1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,520
Speaker 1: We said after the block, that is when our life started.

2
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:06,480
Speaker 1: That's how we genuinely felt. And we were what like

3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,760
Speaker 1: thirty three and thirty six at the time or whatever,

4
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,320
Speaker 1: and that's when we felt like our lives truly started.

5
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,239
Speaker 2: Good day, Welcome to better than yesterday. Useful tools and

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,680
Speaker 2: useful conversations to help your day to day be better

7
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,960
Speaker 2: than it was yesterday, every single week, every episode since

8
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,560
Speaker 2: twenty thirteen. Mine is Josha Ginsberg. Thank you so much

9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,720
Speaker 2: for being here, and thank you so much for getting

10
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,840
Speaker 2: right behind. So what now? What the brand new book? Also,

11
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,040
Speaker 2: my first book is back in print. I know many

12
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,760
Speaker 2: people have emailed me asking if they could get it

13
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,159
Speaker 2: because it's only on has only been on audiobook for

14
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,800
Speaker 2: some time. But it's back in print. So if you

15
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,840
Speaker 2: need the first book, you can grab that as well.

16
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,160
Speaker 2: But so what what? So what now? What is out

17
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,960
Speaker 2: right now? In fact, today I'm going to be in

18
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,760
Speaker 2: a DIMIs in the city signing a bunch and so

19
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,520
Speaker 2: if you go in there tomorrow, probably be on the

20
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,120
Speaker 2: shelves and get a signed copy there. There's also a

21
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,920
Speaker 2: few other bookstores I'll do that. I'll let you know

22
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,760
Speaker 2: where that's going to be and finalizing plans for the

23
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:13,920
Speaker 2: live show, very very exciting. The technical tests prove to

24
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,720
Speaker 2: be very frightening. The barrier to entry and the learning

25
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,240
Speaker 2: curve is steep, but you got to swing for the

26
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,039
Speaker 2: fences and give it a shot, you know what I mean.

27
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,000
Speaker 2: I mean, it's nowhere near ready, but fuck, we've just

28
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,920
Speaker 2: got to hit go and see what happens. It's going

29
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,880
Speaker 2: to be interesting. But this is me trying something new,

30
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,240
Speaker 2: because that's kind of what we're talking about today. Can

31
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,720
Speaker 2: you think of the last time we tried something new

32
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 2: for the first time when in Hicky and James are

33
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: Lock when we hear the other day they spoke about

34
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 2: the importance of novelty in our mental health and in

35
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,080
Speaker 2: our happiness because it's too easy. It's really easy, in fact,

36
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,760
Speaker 2: for us to get stuck just doing the same things

37
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 2: day in day out, same routine, same responses, same reactions.

38
00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,320
Speaker 2: Sometimes we don't realize that's all we're doing. But as

39
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,720
Speaker 2: my guests today can absolutely testify, breaking out of that,

40
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,880
Speaker 2: putting yourself out there trying something new, it can reward

41
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,160
Speaker 2: you in many different ways. We'll get to that after

42
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:24,080
Speaker 2: a play of ants. Thanks for listening to the show.

43
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,160
Speaker 2: My guest today are sisters Eliza and Liberty Pashke. Couple

44
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,240
Speaker 2: of years ago, they threw themselves into the reality television

45
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 2: renovation juggernaut the Block, even though they had no renovation experience,

46
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,320
Speaker 2: quite so for it, but they came away from that

47
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:45,560
Speaker 2: experience much richer in many ways. Since then, they've tried to,

48
00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:50,160
Speaker 2: I guess, make trying new things their thing. They were

49
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,000
Speaker 2: on a show called Do You Want to Live Forever?

50
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,480
Speaker 2: And also they've got a podcast it's called Try Before

51
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,840
Speaker 2: You Die, And they have nurtured a wonderful community and

52
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,040
Speaker 2: it's a beautiful thing that because together they share a

53
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,640
Speaker 2: lot about what's going on, a lot about themselves, some

54
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,360
Speaker 2: very serious things including mental health, sexual assault, disordered eating,

55
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,360
Speaker 2: but they do it in such a way that's supported

56
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,400
Speaker 2: and destigmatizing, which is really really wonderful. We're going to

57
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,000
Speaker 2: talk a lot about that, and also what trying all

58
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,480
Speaker 2: these new things has given them a bit of fair

59
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,200
Speaker 2: bit about reality TV and a whole bunch more. Enjoy

60
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:34,240
Speaker 2: the delightful Eliza and Liberty. Good morning, good morning. May

61
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,760
Speaker 2: I even say, because I don't get paid to say

62
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,320
Speaker 2: this anymore, let me say it, good morning, ladies, Oh

63
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,200
Speaker 2: for good.

64
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,240
Speaker 1: We never get called ladies. I know.

65
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,480
Speaker 2: I never used to get paid to say that.

66
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,320
Speaker 1: You're such a gentleman. No one speaks to us like that.

67
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's important. You need to adjust your microphone.

68
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,600
Speaker 3: She is an amateur. Seriously, there we go.

69
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,600
Speaker 2: How's that? Just get it closer to your head.

70
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:56,520
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what.

71
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,360
Speaker 1: We need to get some tips from you, because in

72
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 1: listening to your podcast, you don't say, you don't say

73
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,480
Speaker 1: like you have.

74
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,880
Speaker 3: The most beautiful speaking voice. You speak so beautifully.

75
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,480
Speaker 1: We were having a whole conversation in the car about

76
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,480
Speaker 1: this and how terrible we sound. We listened to your

77
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:17,279
Speaker 1: episode talking about the real high Housewives of Sydney. Wonderful, wonderful,

78
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,240
Speaker 1: and you were doing it just by yourself that whole episode.

79
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,560
Speaker 1: It was truly stunning, so professional.

80
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:26,039
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. The last full third act was all about

81
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,200
Speaker 2: me not being able to wei.

82
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,280
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I loved it.

83
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,560
Speaker 1: No, it was me and I loved it. But I

84
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,800
Speaker 1: watched you host that Housewives of Sydney reunion.

85
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:35,880
Speaker 3: That is a hell of a job.

86
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 1: Wow, what a stunning season. I love the Sydney franchise.

87
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,000
Speaker 2: It was fucking amazing. It was true and as I

88
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,680
Speaker 2: talk about on that and thank you for listening to that,

89
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 2: by the way, and thank you for recognizing the gig.

90
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:52,400
Speaker 2: It was easily easily the most emotionally intense television I've

91
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,480
Speaker 2: ever ever made.

92
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,119
Speaker 1: Because they genuinely dislike each other, don't they.

93
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, The Venn diagrams where their energies

94
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,320
Speaker 2: combined can either be positive or not positive. I'm trying

95
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,599
Speaker 2: to be as diplomatic as possible.

96
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,599
Speaker 1: Also, can I ask you another question, whatever you want?

97
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,760
Speaker 1: Do you watch a lot of reality TV?

98
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 2: I do? I do, actually, so you are a lover

99
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,080
Speaker 2: of it. I know a lot about how the sausage

100
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:20,160
Speaker 2: is made. So what's reality? What's anything in life? Anything

101
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,760
Speaker 2: in life is about tension and release and whether we

102
00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,800
Speaker 2: breathe in shit now I've got to breathe out. There's

103
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:31,880
Speaker 2: always a cadence to life, and with reality television it's

104
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,240
Speaker 2: it is Jeopardy and Reveal, Jeopardy and Reveal. Reliza and

105
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,560
Speaker 2: Liberty are going to get it done tonight on Maybe

106
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 2: they will. I don't know. I want to watch and

107
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:46,040
Speaker 2: then ah release when they get it done. So there's

108
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,760
Speaker 2: some shows that do it way way better than others.

109
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,680
Speaker 2: There's one I really like I'll watch it with my son.

110
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,880
Speaker 2: It's called is it Cake of It?

111
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,320
Speaker 1: They put a real life item next to it, Yes,

112
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,480
Speaker 1: and you have to guess.

113
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,120
Speaker 2: Which one's k And it's got all the things I love.

114
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,720
Speaker 2: Because everyone together they all shout, is it O caake?

115
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,479
Speaker 3: It's fun, fantastic.

116
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,920
Speaker 2: But you can't go past the Granddaddy. You can't go

117
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:14,039
Speaker 2: past Survivor. It is the greatest reality television show ever made.

118
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,839
Speaker 2: It's the greatest game invented by humans.

119
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:17,440
Speaker 1: Would you ever go on it?

120
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,360
Speaker 2: Fuck? Yeah? Would you?

121
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:20,040
Speaker 1: Oh?

122
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,320
Speaker 2: Absolutely? I would, Oh you must, oh yeah, But I'd

123
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,880
Speaker 2: do it. I'd do the fool Jeanine Alis I do like.

124
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,360
Speaker 2: I would go and find some sort of survivalist person.

125
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,480
Speaker 2: I would not. I would lock down King George. Yeah right,

126
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,039
Speaker 2: give me the just two week fight camp intensive of

127
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:39,240
Speaker 2: just fucking with people, and I would probably go over

128
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,240
Speaker 2: to Fiji or some or somewhere for a couple of

129
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:42,920
Speaker 2: weeks and figure out how to get one of the

130
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,600
Speaker 2: guys from the local villages to show me how to

131
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,280
Speaker 2: build stuff, because my wife's Fijian and we just spent

132
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,440
Speaker 2: a bit of time over there, and I heard that

133
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,920
Speaker 2: one of the guys from the village next to where

134
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,000
Speaker 2: they shoot the American one. He said, oh, there was

135
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,120
Speaker 2: two Americans here last week and they paid us all

136
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,040
Speaker 2: this money to spend two weeks learning how to build

137
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,280
Speaker 2: shelters and which fish could eat. And then like three

138
00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,599
Speaker 2: months later when they for Survivor, there's a million bucks

139
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,120
Speaker 2: on that show, Like it's worth it, It's worth your time. Yeah, yeah,

140
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,640
Speaker 2: I've I'd totally do it. It'd BEI front. I try

141
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,960
Speaker 2: that because trying things is important. You've written, You've got

142
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,680
Speaker 2: a whole podcast about about trying things.

143
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,200
Speaker 1: Try and hate trying things.

144
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,920
Speaker 2: Why is it important to try things, particularly things that

145
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,600
Speaker 2: you hate to try?

146
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:20,280
Speaker 3: Oh?

147
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,480
Speaker 1: Truly, before we went on the block, we sat at

148
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:27,360
Speaker 1: home and were spinsters and did nothing.

149
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:32,160
Speaker 2: Shit fuck word, oh shitty word. Bachelor is like, hey,

150
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,320
Speaker 2: I'm out in about Spinster is like watching Days of

151
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,480
Speaker 2: ourn But that's what.

152
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,600
Speaker 3: We genuinely do.

153
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,960
Speaker 1: Watch Days of our lives, Bold in, the beautiful Bold

154
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,600
Speaker 1: and the beautiful Doctor Field, all that gear, and we

155
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,080
Speaker 1: just never challenged ourselves. We never got outside of our

156
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,520
Speaker 1: cumpet zones whatsoever. I said no to everything. We just

157
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,160
Speaker 1: were so routine driven and just and it just didn't

158
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,960
Speaker 1: make us happy or excited. Like I said to you

159
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,239
Speaker 1: before we did block, I was like, I don't remember

160
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,400
Speaker 1: the last time I was excited or really really happy.

161
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,040
Speaker 1: And I think trying things as hard as some of

162
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,120
Speaker 1: the stuff that we have done has been, i e.

163
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 1: Stand up comedy and co education, you always learn something

164
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,840
Speaker 1: from it, and then when we talk about it, we

165
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,560
Speaker 1: always laugh or we have some learning from it, and

166
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,120
Speaker 1: I think it just gives us some sense of purpose

167
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,080
Speaker 1: and happiness and growth excitement.

168
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:35,080
Speaker 2: Did you try stuff that was new in your little kids? No?

169
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,079
Speaker 1: We so we're from Adelaide originally feel lost.

170
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,319
Speaker 2: I grew up there as well. Don't worry.

171
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:50,160
Speaker 1: It's very small town vibes, and we have wonderful parents.

172
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,679
Speaker 1: But we were very careful of doing the right things

173
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,920
Speaker 1: and not embarrassing ourselves or our parents, and we wanted

174
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,520
Speaker 1: to get oh god, we wanted to get good grades.

175
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:08,760
Speaker 1: So we were just cautious people. And then we moved

176
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,480
Speaker 1: to Melbourne and we let rip a little, and then

177
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,440
Speaker 1: the block was just the icing on the cake of

178
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 1: opening ourselves up to life.

179
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,600
Speaker 2: I can understand that A lifestyle in Adelaide and I

180
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,040
Speaker 2: lived there till I was five, and I moved back

181
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 2: when I was twenty four for rest six months. And

182
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,840
Speaker 2: I understand that because Adelaide is such a small place,

183
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:30,840
Speaker 2: people don't want to really stretch too far because there's

184
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,040
Speaker 2: real societal impacts. If you put your neck out a

185
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,559
Speaker 2: bit too far and you fail, everybody knows about it.

186
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,160
Speaker 1: You don't want to tarnish your reputation or your family's

187
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,280
Speaker 1: reputation or anything like that. And our dad is a

188
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,840
Speaker 1: GP in Adelaide, so knows everyone knows all of our friends.

189
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,199
Speaker 1: So if we did something, everyone would know about it,

190
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:57,120
Speaker 1: and everyone knows everyone. So we just, I guess, wrapped

191
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,960
Speaker 1: ourselves a bit in cotton wool and just never try

192
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,640
Speaker 1: I had anything, but God, since we have, it's truly

193
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,520
Speaker 1: changed our lives. We said after the block, that is

194
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,160
Speaker 1: when our life started. That's how we genuinely felt. And

195
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,240
Speaker 1: we were what like thirty three and thirty six at

196
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,880
Speaker 1: the time or whatever, and that's when we felt like

197
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 1: our lives truly started.

198
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:21,760
Speaker 2: So at thirty three thirty six, did you feel regret

199
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,840
Speaker 2: that you had lived your life the way you had

200
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:24,840
Speaker 2: before that?

201
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,840
Speaker 1: Lib you say you have no regrets. My life is

202
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,960
Speaker 1: full of regrets. When I finished UNI, I had really

203
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:36,600
Speaker 1: bad anxiety and depression, and it was mostly social anxiety

204
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,200
Speaker 1: because I cared so much about being perfect and like

205
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,360
Speaker 1: by all, and so I found every time I left

206
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:45,720
Speaker 1: the house, I was so concerned about what people thought

207
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,320
Speaker 1: of me and looking amazing and saying the right thing.

208
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 1: And I ended up having these debilitating pannic attacks to

209
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,240
Speaker 1: the point of not being able to leave the house.

210
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,000
Speaker 3: And I, in my.

211
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,000
Speaker 1: Therapy, are reflected on what got me to that point,

212
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:05,679
Speaker 1: and it was just every decision I made. I was

213
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,360
Speaker 1: taking the safe, controlled option. I didn't even really go

214
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:16,280
Speaker 1: on dates, and I just every decision I made was

215
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:20,160
Speaker 1: calculated and safe. And I wish I could go back

216
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:24,360
Speaker 1: and just be a bit looser and yeah, have a

217
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,400
Speaker 1: bit of fun. But at the same time, without that

218
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,240
Speaker 1: sort of anxiety and depression, I wouldn't be where I

219
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,480
Speaker 1: am today. So as a whole, I don't regret it,

220
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: but I missed out on a few things because I

221
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,280
Speaker 1: said no to a lot. I think it's more I

222
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,680
Speaker 1: think you've got to take it more. Less regret, but

223
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,400
Speaker 1: more I wish I would have done things maybe a

224
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:49,120
Speaker 1: little bit differently, because I'm of that opinion of if

225
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,920
Speaker 1: certain things hadn't happened in my life, that weren't necessarily

226
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:53,480
Speaker 1: good things.

227
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,199
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be where I am.

228
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,120
Speaker 1: And for you, you do all these amazing mental health talks

229
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,160
Speaker 1: in schools. Yeah, if you hadn't had that experience, you

230
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,880
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to do those. You wouldn't be so

231
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,840
Speaker 1: resilient when your sexual assault happened. You wouldn't have got

232
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,920
Speaker 1: through that like you did if you hadn't you know,

233
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,640
Speaker 1: had therapy from your anxiety and depression. I just think

234
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 1: everything is a bit of a learning and I'm the

235
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:19,520
Speaker 1: same where there's definitely things I wish I could do differently.

236
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,640
Speaker 3: Or experiences that I wish.

237
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,760
Speaker 1: I hadn't had, But at the same time, yeah, that's

238
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,959
Speaker 1: why we are who we are today.

239
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,359
Speaker 3: So I think, yeah, I say, I don't have regrets.

240
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,680
Speaker 2: Tell me about your choice to open up and start

241
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,400
Speaker 2: speaking about this sort of stuff. I absolutely relate to

242
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,040
Speaker 2: your the social anxiety thing. That was kind of how

243
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,760
Speaker 2: I first started getting got diagnosed with some stuff because

244
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,199
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you mean It's not normal

245
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,920
Speaker 2: to not leave the house for three days in the run,

246
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,440
Speaker 2: this is the time before delivery. It was hard to do,

247
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,720
Speaker 2: and so why did you choose Because you could have

248
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,880
Speaker 2: just as well you know, you're this kid from Adelaide

249
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,520
Speaker 2: who doesn't want to, you know, look badly upon my

250
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,920
Speaker 2: family and like, you know, fear of having a poor

251
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,760
Speaker 2: appearance in public. What was it that made you go

252
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,120
Speaker 2: to fuck it? I'm just going to talk about it.

253
00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so bizarre to think that we were the

254
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:13,840
Speaker 1: most closed off private people and now we have no filter.

255
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:19,560
Speaker 1: And I think it came via the block experience because

256
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,719
Speaker 1: people were very receptive to us and the fact that

257
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:29,079
Speaker 1: we shared everything and were very real and raw, and

258
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,960
Speaker 1: when we would receive a DM saying thank you for

259
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,080
Speaker 1: sharing that or I'm the same, it's sort of fueled

260
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,199
Speaker 1: this fire in us of wow, the more we can

261
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:44,440
Speaker 1: talk about our flaws, the more people feel normal. And

262
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,960
Speaker 1: it just went from there. It just went into this

263
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,720
Speaker 1: big bonfire of like I'm literally going to tell you

264
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:54,319
Speaker 1: over time everything that's ever happened to me, like even

265
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,560
Speaker 1: Lib you know, with your because Lib, I hope you

266
00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 1: don't mind me saying, well, yeah, I'll I had an

267
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,560
Speaker 1: eating disorder when I was eighteen, and I haven't really

268
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,160
Speaker 1: spoken much about it, but then recently I have had

269
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,560
Speaker 1: a major hip operation and so I can't do much

270
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 1: exercise and I have put on like a fair amount

271
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,120
Speaker 1: of weight, and that seems like first world problems for

272
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 1: someone who's suffered like that in the past. Yeah, it's

273
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,200
Speaker 1: made me want to just talk about it. At one point,

274
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,520
Speaker 1: I was really felt really embarrassed about it because it

275
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 1: sounds so silly, but I'd put on so much weight

276
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,440
Speaker 1: that I was like, Oh, if I ever talk about this,

277
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 1: people are going to look at me now and be like, oh,

278
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 1: how was she someone that had an eating disorder when

279
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 1: she looks like this now whatever, which is so ridiculous

280
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,400
Speaker 1: in hindsight. But now I'm starting to share all these

281
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,960
Speaker 1: experiences and the amount of people that we can help

282
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,040
Speaker 1: by doing that, And it sounds so cliche. If you

283
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,600
Speaker 1: help one person, you're doing your job. But genuinely having

284
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 1: this platform for us and the fact that we just

285
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,520
Speaker 1: a no holds bar we talk about everything and anything,

286
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,600
Speaker 1: the amount of people that contact us saying I've never

287
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,080
Speaker 1: spoken about this before, you're the first person I've told

288
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:06,320
Speaker 1: this too. It just is so fulfilling for us and

289
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,000
Speaker 1: helps us. Like I know, with your recent struggles with

290
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,920
Speaker 1: your hip and you're a bit triggered with your past

291
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 1: eating issues, you're finding it really helpful to be able

292
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:20,280
Speaker 1: to chat to people, and you're mentoring younger girls, and yeah,

293
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,600
Speaker 1: it's just giving us a bit of meaning in our life.

294
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 2: You know, the thing that you are modeling here, though,

295
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 2: is you're not defining yourself by these things. You're also

296
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,920
Speaker 2: modeling the help seeking behavior that comes along with taking

297
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:38,240
Speaker 2: responsibility for these things, because that can be certainly when

298
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,560
Speaker 2: it comes to online and what messages we put out

299
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,920
Speaker 2: there into the feeds. If we define ourselves as someone

300
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,960
Speaker 2: who is I had this, I have this thing, there's

301
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,040
Speaker 2: no and this is what I'm doing about it, you

302
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,320
Speaker 2: might get a wave of compassion your way, but then

303
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 2: you're kind of reinforced to not ever do anything about

304
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 2: it because you don't want it to go away. Why

305
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,520
Speaker 2: to talk about their help seeking behavior?

306
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I just think social media these days it's

307
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 1: a dangerous place I find myself, even someone who I

308
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 1: would consider myself to be resilient and reasonably level headed,

309
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,920
Speaker 1: and my mental health is in a great place at

310
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 1: the moment. I'm very proactive with it, but even I

311
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,960
Speaker 1: fall down holes of getting sucked into what I'm seeing

312
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,840
Speaker 1: on social media and comparing myself to everyone. So I

313
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,520
Speaker 1: think it's so important for us to show those real

314
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 1: sides of us. And we're massive advocates for speaking out

315
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 1: when you have an issue and seeking help when you need.

316
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,440
Speaker 1: And I think the more we can show the real

317
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 1: stuff and inspire people to be real, like what we're

318
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 1: seeing on social media, that perfectionism, it's creating extra issues

319
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 1: for people. So we want to help undo the knots

320
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 1: that these unachievable images are creating for people. That's right,

321
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 1: And I think we talk about some loose stuff and

322
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,439
Speaker 1: even though you know it might offend some people with

323
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 1: our language and that kind of thing, we just feel

324
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,160
Speaker 1: like that's what resonates. And I think the fact that

325
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 1: we've sought help for the things that we've struggled with

326
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 1: in our lives, but even through periods where.

327
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 3: We don't necessarily have an issue.

328
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,840
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people think you need to

329
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 1: go to therapy if you have a big issue, whereas

330
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,040
Speaker 1: I want to go just to make myself a better

331
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,399
Speaker 1: person and to you know, so many things come up

332
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 1: when you go to therapy, even if you don't have

333
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 1: something specific to talk about. So I think the fact

334
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 1: that we are where we are today, and I would say,

335
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 1: where you know, we've had success in our careers and

336
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,679
Speaker 1: things like that. Maybe not so much getting you know,

337
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,680
Speaker 1: husbands and things like that, but you know, in our

338
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 1: we've had a pretty good, successful life and we've worked

339
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 1: really hard for that. But a lot of that is

340
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 1: because we have helped ourselves.

341
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 2: And the idea of just trying something. You You might

342
00:17:55,520 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 2: not think that therapy is for you. I might not

343
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,639
Speaker 2: think that you need it, but the idea of just

344
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:07,119
Speaker 2: modeling trying stuff is important for that and important for

345
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 2: you generally. You know, you find a way to talk

346
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,440
Speaker 2: about like the rejection therapy episode, you find a way

347
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 2: to talk about it in a way that you go, oh, yeah,

348
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,159
Speaker 2: that sounds hard, but I can see the benefits for that,

349
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 2: you know, and that's that's important. You mentioned finding husbands

350
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 2: in there, and I think it's important sometimes to talk

351
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,280
Speaker 2: about this sort of stuffcase. I mean, I'm lucky. I

352
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 2: have a twenty one year old step daughter, so I

353
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 2: have this one woman focused group in my house, and

354
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 2: so I have a fairly decent idea of you know,

355
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 2: what things going on in the world. But there's people

356
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 2: who listen. And I've been off the market for a

357
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 2: long time. What is dating in your thirties, like in

358
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,639
Speaker 2: Australia right now, Oh.

359
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 1: We wouldn't actually know seriously, hell honestly, this is where

360
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:54,719
Speaker 1: social media can be such a negative thing, and the

361
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,200
Speaker 1: introduction of dating apps. It is literally a numbers game.

362
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:03,119
Speaker 1: You get ghosted, you get gas lit, you there's just

363
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 1: not that personal connection that you had. Everything is driven

364
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 1: by first impressions, which are often superficial. And both of

365
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 1: us have had such negative experiences in the dating space

366
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 1: that we've almost We don't give up on a lot,

367
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,360
Speaker 1: but in the dating world we've given up because we

368
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: just have way more negative experiences than positive.

369
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 3: And for us, we're really trying to work.

370
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 1: On I don't know ourselves and being happier versions of

371
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 1: ourselves and being positive.

372
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 3: So putting ourselves in a position.

373
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: Where it's just not a great experience, we're trying to

374
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 1: kind of avoid that, and it's just not helping us.

375
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 3: We're not happy when we do it.

376
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 1: It doesn't provide any value for us. Yes, it might

377
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: provide a couple of learnings, but for the time being,

378
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,360
Speaker 1: I think we're so happy in our lives and where

379
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 1: we're at that for us, it has to be a bonus.

380
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 1: It has to be something that adds value to our life.

381
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 1: I if that means I'm single forever, I'd rather be

382
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 1: single forever and love my life then be with someone

383
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: like a lot of my friends are that make their

384
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 1: life miserable. I don't want to bring people down. Look,

385
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,679
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who have met people

386
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 1: on dating apps. I just think it's a shame that

387
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 1: in the real world now no one tries to chat

388
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 1: to you or pick you up or anything. Not that

389
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 1: we're we probably need to go out a bit more

390
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 1: socially live to be honest. But yeah, so there are

391
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 1: a lot of positives to it, and you're meeting people

392
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 1: that you may not have met ordinarily. Having said that,

393
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 1: the dates that I've been on from dating apps haven't

394
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:35,679
Speaker 1: been great, and yeah, my experiences have been negative. And

395
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 1: I've had to have a look at this and think

396
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 1: I'm having bad feelings from doing this. So I'm going

397
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 1: to park it. And for me, I've just turned thirty nine.

398
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 1: My consideration now is whether I want to be a mum,

399
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at whether I go down the single

400
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 1: solo mum path.

401
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 2: Well that's fantastic. Yeah, it's great. I mean, yes, it's hard,

402
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 2: but it can't be done. Yeah, I'm sorry, that's that's

403
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 2: your experience. I'm sorry that you don't have the thrill

404
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 2: of a person you've never met before coming up to

405
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 2: you and speaking to you, and in ten minutes later

406
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,239
Speaker 2: you've got their phone number. That was an exciting thing

407
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 2: that used to happen all the time.

408
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 3: That would be such a dream.

409
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 1: And do you know what, always we always talk about

410
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 1: the fact that we have never had anyone outside of

411
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: our family and friends tell us that they love us

412
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 1: or we've never been in love with someone, neither of

413
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 1: us and that to me is really sad. That is

414
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 1: one thing aside from even just the partnership of having,

415
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: you know, a partner.

416
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 3: It's just that it's.

417
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,199
Speaker 1: The love and experiencing being in love with someone that

418
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: I want to have in my life. That is something

419
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: that's important to me, even outside of you know, having

420
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 1: kids and having an actual partner.

421
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 2: That is a national tragedy that the men of Australia

422
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 2: who are exposed to these two incredibly smart, very astute

423
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 2: business women who were successful and stuff like that, cannot

424
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,439
Speaker 2: get themselves to a point of emotional intimacy that they say,

425
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 2: you know what, I love you that's really fucking bad.

426
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 1: It is actually really sad, and to be honestly, we

427
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 1: need to open ourselves up more. I just think we're

428
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: scarred from poor experiences and seeing our friends in bad relationships.

429
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 1: You know what, maybe it will happen one day, and

430
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 1: I think we both particularly, you need to be loving

431
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: yourself a little bit more before you can get someone

432
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: else to love you.

433
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 3: Well, I think you have to.

434
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 1: You can't go out into the world expecting someone to

435
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 1: love you when you don't love yourself. Yeah, so that's

436
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: what we're working on at the moment.

437
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,360
Speaker 2: It is in my experience and look, I've been divorced

438
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,399
Speaker 2: and I'm married again. We'll be cranky, will be ten

439
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 2: years next year. Marriage is a participation sport, there's no

440
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 2: question and it is certainly not you know, Drew Barrymore

441
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 2: and Paul rd every minute of every day. It is

442
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 2: like I said before, Yeah, there's conflict, there's repair, there's

443
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 2: conflict repair, there's tension, there's a release. There's tension, there's

444
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 2: a release, there's there's a cadence to it, there's an escalation,

445
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 2: there's a relief. There's the physical intimacy that helps heal that.

446
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 2: There's the space between you, there's the wanting to come

447
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 2: back together and wanted to be a part again, and

448
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 2: sometimes I think people that is fuck off. The moment

449
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 2: it gets hard, yes, but I've talked about this before.

450
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,719
Speaker 2: It's what you end up doing then, is you're just

451
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: you're doing a speed run of level one. Yeah, every time.

452
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 2: You never get to the boss at the end of

453
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 2: level one, and you never get to level two, and

454
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 2: so you never get You might think I'm amazing, look

455
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 2: at my fucking leaderboard, look at my numbers, but no,

456
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 2: you're just playing on beginner mode.

457
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 3: It's so true.

458
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,360
Speaker 1: People don't put the effort in these days. People don't

459
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: work hard for it because there's just other options out there,

460
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: you know, particularly with the dating apps and things. You're like,

461
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: oh well, just jump on a dating app and date

462
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: the next one and shut her down and date the

463
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: next one.

464
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 3: It's just the.

465
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: Issue we're finding at the moment. The biggest thing that

466
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: my friends are struggling with is ghosting. It is so

467
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: easy to ghost. There's no manners. You're just You're match

468
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 1: is deleted, your number is deleted, you're removed off social media,

469
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 1: and it's onto the next There's no closure. There's nothing,

470
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 1: and I don't have that in me to be able

471
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: to deal with that day after day.

472
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 2: That's a little boy stuff, isn't it. Everything we're describing

473
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: is my experience when I was on the fucking hellscape

474
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 2: of Tinder for like less than a year. Yeah, that's

475
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: what I got. On the other side, it was equally shit.

476
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 2: It was terrible. Was so vacuous and transactional. However, you know,

477
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 2: guy's got to eat.

478
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 1: How did you meet your wife?

479
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: We got introduced?

480
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 3: That is my dream.

481
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 1: Can someone I just want someone to introduce me to someone,

482
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 1: not have to go through the rigmarole of dating apps

483
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: or blind dates or anything.

484
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 3: Someone introduced me, there's a spark and boom.

485
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: The thing is, though I met her in twenty fourteen,

486
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: so I was three years sober, and I had known

487
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: enough about the choices I've been making in the life

488
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 2: that I've been living as a result of those choices

489
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: to know that, you know what, sometimes what I think

490
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 2: is the best idea, historically speaking, hasn't been the best idea.

491
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: I might take my decision making process out of this

492
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 2: and just follow the ideas of people who have the

493
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 2: best my best interest at heart. So the guy that

494
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 2: helps me on my journey. He guided me a pretty

495
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: long way. It was pretty good. And then my macapa's

496
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 2: kala at the time, she said, look, you know, I've

497
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 2: got someone to come and look after you next week.

498
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 2: I've got I said yes to this job. The season

499
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 2: two of The Bachelor, she guess, I've got someone to

500
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,880
Speaker 2: look after you next week because I got a job.

501
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 2: I said yes to. Do you well be back after

502
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: that and you're welcome. I was like, what, And I

503
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: realized in those moments like that first week, I didn't

504
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 2: try anything on and Audrey was convinced that I was

505
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: gay for the first week because I was just so

506
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 2: you know, trying as hard as i could to be

507
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 2: the opposite of the kind of person i'd been when

508
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 2: I was drinking and using. And what I realized was

509
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 2: what I believed I wanted. Had every relationship, I had

510
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 2: chosen the person because of it, I believe that it's

511
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 2: the person that I wanted. So that's the person I wanted.

512
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 2: That they had all ended badly. However, what I needed

513
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 2: was a very different thing. But someone else could see

514
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 2: that and I just needed to trust that.

515
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 3: Oh that's so stunning.

516
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 2: I will say to you you might be, you know,

517
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 2: being introduced to people, but if they don't fit them

518
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 2: old and bear in mind, I've got mates of mine

519
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 2: who will go to a barbecue and they'll bring someone

520
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, it looked really like the last one.

521
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 2: Are they the same one? I don't mind. I've had

522
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 2: the same name on more than one occasion. But you

523
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 2: know there's been a diving on a grade. Oh no, no, no, no,

524
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 2: blinder not blind blender. Thanks. So people choose the same

525
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 2: thing every time and then they want it breaking? Was

526
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 2: it breaking down every time?

527
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: Dum? And do you sorry? I know I'm asking a

528
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 1: lot of questions, but do you believe in soulmates?

529
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: I think soulmates the idea of soulmates is one of

530
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 2: those ideas about reality that we have about relationships. We

531
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 2: can definitely be really really aligned with somebody, but I

532
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 2: know a few of my soulmate we would never fight. Yeah,

533
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 2: we fucking would, because we're different people with different upbringings

534
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,719
Speaker 2: and completely different ideas and who I was. You know

535
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 2: when I met my wife ten years ago. There's a

536
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 2: few little cells in my brain, but every single other

537
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: atom of my body is just food that has been

538
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 2: reconcentrated into human form, and none of it was there

539
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 2: when I met her. So we change all the time,

540
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 2: and the person that you met is not going to

541
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 2: be the same person in year later. So the soul

542
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 2: mate thing, it looks good on an Instagram post, but

543
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: I don't think it's real. And it provides It means

544
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 2: that people often say no or prematurely end a relationship

545
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 2: that otherwise could be really amazing because they go, but

546
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: hang on, there's not rainbows and balcony sex all the time.

547
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 2: Like what, well, no, it's not bad your shit? Yeah,

548
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 2: say no is the answer.

549
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I like that description.

550
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: Do you have any single like siblings or friends or anything?

551
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: You can be the introducer this time.

552
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 2: I think I've done my time in the dating world.

553
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 1: Team oh over and above.

554
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 2: I've had great success in that area. But I would

555
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 2: say in that, you know, in my experience in that

556
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 2: the people that are still together off of the Bachelor

557
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: shows that we did, the people are still together are

558
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 2: the ones who realized they were the reason they were single.

559
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: I think I'm the reason I'm single.

560
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 2: You can't control anybody else. Yeah, look at yourself, and

561
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 2: it's hard stuff to look at. It's hard stuff to

562
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: look at.

563
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: That's profound.

564
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: It's true though, but again, long, I'm a fifty one,

565
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 2: I've been divorced, and I've had more than one long

566
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 2: term relationship breakdown, and you eventually you have to go,

567
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 2: I've got to stop doing this to myself, to other people.

568
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: You've got to kind of look at it. We are

569
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 2: going to take a break back with Eliza and Liberty

570
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 2: in just a moment.

571
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: You seem like such a smart, deep, normal, great human. Right,

572
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: how did you go? How did you go? Working in

573
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: the reality TV space?

574
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: I found a fascinating I'm a very curious person, and

575
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 2: I find the way that human beings relate to each

576
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: other really interesting. I found Bachelorette a lot more interesting

577
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 2: because I I just I could not tell the difference

578
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: in the micro expressions in the back channel kind of

579
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 2: between the lines communications between the women. I didn't. I'm

580
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: one of four boys. I went to an all boys school.

581
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: I didn't. I don't know what it looks like. But

582
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,719
Speaker 2: with the boys, I could absolutely see what was going on,

583
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 2: and it was amazing.

584
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 1: Do you think we would have been good bachelorettes?

585
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you guys would be amazing.

586
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 3: Because we were Actually it's sad when it ended.

587
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: We were like, we could have done a Sister bacheloree.

588
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: I mean they've already done one of those, lib but no,

589
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: but another one.

590
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, well Channel Line produce it now they've got the

591
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 2: format rights. They've just done Golden Yes, you should pitch.

592
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: Them, but we do only do it if you hosted it.

593
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: Just hearing the way that you talk about it and

594
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: the care and the seriousness, I feel like I would

595
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 1: trust you. Yeah. Same. I mean we had a great

596
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: experience on that we did, but for some reason I

597
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: just pictured dating shows. It just all seems very scary

598
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: to me. Yes, that's just what I had.

599
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 3: In my head.

600
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 2: I don't think it is. I've think some reality television

601
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: that that is like that. Certainly, the earlier stuff that

602
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: before people kind of figured oh we were damaging people

603
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 2: in other countries didn't happen here. Shit that went down

604
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 2: in the States and the UK, which was they were

605
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 2: just fucking with people and it was a bit Stanford

606
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 2: University in some points. But thankfully things are very different

607
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 2: and Australia we never got to that age, thankfully, which

608
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 2: is which is really really quite good. I mean I've

609
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: very been very grateful, loving, able to be a part

610
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 2: of people's great love stories. Sam Wood and Snojana highlight

611
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 2: for me. Also Glenn and Alisha was really great. Yeah,

612
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 2: it was Batch in Paradise. I was so happy for

613
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 2: those two and also baby Yes I know and and

614
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 2: so proud to be a part of Brook Bulletin season

615
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 2: ye kicked open Doors and it was really, really, really great.

616
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,719
Speaker 2: We do have something in common and that we do

617
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,959
Speaker 2: like to try new things. How do you come up

618
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 2: with the things that you're going to try? Do people

619
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,479
Speaker 2: suggest stuff? Or I mean, I've suggested you go on dates,

620
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 2: but who said right, go get a columnic, go get

621
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: a bum wash.

622
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: It's a bit of everywhere. So our producers come up

623
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: with some of it. Will you come up with some

624
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: of it? But then we have the best community on

625
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: social media that tell us what they want to see,

626
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: because to be honest, we wouldn't do it if we

627
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: didn't have this podcast, would we. And that was part

628
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: of the reason why when we came off the Block

629
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 1: we started this with this concept because on the Block,

630
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: we challenged ourselves in every way, because there were even

631
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 1: challenges once a week, like break dancing that we did

632
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: and Ninja Warrior courses and driving backwards around an obstacle

633
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: course and all this stuff that we would never have done.

634
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: So when we came off, we were scared that we

635
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: would go back into our little spinster life. And so yeah,

636
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: we thought this is a great concept for a podcast

637
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: to force us to do these things, hold ourselves accountable. Yeah,

638
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: but yeah, the ideas come from everywhere, and we make

639
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: sure we do a mix of nice stuff that isn't

640
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: too horrific and then.

641
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 3: Equally as horrific.

642
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: I try and get a lot of nice stuff over

643
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 1: the line. Shall we try a new restrom doesn't usually fly?

644
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 2: Wow? Well, I'd like you to try something for me

645
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: at least. Is I'd like you to try to stop

646
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 2: using the word spin star.

647
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 3: Oh, I know we do.

648
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: That is something we're very self deprecating and something that

649
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: we've discussed with each other lately. Stop talking so negatively

650
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: about ourselves. And we haven't done well with us, We

651
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: really haven't.

652
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 2: Your subconscious doesn't know the difference. Yeah, Like, if you

653
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 2: tell yourself I'm bad at maths even though you might

654
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: not be, you go, I'm not going to try that.

655
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: You're a spinster. Ah My dates suck I never meet

656
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 2: good guys, and.

657
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: It's a defense protective mechanism for me. Anyway, If I

658
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: say it first, someone else can't, Ah that.

659
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 2: I'll chestnut. Who gives a fuck? Really?

660
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: No, It's like I'd rather someone laugh with me than

661
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: sort of laugh at me.

662
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: And if they do laugh at you, what's the worst

663
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: it's going to happen.

664
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: I don't like embarrassment, even though I tend to do

665
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: it a lot. So if I can say it and

666
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: someone's laughing with me, then it's less less embarrassing than

667
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 1: if someone says it and I haven't said it, then

668
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: they're poking fun at me. And you care so much

669
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 1: about what people think of you, and you have to

670
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: understand people, whereas I'm a bit better at letting things go,

671
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 1: letting things over my head, not investing so much time

672
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: into things and people that don't add value to my life,

673
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: whereas you're not so good at that, which is a

674
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: good and bad quality because you're so kind and empathetic

675
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: and caring.

676
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 3: But it also then is your mental health.

677
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you mentioned doctor Phil earlier, so let me ask

678
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 2: the question, how's that working out for you? Oh?

679
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:23,439
Speaker 1: Good God?

680
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 3: Isn't that an absolute rebel of a show.

681
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: I love Doctor Phiel, But how's how's the how's the

682
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: saying bad stuff about yourself? So, oh can't how's that

683
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: working out for you?

684
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: It's it's not going well at all. And we're very cautious.

685
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 2: One.

686
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 1: If I become a parent at some point, I really

687
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: want to stamp that out because I don't want that

688
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: around a child if I have one.

689
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 3: Just defaulting.

690
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 1: I even talk about excuse my language. At least once

691
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: a day, I talk about my gunt is. Do you

692
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: know what that is?

693
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 2: It's and it's not quite a yes. It's a beautiful word.

694
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 2: I first heard it about twenty years ago when the

695
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 2: Sassin bid low slung jeans showed up. I can see

696
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: her what so I'm not.

697
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: Even aware of it. It's part of my humor, it's

698
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: part of my vogueab but I need to get rid

699
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: of that because it's a joke to me. But if

700
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: other people hear it, they're often quite shocked. And you're

701
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: a little bit body negative at the moment. Yeah, I obviously,

702
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 1: having had an eating disorder in the past, I'm very

703
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: still body image conscious and as sad sad as it is,

704
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 1: a lot of my self worth and self value and

705
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 1: self love comes from Yeah, my body image and what

706
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 1: I look like like. Often I will think my identity

707
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: is that, and my fitness level and what I look

708
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 1: like from a physical sense, And when I.

709
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,720
Speaker 3: Say it out loud, I'm like, that is so sad

710
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 3: and so horrific.

711
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: But again, it's that subconscious of for fifteen eighteen years

712
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 1: having experienced Yeah, I guess the follow on effects of

713
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 1: an eating disorder. It's really difficult to overcome and it's

714
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: definitely something I'm working on, but god, it needs a

715
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: lot more work.

716
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 2: So there's two episodes right there. Yeah, exactly did you

717
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 2: imagine how much you could help people if you you know,

718
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to try to I'm going to try to

719
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 2: not be self deprecating from it.

720
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great one. We haven't really have thought

721
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: about something like that, so we need to do that

722
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: because we actually can't do it. You're particularly bad. I

723
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: pull you up on it multiple times a day.

724
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 2: And you know, as far as the eating disorder thing,

725
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 2: you know, it's uncommon for people to not know somebody

726
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: who's been through something like that. What would you say

727
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 2: to people who you know may be someone in their

728
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: life who's got an eating disorder? What what would you say?

729
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,439
Speaker 2: Is the biggest misconception that people might have about such things,

730
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: that oh.

731
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 1: It's that whole thing of just eat something like it

732
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: is actually a mental disorder. It's a serious thing that

733
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: you need help with. I could never have got out

734
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: of it. And when I say got out of it,

735
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: I've moved forward from it.

736
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 3: I think it's something that I'll live with forever in

737
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 3: terms of the flow on effects.

738
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: But I was really lucky in that I've only suffered, like,

739
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:17,760
Speaker 1: really really badly for around a year. But the support

740
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 1: of my family and then speaking to people in the

741
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: industry that know what they're talking about more so than

742
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: I do, professionals, is so unbelievably important. And I think

743
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: people have said to me. My therapist has said to me,

744
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 1: what would your friends say are your best qualities?

745
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 3: And what would they know you for?

746
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 1: They're like, I guarantee you it's not for what you

747
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: look like, or what you eat or how often you

748
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: go to the gym. It's how kind you are, or

749
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: how caring you are, or you know, the things that

750
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 1: you bring to people, which, when I think about it,

751
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 1: is so true.

752
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: No one in my life family, friend.

753
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: Or other would say, my identity is my body shape

754
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: or how often I go to the gym, or how

755
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 1: fit I am. So when you break it down and

756
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: you really think about it like that, I can understand it.

757
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: But you just have to do so much work within

758
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:16,359
Speaker 1: yourself to really believe that about yourself. So, yeah, it's

759
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 1: something that for me, it was a moment that triggered

760
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: me in high school. But I think there's an underlying

761
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: I'm such a control freak, I'm a perfectionist. Comes back

762
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 1: to that whole thing of never wanting to disappoint anyone.

763
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 1: But it was the one thing that I could control

764
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,399
Speaker 1: in my life when there was a lot of things

765
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:40,240
Speaker 1: I couldn't. So it's just a constant work in progress.

766
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:41,800
Speaker 2: And that's the I think that's the other thing that

767
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 2: people might not understand about therapy. Like you said, sometimes

768
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 2: you go without having one specific thing to work on,

769
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 2: and that is true. But sometimes you go when you

770
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 2: do have a specific thing to work on and you

771
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: have a breakup or you know, perhaps you're trying to

772
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 2: get pregnant or something like that, or you got fired

773
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 2: from your job or something, and you've worked through the

774
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 2: thing with the person and you've done your mental health

775
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 2: plan and you go, thanks very much, Vivian, that was great,

776
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 2: no worries, and then you carry on. But then some

777
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 2: other shit shows up because you've now got a coping

778
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 2: strategy that has allowed you to expand your life, and

779
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: you're now dealing with higher stresses and you know, you're baby.

780
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 2: You did get a relationship, and now you're dealing with

781
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 2: a bunch of other stuff and you'reize, oh shit, I

782
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 2: don't have enough tools. Now there you go back. It's

783
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: not like you graduate like it's high school, and it

784
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 2: totally it's the thing you do for life, right, It's

785
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 2: like getting There's a person in my life who's in

786
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 2: their eighties and there's someone that comes around to their

787
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 2: house every day and makes them stand up out of

788
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: their chair and sit back down again, Like you have

789
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 2: to keep moving, Like you can't just go no, I

790
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 2: know how to you know those muscles are there. Everything atrophies,

791
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 2: Everything atrophies. So it's yeah, it's just a part of life.

792
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 2: You just go, I've got this thing.

793
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: And I love that there's less stigma around getting help

794
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: me too, because back in the day no one spoke

795
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: about it. But I am so confident talking about it now.

796
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: I am proud of it, and I think we mentioned

797
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: earlier it me being proactive with my mental health has

798
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 1: enabled me to get through really hard times a lot

799
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: easier because I've had things in place. So I cannot

800
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: recommend it highly enough and be bloody proud of it.

801
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what. The third thing I want you

802
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 2: to try, and as you said, like maybe we could

803
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 2: sort something out. We could run a whole series of

804
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 2: podcasts where I try to organize dates for you. It

805
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 2: is we have do have distance between us. You are

806
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 2: in a different city to me, but maybe down the track,

807
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: that's something we might be able to figure out.

808
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what.

809
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 3: If you're organizing it, I would do it.

810
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 2: It crossover.

811
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:57,800
Speaker 1: Cheap podcast type situation.

812
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 2: We wouldn't mention any of that because nine of none

813
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 2: of us have enough money to go against the water.

814
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 2: It's not going to happen, but yeah we could. We could.

815
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 2: Maybe that's some sort of crossover we could do because if,

816
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,320
Speaker 2: as they say in the Sober Club that I'm a

817
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 2: part of, if your pick is broken, then you're always

818
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 2: going to be finding people that you're disappointed with seeing

819
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 2: you that picks people isn't working right. And so until

820
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: you can get that working right, sometimes somebody else might

821
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 2: have an idea that that isn't an algorithm. I should

822
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 2: tell you I love it.

823
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to take that to my psychologist. What did

824
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: you say before? It's it's it's me that's the issue.

825
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 1: I mean, that wasn't your words.

826
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: They were the reason they were single.

827
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: I'm the reason I'm single. I need to take that.

828
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, my next gives you agency. Yeah, because new agency,

829
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 2: it's not the world hates me. I can control something here,

830
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 2: control how much time I spend on this fucking app

831
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,439
Speaker 2: or I can control am we in a writing club

832
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 2: at all? No? I can be in a walking club.

833
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 2: I can join a group of people that just go

834
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 2: for a walk every day, exactly. I can go and

835
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 2: bump up against my keymmunity and meet people like and

836
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 2: then you have something to do. You feel like a

837
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 2: little more empowered. And I think that's the that's the

838
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: really important part of it. Having agencies is really important.

839
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 2: But you know, also is getting a kid off and

840
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: lying around in the sun on a nude beach.

841
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: Exactly.

842
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 2: I've never have I done that on a beach. I

843
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: haven't done on a beach. I've done it on a rooftop. Oh,

844
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 2: but I haven't done on a beach.

845
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:23,399
Speaker 3: Fascinating that gear.

846
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 2: Wow.

847
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: Way Yeah, nude beaches. They weren't for us, no, but

848
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 1: they're for a lot of people in Sydney.

849
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 2: There's a few around the harbor and a lot of

850
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:37,879
Speaker 2: people have only ever been dudes only ever as a kid.

851
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 2: You're like, there'd be boops everywhere. Yeah, nope, it's sagging balls.

852
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: We found out. Yeah, it was a lot of men

853
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: by themselves.

854
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: Yep, that's it.

855
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 1: A little bit, a little bit strange, but no power

856
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: to you.

857
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 2: Yeah you want to do go on your rooftop though.

858
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 2: I was done roller skates, which is another story. Oh okay,

859
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 2: and there was a blimp involved. I'm not making any

860
00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 2: of this.

861
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: You're a man of many layers and talents.

862
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: So I was roller skating in my dragway with my

863
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:07,479
Speaker 2: son yesterday. It was rad.

864
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: How old is your son?

865
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:10,359
Speaker 2: Oh?

866
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: Has been a dad? Just sorry? Another question for me?

867
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: Being a dad just changed everything feel When.

868
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 2: I was a stepdad. Yeah, yeah, it started, you know,

869
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 2: she was my girlfriend's kid. And then the next day

870
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:25,919
Speaker 2: I was like, holy shit, everything's about you. I would

871
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 2: die if men you could live. Every dollar I own

872
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 2: has now got to make sure that you can have

873
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 2: the life you want. What the fuck happened? What what?

874
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 2: I'm a selfish mother? How did this happen? So, yeah,

875
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 2: don't think for a second that those instincts don't turn

876
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 2: on because they're not a biological child. That's not absolutely

877
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 2: absolutely happens.

878
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: You'd be the coolest step dad would Oh, you would be.

879
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 1: But we have to think about that dating at our wage.

880
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: We're meeting divorces now.

881
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 2: It's amazing. If you're dating someone who's serious about being

882
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,919
Speaker 2: a great dad, they'll be serious about being a great

883
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 2: partner because they don't. They will be modeling behavior towards

884
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 2: their kids, the way they speak to you in front

885
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 2: of them, and so it'll be a very different experience

886
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 2: to someone who's like, I just got back from a

887
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 2: cross treating bowie. Yeah, you know, smelling like coconut oil

888
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: and creatine. Yeah you've been. I mean, they're fine. The

889
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 2: sex is great, or is it? The sex you have

890
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 2: when you're in a long term relationship is just so transcendent,

891
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: really far far far above than the ones you have

892
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 2: when you're only young.

893
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: And we wouldn't we wouldn't know what. We're just both.

894
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what our issue is. We've just never

895
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 1: had proper long term relationships and never this is something

896
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: we've questioned and spoken to our parents about. I don't

897
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 1: know what it is. I think we just moved to Melbourne,

898
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: created these lives for ourselves, that we focused on our

899
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 1: selves and stuff like that, and yeah, all fell by

900
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 1: the wayside. So there's a lot we still need to

901
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:03,879
Speaker 1: tick off in our lives.

902
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 2: Podcast enough podcast, Let's talk to.

903
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 1: The bosses, Let's find some love.

904
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 2: Maybe back on the tools because it plays ghost, doesn't it.

905
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 2: It's like I'm in a hard hat but without form

906
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 2: and Keith and then plate of rose flowers, Franchi panties.

907
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 2: I don't know. Oh my god, denied.

908
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 1: Gets brilliant.

909
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 2: Thanks for your time, ladies, Thank you so much.

910
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 3: I'm such a great chart.

911
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: Sorry we well, I personally chewed your ear off, but

912
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: I find you very fascinating.

913
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 2: It's fine. I don't like. I started this podcast because

914
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 2: I wanted to have authentic conversations with people, and it's

915
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 2: nice to we touched and all the stuff we needed. Yeah, great,

916
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 2: spoke about everything we need to speak about. And we

917
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 2: also showed what it's like when people who don't know

918
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 2: each other start to get to know each other and

919
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 2: conversations alike, and you know that's okay. Yeah right, And

920
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 2: plus Adam's going to cud all the arms and likes

921
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 2: out so amazing.

922
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 3: It just none from your end, all from our eye.

923
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 2: Will I'll be sure that he does well.

924
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:15,800
Speaker 1: Amazing.

925
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 3: All right, We'll see you on El's bin off podcast.

926
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: Back on the Tools, back on I'm here for it

927
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 1: now nine podcast.

928
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 2: All right, I'll stop.

929
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, it's so much fun, lovely to

930
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 1: meet you.

931
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 2: Eliza and Liberty's podcast is called Try Before you Die.

932
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 2: And if you want to try something, you can try

933
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 2: buying one new book, So what now? What out now?

934
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 2: The linkers in the show notes. You can also get

935
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 2: back after the break back in print. I think the

936
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 2: fourth edition, so I don't know. I'm very grateful. They

937
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 2: have so many editions, but it's out there the links

938
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 2: in the show notes getting around it. Thank you so

939
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 2: much for listening to the show. If you like the show,

940
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,320
Speaker 2: please subscribe and follow where you can let somebody know.

941
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 2: Just tell someone about the show and if to someone,

942
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: share it to someone. Whatever you need to do. If

943
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 2: you need me, send usher email at gmail dot com.

944
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,720
Speaker 2: Send me a voicemail. Just open up your phone, record

945
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 2: a voice note, and we hit shared little arrows or

946
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:11,879
Speaker 2: the little three dots or whatever it is on your phone,

947
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 2: send it to an email. Send us your email at

948
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 2: gmail dot com, and I'd love to get to your

949
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 2: questions on a Monday, which is the next time we'll

950
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 2: be together. Thanks Adam a bunch of for producing this show.

951
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:22,919
Speaker 2: Have a wonderful week.