WEBVTT - One of Us Is Trying For a Baby!!! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:00.360 Go on. 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:03.720 Welcome to first things First, I'm Brooklett, and my pronouns 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:04.440 are she and her. 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:06.600 I Maddie meals. My pronouns are he and human. Before 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:08.639 we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians of 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.080 the land on which we record, and today we're both 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:14.360 in studio. We are on where you were wrong and 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:18.919 borung countries and we're deadly and they're part of the 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:19.520 cooler nation. 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:21.720 Yes, yes, right, let's get into it. 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:22.040 Let's go. 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:27.400 So a bit of a question to you this episode. 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:29.760 Now, what is this an intervention? 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:34.600 No, actually no, it's actually more of a an announcement. 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:36.159 You've got an announcement, don't you. 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:38.920 I do? Can I have some trumpets. 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:41.360 Here? 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:41.720 Here? 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:46.600 Oh my god, guys, we're starting off really well. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:49.040 Here we have a prince or a princess on their way. No, 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:52.199 I'm kidding. I'm not pregnant, but I am starting the 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:55.760 surrogacy journey. Yes, so I'm getting. 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:57.000 Baby sounds. 0:00:58.800 --> 0:00:59.000 Shut. 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:04.480 I'm really excited because I'm going to be getting my 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:06.560 sperm analyzed this week and I want to see if 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:11.560 I have little swimmers. This is the first The first 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.679 step of the process is getting a microscope over all 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:17.200 my babies, the thousand of them I know, and just 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:18.000 I want to see them. 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:19.560 Oh my god. 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:21.480 I saw this quote today I think it was today 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:24.399 or yesterday, and it was like, it's about dating. It's like, 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:28.319 the sperm swims to the egg sists, so don't be swimming. 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:32.560 Pretty much like, so don't swim to them. Yeah, you 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:33.200 wait for them. 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:34.399 I love that. 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:36.640 I'm going I need I need it on a shirt. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:37.760 I need it on a shirt. 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:41.200 Well, I'm hoping that my you know, sperm will be 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.920 swimming to an egg soon. It's obviously a long process. 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:45.679 It's not something that's going to happen overnight. Like we're 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.640 starting the process. We're getting a sperm analysis done, and 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.840 then we're going to Columbia in August and we're going 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:53.560 to be having meetings with some surrogacy agencies on the 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:58.640 ground and having conversations with family members of my partner 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.720 so that we can work out exactly how the baby's 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:05.560 going to come. And we have a couple of scenarios 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:08.000 in the air. So a friend has offered to donate 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:10.600 her eggs, which is amazing, a really good friend of 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:12.920 mine who I trust. The other option is that my 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:17.480 partner's sister donates an egg and it can be both 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:20.480 of our DNA, which I would love. That would be 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:24.960 my top tier scenario. My sperm her egg which is 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:29.480 both Danny and I's DNA, and you can never that's undeniable, 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:34.160 you know, both family lineage is there and that's yeah. 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:36.360 So that that's sort of what's happening at the moment. 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:40.640 That's the Yeah, I know, And I always knew that 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.480 I would be a dad, and I feel like the 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.360 time has come where I need to now start the process, 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:48.720 which is amazing. And I have a great partner with 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:52.560 really good values that I feel like one we are 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:54.880 aligned on, which is really good. 0:02:55.000 --> 0:03:01.520 So this is exciting, I know, scary, very scared. 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.800 I'm scared because this is me to a t. I 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:08.800 wish that the baby could be growing inside me so 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:11.840 that I can control all the outcomes, you know what 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.680 I mean. I wish that I could have the baby. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.920 In the opposite I'm like, can someone just be pregnant? 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:17.919 And I just get the envy. 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:24.480 See, I'm so I suppose meticulous when it comes to process. Yeah, 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:27.000 And for this process, I've said to my partner, like, 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:29.960 we need to ensure that the person who's carrying the 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:34.000 baby is very healthy and like all those milestones that 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:36.200 you go through into pregnancy. We want to make sure 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:39.080 the agency like really is connected with us on those 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.800 because we're two men having a baby, Like what do 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.640 we know? No, you know, not a lot. So I 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:45.160 want to be. 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.680 Really apps like this is a thing, like you. 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:49.160 Can do a lot of research understanding. 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:51.640 Yeah, yeah, there's an app that you can follow how 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:52.680 big the baby. 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.360 Is from start to birth. 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.240 There's too much information to be fair out there, Like 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.520 you don't know where kind of to start in your journey. 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.840 But I think the best thing to start with this. 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.960 Us someone who has been a mother and has been pregnant. 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:08.880 Well absolutely, And also I have gay friends who are 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:12.040 dats you know. So I have a friend who's gone 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:15.080 through this exact same process and his sister donated the 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:18.400 egg and his partner sperm had a baby. Perfect, Like 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.159 that's the ideal scenario for us, and he's had that happens. 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.880 I've just seen that Luke and Sass Scott. 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:26.280 I follow them on TikTok and Instagram, and I think 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.640 they're actually so funny, and I've seen them at events 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:30.320 and they're always such a good time. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.839 There's such good husbands, like, yeah, you know. 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:36.159 Like Scott has a husband, Luke's I think single, right. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:37.640 I was trying to make a joke as if they 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:38.280 were husbands. 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.760 Oh my god, they actually had that as a joke. 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:44.200 I was par they're a couple to some of us. 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.280 Guy who was like, yeah, these lovers, they had a bait. 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:48.680 Yeah. It was just like a whole big thing. 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.200 I feel for this is the whole thing, like with 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:55.440 the scrutiny and controversy and media. Yeah, but no, Scott's 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:57.880 gone through the whole process and he's got twins. 0:04:57.960 --> 0:04:59.839 Twins got that's a handful. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.560 I'm pretty sure one, Yeah, totally. We've we've discussed this 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:06.200 scenario because I'm pretty sure that the Scott scenario with 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:10.520 his babies was that he's had twins, but one is 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:14.279 his sperm and once his partner sperm, so you know, 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:17.039 one one of each. I'm pretty sure that's that's the 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.440 scenario there, because they did share a little bit about it. 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.360 But I want to have a conversation with Scott because 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:23.520 we follow each other on social media, we connect online. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.440 We you know, send little memes and stuff, like we 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:26.880 have a dialogue going. 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:30.039 I really would them on the pod. I hope we 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:30.920 can be amazing. 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:32.520 Yeah. I feel like it'd. 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:35.120 Be so insightful for you to ask questions about the 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:35.719 whole journey. 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:37.880 Yeah, I know it's super expensive to do it through 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.160 the US. Yeah, Like what I've noticed is that we 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.920 need to cut as many corners as we can without 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:45.320 increasing the risk. You know, that's like my thing. I'm 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:48.360 like my partner, I know how expensive this is going 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.919 to be. We're talking, you know, probably around one hundred 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:55.560 and twenty thousand dollars. Wow, if you do the US route, 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:59.240 it's a lot of money. You can do you know, 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:04.039 for a lot less if you do it like Colombian agency, 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:08.320 it's more like sixty seventy thousand, halfish, Yeah, so halfish, 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:10.360 but it's still a lot of money. It's a lot 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:13.240 of money. But I feel like it's the investment of 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:13.680 your life. 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:16.320 That kind of also infuriates me because it's like, well, 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.040 you can you know, you have to pay. 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:19.800 That much money to have a baby. 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:22.360 You know, women have to do IVF if they want 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.400 to do it, and some men can just literally put 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:27.360 the penis in a woman and fucking run away, And 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:29.520 I don't know, it just annoys me because it's like 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.960 so easy. Sorry, And this is not me hating, No, 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:37.000 this is me just like generalizing. 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:41.360 But not when we spoke about fertility and you were 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.040 like getting fertility checks, did you get it done? 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.680 I got a referral. So I got a referral to 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.440 a fertility clinic. Yes, and I just have to book 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:50.599 my appointment. 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:51.640 Is that something you still want to do? 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:53.000 Yeah, of course, I just. 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:55.800 Have put it on the backburner recently because I've got 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.719 school on and acting. School's taken a lot of my time. 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:01.560 But oh my god, there's like such a part of 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:04.640 me that still wants it so bad. 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.159 And yeah, I thought. 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.520 I would be definitely in a different position at this 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:13.120 age of where I am now. But I think also 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:17.080 because I'm learning so much from school, I feel like 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:20.360 I am shedding a lot more and I want to 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.240 be in there, I guess the best position I can 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.160 be for my child and not putting any of my 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:30.080 trauma or any of my experiences and having that affect 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:32.960 my child and in the future, you know what I mean. 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:34.440 So it's it's good. 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:37.960 I'm still unpacking that and I didn't realize how much 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:40.000 work I had already done as well. But also how 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:41.920 much more work I still have to do, which is 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:43.320 everyone's on their journey. 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.240 But yeah, no, I still want to do it. Yeah, 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:46.920 I still think about baby names. 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:52.160 I love this, what's your top tier baby name? I 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:55.400 know your mom's name for a girl is important. 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:59.280 To Yeah, so that's just kind of like it. Like, well, 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:01.880 the excited thing is, my sister in law is pregnant. 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.520 So you know, my brother's just had his first child, 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:08.360 who's now six months, and he looks so I love 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.440 seeing my brother in my nephew and that's the beauty 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.680 of that's so beautiful. And then my sister in law 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:17.920 is having the first girl, which we always said, whoever 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:21.000 has the first girl will get the. 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:25.280 Name we spoke better exactly. Yeah, weren't they deciding that 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:26.320 it was going to be the middle name? 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.240 They did, so I get sort of right away with that, 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.720 which is actually really special. So if I have a 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.720 daughter in the future, like definitely Sianna. I love the 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:41.200 name Olive, not oliv No, Like, if I have another girl, 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:46.360 I'd much prefer having Gallay boys. You know how much 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.720 I love color, you know, and Siena is a color 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:51.720 like is that burnt Sienna? 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:52.040 You know? 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:54.640 Like that oca color, which I love. That's why cobra 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:57.520 is called koba because it means copper. So you know, 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.720 like if I ever have a daughter, I'll have Sienna 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:03.480 and Koba is my son, my first son. But I 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.760 love Olive or you know, it could be Oliver if 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:08.680 I have a boy, and then call him Oli or 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.440 Oliver as well, like whatever, But I don't know. I 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:14.720 just have this thing with colors and names, yes, and 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:19.400 having general like not female. 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:20.320 Specific and male. 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:21.679 I love that. 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.760 I do, Like, how do you feel about names? 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.520 Well? Have we do have a name picked out? Okay, 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:28.560 so we have a name picked out because it's honoring 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.600 my partner's uncle who died of HIV and no one 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:36.000 in that family your uncle, but yeah, it's my partner's uncle. Yeah. 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:40.640 So he his name was Emilio and it's a beautiful name. 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:45.600 And I love like the just the writing of it. 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:48.199 It's got that cursive feeling to it. I love that. 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:51.040 So if we have a boy, he'll be named Emilio. Yeah, 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:52.200 if we have a girl. 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:58.520 Brooklyn and Brooklyn. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:01.760 This isn't a popular name and not many people like 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.840 jump at it, but it was my NaN's nickname and 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:09.240 it was Fletcher and Fletcher Fletcher for a girl. Yeah, 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:10.840 but it's very Australian as well. 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:15.040 You know my favorite singer who is this bisexual woman. 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:17.600 Her name she's a redhead. 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:22.520 Okay, she's so hot, love it already Fire Fletcher's fiery 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:24.000 buyer Amelio. 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.000 But also another name I like is a Sarah, which 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:29.600 Sarah that means strength. 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:30.360 How do you spell that? 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:32.360 A C E R o Oh? 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:32.960 I love that. 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:34.600 That means strength and it means steal. 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:39.360 We have depth and you know, like substance. 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:39.360 To our name. 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.960 Yeah, but even a girl a Sarah yeah, something different. 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.520 Yeah, so you know, I definitely think if we have 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:47.120 a boy, it'll be Amelia. If we have a girl, 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.719 could be a Sero or Fletcher. These names are what 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.560 we're thinking right now. We might come that, you know, 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:56.240 baby who knows its like off the cards, off the cards. 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:03.040 Definitely Matthew like Daniel. No, we have the most Monday names, 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:07.840 Daniel and Matthew. Like. His actual name is Philippe, but 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.640 his middle name is Daniel and he's always used Yeah, 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:16.680 so he's philipp Is. Yeah. In my middle name is Joel, 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:21.000 Matthew Joel. I don't love my name. I don't resonate 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:22.600 with it. I don't feel like I. 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.560 Feel give them, give them like a name that you 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:26.480 know will be like famous. 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:29.319 I like the name of le Roy, Yeah, because it 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:33.240 comes from Gilroy, Gimilroy, the kid Larroy l Roy. 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:34.480 I do like that. 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:40.000 Yeah, just le Roy, like Larroy? Whyron I l Roy 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:44.200 like the kid Larroy, but without the kid. But he 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.559 will be a kid. There's I mean, there's a few 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:49.959 names that sort of go through through my mind. I 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.360 don't love anything mundane. I don't want any simple name. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:56.160 So nothing like biblical, like Joseph. 0:11:56.080 --> 0:12:02.680 No sire no, no, no, definitely not absolutely not. I 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:06.040 don't know where those names come from. But the Bible. 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:08.439 I think you're listening your friends. 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.319 Okay, also talking about the Bible. 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:14.480 No Sam Sam and Alex arem Ie Sam, Alex Knick, 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:16.480 Sam Alex Nick truly on repeat. 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:18.720 I love my shirt today. 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.439 Because it says my ex is my biggest fan. I'm like, 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.320 which X thinks this is about them? Which? 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:25.640 Okay, good question, Which X would be the biggest fan? 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.480 I was thinking about it. I don't know all of 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:28.479 them probably. 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:34.200 Talking about biblical and I guess going down the route 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.600 of you know, having a child one will you have 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:37.480 them baptize? 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.280 Is that something that you have in your family? Two? 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:43.240 Also, do you believe in God parents? Because I will 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:44.640 put my application in tomorrow. 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:47.840 You know, I believe in God parents. Not for the 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:51.640 reason of the I suppose the religion aspect. I believe 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:55.360 that I would want people to be part of the 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:58.400 family unit for support for I can we. 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.720 Call it other than God parents? Like, it's not. 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:03.679 But in our in our culture, you know, it's like 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:07.040 it's auntie, uncle it is, you know, it's we have 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:08.720 it already because our families. 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:10.560 Like other aunties and uncles are another mom and dad, 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:14.360 that's right, you know, yeah, brothers and sisters. 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.920 And we have that experience, you know. Like, so I 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:24.480 think that it'll be around us. 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:23.520 Such kinship, beauty of that. 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.960 So I think that, Like, but what I want is 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.240 that the you know, I have this. I get emotional. 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.200 Actually when I think about my kid already, how weird 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:31.560 is that? 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:35.400 It's not weird? Well, I cry about a baby I 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:36.960 haven't even got yet. What do you do? 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.160 When I think about my child, all I think about 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.760 is how much I want them to feel and see love. 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:45.800 That's what I want for them, So their experience as 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.320 a kid beautiful. I want them to know what that 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:52.480 feels like verbally, physically. I want their environment to be 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:56.439 love like. And because I think that as a dad, 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:00.559 like I want I want to show them, show them 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.280 something different. You know, dads can be soft and gentle 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:05.679 and supportive and kind and caring. 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.760 Oh my god, my dad, my doctor dad is like 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.760 exactly like that. And it's so crazy because he's only 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:13.480 come into my life for seven years. But imagine if 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.400 you had that your whole life, like you. I'm so 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:19.400 glad that I'm so strong and I've been so independent, 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:21.920 but I've had to be sort of reparented in that 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:25.840 sense to be yeah, yeah, exactly, and I had to 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:27.520 be a little bit learned to be a bit soft. 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:29.720 And I love my dad because he's just so personable. 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.680 But imagine if, yeah, you're going to be a great dad. 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:34.960 I just have feel it in my bones. You're gonna 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:35.960 be fucking wonderful. 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.000 I just know that it'll become my focus. It'll be 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.520 my whole personality. You know, I will be like you know, 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:43.160 I will be the dad that's at the park. 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:45.960 I need to get my dad's stuff out of way. 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:52.000 Breastfeeding I can already find like I already see joy 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:53.840 in just hanging out at the park with my kid 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:57.160 and the other parents all that sort of like parenthood 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:00.440 time with your young child. I already see that I 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.120 would enjoy that that. I know it'll be tough, but 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.200 also as a gay couple, we need to make sure 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.080 that the legality is something that my brain goes to 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.160 on parenthood when you're a gay couple. 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:12.560 Yeah, and like who gets the kids and. 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.920 What happens if anything goes down? You know what I mean? 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.760 Like that's like I am already. 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:20.520 Protective a prenup. 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.080 Well, I'm already protective of my child in that sense, you. 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:26.720 Know, so are you guys? Splitting the cost? 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:29.480 Yeah, it's so weird to think splitting the cost for 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:30.360 a baby, isn't it. 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.520 I think what's fair, though, is that I think as 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:36.920 a family unit, whoever is the breadwinner. If you're in 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:39.920 the family unit and you really love each other and 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:41.680 you want to create something together, I don't think it 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.080 needs to be fifty to fifty. I really don't. I 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:46.920 don't think that if someone's two examples, if someone's on 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.360 one hundred k year and someone's on three hundred k year, 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.280 that's not what we're on, but that if that was 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.840 what we were on, difference, there's a huge difference. So 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.360 I think that it's about coming together and making you know, 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:02.120 both making their investment at the time, the financial sacrifice, 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:03.640 but it doesn't need to be equal. 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.200 For me, Yeah, you can both contribute, but it doesn't 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.160 have to be fifty to fifty. Yeah however, Yeah, and 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:13.200 I think that's within your means, and it's about compromise 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:18.720 and communication and discussing like what is in your capacity. 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.800 Because for me, my timeline doesn't go out the window 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.960 whether I have a partner or not. Yeah, you know, 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:26.440 for me, having a baby is happening, it is. I 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.840 don't need to depend on my partner for that. Like 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.480 I know that the process depends on a woman and 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:35.520 an egg, but like you know, my gay partner, it 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:38.880 doesn't depend on our relationship. Yeah, which is super important 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.520 to me. So whether I'm with my partner or not, 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:42.960 I'm having a baby, do you know what I mean? 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.360 Yeah, And neither of you are are parents already. Yeah, 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:49.200 I mean you've kind of had a dog, so you 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:51.800 kind of can gage a bit of responsibility and you've 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:53.400 brought up you know, your siblings as well. 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.400 I was like, basically a human. 0:16:55.560 --> 0:17:00.360 Well, yeah, I feel so different, but very still war 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:05.960 a nappy. Well you both haven't been parents, so you're 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:08.800 going to have a figuring out sort of teething out process. 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:12.800 And he's really chill, and I'm really like rigent. I'm like, Nope, 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:14.080 this is what needs to happen, and we need to 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:16.600 talk to every agency that's possible, you know, Like he's like, no, 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.600 it would be fine. I'm like, fuck, you know that's good. 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:26.679 That's good. Balance, Balance, good name, baby a baby name Balance. No, 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.840 I don't speaking of that. What is the worst name 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:29.280 you've ever heard? 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:29.760 Balance? 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:40.800 You could say balance, balance, Hi, this is Balance calling 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.120 the roll Balance, it's Balance. 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.080 This poor girl had this name in high school and 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:49.360 I just watched her get absolutely teased her whole high 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.520 school life. And I will now never name my kid this. 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.280 But her name was Wylene. 0:17:56.600 --> 0:17:57.639 Spat out my drink. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.440 I know why, exactly why. 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.920 And then the joke used to always be whyleen when 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.359 you can stand, And I used to just want to 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.920 smash people's faces in because I'm like this poor little 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:12.240 Malaysian girl. 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:17.640 Alone, cultural name was exactly just leave her a disgusting behavior. 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:18.399 From teachers too. 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.560 Yeah, I know I used to want to like knock 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:26.159 them out, but yeah, Wylen is just frustrating, Like I. 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:26.840 Just feel for her. 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.480 So that's probably not what I will name my kid. 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:35.080 Probably not names that my exes have totally. 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.520 Ye, what about like cultural? 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:42.200 Yeah? Mostly yeah, I think like more but not. 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:46.720 Like not like real ghetto because like sometimes like I 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.080 know someone who's named their kids with the word kori 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:56.440 in every single one of their kids' names, koreanak. 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:56.920 And Kim Kardashi. 0:18:57.080 --> 0:18:59.200 Yeah, but k is on all their names. Like it 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.280 just it's a bit I don't like it. 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:06.360