1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,199 Speaker 1: I'll get it him. It's Harps. Welcome to another installment 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: of the show. Have your bloody terrific. It's probably Monday. 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: Well it's coming out on Monday. So if you're hearing 4 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: this on Monday, happy Monday. If it's any other day, 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: happy day, Happy bloody every day. In fact, let's have 6 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: all the days good. Let's do that. Ah. I saw 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: Tom Cruise the other day. Who is He's a cat, 8 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: isn't he? He's an interesting character, isn't he anyway? Irrespect 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: of what you think of him, he's kind of Yeah, 10 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 1: I was I was going to be judgy, but I 11 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 1: am interested by him. I think he is at times weird, 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: is at times brilliant, fascinating, clearly talented. But he does 13 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: say some things that I don't agree with. But he 14 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: also says some things that make me want to lean 15 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: in a little bit. And he was talking on something 16 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: that someone sent me about not being afraid of being afraid, 17 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 1: and I thought, I like that. I like that expression. 18 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: I like that of being okay with fear and being 19 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: able to put up your hand and go, hey, I 20 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: get scared all the time, or I get scared sometimes, 21 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: or I'm scared regularly, or it's something that impacts my 22 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 1: life and my thinking and my choices and my emotions. 23 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: And you know, I guess that pretty much everybody that 24 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 1: I talk to at some stage, we when I sit 25 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 1: down and we go deep on something, or we're just 26 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: even having coffee, But if we talk about life or 27 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: career or kids, or growth, or health or well being 28 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: or the meaning of life or purpose or any of 29 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: those light things, we eventually come back to something which is, 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: you know, in the ballpark of fear. And it might 31 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: be a manifestation or a symptom of fear, like overthinking 32 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: or self doubt or self loathing, or apprehension or avoidance, 33 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: or a whole bunch of things that can be linked 34 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: to some kind of fear. And so human humans are fear. 35 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: It's always been part of the human experience. We've always 36 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 1: been all of us and will always be scared of something. 37 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: We might be more or less scared over time, the 38 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: thing that once terrified us might not down the track, 39 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: so that thing that was scary is no longer scary. 40 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: In fact, the thing that we're scary, for example, public speaking, 41 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 1: might be something that over time, with work and skill 42 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: and improvement and all of those things and cognitive shifts 43 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: you become really quite fond of or even not only 44 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,680 Speaker 1: does it not give you fear or anxiety or any 45 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,920 Speaker 1: of those negative emotional things, but it gives you joy, 46 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 1: It gives you pleasure, It connects you to other people, 47 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: it gives you it's provided you with growth and development 48 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: and insight and all of those things. So we can 49 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: the same person can go from being scared of something 50 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: to somewhere in the ballpark of the opposite. But there 51 00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: will always be things that scare us, and that is 52 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: part of this human experience. And some of those things 53 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: that scare us should scare us. Some of those things 54 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: that scare us in built evolutionarily. They've been there for 55 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 1: a long time. The evolutionary purpose of fear is it's 56 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: a survival mechanism, you know, fight, flight, freeze. It's there 57 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: to protect you from whatever the real or perceived or 58 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: potential threat might be. It's not a new thing, and 59 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: it's not a thing that's going away. But I guess 60 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: the thing that I'm most interested in. And again I'm 61 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: not an expert in this field. This is me talking 62 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: to you, Me a guy who's been scared a lot. 63 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: And continues to worry about things or be scared of things. 64 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: And it's always hard to be objective about you. You 65 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: being objective about you, me being objective about me. But 66 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: I think overall, I'm less fearful than I used to be. 67 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: I still have fear, I still worry about things. I 68 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: can still ruminate or obsess a little bit. But I 69 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: think I'm far less influenced or controlled or limited or 70 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: held to ransom by my fear than I once was. 71 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: I think I've always been This might sound arrogant, and 72 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 1: if it does, I apologize. I think I've always been 73 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 1: a little bit brave, though, because I've always been prepared 74 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: to do things that scared me. Not everything that scared me, 75 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: of course, But I think for me understanding that because 76 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: I wasn't the super talented, gifted, you know, any of 77 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: those things kind of human, you know, I didn't grow 78 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: up being exceptional in any way. I knew that if 79 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 1: I was going to succeed or grow or learn or 80 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 1: evolve or become a better version of me, or end 81 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: up not broke, or end up in a career I 82 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: hopefully loved, or end up in a physical condition that 83 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: was healthy, I knew that I would have to do 84 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: hard things, uncomfortable things, things that I was unfamiliar with, 85 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: things that were uncertain, things that were for me unknown, 86 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: and in summary, things that scared me. And you know, 87 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 1: I don't think there's a three step plan to overcoming fear. Also, 88 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: I don't think all fear needs to be overcome. Of course, 89 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: there are some things which are healthy fears. Hey, don't 90 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: walk in front of the car, don't put your hand 91 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: in the fire, you know, don't do that dumb shit. 92 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: Probably don't walk home late at night in a dangerous 93 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,280 Speaker 1: area by yourself. These are probably wise things to embrace. 94 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: But then there are those other fears that can be 95 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: that can be debilitating unless we offset that fear or 96 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: we lean into that fear with a little bit of courage. 97 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: And so I guess the idea is well for me, 98 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: the idea and personally and for those that I've worked with, 99 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: has not been to overcome fear, but to understand it, 100 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: to understand it and from where it arises, and what 101 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,279 Speaker 1: we can do about it, and what we can't do 102 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: about what's in our control and what's not in our control. 103 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: So I might be fearful about what might happen the 104 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: next five ten years in the world on planet Earth. 105 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: What the fuck is going to happen? I don't know 106 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: right now. It's kind of scary. It's kind of scary, 107 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: and I could I don't, but I could probably start 108 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: reading everything, listening to everything, watching everything, absorbing all the 109 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 1: stuff that's going on around the world, everybody's opinion, both sides, 110 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:36,040 Speaker 1: all sides, whatever, and I could be pretty much stuck 111 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: in some kind of analysis paralysis with you know, by lunchtime. 112 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,919 Speaker 1: But I know that that one doesn't resolve anything. It 113 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: doesn't fix anything, it doesn't change. I am not single 114 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: handedly going to change the destiny of mankind or probably 115 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: anything in particular, to be honest, but you know, I'll 116 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,039 Speaker 1: still keep speaking up and having a crack. But what 117 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: is better in terms of managing emotional energy, my psychological energy, 118 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: my physiological energy around fear is to pay attention most 119 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: to the things that are in my control while acknowledging 120 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: the stuff that's a bit scary and being okay with 121 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: being scared. Tom Cruise, I'm not scared of being scared, 122 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: And that fucking weirdo does some incredible shit in his films, 123 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: and so I think it's in the intentional and conscious 124 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: choosing of to lean into the fear, to do the 125 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: thing that scares us, to lean into the potential failure. 126 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: You know, let's hope we don't failure, but maybe we 127 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: can reframe the failure as a lesson or growth. We're 128 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: scared of the unknown. We're scared of being alone. We're 129 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: scared of what are we scared. We're scared of rejection. 130 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: We don't want to be rejected. We want to belong. 131 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: We want someone or something, an organization, a group, a religion, 132 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: a person, a dog, a pet, a cat, you know, 133 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 1: a partner. We want someone to love us and want 134 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,239 Speaker 1: us and need us. We want to belong. We don't 135 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: want to be a fucking island in a sea of humanity. 136 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: We're terrified of that. And sometimes we're like, oh, fuck, 137 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind being an island. Two people drive me nuts. 138 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: That's cool until that actually happens, and we're social creatures. 139 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 1: Where social creatures, we need love, we need connections. So 140 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: the inherent fear that many of us have are being 141 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: rejected and being alone and being unseen and being unwanted 142 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: or being you know, not desirable on some level to 143 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: someone These are normal and completely understandable fears, fear of embarrassment, 144 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: fear of pain, fear of an uncertain future, fear of 145 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: people figuring out who we are, who we really are, 146 00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: and hopefully you know, most of us are okay, we're 147 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: not terrible humans. Where we're not perfect humans. We're flawed humans. 148 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: We're trying. But I think some of us think way 149 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 1: worse of ourselves than anyone else ever would or probably could, 150 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: because we're so scared of them discovering what goes on 151 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: inside our head. We're so scared of them seeing behind 152 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: the curtain or behind the mask. And we are who 153 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: we are, and that doesn't mean we can't change or 154 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: be better. But this is an ongoing thing. It's trying 155 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: to navigate life through the myriad of you know, corporate 156 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: things and personal things and interpersonal things and health things 157 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: and academic things and social settings and opportunities and problems 158 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: and fuck ups and all of this normal stuff. In 159 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: the middle of that, we're constantly dealing with things that 160 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: scare us or can scare us. And so not to 161 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: be trapped in fear or controlled by fear or driven 162 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: by fear, but to go fear is going to be 163 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 1: a constant in my life and the volume will go 164 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 1: up or down. It could be a one out of ten, 165 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: this scares me, it could be an eleven out of ten. 166 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:22,239 Speaker 1: I'm fucking terrified of this thing. I feel totally paradised, paralyzed. 167 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 1: I can't breathe, you know, for me over the years, 168 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: even now, like even right now, I'm going to be 169 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: one hundred percent honest, even right now, and I try 170 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: to be one hundred percent honest if I but like 171 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: in this moment, part of me, a very low level 172 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 1: part of my awareness has gone. Is this bullshit? Is 173 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: this okay? Will they like this? Will they hate this? 174 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: Should I have done? Should I have picked another topic? 175 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: Is this relevant? Am I explaining this in a way 176 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: that makes sense to people? Will this build connection? Have 177 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: people turned off already? Am I explaining thing in a 178 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: way that is understandable? Or I just fucking babbling on? 179 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: So in almost anything that we do for me, there's 180 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: always a potential problem or hiccup or something that I'm 181 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: aware of that there might be low level fear wrapped around. 182 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 1: While right now I don't feel overwhelmed by fear, but 183 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: there's a very low level fear with everything that I do, 184 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: whether or not it's corporate speaking or putting a post 185 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,559 Speaker 1: up on Instagram, or whether or not it's helping someone 186 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: or serving somebody, that I might be giving someone the 187 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: wrong fucking advice, or I might be speaking a language 188 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 1: that people don't connect with, or I might be heading 189 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: down a path that just is in the path that 190 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: my leaders, listeners or followers want to go on, right 191 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: and that on that journey. And so this is all 192 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 1: just normal stuff. But I think be mindful that you know, 193 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,440 Speaker 1: fear can save your life, fear can destroy your life. 194 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: You know, if I really pay attention to that wisdom, 195 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 1: that kind of that's interlinked with that kind of rational fear, 196 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: the rational fear that, hey, Craig, this is you putting 197 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: all your eggs in this, for example, this corporate venture 198 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: or this commercial opportunity. You know, you're sixty one, you've 199 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: got a few dollars, you've been moderately successful, maybe taking 200 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: ninety percent of what you've gotten throwing it into that 201 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: thing that you're not really passionate about anyway, Maybe that's 202 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: not a great idea. Maybe that fear, maybe that apprehension, 203 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: maybe that anxiety, maybe that little kind of emotional alarm 204 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: bell that's fucking banging in my head is there for 205 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: a very good reason, and it's that very sound and 206 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: rational fear that's going to keep me out of trouble 207 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: moving forward. So there is good fear, there is rational 208 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: there is empowering fear, and there is disempowering and destructive fear, 209 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: you know. So for me, I've been scared of, like 210 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: many of you are, uncertainty in the future, rejection, growing up, 211 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 1: being you know, rejected, and all that crap which everybody 212 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 1: does to an extent of being found out, that imposter 213 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: thing that I've spoken about many times, of people figuring 214 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 1: out he's really not as smart as he likes to 215 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 1: think he is, and bibbity bobby boo, here he is 216 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: that of I'm not only of failure but also of success. 217 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: Like that's such a weird one. People think, why on 218 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 1: earth would anyone be scared of success? And I think 219 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: for some people, with success comes. And I think it 220 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: varies from person to person, because I think pressure is 221 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 1: a self created thing. On many levels. It's stimulated, stimulated 222 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: by what happening or triggered paths by what's happening in 223 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: the external world, but it's an internal world production like 224 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: I my story, my fear, my self doubt, my overthinking, 225 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: my obsession, my rumination is turning up the volume on 226 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,959 Speaker 1: my fear. But for many people, they succeed and then 227 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: they're scared of not being able to maintain that success, 228 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, people have put them on 229 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 1: a pedestal and people think they're amazing, and people think 230 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: they're great, and now they're exactly where they aimed to be. 231 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: They've reached the goal. They're making lots of dough, or 232 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 1: they're making some dough there. And it doesn't necessarily need 233 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: to be something grandiose that everybody sees. It might be 234 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: within a building company, or it might be a photography 235 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: business that you have, or whatever it is. But then 236 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: then we can get to the point where we think, 237 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: what if it all goes away? What if I lose 238 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: the money, What if I lose the momentum? What if 239 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: I do a shit job? What if people discover that 240 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: I was kind of lucky, not brilliant, and they figure 241 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: out because I do the next thing, and the next 242 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: thing is not as good as the last thing, And 243 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: that's all anybody sees. So it's not unreasonable that that 244 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: people have both this fear of failure but also simultaneously, 245 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: if not simultaneously, eventually of success. So I guess the 246 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: outcome of fear depends like, what is the end result 247 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: of your fear? What is the end result of my fear? Okay, 248 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: so we're all scared, we all get scared of shit. 249 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: We do dumb shit, we do smart shit. Some fear 250 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: is good, some fear is bad. Sum's life destroying, some's 251 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 1: life saving. But I guess that one of the important 252 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: questions is, so what's the byproduct, what's the outcome? What's 253 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: the net result of your fear? And I guess that 254 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: depends on what you do with that fear. If what 255 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: you do with that fear is sit on it and 256 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: you let it build an emotional and psychological and behavioral 257 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: prison for you that you stay in. You're now in 258 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: your own self created fear prison because you're too scared 259 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: to try anything, or do anything, or say anything. And 260 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: I'm not saying, by the way, that any of this 261 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: is easy. This is not criticism. This is just how 262 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: we work. I know many people, including myself, at times, 263 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: which have overthought and underdone things. A thing many things 264 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: for a very long time. But when the outcome of fear, 265 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: if I'm scared of something, but I realize or I 266 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: believe that that might be that course that I'm scared of, 267 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: that action that I'm scared to take, that decision that 268 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: I'm scared to make, that conversation that I'm scared to have, 269 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: if I truly believe through all of that fear, I 270 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 1: actually need to do that thing to break through. I 271 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: actually need to do that thing to get where I 272 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 1: want to go. I can't get where I want to 273 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: go without dealing with this fear without negotiating this emotional 274 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 1: and this psychological anchor that I drag around with me 275 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: every day. I need to lean into it, and I 276 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 1: will be scared, and I will be scared, and that 277 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 1: is okay. And guess what often, very very often. I 278 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 1: think Paul Taylor mentioned a quote on this show once 279 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,959 Speaker 1: and it was something like he was referring to some 280 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,120 Speaker 1: legit research and it was something like, outed for every 281 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:34,479 Speaker 1: hundred things that people worry about in the future, so 282 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 1: things that they fear happening in the future, ninety two 283 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: I think it was ninety one or ninety two of 284 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,640 Speaker 1: the one hundred never happened like ever, Right, So they 285 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: invested all of that energy in all of this shit, 286 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 1: like the majority of things that never happened, and of 287 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,919 Speaker 1: the eight percent that do happen, I think it was 288 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: something like the majority of that really was little more 289 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 1: than speed hump. It wasn't the catastrophe or the major 290 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 1: problem that they thought it would be. And then the 291 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 1: one or two percent that was actually quite a problem 292 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,439 Speaker 1: they got through anyway. They got through anyway, and it 293 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't a total devastation. And so, you know, 294 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: we stuff happens, you know, this external word sits worlds, situation, circumstance, environment, 295 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: other people, you know, Korea, academia, relationships, all that stuff, 296 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 1: you know, and then the internal world, we're processing it, 297 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 1: we're thinking about it, we're ruminating on it. We're trying 298 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 1: to figure out whether or not it's good for us 299 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 1: or bad for us us, whether or not we like it, 300 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 1: whether or not we want to do it or don't 301 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: want to do it. And in the middle of that 302 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,719 Speaker 1: is emotion and beliefs and values and fear and anxiety 303 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: and self doubt and trying to rationalize things. And then 304 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: we end up in this state that might be empowered 305 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: or disempowered. And sometimes you know, we need to move 306 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: forward in faith and belief, maybe the faith and in 307 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: yourself or someone else or something else. But drowning in 308 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: our fear is definitely not a way to move forward. 309 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: I think the Stoics said something like, we suffer more 310 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 1: in our imagination than in reality. We suffer more in 311 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: imagination than in reality. And it's so true. It's so true. 312 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 1: And that's not to say that there are not real 313 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: problems and real catastrophes and real damage. Of course, we 314 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 1: know that we're not pretending that life's a Disney movie. 315 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,160 Speaker 1: We're not pretending that we're not pretending that shit isn't hard. 316 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,159 Speaker 1: We're not pretending that people don't get cancer, and that 317 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,120 Speaker 1: wars don't happen and bad shit doesn't happen to good people. 318 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,160 Speaker 1: We're not pretending that we realize that, we know that, 319 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: we acknowledge that. We're talking about day to day, you 320 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 1: and me living, doing our thing, wherever we are, whatever 321 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:58,119 Speaker 1: we do, whatever relationship we're in or not in or 322 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 1: want to be in, or you know, our colleagues, our workmates, 323 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: our family, our friends, all the things that we need 324 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: to do to live our best life. In the middle 325 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 1: of that, there's always going to be challenged, there's always 326 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 1: going to be peaks and troughs, there's always going to 327 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,640 Speaker 1: be fear, And so I think it's important for us 328 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:23,720 Speaker 1: to see fear as information rather than the enemy. So 329 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: this is, oh, this is interesting. What is this about? 330 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: What is this fear about? Where does this come from? 331 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,199 Speaker 1: Or what is this apprehension? What is Why am I 332 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: avoiding this thing? Why am I not doing this thing? 333 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,640 Speaker 1: Why when I know that I should stop doing that 334 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 1: thing that's bad for me, do I keep doing it? 335 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,919 Speaker 1: Or why do I not do the thing that I 336 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: know I should do? What's the fear around? That's what's 337 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: keeping me trapped in a behavioral groundhog day that's more 338 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: destructive than productive. Why am I doing that? So fear 339 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 1: is not the enemy. Fear as part of life. And 340 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: like Stephen Covey said in his book, seek first to Understand, 341 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,199 Speaker 1: he wasn't talking about this, but I think that's not 342 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: a bad sentence to insert seek first to understand. And 343 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: this is one of the ever present challenges. I believe 344 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: with all things personal growth, all things psychology, all things 345 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: human behavior is for us to understand the thing that 346 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,160 Speaker 1: we're trying to manage, the thing that we're trying to navigate, 347 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: be that a person, be that a situation, be that 348 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,120 Speaker 1: a destructive habit. I think the starting point is insight 349 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,400 Speaker 1: and awareness and information. How can I navigate the thing 350 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 1: I don't understand? What is my fear? Why am I fearful? 351 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 1: Where did this come from? If I can understand it 352 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 1: logically and rationally, I can do something about it. I 353 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 1: can build my courage muscles. Just like you take your 354 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: body to the gym or the running track or wherever 355 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: you exercise or work out can take, you can take 356 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,199 Speaker 1: your brain and your emotion and your mind to that 357 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: training ground of life where you just you just keep 358 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,439 Speaker 1: showing up, you swipe your card, you walk in, and 359 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 1: you just go and put yourself in a situation where 360 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,400 Speaker 1: you've got to build, You've got to grow, you've got 361 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 1: to learn, you've got to evolve. Because you're lifting those weights, 362 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,920 Speaker 1: you're working against that resistance of fear. You're working against 363 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,639 Speaker 1: that apprehension and that self doubt and all those fear 364 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:33,360 Speaker 1: related states and emotions. I want you to also think about, 365 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 1: maybe think about how you contribute to your fear, like, 366 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:50,119 Speaker 1: is this fear logical or irrational? Again, no judgment in 367 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,240 Speaker 1: that call. We're just trying to open the awareness door. 368 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: Like I know, there have been things with me over 369 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 1: the years that have scared me or derailed me somewhat 370 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: that were illogical fears. There's no logical reason to be 371 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: scared of that thing, but nonetheless I was. And you know, 372 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 1: I guess one of my friends is terrified to fly. 373 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: And there's no judgment. It's a guy, and he travels 374 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 1: for business and whenever he can, he'll any time he 375 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 1: can take any option other than a plane if he 376 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 1: can drive there, even if he's got stuff in Sydney, 377 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,919 Speaker 1: he will often drive to Sydney rather than catch a 378 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 1: one out flight or whatever it is. And I've spoken 379 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 1: to him many times in loving caring way. I go, dude, 380 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 1: you know that you're more likely to die in your 381 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 1: car than in a plane. And he knows all the data, 382 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: he knows all the statistics, he knows the probability, and 383 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 1: he also knows that statistically his fear is irrational, but 384 00:23:55,040 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 1: nonetheless it's there. And so you know, I've over the 385 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: years been working with him on that a bit. You know, 386 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 1: It's not something that's been a big project, but just 387 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 1: something we go back and forth on, and in my 388 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 1: very bro science kind of evaluation, I would say his 389 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: fear has gone from pretty much a ten out of 390 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 1: ten where he couldn't almost just couldn't do it, and 391 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 1: now his fear is about a three. He flies pretty regularly. 392 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: He doesn't love it, he doesn't enjoy it, but it's 393 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: not paralyzing anymore. But I mean, getting on a plane 394 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,640 Speaker 1: is still getting on a plane. You know, there's still 395 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: some risk. That's not like there's no risk, but there's 396 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 1: much lower risk statistically anyway. But nonetheless, So how did 397 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: he start to turn down the volume? How did he 398 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,399 Speaker 1: start to mitigate that fear? How did he start to 399 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 1: manage that fear rather than being managed by the fear? 400 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: While he just started scared, He just started scared. He 401 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 1: was scared, and he started He got on the plane scared, 402 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: He went to the airport scared, endured that whole fucking 403 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 1: flight scared, and then he worried for the next three 404 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: days while he was doing meetings and conferences and whatever 405 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 1: in Sydney, worried about the plane. He didn't worry about 406 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,639 Speaker 1: his presentations. Or his work or the out he worried 407 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: about the fucking our twenty minute flight that was going 408 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,639 Speaker 1: to happen on Friday or whatever it was. So but 409 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,880 Speaker 1: this is, you know, this is part of the human experience, 410 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: is that we have the opportunity, like, we don't need 411 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,360 Speaker 1: to go. I'm just terrified. I'm scared of that. That's it, 412 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 1: because when we go on, we're also then saying, well, 413 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,960 Speaker 1: I'm not in control. It's in control. The fear is 414 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: in control. I am not in control of whether or 415 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: not I can get on a plane. The fear is 416 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 1: I can't control it. Well, we can't switch it off, 417 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: we can't go right, I'm ten out of ten fearful 418 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 1: of this thing, whatever the thing is. And now hang on, 419 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 1: let me just breathe deeply. Fuck now, I'm a one. No, 420 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 1: that's not happening. But what we can do over time 421 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:01,480 Speaker 1: is we can decrease that number because we have experiences. 422 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: We did the thing that scared us. We don't die, 423 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 1: and we desensitize ourselves somewhat to that thing, and so 424 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 1: we contribute to our own fear. Many of us anyway, 425 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: with perception, with storytelling, with catastrophizing, with ruminating, with overthinking, 426 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: with making assumptions, and then we take something that may 427 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: be a little bit true or maybe not true at all, 428 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:33,119 Speaker 1: and we turn that thing into an internal catastrophe where 429 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: we've just we've taken something that we really do not 430 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: literally need to fear, but now it's a big part 431 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: of our story. And so back to seek first to 432 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 1: understand and being choosing to be courageous, I mean encourages 433 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,439 Speaker 1: it literally a choice. Fear is not a choice. You 434 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 1: can't choose to be not fearful. If you're fearful, I'm 435 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 1: not critical of you fearful about things perhaps you shouldn't 436 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 1: be fearful of Well, I'm not critical at all. That's very, 437 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,679 Speaker 1: very common. I think everybody, me included still as we 438 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 1: all have something that's kind of dumb, but we're scared 439 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 1: of whatever it is or it's but on a level, 440 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,239 Speaker 1: maybe it makes sense. But the challenge for us is 441 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 1: to try to live our best life, to explore our 442 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 1: talent and our opportunities and our resources and our genetic 443 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: potential and our intelligence, our brain so that we can 444 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: in the middle of the apprehension and the fear and 445 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: the self doubt, we can still choose to be courageous 446 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,360 Speaker 1: and move forward anyway. The challenge ain't to be fearless. 447 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:45,119 Speaker 1: The challenge is to be scared and brave, to turn 448 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 1: down the volume on the fear, to go where we grow, 449 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:54,439 Speaker 1: to not be held ransom by our fear. It can 450 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: be a training ground where we grow, learn, evolve, gain understanding, 451 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: inside awareness and confidence. Or it can be the thing 452 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,919 Speaker 1: that derails us. Don't let it derail you.