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Speaker 1: This is the Fitsy and with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: We've had a great relationship with this man over the years,

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Speaker 2: and he's finally he's brought out a memoir, a memoir

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Speaker 2: from the voice of Savage Guard, and it's called Unlovable.

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Speaker 2: It's out now and it's the magnificent Darren Hayes.

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Speaker 3: Welcome. Wow that applause, Thank you, Welcome.

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Speaker 1: We did that for everyone. Do you know why I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited about this?

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Speaker 3: Yes, because you're unbelievably honest and beautiful and giving, and

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Speaker 3: the book I believe will be full of that. Well. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was very hard to write. It took a year

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Speaker 3: to drop the veil. There's always a veil between as

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Speaker 3: you know, anyone in the public eye, between you and

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Speaker 3: the audience. And you know, this was a lot of

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Speaker 3: emotional burdens that I had been carrying for a long time.

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Speaker 3: I'll just give it a brief just in case people

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Speaker 3: are thinking, what is he talking about. Yeah. I had

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Speaker 3: a very traumatic childhood. So I grew up in a

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Speaker 3: home with extreme domestic violence. So my father was a

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Speaker 3: violent alcoholic. He really abused my mother and often his children.

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Speaker 3: And I have realized now that you know, I have

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Speaker 3: complex post traumatic stress disorder show because of that, And

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Speaker 3: when I was writing this book, I actually discovered there

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Speaker 3: are a lot of things that I experienced that I

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Speaker 3: had forgotten, but it just shows up in triggers in

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Speaker 3: your life, and they were destroying my life and I

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Speaker 3: didn't know.

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Speaker 1: Because they don't actually go anywhere.

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Speaker 4: I guess that's why people disassociate. Do you think that

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Speaker 4: for a long time throughout your life? That's kind of

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Speaker 4: what you did, And maybe the process of writing the

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Speaker 4: book brought so many things to the full.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's the only reason I became an entertainer.

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Speaker 3: I had no choice. So when I was a child,

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Speaker 3: home life was so bad that I had to become

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Speaker 3: the most imaginative child. I had this wonderful, magical world

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Speaker 3: that I escaped into, thank God. Then when I went

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Speaker 3: to high school, the bullying was so extreme. So the

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Speaker 3: only escape for me was to become a pop star.

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Speaker 3: Went to see Michael Jackson in nineteen eighty seven, and

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Speaker 3: I saw this extraordinary superhero, this creature, and I just thought, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'll just do that.

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Speaker 1: And then everyone will love me exactly.

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Speaker 3: And it's that story that a lot of actors and

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Speaker 3: singers have.

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Speaker 2: Can I ask what the relationship with your father and

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Speaker 2: or more particularly your mother ended up being.

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Speaker 3: No one in my family has any contact with my

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Speaker 3: father now, thank god he's still We don't know. I

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Speaker 3: don't know. My mother is seventy nine. She is. I

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Speaker 3: can't believe how joyful she is. You know. The great

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Speaker 3: thing about my career was that I was able to

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Speaker 3: help emancipate her. Sure, you know, she still retains this

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Speaker 3: zest for living. I joke about this hate waking up

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Speaker 3: like I'm like the morning She's like, yay. She's just

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Speaker 3: such a beautiful, joyful, loving person and energy that's in.

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Speaker 1: You, that is ultimately in you as well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she protected that in me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Did she get to experience your world at the top

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Speaker 2: of Savage Garden? Did you did she? Is there a

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Speaker 2: story where your mum met somebody and you're just like

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Speaker 2: in a room going, oh my god, this is unbelowing.

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Speaker 3: There is. And here's the thing. My mother is not

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Speaker 3: a star effort. My mother loves all of her children equally.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't care that I do what I do. She

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Speaker 3: only cares that I'm happy. Yes, of course I spoiled her.

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Speaker 3: We were for all intents and purposes poor. I'm really

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Speaker 3: proud of that because I felt rich. She made me

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Speaker 3: feel rich. I felt like royalty. But her thing is like,

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Speaker 3: whenever she's in Santa Monica, where I live, if she

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Speaker 3: saw a celebrity, I would very quietly go, mom, that's

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Speaker 3: Jennifer Garnet, and she goes, oh my god, I love Jennifer.

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Speaker 3: That's her thing. Yes, Sometimes bless us, she'll lie. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: you're not a fan of you know this, ABC or whatever,

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Speaker 3: and she's like, I am, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Is there anyone else you're nervous about reading the book?

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Speaker 2: No, It's fascinating to hear your background and bullied at

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Speaker 2: high school, and I can only imagine how much you

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Speaker 2: would have gone into your shell. And then you're performing

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Speaker 2: on stages like the Well, the two thousand and Sydney

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Speaker 2: Olympic closing ceremony.

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Speaker 3: You did a duet with pa A Rotti.

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Speaker 2: I can't even I can't even imagine.

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Speaker 3: Going out there and extraordinary. It was a shell. It

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Speaker 3: was a chrysalis, very very gay chrysalis just wasn't out yet,

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Speaker 3: it hadn't broken for real. It was like a pact

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Speaker 3: with the universe. I sat there, crossed arms, on my desk.

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Speaker 3: No teachers, no counselors intervened, nobody helped me, and I

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Speaker 3: just thought, I'm not like any of you. One day

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Speaker 3: I will show you. There's an anecdote in this book

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Speaker 3: where one of my bullies who beat me up ends

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Speaker 3: up coming to the Brisbane Entertainment Center and he's in

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Speaker 3: a front row and he's screaming, Darren, I love you, Darren, you?

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Speaker 3: What's that? What did you do? I was just in shock.

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Speaker 3: I just could not believe it, and I didn't feel

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Speaker 3: any need for retribution or to rub it in his face.

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Speaker 3: I felt compassion, and also I had to take into

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Speaker 3: consideration where we were all raised. We came from. You know,

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Speaker 3: I grew up in Logan City of a southern suburb

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Speaker 3: of Brisbane. Everyone was struggling. There was a lot of

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Speaker 3: dysfunctional families. I don't think my story is very unique.

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Speaker 3: Why unlovable for the longest time, I think I had

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Speaker 3: an imposter syndrome. Sadly because as much as he was

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Speaker 3: a monster, I think I always wanted my father to

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Speaker 3: love me. When I never received that, it created this

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Speaker 3: unquenchable desire to be loved, and it was a black

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Speaker 3: hole I thought if I could just be applauded and

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Speaker 3: be loved, then maybe I could use some Selly's spack

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Speaker 3: filler and just fix that problem. And it obviously, as

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Speaker 3: you know, the tailors all the time, and it doesn't

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Speaker 3: work until you do the work and love yourself.

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Speaker 4: I will tell us, now, what are the other great

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Speaker 4: things about Darren Hayes that we don't know about?

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Speaker 1: But that is not.

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Speaker 4: Savage Garden related or book writing related or you know,

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Speaker 4: you have to realize that I'm so wonderful in so

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Speaker 4: many other ways.

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Speaker 3: Goldlu Well, I'm wearing gold flu it today. You know

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Speaker 3: we're gold for you know. It's one of the things

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Speaker 3: that I love. It's hard to talk about yourself in

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Speaker 3: the positive, but I'm learning to do this. I realized

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Speaker 3: that my favorite part of my job is making people's day,

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Speaker 3: but I don't just do it on stage. Last night

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Speaker 3: I did a book signing. Now, our event started at

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Speaker 3: seven point thirty, it ended at nine. I left the

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Speaker 3: venue at midnight because I just stayed stayed. There were

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Speaker 3: people around the block, and also looking into people's eyes

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Speaker 3: and holding their hands and listening to their stories and

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Speaker 3: making them feel seen. That very powerful. It is very powerful,

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Speaker 3: and I received that from mother entertainers when I was

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Speaker 3: a young kid. I'm a fan Stevie Nicks did that

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Speaker 3: for me. When I was fifteen. I waited outside a

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Speaker 3: hotel to perform, and she came outside and she held

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Speaker 3: my hands and she looked deep into my eyes and

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Speaker 3: it meant the world to her. She was struggling at

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Speaker 3: the time now I know, with addiction. And I remember

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Speaker 3: I gave her some rosary beads and she said, oh,

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Speaker 3: wear these on stage. My fifteen year old self. That

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Speaker 3: was so struggling. She made my entire year. She drove

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Speaker 3: away and then the limo stopped. It was like something

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Speaker 3: out of a movie. She reversed, the window went down.

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Speaker 3: She went, do you have take it to the show?

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Speaker 3: And I was like, of course we do, and she's like, okay,

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Speaker 3: and then she drove off.

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Speaker 2: That's great, right, And then she wrote Gypsy about you.

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Speaker 3: About me? She wrote Gypsy, she said, so on back

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Speaker 3: to the velvet Valua and the underground. Isn't that interesting?

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Speaker 2: I never knew made. It's like, like we've said, you

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Speaker 2: have always opened up to us, and we we really

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Speaker 2: appreciate it. Is the memoir from the Voice of Savage Garden, Unlovable,

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Speaker 2: It's out now Bye Darren Hayes. Thank you so much mate.

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Speaker 2: It's always a great team.

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Speaker 3: I love coming in here. Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: Thanks a pleasure to meet you. Good to see you.

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Speaker 3: Thanks Gate. Sits in Whippa with Kate Ritchie is a

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Speaker 3: Nova podcast walk great shows like this. Download the Nova

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Speaker 3: Player by the app Store or Google playing the