Speaker 1: I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
Speaker 2: She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of
Speaker 2: my kissing style.
Speaker 1: We would boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's
Speaker 1: in a trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching the muck.
Speaker 2: I love being love, I love love.
Speaker 3: On today's episode of Where's your Head Out, we're exploring
Speaker 3: rejection anxiety.
Speaker 2: No one likes to be rejected, but what if I
Speaker 2: told you that these emotions could stop you from seeing
Speaker 2: your friends, working, or even thinking clearly.
Speaker 3: We have all the tips and all the tricks on
Speaker 3: how to manage rejection and anxiety whilst dating, so stay tuned.
Speaker 3: Where's your Head Out is a podcast that talks all
Speaker 3: things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Look a bit off today, so apologies in advance. If
Speaker 2: I am not my cherky funny, go lucky yourself. I
Speaker 2: don't know, just a bit off. I've woken up on
Speaker 2: the wrong side.
Speaker 3: Of the bed.
Speaker 1: Maybe have you have you had a coffee?
Speaker 3: I've had two, so maybe you're feeling a bit anxious
Speaker 3: because you had like two early morning coffees.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean I've normally had three by now, so
Speaker 2: maybe my anxiety isn't peaking where it normally is. So
Speaker 2: I'm feeling a bit off. No, I don't know. It's
Speaker 2: just one of those days, you know, sometimes I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe my moon, my Luna's in retro and in the
Speaker 2: wrong galaxy, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Whatever they say, Okay, well, look, I'm feeling a bit
Speaker 3: shitty because something happened in my relationship for the first
Speaker 3: time this week.
Speaker 2: Is what was it?
Speaker 1: I shook to the core. What happened is wild?
Speaker 3: Yeah, geez, I tried to have sex with Michael and
Speaker 3: I got turned down.
Speaker 2: Wait Michael, like turns you down for sex? He said, no,
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 1: Yes, I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 3: Normally I'm the one who'd be like, I'm a little
Speaker 3: bit tired right now, like maybe later.
Speaker 1: But no, I was the one who got full blown rejected.
Speaker 2: So what was his excuse then? What was his turned down?
Speaker 2: How do he reject you?
Speaker 1: Well we had already done it that morning, but he
Speaker 1: had actually gone it.
Speaker 2: So how long after? Was like ten minutes?
Speaker 3: It was that night, but he had just gone out
Speaker 3: to basketball and he came in all hot, sweaty looking like.
Speaker 2: You know, he was looking good, so you were turned on.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he rolled in and I was like, you
Speaker 3: know what, like, let's let's do it.
Speaker 2: At three quarter basketball shorts get you going.
Speaker 1: Stripey.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, he was looking hot, and I
Speaker 3: was like, you know, like.
Speaker 1: Let's let's have sex.
Speaker 3: And normally he's never turned me down. If I'm like
Speaker 3: about it, he's like all on board.
Speaker 2: So this this brings me to think about this, like
Speaker 2: I have definitely turned down Jen in the past, and
Speaker 2: it is like the end of the world. It's like, well,
Speaker 2: what's wrong. Is there's something wrong? Blah blah blah, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I'm just not in the mood right now.
Speaker 2: I mean, like, we've just watched a great movie. I'm
Speaker 2: fully relaxed. The last thing I want to do is
Speaker 2: you know, doing a workout and then having another shad.
Speaker 2: I want to put my retainer in and go to sleep,
Speaker 2: like you know, like I just why is it when
Speaker 2: guys turn down their girlfriend it's blown out of the water.
Speaker 2: But for girls, it's just a normal thing. They're like no,
Speaker 2: I'm too tired, or do you reckon?
Speaker 1: There's a bit of a double standard.
Speaker 2: I reckon, there is here there definitely there definitely is.
Speaker 2: But then again, like there is this this reputation or
Speaker 2: stigma around guys that like it's not that hard for
Speaker 2: us to get up and get ready to have sex,
Speaker 2: is it really?
Speaker 1: Like well, I mean.
Speaker 2: So it's like Jen's who you are.
Speaker 1: But yeah, mainly not.
Speaker 2: If Gen starts kissing my neck, there's a bit of
Speaker 2: blood pumping, I reckon, blood starts going around.
Speaker 3: Look, I've definitely rejected Michael way more times, but I
Speaker 3: feel like I just took the rejection a little bit personally.
Speaker 3: So we want to talk all things rejection in today's episode.
Speaker 1: Let's jump in.
Speaker 2: What is anxiety dysphoria?
Speaker 3: Anda, Okay, So rejection anxiety dysphoria is characterized by extreme
Speaker 3: emotional sensitivity when you get rejected, whether real or perceived.
Speaker 3: So sometimes you can get rejected and someone is literally
Speaker 3: rejecting you. But also there's a lot of the time
Speaker 3: where it's what's playing out in our own heads, Like
Speaker 3: subconsciously you can be triggered. I know that you've experienced
Speaker 3: this as well, Like when something triggers you, and then
Speaker 3: it's maybe something that's more going on internally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think that like, sometimes you can be
Speaker 2: rejected and you're not even feeling like you're rejected. It's
Speaker 2: your own mind playing tricks on you. So yeah, I
Speaker 2: feel like if I'm talking to someone, say like a
Speaker 2: at like a table or a dinner or something like that,
Speaker 2: that even the slightest thing like that I'm looking at them,
Speaker 2: or they like lose concentration for a bit or even
Speaker 2: yawn like for some reason, I feel like that's like
Speaker 2: rejection as well. It makes me feel like they're not
Speaker 2: interested in what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like what do I always say to you when
Speaker 3: we do the podcast, I'm like, let's just look at
Speaker 3: each other, so I can feel like this is like
Speaker 3: a free flowing chat. Like sometimes we get distracted or
Speaker 3: like look on our phones or like we're on our laptops,
Speaker 3: and like that disconnection kind of like makes the conversation lack.
Speaker 1: I would say.
Speaker 3: It's interesting because one of the possible explanations for feeling
Speaker 3: this type of rejection anxiety dysphoria is it can actually
Speaker 3: come from having a parent who was overly critical of
Speaker 3: you or neglectful, which impacts how these individuals view themselves.
Speaker 2: Do you think you fall into that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think my mum was very like a
Speaker 3: perfectionist and would always want me to be the very best,
Speaker 3: and so I think that's definitely impacted me and my
Speaker 3: anxiety and how I like view myself and things like that.
Speaker 2: What about you, Yeah, I think my dad was quite
Speaker 2: critical of me, but like you said, only want the
Speaker 2: best for you. It wasn't like in a nasty way
Speaker 2: or anything. They're just like really like perfectionists. They want
Speaker 2: the best from you and they think that that's well,
Speaker 2: that's probably how they were dealt with when they were parented,
Speaker 2: so that's probably the only way they know how to
Speaker 2: deal with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely. Have you ever been rejected?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, god, yeah, I think that is just like
Speaker 2: if it's from like if we talk, what are we
Speaker 2: talking about, like dating or just general life stuff.
Speaker 3: I mean, it can be whatever, Like what's your first
Speaker 3: memory of rejection?
Speaker 2: Okay, so my first memory of being dating rejected was
Speaker 2: only being on the playground and I really liked this
Speaker 2: girl called Brittany, and I think that was grade one,
Speaker 2: and I like said that I liked her and she
Speaker 2: was like, ill, and that was pretty much it. She said, ill, Yeah,
Speaker 2: she just didn't like me. And I remember being rejected.
Speaker 2: She was the love of my life back then, and
Speaker 2: I from there, like, I don't know, I think I've
Speaker 2: got a thick skin getting rejected because I remember getting
Speaker 2: like rejected from a f your team, the ones I
Speaker 2: took it pretty good, didn't like you know, and it
Speaker 2: just is what it is. And I think my whole life,
Speaker 2: like I've sort of been really good at bouncing back
Speaker 2: from rejection.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what about you? I reckon.
Speaker 3: My first real memory of like, well what it was
Speaker 3: kind of like what I perceived to be rejected was
Speaker 3: when I went to the Blue Light Disco. And I
Speaker 3: remember that so many of my classmates we're talking about
Speaker 3: how guys would ask them to dance at the Blue
Speaker 3: Light Disco and it was like this thing and like
Speaker 3: it was very exciting. And I remember my first Blue
Speaker 3: Light Disco, like no guy asked me to dance, and
Speaker 3: I was kind of like I took it personally, being like,
Speaker 3: what's wrong with me?
Speaker 1: Why did this girl get asked to dance?
Speaker 3: And I did, like it's so minor, but like, I
Speaker 3: think that was my first the first time where I
Speaker 3: kind of questioned myself and was like, is this a
Speaker 3: me problem?
Speaker 1: Am I doing something wrong? Could I be doing better?
Speaker 2: Well? I think the main thing to think about here
Speaker 2: is when you're rejected or stuff like this pop up,
Speaker 2: is it's not a you problem. Sometimes there's a lot
Speaker 2: more so it's not black and white. It's not it's
Speaker 2: not like there's something wrong with you or something wrong
Speaker 2: with them. I think that there's such a gray area
Speaker 2: in there where it could be a whole multiple range
Speaker 2: of things. I think this is what people should remember
Speaker 2: absolutely when they are in this situation of being rejected,
Speaker 2: Like it could be that like that straight up you're
Speaker 2: just not.
Speaker 3: Their flavor exactly, Like that's exactly what I was thinking.
Speaker 3: Like have you ever been on a first date with
Speaker 3: someone and you're like they're perfect, Like they're actually an
Speaker 3: amazing person, they're funny, they're ticking all the boxes, but
Speaker 3: the thing that you just need, like that spark is
Speaker 3: just not there. And like, no matter how amazing that
Speaker 3: person is, you can't fake a spark. So I mean,
Speaker 3: it really has nothing to do with you majority of
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 2: Majority of the time, it could be like I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: they like like you know what I mean, the color
Speaker 2: purple and your color pink, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like just you're not exactly what they're.
Speaker 1: Looking for and exactly.
Speaker 3: And with relationships, there's such an added layer. There's like,
Speaker 3: you know, time is such a big thing, so it
Speaker 3: could be that maybe.
Speaker 1: The spuck is there, but the timing is off, and
Speaker 1: then it's.
Speaker 3: Like there's just so many different things that have to
Speaker 3: align in two people's lives for a relationship to be
Speaker 3: able to work out or to get that second date
Speaker 3: or whatever it might be. So yeah, like I think
Speaker 3: taking things like that personally is so detrimental.
Speaker 2: And I think it's also worth mentioning that they could
Speaker 2: also just be having like they could be having an
Speaker 2: off day like I am tat you know, you could
Speaker 2: just not be there, like ready to be opening up
Speaker 2: yourself to something. You could have literally had a phone
Speaker 2: call before you got out the car, or before you
Speaker 2: went into that situation with your boss and you criticized
Speaker 2: the fuck out of your or you know, like a
Speaker 2: friend has something like that and then it's like made
Speaker 2: you off. So I would not so much take these
Speaker 2: rejections personally as to think, you know, like there's something
Speaker 2: probably going on in their life that is adding to this.
Speaker 2: And yeah, don't reflect on yourself and put yourself down.
Speaker 2: If you're rejected, what rejection would you say? It has
Speaker 2: hurt you the most. I was lining up to getting
Speaker 2: to a revolver on the weekends and I said, no, mate,
Speaker 2: you're too intoxicated. Go have a drink of water. That sucked.
Speaker 2: I was really keen to get in there.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank god. They rejected you. A different
Speaker 1: person right.
Speaker 2: Now, even worse. But I don't know. There's a lot
Speaker 2: like I mean, I think it's pretty documented if anyone's
Speaker 2: watched our Love Island experience that I was probably the
Speaker 2: most one of the most rejected people in the history
Speaker 2: of that show. I've got how many times.
Speaker 3: I think, like you did, he went through a few
Speaker 3: and you didn't really take it that well.
Speaker 2: It depends what you're asking. I think they've got to
Speaker 2: handle that a lot worse than I did.
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, Like people would have.
Speaker 3: The thing about you, which is great is you don't
Speaker 3: get angry, You just get sad. Like you just like
Speaker 3: fucked my life, had a bit of a cry, got
Speaker 3: it out of your system, and just like got back up.
Speaker 2: On the horse, I say, straight back up on that
Speaker 2: horse into the next one. Is there any that stand
Speaker 2: out for you? Are you in?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Like I think with my first boyfriend, who was like
Speaker 3: my first like what I would classify as my first boyfriend,
Speaker 3: when he cheated on me that like six times and
Speaker 3: seven days.
Speaker 1: I think for me that was.
Speaker 3: Like really traumatic because because I was so young, I
Speaker 3: didn't have like the wisdom and the knowledge to be
Speaker 3: able to like handle it, and so they definitely I
Speaker 3: reckon When it first happened, like I was very angry
Speaker 3: and was just like fuck you, fuck you. But then
Speaker 3: after kind of like the dust settled, I was like,
Speaker 3: is it me? Could I have done more? Was I like,
Speaker 3: you know, like really strange things like was I not
Speaker 3: good in bed or something?
Speaker 1: Or could I have done this better?
Speaker 3: Or you know all of those things which are totally
Speaker 3: it's not reality, right, Like, if someone's gonna cheat on you,
Speaker 3: they're gonna cheat on you.
Speaker 1: There's nothing that you can do to change it.
Speaker 2: And you're and let's put it into perspective, if you're
Speaker 2: a very beautiful woman, very took a lot of boxes
Speaker 2: and all that. Like recently, what's happened with this whole
Speaker 2: Adam Levine situation. Like everyone says that he was married
Speaker 2: and had kids with a Victoria Secret Model, and everyone
Speaker 2: knows like that Victoria's Secret Models.
Speaker 1: They're apparently like the most.
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah. Yeah, but he literally cheated on
Speaker 2: her multiple times with multiple women. It doesn't so much
Speaker 2: reflect on the person what I was trying to say before,
Speaker 2: and more on just the situation and all that sort
Speaker 2: of stuff. So there's no point blaming yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think like that's the really crucial thing
Speaker 3: to take out of rejection is Yeah, it's got nothing to.
Speaker 1: Do with you and a lot to do with them, no.
Speaker 3: Matter who you are, what you're doing, what your personality is.
Speaker 2: I do love to look on the bright side as well,
Speaker 2: And I think that when you get rejected, when say
Speaker 2: you get rejected from dating, or like when I got
Speaker 2: dropped from the Ones or when I didn't get into
Speaker 2: ReBs or anything like that, it's just character building and
Speaker 2: it makes for you to be a stronger person because
Speaker 2: you deep down and you find something in your self
Speaker 2: that like makes you better and it makes you know
Speaker 2: how to deal with this sort of stuff, and you
Speaker 2: can take away the lessons from it.
Speaker 3: I feel, Yeah, what emotions do you reckon that you
Speaker 3: feel the most when you are rejected? Like in relationships,
Speaker 3: I get anxious, Yeah, I get very anxious.
Speaker 2: I think that's like I reckon that's my main emotion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anxious, Well, anxiety is assuming, Yeah, I reckon.
Speaker 2: That takes over my body.
Speaker 1: If you get like really bad anxiety, it's pretty crippling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, also sadness, but I think that like anxiety, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like I hate that feeling though as well. Like it's
Speaker 2: I say that all this stuff, but then it's like
Speaker 2: when you're in that moment and you're anxious and your
Speaker 2: mind's like spiraling, how fucking terrible is that?
Speaker 1: It's awful?
Speaker 2: That makes me feel so bad?
Speaker 3: And the thing is is like, really, there's nothing that
Speaker 3: anyone can say that's gonna pull you out of that.
Speaker 1: You have to kind of like go through it a little.
Speaker 3: Bit, and then you need to be like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 3: putting a stop to this, Like let's do the breathing meditation,
Speaker 3: let's do all of.
Speaker 1: The things to try and make me feel better.
Speaker 3: But when you're in it, when you're in that hole,
Speaker 3: like it's really really tricky to pull yourself out of it.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I say to Jen all the time, like
Speaker 2: I'm flu in this fortext aspiral and can you just
Speaker 2: grab me by like my shirt and pull me out
Speaker 2: like metaphorically. But it's not as easy. And I put
Speaker 2: a lot of pressure on her to do that, and
Speaker 2: I think that that's not fair to put it on
Speaker 2: someone where I should probably learn myself how to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to all take responsibility for how we act.
Speaker 3: And if you know that you're someone who spirals, then
Speaker 3: you need to like also find coping mechanisms.
Speaker 1: And I know we both talked about this.
Speaker 3: We both it's like a daily thing that we work
Speaker 3: on because we both spiral.
Speaker 2: I think that my mum was so good at like
Speaker 2: realizing how to like pull me out of it, that
Speaker 2: I've now put that responsibility on my partners or Jen,
Speaker 2: my partner Jen, And I think it's a bit of
Speaker 2: a burden to put on her.
Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, I reckon when I get like rejected,
Speaker 3: Like if I was rejected in dating I remember the
Speaker 3: last guy who I mean, I would classify it as
Speaker 3: a rejection.
Speaker 1: It had kind of ended.
Speaker 3: We were kind of seeing each other for a while
Speaker 3: and like this event happened where we kind of fell out,
Speaker 3: Like it was like this big blow up. He sent
Speaker 3: me this massive long message kind of like ending things.
Speaker 3: I sent him a long one back, and then there
Speaker 3: was just nothing. There was just no response. Not that
Speaker 3: I was expecting one, because it wasn't like I didn't
Speaker 3: ask him questions or something, but like you know when
Speaker 3: you just like secretly want someone to message you again,
Speaker 3: that didn't happen.
Speaker 1: So I took that really hard, like a rejection.
Speaker 3: And I was trying to like think back to that
Speaker 3: because I remember I was really struggling without like I
Speaker 3: lost my appetite completely, Like even like the thought of food,
Speaker 3: like it just made me feel nauseous, and when I
Speaker 3: would eat food, it would make me feel really sick.
Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the worst, those long sleepless nights.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because when you're super anxious, the only thing worse
Speaker 3: than having anxiety all day is to have it all night.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So like I went through a stage.
Speaker 3: The only way I could get to sleep with I
Speaker 3: would take like a melatonin tablet because I was just
Speaker 3: like and even that wouldn't really do a lot, but
Speaker 3: like just to.
Speaker 1: Just to switch that brain just to switch it off
Speaker 1: even just.
Speaker 3: A little bit, which obviously, like we don't cane taking
Speaker 3: sleeping tablets, but I think sleep is sometimes really important
Speaker 3: for yourself well you know what I mean, Like sleep
Speaker 3: is important to like trying to like keep moving forward
Speaker 3: in your life. And then the other thing that I
Speaker 3: kind of thought was that my productivity was just so low, unmotivated,
Speaker 3: totally unmotivated.
Speaker 1: It's all you can think about.
Speaker 3: Like this rejection kind of like takes over your mind
Speaker 3: and you're like, what have I done? What can I
Speaker 3: do better? Are they going to message me? Is it
Speaker 3: over for good?
Speaker 1: What if? And it's just like a tornado of just negativity.
Speaker 2: I remember I was seeing this girl and we went
Speaker 2: on one day and she was like, oh, blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: you like, I'm not going to sleep with you all
Speaker 2: this sort of stuff, And I was like, yeah, cool,
Speaker 2: I'm not really I don't mind, like I'm not sort
Speaker 2: of guys going to like you know. So I was like, yeah, cool,
Speaker 2: I don't sleep on the first day either, Like that's.
Speaker 1: Not that's what a life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, like I'm not gonna push you, you
Speaker 2: know me. So then we went on another one and
Speaker 2: I remember people when I dropped her off at home,
Speaker 2: we were like making out, and then she was like
Speaker 2: come upstairs with me, like to her apartment, and I
Speaker 2: remember being like, nah, not tonight. And I remember she
Speaker 2: took that rejection so bad, like she was like, well
Speaker 2: I was, I was testing you anyway. I don't want
Speaker 2: you to come up like fully like cracked it, like
Speaker 2: slammed the door. She got out, and I say to say,
Speaker 2: I never spoke to her again.
Speaker 1: So why did you reject her?
Speaker 3: Because normally, like you're you're not like opposed to like
Speaker 3: a one night stand. What made you say no on
Speaker 3: the second time? Was it kind of like playing her
Speaker 3: at her own game?
Speaker 2: I think, so, yeah, you know I hate games. But
Speaker 2: I was just like, you know, I thought that, like,
Speaker 2: you know, you said no to me the first time,
Speaker 2: like I may as well just give it back. I mean,
Speaker 2: she was definitely my flavor, definitely my type, but I
Speaker 2: just yeah, I just said no.
Speaker 1: In high. Do you regret rejecting her?
Speaker 2: I mean, well, no regrets.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I mean it's not a rejection. You were
Speaker 1: kind of just like prolonging it. But then I guess
Speaker 1: it didn't work out.
Speaker 2: The last thing I saw over her was her slamming
Speaker 2: the door and walking to her apartment. Oh no, I
Speaker 2: mean I bumped into her out a couple of times.
Speaker 2: And she's now got a boyfriend, so there's not really
Speaker 2: much talk about that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, right, so there's no like hard feeling, no bad.
Speaker 2: But no, nothing at all.
Speaker 3: No, how do you support someone who is getting rejected?
Speaker 3: So let's say your best friend gets rejected and you
Speaker 3: can see that they're spirally, how do we support them?
Speaker 2: I think it's best to ask him how you can
Speaker 2: help him first. Don't assume anything, because that could probably
Speaker 2: make things worse. If you're just dive in and you're like, here,
Speaker 2: let's go out and you take them out, and then
Speaker 2: they get rejected again. Imagine that that'd be fair. That
Speaker 2: would be pretty frue. That's my idea. So I think
Speaker 2: ask him what the best thing to do is and
Speaker 2: then and then go from there, and I'm sure you
Speaker 2: can help him out.
Speaker 3: I think it's also good to remind people that these
Speaker 3: feelings pass. I mean, hopefully this isn't their first rejection.
Speaker 3: Once you get over that initial rejection and then you
Speaker 3: actually realize that it is something that you do get
Speaker 3: over and it is just a feeling that does pass.
Speaker 3: It's a good reminder because sometimes you do feel like
Speaker 3: you're spiraling down a dark hole that you can't get
Speaker 3: out of.
Speaker 2: So what would you say to someone that is scared
Speaker 2: of being rejected? Is there any tips you could give
Speaker 2: them to like maneuver that and how to go from there?
Speaker 3: I mean my advice is, like, in life, we all
Speaker 3: get rejected. It's a part of everyday life. And I
Speaker 3: think get comfortable with rejection would be my advice.
Speaker 1: Like, it's gonna happen, it's inevitable.
Speaker 3: If you stop doing things so that you don't get rejected,
Speaker 3: you're actually just holding yourself back. So you're actually stunting
Speaker 3: your own personal growth. And I think the more rejection
Speaker 3: you get, the stronger you become.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I put people put so much
Speaker 2: emphasis as well on dating rejection as well. I get
Speaker 2: that that's it hurts your ego and it affects you,
Speaker 2: but like, really, what's the difference betwe like, you know,
Speaker 2: going up to a girl shooting your shot or shooting
Speaker 2: your shot in the DMS, what's the difference between that
Speaker 2: and literally not someone not letting you in in traffic?
Speaker 2: Because that's a form of projection, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: what's the difference.
Speaker 3: That's you know what I'd prefer for someone not to
Speaker 3: reply to my DM when then someone like people can
Speaker 3: be evil on the roads, Like I had this guy road.
Speaker 1: Raging me the other day and I was like, what
Speaker 1: are you getting out of this? Like I'm having a
Speaker 1: good day? Are they doing a bit of road raging that?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Just yeah, I keep a little bit triggered sometimes.
Speaker 3: It's actually one of my biggest pet peeves and one
Speaker 3: of my biggest X When I would date guys and
Speaker 3: I was in the car with them and they would
Speaker 3: like start like swearing and yelling and beeping at people.
Speaker 3: I was so turned off them, Like I literally stopped
Speaker 3: seeing a guy because he started road raging in the car.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, ill, you're so gross control your.
Speaker 2: Dating? Was it too?
Speaker 1: Like three days?
Speaker 3: I really like this guy, and honestly seeing him act
Speaker 3: like that, I was like, you're a fucking infant.
Speaker 2: Well, when I remember when Jen and I first started
Speaker 2: seeing each other, probably around the same time, we now
Speaker 2: refer to that as me in the cat fishing stage
Speaker 2: of gen where I wasn't showing my full emotions like
Speaker 2: that some guy cut me off on Chapel Street and
Speaker 2: I was just like real calm and yeah, I'm feel
Speaker 2: calm and collected about it. And she was like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: I've known a lot of guys that would get like
Speaker 2: really angry at that. And I'm sitting there like no, no,
Speaker 2: not me, no, And now I would just let it real.
Speaker 1: See, I think that's unattractive.
Speaker 2: But it's not like I get out the window and
Speaker 2: yell at them. I just sort of be like you
Speaker 2: fucking dog, you know, like so you.
Speaker 1: Say it under your brain?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I get it, okay, like when someone's like
Speaker 3: fully yelling or like sticking their like finger up.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm not like that, are you right?
Speaker 2: No, I don't have anger management in that way. I mean,
Speaker 2: like I just get like you fucking dogs. You fucking
Speaker 2: you tell me off, I'm going to come and murder
Speaker 2: you in your chats.
Speaker 3: Look when we'll look, Matt, when you get rejected, your
Speaker 3: body actually changes.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna talk about these changes next.
Speaker 3: Okay, Matt, have you ever been rejected by someone, like, say,
Speaker 3: like a girl You're in a situationship and they kind
Speaker 3: of like end it and you get like physical symptoms
Speaker 3: of that anxiety rejection.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think like mainly the one I'd say that
Speaker 2: gets the worst would probably be like that you have,
Speaker 2: like my body starts to ache and yeah, I feel
Speaker 2: like the best way to describe it is I feel
Speaker 2: like my like my knees start to hurt and I
Speaker 2: just crumble down into this thing. So if I send
Speaker 2: like a really risky message and then they reject me
Speaker 2: back or like I get really anxious, I do that,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I reckon that when I get really like anxious
Speaker 3: after that type of rejection or just anxiety in general,
Speaker 3: I get like really achy risks as well. Really yeah,
Speaker 3: And I think one of the reasons why we get
Speaker 3: that is because the brain has activated the flight or
Speaker 3: fight response.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense, because then like my muscles will
Speaker 2: start to swell and will start to hurt, and like
Speaker 2: I feel really like, yeah, like my body's crumbling on me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: even like my heart will actually start to hurt. So
Speaker 2: like sometimes I say that like the ultimate rejection would
Speaker 2: be probably like a breakup and then like you just
Speaker 2: want to tear your heart out and like you know,
Speaker 2: throw it away and just start again.
Speaker 3: Oh what it's making me feel so sad, Like just
Speaker 3: the thought of that feeling of like when you're at
Speaker 3: your absolute lowest point. Funny that you say that, actually,
Speaker 3: because there's been a lot of cases. Actually, there was
Speaker 3: a story recently that came out where this guy who'd
Speaker 3: been married for a very long time, I think like
Speaker 3: fifty years, he actually died of heartbreak when his wife
Speaker 3: passed away.
Speaker 2: You see those tiktoks all the time where they are
Speaker 2: like these people together, she passed away. Yeah, they're sad.
Speaker 3: It's really sad, but it's also really beautiful because it
Speaker 3: kind of like is that thing where like you just
Speaker 3: can't live without that other person, like they really are
Speaker 3: your other half.
Speaker 2: So I love that makes me love it. I love love.
Speaker 1: We all love love.
Speaker 3: But it is really like devastating, like just to think
Speaker 3: of like someone being that heartbroken that their hearts literally.
Speaker 2: Jen sends me those tiktoks a lot, and like I've
Speaker 2: seen a watchman even start to tear off from them.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so sad.
Speaker 3: Something else that we experience when we're feeling rejected is
Speaker 3: a fluctuation in hormones, So that real like spike, Like.
Speaker 1: I guess what you were talking about before. When someone cuts.
Speaker 3: You off, you're feeling rejected in the car and you
Speaker 3: kind of like go from zero.
Speaker 2: To one hundred when like they slam the door on
Speaker 2: the way out. That's just all those hormones just flowing
Speaker 2: in and they just don't know how to do it,
Speaker 2: so they go to anger.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, it's interesting because when we're in love, our
Speaker 3: body releases things like dopamine, cortisole, oxytocin, and these chemicals
Speaker 3: actually make us happy and keep us focused on the
Speaker 3: person we love.
Speaker 1: But when we feel rejected, our brain produces.
Speaker 3: Cortisole, and these chemicals actually cause stress, so they make
Speaker 3: you you feel way more stress, way more on edge.
Speaker 3: I know I feel super on edge if I'm experiencing
Speaker 3: any sort of rejection.
Speaker 2: No, my brain must be producing that in fucking overdrive.
Speaker 2: That's stress chemical. Really, it's fully working today, I reckon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, you want to like essentially like live a
Speaker 3: stress free life so that you don't like get disease,
Speaker 3: And obviously that's easier said than to say.
Speaker 2: Far right, I'd love to live that life, but I know,
Speaker 2: obviously there's just normal life stuff that get in the way. Though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's obviously highers than lows, but I think it's
Speaker 3: more saying like, if you can minimize your anxiety and
Speaker 3: minimize your stress and try and talk yourself off the
Speaker 3: ledge and like try and like stop putting your body
Speaker 3: into a fight or flight kind of response, if you can,
Speaker 3: then you should really try really hard to do that.
Speaker 2: So it goes to say, like when people get rejected,
Speaker 2: or when I've been rejected in the past, I think
Speaker 2: that you can relate to this as well, that you
Speaker 2: get like stuck on that rejection and you start up
Speaker 2: absolutely you start obsessing over it and all your thoughts
Speaker 2: or you're in a dialogue, become so obsessed with it.
Speaker 2: You want to know what went wrong, You want to
Speaker 2: know why this happened to you, like we're saying before,
Speaker 2: and like, yeah, I think that that's like it, Like
Speaker 2: I said, that's not a good way of coping with it.
Speaker 2: It just because it's just so far from what the
Speaker 2: truth probably actually is. But your brain takes you on
Speaker 2: this like this map where you're just going down these theories,
Speaker 2: these rabbit holes of stuff that aren't true, and then
Speaker 2: just probably put you in a more state of anxiety
Speaker 2: and stress place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the thing about rejection is sometimes someone rejecting you
Speaker 3: makes you want them more, Like maybe you didn't even
Speaker 3: want them that much at the start, but the moment
Speaker 3: that they reject you, you're like, actually, now this is
Speaker 3: everything I've wanted and some so I think, you know,
Speaker 3: things like writing lists of like pros and cons and
Speaker 3: like really like looking at the situation without rose colored
Speaker 3: glasses on is super important.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people get sucked in by that.
Speaker 2: Once they get rejected, they go, oh, actually I want
Speaker 2: you now if no one rejects.
Speaker 3: Me, yeah, no one rejects me. I want to have
Speaker 3: the final there. I want to be the master of
Speaker 3: my own destiny. I want to be in control, Like
Speaker 3: we all want this sense of control in our lives,
Speaker 3: and I think sometimes when you lose that, that feeling
Speaker 3: of being out of control is really overwhelming. Something I've
Speaker 3: experienced as well, like I mentioned before, is that loss
Speaker 3: of appetite and having a really sore stomach.
Speaker 1: Like I know that sometimes before.
Speaker 3: Even realizing that I'm anxious, I get a sare tummy
Speaker 3: and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, am I sick? Like have I eaten something?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And then I'm like, actually, take a minute to think
Speaker 3: about it, and I'm like, no, I think I'm just
Speaker 3: like super anxious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, mine's probably just like my heartbeat starts raising and
Speaker 2: I just feel like all my thoughts like just get
Speaker 2: obsessive over that topic.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just consumes me, it does, and I can't
Speaker 2: focus on anything else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's full of Well, look, we want to help
Speaker 3: you guys cope with rejection anxiety.
Speaker 1: So we are going to talk all things coping's next, Okay.
Speaker 2: So let's give some advice on how to deal with
Speaker 2: rejection anxiety. And I think do it. I think the
Speaker 2: best way to go into this is remember that you're
Speaker 2: always going to get rejected at some point, like we
Speaker 2: said before, if it's at a job, if it's in dating,
Speaker 2: if it's at the supermarket. You know, like it just
Speaker 2: happens all the time, and it's from the littlest thing
Speaker 2: a significant thing to the biggest thing. It just depends
Speaker 2: on the person and how they take it and how
Speaker 2: they feel.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like that's such a good point, Like let's
Speaker 3: remember that you are not alone, Like every single person
Speaker 3: on the planet gets rejected, whether it's like to a
Speaker 3: small level to a bigger scale, Like let's look at
Speaker 3: Chloe Kardashian. She's been rejected recently on the episode of
Speaker 3: Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're all over that yet, Tod
Speaker 1: not up to date my new seed.
Speaker 2: I follow them all. I follow all e news and that,
Speaker 2: so I see it all.
Speaker 3: But yeah, like Tristan has broken her trust so many times.
Speaker 3: She's been rejected, not just on a personal level between
Speaker 3: both of them, but their relationship has been publicized to
Speaker 3: the whole world and everyone has given their judgment on it.
Speaker 1: And like she is a pillar of strength.
Speaker 3: Like watching how she's handled it, like you can see
Speaker 3: it's really like breaking her.
Speaker 1: But like she's kept going.
Speaker 3: And you know, sometimes it's good to have people to
Speaker 3: look up to who you can like you can look
Speaker 3: at her and go, Wow, she's done it.
Speaker 1: I can do it. Like if she can get through
Speaker 1: everything that.
Speaker 3: She's got through on a public forum on a hugely
Speaker 3: large scale, I can pick myself up and get over
Speaker 3: Tom from down the road, who's not all that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean for her to keep like coming back
Speaker 2: from that is amazing. It shows how what her persilience resiliencelience,
Speaker 2: and how yeah, she just can really handle herself.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I think to do that as well, you
Speaker 3: need to remind yourself of your self worth. Like building
Speaker 3: self confidence and self worth so important. And I know
Speaker 3: that when you do get rejected, you tend to kind
Speaker 3: of question yourself or put yourself down or ask what
Speaker 3: am I doing wrong? But something that we definitely advocate
Speaker 3: for is self love, like showing your self kindness, daily affirmations,
Speaker 3: daily affirmations, continuing to put yourself out there and not
Speaker 3: let rejection hold you back, and on.
Speaker 2: That, validating your own feelings. So like hold a space
Speaker 2: where you can, you know, validate those feelings and really
Speaker 2: feel them, really tapping into them and understand why you're
Speaker 2: feeling that way and how to not get there again.
Speaker 3: Hold space for yourself and like you know, I think
Speaker 3: it's sometimes easy to keep yourself busy and not like
Speaker 3: think about things and not talk about them. But find
Speaker 3: a friend who you can really open up to and
Speaker 3: talk things through with. And you know, it can be
Speaker 3: someone who's non judgmental, who you know is going to
Speaker 3: hear where you're coming from, but also someone who isn't
Speaker 3: gonna just agree with you all the time as well,
Speaker 3: or someone who can exactly like I think we all
Speaker 3: and I can only speak for myself, but sometimes it's
Speaker 3: easier to talk to people who were just going to
Speaker 3: be like they're a dick, he's a fucking idiot, and
Speaker 3: like just like make you feel good. But sometimes you know,
Speaker 3: it can be a bit of like a bit of
Speaker 3: tough love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And also I reckon as well. What I reckon
Speaker 2: is maybe you do the rejection. Maybe you reject that
Speaker 2: negative talk from yourself. So like if you start exacting,
Speaker 2: if you start talking to yourself negatively, like reject that
Speaker 2: you don't give it back to someone else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I reckon, Like when I was dating, and like
Speaker 3: I would just like once I got like rejected by
Speaker 3: one person, I would just move on to the next
Speaker 3: and like keep that flow happening. Like I would always
Speaker 3: be out. I would always make sure I was busy,
Speaker 3: always on dates. But if like something ever got me down,
Speaker 3: I would always kindly if I was thinking negatively in
Speaker 3: my head, I would always be like, Okay, Anna, we
Speaker 3: don't want to think about this. This is going to
Speaker 3: bring down the vibe. Let's move on and like kindly
Speaker 3: move my thoughts on in a really kind and loving way.
Speaker 2: There's also in every rejection. Like I said earlier, there's
Speaker 2: always a lesson to be learned. So like when you
Speaker 2: get rejected from a girl, and might there might be
Speaker 2: a way that you attacked it. You're a guy, you
Speaker 2: went up to him and you said, like, you know,
Speaker 2: it was just like a really shit pick up one
Speaker 2: or really not a nice way to go about it,
Speaker 2: like you slid in there. Dam So there's a lesson
Speaker 2: to be learned there, Like when I got rejected from
Speaker 2: a footy team, when I went back to that before,
Speaker 2: but like there was a lesson to be learned, like
Speaker 2: I had to train harder, I had to be fit up,
Speaker 2: you know, And there's always a lesson to be learned
Speaker 2: in every scenario. And I think it's very important when
Speaker 2: you get rejected to see the lesson that is there
Speaker 2: to be learned.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, when I got cheated on, I had pretty low
Speaker 3: self esteem and I think I was kind of like
Speaker 3: willing to let him walk all over me, and he
Speaker 3: did walk all over me. And I think from that
Speaker 3: moment on, I never ever let someone treat me like that,
Speaker 3: and I made a stance on it. I was like
Speaker 3: I will never be treated like that again. If I
Speaker 3: see any ounce of behavior coming through it's done. Like
Speaker 3: zero tolerance to.
Speaker 2: Bullshit was the other lesson not to date fuck boys.
Speaker 1: Yes, but it's really hard sometimes.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately they don't have like a tattoo being like, yep,
Speaker 3: this is one here.
Speaker 2: Surely you can sniff a fuck boy out from a
Speaker 2: mile away, you know.
Speaker 3: What, you'd think that, But there's just some clever fuck
Speaker 3: boys out there, Like there's ones that you just they
Speaker 3: come a bit left field. It's hard because like if
Speaker 3: someone's like attractive, like ticking all the boxes, like you know,
Speaker 3: they're an eligible bachelor, it means that not only you're
Speaker 3: going to find them attractive, but other people are going
Speaker 3: to as well. And if they're getting that larger amount
Speaker 3: of attention, then, like you know, those fuck boy tendencies
Speaker 3: can sometimes come around. But I do believe that every
Speaker 3: fuck boy will change for the right person, and.
Speaker 1: That doesn't that doesn't that doesn't mean that you should
Speaker 1: try to change them. I think they need to want
Speaker 1: to change for you.
Speaker 2: Does a lefer change its spots?
Speaker 1: I'm still trying to work it out, to be honest.
Speaker 3: I think that people grow, and I think that men
Speaker 3: can be really immature and do some pretty shitty things
Speaker 3: as they grow up.
Speaker 1: But I think the main thing is to keep.
Speaker 3: Evolving and keep learning and keep doing better and wanting
Speaker 3: to do better. I think the wanting to do better
Speaker 3: is the main thing, because you know, we can all
Speaker 3: be shitty and act like we did when we were eighteen.
Speaker 1: Like I've treated guys like not.
Speaker 3: The best sometimes if I didn't like them, like yeah,
Speaker 3: and that's things that I regret would not do again.
Speaker 1: But that's because I've wanted to change actly.
Speaker 3: But no one's perfect and we know that, Like we're
Speaker 3: not saying we are not perfect. It's just about like
Speaker 3: wanting to do better.
Speaker 2: I reckon you said before to speak to your friends
Speaker 2: and family people around that support you. I'mbiased, I rekinon.
Speaker 2: The best one is go get professional help if it's
Speaker 2: actually consuming you and like it's taking over all your thoughts.
Speaker 2: I think speaking to a professional if it's like a
Speaker 2: cotline that you can call or booking in something just
Speaker 2: we always recommend.
Speaker 3: That absolutely, speaking to someone who is training to help
Speaker 3: you and who can listen and hear for like warning
Speaker 3: signs and you know they have like really good advice
Speaker 3: and things that you can implement that will really change
Speaker 3: your life.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: The last thing that I think, which is like something
Speaker 3: that I tend to do, is to catastrophize situations. So
Speaker 3: like I you know, let's just say someone rejected me,
Speaker 3: I'd be like, my life is over, everything is done,
Speaker 3: have no point in living.
Speaker 2: Bac dramatic over the like not well to me, the
Speaker 2: most unlikely.
Speaker 1: To you, it's insignificant. But to me, my life is ending,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, you know, like look
Speaker 1: at me. You've seen me go through a breakup. I
Speaker 1: was okay actually with help bad.
Speaker 3: I wasn't too bad with a couple of there was
Speaker 3: a couple but like we're going to have them.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like I have a tendency to catastrophize things.
Speaker 3: And you know, when it's your own life and you
Speaker 3: feel out of control, like it's something that sometimes happens.
Speaker 3: So you know, I think sometimes having like counter arguments
Speaker 3: against those.
Speaker 1: Really cool beliefs that like your life is.
Speaker 3: Ending is good to try to remind yourself that life
Speaker 3: will go on, things will get better.
Speaker 1: You've done this before and you.
Speaker 2: Can do it again. I agree, I think that is
Speaker 2: a good way to do it. So I think it's
Speaker 2: that time of the show Anna where we ask you
Speaker 2: to ask us where our heads are at.
Speaker 3: Let's do it, okay. First question it comes from Brontie.
Speaker 3: She says, I'm hating the dating scene at the moment
Speaker 3: because I always get ghosted or rejected by guys. It's
Speaker 3: honestly taking a toll on my mental health and confidence.
Speaker 3: How can I get more resilient?
Speaker 2: Don't stop, go put yourself out there. I feel that,
Speaker 2: like you, once you keep getting rejected, you're going to
Speaker 2: get you get your skin will get thicker and you'll
Speaker 2: get used to it. And I mean not every guy
Speaker 2: is your one. You might think they are, but the
Speaker 2: one that you won't will won't reject you, and it
Speaker 2: will be there and that will be your one. I
Speaker 2: feel yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think as well.
Speaker 3: Something like that really changed my mindset is when I
Speaker 3: would go on dates. Instead of having the mindset of
Speaker 3: like I really want them to like me, I would
Speaker 3: change my mindset to be like do I like them?
Speaker 1: Because sometimes we're.
Speaker 3: So focused on being accepted by people who we date
Speaker 3: that you know that rejection can feel a lot worse.
Speaker 2: If you're like I think I've said this before, like
Speaker 2: turn it into like fund so putting so much pressure
Speaker 2: on like dating. Make it like fun again, you know,
Speaker 2: like go out there and just have fun with it. Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: they might reject you, then be like thank you. Next
Speaker 2: as Ariander Grande, you know, I just just go on
Speaker 2: to the next one. See what the next guy can do.
Speaker 3: He absolutely, I'm like, do fun dates, go bowling, have
Speaker 3: a laugh, enjoy life, Like at least you can potentially
Speaker 3: make like a new friend out of it, Not that
Speaker 3: you probably want to be friends with this person, but
Speaker 3: like you know what I mean, like make it such
Speaker 3: a fun date that even if it doesn't work out,
Speaker 3: you don't feel bad about it.
Speaker 1: Like I think I've felt the worst about dates where.
Speaker 3: I've gone on them, and I've been like super nervous
Speaker 3: and a bit shaky, and like I can totally get
Speaker 3: into my own head with dating in that regard.
Speaker 1: Like I remember I went on this date with this
Speaker 1: guy and.
Speaker 3: It was just like the thing after thing after thing
Speaker 3: kept going wrong, Like I think the place that we
Speaker 3: were going to for dinner, the road had closed off
Speaker 3: so we couldn't actually get there, And then he was
Speaker 3: having a full meltdown and I was trying to be
Speaker 3: like strong for him, being like no, no, no, it's
Speaker 3: totally fine, like we'll just go here, blah blah blah. Anyway,
Speaker 3: we were both like an hour late to the date
Speaker 3: because of this road closure. Then we finally went to
Speaker 3: this like restaurant, and he was like a bit annoyed,
Speaker 3: and then I was like a bit shaky and like
Speaker 3: not having fun and like I just like went to
Speaker 3: the bathroom and I was like, Okay, I just need
Speaker 3: to totally change the vibe of this. And I went
Speaker 3: back out there and I was like, Okay, let's have
Speaker 3: some fun. This has been stressful, Like let's just enjoy this.
Speaker 3: You know. There was like a game's arcade across the
Speaker 3: road from the restaurant, and I was like, let's go
Speaker 3: to the game's ArKade, like let's do something like spontaneous.
Speaker 1: And it ended up being a really good date.
Speaker 3: But if I stayed in that negative, like stressed out
Speaker 3: mind frame, it probably would have been a shitty date.
Speaker 2: I think that's something else people could do as well,
Speaker 2: is and I think this is what I would love
Speaker 2: someone to arse and tell me how this goes for
Speaker 2: them is get themselves like a journal and before they
Speaker 2: go on a date. I don't write the guy on
Speaker 2: top or the girl and then write like what they're
Speaker 2: thinking before they go on the date, where they're going,
Speaker 2: and then after the date what they think went wrong,
Speaker 2: like you know what I mean, like recap every single one,
Speaker 2: and then you can look back and say, what have
Speaker 2: I learned from this date? What was their pros, what
Speaker 2: their kinds? Like a fool like thing, and then I
Speaker 2: think that would be the fuck.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of homework for people like.
Speaker 2: These people get like I mean, it's it's something that
Speaker 2: they could do and they could like literally like you know,
Speaker 2: and then they could look back on and see where
Speaker 2: their date went wrong or what I exactly they could
Speaker 2: take into the next one, you know, and really, like
Speaker 2: we said before, whole space for their feelings. They could
Speaker 2: write down how they felt before they went on the date,
Speaker 2: how they felt when they came back. So because you know,
Speaker 2: we all forget stuff. Our mine runs away from me,
Speaker 2: you know, I think they could be a good spot.
Speaker 2: They could flick back instead.
Speaker 1: I totally get what you mean.
Speaker 3: And if like you don't want a journal, I think
Speaker 3: the thing the key point that Matt's making is take
Speaker 3: a lesson out from every single situation, Like what's the
Speaker 3: lesson here? Yeah, Okay, So this next one comes in
Speaker 3: from Chrissy. She says, I've been on five dates with
Speaker 3: this guy and all of a sudden he has ghosted me.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling super rejected.
Speaker 3: I can't eat, i can't sleep, and I'm feeling really
Speaker 3: overwhelmed and my friends don't understand.
Speaker 2: Help Chrissy, do you know where he lives? Bernie's house?
Speaker 2: Obviously fuck with Yeah?
Speaker 1: There, Like, who does that to someone?
Speaker 3: Like? You can't go someone after five dates together or
Speaker 3: they would have been for sure, like you think regardless,
Speaker 3: Like after five dates with someone, you have to have
Speaker 3: a level of respect to be like, look, this is
Speaker 3: not working out for me.
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2: It's pretty harsh rejection, Isn't it super hard? It pretty
Speaker 2: hard for Chrissy.
Speaker 1: Remember that it's not you, it's him.
Speaker 2: He's the fuck with here, not you. Yeah, he doesn't
Speaker 2: deserve you to be honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, remember your self worth.
Speaker 3: I know that your confidence has probably taken a huge hit,
Speaker 3: but you know it says more about him than it
Speaker 3: does you.
Speaker 2: And remember there's way more guys out there, and I
Speaker 2: reckon now, you're going to find the one that makes
Speaker 2: you feel better about yourself and won't reject you after
Speaker 2: five dates.
Speaker 1: Yeah, get yourself back out there, girlfriend.
Speaker 2: Okay, and I hope that our rejection anxiety episode has
Speaker 2: helped a lot of people. And look they take away
Speaker 2: from it is don't let the rejection eat you up.
Speaker 2: I guess yeah, for sure, everyone gets rejected. We've been rejected,
Speaker 2: believe it or not.
Speaker 1: We're what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Well, I put myself out there and I've any rejected
Speaker 2: plenty of times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, rejection, stut, it never gets easier. It doesn't.
Speaker 3: But I think just like, keep pushing through, practice that
Speaker 3: self love, make sure that your self worth and self
Speaker 3: confidence is strong and you can get through anything. Okay, guys,
Speaker 3: that's all we have time for. Thank you again for
Speaker 3: listening to our episode. We love having you as part
Speaker 3: of the Whares Your Head at FAM. Go down to
Speaker 3: the show notes to check out our instagrams, our Facebook
Speaker 3: group where we talk all things new episodes, future topics,
Speaker 3: and more, and make sure you also give us a
Speaker 3: five star review. It really means the world to us.
Speaker 3: And until next time, Bye, Thank you, Bye,