WEBVTT - #2045 One Size Doesn't Fit All - Harps & Tiff 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:03.559 I get at Ypter's Craig, Anthony, Hapa, Tiffany and Cook. 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:06.120 It's it's Sunday, it's six thirty three, and I'm going 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:09.560 to be a little honest, a little honest, a little transparent, 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.480 a little vulnerable. This almost didn't happen this podcast. 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:15.440 Sure we were tired, didn't you A little bit after time? 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.840 A little bit a little bit. I fuck it anyway, 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:24.520 and I was, do you know what this out works? Right? 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:28.600 So tomorrow I'm in where I'm interviewing doctor No, you're 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:31.480 you're there as well, doctor Bill. We've got some good 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:36.159 guests lined up this week. But yesterday, you know, when 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:38.760 you we're not doing seven a week every week, but 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:42.159 we're trying at the moment, like few things honest people know. 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:47.800 But anyway, yesterday I spent a good hour and a 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:53.279 half writing some notes and doing a deep dive and 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.680 doing some thinking and doing a bit of research and 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:58.680 prepping for a show, an episode that I want to 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:05.039 do around the brain, right and so not the mind, 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:09.800 the brain, like the organ, the three pound, one point 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:13.240 four kilogram thing that sits in our head, just to 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:17.720 and anyway, I did all this awesome prep. Then I 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.240 went to record it. I started recording it and I 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.200 basically did a big verbal poo about ten minutes in 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:30.080 just and hated myself. I'm like, this sounds shit. And 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:34.080 then and then I twenty minutes later I rolled again. 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:36.000 This time i'd had a coffee. You know how when 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:39.960 I drink milk, I get all like like a cat 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:40.880 with a fucking. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:46.080 Fur ball, right, Yes, so I was doing that, so 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:46.560 I can. 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:52.320 I started that podcast three times and I anyway, So 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:55.200 that's everyone. If you're wondering why there was no podcast 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:59.080 today Sunday, the sixteenth of the eleventh, that is why. 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.000 But anyway, because I didn't. 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.720 Want you to have to deal with my fur balls 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:06.240 or my fucking appreciate that. 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:08.040 I deeply appreciate it. 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:09.840 Thank you well you didn't have to try and edit 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:10.399 them all out. 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:14.120 But anyway, so I did want to chat today about 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:16.360 something that is broadly relevant and something. 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.960 I I'm very aware of. I'm acutely aware of. 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:22.320 I probably didn't understand this when I was younger, when 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.239 I was a young gym instructor, when I was eighteen 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:27.720 years old and I was teaching, and you know, obviously 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.840 with very limited understanding. When you're an eighteen year old 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:33.720 gym instructure. You think you know a bit, you know 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:38.839 fuck all, but you know, but the idea that there 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:42.560 is a best a best something, a best program, a 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:46.359 best diet, a best number of hours of sleep, a 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.280 best way to train your legs, or a best way 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:52.840 to hold on to muscle and lose body fat, or 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:56.440 a best way to have optimal energy, or a best 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.280 way to study, or a best way to research, or 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.360 a best way to grow a business, or a best 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.920 way to get followers on Instagram. There's this very kind 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:09.639 of common belief that we need to find the best 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:16.800 strategy or dose or medicine or protocol or program, and 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:21.640 once we find that then and so it's I guess 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:26.239 the misnoma is that there is a single best way. 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:29.720 And so I wanted to talk about firstly, let me 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.480 read something, and then we're going to do a deep 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:35.800 dive into this idea of an equals one doing our 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:40.080 own research, figuring out what works for us in the 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:42.160 middle of all of the advice and all of the 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:43.880 wisdom and all of the science and all of the 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:48.920 research which we should pay attention to. But you know, 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:52.240 hold that kind of loosely with the knowledge that what 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.960 will be optimal for TIF in terms of diet or 0:03:55.040 --> 0:04:01.320 exercise or sleep or recovery or career or relationship type 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.400 or whatever. I mean we were talking before we went 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.280 live about most people would not like my life or 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:10.840 yours because there's a lot of unpredictability and a lot 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:15.240 of uncertainty and a lot of unknowns. Most people don't 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.640 like that, Like I don't know how much money I'll 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:20.760 make week to week because I don't have a set 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:24.800 wage and it changes all the time. And honestly, some 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:28.960 weeks I make no money, like literally zero dollars depending 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:33.400 on what's happening, and other weeks I make not bad money, 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:36.480 and so on and so on. So you know, even 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.960 in terms of the way that my life works with 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:45.640 work with income, with work life balance, with working from home, 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.000 with not knowing week to week or month to month 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:52.440 what my income might look like, what gigs I'll get, 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:55.680 what bookings I'll get, what sponsors I'll get for this show, 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:57.599 What sponsors you'll get for your show? 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:01.520 What clients going to turn up for you or not 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:03.560 turn up for you? Day to day, week to week. 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:05.760 There's a lot of unknown and a lot of variability 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:09.120 around that. And for some people that's good because it's exciting, 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.680 it's not boring, it's not too repetitious. But for other people, 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.839 it's the opposite of what they want. So here's what 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:17.400 I wrote the other day. 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:21.320 The words that will comfort one person will make another 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:25.880 person angry. The idea that makes total sense to one 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:30.640 individual will make zero sense to another. The medicine that 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:34.760 works amazingly for patient A will cause a life threatening 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:38.799 reaction for patient B, even though they have the same condition. 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:43.120 The barbell squat that's amazing for the Jim bro is 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:46.159 the worst exercise in the world for his training partner. 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:50.240 The supplement that improves cognitive function and energy for one 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:54.520 UNI student gives her study partner a gut ache and 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:58.480 nothing else. The golden retriever that has a calming effect 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:03.919 on one person create an anxiety response in another. The 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:10.080 husband's hilarious TV show is the wife's complete garbage. The 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:13.080 gym that is my natural habitat will be someone else's 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:18.200 terrifying environment. The religion that is one person's spiritual home 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.560 is someone else's dogmatic mind cult. 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:24.320 And I just. 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:27.279 Think that that like keeping that stuff in mind tif 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.039 knowing that you know the thing that's going to work 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.200 for you optimally for somebody else is not. And so 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.080 the idea that we can get advice from people that 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.640 don't know us as well as we know us, which 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.120 is nobody knows us as well as we know us, 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:47.719 or that somebody that hardly knows you, even if they're 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:52.559 well qualified and experienced. We need to keep in mind 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.760 that all experts. I'm not an expert, You're not an expert. 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.479 We're just people on a podcast. But some people would 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:05.240 consider experts. But when I talk to people, even if 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:08.880 I'm talking about exercise, even if I'm talking about exercise programming, 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:14.120 which I am well qualified in and I've done decades 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:17.480 of work in that space and train thousands of humans. 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:22.840 Even when I give someone specific advice, Even when I 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.640 write a program for someone, even when I give them 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:30.200 a feedback or input, it's still educated guessing. I don't 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:33.760 know exactly what the outcome will be. So when old 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:39.119 mate or missus old mate comes to me and they say, 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:43.680 can you give me some advice on whatever? How do 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.920 I get a better ars and legs or whatever, which 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:50.120 I've been asked fifteen thousand times, I'll go try this, 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:52.560 this and this, do more of that, do less of that, 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:54.559 make you do full make sure you do full range 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.600 with that. Maybe pause at the bottom a little bit. 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.880 You know, this is how your stand should be activated. 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:05.840 TVA transversus of dominance. Make sure this, make sure that 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:09.360 head up, neutral spine. Well, I give them all this advice, 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:11.760 but I still don't know one whether or not they're 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:13.480 going to do it, and to what the actual outcome 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:18.400 will be, because everybody's mind, and everybody's physiology and everybody's 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:22.000 emotional system interacts differently to the person next to them, 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:28.880 even if it's the same stimulus. So yeah, what about 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.200 what about for you? What have you figured out that 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:35.640 works for you individually that probably would not work for 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.800 other people or you might not recommend to others. 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:43.200 Got heaps of stuff, cookies, how many cookies? I ate? 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:47.720 But I was talking about this with clients this week, 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:52.520 just about that idea of what we know, but like 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:55.160 it shifts and changes, Like what works for me now 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:59.839 is vastly different to what I did and what worked 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.319 for me for so many years and what I loved 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:05.720 and how I did, especially in terms of movement and training. 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:09.520 And the trouble is we are slow to catch on 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:12.760 we hold things too tightly. I held on so tightly 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:16.079 to what was good for me and why. And the 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:22.839 trouble is, there's there's causation, correlation and context, and the 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:26.760 thing that we are looking at is a percent of 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:30.680 the entire equation of what is happening in our bodies 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:33.440 and minds and our lives that is going into the 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.840 results that we're getting. But we put blinkers on, you know, 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.880 we go, Oh, I want my body to change, So 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:42.840 I'm going to go for two days a week into 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.000 a gym and do sixty minutes of training. Tell me 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:49.360 what to do. You've got every other hour of every 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.400 other day. You've got things you put in your mouth, 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.760 You've got things that peak your cortersol, and you and 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.840 your entire systems doing shit all of that other time. 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.440 But we look at but those two things that I'm 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:02.839 doing that someone told me to do, that's going to 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:03.960 make change my body? 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:09.120 Yes, yes, And even. 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:12.319 When we're educated, we just don't have the capacity as 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:16.960 humans to be aware of all of the things that 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:19.240 even when we're self aware, all of the things that 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:22.800 are influencing our choices, our behaviors, our stress systems. We 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.760 never know what stress we're under. When we're under the stress, 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:29.240 I always know as I'm coming out of a stress, 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:32.760 how stressed I've been. I'm like, can spend two years 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.520 going you know, it's been such an amazing time, and 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:38.959 then I can come out from a situation look back 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:42.920 and go, oh, oh, I've been processing and really, you know, 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:46.520 I look at the last five years and go, oh, 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.959 I've processed a lot of stuff in the last five years. 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:51.840 I've kind of been doing a thing that I didn't 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:52.560 think I was doing. 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:57.440 Yeah. Yeah, And you're really on the money when you 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:00.800 say that. You know, what were word for you at 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:03.720 one stage doesn't work for you now, and what you're 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:07.800 doing now probably wouldn't have worked for you ten years ago. 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.439 Like I think about the fact you said before we 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.720 started recording, you said, have you finished your steps for 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.560 the day, because it's quarter to seven and I've got 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.800 to get my ten thousand plus steps in right, And 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:22.160 I went, ah, I'm money at nine and a half and. 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.280 Blah blah blah. If you had have said to. 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:27.640 Me when I was twenty five, you're going to be 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:32.800 walking give or take ten kilometers a day, and I 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.360 would have been ashamed of myself because I would have 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:41.080 thought that as being pathetic, like, oh, you're walking, Oh 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:44.760 you fucking weapon, you're walking. I would have been embarrassed 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:48.760 at myself, right, but because I'm not running, I'm not, 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.439 you know, it's like fuck walking. 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.320 Oh run. Not only will I run, I will. 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.480 Run in soft sand or upp a fucking hill or upstairs, 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:58.959 and I'll probably be wearing a weight vest. 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:03.200 Fuck your walk, but right but there, hell, it's like 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:05.199 it's not even well. 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.240 The physiology is good, I mean moving, you know, moving 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:09.160 my body. 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:11.120 That much each day is good. 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:15.920 But for me, the psychological and emotional benefits are probably 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.880 outweigh the physiological ones. For me, it just does something 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.840 great to my brain, It does something great to my 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:23.760 nervous system. 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.960 It just puts me in a good mood. I don't know. 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:30.920 Like when I started doing it, my only motivation was 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:34.319 just the awareness that, oh fuck, I'm walking four thousand 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:37.400 steps a day. This is pathetic on average, because my 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:41.840 phone told me I was a fat fuck right, And 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.360 then I realized, well, shit, I better just and I 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:47.120 started it just because of that because I didn't want to. 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.240 I want I need it to move more, you know. 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.360 But now I do this thing, which is a hardwird 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:56.640 like I've not missed a day in over a year, 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.920 and there's nothing in me that I was ah, fuck, 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:01.840 I got to go and walk. 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.280 Oh, like there's no you know. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:05.960 Sometimes I'll get to the end of the day because 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:07.920 I've had a really busy day and I go, fuck, it's. 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.200 Nine o'clock and I've still got to do four thousand steps. 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:13.000 And so every now and then there's a bit of like, yeah, 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:14.120 all right, well I'll go out. 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.280 And There's been more than ten nights where I've walked 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:19.520 in the rain because that's my only option. I go, 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.960 fuck it, I'm water proof. I'll get wet, I'll come home, 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.000 I'll take my wet shit off, I'll have a shower 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.800 and I'll put on dry shit. Like this is not 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.839 really a challenge, you know, ah, but it's raining. Yeah, 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.880 I'm wa to proof, you know, it's like fucking it's okay. 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:38.080 But yeah, the stuff that I do now, the stuff 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:41.280 that you know, when I was young, I really for 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:44.320 a while liked working for someone, and then I kind 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.240 of got to the point where I went, now, I 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.760 don't like working for someone, and you know, like I 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:53.679 get up every day and there's a lot of uncertainty 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.360 in that I don't know what will happen today exactly. 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.760 I don't know which work I'm going to do exactly. 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:03.960 I don't know who's going to call. I don't know 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:06.200 what emails I'm going to get. I don't know where. 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.040 You know with certainty where my energy and focus will 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.200 be all day, because my days are quite fluid. They're 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.880 somewhat structured, but they're probably more fluid than I know 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:19.160 what I need to get done over the course. It's 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.640 a little bit like my presentations where I talk for 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.720 three hours with no structure. I'm going to get through 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:27.280 all the bits I want to get through, but I'm 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:29.920 not sure where I'll start or where I'll finish and 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.240 what the middle bit will be. But we'll get it 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.160 all covered, and it's going to be more organic and intuitive, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:36.400 and it's going to be more in. 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:40.880 A state of flow than a state of precision planning. Right. 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:45.240 But that really works for my personality, That really works 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:48.800 for my energy, that really works for my nervous system 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.880 and my emotional system, and it really works for me 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.560 in terms of being able to be the best version 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.480 of me when I go and do whatever it is 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:03.000 that I do. I am absolutely positive that if I 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:07.600 had to work in a metaphoric box every day where 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:09.480 I had to kind of do a version of the 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:14.080 same thing, same hours, same place, same time for lunch, 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:19.640 same time, getting there, same time, leaving, same fucking oh 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:24.640 oh me personally. And I know for some people that's 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:28.160 actually heaven because they love the predictability and the familiarity 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:30.800 and they just happen to work in a place they like, 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:32.680 in a culture they like, with people they like. 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:33.560 So I get that. 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.800 So I'm not saying this is unequivocally good or bad. 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:41.000 I'm just saying Craig Harper would not work well in 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:45.120 that environment, you know. So it's knowing, it's knowing how 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:49.400 you work, rather than going to some career counselor what 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:52.200 do you think I should do? It's like they don't 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.560 fucking know because they don't know you like, where are 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:57.960 you happy? Where do you find joy? What are you 0:15:58.080 --> 0:15:58.920 passionate about? 0:15:59.480 --> 0:15:59.720 You know? 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:01.840 I guess if you get a good counselor, they might 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:06.280 ask you those questions. So apologies to create counselors. But yeah, 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.120 it's just trying to figure it out as you go. 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:10.960 Yeah, I was talking about this with my client today. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:15.080 He's got two sons twelve and fourteen or eleven and fourteen, 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.040 and I was talking about school and which ones are 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.240 academic and what they're doing and what they want to be, 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.360 and I was like, it is absurd to me that 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:26.360 kids that age would like I still don't. I'm still 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.920 making it up, and I because of what I do. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.120 I just when people talk about their options or jobs, 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:34.960 I'm like, just why would you not just figure out 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:38.600 what you're like and make it in your like, just 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.920 do a business, just make do something that revolves around that. 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:47.320 And I could not fathom the idea of getting up 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:52.400 and giving someone eight hours straight of my time and 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.680 then coming home and like, I couldn't do it. So 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:59.960 not having certainty, not having sick pay, not having certain 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.040 about whether or not all my clients are going to 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:03.560 leave tomorrow or I'm. 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:05.480 Going to lose contra holiday pay. 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:09.800 Yeah, holiday pay, all of that stuff. Like I'm like, 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.280 I'll wear it because I because now this matters more. 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:16.800 But it's taken me forty two years to land here 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:18.000 of knowing that much. 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:21.240 Yeah, But I think that comes down to your values. 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:25.840 One of your values is freedom, and another one is flexibility. 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:30.399 Another one is you know, a capacity to learn and 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:35.200 grow and evolve and in like however you want. You're 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.919 not good with rules, you're not good with. 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:41.240 Another one is security for me, which is that's been 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:43.520 hard for me, so I go, oh, I need security, 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.840 so I've had to build it and that's been a 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.280 long hard thing to continually bump up against. 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.959 Well, that's that's very interesting because not too many people 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:56.879 are you And I was going to say, but conversely, 0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:00.040 a lot of people a lot more about security and 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:05.679 knowing and predictability and familiarity and you know, like for 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:07.520 a lot of people, and I understand this. And by 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:11.400 the way, I don't think. I don't think for one moment, listeners, 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:14.720 that the way that Tiff and I operate is better. 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:17.159 I don't think it's better. I think it's better for 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:23.600 us individually. It wouldn't be a recommendation like if I 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.120 was coaching someone in this space, not that I do 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.639 in this space, but I would go, well, what like 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:30.960 what really matters to you and what are your values? 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.080 And I think if I was let's say, a forty 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.879 year old dude with three kids and a wife, I 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:40.679 would have a very different mindset about this because my 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:44.200 values would be different. My priority is my focus, the 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:49.560 things that worried me would be different, and so I 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:53.240 would probably have a very different perspective. And so that's 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:55.600 the point though, the point, that is the point. The 0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:58.760 point is I'm not that, and that's not good or bad. 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:01.600 But what I am is a sixty yearsh year old 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:05.159 bloke who this is who I am and how I 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.320 am and what works for me is A B and C. 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:11.000 And I think that's that's the point. 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.920 We're not we're not trying to find the single best 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:18.679 job or career path or subject that you should study 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:23.760 at university or breakfast cereal for you, or it's like, 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:27.639 I think the real thing to learn is how we 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:32.040 can learn for ourselves. How can I how can I 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:36.679 be the experimenter and the experimentee, How can I be 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:40.480 the participant and the researcher. How can I figure out, 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:42.879 like what do I need to do more of and 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:45.479 less of? What questions do I need to ask? And 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:49.920 what what things do I need to try? What mindset 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:54.360 do I need to have to kind of figure out 0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:57.760 how to be more productive and more effective and more 0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:02.040 content and I guess produce better results whatever that means 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:05.680 in my world, and I think you know how many 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:09.159 people are living in a groundhog day. That if your 0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:12.080 groundhog day works for you, and if the byproduct of 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.119 your groundhog day, for the most part is that you 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:18.119 are happy, ish, content ish, and not too stressed and 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:22.119 not too overthinking and not too anxious, well then you 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:25.719 probably shouldn't change much. But if you are in an 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:28.719 operating system and a job or a set of habits 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:32.359 and behaviors, or a lifestyle or a relationship which you 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:38.320 associate more pain than pleasure, more tears than joy, more 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:43.000 anxiety than calm, and you're not consciously trying to do 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:48.639 something to change that, then my advice would be that 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:51.760 nobody asked for, is that you start to think about that, 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:57.119 because you don't have to be resigned to a life 0:20:57.119 --> 0:20:58.560 of mediocrity and misery. 0:20:59.320 --> 0:20:59.879 What about this? 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:00.119 So? 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:03.600 How often do you think people as we me too, 0:21:04.119 --> 0:21:08.280 think about or even understand how did I? How did 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:11.320 I become this? And what did why did? Why do 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:15.080 I do this? And with what I do? What brought 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.040 me in? And what keys? What do I love? What 0:21:17.119 --> 0:21:20.320 am I? Why am I even here? But we get 0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:22.760 we get in a job or a career or something 0:21:23.400 --> 0:21:28.120 I made so many realizations around landing in the print industry, 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:31.000 print and design and marketing, and I was in there 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:32.879 for a long time, and it wasn't un till I 0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:35.680 was out of it and into podcasting and started using 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:38.760 my voice and speaking, and that I drew the dots 0:21:38.800 --> 0:21:43.959 between what I loved about the ability to create visual graphics. 0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:47.399 That's that speak when you don't have the voice to 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:50.679 convey what you might like to say about you. So 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:53.359 I made when I made those links, I was like, fuck, 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:57.440 no wonder. I loved that, No wonder. I loved designing 0:21:57.520 --> 0:21:59.960 something that can speak on your behalf because I fel 0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:02.440 like I for a lot of my life, I didn't 0:22:02.560 --> 0:22:04.840 use my voice when I needed to. So I needed 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:08.320 to put in a picture, I needed to use visuals 0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:12.200 to speak. And then I learned about that. I learned 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.840 It took me a long time to learn that with 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:18.080 that safety versus risk? Okay, how much? How do I 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:23.640 create a schedule where I have some routine and some 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.760 security and some return to and some coming you know, 0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:32.520 like some stability, but also lots of variety and change. 0:22:32.560 --> 0:22:34.879 How do I even get that? Because that's hard, Like, 0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:37.760