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Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on Gadigle Land always was, always

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Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey, Jigs, I'm ow and and

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Speaker 1: this is too broad chicks to show that shares life

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Speaker 1: lessons and tips to help make you rich in life.

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Speaker 2: And you might be noticing something a little bit different.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're watching on Spotify, you'll notice that we've

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Speaker 3: got some new digs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah blow up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we've got a new studio that I'm literally obsessed with.

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Speaker 2: Is that going to be your obsession of the week?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it should be, hey, but no, I'm locked in

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Speaker 1: for a different one, spicy. But before we get into

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Speaker 1: our obsessions, we are chatting the burnout epidemic and how

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Speaker 1: to enter your unbothered era because not gonna lie sits fucked.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, be graz See.

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Speaker 3: This time of year is always hectic, and I think

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Speaker 3: it's always prone to burnout. But also with everything that's

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Speaker 3: been happening in the news in the last twelve slash

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Speaker 3: since we were born.

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Speaker 2: It all started in nineteen ninety Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Literally, Yeah, just a lot is going on and I

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Speaker 3: think a lot of chicks will benefit from this episode.

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Speaker 1: It's not just in your head validation. Yeah, we are

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Speaker 1: the validation station rebrand. Yeah, I know, love it.

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Speaker 2: New body name everyone.

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Speaker 1: We need to like start using that when we're like

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Speaker 1: going shopping and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Validation station, validation station. We just you deserve it. Next up,

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Speaker 2: validation station.

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Speaker 1: If Princess wants it, Princess gets it. Me who's like

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Speaker 1: literally never denied myself anything?

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Speaker 3: I know, I think that all the time, Like I

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Speaker 3: deserve this. Yeah, literally, like one have you ever said

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Speaker 3: no to yourself?

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Speaker 2: Dumb as? It's fine, We're very mature, adult human being.

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Speaker 2: We're just joking.

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Speaker 1: So today we're actually going to break down the burnout

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Speaker 1: epidemic into the three parts that we see as probably

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Speaker 1: the biggest stresses in our audience, in our lives, and

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Speaker 1: how to kind of combat those to enter a more

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Speaker 1: balanced way of thinking era life everything Okay, the unbothered era.

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Speaker 1: We're going to be talking the news cycle burnout, the

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Speaker 1: nice girl exhaustion burnout, and the hustle aka success burnout.

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Speaker 2: I'm very excited me too. Some of this research did

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Speaker 2: feel a little bit personal. I would say maybe all

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Speaker 2: of it. I was so lowie voice. I'm just reading

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Speaker 2: an article. I'm like, why are you yelling?

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Speaker 3: Literally, my obsession of the week is something that I

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Speaker 3: saw on the Birdie Instagram and it's a post that

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Speaker 3: they went live with this week, and it was called

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Speaker 3: the girls are also tucking their Janes.

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Speaker 2: Here we go, She's off everyone. Yeah, I don't think I've.

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Speaker 1: Seen you smile this much ever. About like a fashion yeah,

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Speaker 1: so hold on for context.

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Speaker 2: Everyone.

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Speaker 1: Whenever Sally's asked about her like icon't her fashion inspiration,

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Speaker 1: her hair inspiration, anything to do with her aesthetic. Her

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Speaker 1: response from birth of exiting the womb till now at

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Speaker 1: sixty eight years of age was the Olsen Twins.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true.

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Speaker 3: So anytime I see them referenced in the zeitgeist, it

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Speaker 3: just makes me so happy because obviously they're the faces behind.

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Speaker 2: The row, but we don't really see them that much.

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Speaker 3: We don't really see them ever, like out and about,

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Speaker 3: so when I do see them reference to an article

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Speaker 3: about them, I'm automatically excited. But I thought this was

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Speaker 3: really interesting because the Olsen tuck essentially refers to tucking

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Speaker 3: your pants or jeans into boots. Oh yeah, and that's

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Speaker 3: a trend that apparently is going to be rolling out

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Speaker 3: in fall and winter in the States, which I actually

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Speaker 3: am really into because I feel like we should embrace

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Speaker 3: more trends that are about styling rather than purchasing. I

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Speaker 3: agree because when I was looking at some of the references,

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Speaker 3: because we've seen obviously the Olsen twins were doing it,

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Speaker 3: and then Zendaya has been seen doing it as well.

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Speaker 1: Em Redakowski also had like a viral Pinterest pick of tucking.

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Speaker 2: Her jeans into cowboy boots.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and then of course some of the other like

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Speaker 3: fashion it girlies just across the internet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Also shout out to Princess Diana in the nineties. She

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Speaker 3: had like those iconic fits with the jeans and the

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Speaker 3: boots as well, So gotta pay respect to the og

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Speaker 3: but my wife's name.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But when I was looking at some of those images,

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Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, I've got so many boots and

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Speaker 3: jeans and pants that I could recreate this look if

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Speaker 3: I want to.

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Speaker 2: And I think maybe that's the next frontier.

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Speaker 3: That's what we should be embracing because we love mixing

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Speaker 3: things up, we love something that's.

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Speaker 2: New and sparkly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're all just girls, but I'm really excited to

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Speaker 3: perhaps look into more ways that we can do that.

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Speaker 2: But with restyling rather, I think that's the same work.

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Speaker 1: That's good homework to look into some trends that like

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Speaker 1: align with you or just styling ways that don't mean

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Speaker 1: that you're spending more money. Yeah, like that mean you're

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Speaker 1: falling back in love with your wardrobe and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: actually encourage you to spend any money exactly. Have this

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Speaker 1: idea for a series that I want to do, and

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Speaker 1: it's called Nothing to Wear, and it's it's now that

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Speaker 1: I've said it, I have to do it accountability. I

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Speaker 1: know it's called nothing to Wear and it's basically pulling

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Speaker 1: in styling trends or product trends that you very likely

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Speaker 1: already own, and so like one of them that I

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Speaker 1: want to do. Spoiler alert, everyone still has to like it.

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Speaker 1: By the way, Yeah, surprise when I post it is

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Speaker 1: that like thongs are up two hundred and thirty three percent.

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Speaker 1: That's flip flops for the Americans, and you very likely

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Speaker 1: already own that. But it kind of helps you fall

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Speaker 1: back in love with your wardrobe and be like, Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to buy a new thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dig bottom of it, covered bucks, I'll.

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Speaker 4: Write now, I want to preface this, but we're going

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Speaker 4: to be breaking down the three different parts of the

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Speaker 4: burnout epidemic.

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Speaker 1: However, we are always going to end these segments with

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Speaker 1: a positive, with a way that you can get out

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Speaker 1: of it, with a way that you can put strategies

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Speaker 1: in place to help heal the burnout you're currently feeling,

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Speaker 1: or to help avoid it and bring balance back into

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Speaker 1: your life.

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Speaker 3: Basically, we're going to end each segment with a little

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Speaker 3: glimmer of hope.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, a very big glimmer of hope.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, big ball of hope.

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Speaker 1: Big balls of hope, big balls all right.

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Speaker 2: Number one, and probably the most.

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Speaker 1: Prevalent in what I'm feeling at the moment is new

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Speaker 1: cycle burnout. Yeah, so new cycle burnout is this stressor

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Speaker 1: of constant exposure to news and especially crisis, conflict, disaster, politics,

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Speaker 1: climate pandemics, social umbrest.

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Speaker 2: The list goes on. I feel sick, I know, right.

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Speaker 4: And the reason why everyone is feeling this really severe

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Speaker 4: news cycle burnout is because one there's a lot going on,

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Speaker 4: but two, social media algorithms push urgency, outrage, and fear

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Speaker 4: like those are prioritized, and this kind of burnout is

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Speaker 4: about being emotionally saturated.

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Speaker 1: Every scroll triggers tension, guilt, shock, and overall. I think

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Speaker 1: especially what I've felt is helplessness over time. I think

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Speaker 1: what's happening is it's becoming quite numbing, quite negative, and

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Speaker 1: anxiety inducing and also causing like this withdrawal, this want

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Speaker 1: to be like, I don't want to you almost want

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Speaker 1: to bury your head in the same because that feels

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Speaker 1: like the easier solution. Yeah, And many mental health writers

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Speaker 1: note that when your brain is overloaded with negative stimulus,

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Speaker 1: the default is to shut off defensively and to create

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Speaker 1: and carry this low hum of stress all the time.

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Speaker 2: So the reason why I want to share that as

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Speaker 2: well is to be like, it's not you, it's them.

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Speaker 2: We're breaking up.

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Speaker 1: It's prevalent all over, but as well, I pulled in

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Speaker 1: some Australian statistics. According to a Digital News report Australia

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, social media overtook online news as a

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Speaker 1: primary source of news, so twenty six percent get their

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Speaker 1: news via social media and twenty three percent via news websites.

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Speaker 2: Unsurprising, what's happened as well?

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Speaker 1: You look at social media feeds and things show up

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Speaker 1: in your feed, like look TikTok is for you page.

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Speaker 2: You don't follow these pages, but it still shows up

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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and as well with Instagram like posts and reels

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Speaker 1: show up from recommended things, So it doesn't even matter

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Speaker 1: if you try to curate through a feed of following

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Speaker 1: people that aligne or you unfollow.

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Speaker 2: Because you need a break from the new cycle. The

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Speaker 2: new cycles.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, literally special range of skills and social range of

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Speaker 1: skills skills for.

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Speaker 2: Many people like you.

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Speaker 1: The same report found news avoidance is also extremely high,

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Speaker 1: with sixty nine percent of Australians avoiding news at least

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Speaker 1: some of the time. And also misinformation is a big concern,

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Speaker 1: with nearly three and four Australians worried about false or

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Speaker 1: misleading content online.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which I do also think is very fair. And

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Speaker 3: I think another reason why we're feeling like burnout from

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Speaker 3: the new cycle is because not only are we we

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Speaker 3: receiving the news and analysis of things that are happening

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Speaker 3: in the news from magazines and newspapers and traditional media

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Speaker 3: sources even online, we're also receiving them from content creators

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Speaker 3: who are also covering the headlines.

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Speaker 2: So we're just like saturated constantly.

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Speaker 3: And I think that this is can be a good

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Speaker 3: thing because sometimes it means that we will get exposure

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Speaker 3: to things that maybe the traditional media wouldn't and you

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Speaker 3: get a perspective that the traditional media wouldn't give you.

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Speaker 3: But also it does open you up to that burnout,

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Speaker 3: but also potential misinformation in some cases as well.

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Speaker 1: So I also want to keep the first statistic in mind.

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Speaker 1: And there was a very interesting post from pretty Little

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Speaker 1: Marketer that basically said everyone's scrolling and no one is

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Speaker 1: engaging in social media. They just scroll through new cycle burnout.

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Speaker 1: Facebook interactions are down eighty percent. Yeah, TikTok brand engagement

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Speaker 1: halved from five point ninety six percent to two point

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Speaker 1: sixty three percent. Instagram is fighting for attention with zero

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Speaker 1: point four to three percent average engagement rate. And she

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Speaker 1: also states that we're entering the age of the lurker,

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Speaker 1: So the audience is there, but we're just over consuming

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Speaker 1: news and content and trends and we're getting burnt out.

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Speaker 3: I think a lot of people and I would love

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Speaker 3: to see a stat around this, around the users and

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Speaker 3: how people use the platform. But I would probably guess

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Speaker 3: that the majority of people who have a TikTok don't

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Speaker 3: create or post anything, They just consume it.

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Speaker 1: You said, do you want to stay mom my goddess,

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Speaker 1: feed me, feed me, bring your plate, your life and

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Speaker 1: fork and eat your supper. So sixty seven percent of

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Speaker 1: TikTok users never post. Yeah, ninety two percent of TikTok

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Speaker 1: interactions are passive views ninety two ninety two.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And Instagram story completion rates are over comment rates, right,

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Speaker 1: So it leads us to this situation and context of

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Speaker 1: everything is quite cooked. Like the news cycle is wild,

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Speaker 1: and it feels like every news story coming out is

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Speaker 1: one that is like fearmongering and overwhelming and anxiety inducing

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Speaker 1: and no wonder why people feel burnt out from it.

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Speaker 1: But then also because a lot of the news at

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Speaker 1: the moment is incredibly wild, it's also I need to

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Speaker 1: know what's going on? Yeah, how do I stay informed

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Speaker 1: with all of this going out whilst also prioritizing my

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Speaker 1: mental health and still having like a sparkly spirit? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Where's the fine line between being informed but also still

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Speaker 3: having hope and joy?

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Speaker 2: Exactly?

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Speaker 1: So, there was a post from Good Good Good Co,

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Speaker 1: who you follow by the way, So is it possible

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Speaker 1: to stay informed without doom scrolling?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: So five tips to avoid burnout from Good Good Good Co.

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Speaker 1: And an interesting point is that this post had over

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Speaker 1: thirty two thousand likes, So again, don't feel bad for

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Speaker 1: feeling burnt out from the news cycle.

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Speaker 2: Everyone does so.

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Speaker 1: Number one, which I think is the most important, is

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Speaker 1: don't get all your news from social media, like it's

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Speaker 1: not designed for processing the news with thought and intention.

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Speaker 1: Platforms reward sensationalism, rage, bait, and misinformation, So instead visit

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Speaker 1: news websites directly, sign up for newsletters, subscribe to print media,

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Speaker 1: listen to a daily podcast like the Daily Oz.

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Speaker 2: For example, love them.

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Speaker 1: Number two, take intentional pauses when you're consuming the news,

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Speaker 1: so you can take a second to ask yourself questions

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Speaker 1: like am I learning new information? Am I feeling moved

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Speaker 1: to take action? Am I getting connected to resources? And

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Speaker 1: am I feeling hopeless or overwhelmed? And a lot of

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Speaker 1: your answers to those questions will probably help you in

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Speaker 1: that situation to be like, do I want to keep

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Speaker 1: consuming this?

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Speaker 2: Is this feeling me? Or do I want to consume

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Speaker 2: something else?

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Speaker 1: Number three is staying informed also means consuming good news.

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Speaker 2: I think this is my favorite.

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Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, at the moment, it definitely feels like every

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Speaker 1: headline is so negative and some impending doom you're like,

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Speaker 1: and it's important to have balance and to seek out

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Speaker 1: stories of progress and good.

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Speaker 2: Number four, talk to people, like.

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Speaker 1: Literally talk to people about the news, and I think

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Speaker 1: there is so much comfort in that because problems shared

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Speaker 1: are problems halved. Like knowing that someone else is also

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Speaker 1: nervous about certain things and conscious of this is kind

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Speaker 1: of going to give you a sense of community and

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Speaker 1: support within that. And then number five is that you're

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Speaker 1: allowed to take a break from the news, but do

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Speaker 1: try not to check out entirely, like we were kind

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Speaker 1: of saying before. Having offline time is going to allow

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Speaker 1: you to take the news.

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Speaker 2: In a more impactful way.

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Speaker 1: And I showed Sow this video earlier this week, and

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Speaker 1: it was from this creator on TikTok, who is so funny.

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Speaker 1: I love her, and she made this post. I'll link

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Speaker 1: it in the show notes. She does like a lot

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Speaker 1: of comedy skits and blah blah blah, but she's obviously

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Speaker 1: been commenting on the political climate at the moment, and

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Speaker 1: her response was this video of.

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Speaker 5: Being like, Oh, don't get political, don't get political, blah

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Speaker 5: blah blah blah blah, to which she said, don't ask

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Speaker 5: me to tap dance on a stage that's on fire

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Speaker 5: and not expect me to say it's getting warm.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we're in a situation now where where

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Speaker 1: you can't have a statement on it and can't feel

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Speaker 1: a certain way on it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well we've said this before and like quoted this before,

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Speaker 3: that not caring about politics is a privilege, and.

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Speaker 2: Like life is political, world is political.

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Speaker 1: You might not care about politics, but politics cares about you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so do that what you will.

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Speaker 1: However, I also wanted to end this segment there's some

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Speaker 1: good news stories that happen this week to balance out

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Speaker 1: the bad, because it's not just you and everything does

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Speaker 1: feel fucked. Brook McIntosh became the youngest and fastest woman

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Speaker 1: to run around Australia and raised over two hundred thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars for mental health.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: The critically endangered and rare gray nurse shark numbers are

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Speaker 1: increasing on the East Coast to around fifteen hundred day.

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Speaker 1: The United Nations confirmed the ozone layer is on track

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Speaker 1: to make a full recovery by mid century. Huntington's disease,

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Speaker 1: known as a fatal genetic illness with no cure, successfully

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Speaker 1: has been treated in first major breakthrough in Sweden, they're

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Speaker 1: implementing a nationwide mobile phone band in schools to improve

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Speaker 1: security and study conditions. And the next one, which I

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Speaker 1: think will be your favorite, is in Uganda. On Monday,

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Speaker 1: they named seventeen rhino calves in a special ceremony as

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Speaker 1: part of efforts to revive a species once extinct in

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Speaker 1: the country.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is my favorite. All of those

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Speaker 2: are great though.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then also some creators to follow that majority

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Speaker 1: of these have substacks. You can go to their websites

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Speaker 1: or you can follow them just to kind of rebalance

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Speaker 1: your feeds and to stay informed. Is one shit you

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Speaker 1: should care about. Obvious they have a subsect. I highly

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Speaker 1: recommend number two, Missing Perspectives. They have some really amazing

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Speaker 1: content and the way that they break down what's going

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Speaker 1: on and also provide you with a new way to

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Speaker 1: look at things from missing perspectives is incredible.

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Speaker 2: We're All Kind by Millie Rose Banister.

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Speaker 1: She is literally one of my favorite people, and it's

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Speaker 1: a very positive and safe space on the Internet. Cheek

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Speaker 1: Media speaks for itself, run by Hannah Ferguson. It's one

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Speaker 1: of probably the strongest platforms for young women wanting to

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Speaker 1: stay informed and last, but not least, good good good

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Speaker 1: code for a source of good news that doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: like you're drowning in a puddle of negativity.

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Speaker 2: Let's move on to the hustle aka success burnout.

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Speaker 3: I think that this is a major cause of burnout

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Speaker 3: for the majority of young people. Yeah, Like even just

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Speaker 3: in our everyday conversations when you catch up with people

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Speaker 3: and you're like, have you been going, I feel like

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Speaker 3: the most common response is yeah, good, just really busy

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Speaker 3: with work? Yeah it was yeah, yeah. And there's also

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Speaker 3: data to back this. Australians are one of the most

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Speaker 3: burnt out employees in the world. According to the OECD

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Speaker 3: Better Life Index, we rank thirty two out of forty

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Speaker 3: one in terms of work life balance in the world.

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Speaker 2: So we're down the bottom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thirty two out of forty one. Like that's pretty dire.

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Speaker 3: Also a twenty twenty it's.

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Speaker 1: Number one for not having What country doesn't have burnout?

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Speaker 1: And what's the citizenship process to.

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Speaker 2: These just asking for a friend? Just asking for a friend?

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Speaker 2: We can record the pod remotely, Yeah, no, you're coming

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Speaker 2: with no, that's what I mean.

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Speaker 3: Like, we can still chat to the Aussie chicks, but

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Speaker 3: from abroad from a broad Another twenty twenty four study

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Speaker 3: from Leading Mentally Healthy Workplaces Survey report revealed that forty

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Speaker 3: six percent of employees reported that they were experiencing burnout

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Speaker 3: that year. This was up from forty four percent in

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty two, and according to that same report, there

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Speaker 3: were higher rates of burnout amongst respondents.

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Speaker 2: Who reported work as their stressor.

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Speaker 3: And the interesting thing is that while we may feel

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Speaker 3: like dedicating the majority of our time and energy to

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Speaker 3: our work is a good thing for us in our career,

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Speaker 3: it actually has the reverse effect in the long term,

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Speaker 3: and workplace burnout can really impair how you perform at work.

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Speaker 3: It can impact your short term memory, your attention, and

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Speaker 3: other cognitive processes that you actually need to do your

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Speaker 3: day to day work. So you think by doing overtime

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Speaker 3: and staying late and not taking your lunch break and

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Speaker 3: not using your annual leave, that you're showing up and

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Speaker 3: maybe being like the best employee that you can be,

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Speaker 3: But really this only works. It's not sustainable. Like it

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Speaker 3: probably you know, will make you feel like you're being

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Speaker 3: more productive in the short term, but in the long

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Speaker 3: term it's going to have a really negative impact.

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Speaker 1: One of the biggest signs of burnout is the fact

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Speaker 1: that you can't focus, but you can't stop thinking.

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Speaker 2: It's like, you have all these.

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Speaker 1: Things to do, You've got all this noise running around

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Speaker 1: in your head, but when you go to do any

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Speaker 1: of that, go to check anything off your list, you

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Speaker 1: actually can't do it because you're stuck in this static

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Speaker 1: of frazzled burnout.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't even know where.

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Speaker 1: You can't even be productive, and it's why you procrastinate

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Speaker 1: everything and you're so hired and you try to rest,

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Speaker 1: you can't rest.

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Speaker 2: Like why am I laying in bed all day? But

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Speaker 2: I'm still exhausted. Yeah, that's burnout.

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Speaker 3: You're paralyzed by the burnout, and you feel like you're

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Speaker 3: being lazy and you feel yuilty, and it's just a

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Speaker 3: toxic cycle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's definitely, especially in this new age of social media,

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Speaker 1: there is this thing that I think.

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Speaker 2: Is like the success trap.

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Speaker 1: Of everyone is and as they should be screaming so

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Speaker 1: loud for their success because they're also trying to be successful.

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Speaker 1: That everyone's looking at everyone else's timeline of success rather

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Speaker 1: than looking at theirs and not realizing that your success

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Speaker 1: does not need to look the same as someone else's.

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Speaker 1: Your success could literally be the fact that you read

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Speaker 1: a book this week, not the fact that you have

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Speaker 1: a six figure salary.

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Speaker 3: I saw a TikTok creator who was saying that living

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Speaker 3: below your means really shows you how little you need

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Speaker 3: to feel joy your life, and I think that is

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Speaker 3: a good example of that. Like readjust what your perception

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Speaker 3: of success is. Career can still sit within that, but

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Speaker 3: it shouldn't be the only thing, because you're not going

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Speaker 3: to get long term joy out of that in most cases.

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Speaker 2: When you die.

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Speaker 1: When you die, is anyone going to turn around and

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Speaker 1: say at your funeral, we really miss Alex and she

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Speaker 1: increased our urli by sixty percent.

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Speaker 2: No, they're going to stay good sheep.

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Speaker 1: You know they're going to say she was there for

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Speaker 1: her friends, she had the most crazy laugh you've ever heard,

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Speaker 1: she loved cooking, she loved her smutty fantasy books. And

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Speaker 1: you know, cats like they're going to point out all

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Speaker 1: these things that have actually nothing to do with whether

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Speaker 1: or not you sent that email at nine thirty am.

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Speaker 1: So In one study, sixty percent of people with burnout

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Speaker 1: had an inability to disconnect from work as their main

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Speaker 1: feature of burnout. So there is kind of this traditional

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Speaker 1: idea that burnout is someone that doesn't care they're tired,

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Speaker 1: if they're late to work, they don't show up, blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But it's also a person that is

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Speaker 1: over engaged and can't shut off from work, which is

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Speaker 1: also known as atypical burnout. Burnout can manifest in so

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Speaker 1: many different ways that if you're someone that is literally

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Speaker 1: just can't actually turn off their brain from work, that's

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Speaker 1: also burnout. It's not hustle, it's not drive, it's not

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get that bag sis. Yeah, we love, we

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Speaker 1: love working for our passion. That's fine, that's not what

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Speaker 1: we're saying. But also there's other things in life. There's

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Speaker 1: the ocean and sunrises and having a lovely little south

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Speaker 1: Side cocktail with your best friend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like your relationship. Do you know what's better than

437
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 2: going to work? Sitting in a pub with a friend

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Speaker 2: and going, shall we just split a bottle? Should we

439
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 2: get some chip? Should we get some chips? Should we

440
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 2: get some ali garlic? Ali? Ah?

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00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: And I actually saw Kim Elizabeth James, who we had

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Speaker 3: on the podcast very recently, who creates a lot of

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Speaker 3: content about like career tips and productivity and burnout. And

444
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 3: she had a really good tip as a form of burnout, girly,

445
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 3: if you do struggle to turn your brain off after work.

446
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 2: So she said that if she's brushing her.

447
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,399
Speaker 3: Teeth and a thought pops into her mind about work,

448
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,439
Speaker 3: she quickly sends herself an email and then puts her

449
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 3: phone down.

450
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 2: And that helps release that thought out of her brain.

451
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 3: But then also she doesn't forget it, and it keeps

452
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 3: her accountable because otherwise you'll be like, Okay, yeah, cool,

453
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 3: I'll do that tomorrow.

454
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you tell yourself that, but then you're like,

455
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 2: oh shit, am I going to forget about it?

456
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

457
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 3: And you find yourself like waking up in the middle

458
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 3: of the night being like, don't forget to schedule that email,

459
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 3: don't forget to blah blah.

460
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 2: So I think that's really good.

461
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 3: LL like slack yourself, write it down in your notes, up,

462
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 3: email yourself, whatever that is, but write it down and.

463
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: Let it free.

464
00:24:59,680 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: Ye.

465
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 2: I think it is a good to put it down

466
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 2: and let it free.

467
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 3: And another thing that you can do is defining off hours.

468
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 3: So make it very clear what time you start what

469
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 3: time you finish.

470
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 2: We've mentioned this before.

471
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: There are actual laws in place that your manager can't

472
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 3: contact you outside of workplace hours, and.

473
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 2: That it's very well within your right not to respond.

474
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 3: So make those things clear, like turn your notifications off,

475
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 3: know that you're going to finish at five point thirty

476
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: every day. And also I think filling your midweek with

477
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 3: hobbies and things that you want to do outside of

478
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 3: work is another really good thing that will keep you

479
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 3: accountable and stop you from being like, oh well, I'll

480
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 3: just sit on the couch and watch TV and then

481
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 3: a slight notification comes up and you find yourself replying

482
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 3: to emails.

483
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: And what I was going to add to that as well,

484
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: We spoke about this in an episode previously, and I'll

485
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 1: make sure to relink to the original creator as well

486
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 1: in the show notes again, but to create an excited

487
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: list every week, like at the start of your week,

488
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: right down all the things that you're excited for that

489
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with work, that have nothing to

490
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: do with any meetings or to do or anything. It's

491
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 1: purely the things that you're excited for, like going for

492
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: a morning walk or getting dinner at that tire restaurant.

493
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 1: You've really been wanting to try, or going and seeing

494
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: a new movie or hanging out with your cats, and

495
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: make it big, small, whatever you want.

496
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 2: But it just has nothing to do with work.

497
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 1: And it's a great reminder that life is so short

498
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 1: and success is literally made up.

499
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 2: You can decide if you're successful.

500
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: You could literally say I'm successful because I can afford

501
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: my rent, and that's very successful.

502
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

503
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 3: You know, if you can afford food, rent and to

504
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 3: pay your bills, like you're a lot more well off

505
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 3: than the majority of people in this world, and that's

506
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: something to be really grateful for. I do think also

507
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 3: creating a shutdown ritual at the end of your day

508
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 3: is also a good way to switch off and create

509
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 3: that physical barrier between work and your real life. So

510
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 3: if that is going for a walk or going to

511
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 3: the gym, or making your dinner or listening to a podcast,

512
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 3: or your dance party.

513
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 2: So no, I did that. The other day.

514
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: We put on Now and Never from High School Musical three,

515
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: had a little dance party, worked to train. It was great,

516
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: and then our final burnout to combat and rebalance is

517
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 1: the people pleasing burnout, also known as the rise of

518
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: nice Girl exhaustion. If you're a woman in your twenties,

519
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: thirties or beyond, chances are you've been taught explicitly to

520
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 1: be helpful, a team player, low maintenance, don't be bossy,

521
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: be a good friend, while kindness is a strength. Constantly

522
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: prioritizing everyone else's needs over your own is the fast

523
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 1: track to burnout and exhaustion. And this people pleasing burnout

524
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: is just quietly demental life, sucking the energy out of

525
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: women everywhere. And I think as well, we see this

526
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 1: modernized version with terms like girl's girl doing the circulation.

527
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,679
Speaker 1: And I know people disagree with me on this, and

528
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: that's so fine, But the term girl's girl is just

529
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 1: another way to say be good, Yeah, don't be bad

530
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: to women.

531
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 2: What form of girl's girl is there for men?

532
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

533
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 2: So true.

534
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: And it's more often used as a tool to bring

535
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: another woman down rather than lift them up. Yeah, it's

536
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 1: inherently laced with this undertone of internalized misogyny, like the

537
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: callers coming from inside the house.

538
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, pitting women against you exactly.

539
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: And it's like, be nice, be a girl's girl, helpful,

540
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: don't complain, don't winge, don't be bossy.

541
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 2: That's a bad girl. Yeah, naughty, naughty. It's literally that

542
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 2: speech in the Barbie movie exactly, and it's exhausting.

543
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: And I think as well, people don't realize how much

544
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 1: of your energy is going to be drained from wanting

545
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: to be a nice girl. You would be surprised how

546
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: much of your energy drains away because of other people's

547
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: actions and the expectations that you've built around how you

548
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: wish they were, and all those tiny frustrations and expectations

549
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: add up like death by a thousand cuts on your

550
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: nervous system.

551
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 2: If you're wondering.

552
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: Why you always feel exhausted and overwhelmed and stressed and

553
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: like you never have any time to do things for yourself,

554
00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 1: look at how much energy you're spending thinking about other

555
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: people's emotions and other people's life and the things that

556
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: you can and can't control. A big part of that

557
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: is the power that you hand over to other people's

558
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: opinions and behaviors and things that just don't sit within

559
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: your control, and then by doing so, you turn them

560
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: into ongoing problems in your life. And the truth is

561
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: that other people are the most magical source of joy

562
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: and support and sparkly feelings that just make you feel

563
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: warm and fuzzy inside. As soon as you let others

564
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: be simply who they are, like, watch your battery become

565
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 1: full times ten and a billion.

566
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 3: It's not your job to manage other people exactly, be

567
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 3: there for them and support them, but it shouldn't be

568
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 3: at the detriment to yourself and.

569
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: Your NEPH system.

570
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: And a lot of people that relate to this probably

571
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: have that anxious attachment style as well. You're thereforward planning

572
00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: the actions of someone else and therefore trying to your

573
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: actions accordingly.

574
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you're trying to emotionally regulate somebody else

575
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 3: without emotionally regulating yourself first.

576
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 2: Exactly.

577
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: And Steph who we had on recently, who is an

578
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: expert on attachment styles, her bos is what to do

579
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 1: when a partner's in a bad mood.

580
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 2: But I think this could apply.

581
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: To friends, parents, partners, colleagues. She says, again, this is

582
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: something anxiously attached people a very triggered pie. If a

583
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: partner or friend is being quiet, withdrawn, moody, irritable, it's

584
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: very much a people pleaser tactic to go, what did

585
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: I do?

586
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 2: I've got to fix it.

587
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: I don't like this the best thing you can do

588
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 1: is rather than asking what's wrong a thousand times, is

589
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: to do nothing.

590
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 2: It's to hold your center. It's to carry on.

591
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: With your day as if everything is perfectly fine. Don't

592
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 1: give it more attention, and don't join them in the storm. Yeah,

593
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: you'll often find that the storm passes and it had

594
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 1: nothing to.

595
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: Do with you.

596
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: And there was a really great quote from Mel Robbins

597
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: that I want to tie this up with, and it's

598
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: that people pleasing is about your inability to feel uncomfortable

599
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: normal emotions.

600
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 2: Being uncomfortable is a part of life.

601
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: And as soon as you get comfortable with being uncomfortable,

602
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: you'll find your people pleasing burnout and your nice giral

603
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: exhaustion to completely cease, or at least be a little

604
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: bit less, because you'll stop constantly anticipating everyone's needs and

605
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: you'll just focus on your own.

606
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you won't go into that final flight mode when

607
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: somebody else is in a bad mood.

608
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like Jem from the Psychology of Your Twenties podcast,

609
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: and it's this famous quote that you know, you could

610
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: be the ripest, juiciest, delicious peach in the whole world,

611
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: and there will still be someone who doesn't like peaches.

612
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, fucking that's okay. That's fine. They can eat an apple,

613
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 2: for all. I can make you eat an apple. I'll

614
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 2: go find a juicy apple.

615
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: Well, that is a wrap for our tough love pep

616
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: talk of the week. I'm also taking notes and I

617
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: hope that has helped.

618
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: You, chicks. Thanks for having us in her olds. Chicks,

619
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 2: we love to be here. Bye bye