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Speaker 1: This is the Fits In with Her with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: We've been talking about the number one thing that breaks

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Speaker 2: couples up. It's not cheating. I was going to say,

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Speaker 2: she's not stealing, it's not gambling habits, is it? It's

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Speaker 2: a habit that most women have that men are sick of.

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Speaker 2: Going out on a limb. Here going on a real limb.

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Speaker 2: Lu Anne Ward, as a relationship coach from Western Australia.

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Speaker 2: She says the number one thing that men are sick

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Speaker 2: of is women nagging. So it's time to rethink your behavior.

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad Kate isn't here for this. Think. Here's

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Speaker 2: what she says. He thinks you're telling him when you

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Speaker 2: nag a guy, he thinks you're telling him he's not

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Speaker 2: good enough. You can't nag a man into being better.

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Speaker 2: The professional matchmaker went on to say.

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Speaker 3: As a guy, you feel better that it's coming from

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Speaker 3: a female.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you cannot schedule him into self growth. He's not

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Speaker 2: your fixer upper. He's not your renovation project. He's not

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Speaker 2: your work assigning. You cannot.

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Speaker 4: You were talking about nagging, so I thought I better

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Speaker 4: get up.

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Speaker 2: You cannot optimize him with the right systems and enough supervision.

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Speaker 2: If you continue to nag, he will leave. He is

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Speaker 2: not your project.

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Speaker 3: Can I get some headphones for Kate place? Actually get

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Speaker 3: two piers of headphones for this break.

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Speaker 4: Whenever you do this, you're not I'd rather not have

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Speaker 4: no headphones.

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Speaker 2: When a man is serious about becoming more, he doesn't

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Speaker 2: need a woman to remind him, redirect him, or restructure

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Speaker 2: his life.

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Speaker 3: Have you been known to nag?

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Speaker 1: Ok?

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Speaker 4: I don't like the word nagging. I just think that

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Speaker 4: when you now this is now Ollie, get me some

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Speaker 4: more headphones, Get me some more headphones.

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Speaker 2: Get me some more headphones. Nagging?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Do you look?

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Speaker 4: I think nagging is a.

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Speaker 2: Cop out word. You cannot nag a man into being better.

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Speaker 4: So no, But let's have a look at what the

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Speaker 4: nagging is really let's call it nagging. What the continual

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Speaker 4: request of doing something is really about. It's not it's

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Speaker 4: it's a bigger it's a bigger issue within the relationship. Now,

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Speaker 4: the person who's doing the nagging, for example, is unheard,

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Speaker 4: feels unheard.

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Speaker 2: Right, That's why they're nagging. So that for the other

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Speaker 2: option is they could just do the job themselves, which.

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Speaker 4: Is what men, which is which is which is like

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Speaker 4: a little a little trick that you think you have.

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Speaker 4: Men tend to do things incompetently so that you don't

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Speaker 4: ask them again, Let's be very honest. Can you do that?

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Speaker 4: And in the end the woman will and this is

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Speaker 4: very cliche, the woman will then I don't worry, I'll

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Speaker 4: do it myself, and rather than feeling rejected, the man

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Speaker 4: will inside be thinking Yes.

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Speaker 2: Guys end up doing so much because they can't be bothered.

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Speaker 2: They don't want to hear the nagging. They don't have

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Speaker 2: to deal with.

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Speaker 4: If you're stepped up and actually listen to what the

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Speaker 4: nagging is about. The nagging is I would prefer us

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Speaker 4: to be a team. I'm not your mother, I'm not

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Speaker 4: your coach.

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Speaker 2: Speak to me like a team member. I'm not like

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Speaker 2: nag me.

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Speaker 4: Let's do it. Let's do it together, do you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean? And the other thing is with nagging

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Speaker 4: and white men get offended is that they might have

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Speaker 4: something called rejection dysmorphea.

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Speaker 2: Completely derail this. I was meant to get one up

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Speaker 2: on her Kylie and Ryde.

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Speaker 1: I, guys, I totally agree. I'm coming from actually live

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Speaker 1: on experience. But I think Kate hates such a I mean,

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Speaker 1: Kate hates such a great point. I think men probably

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Speaker 1: take it that the women's are nagging, but don't forget

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Speaker 1: the intention behind all those for cold nagging. It's actually caring,

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Speaker 1: but it's actually being taken the wrong way if the

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Speaker 1: women don't actually say anything about anything at all in

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Speaker 1: the men's life, meaning that you don't care when you

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Speaker 1: start saying nothing, and that's when the relationship broken, And

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Speaker 1: that's what you just felt like. You're so lonely, even

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Speaker 1: though you have someone sleeping next to you, eating with

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Speaker 1: you and doing everything, you feel so lone Finally.

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Speaker 4: That's a very good point. I would be worried for

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Speaker 4: all the men out there who are being nagged or

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Speaker 4: whatever you want to call it. Be thankful that the

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Speaker 4: woman is even talking to you, or was or wasting

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Speaker 4: her breath. Be very worried when the woman stops nagging

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Speaker 4: because she's detached.

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Speaker 2: Given up from you.

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Speaker 3: If it's coming from a good place, it's how are

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Speaker 3: you now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's you know what it is before it's a

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Speaker 2: nag and what it should be. It should be a request,

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Speaker 2: and then it's not a nag. Nag has a connotation

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Speaker 2: to it. Nag has a wine to it? Okay, a request.

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Speaker 2: Hey darling, remember it's been night tonight. But if you

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Speaker 2: have to say that every week, that's a nice thing

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Speaker 2: to say instead of it's been nice.

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Speaker 4: Have a think about your children, for example, right, who

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Speaker 4: are not on the level, who are not equal within

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Speaker 4: the family home. You're the hierarchy, right, ye, they're the rookies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: When you you come in here sometime with and it's

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Speaker 4: like I've asked the kids to do this, Remember, just

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Speaker 4: go just cast your mind back to what that feels

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Speaker 4: like when there are clothes on the floor, or they

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Speaker 4: don't have their soccer boots, or you have to ask

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Speaker 4: them every time. Now, their brains aren't developed enough to

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Speaker 4: work out that that's what they have to do, and

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Speaker 4: it's going to make everything a lot easier and we're

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Speaker 4: working as a team.

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Speaker 3: They're the child.

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Speaker 4: They they haven't learnt those skills yet. Have a think

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Speaker 4: about what that feeling is when you have to nag your.

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Speaker 2: Child to do Just don't treat your man like a child.

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Speaker 4: No, you don't act like a child.

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Speaker 2: You speak to us like children because you think we're

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Speaker 2: acting like children, but really we've got the whole world

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Speaker 2: on our shoulders.

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Speaker 4: Some people don't even like to be told anything because

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Speaker 4: they have childhood trauma about being rejected. It's very frustrating

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Speaker 4: and I didn't want to I'm trying to win Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: What about this, Tom? If you like to nag your husband,

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Speaker 2: call the show and do it publicly on the radio.

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Speaker 2: What does he need to do? Nag him on a

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Speaker 2: cut your phones on my side? Can you just there

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Speaker 2: to me again? I Carl's giving us a call from

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Speaker 2: wattle Grow. Do you want to get involved in the

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Speaker 2: cole I do I do? What did you want to say? Nick?

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Speaker 1: I really need my husband to you know, when you're

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Speaker 1: out watering the lawn or because he likes being a

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Speaker 1: digical man and watering that lawn and mowing the lawn,

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Speaker 1: but just roll up the hose.

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Speaker 4: The hose leaves over it exactly and then you leave

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Speaker 4: the hose. When you leave the hose on the lawn

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Speaker 4: at the moment when it gets hot, it burns the grass.

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Speaker 2: It does. And how would that is that? How you'd

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Speaker 2: say it, Nick? Or would you be a bit more

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Speaker 2: gentle or would you say, darling, I love you so much.

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Speaker 2: Just a quick reminder from a safety point of view,

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Speaker 2: Let's make sure that hose has rolled up properly.

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Speaker 4: No, I'd say something like this, passive aggressive. If you

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Speaker 4: leave that hose out one more time, I might wrap

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Speaker 4: it around your neck.

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Speaker 2: Now, she's not joking at all. Thanks Nick, Cleah and

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Speaker 2: Harrington Park.

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Speaker 1: Hello, good morning guys.

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Speaker 2: Feel free to nag your husband on air this morning.

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Speaker 1: How many hats around the house would you have me?

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Speaker 1: We've got a hat stand next hold them all.

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Speaker 3: Together, mate. This is what my wife's under me about

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Speaker 3: at the moment as well.

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Speaker 2: You're just leaving hats everywhere.

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Speaker 3: She actually bought me a little hat thing that just

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Speaker 3: has down as well. But then to get to certain

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Speaker 3: hats it takes too long. Come so I've just got

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Speaker 3: to leave certain hats out to get to that hat.

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Speaker 2: Lee is not happy. Yeah, that sounds like Bjo's nagging too, Gina,

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Speaker 2: and schofields over to you, Gina, are songs.

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Speaker 1: It's like, it's not the hats, it's the songs.

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Speaker 3: Songs.

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Speaker 1: But everywhere in my house. Yes, they're ugly rubber, and

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Speaker 1: they're under the bune and they're in the bathroom beside

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Speaker 1: the bed. My husband's got about five there and it.

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Speaker 4: Drives and then you trip over them, usually when you're

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Speaker 4: in a fury.

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Speaker 3: Gina's a nagging So when nagging gets too much, Jenna,

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Speaker 3: do you hide them and then does he come after you?

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Speaker 3: Or do you have what's your different plans of attack?

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Speaker 1: I actually get them, throw the straight for the head

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Speaker 1: or a big slap on the back.

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Speaker 2: Awesome nagging. This Morning sits in Whipper with Kate Ritchie

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Speaker 2: is a Nova podcast to walk great shows like this.

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Speaker 2: Download the Nova Player via the App Store or Google Play.

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Speaker 1: The player