting for. 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:03.360 Drum roll, please. 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:09.600 Excited, get excited for this one. Tell me about how 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:13.760 your dating life has been since since Love Islands coming 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:14.280 off the show. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.319 Well, obviously I've never spoken about my breakup with Josh. Yes, 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:19.880 this is all my relationship. 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.320 Really, this is the first time you're publicly going to 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:25.120 speak about your relationship and your break up with Josh. 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.320 I mean, yeah, I think so. 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:29.360 Does that give you a little bit of anxiety? 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:32.480 It does, So I get really bad anxiety, and that 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.959 always calls it anxiety because. 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:36.400 You know anxiety. 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:40.600 It's giving me a bit of anis me mentioned that, Yeah, 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.360 it is the first time I'm going to speak about it. 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.280 I think with my relationship with Josh, as you know, 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:49.559 when we first met, it was like sparks and fireworks 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:51.800 and we were obsessed with each other, and we were 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:55.200 for months after the show. When you meet someone in 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:59.880 a bubble scenario where there's no outside distractions. We literally 0:11:59.920 --> 0:12:02.200 had our phones taken off us, so we were giving 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:08.000 each other twenty four seven attention. Josh and I went 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:12.679 from a lockdown scenario in Love Island, which it technically 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.920 was lockdown, like we couldn't contact our friends and family, 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.839 We had no phones, there was no outside distractions, only 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:21.840 people that they brought in. We were very much in 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.240 a lockdown situation to probably like two and a half 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.160 months of freedom, but it wasn't really freedom because our 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.840 lives were so strange at that time because we just 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:37.000 come off the show winning it together and then went 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:41.880 into another lockdown situation. So our whole relationship of a 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:45.120 year was a majority of the time spent in lockdown, 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:48.280 and I guess it did have harsh Do. 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:50.800 You think if you guys were normal in a normal like, 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.120 if there wasn't a lockdown, you guys would have been 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:53.720 any different? 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:58.600 No, I don't think that Josh and I were meant 0:12:58.600 --> 0:12:59.400 to be together. 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.320 Was working, you were working, You don't think it would been. 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:03.840 Any different likes, I don't think so, and I think 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.520 Josh would agree with me as well. I think our 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:12.240 personalities just clash. So our relationship was very The highs 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:16.280 were really high, and we were obsessive over each other 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:20.839 to an unhealthy level, but then the lows were extremely low, 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:26.120 so you could call it toxic. It was toxic, yeah, 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.280 and I mean we've both said it, so it was 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:32.280 a toxic relationship. It didn't mean we didn't have really 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:35.360 great times. And it's hard with social media because when 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:38.000 we were obsessed with each other and having those great times, 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:40.640 we'd post about it. But when we were arguing till 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:45.199 like two in the morning, screaming at each other, there like, 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:47.720 we weren't posting about it. Because what am I supposed 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:47.880 to do? 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:51.400 Hey, guys, did you feel a lot of pressure from 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:55.440 the outside world. Obviously winning and everyone was invested in 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.839 your relationship, did that bring a certain amount of pressure 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:58.440 to it as well. 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:03.040 Yeah, Like we obviously we're from different states, so I 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:08.120 am Melbourn based and Josh is Sydney based, and we 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.160 really wanted to live together and to give it a go. 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.640 I think there was cracks that started to form before 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.520 we moved in with one another, and we thought that 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.080 the solution would be to be living in the same 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:24.280 state and not to be doing like a long distance relationship. 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:26.840 But I guess when we moved in with one another, 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:32.520 we realized that those cracks were funded. Like fundamentally, our 0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:36.440 personalities just didn't align. And that's nothing bad on Josh 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.440 and nothing bad on me. It's just we weren't what 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.560 parts right for one another, What parts you think didn't 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:49.120 It's hard to say. We just see things differently and 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:49.960 have different views. 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:51.960 Values weren't the same. 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.720 Correct, and that's something that you can't change. 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.080 You think you're different parts of your life totally. 0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:01.560 Like I've always dated guys older, like much older, and 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.360 Josh is a year younger than me. I've never sated 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.080 even any one my own age, and I think that 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.400 was an adjustment. Guys are way more immature as well 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.920 than girls generally at this age. Right, It's really I'm 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:19.280 really generalizing, but I think as a whole, girls normally 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:21.000 date they I date down. 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.840 I think my ex was nine years ten years older 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.800 than me, and I felt like I was more emotionally 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.000 mature sometimes in certain situations. 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.520 In your own brain, I think you are an exception. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.720 Like not a lot of guys at twenty five would 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.400 date someone nine years older, Right, that's an exception to 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:41.480 the rule. But yeah, like I think for me, like 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:44.040 we yeah, there was just fundamental things that didn't really 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:47.280 align and it caused a lot of conflicts between us 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:53.520 and things like like my jealousy. Just we've spoken about 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:56.360 how we're both quite jealous, and sometimes I felt like. 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.200 What would you get jealous about? 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:01.360 It's just really hard. Like obviously I was in a 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.440 six and a half year relationship and had none of 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:06.160 these issues. But when you come off of a show 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:08.840 and you've just like fallen head over heels in love 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:13.160 with this guy, and you get your phones back and 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:16.880 then they get hundreds and hundreds of girls messaging them 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.440 and you know what it's like you had the DM 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.280 I definitely do. You don't sleep well at night when 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:23.920 stuff like that was going on. 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:27.280 So you didn't trust Josh or you just didn't feel 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:28.600 comfortable with these messages. 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.840 I think it was a bit of both. I think 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:38.800 maybe I could have had more reassurance in the relationship. 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:44.120 But yeah, again, like that's like fundamentally, yeah, I work 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:45.200 because of things like that. 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:47.680 I was obviously there through your whole relationship, you and Josh. 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.920 I'm really good friends with both of you, and I 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:54.480 feel like that like there was nothing worry about there, 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.920 Like that's just like it was happening to me as 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.400 well at the same time. You just like they come 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:01.720 and they go those messages, you know what I mean, Like. 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.040 I know, I mean, look, I think it was the 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:07.640 bigger picture of like it was a fresh relationship. There 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.000 was the pressure of the show. We were the last 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:15.120 standing couple, I think, and there's like we didn't really 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:20.119 set up boundaries because everything just happened so fast and 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.800 we were like slag in and out of into stay. 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.479 Like you said as well, the pressure for coming from 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:29.199 the show and I'm keeping that like look up on 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.360 your Instagram, like the look of you guys, like being 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.560 the couple, and like that's what everybody wanted to see, 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:35.119 cute photos of you guys together. 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:35.600 Yeah. 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:37.200 And I remember, like a lot of my friends, a 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:39.159 lot of people say how cute are Anna and Josh, 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.679 Like they're like on Instagram, They're so cute. Yeah, And 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:43.320 I'd sit there and think, fuck. 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:49.000 Like, yeah, we had issues, yeah, like everyone does. But 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.119 I think ours just got really intense at the end 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:54.800 of the relationship, and when we did break up, it 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:58.359 was definitely the right time, like it needed to happen. 0:17:58.800 --> 0:17:59.960 I was there that night. 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:05.919 I think before we decided to end the relationship, we 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.879 did go to couples counseling for the last few months 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:14.560 because we felt so much pressure to stay together because 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:17.240 we didn't want to let everyone down. And I think 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:21.720 that was really hard, Like I felt like, although I 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:25.480 was really sad about the relationship ending, I also felt 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.080 like I was letting everyone down who believed in Josh 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:31.800 and I as a couple and everyone who spent hours 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:33.480 watching the show and. 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:36.200 Then hours later getting invested in you guys. 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:40.360 Like yeah, yeah, And I think that was way more 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.920 pressure than I could have ever imagined. And I wanted 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.240 to do everything I could to make it work, and honestly, 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:47.840 we tried. 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:48.840 Yeah. 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:51.240 So it was me and my ex you and Josh 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:53.600 for his birthday, having a couple of drinks. 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.320 And yes, yeah it got pretty drunk. 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:58.879 I got pretty drunk, and yeah. 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.160 We started arguing and. 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:03.240 Just really snowballed into something. 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:04.959 That and from that fight we didn't recover. 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:09.800 Yeah that was a while ago now I think it was. 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:12.640 I think we've been broken up now for eight months, jeez, 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:15.040 so almost known. 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:17.040