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Speaker 1: Apodjay Production.

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Speaker 2: Hi everyone, it's sal I just wanted to jump on

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Speaker 2: before the next episode and give a massive shout out

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Speaker 2: to you all. Thank you for listening to the Missing

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Speaker 2: Matter podcast. We have now reached five hundred k downloads

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Speaker 2: and that means that more people are hearing these important

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Speaker 2: stories of missing loved ones all around the world in

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Speaker 2: the hope that we find that someone who knows something.

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Speaker 2: We're almost near the end of season one and I'd

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Speaker 2: love to open the opportunity up to anyone who has

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Speaker 2: a story they need to tell. If you or someone

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Speaker 2: you know could benefit by joining me in a gentle

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Speaker 2: conversation on the Missing Matter podcast, please reach out to

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Speaker 2: me at info at the Missingmatter dot com.

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Speaker 1: Stay safe.

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Speaker 3: It's been over twelve years since Lauren Whitehead vanished from

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Speaker 3: a small Victorian town. On February eighth, twenty thirteen, Lauren

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Speaker 3: was caught on CCTV leaving the local safeway. She bought

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Speaker 3: a bottle of water, a pen, and a card. Hours later,

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Speaker 3: she was gone. Her car was still in the garage,

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Speaker 3: her wallet, insulin, and a handbag laid neatly on the bed.

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Speaker 3: The front door was open, the house half packed dropsheets,

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Speaker 3: on the floor, photos stripped from the walls, as if

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Speaker 3: life had suddenly stopped mid sentence. Lauren was just forty one,

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Speaker 3: a mother of five, a survivor of cancer, a woman

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Speaker 3: finally rebuilding her life. Twelve years on, her eldest daughter, Amelia,

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Speaker 3: is still searching for answers. She was just twenty when

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Speaker 3: her mum disappeared and became responsible for four younger siblings,

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Speaker 3: feeling questions from the police and the media, and her

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Speaker 3: own grief. In this episode of The Missing Matter, Amelia

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Speaker 3: shares the story of her mum's last day, the heartbreak

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Speaker 3: of being dismissed, and the toll of living in the

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Speaker 3: unknown for more than a decade. This is the story

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Speaker 3: of Lauren Whitehead, mother, daughter, writer, missing. This is the

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Speaker 3: Missing Matter. Lauren matters.

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Speaker 2: Well, hi everyone, and welcome back to the Missing Matter.

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Speaker 2: Today I am chatting with a lovely lady about her

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Speaker 2: missing mum, Lauren Whitehead. Lauren has sadly been missing now

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Speaker 2: for six hundred and twenty five days. She was forty

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Speaker 2: one at the time of her disappearance. Amelia is now

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Speaker 2: thirty three and is the oldest of Lauren's five children.

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Speaker 2: Amelia was only twenty At the time of her mum's disappearance,

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Speaker 2: Amelia took on a lot of responsibility looking after her

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Speaker 2: four younger siblings, Meghan, Rachel, Arnold, and Quaid, who are

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Speaker 2: aged between thirteen and nine at the time of Lauren's disappearance, Amelia,

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Speaker 2: thank you for coming on and chatting with me today

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Speaker 2: in a gentle conversation about your beautiful mum, Lauren, can

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Speaker 2: you share with us a couple of your favorite memories

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Speaker 2: that you hold close to your heart about your mum.

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Speaker 4: I guess when we talk about my mum, it's really

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Speaker 4: hard just to sort of pick a specific memory, but

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Speaker 4: I guess some of the memories that sort of stick

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Speaker 4: in my mind was how mum would make the ordinary

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Speaker 4: extraordinary and she did that with you know, things like

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Speaker 4: Amelia Nights, where you know, she'd pick my favorite movie

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Speaker 4: and my favorite dinner and we'd get in front of

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Speaker 4: the TV and get to have special nights we're all

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Speaker 4: focused on me. And another memory that sort of sticks

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Speaker 4: close is Christmas. My mum was a mad Christmas fiend.

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Speaker 4: You know, she'd always make as I said, the ordinary extraordinary,

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Speaker 4: doing you know, raspberry picking and making a homemade jam

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Speaker 4: for everyone. Singing along to Michael bouble Christmas album. I

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Speaker 4: think that's another one that sort of sticks close in

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Speaker 4: my heart. She was just this really extraordinary person that

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Speaker 4: made life so much better.

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Speaker 2: She sounds like a wonderful person and too young to

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Speaker 2: go missing, and you know, be still missing today. It's

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Speaker 2: been twelve years this year, which is a long time.

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Speaker 2: I know that's very hard living without your mum, and

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Speaker 2: particularly you were like me in your twenties when she

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Speaker 2: went missing, and so therefore we have a lot of

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Speaker 2: things to live with without our mum's being there, and

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Speaker 2: like getting married and having babies, and it's tough. So

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Speaker 2: you know, my heart goes out.

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Speaker 1: To you all. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 4: Look, yeah, as you said, it's one of these things

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Speaker 4: that the happiest times often the saddest times, you know,

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Speaker 4: as you said, birth are children, marriages, graduations, those big

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Speaker 4: happy moments really sort of impact to be the saddest

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Speaker 4: moments as well, because you sort of go to Even now,

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Speaker 4: I still have the instincts like, oh, I just got

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Speaker 4: to tell mum, and I go, oh, yeah, cool, that's

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Speaker 4: not possible.

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Speaker 1: You know, even now, I still have.

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Speaker 4: That knee jerk reaction, and it's really really hard to

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Speaker 4: sort of get around that, that is for sure.

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Speaker 2: I understand that very well myself. Let's talk about what

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Speaker 2: happened around the time your mum went missing, so we

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Speaker 2: can give our listeners an understanding of who your mum

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Speaker 2: was and what was happening in her world around that time.

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Speaker 2: So it's February eighth in twenty thirteen and Bannockburn in

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Speaker 2: Victoria at four forty five pm.

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Speaker 4: So sort of the sequence of events that I understand

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Speaker 4: to be correct is that around three thirty I just

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Speaker 4: knocked off work and my mum rang me and said, hey,

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Speaker 4: I don't know what I'm going to do with the weekend.

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Speaker 4: You know, the kids are at your stepdad's. I might

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Speaker 4: go up and see your grandparents in Queensland. I might

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Speaker 4: go to a soccer game I've got I won some tickets.

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Speaker 4: I'm not really sure what I'll do, but we'll catch

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Speaker 4: up Sunday for coffee.

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Speaker 1: And then she sort of paused and.

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Speaker 4: One, I'm really sorry, life's just been so busy. I'm

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Speaker 4: just sorry, And I went, oh, you don't need to

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Speaker 4: be sorry, like I understand, things are just hard, and

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Speaker 4: she goes, yeah, I'm just sorry, and I went okay,

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Speaker 4: that's fine, you know, we'll catch up Sunday for coffee.

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Speaker 4: And she seemed to be in good spirits but just

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Speaker 4: sort of really apologetic.

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Speaker 1: And then Sissy DV.

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Speaker 4: Actually captured Lauren leaving the Bannitburn plaza, so that was

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Speaker 4: coming out of the safe way, which is what it

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Speaker 4: was at the time. She was recorded to buy a

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Speaker 4: bottle of water, a pen, and a card and then

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Speaker 4: exit out that building and go to a nab atm

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Speaker 4: which she removed one hundred and fifty dollars. There sent

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Speaker 4: some sort of mixed reports of whether she actually got

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Speaker 4: into a red full drive so she walked herself home,

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Speaker 4: which was about a two kilometer walk from that plaza.

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Speaker 4: There's another report saying that she got into the driver's

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Speaker 4: side of a red full drive, and then that full

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Speaker 4: drive was subsequently seen at her primary place of residence

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Speaker 4: over that weekend. So as to sort of what happened

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Speaker 4: after that point in time, it's not exactly one hundred

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Speaker 4: percent concrete, but that was the last known sighting we

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Speaker 4: have of my mum, and I guess from that point

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Speaker 4: over the weekend there was multiple attempts at contact from

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Speaker 4: both my siblings and myself in the normal capacity that

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Speaker 4: the kids had swimming, and then she didn't shot up

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Speaker 4: to lessons. The kids would often contact my mum every

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Speaker 4: single night while they're at their stepdad, so there was

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Speaker 4: no answer over that weekend.

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Speaker 1: This wasn't like my mom.

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Speaker 4: My mom often stayed pretty close to her phone, stayed

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Speaker 4: in contact with all of us, so we sort of

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Speaker 4: knew what was happening.

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Speaker 1: Even it was just a brief text.

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Speaker 4: Message of hey as a gym, doing this, doing that,

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Speaker 4: talk to soon whatever. It was very unlike my mum.

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Speaker 4: So by the Sunday afternoon, I was exceptionally worried. I said,

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Speaker 4: all right, if I haven't heard fro, maybe she's lost

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Speaker 4: her phone. On Monday morning, I'll give her workplace a

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Speaker 4: call and go from there.

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Speaker 1: So literally, at seven forty five.

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Speaker 4: In the morning, I rang my mom's workplace and my

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Speaker 4: mom's boss said, actually, Amelia, I was just about to

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Speaker 4: call you.

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Speaker 1: She hasn't shown up for work. Again.

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Speaker 4: My mom had five kids, it wasn't unusual for her

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Speaker 4: to be late to work, but in saying that, she

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Speaker 4: always let her boss know, hey, I'm going to be late.

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Speaker 4: This was really unusual for my mom. So he goes, look,

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Speaker 4: let's just meet at your house. Whatever you do, don't

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Speaker 4: go inside. I'm going to meet you at your house

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Speaker 4: and we'll go from there. I leave my workplace, He

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Speaker 4: leaves his workplace. We get to my house and I

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Speaker 4: can see the front door is wide open. I can

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Speaker 4: see the garages wide open. I'm desperate to go inside.

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Speaker 4: I'm very very nervous because this is not like my mum.

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Speaker 4: My mum is a single woman who lives by herself,

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Speaker 4: very very strict on security, very very set. You know,

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Speaker 4: she had the security locks always in place. I can see,

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Speaker 4: you know, the car's still in the garage. I can see.

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Speaker 4: Everything looks normal, except that she's not there. So I

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Speaker 4: just want to go inside anyway. Twenty minutes later, the

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Speaker 4: boss arrives and he goes in side first and does

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Speaker 4: a look around and says, look, she's on side, let's

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Speaker 4: go in. We went in and the house was in disarray.

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Speaker 4: There was drop sheets all over the floor like the

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Speaker 4: house was going to be painted. All the photos were

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Speaker 4: removed off the walls, the fridge, things were out of place.

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Speaker 4: There was dishes all over the sink, very very disarrayed

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Speaker 4: from the normal messy of a house with five kids.

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Speaker 1: This is exceptional.

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Speaker 4: I can see all her belongings out in the bed.

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Speaker 4: So I can see that all her wallet, her handbag,

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Speaker 4: her insulin or all laid out in the bed, just

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Speaker 4: like she's gone out for a walk.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to make this, So we called

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Speaker 1: the police.

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Speaker 4: From there, you know, we contacted everyone sort of a

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Speaker 4: mum's circle. We contacted my mom's parents, we contacted close

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Speaker 4: friends and family. I went through her contact book, so

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Speaker 4: we sort of went through that contact book individually seeing

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Speaker 4: if anyone had heard from her.

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Speaker 1: No one had.

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Speaker 4: From there, the police sort of just took basic information,

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Speaker 4: and there was sort of information come forward that Laurence

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Speaker 4: done this before. Was a comment made by my stepdad.

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Speaker 4: I said, actually we knew where she was in that

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Speaker 4: previous circumstance.

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Speaker 1: This is not normal. This is not something that is

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Speaker 1: normal for my mum.

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Speaker 4: Police then go, oh, we just put this on hold

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Speaker 4: until the aggreed custody exchange in the following Friday, so

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Speaker 4: that's when the kids would go back to their mum.

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Speaker 4: Maybe she's just gone away from mental health break. They

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Speaker 4: sort of just put it down to left it own,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 2: Choice understanding that you have a different dad to your

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Speaker 2: four siblings.

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Speaker 1: Were the kids on.

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Speaker 2: A week on week off with Lauren?

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Speaker 1: Correct?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So on that Sunday they weren't supposed to be

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Speaker 2: going back to Lauren's house. They were cared dad, okay

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Speaker 2: until the following Friday afternoon, which at the school they

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Speaker 2: would do like a drop off pickup situation.

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Speaker 1: On the Friday afternoon, Mum would pick them up from school.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, when was the last time you went to

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Speaker 2: your mum's house prior to that time?

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Speaker 4: The Wednesday night, so I'd actually moved out and moved

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Speaker 4: it with my partner's family. I was working full time

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Speaker 4: at a hospital new grad year Wednesday prior to her

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Speaker 4: going missing. I was looking after my four siblings whilst

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Speaker 4: my mum attended an accounting course. So I'd seen her

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Speaker 4: on that Wednesday night in.

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Speaker 1: Really good spirits.

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Speaker 4: She was studying, We were planning a mother daughter trip

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Speaker 4: for her birthday. I was planning on moving up to

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Speaker 4: Newcastle in the previous year, like in the next year,

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Speaker 4: so things were on all.

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Speaker 1: Accounts, you know.

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Speaker 4: She was in really good spirits, making lots of plans,

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Speaker 4: talking about lots and lots of different adventures. She wanted

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Speaker 4: to go on. You know, to me, it was the

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Speaker 4: best I'd seen her in years. It's her mental health wise,

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Speaker 4: it was the best I'd seen her in a long time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've heard her friends say that too. A lot

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Speaker 2: of her friends were like, she was the best you

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Speaker 2: know that they'd seen her in a while, after going

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Speaker 2: through a pretty rough time.

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Speaker 1: She'd had cancer.

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Speaker 2: And she'd just come out the other end of that,

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Speaker 2: so you know, she was in a pretty good space,

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Speaker 2: one would.

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Speaker 1: Think, absolutely. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Between So just for a bit of context, my stepdad

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Speaker 4: and my mum went through a pretty nasty divorce with

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Speaker 4: multiple custody hearings sort of lack in year prior to

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Speaker 4: that twenty eleven twenty twelve, very very nasty, lots and

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Speaker 4: lots of water under the bridge.

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Speaker 1: But on all.

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Speaker 4: Accounts, mutually, things were okay. In that sort of early

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Speaker 4: twenty thirteen, things were okay.

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Speaker 1: You know, of course, it's always.

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Speaker 4: Distressing going through that kind of scenario and there will

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Speaker 4: always be issues, but by all accounts things were settled.

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Speaker 4: It's just really really hard for me when you know,

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Speaker 4: for instance, media paints this picture of someone who's mentally

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Speaker 4: unwell or you know that's certainly not the case of

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Speaker 4: my experience, and from what I understand and my mum,

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Speaker 4: she was making plans, very, very the best I've ever

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Speaker 4: seen her.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, we always say that we know our

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Speaker 2: people well, and I think police and media really need

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Speaker 2: to listen to us as the next of kin or

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Speaker 2: the closest to that person when something like this does happen.

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Speaker 2: I was curious, like, so you've left on Wednesday. Had

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Speaker 2: she mentioned to you that she was going to do

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Speaker 2: any renovation or was she painting the house?

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Speaker 1: So could she talk to you about that?

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Speaker 4: Not really, So you know, she'd always talk because she

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Speaker 4: bought this little family house and Bankburn. I had always

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Speaker 4: talked about doing it up, you know, like you know,

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Speaker 4: to convert in the garage and potentially room for me

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Speaker 4: that I could stay. Different plans as you always do

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Speaker 4: with houses, constant renovation, constant planning, but nothing imminent that

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Speaker 4: I was aware of. She's certainly not talked about painting

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Speaker 4: or you know, anything like that with me.

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Speaker 2: And I think I heard you say that you had

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Speaker 2: wished that you had taken photos of what you saw inside,

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Speaker 2: because there was like a broken fruit bowl with fruit

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Speaker 2: in it that had gone rotten. The thinks was full

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Speaker 2: of dishes and things that you felt were very out

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Speaker 2: of character for your mum. She was very neat and

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Speaker 2: tidy typically, so that was very out of character.

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Speaker 1: So part of this podcast.

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Speaker 2: And talking with people who have lived experience, one of

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Speaker 2: the other things I try to help is bring an

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Speaker 2: understanding to what we go through and what we've lived

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Speaker 2: through and how things could be done better or differently

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Speaker 2: moving forward. For the Sadly the next person as like

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Speaker 2: one person goes missing every fifteen minutes in Australia now,

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Speaker 2: So I remember hearing you say that you know you

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Speaker 2: didn't think to take photos because your mum wasn't missing

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Speaker 2: to you at that point. There was just something not

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Speaker 2: right and you were expecting her to come home. Tell

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Speaker 2: everyone what that feels like and how you cope with that,

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Speaker 2: because I've done a similar thing in mum's case where

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Speaker 2: it's a sliding door moment.

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Speaker 4: It's really hard to sort of articulate or put it

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Speaker 4: into words about the what ifs. I guess that's sort

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Speaker 4: of what I call them is. You know, it adds

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Speaker 4: to this grief that you feel every single day, and

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Speaker 4: you know, I look back on everything that I've been

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Speaker 4: through and by some inside, I actually had the nouse

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Speaker 4: to do a journal. So I actually have a very

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Speaker 4: detailed journal from the very beginning of everyone I spoke

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Speaker 4: to things that happened on the day, including all the

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Speaker 4: way up till now, So from the minute that my

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Speaker 4: mum went missing, pretty much all the way up until now,

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Speaker 4: I had some kind of foresight to actually journal about

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Speaker 4: everything that I saw in great detail. But in saying that,

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Speaker 4: I didn't have the insight to take photos, and I

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Speaker 4: wish it just adds to my grief every single day

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Speaker 4: now I've reflected on this scenario. I knew my gut

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Speaker 4: from that exact moment I walked through the door that

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Speaker 4: something was not right. I knew this was not my mum,

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Speaker 4: this is not But lots of other people's words get

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Speaker 4: in your ears, Lots and lots of other people make

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Speaker 4: you feel silly. And I just see any other family

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Speaker 4: going through this scenario. I want to say, if you've

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Speaker 4: got something in your gut, go with it. You know

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Speaker 4: your people the best, and even if you are wrong,

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Speaker 4: there's no harm in overdoing it.

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Speaker 1: You can always delete the photos one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: It does play with your head I've been doing it

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Speaker 2: for a long time now. In you know, I wish

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Speaker 2: i'd just asked my mum where she was putting her

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Speaker 2: shipping container so I could find her belongings, and just

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Speaker 2: where she was staying in a hotel when she was traveling.

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Speaker 2: I just didn't think to ask those questions.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's amazing how much your mind actually goes over

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Speaker 4: all the conversations you had before.

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Speaker 1: And did I miss something?

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Speaker 3: Is that?

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Speaker 4: You know even that in that phone call I got

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Speaker 4: with her on the Friday afternoon that I'm sorry, I

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Speaker 4: go to that sorry had double meaning, you know, like

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Speaker 4: was she saying sorry that she leaving us? So she's

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Speaker 4: saying sorry that I didn't take it as that when

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Speaker 4: that phone call is happening.

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Speaker 1: But you know, you do replay those words.

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Speaker 4: Over and over and over again, thinking am I missing

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Speaker 4: something in this?

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Speaker 1: Have I missed some kind of sign?

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Speaker 4: If only I'd gone home that weekend, If only I

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Speaker 4: had gone home on the Friday afternoon, Like, you know,

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Speaker 4: there's all though I wish.

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Speaker 2: I did things, I know, and I'm sorry to drag

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Speaker 2: you back through it again. I know it's it's a

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Speaker 2: horrible thing. It cannot be very good for us too,

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Speaker 2: write like making sure we look after ourselves and making

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Speaker 2: sure that you know we're okay.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess, as you say, talking about it, but

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Speaker 4: you know, I think I've learned with dealing with services

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Speaker 4: such as the Missing Person's Advocacy Networks Louren O'Keefe. You know,

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Speaker 4: talking with people like yourself who have that actual understanding

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Speaker 4: of what you're going through. It's really hard to talk

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Speaker 4: to people who haven't been through it, and once you've

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Speaker 4: been through it, it's really hard to explain it to somebody

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Speaker 4: else unless they've been through it. It's so important that

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Speaker 4: we talk about it because, as you said, one person

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Speaker 4: in Australi goes missing every fifteen minutes is the most

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Speaker 4: under resource, underfunded. No one is actually talking about these issues,

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Speaker 4: and I feel like there's no set standard or procedure

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Speaker 4: for families.

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Speaker 1: We're working on that.

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Speaker 2: I've had Sarah Whaling came on and talking about her

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Speaker 2: new project and they're trying to put together a document

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Speaker 2: that actually helps and guides police and media working together

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Speaker 2: with what they can put out and give media a

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Speaker 2: bit of a guide.

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Speaker 1: Poll.

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Speaker 2: I guess because I feel like there's such a mixed

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Speaker 2: message and I'm sure you would agree with me with

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Speaker 2: when it comes to media and what the police want

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Speaker 2: us to do. So when the police want media and

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Speaker 2: they want to put something out there, they're all over it. Yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: And when they don't, they pull us back. And I've

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Speaker 2: spoken to families before where they're like, don't talk to

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Speaker 2: the media, don't say anything to the media. We don't

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Speaker 2: want it out in the media. What's your experience with that.

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Speaker 1: The monster that is media.

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Speaker 4: Media is our best friend and our worst enemy is

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Speaker 4: missing person's family.

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Speaker 1: It's really hard to in.

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Speaker 4: My experience, media has been this massive monster, family divider.

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Speaker 4: It's caused so much personal conflicts, so much personal grief

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Speaker 4: and harm with misinformation that the media has printed. Even

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Speaker 4: for instance, something you know you said in the beginning

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Speaker 4: about how I looked after my five siblings. I actually didn't.

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Speaker 4: I didn't look after them. I supported them emotionally. I

385
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Speaker 4: looked after them occasionally when my stepdad was not able to.

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Speaker 4: But you know, the media has painted me as this

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Speaker 4: person looking after my five siblings and you know very

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Speaker 4: much glorifying that scenario, or even that they in the

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Speaker 4: beginning stigmatized my mum to have mental health history, when

390
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Speaker 4: really she didn't. She had a little bit of personatal

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Speaker 4: depression of course, going through a nasty divorce. She had,

392
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Speaker 4: you know, periods of meant sadness, But what woman doesn't

393
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Speaker 4: when they're going through a divorce, and that, unfortunately, in

394
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Speaker 4: the very beginning, that really sort of drove the police in.

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Speaker 1: A different direction.

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Speaker 4: And I want people to know when they're typing their keyboard,

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Speaker 4: Warrior behind a screen, we can see it, family can

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Speaker 4: see it. Where people behind a screen really really important

399
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Speaker 4: what you type, and it's really really important what you

400
00:19:08,721 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 4: say and the way the media portrays the situation and

401
00:19:12,721 --> 00:19:15,281
Speaker 4: the story. You know, take for instance, our current recent

402
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,360
Speaker 4: case of Gus. The way the people are responding to

403
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Speaker 4: that situation is horrific, terrible.

404
00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:22,121
Speaker 1: It's disgusting some of the comments.

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Speaker 4: And as a family of someone who's been through these scenarios,

406
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Speaker 4: I am twenty at the time, I am so hurt

407
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Speaker 4: by everything that's coming in.

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Speaker 1: You just block media.

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Speaker 4: But I'm very very lucky that I've sort of had

410
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Speaker 4: time to evolve and understand how media works, and then

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Speaker 4: now my relationship with media is a lot better by

412
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Speaker 4: actually controlling the narrative. And that's why I love these

413
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Speaker 4: podcasts such as What You Do. It allows family to

414
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Speaker 4: control the narrative, and that's what I saw. I encourage

415
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Speaker 4: families of missing people to jump on these platforms to

416
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Speaker 4: really control your narrative, control your story, and get out

417
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Speaker 4: there the information you want to get out.

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Speaker 2: There was a time for me where someone in media

419
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Speaker 2: said to me that I like to control the narrative,

420
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Speaker 2: and I was really offended by that. Initially, I sat

421
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Speaker 2: back and thought about it and I went, damn straight,

422
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Speaker 2: I want to control the narrative because if I don't

423
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Speaker 2: control it, someone's saying the wrong thing. They're calling her

424
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Speaker 2: like I've got documents where they've called my mum Warren Brown.

425
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Speaker 2: So of course we want to control the narrative because

426
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Speaker 2: we want the information to be correct. We don't want

427
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Speaker 2: it to damage the case. And we also, on the

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Speaker 2: same flip side of that, we are very careful about

429
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Speaker 2: what we tell the media and what we put out

430
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Speaker 2: there when the case is active, because more than the

431
00:20:35,521 --> 00:20:38,081
Speaker 2: police and more than the coroners, we want to make

432
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Speaker 2: sure that there's no damage done to our case to

433
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Speaker 2: find our missing person by saying stuff in.

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Speaker 1: The media, and that can come back and.

435
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Speaker 2: Bite us on the backside too, if we're not telling

436
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 2: people what they want to hear and people get upset

437
00:20:50,481 --> 00:20:52,321
Speaker 2: with us. But that's the crux of it, and that's

438
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,161
Speaker 2: just a whole nother rollercoaster side by side to having

439
00:20:56,201 --> 00:20:58,441
Speaker 2: a missing person and dealing with all these other things.

440
00:20:58,241 --> 00:21:00,681
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, absolutely, they're the things that no one talks

441
00:21:00,721 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 4: about in regards to a missing person.

442
00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 1: Is all the financial all.

443
00:21:04,321 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 4: The media, the pressures, external pressures from No one tells

444
00:21:09,921 --> 00:21:12,841
Speaker 4: you how to navigate a missing person emotionally, no one.

445
00:21:12,921 --> 00:21:15,120
Speaker 4: The world doesn't stop just because you have that missing

446
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 4: person and you have to continue on with your air

447
00:21:18,521 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 4: quote normal life.

448
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,161
Speaker 1: But there is no five stages of grief.

449
00:21:23,201 --> 00:21:25,561
Speaker 4: There is no counsels that sort of understand I don't

450
00:21:25,561 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 4: feel in my scenario, I've never met a counsel that

451
00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 4: understands my situation can help me through navigate through those

452
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,721
Speaker 4: cycles of grief because there's no closure, there's nothing, there's

453
00:21:33,761 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 4: no outcome to sort of lay to rest. You just

454
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,041
Speaker 4: have to sort of accept the fact that they're gone

455
00:21:38,241 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 4: and you don't know why they're gone.

456
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,121
Speaker 2: And we need to be kind, right, I mean, I'm

457
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,881
Speaker 2: in a situation with my brother who took his own

458
00:21:45,921 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 2: life He was pretty heartbroken, as was I, but we

459
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,001
Speaker 2: were completely different humans. You know, I'm a person who

460
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:57,201
Speaker 2: likes to talk about things. I'm very open and communicative

461
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 2: to talking about my mum's situation.

462
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 1: My brother was not.

463
00:22:00,921 --> 00:22:04,481
Speaker 2: He was introverted, very intelligent, didn't like to talk about it.

464
00:22:04,521 --> 00:22:06,521
Speaker 2: And then you know, when we got told that they'd

465
00:22:06,561 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: located my mum and she didn't want anything to do

466
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 2: with us, essentially is what they said.

467
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,721
Speaker 1: He didn't cope very well with that.

468
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,400
Speaker 2: And it was only a couple of years later he

469
00:22:14,441 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 2: took his own life at the age of twenty seven,

470
00:22:16,801 --> 00:22:21,041
Speaker 2: and to find out twenty years later that at an

471
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:24,201
Speaker 2: inquest that no one actually physically spoke to my mum,

472
00:22:24,241 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 2: all sighted my mother. This is where I sort of

473
00:22:27,241 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 2: came into this new space that I find myself in.

474
00:22:30,041 --> 00:22:34,081
Speaker 2: Going words matter, We need to educate people. We need

475
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 2: to start at the top of the police tree. And

476
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:39,881
Speaker 2: because their knowledge and their power trickles all the way

477
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: through to their new recruits. So how are we going

478
00:22:41,921 --> 00:22:45,281
Speaker 2: to change the language or change the ideas and the

479
00:22:45,321 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 2: methodology that they work with if we don't start at

480
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 2: the top and help those people understand what it means

481
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:54,201
Speaker 2: like when you say that to somebody, you know, when

482
00:22:54,241 --> 00:22:56,121
Speaker 2: someone rings you on the phone and says, oh, we've

483
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 2: spoken to you mum, she doesn't want anything to do

484
00:22:57,721 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 2: with you.

485
00:22:58,481 --> 00:22:59,441
Speaker 1: Who even does that?

486
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 2: Like, why would you not take the time to come

487
00:23:01,441 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 2: and sit with the person and say, listen, this is

488
00:23:03,481 --> 00:23:05,561
Speaker 2: what's happened. Like they're a well position and ways that

489
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,001
Speaker 2: they could do that would make that so much about you.

490
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 4: We've had so many insensitive phone calls from police, unknowingly

491
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,400
Speaker 4: like they're just doing a job. And I understand that

492
00:23:13,441 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 4: they've got their limited resources and all this stuff, but

493
00:23:16,321 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 4: our experience with police has not been a positive one,

494
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:24,761
Speaker 4: between the ignored phone calls, that ignored emails, the updates

495
00:23:24,801 --> 00:23:28,241
Speaker 4: once every year for only you know, a handful of years. Yes,

496
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 4: in their active times they're always after you, but then

497
00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:34,680
Speaker 4: they're very, very blunt, forceful, no tact. We need this

498
00:23:34,721 --> 00:23:38,481
Speaker 4: from you, drop your life, let's do this. You can't

499
00:23:38,481 --> 00:23:41,161
Speaker 4: say anything to the media, but you know we wanted

500
00:23:41,201 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 4: in the media spotlight because we got new information to

501
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 4: come forward.

502
00:23:43,961 --> 00:23:48,161
Speaker 1: So no guidance, No, are you okay? Do you need support?

503
00:23:48,321 --> 00:23:50,761
Speaker 4: Like I don't think I've ever been asked, even with

504
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 4: all the bad news that they've have been delivered. Not

505
00:23:52,761 --> 00:23:54,961
Speaker 4: one police officer as they ever said. Do you think

506
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:58,801
Speaker 4: you might need some counseling or some psychological assistance?

507
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,200
Speaker 1: Nothing.

508
00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:03,801
Speaker 2: Can we go back to when your mum was at

509
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: home and the th that were missing from her house,

510
00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 2: tell everyone what was missing and talk about maybe her

511
00:24:11,321 --> 00:24:14,281
Speaker 2: medication and why that was a key part to your

512
00:24:14,321 --> 00:24:17,121
Speaker 2: theory as to why something else has maybe happened.

513
00:24:17,961 --> 00:24:20,401
Speaker 4: After my mum went missing, as you do, we sort

514
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,761
Speaker 4: of went through the house pretty systematically looking for any

515
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:27,321
Speaker 4: kind of clues, whereabouts, hotel cards, anything. We were just

516
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,641
Speaker 4: desperate at that stage. Police weren't really doing too much.

517
00:24:30,721 --> 00:24:33,360
Speaker 4: Things were on hold for a week, so my grandparents

518
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 4: and I just sort of went through the house looking

519
00:24:35,241 --> 00:24:38,561
Speaker 4: for information. And the only thing we could really pinpoint

520
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:41,641
Speaker 4: that was missing was her personal phone and her personal laptop.

521
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 1: They were the only two items.

522
00:24:43,961 --> 00:24:46,721
Speaker 4: No clothing there was maybe I think there was actually

523
00:24:46,721 --> 00:24:49,121
Speaker 4: a black and pink bag that was missing as well,

524
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,761
Speaker 4: but they are the only things and the items she's

525
00:24:51,801 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 4: pictured wearing on the day she went missing.

526
00:24:53,681 --> 00:24:54,481
Speaker 1: There's nothing else.

527
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,001
Speaker 4: All her clothing, her other items, and her life saving

528
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,721
Speaker 4: type one diabetes medication, all of it was still accounted

529
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:03,521
Speaker 4: for at the house and the reason why that is

530
00:25:03,561 --> 00:25:05,881
Speaker 4: so important that as a Type one I bet it myself.

531
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,961
Speaker 4: I know that that medication is I need that every

532
00:25:09,001 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 4: single day. I know that it takes two forms of

533
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,441
Speaker 4: ID and a script for me to get that medication,

534
00:25:14,521 --> 00:25:16,521
Speaker 4: so there's no way you can falsify that, and I

535
00:25:16,561 --> 00:25:19,640
Speaker 4: know it is extremely expensive. So for the fact that

536
00:25:19,681 --> 00:25:23,641
Speaker 4: she hasn't accessed that medication in you know, since twenty thirteen,

537
00:25:24,561 --> 00:25:27,721
Speaker 4: that's massive. That's what differentiates her in my mind between

538
00:25:27,921 --> 00:25:31,321
Speaker 4: another missing person and my mum is that this is

539
00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:34,281
Speaker 4: an ideable medicine. You know, she was to access that

540
00:25:34,321 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 4: medicine from anywhere, it would be registered with the National

541
00:25:37,441 --> 00:25:41,401
Speaker 4: Diabetes Australia Registry, and that registry has been checked every

542
00:25:41,481 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 4: six months since she's been missing, and none of it

543
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,041
Speaker 4: has been accessed for many months afters I don't know

544
00:25:46,041 --> 00:25:48,601
Speaker 4: whether you have done something similar, but I actually sort

545
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 4: of investigated how much would cost to get a fake ID.

546
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 4: But it's very, very expensive to get a fake ID,

547
00:25:53,521 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 4: and you know, it's something that I don't think my

548
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:56,841
Speaker 4: mum was able to do.

549
00:25:57,921 --> 00:26:03,241
Speaker 2: So she purchased a Hallmark card and she also bought

550
00:26:03,241 --> 00:26:05,521
Speaker 2: a pen which I find the pen thing bit weird

551
00:26:06,321 --> 00:26:08,241
Speaker 2: because if you were going to go home, you would

552
00:26:08,241 --> 00:26:09,761
Speaker 2: surely have a pen at your house, so why would

553
00:26:09,761 --> 00:26:11,041
Speaker 2: you need to buy a pen? So I was thinking

554
00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:13,561
Speaker 2: about it yesterday a bit more going why did she

555
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,281
Speaker 2: buy the pen? Did she know that she wasn't going

556
00:26:15,321 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 2: home at that point or something was happening and she

557
00:26:18,801 --> 00:26:21,801
Speaker 2: just desperately wanted to write something and get something to

558
00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: the kids, because she actually essentially sent that card to

559
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 2: her ex's house for the four younger siblings. Correct, And

560
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 2: let's just talk about what was on the card.

561
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,121
Speaker 4: So from my memory, it was a sort of seaside

562
00:26:39,321 --> 00:26:42,001
Speaker 4: picture where there was a smiley face in the sand

563
00:26:42,281 --> 00:26:45,041
Speaker 4: and it had print on the front don't cry because

564
00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:46,921
Speaker 4: it's over a smile because it happened.

565
00:26:47,321 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: There was nothing written on the inside. It was completely blank.

566
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 4: There was a postage stamp mark on it, so it

567
00:26:52,721 --> 00:26:55,361
Speaker 4: had been sent through like a registered post setting. There

568
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,761
Speaker 4: was no DNA evidence, as police told us, But the

569
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,521
Speaker 4: writing was also not a match for my mum. I

570
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 4: thought it did not look anything like my mum's writing

571
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 4: in that light. Also, Australia Post actually told us that

572
00:27:08,241 --> 00:27:11,321
Speaker 4: she diverted her mail at the same time, so she

573
00:27:11,521 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 4: actually diverted her mail not to come to her house

574
00:27:14,961 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 4: and was to be held at the post office for

575
00:27:16,521 --> 00:27:19,041
Speaker 4: six months in that same transaction.

576
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 2: Interesting and so the letter arrived at your stepfather's house

577
00:27:25,481 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 2: on Friday, the thirteenth of February. I wanted to mention

578
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 2: this because this is something that we've done in Mum's case.

579
00:27:31,961 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: So on the postcards and the letters that we've received

580
00:27:35,241 --> 00:27:38,961
Speaker 2: from Mump, there's these little purple line dots that sort

581
00:27:39,001 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 2: of look like they've been through a scanner, and the

582
00:27:41,521 --> 00:27:44,481
Speaker 2: scanner has put these dots on there. We were able

583
00:27:44,481 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 2: to work out that when you scan those dots, it

584
00:27:47,201 --> 00:27:51,481
Speaker 2: actually identifies where exactly that letter was posted and whether

585
00:27:51,521 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 2: it was posted in the morning or the afternoon. I

586
00:27:53,721 --> 00:27:56,001
Speaker 2: was just curious, has that been done with police? Have

587
00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:56,761
Speaker 2: they done that for you?

588
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,201
Speaker 1: I believe so.

589
00:27:58,201 --> 00:28:01,441
Speaker 4: So I believe that for my understanding, it was sent

590
00:28:01,441 --> 00:28:05,001
Speaker 4: from the Bannkburn post office in the afternoon of the

591
00:28:05,201 --> 00:28:08,880
Speaker 4: previous friday, so in that same captured time frame of

592
00:28:08,921 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 4: when she was last seen. I believe it was posted

593
00:28:11,921 --> 00:28:14,321
Speaker 4: in that same window of time. I've only ever seen

594
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 4: the card through police officers. I've never actually it was

595
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,201
Speaker 4: only shown to me in an interview setting. I've never

596
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:22,521
Speaker 4: actually been able to my stepdad's girlfriend at the time.

597
00:28:22,561 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 4: It was actually the one to open the card. You know,

598
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,161
Speaker 4: it was very distressing. All I had on the front

599
00:28:27,241 --> 00:28:29,241
Speaker 4: was to the Kaser Kids. That's litually what it said

600
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:31,921
Speaker 4: on the front was the Kaser Kids and the address

601
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 4: that was it. My mum was a horrific writer. She

602
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,961
Speaker 4: actually wrote as a hobby. She wrote books, she wrote poems,

603
00:28:38,961 --> 00:28:41,681
Speaker 4: she wrote, you know, she was a writer. And for me,

604
00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 4: that's such a key thing that there was nothing written

605
00:28:44,201 --> 00:28:44,681
Speaker 4: in the card.

606
00:28:44,721 --> 00:28:45,441
Speaker 1: It was blank.

607
00:28:46,241 --> 00:28:47,921
Speaker 4: And for me, if she was going to go away,

608
00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 4: go leave of her own volition, that's not something my

609
00:28:51,801 --> 00:28:52,321
Speaker 4: mum would do.

610
00:28:53,441 --> 00:28:58,921
Speaker 2: So talking about the police, it currently sitting with Mirrorble

611
00:28:59,041 --> 00:28:59,841
Speaker 2: Crime Investigation.

612
00:28:59,921 --> 00:29:02,081
Speaker 1: You noticed that right in Victoria, correct, Yeah.

613
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 2: Just for the purposes of people understanding the way this

614
00:29:05,321 --> 00:29:09,641
Speaker 2: conversations happening with Amelia and I today is that due

615
00:29:09,721 --> 00:29:12,881
Speaker 2: to a new media push that was done by the

616
00:29:12,921 --> 00:29:16,401
Speaker 2: family at the beginning of this year, new information has

617
00:29:16,961 --> 00:29:20,201
Speaker 2: come about. Therefore, we're not going to talk a lot

618
00:29:20,241 --> 00:29:24,001
Speaker 2: about what's happening right now in this space. We're going

619
00:29:24,081 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 2: to make sure the integrity of the case is one

620
00:29:27,321 --> 00:29:29,881
Speaker 2: hundred percent foremost the most important part of this, but

621
00:29:29,961 --> 00:29:33,801
Speaker 2: we still wanted to give everyone an opportunity to hear

622
00:29:33,881 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: about Lauren's story and Amelia and her family's journey to

623
00:29:37,841 --> 00:29:41,841
Speaker 2: find her. I did want to mention about listening to

624
00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:45,001
Speaker 2: another podcast that you've done two years ago, and the

625
00:29:45,761 --> 00:29:50,281
Speaker 2: police officer who spoke to that journalist mentioned that to date,

626
00:29:50,641 --> 00:29:53,601
Speaker 2: so we're talking ten years, there's nothing to indicate that

627
00:29:53,641 --> 00:29:59,481
Speaker 2: there's anything suspicious about your mum's disappearance. And I nearly

628
00:29:59,521 --> 00:30:02,441
Speaker 2: fell off my chair. I was that's two years ago.

629
00:30:02,881 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 2: That is not that long ago. Are we not learning anything?

630
00:30:06,521 --> 00:30:08,561
Speaker 2: Because you might have heard me say a few times,

631
00:30:08,641 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 2: you start it suspicious and you work backwards. How do

632
00:30:11,561 --> 00:30:14,601
Speaker 2: you juggle that in your head? Amelia? Like, as you say,

633
00:30:14,601 --> 00:30:16,401
Speaker 2: you've got no one offering you any support, But two

634
00:30:16,441 --> 00:30:18,641
Speaker 2: years ago they're telling you there's nothing suspicious, and now

635
00:30:18,641 --> 00:30:21,321
Speaker 2: you're saying, hey, don't speak to anybody because there's something

636
00:30:21,561 --> 00:30:23,921
Speaker 2: happening over here. How does that affect your daily life.

637
00:30:24,481 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 4: It's really hard to sort of explain in words, but

638
00:30:27,841 --> 00:30:30,441
Speaker 4: just to put it into context for listeners. When mum

639
00:30:30,441 --> 00:30:33,081
Speaker 4: initially went missing, the police officer at the very beginning said, right,

640
00:30:33,201 --> 00:30:36,761
Speaker 4: with missing people, that's three avenues. You know, self inflicted suicide,

641
00:30:37,281 --> 00:30:39,761
Speaker 4: own volition, she left of her own choice, or she's

642
00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:42,281
Speaker 4: met foul play. I think we can rule out the

643
00:30:42,281 --> 00:30:44,881
Speaker 4: foul play. I just I think she's gone of her

644
00:30:44,881 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 4: own choosing, or she's taken her own life. There's definitely

645
00:30:48,081 --> 00:30:49,761
Speaker 4: no mental health history. We'll just sort of got to

646
00:30:49,801 --> 00:30:52,321
Speaker 4: go down those two avenues, not so much the foul play.

647
00:30:52,361 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 4: And that's literally from the very beginnings sort of what

648
00:30:55,161 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 4: police drilled into us to spite families concerns, despite family's

649
00:30:59,681 --> 00:31:01,921
Speaker 4: alarm bells of this is not normal, this is not

650
00:31:02,721 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 4: all the complexities that was my mum. There was a

651
00:31:06,441 --> 00:31:10,201
Speaker 4: lot of financial and social circumstances that just didn't add

652
00:31:10,281 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 4: up in our minds, and nothing was being answered. I

653
00:31:12,961 --> 00:31:14,801
Speaker 4: felt like nothing was being taken on board for at

654
00:31:14,881 --> 00:31:18,801
Speaker 4: least the first maybe seven years, maybe even longer, maybe

655
00:31:18,841 --> 00:31:21,561
Speaker 4: even until I really did this recent media back, you

656
00:31:21,561 --> 00:31:23,761
Speaker 4: know two years ago where I did the missing podcast

657
00:31:23,801 --> 00:31:26,561
Speaker 4: with many curists. I really felt like no one was

658
00:31:26,601 --> 00:31:29,481
Speaker 4: taking me seriously and it was just ticking a box,

659
00:31:29,561 --> 00:31:32,721
Speaker 4: going through the motions, listening to our concerns.

660
00:31:32,721 --> 00:31:33,681
Speaker 1: Taking statements.

661
00:31:34,001 --> 00:31:36,401
Speaker 4: I recently had a conversation with a police officer that's

662
00:31:36,441 --> 00:31:37,441
Speaker 4: now actually in charge of.

663
00:31:37,401 --> 00:31:38,401
Speaker 1: My mum's case.

664
00:31:39,201 --> 00:31:43,801
Speaker 4: They said that they inherited three boxes of information, of

665
00:31:43,841 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 4: which when they opened it, every single day time they

666
00:31:45,961 --> 00:31:48,321
Speaker 4: talked to a key witness, four more witnesses would come

667
00:31:48,401 --> 00:31:50,161
Speaker 4: up that they'd have to speak to because they hadn't

668
00:31:50,161 --> 00:31:53,801
Speaker 4: been interviewed. Key people had never been interviewed. Despite family

669
00:31:53,841 --> 00:31:55,641
Speaker 4: saying you should really talk to this person, you should

670
00:31:55,641 --> 00:31:58,001
Speaker 4: really talk to that person. This person will have good insight.

671
00:31:58,601 --> 00:32:01,401
Speaker 4: My uncle in London has really never been interviewed. It's

672
00:32:01,521 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 4: really really hard for me as family to sort of

673
00:32:03,721 --> 00:32:05,961
Speaker 4: hear that distress in his that he's got a lot

674
00:32:06,001 --> 00:32:08,841
Speaker 4: to say here. My mum were really close and he

675
00:32:08,921 --> 00:32:12,321
Speaker 4: might have insight that one piece of the puzzle that

676
00:32:12,401 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 4: might click everything else into place, that might give some

677
00:32:16,321 --> 00:32:18,161
Speaker 4: other piece of information a new light. And that's why

678
00:32:18,201 --> 00:32:22,001
Speaker 4: I always say to people, no matter what information you have, big, small, old, new,

679
00:32:22,481 --> 00:32:24,441
Speaker 4: whatever that information is, I urge you.

680
00:32:24,401 --> 00:32:25,081
Speaker 1: To come forward.

681
00:32:25,121 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 4: I urge you to tell the police, whether it be

682
00:32:27,001 --> 00:32:29,681
Speaker 4: through a crime Stoppers or actually calling them morrible c

683
00:32:29,801 --> 00:32:32,401
Speaker 4: are you directly or messaging our Facebook page that we

684
00:32:32,481 --> 00:32:36,121
Speaker 4: have missing personal Lauren Jane Whitehead. I urge people to

685
00:32:36,281 --> 00:32:40,041
Speaker 4: message us and tell us that information because it's really important.

686
00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:42,921
Speaker 4: And I think after I did that podcast with many curis,

687
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,641
Speaker 4: we had so much information come forward that we'd never

688
00:32:45,681 --> 00:32:48,481
Speaker 4: had before. There was actually information come forward about mum

689
00:32:48,521 --> 00:32:51,481
Speaker 4: being seen getting into either one report says the driver's side,

690
00:32:51,521 --> 00:32:55,281
Speaker 4: one report says the passenger side of a red fall drive,

691
00:32:55,521 --> 00:32:58,121
Speaker 4: and then that full driver was supposedly then seen multiple

692
00:32:58,201 --> 00:33:01,161
Speaker 4: times over that weekend between the eighth and the eleventh,

693
00:33:01,881 --> 00:33:03,601
Speaker 4: going in and out of her residence or on the

694
00:33:03,641 --> 00:33:06,121
Speaker 4: nature strip of her actual resist sidence, which that's all

695
00:33:06,121 --> 00:33:07,281
Speaker 4: new information for family.

696
00:33:07,321 --> 00:33:09,321
Speaker 1: We're not aware of that until it was actually.

697
00:33:09,001 --> 00:33:10,801
Speaker 4: Released to the media. We were not told of that

698
00:33:10,841 --> 00:33:14,001
Speaker 4: before that media release so fast. It was quite just

699
00:33:14,041 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 4: stressing that the police didn't tell us before the media.

700
00:33:17,041 --> 00:33:18,401
Speaker 4: You know, it's a massive deal.

701
00:33:19,241 --> 00:33:20,041
Speaker 1: I know myself.

702
00:33:20,361 --> 00:33:23,601
Speaker 2: I had a complete meltdown sitting in my mum's inquest

703
00:33:23,681 --> 00:33:27,881
Speaker 2: because a gentleman who was a person that the coroner

704
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:29,921
Speaker 2: referred to as a significant person of interest in my

705
00:33:30,001 --> 00:33:32,321
Speaker 2: mum's case, he admitted to having an affair with my mum.

706
00:33:32,361 --> 00:33:35,361
Speaker 2: He's on her timeline at the time she disappeared. He

707
00:33:35,441 --> 00:33:38,321
Speaker 2: was asked bluntly in court in front of me, did

708
00:33:38,361 --> 00:33:41,081
Speaker 2: you murder Marian Barter? And he said no, and he

709
00:33:41,161 --> 00:33:43,161
Speaker 2: got up and he walked out on his WHEELI walker

710
00:33:43,321 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 2: and most of the court had left because we were

711
00:33:45,521 --> 00:33:48,201
Speaker 2: breaking for lunch, and my whole body I remember leaning

712
00:33:48,201 --> 00:33:50,721
Speaker 2: forward and I asked for a tissue and I literally

713
00:33:50,801 --> 00:33:53,121
Speaker 2: just had a complete meltdown. My body, My whole body

714
00:33:53,201 --> 00:33:56,241
Speaker 2: was convulsing. I was shaking, and they're like, what can

715
00:33:56,281 --> 00:33:59,721
Speaker 2: we do, and he's like, do something like yeah.

716
00:33:59,281 --> 00:34:02,041
Speaker 1: This is amazing things that hit you.

717
00:34:02,121 --> 00:34:04,281
Speaker 4: So an example I have exactly like this is that

718
00:34:04,281 --> 00:34:06,801
Speaker 4: I was working night shift in the hospital that I

719
00:34:06,841 --> 00:34:09,441
Speaker 4: work out here, and I was sitting in the staff

720
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:11,721
Speaker 4: room and on the board in the staffroom there was

721
00:34:11,761 --> 00:34:13,601
Speaker 4: like a patient board where you can see people who

722
00:34:13,681 --> 00:34:14,041
Speaker 4: come in.

723
00:34:14,521 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: And then I'm looking at.

724
00:34:15,401 --> 00:34:17,441
Speaker 4: The board and there's a forty one year old female

725
00:34:17,721 --> 00:34:21,161
Speaker 4: who had the name Lauren Whitehead, spelled exactly as my mum.

726
00:34:21,161 --> 00:34:24,921
Speaker 4: My mum has quite particular spelling of her name of Lubrin,

727
00:34:25,041 --> 00:34:29,201
Speaker 4: so very particular spelling of Lauren, same age, same demographic.

728
00:34:29,881 --> 00:34:32,001
Speaker 4: I'm sitting there, I jump up from my lunch, I

729
00:34:32,121 --> 00:34:34,321
Speaker 4: run out to the bay that she was in. I

730
00:34:34,521 --> 00:34:37,201
Speaker 4: throw away from the curtain and you don't even think,

731
00:34:37,321 --> 00:34:40,081
Speaker 4: you don't even think it wasn't my mum. But and

732
00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:42,801
Speaker 4: then I broke down. You just it's amazing things that

733
00:34:42,881 --> 00:34:46,201
Speaker 4: trigger you. With this life and this grease cycle that

734
00:34:46,241 --> 00:34:48,721
Speaker 4: we go through, it's really hard when you don't think

735
00:34:48,761 --> 00:34:49,121
Speaker 4: about it.

736
00:34:49,161 --> 00:34:51,281
Speaker 1: I know this might kind of hit a bit close

737
00:34:51,321 --> 00:34:51,681
Speaker 1: to home for.

738
00:34:51,681 --> 00:34:54,561
Speaker 4: A lot of family members, but when I stop and

739
00:34:54,601 --> 00:34:57,681
Speaker 4: think about this as my loved one, there's my mum

740
00:34:57,801 --> 00:35:01,161
Speaker 4: and not just a case and not just a project

741
00:35:01,241 --> 00:35:02,001
Speaker 4: that we're.

742
00:35:01,801 --> 00:35:05,041
Speaker 1: Forced into and doing it hurts. It hurts so much.

743
00:35:05,321 --> 00:35:07,481
Speaker 4: It's too hard to think about it personally all the

744
00:35:07,521 --> 00:35:10,241
Speaker 4: time because you just wouldn't cope. I know I wouldn't

745
00:35:10,281 --> 00:35:12,361
Speaker 4: hope if I didn't actually put a hat on of

746
00:35:13,441 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 4: something completely different. I have to completely disassociate from being

747
00:35:16,481 --> 00:35:19,041
Speaker 4: a daughter. And I think that's the thing that no

748
00:35:19,081 --> 00:35:21,641
Speaker 4: one talks about with missing families, is you actually take away.

749
00:35:21,681 --> 00:35:23,641
Speaker 4: So for instance, even in my personal life, I'm not

750
00:35:23,681 --> 00:35:26,881
Speaker 4: really a sister anymore. They're my business partners because we

751
00:35:26,921 --> 00:35:29,081
Speaker 4: still look after all my mum's finances and assets.

752
00:35:29,121 --> 00:35:29,721
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong.

753
00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:32,161
Speaker 4: We still have elements of being siblings, but I feel

754
00:35:32,161 --> 00:35:35,441
Speaker 4: like that whole relationship has been robbed from us because

755
00:35:35,441 --> 00:35:37,241
Speaker 4: we are business partners and we have to talk about

756
00:35:37,281 --> 00:35:39,281
Speaker 4: mum's finances all the time, and we have to talk

757
00:35:39,281 --> 00:35:41,841
Speaker 4: about mum's situation all the time. So we're not really

758
00:35:41,841 --> 00:35:47,081
Speaker 4: siblings anymore. We're just associates. And it's really sad. It's awful.

759
00:35:47,121 --> 00:35:49,521
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm not a daughter anymore. I'm just

760
00:35:49,521 --> 00:35:53,201
Speaker 4: someone who's managing her affairs and doing all these things.

761
00:35:53,201 --> 00:35:55,721
Speaker 4: And she's robbed all these years from my life. And

762
00:35:55,761 --> 00:35:58,921
Speaker 4: I feel like all this stress. And you know, I

763
00:35:58,921 --> 00:36:00,281
Speaker 4: don't know about you, but I've had a lot of

764
00:36:00,281 --> 00:36:02,201
Speaker 4: people go, what would you do if you come back

765
00:36:02,201 --> 00:36:04,681
Speaker 4: home tomorrow? What would you say? What would you do?

766
00:36:04,721 --> 00:36:06,681
Speaker 4: When I I have no idea. First I'd be probably

767
00:36:06,681 --> 00:36:11,001
Speaker 4: really mad, I'd probably faint, and then I don't know

768
00:36:11,041 --> 00:36:13,121
Speaker 4: what I'd do. But you know, it's so hard to

769
00:36:13,201 --> 00:36:15,841
Speaker 4: think about this in a personal context rather than just

770
00:36:15,881 --> 00:36:19,841
Speaker 4: slack all business hats on kind of process.

771
00:36:19,641 --> 00:36:22,481
Speaker 2: It's such a weird space. I'm very closed off. I

772
00:36:22,521 --> 00:36:27,001
Speaker 2: think to my reality that my mummy is missing, and

773
00:36:27,041 --> 00:36:29,041
Speaker 2: I know I talk about it and I'm open about it.

774
00:36:29,121 --> 00:36:31,161
Speaker 2: But to be able to do that, I have to

775
00:36:31,201 --> 00:36:35,161
Speaker 2: put myself in that position, because like you, we get upset,

776
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:38,641
Speaker 2: we cry, it's upsetting, and we can't sit here and

777
00:36:38,681 --> 00:36:41,241
Speaker 2: talk about it as openly as we are if we

778
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:42,361
Speaker 2: don't put on that hat.

779
00:36:42,481 --> 00:36:45,281
Speaker 4: Absolutely, but I also know that if I don't do it,

780
00:36:45,321 --> 00:36:47,521
Speaker 4: no one else will. And this is the thing that

781
00:36:47,561 --> 00:36:51,601
Speaker 4: I've come to the realization that police are so under resourced.

782
00:36:51,801 --> 00:36:53,361
Speaker 4: They have no idea what we go through. They have

783
00:36:53,441 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 4: never been through anything like most of the police officers speech.

784
00:36:56,001 --> 00:36:57,561
Speaker 4: You have no clue what we go through on the daily,

785
00:36:57,561 --> 00:37:00,001
Speaker 4: what their phone calls do when they ring you and

786
00:37:00,041 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 4: they tell you information blase a. They have no idea

787
00:37:03,041 --> 00:37:05,281
Speaker 4: that for two weeks, three weeks, four weeks after towards

788
00:37:05,281 --> 00:37:08,281
Speaker 4: I'm still manifesting on that phone call. I'm still fixated

789
00:37:08,441 --> 00:37:10,961
Speaker 4: on every little word that they've told me that I

790
00:37:11,041 --> 00:37:13,321
Speaker 4: go on and I add it to my journal about

791
00:37:13,321 --> 00:37:15,401
Speaker 4: what who I've had a conversation with and what's happened.

792
00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:17,441
Speaker 1: And they don't.

793
00:37:17,241 --> 00:37:21,201
Speaker 4: Understand the gravity of emotionally how it affects you know.

794
00:37:21,241 --> 00:37:24,881
Speaker 4: For instance, even my grandparents are my mum's parents. I

795
00:37:24,921 --> 00:37:26,681
Speaker 4: have my grief. But there the nine times are by

796
00:37:26,761 --> 00:37:29,001
Speaker 4: ten when I think of them, she's losing a child.

797
00:37:29,441 --> 00:37:32,561
Speaker 4: Now I've had a child myself. I can't even imagine

798
00:37:32,561 --> 00:37:35,241
Speaker 4: what they go through on the daily. And they are

799
00:37:35,281 --> 00:37:38,681
Speaker 4: these strong people that every single time the police officers

800
00:37:38,721 --> 00:37:41,001
Speaker 4: talk to them, as you can imagine, they're hanging off

801
00:37:41,041 --> 00:37:43,681
Speaker 4: every single word these police officers are saying, because all

802
00:37:43,681 --> 00:37:45,361
Speaker 4: they want is they little go home and to know

803
00:37:45,401 --> 00:37:48,601
Speaker 4: what's happened to their little girl. And that is what

804
00:37:48,681 --> 00:37:51,561
Speaker 4: Lauren is. Lauren is their child, Lauren is my mum.

805
00:37:51,721 --> 00:37:55,681
Speaker 4: Lauren is a best friend Lauren has And through this process,

806
00:37:55,721 --> 00:37:57,801
Speaker 4: I've learned that she is so much more than what

807
00:37:57,841 --> 00:38:00,561
Speaker 4: I ever thought. You know, she was an elite swimmer,

808
00:38:00,921 --> 00:38:03,321
Speaker 4: she wanted to be a nurse. I found out all

809
00:38:03,361 --> 00:38:05,321
Speaker 4: these things about my mum that I never found out

810
00:38:05,361 --> 00:38:07,921
Speaker 4: before she went missing. And all these people have come

811
00:38:07,961 --> 00:38:11,321
Speaker 4: out of the woodwork being her friend and the amazing things.

812
00:38:11,081 --> 00:38:11,841
Speaker 1: That she has done.

813
00:38:12,881 --> 00:38:17,121
Speaker 4: It's really really amazing to me that I wish I

814
00:38:17,161 --> 00:38:19,281
Speaker 4: could sort of articulate and put into better words about.

815
00:38:19,441 --> 00:38:21,601
Speaker 4: You know, she was this amazing person that is so

816
00:38:21,681 --> 00:38:23,121
Speaker 4: much more than a missing person poster.

817
00:38:26,161 --> 00:38:30,041
Speaker 2: Am I correct in thinking that there is an inquest

818
00:38:30,761 --> 00:38:32,721
Speaker 2: coming for your mum.

819
00:38:32,761 --> 00:38:36,161
Speaker 4: Correct, So after the many Caress podcasts will given a

820
00:38:36,361 --> 00:38:41,241
Speaker 4: coronial inquest number. But from my understanding, there's too much

821
00:38:41,281 --> 00:38:45,161
Speaker 4: information at the moment to the police side of things

822
00:38:45,321 --> 00:38:49,161
Speaker 4: to submit an inquest. So they're still finalizing things on

823
00:38:49,241 --> 00:38:52,721
Speaker 4: their end to be able to submit all the information.

824
00:38:52,961 --> 00:38:54,961
Speaker 4: So that's what I understand the hold up to be.

825
00:38:55,081 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 4: But I may be wrong in that understanding. The police

826
00:38:57,481 --> 00:39:00,361
Speaker 4: still haven't submitted their inquest documents.

827
00:39:00,201 --> 00:39:02,921
Speaker 2: Okay, And this is another problem, right because Victoria is

828
00:39:02,921 --> 00:39:06,161
Speaker 2: different in yourself Wales. Yeah, in New South Wales they

829
00:39:06,201 --> 00:39:09,281
Speaker 2: have to write a report for the coroner that oh

830
00:39:09,361 --> 00:39:12,041
Speaker 2: I see, so the officer in charge and then that

831
00:39:12,241 --> 00:39:14,401
Speaker 2: report goes to the coroner and then the coroner makes

832
00:39:14,401 --> 00:39:17,281
Speaker 2: a decision based on that report whether they are going

833
00:39:17,361 --> 00:39:20,081
Speaker 2: to take it to an inquest or not. Is what

834
00:39:20,321 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: happened for me in my case. And it was only

835
00:39:22,481 --> 00:39:25,761
Speaker 2: after we went public and I did a podcast that

836
00:39:25,961 --> 00:39:28,801
Speaker 2: all this sort of started to roll out, Which is interesting,

837
00:39:28,841 --> 00:39:29,241
Speaker 2: isn't it.

838
00:39:30,081 --> 00:39:32,121
Speaker 4: That's exactly what ours did to the minute we started

839
00:39:32,121 --> 00:39:34,601
Speaker 4: getting high media profile. We've been pushing for a coronal

840
00:39:34,641 --> 00:39:37,601
Speaker 4: inquest for many sort of that year seven just to

841
00:39:37,601 --> 00:39:40,241
Speaker 4: settle her financial affairs. So in Victoria, for instance, we

842
00:39:40,281 --> 00:39:42,601
Speaker 4: can't settle any of the financial debt.

843
00:39:42,641 --> 00:39:42,961
Speaker 1: Tax.

844
00:39:43,281 --> 00:39:45,841
Speaker 4: We're still doing her tax return yearly. We're still paying

845
00:39:45,881 --> 00:39:47,921
Speaker 4: her mortgage, We're still doing things like that.

846
00:39:48,241 --> 00:39:49,961
Speaker 1: So her house is still there.

847
00:39:50,081 --> 00:39:52,801
Speaker 2: Correct, her house is currently being leased. And her car

848
00:39:52,921 --> 00:39:54,761
Speaker 2: was still in the garage right correct.

849
00:39:54,841 --> 00:39:59,001
Speaker 4: So I had to personally buy her car. I bought

850
00:39:59,001 --> 00:40:01,041
Speaker 4: her car, put the money into her accounts, so we

851
00:40:01,081 --> 00:40:03,161
Speaker 4: agreed on a value as a family. I bought her

852
00:40:03,161 --> 00:40:05,921
Speaker 4: car and we held onto the car for thinks five

853
00:40:05,961 --> 00:40:08,161
Speaker 4: to seven years after she went missing. My husband and

854
00:40:08,201 --> 00:40:11,081
Speaker 4: I actually drove that car, which is so much grief

855
00:40:11,121 --> 00:40:14,961
Speaker 4: in itself. That layer trauma is the stuff that no

856
00:40:14,961 --> 00:40:17,681
Speaker 4: one navigates you through like. We couldn't get legal even

857
00:40:17,761 --> 00:40:19,921
Speaker 4: legal advice was super hard to obtain because it was

858
00:40:19,921 --> 00:40:21,681
Speaker 4: such a unique circumstances. We had to try and cancel

859
00:40:21,721 --> 00:40:24,361
Speaker 4: a gym membership. And oh my lord, can you just

860
00:40:24,361 --> 00:40:26,361
Speaker 4: get her to give you a call in person? Was

861
00:40:26,401 --> 00:40:28,161
Speaker 4: the comment we got over the phone. I went, she

862
00:40:28,561 --> 00:40:30,641
Speaker 4: is missing. If she calls you, please let me know.

863
00:40:31,201 --> 00:40:32,561
Speaker 4: I said that to the worker over the phone.

864
00:40:32,641 --> 00:40:33,241
Speaker 1: So she's missing.

865
00:40:33,281 --> 00:40:35,281
Speaker 4: I just want to cancel her gym membership or she

866
00:40:35,321 --> 00:40:37,201
Speaker 4: actually needs to call in person if we want to

867
00:40:37,241 --> 00:40:38,161
Speaker 4: cancel that membership.

868
00:40:38,161 --> 00:40:40,401
Speaker 1: And I was like, it took me nearly two and

869
00:40:40,441 --> 00:40:41,641
Speaker 1: a half years to cancel that.

870
00:40:42,241 --> 00:40:43,801
Speaker 4: We were paying a gym membership for nearly two and

871
00:40:43,841 --> 00:40:46,641
Speaker 4: a half years because we couldn't individually cancel it as

872
00:40:46,721 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 4: until I got a legal representation of being her.

873
00:40:49,401 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: Advocate, which you have to pay for.

874
00:40:52,601 --> 00:40:54,401
Speaker 4: It was like three hundred and six dollars an hour

875
00:40:54,561 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 4: of a legal representative to pay for these fees. These

876
00:40:58,961 --> 00:41:01,041
Speaker 4: are all the things that just I wish I could

877
00:41:01,081 --> 00:41:03,081
Speaker 4: help others through that. And I guess that's why I

878
00:41:03,161 --> 00:41:06,801
Speaker 4: jump on these podcasts talk about it in such openness,

879
00:41:07,481 --> 00:41:10,761
Speaker 4: and it's because I never want someone feeling alone in

880
00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:13,121
Speaker 4: this because we felt so alone. I don't know about you,

881
00:41:13,201 --> 00:41:16,041
Speaker 4: but I was the most. It was trauma and trauma,

882
00:41:16,121 --> 00:41:19,081
Speaker 4: and I sometimes feel like it's the trauma my mum

883
00:41:19,161 --> 00:41:22,841
Speaker 4: is one thing, but it's the having to everything else,

884
00:41:23,681 --> 00:41:26,601
Speaker 4: see everything else that kills you as a person essentially.

885
00:41:27,081 --> 00:41:29,321
Speaker 2: And we're taking it all on ourselves because, as you say,

886
00:41:29,361 --> 00:41:31,761
Speaker 2: we're the only ones here doing it. There's no team

887
00:41:31,801 --> 00:41:35,241
Speaker 2: behind us. We're just there. To muddel our way through

888
00:41:35,361 --> 00:41:38,561
Speaker 2: because there's no guidebook and potentially there should be a

889
00:41:38,841 --> 00:41:41,121
Speaker 2: helping hand. I know Lauren, like I was part of

890
00:41:41,201 --> 00:41:45,121
Speaker 2: helping with ambiguous loss cards that we did through MPEN

891
00:41:45,241 --> 00:41:48,801
Speaker 2: And but we need more out there, and we need funding.

892
00:41:49,121 --> 00:41:51,801
Speaker 2: Lauren's doing all this work and Susie does all this work,

893
00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:53,561
Speaker 2: and it's out of their own back pocket and out

894
00:41:53,601 --> 00:41:57,321
Speaker 2: of fundraising and out of donations from people. So hopefully

895
00:41:57,561 --> 00:42:00,401
Speaker 2: we will be heard, and doing these podcasts is obviously good.

896
00:42:00,721 --> 00:42:03,401
Speaker 2: The more each we have, the better opportunity we have

897
00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:06,841
Speaker 2: to make sure that people actually are listening of what

898
00:42:06,881 --> 00:42:08,961
Speaker 2: we're actually dealing with. It's not just the fact that

899
00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:12,681
Speaker 2: our mums are missing. There's ABCDEFG going all the way

900
00:42:12,721 --> 00:42:14,921
Speaker 2: down in all the other things that we have to

901
00:42:14,921 --> 00:42:17,601
Speaker 2: cope with and deal with. And the fact that you

902
00:42:17,641 --> 00:42:19,601
Speaker 2: haven't had an inquest yet so therefore you haven't been

903
00:42:19,601 --> 00:42:21,481
Speaker 2: able to finalize your mum. You don't have a death

904
00:42:21,481 --> 00:42:24,561
Speaker 2: certificate for her, I would assume either, and therefore you

905
00:42:24,601 --> 00:42:27,161
Speaker 2: can't sell our house, you can't close her things and

906
00:42:28,241 --> 00:42:31,881
Speaker 2: just have an element of peace that that is done.

907
00:42:32,201 --> 00:42:34,241
Speaker 2: It's a horrible thing to do. I only just went

908
00:42:34,281 --> 00:42:37,001
Speaker 2: through it last year myself. Twenty seven years took me

909
00:42:37,081 --> 00:42:39,561
Speaker 2: to get a deertificate for my mum. They were still

910
00:42:39,641 --> 00:42:43,761
Speaker 2: charging my mum a monthly transaction fee on her bank accounts,

911
00:42:44,721 --> 00:42:47,841
Speaker 2: even though she's missing. All those tiny, tiny, tiny little

912
00:42:47,881 --> 00:42:50,761
Speaker 2: things which don't probably seem like much in the scheme

913
00:42:50,801 --> 00:42:53,921
Speaker 2: of it, but when you add them all together, it's monumental.

914
00:42:54,161 --> 00:42:59,121
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Look, it is absolutely monumental. And it's those tiny

915
00:42:59,121 --> 00:43:00,961
Speaker 4: things that add to the grief backpack, that's what I

916
00:43:01,001 --> 00:43:03,281
Speaker 4: call it. It's like, every single day since she's missing,

917
00:43:03,321 --> 00:43:06,001
Speaker 4: I've been wearing this backpack and some days it's so

918
00:43:06,081 --> 00:43:08,161
Speaker 4: heavy that I just can't carry it by myself and

919
00:43:08,201 --> 00:43:10,441
Speaker 4: I have to lean on others and I feel like

920
00:43:10,481 --> 00:43:12,721
Speaker 4: I just want to rip it apart and throw it

921
00:43:12,761 --> 00:43:15,041
Speaker 4: at the bin. But then other days I barely feel it,

922
00:43:15,121 --> 00:43:17,721
Speaker 4: and you know, I know it's still there, but you know,

923
00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:19,521
Speaker 4: you just have to carry on with life as air

924
00:43:19,641 --> 00:43:20,201
Speaker 4: quote normal.

925
00:43:20,921 --> 00:43:23,361
Speaker 2: Well, you are doing an amazing job. I really take

926
00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:25,921
Speaker 2: my hat off to you, and I know it's been

927
00:43:25,921 --> 00:43:28,481
Speaker 2: a really huge journey for you. I mean to have

928
00:43:28,521 --> 00:43:30,761
Speaker 2: this happen to you at twenty you're now thirty three.

929
00:43:31,561 --> 00:43:34,601
Speaker 2: You know your mum yourself and it's hard to manage

930
00:43:34,641 --> 00:43:36,641
Speaker 2: and keep moving and putting your foot forward, but you're

931
00:43:36,641 --> 00:43:37,681
Speaker 2: doing an amazing.

932
00:43:37,441 --> 00:43:38,321
Speaker 1: Job, and thank you.

933
00:43:38,401 --> 00:43:40,681
Speaker 2: I'm proud of you for what you're doing as well,

934
00:43:40,721 --> 00:43:43,681
Speaker 2: because it is it is hard, and know that as

935
00:43:43,721 --> 00:43:46,441
Speaker 2: part of this too, we become family in this space,

936
00:43:46,481 --> 00:43:48,921
Speaker 2: and we become friends as well and look after each

937
00:43:48,921 --> 00:43:51,561
Speaker 2: other and just have someone to chat to who actually

938
00:43:51,681 --> 00:43:54,081
Speaker 2: understands it a little bit better than maybe someone who

939
00:43:54,401 --> 00:43:56,601
Speaker 2: hasn't been through it one hundred percent. Like I know,

940
00:43:56,641 --> 00:43:59,041
Speaker 2: a lot of people try very hard to grapple with

941
00:43:59,121 --> 00:44:01,921
Speaker 2: what we're going through, and there are some really beautiful

942
00:44:01,961 --> 00:44:04,401
Speaker 2: humans out there. If that's probably the good thing that

943
00:44:04,441 --> 00:44:06,161
Speaker 2: comes out of this space is.

944
00:44:06,281 --> 00:44:07,121
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.

945
00:44:07,401 --> 00:44:10,201
Speaker 4: I have met so many beautiful people like Laurena keep,

946
00:44:10,281 --> 00:44:13,481
Speaker 4: like Susie Radcliffe, like Denise and Bruce Morcombe, like.

947
00:44:13,681 --> 00:44:15,961
Speaker 1: You know other list goes on and on, like yourself.

948
00:44:16,081 --> 00:44:18,841
Speaker 4: I've met so many amazing people that just give so

949
00:44:19,001 --> 00:44:23,081
Speaker 4: much life, and you never know this space exists until

950
00:44:23,121 --> 00:44:26,161
Speaker 4: you're in it. I encourage all people out there who

951
00:44:26,161 --> 00:44:28,921
Speaker 4: are going through this scenario, don't do it alone. Don't

952
00:44:29,321 --> 00:44:31,961
Speaker 4: reach out to these us, reach out to all of us.

953
00:44:32,041 --> 00:44:35,281
Speaker 4: We will always have a listening ear, you know, like

954
00:44:35,321 --> 00:44:37,121
Speaker 4: we'll always guide you through things the best we can

955
00:44:37,241 --> 00:44:40,321
Speaker 4: because we've been through it, and like I are just

956
00:44:40,401 --> 00:44:42,961
Speaker 4: anyone going through anything hard.

957
00:44:43,161 --> 00:44:45,961
Speaker 1: It's such you don't have to be alone in this.

958
00:44:47,881 --> 00:44:50,641
Speaker 2: I did notice that you're colecting all of the articles

959
00:44:50,641 --> 00:44:52,801
Speaker 2: and the newspaper clippings and everything, and they're in this

960
00:44:52,881 --> 00:44:56,681
Speaker 2: beautifully presented album that you've got. That must be such

961
00:44:57,001 --> 00:44:59,441
Speaker 2: a big treasure for you, I guess, and part of

962
00:44:59,481 --> 00:45:02,321
Speaker 2: your journey, but would probably hold a lot of stress

963
00:45:02,361 --> 00:45:06,121
Speaker 2: and emotion and heartache in there as well.

964
00:45:06,241 --> 00:45:06,521
Speaker 1: Yeah.

965
00:45:06,561 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 4: So I have something called my memory book. And when

966
00:45:09,961 --> 00:45:13,001
Speaker 4: my mom went missing, probably about four months in I

967
00:45:13,081 --> 00:45:16,281
Speaker 4: graduated from UNI, so I actually completed my nursing degree,

968
00:45:16,281 --> 00:45:18,121
Speaker 4: which we always talked about, like, you know, I can't

969
00:45:18,121 --> 00:45:19,561
Speaker 4: wait to see you get up there and graduate, was

970
00:45:19,561 --> 00:45:22,401
Speaker 4: always my mum's words, and I started making it at

971
00:45:22,401 --> 00:45:24,881
Speaker 4: that point where I started keeping a book of everything

972
00:45:24,921 --> 00:45:28,801
Speaker 4: significant myself and my siblings did, and the media articles

973
00:45:28,841 --> 00:45:32,321
Speaker 4: and everything. So when she came back, I could give

974
00:45:32,361 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 4: her the book and I could say this is everything

975
00:45:35,001 --> 00:45:36,761
Speaker 4: you've missed and said of me trying to catch her up.

976
00:45:37,041 --> 00:45:39,681
Speaker 1: That was my thought process initially was to catch her up.

977
00:45:39,561 --> 00:45:42,841
Speaker 4: On life, but then over time, over the last you know,

978
00:45:43,321 --> 00:45:46,361
Speaker 4: thirteen years. It's the day I gave birth to my daughter.

979
00:45:46,641 --> 00:45:49,121
Speaker 4: I wrote a letter to my mum about, you know,

980
00:45:49,281 --> 00:45:52,641
Speaker 4: the feelings that I wished I could share with her,

981
00:45:53,041 --> 00:45:57,081
Speaker 4: and that's gone into the book. When my daughter said,

982
00:45:57,281 --> 00:46:00,281
Speaker 4: who's that in the photo and I said, that's your nana,

983
00:46:01,001 --> 00:46:04,081
Speaker 4: and you know, she's actually talking and she's three now

984
00:46:04,601 --> 00:46:07,401
Speaker 4: she knows who Nana Lauren is and she doesn't really

985
00:46:07,481 --> 00:46:09,841
Speaker 4: understand the context of you know, Nana Lauren, but that

986
00:46:09,921 --> 00:46:13,001
Speaker 4: Nana Lauren's not here anymore. Like I want her to

987
00:46:13,041 --> 00:46:15,721
Speaker 4: know my mom in capacity, but it's so hard to

988
00:46:15,761 --> 00:46:18,361
Speaker 4: sort of explain that to just Nana Lauren's not here anymore.

989
00:46:18,961 --> 00:46:20,441
Speaker 4: And you know, I wrote my mam a letter in

990
00:46:20,441 --> 00:46:22,161
Speaker 4: that stage, so that all goes in this book. And

991
00:46:22,241 --> 00:46:25,921
Speaker 4: for me, I think it's very casartic in that it

992
00:46:26,001 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 4: gives me peace and closure that she was to walk

993
00:46:28,481 --> 00:46:30,081
Speaker 4: through back that door. I'm living my life to the

994
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:32,161
Speaker 4: fullest because that's what she'd want. I know that she

995
00:46:32,201 --> 00:46:35,001
Speaker 4: wanted what was best for us kids. She'd always put

996
00:46:35,201 --> 00:46:37,721
Speaker 4: us first, beyond everything, and that's the kind of person

997
00:46:37,721 --> 00:46:41,161
Speaker 4: my mum was. She was a mum before everything, before

998
00:46:41,161 --> 00:46:44,401
Speaker 4: her personal life, before her health and well being.

999
00:46:44,441 --> 00:46:46,641
Speaker 1: In some ways, she was always a mum.

1000
00:46:46,681 --> 00:46:48,361
Speaker 4: She'd always show up to be a mum in one

1001
00:46:48,441 --> 00:46:51,921
Speaker 4: hundred percent capacity, no matter what dentriman it was to her.

1002
00:46:52,201 --> 00:46:55,041
Speaker 4: And that as now I'm a mom myself, I know

1003
00:46:55,121 --> 00:46:57,921
Speaker 4: how hard that is. When I see the things she

1004
00:46:57,961 --> 00:47:01,401
Speaker 4: actually did, having four kids under four under four, I

1005
00:47:01,441 --> 00:47:03,801
Speaker 4: look at my mom, I'm like, you're a superhero.

1006
00:47:03,441 --> 00:47:05,761
Speaker 1: Woman, Like how did you and do that?

1007
00:47:05,961 --> 00:47:08,041
Speaker 4: Like you know, for me now that I've kind of

1008
00:47:08,081 --> 00:47:10,201
Speaker 4: come into this space of my own space of being

1009
00:47:10,201 --> 00:47:12,761
Speaker 4: a mum, I look at the things she achieved, going

1010
00:47:12,801 --> 00:47:16,921
Speaker 4: back to work, when having five kids, you know, showing

1011
00:47:17,001 --> 00:47:19,081
Speaker 4: up every single day for all the multiple things that

1012
00:47:19,081 --> 00:47:19,761
Speaker 4: we'd be doing.

1013
00:47:20,561 --> 00:47:21,921
Speaker 1: She was just this amazing human.

1014
00:47:22,001 --> 00:47:23,641
Speaker 4: And I think that, as you said, I'm kind of

1015
00:47:23,641 --> 00:47:26,241
Speaker 4: growing into this space now of sort of taking charge

1016
00:47:26,281 --> 00:47:30,521
Speaker 4: of the narrative per se. It's because I've finally grown

1017
00:47:30,561 --> 00:47:34,121
Speaker 4: and realized how amazing she was and how much I

1018
00:47:34,161 --> 00:47:37,361
Speaker 4: wish I could do more for her. And I know

1019
00:47:37,441 --> 00:47:39,761
Speaker 4: that my voice has so much power and my words

1020
00:47:39,801 --> 00:47:42,161
Speaker 4: have so much power that when I'm saying something I'm

1021
00:47:42,201 --> 00:47:45,881
Speaker 4: hoping someone out there that knows something will come forward

1022
00:47:45,881 --> 00:47:49,561
Speaker 4: because they're hearing what I'm saying and knowing that she's

1023
00:47:49,641 --> 00:47:51,801
Speaker 4: so missed and so loved and we just want to

1024
00:47:51,841 --> 00:47:55,721
Speaker 4: know what happened to her, and we want to no

1025
00:47:55,721 --> 00:47:59,321
Speaker 4: matter how small, that piece of information that might be

1026
00:47:59,361 --> 00:48:01,241
Speaker 4: that last little piece of the puzzle that puts everything

1027
00:48:01,241 --> 00:48:04,841
Speaker 4: else into context. So you know, police are always sort

1028
00:48:04,841 --> 00:48:07,001
Speaker 4: of say, big or small, please come forward.

1029
00:48:07,721 --> 00:48:10,321
Speaker 1: It's not just words, they are actual truths. They are

1030
00:48:10,841 --> 00:48:12,481
Speaker 1: so important, so important.

1031
00:48:12,521 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 2: I can't stress it enough either. I always finish our

1032
00:48:16,481 --> 00:48:22,721
Speaker 2: podcast by asking families why they're missing person matters. Can

1033
00:48:22,761 --> 00:48:24,401
Speaker 2: you share with us why Lauren matters?

1034
00:48:25,801 --> 00:48:26,961
Speaker 1: Why Lauren matters?

1035
00:48:27,521 --> 00:48:29,561
Speaker 4: As I've sort of said before in this podcast, Lauren

1036
00:48:29,641 --> 00:48:33,321
Speaker 4: is a daughter, Lauren is a mum, Lauren is a

1037
00:48:33,361 --> 00:48:38,841
Speaker 4: best friend. Lauren matters because she mattered to so many people,

1038
00:48:39,001 --> 00:48:43,801
Speaker 4: and she's just this amazing human being that deserves an

1039
00:48:43,841 --> 00:48:50,521
Speaker 4: answer what happened to her and deserves justice for finding

1040
00:48:50,521 --> 00:48:52,921
Speaker 4: out what actually happened to her. And despite everything that's

1041
00:48:52,921 --> 00:48:55,321
Speaker 4: sort of been said by police, and despite all the

1042
00:48:55,361 --> 00:48:58,121
Speaker 4: assumptions and the stigma and everything else that's kind of

1043
00:48:58,121 --> 00:49:01,881
Speaker 4: gone on before this point, we need to know someone

1044
00:49:01,921 --> 00:49:05,081
Speaker 4: out there must know something. This has gone on for

1045
00:49:05,161 --> 00:49:07,481
Speaker 4: so long, for thirteen years, that's too long to wait

1046
00:49:07,481 --> 00:49:10,801
Speaker 4: for answers. Lauren's parents are getting older, things are happening.

1047
00:49:10,841 --> 00:49:14,001
Speaker 4: You know, my grandparents, they're desperate for answers. And I

1048
00:49:14,081 --> 00:49:18,361
Speaker 4: just a plea to everyone. Lauren matters, Lauren, everything.

1049
00:49:17,961 --> 00:49:18,921
Speaker 1: Almost impressive matters.

1050
00:49:18,921 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 4: But for me, you know, I just want to give

1051
00:49:21,441 --> 00:49:24,921
Speaker 4: my grandparents closure and give myself some closure, and to

1052
00:49:24,961 --> 00:49:26,921
Speaker 4: really find out what happened to her and bring her

1053
00:49:26,921 --> 00:49:30,081
Speaker 4: home and lay to rest, if that's what that means.

1054
00:49:31,561 --> 00:49:33,321
Speaker 4: But you know, I just thank you so much for

1055
00:49:33,361 --> 00:49:36,361
Speaker 4: this opportunity and giving me this sort of space to

1056
00:49:36,401 --> 00:49:39,281
Speaker 4: control the narrative and to say my piece, because it

1057
00:49:39,321 --> 00:49:41,001
Speaker 4: means so much to family that we can have that

1058
00:49:41,041 --> 00:49:44,801
Speaker 4: opportunity and using this platform and using everything you've been through,

1059
00:49:44,881 --> 00:49:47,921
Speaker 4: like I can't imagine what you must go through. I just,

1060
00:49:48,081 --> 00:49:49,721
Speaker 4: you know, I take my hat off to to use

1061
00:49:49,761 --> 00:49:52,921
Speaker 4: your space so positively because I know every day I

1062
00:49:52,921 --> 00:49:54,801
Speaker 4: could curl up into a ball and I end up

1063
00:49:54,801 --> 00:49:57,721
Speaker 4: in a psych unit. I know that, you know, I

1064
00:49:57,801 --> 00:50:01,241
Speaker 4: feel like I could crumble over and be a mess.

1065
00:50:01,281 --> 00:50:03,401
Speaker 4: But we have to use our strengths, and we have

1066
00:50:03,521 --> 00:50:05,281
Speaker 4: to use what's like, you know, the strength that my

1067
00:50:05,361 --> 00:50:08,561
Speaker 4: mum gave me. I have to use that to try

1068
00:50:08,561 --> 00:50:11,361
Speaker 4: and bring answers because without that, I don't know whether

1069
00:50:11,401 --> 00:50:17,521
Speaker 4: we will get them.

1070
00:50:17,641 --> 00:50:18,361
Speaker 1: Next week.

1071
00:50:18,681 --> 00:50:21,841
Speaker 3: On the missing matter, grown.

1072
00:50:21,641 --> 00:50:27,641
Speaker 5: Up my whole life with three amazing, amazing arts who

1073
00:50:27,761 --> 00:50:32,801
Speaker 5: have always maintained they could never understand why dad has

1074
00:50:32,841 --> 00:50:36,041
Speaker 5: done what he's done because I was the apple of his.

1075
00:50:36,041 --> 00:50:41,361
Speaker 1: Eye and he loved me immensely. I understand that desperation.

1076
00:50:42,001 --> 00:50:44,281
Speaker 1: I definitely understand that desperation.

1077
00:50:45,121 --> 00:50:48,041
Speaker 5: Especially when you feel like you've got no one to

1078
00:50:48,081 --> 00:50:53,401
Speaker 5: turn to or no one understands you. It's not like

1079
00:50:54,161 --> 00:50:57,601
Speaker 5: your parent has passed from an illness, it's not like

1080
00:50:57,961 --> 00:51:02,081
Speaker 5: you've lost a child through an accident. You know, there's

1081
00:51:02,201 --> 00:51:05,721
Speaker 5: no there's no necessary network for for us to go

1082
00:51:06,161 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 5: and feel like we as their family matter