1
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:24,441
Speaker 1: Appod Shape Production, welcome back to you with an episode

2
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,761
Speaker 1: about my Bad Mom podcast at am I A Bad Mum?

3
00:00:27,881 --> 00:00:29,801
Speaker 2: On Instagram as well, we should put some of our

4
00:00:29,881 --> 00:00:31,201
Speaker 2: stories on our actual feet.

5
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,441
Speaker 3: I was just going to say that, actually, good, you

6
00:00:33,721 --> 00:00:36,080
Speaker 3: were just having a really good which, if you're our

7
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,281
Speaker 3: beautiful community of listeners of his podcast.

8
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,200
Speaker 4: Would have been having a roll as well. I was

9
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,080
Speaker 4: on a roll, wasn't I.

10
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,841
Speaker 2: Yeah, there were some really good ones in there.

11
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:47,281
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was impressive because if I'm having a cackle

12
00:00:47,441 --> 00:00:50,321
Speaker 3: as I'm doing it.

13
00:00:49,721 --> 00:00:51,801
Speaker 4: I know that everyone's going to be having a cackle

14
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:52,120
Speaker 4: with me.

15
00:00:52,561 --> 00:00:56,041
Speaker 3: And then at one stage both of my children are

16
00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:57,280
Speaker 3: on either side of me.

17
00:00:57,961 --> 00:01:00,280
Speaker 4: And I'm on am I a Bad Mom?

18
00:01:00,481 --> 00:01:04,761
Speaker 3: Instaff our algorithm is just fucking funny parents stuff.

19
00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 4: So then I get on a roll.

20
00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:10,721
Speaker 3: And then they're on the other side and then they're laughing.

21
00:01:10,761 --> 00:01:12,681
Speaker 3: They're heads off at some of them and they're like, no,

22
00:01:12,761 --> 00:01:15,601
Speaker 3: it's really like that, and I was like, yeah, I know,

23
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:29,401
Speaker 3: stop laughing at it. Am I a bad mum for

24
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,001
Speaker 3: maybe doing it a little bit too late?

25
00:01:35,081 --> 00:01:35,321
Speaker 4: I know.

26
00:01:35,401 --> 00:01:37,401
Speaker 3: I was like, this one is a good little point

27
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 3: out because I was sitting having a conversation about particular

28
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:46,121
Speaker 3: behaviors of Elsie's not a bad way, but you know,

29
00:01:46,161 --> 00:01:48,881
Speaker 3: like you sit in reflection. When you sit in reflection,

30
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:50,601
Speaker 3: you're sort of like, wow, I think I left that

31
00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:53,281
Speaker 3: bit too late. Yeah, because we're deep in the dive.

32
00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:55,441
Speaker 3: Because we're deep in the dive, I don't know how

33
00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:58,041
Speaker 3: to get out. Not that you need to get out,

34
00:01:58,401 --> 00:02:00,321
Speaker 3: but I need to teach her new ways.

35
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,561
Speaker 4: Does that make sense? Yeah?

36
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:07,121
Speaker 2: Do you know what's just standing out for me? Analogue clocks.

37
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:11,041
Speaker 2: I realized the other day. My girls are sixteen, and

38
00:02:11,121 --> 00:02:12,961
Speaker 2: I said, oh, yeah, I'll pick you up a quarter

39
00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:15,281
Speaker 2: to whatever it was. Yeah, what time's that?

40
00:02:16,041 --> 00:02:16,240
Speaker 4: What?

41
00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:17,121
Speaker 3: Whoa?

42
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,280
Speaker 2: Because they do everything in two forty five to fifty yeah?

43
00:02:22,321 --> 00:02:22,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

44
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,761
Speaker 4: And also they don't weigh watches.

45
00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:26,281
Speaker 3: No, Like, even though yes, I've got an Apple Watch

46
00:02:26,921 --> 00:02:28,960
Speaker 3: and the girls have an Apple watch, I still leave

47
00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:29,321
Speaker 3: it on.

48
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,361
Speaker 4: The fact that they've got to read actual clock.

49
00:02:32,881 --> 00:02:35,361
Speaker 2: Yes, now I've got the actual clock, but it also

50
00:02:35,561 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 2: says two forty one.

51
00:02:37,401 --> 00:02:38,361
Speaker 4: No, mine doesn't.

52
00:02:38,721 --> 00:02:40,561
Speaker 3: So I make sure that they've got that because I

53
00:02:40,601 --> 00:02:42,400
Speaker 3: still want them to be able to read the time.

54
00:02:42,601 --> 00:02:44,041
Speaker 4: I feel like, no matter.

55
00:02:43,841 --> 00:02:47,281
Speaker 3: How far in the dive we go with technology, you

56
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,001
Speaker 3: still need to be able to read the time.

57
00:02:50,281 --> 00:02:53,241
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so many examples of that. Or I'm like,

58
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:54,761
Speaker 2: holy shit.

59
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,201
Speaker 4: That's crazy. But at the same time I get it.

60
00:02:57,721 --> 00:03:00,441
Speaker 2: We had the clocks rach with the different colors and

61
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,481
Speaker 2: you know, pink means two and blue means past. We

62
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,800
Speaker 2: did all that. Yeah, they just haven't done it for

63
00:03:06,881 --> 00:03:07,520
Speaker 2: so many years.

64
00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:09,000
Speaker 4: Yeah I needed to.

65
00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:11,240
Speaker 3: They haven't really changed anything else, So why'd they take

66
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,721
Speaker 3: that little bit out of the curriculum.

67
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:15,361
Speaker 2: I know.

68
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,921
Speaker 3: She's still learning about all the same shit that we

69
00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:23,881
Speaker 3: learn about, but you know, okay, take out the curriculum

70
00:03:24,081 --> 00:03:26,041
Speaker 3: part of learning how to tell the time.

71
00:03:26,161 --> 00:03:31,041
Speaker 2: I can do algebraever I can't.

72
00:03:32,841 --> 00:03:37,001
Speaker 3: So going back to again having a conversation brings up

73
00:03:37,121 --> 00:03:39,121
Speaker 3: you know, like other people they just go, oh, well

74
00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:41,761
Speaker 3: I tried this or I did that. So what I'm

75
00:03:41,761 --> 00:03:45,841
Speaker 3: talking about with Elsie in particular is that she genuinely

76
00:03:46,161 --> 00:03:49,881
Speaker 3: has the confidence. Whatever the highest of confidence is, she's

77
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:53,561
Speaker 3: got it right with it anything, even if she doesn't

78
00:03:53,561 --> 00:03:56,641
Speaker 3: know what she's talking about, she could sell to an

79
00:03:56,761 --> 00:04:01,441
Speaker 3: eskimo right. Also with that comes her little bit of

80
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:05,321
Speaker 3: like she's got sass like every ten year old girl.

81
00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:07,521
Speaker 3: And on top of the sass, of a ten year

82
00:04:07,561 --> 00:04:11,121
Speaker 3: old girl, she's actually quite funny. And then on top

83
00:04:11,161 --> 00:04:14,481
Speaker 3: of her humor, she's actually just like got that element

84
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:15,081
Speaker 3: of like.

85
00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:18,001
Speaker 4: She can be a dick sometimes. So then we just

86
00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:18,921
Speaker 4: put all that together.

87
00:04:19,361 --> 00:04:23,121
Speaker 3: And what I'm getting at is, sometimes if Elsie's with

88
00:04:23,201 --> 00:04:26,281
Speaker 3: you and she is going to have a conversation with

89
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,561
Speaker 3: you that she might have with me, because I understand

90
00:04:29,641 --> 00:04:34,041
Speaker 3: Elsie and I understand her sass and all of it.

91
00:04:34,081 --> 00:04:36,481
Speaker 3: When it comes together, for other people, it might come

92
00:04:36,521 --> 00:04:37,361
Speaker 3: across the route.

93
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,001
Speaker 4: Okay, do you know what I mean? It makes sense. Yeah,

94
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:41,401
Speaker 4: And so.

95
00:04:41,521 --> 00:04:43,761
Speaker 3: I've been really like on her a little bit at

96
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:46,441
Speaker 3: the moment, in particular because she's found this next level

97
00:04:46,481 --> 00:04:50,201
Speaker 3: of confidence to even push the boundaries a little bit more.

98
00:04:50,241 --> 00:04:52,801
Speaker 3: And I was like, Babe, it's all good here in

99
00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:55,200
Speaker 3: our safe space. But just remember, and it's not like

100
00:04:55,241 --> 00:04:57,041
Speaker 3: I'm not talking down to it. I'm just trying to

101
00:04:57,081 --> 00:04:59,761
Speaker 3: like give her like little points. Just remember if you're

102
00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:02,121
Speaker 3: at somebody else's dinner table right now, I said, their

103
00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:03,841
Speaker 3: parents might not take that as funny.

104
00:05:04,081 --> 00:05:05,961
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay.

105
00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:11,481
Speaker 2: So Jay sometimes has like accents like around the girls,

106
00:05:11,521 --> 00:05:13,840
Speaker 2: and then I catch the girls doing it and I'm like, Okay,

107
00:05:14,121 --> 00:05:15,641
Speaker 2: only do that. You can't do that.

108
00:05:15,921 --> 00:05:20,001
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so that's exactly Elsie, but with her whole

109
00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:22,361
Speaker 3: personality at the moment and at ten, I am not

110
00:05:22,481 --> 00:05:24,960
Speaker 3: squashing it, right, I don't want to squash it. But

111
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,161
Speaker 3: the takeaway from having this catch up with a friend

112
00:05:27,241 --> 00:05:28,841
Speaker 3: was who said, I started to go down the track

113
00:05:28,841 --> 00:05:31,241
Speaker 3: of learning myself.

114
00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:32,561
Speaker 4: About the four gates of speech.

115
00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:35,601
Speaker 3: Why don't you try and teach Elsie the four gates

116
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,801
Speaker 3: meaning the gates into what speech is right? And she said,

117
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:42,561
Speaker 3: you sort of talked to the kids about like the

118
00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:43,481
Speaker 3: four gates.

119
00:05:43,161 --> 00:05:45,081
Speaker 4: Being is it kind?

120
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,681
Speaker 3: So you need to ask yourself all of these questions

121
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:52,321
Speaker 3: before you let rip. Okay, is it kind? Is it

122
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,521
Speaker 3: truth or truthful? Is there truth in it?

123
00:05:55,561 --> 00:05:56,441
Speaker 4: Is it necessary?

124
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:57,401
Speaker 2: Yeah?

125
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,161
Speaker 4: And is it the right time?

126
00:05:59,801 --> 00:05:59,961
Speaker 3: Yeah?

127
00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:03,601
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay. Number four right now for her is the big.

128
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,520
Speaker 3: One where I'm having troubles with, Yeah, of going like

129
00:06:06,601 --> 00:06:08,961
Speaker 3: babe time and place, Yeah.

130
00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:10,441
Speaker 2: Because there should really be a fifth one. But is

131
00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:10,961
Speaker 2: it funny?

132
00:06:11,281 --> 00:06:15,281
Speaker 3: Yeah? No? And giving Sam and their dad a little

133
00:06:15,281 --> 00:06:17,041
Speaker 3: bit of credit where credit's due, like he can be

134
00:06:17,081 --> 00:06:21,801
Speaker 3: funny sometimes, but then the girls learning that humor. I

135
00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:25,080
Speaker 3: think it's then okay for our child to do the same.

136
00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:29,721
Speaker 2: And it's not certain things that you say amongst friends, Oh,

137
00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:33,841
Speaker 2: we say them on this podcast. Yeah, because we're amongst friends. Yeah,

138
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,121
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know how many people have switched

139
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 2: off going fucking can't say that. I don't know that information.

140
00:06:41,081 --> 00:06:46,880
Speaker 2: But we definitely say things that are a little bit controversial

141
00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:49,561
Speaker 2: or a little bit edgy that you perhaps wouldn't say

142
00:06:49,641 --> 00:06:53,001
Speaker 2: in certain situations or around people.

143
00:06:53,201 --> 00:06:55,601
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe we need to use the four gates of

144
00:06:55,641 --> 00:06:56,681
Speaker 3: speech in this poet.

145
00:06:57,361 --> 00:06:59,960
Speaker 4: Let me RecA playing in a second. Is it kind?

146
00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:01,760
Speaker 4: Is it truthful?

147
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:02,681
Speaker 2: Sometimes?

148
00:07:02,761 --> 00:07:08,601
Speaker 4: Is it necessary? Absolutely? It is? People are laughing? And

149
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:09,601
Speaker 4: is it the right time?

150
00:07:09,881 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 3: My I'd look if I'm looking at my own gates

151
00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:15,361
Speaker 3: of speech kind, yes, truthful?

152
00:07:15,481 --> 00:07:17,801
Speaker 4: Yes, necessary? Absolutely, right time?

153
00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:20,241
Speaker 3: If I was to edge my own way, like sort

154
00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:23,121
Speaker 3: of reflection moment of going like which one is not

155
00:07:23,321 --> 00:07:27,001
Speaker 3: really my strongest. My strongest is right timing? Yeah, so

156
00:07:27,201 --> 00:07:30,481
Speaker 3: no one else is there as well? Talk about right timing?

157
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:36,881
Speaker 3: Sam also wrong time every time? Highly inappropriate? Yeah, maybe

158
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:41,281
Speaker 3: highly inappropriate, wrong time every time? Truthful probably, but no

159
00:07:41,321 --> 00:07:44,441
Speaker 3: one wants to hear it, meaning like truthful when usually

160
00:07:44,561 --> 00:07:46,401
Speaker 3: saying the inappropriate things, And I want to hear it

161
00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:48,041
Speaker 3: because's probably got a bit of truth to it, but

162
00:07:48,121 --> 00:07:49,801
Speaker 3: at the same time probably controversial.

163
00:07:50,081 --> 00:07:56,121
Speaker 4: That's why it's inappropriate, because it's truthful. Kind always kindness

164
00:07:56,161 --> 00:07:56,720
Speaker 4: is leading.

165
00:07:57,481 --> 00:08:00,321
Speaker 3: But yeah, I definitely, I just found it really interesting

166
00:08:00,321 --> 00:08:03,561
Speaker 3: because I had never heard of it put that way.

167
00:08:03,721 --> 00:08:06,921
Speaker 2: I know I hadn't either. I have definitely had conversations

168
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,081
Speaker 2: with my girls where I'm like, we can have a

169
00:08:09,161 --> 00:08:11,881
Speaker 2: laugh about that in this house, but don't say.

170
00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:15,161
Speaker 4: And that's the same thing with Els. I'm always like that,

171
00:08:15,281 --> 00:08:21,841
Speaker 4: just going like walking past somebody.

172
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:24,961
Speaker 3: I genuinely saw Gracie the dooy it this morning, as

173
00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:26,601
Speaker 3: when I dropped her off for school, and then this

174
00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:32,321
Speaker 3: poor person going past and no legs. No I wasn't

175
00:08:32,361 --> 00:08:35,761
Speaker 3: walking obviously, but like in a wheelchair.

176
00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:39,761
Speaker 4: And she just well, she's staring, staring. She's staring.

177
00:08:39,921 --> 00:08:42,961
Speaker 3: Now she's not staring out of disrespect, but it's like

178
00:08:43,081 --> 00:08:43,801
Speaker 3: she's twelve.

179
00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:46,441
Speaker 2: She's staring because she's interested and she wants to know

180
00:08:46,641 --> 00:08:48,121
Speaker 2: going on and it's something difference.

181
00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:52,801
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, you know all that awkward silence in

182
00:08:52,881 --> 00:08:55,441
Speaker 3: between where your three year old has thrown out a

183
00:08:55,441 --> 00:08:58,321
Speaker 3: comment about somebody walking past because they look different to

184
00:08:58,361 --> 00:09:00,241
Speaker 3: what they know io or.

185
00:09:00,721 --> 00:09:03,241
Speaker 2: And I've definitely been in this situation where you get

186
00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:07,481
Speaker 2: in a lift with your small a children, a quiet

187
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:11,641
Speaker 2: lift and there's someone that's a little larger in there,

188
00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:14,121
Speaker 2: and you're like, please, don's anything about.

189
00:09:13,881 --> 00:09:15,961
Speaker 3: Being well, you're in okay, Just to wrap it up,

190
00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:19,321
Speaker 3: but this one happened to be so many times, still does,

191
00:09:19,721 --> 00:09:22,561
Speaker 3: still does, but on different levels. You're in the toilet

192
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:25,721
Speaker 3: cubicle and you have your child with you, a they

193
00:09:25,761 --> 00:09:28,401
Speaker 3: either take the option to open the fucking door as

194
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,561
Speaker 3: you're on the toilet, don't open the door.

195
00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:34,161
Speaker 4: Don't open the door. And there's the door and you're like.

196
00:09:35,081 --> 00:09:37,361
Speaker 2: Especially if it's one of those ones, you know, one

197
00:09:37,361 --> 00:09:40,441
Speaker 2: of those ones that slides open like and you press

198
00:09:40,521 --> 00:09:43,521
Speaker 2: the button to lock it and they're so awkward anyway,

199
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:45,721
Speaker 2: but you can't love in and you're waiting for it

200
00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:48,521
Speaker 2: to slowly, so you just stood there waiting for the

201
00:09:48,561 --> 00:09:52,881
Speaker 2: door just like slowly slight cross close.

202
00:09:53,161 --> 00:09:55,721
Speaker 3: You're in the disabled toilet and it's really slow and

203
00:09:55,761 --> 00:10:01,281
Speaker 3: everyone else is walking past, not meant to be using this.

204
00:10:01,281 --> 00:10:04,241
Speaker 4: Toilet, but I am, and the door's really slow.

205
00:10:05,081 --> 00:10:07,201
Speaker 2: Old pushes the button while you're on the toilet and

206
00:10:07,201 --> 00:10:09,361
Speaker 2: you'll just set there and there's nothing you can do

207
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:14,121
Speaker 2: because it's just opening. All we could do is smile.

208
00:10:17,441 --> 00:10:21,561
Speaker 4: A wave midshit