Speaker 1: Yes, it's a Christy Swan show.
Speaker 2: Oh hey, okay, have you got your citronella spray.
Speaker 1: I'm going to I'm going to pop a little bit
Speaker 1: in my bum bag, little spray, and I imagine it
Speaker 1: comes in the same size as the little Specsavers, you know,
Speaker 1: lens wash.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it does.
Speaker 1: And every time you say something naughty or every time
Speaker 1: Tom accuses me of being insane.
Speaker 2: If you're not sure what we're talking about, Michelle just mentioned.
Speaker 3: In the news that our post is and now carrying
Speaker 3: around citronella spray to spray dogs that are attempting to
Speaker 3: attack them.
Speaker 1: It is the thing, you know. I know, it's been
Speaker 1: a long time since you had your dog, Brittany or
Speaker 1: whatever her name was, Steva. Ah. They really do not
Speaker 1: like postmin Yeah, they just don't. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: Is it the fluo red or the bright colors they
Speaker 2: wear that the dogs find intimidating.
Speaker 1: You because they've you know, Murphy sees that it's not
Speaker 1: the bike, because he's quite happy with anyone else on
Speaker 1: a bike. It's the poor postman.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's the movement of putting the paper in the
Speaker 2: box so tope.
Speaker 1: Anyway, he gets very vicious.
Speaker 3: Hey, after three o'clock, we're gonna be talking about Nicole Kidman,
Speaker 3: because can you believe it?
Speaker 1: She has a new film, what like after Baby Girl,
Speaker 1: which still hasn't really I mean, hasn't been released here yet,
Speaker 1: has it? Girl? Only just though.
Speaker 3: It's been in cinemas a few weeks. But she's got
Speaker 3: another film next though. Mister Chrissy thirteen twenty four ten.
Speaker 3: If you would like your mind read, Chrissy Swan is
Speaker 3: gonna leave the studio and mister Chrissy will enter.
Speaker 2: Read your mind and give you a Specsavers.
Speaker 1: Actually okay with Nicole and Keathy. Well, sometimes when you
Speaker 1: don't want to be at home, trouble in Paradise.
Speaker 3: He's got a new reality show. He's just signed up
Speaker 3: to Today's Things aren't good?
Speaker 2: That's hey, no, the.
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan Show. Could he burn some incense? Plase? Specsavers
Speaker 1: is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Speaker 2: Should have gone to Specsavers.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Victoria. I require payment up front. It's fifty
Speaker 1: five dollars if you paid by card, fifty dollars for cash.
Speaker 4: Fifty five dollars is a bit expensive, but okay, cut
Speaker 4: it is.
Speaker 1: You love neighbors, the show, ordered people, the show. Oh
Speaker 1: I used to, Yes, so I've written here Nana Wdding
Speaker 1: Why I don't know why, but that's where Channel ten
Speaker 1: used to be, in a suburb, in a suburb called
Speaker 1: Nana Wadding.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have been there.
Speaker 1: Gusty, gusty winds.
Speaker 5: I live on Philip Island. It's often pretty gusty and windy.
Speaker 1: You have lost a hat.
Speaker 4: Oh, I haven't lost a hat, but I make.
Speaker 2: Cat Oh what's that called millinery?
Speaker 1: Millinery?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Not the way I do it. I just chop up
Speaker 5: towels and sm together.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What you chop up towels?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Hat out of towels.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's like something Justin Bieber would wear, like a
Speaker 2: floppy mixed mismatch hate.
Speaker 5: I dot would wear mine.
Speaker 1: But maybe does anybody wear them?
Speaker 6: I do?
Speaker 7: And I give them this gift.
Speaker 2: Maybe you'd want one?
Speaker 3: Hey, no, dead, said Victoria. I would love one. I'm
Speaker 3: going to get Tom to give you our address.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, send you on. You're the best.
Speaker 1: What color? What color are you going to go?
Speaker 2: Whatever? Whatever? Victoria thinks, don't go rain Bell. We just
Speaker 2: because I'm gay, oh, okay, a nice statee of brown. Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: brown's brown's a color of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 7: Cool.
Speaker 4: Very Oh, I've probably am.
Speaker 1: You've got to make an appointment.
Speaker 5: I'll do it.
Speaker 1: You do because you've you've seen yourself recently. You've gone,
Speaker 1: oh my god.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I did look down today, wow.
Speaker 1: And then you thought, oh my god, I thought this
Speaker 1: in summer. What's it going to be like in middle
Speaker 1: of July.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just think.
Speaker 7: I just think that.
Speaker 2: Actually, I just think I need to sort myself out.
Speaker 2: A penguin's fairy.
Speaker 1: No, the feathery, aren't they?
Speaker 5: The baby one's a furry.
Speaker 1: Actually, that's a good question. Do penguins have fur or
Speaker 1: feathers to feathers? I just thought, Tom, and I did know.
Speaker 1: I've I've had to suffer through many tutorials and like
Speaker 1: group tours about penguins. Have you obedient? You've got a
Speaker 1: chocolate labrador.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I've got two very disobedient dogs and two disobedient children.
Speaker 1: Weeping friendly. You're really friendly, but sometimes it gets you
Speaker 1: into trouble. All the time you went looking, what was
Speaker 1: that there was something that happened in the supermarket or
Speaker 1: the second hand shop.
Speaker 5: Oh, the second hand shop always. I love the second
Speaker 5: hand shop.
Speaker 7: And answer ever talking and getting into trouble.
Speaker 1: What's the best thing you found in a second hand shop?
Speaker 1: Was it a piece of art?
Speaker 7: The designer bag.
Speaker 2: From who? Which designer?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 5: I can't remember now, but I remember googling it and
Speaker 5: then selling it.
Speaker 2: Cotton cotton, Victoria, speaking of designer, you can get yourself
Speaker 2: a design a pair of sunglasses or glasses because you
Speaker 2: have a VIP Specsaviors voucher and two hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: dollars cash.
Speaker 5: Amazing.
Speaker 1: Can you recommend the Vivian Westwood Range? Extraordinary?
Speaker 2: I look forward to receiving my hat, Victoria, thank you.
Speaker 1: The Crissy Swan show. You know Jack in particular, he
Speaker 1: is a brutal judge like you think Judge Judas Shineling
Speaker 1: is tough. You haven't meant Judge Judith, Charles.
Speaker 2: Judith should be manual to ego when I'm drunk, actually,
Speaker 2: because that's not that.
Speaker 1: Do you know what a dream of mine would be
Speaker 1: is you and I just at a table at a
Speaker 1: like at the back of a restaurant, so you know, quiet,
Speaker 1: so I can hear you. Yeah, I'm not constantly going
Speaker 1: what say it again? No, I can hear you. And
Speaker 1: then we just got to scroll through Reddit and just
Speaker 1: do that all night and just eat fries and oysters.
Speaker 2: Deep dive on every article.
Speaker 1: God, can we do that please?
Speaker 2: And can work pay for it?
Speaker 1: That's a dream. I give you this because you are
Speaker 1: a brutal judge, particularly with people that say things like
Speaker 1: should I should I stay? Or should I go? She should?
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to say one hundred of the time
Speaker 1: you say that they should go.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: We debuted this segment last week, and I came into
Speaker 3: it with an open mind, but I soon realized after
Speaker 3: every caller we spoke to I recommended that they go.
Speaker 1: Yeah you did. You did go through the motions, though
Speaker 1: you asked a few questions, and then eventually like.
Speaker 2: Nah, leave, she should.
Speaker 1: I don't think there'll be anybody who will disagree with
Speaker 1: you on this one. Okay, Am I the A for
Speaker 1: wanting to divorce my husband because he added pe to
Speaker 1: my food? A few months ago, I started noticing that
Speaker 1: my food was tasting weird, not like bad, like, not
Speaker 1: like bad like rotten, just off. Specifically my overnight oats,
Speaker 1: my yogurt bowls, and sometimes even my brood coffee, that
Speaker 1: maybe the fridge was on the blink, but everything else
Speaker 1: seemed to be fine. To have a friend about it,
Speaker 1: and she was like, you need to put a camera
Speaker 1: in your fridge just in case, because it's just my,
Speaker 1: my husband and I living alone. The only other person
Speaker 1: coming over occasionally is that moms sometimes. So I did
Speaker 1: put the camera because I was losing my brain. Got
Speaker 1: a tiny one from Amazon. Set it up. Waited, I
Speaker 1: love that sentence. Set it up. Waited this man my
Speaker 1: husband peeing in my overnight oats? What and my brewed coffee?
Speaker 1: Took the lid off peede put the lid back in capitals.
Speaker 2: Shook it.
Speaker 1: That is vile, and then put it back in the
Speaker 1: fridge like nothing happened. I lost it. I went full psycho.
Speaker 2: I broke his.
Speaker 1: Psbive his TV. I threw his clothes outside in the snow.
Speaker 1: I messed up his shoes. Everything that is fair.
Speaker 2: That is so fair. Also, we shouldn't even have to
Speaker 2: ask these questions. Should go get out.
Speaker 1: If it starts with wee wie, where does it end?
Speaker 2: And like people have weird fetishes? All right?
Speaker 3: I get there's a certain subcategory of human being that
Speaker 3: is into pp but like that is just disgusting doing
Speaker 3: it into someone's food thirteen twenty fourteen.
Speaker 1: Absolutely horrified by that.
Speaker 2: That is horrific.
Speaker 3: Are you currently in a relationship and wondering whether you
Speaker 3: should stay or you should go?
Speaker 1: Are you in two minds about it? Just come approach
Speaker 1: the bench.
Speaker 2: And I will help you.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show. Are you
Speaker 1: in two minds about staying or going? Give us a call,
Speaker 1: tell us what your problems are, Put them all on
Speaker 1: the table and we'll tell you. We'll tell you should
Speaker 1: just say should you go? Now?
Speaker 3: And just for sharing your relationship issue with us, we
Speaker 3: will give you a double pass to Hoits book now
Speaker 3: at hoits dot com dot au. Now, this is we
Speaker 3: launched this segment last week, Swanny, and this story you've
Speaker 3: presented is quite unbelievable.
Speaker 1: It is unbelieved. A woman started noticing that her I
Speaker 1: love her overnight oats, specifically, they've got a funny little
Speaker 1: wei taste overnight oats even without even without weigh in them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they've just got a little yeah.
Speaker 3: Which is weird because last week you revealed how much
Speaker 3: you love your carmon oats.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that's porridge. It's not an overnight ote. Okay,
Speaker 1: don't you think bursha sort of tastes a bit? Were we?
Speaker 2: I think you like the taste of wet.
Speaker 1: No, I don't, and either did this woman, because she
Speaker 1: was like, well, mom my, rolled oats taste weird. My
Speaker 1: coffee tastes wed. Now if you could taste something bad
Speaker 1: over brewed black coffee, my god. Anyway, it turns out
Speaker 1: she bought a little camera put it in the fridge. God,
Speaker 1: her friend suggested it. And wouldn't you have loved to
Speaker 1: have been a fly on the.
Speaker 2: Wall with that great tip?
Speaker 1: If O were you, I would get one of those
Speaker 1: little cameras off Amazon.
Speaker 2: You never know it'll be delivered. But it's tomorrow morning.
Speaker 1: It's almost as they do that, by the way.
Speaker 2: The next day. Yeah. Oh, it's impressive.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3: It reminds me of like you hear often stories of
Speaker 3: people putting their ex's toothbrush in the TOI ah, that.
Speaker 1: Is disgusting that I'm not a very vengeful person.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: Anyway, she put this camera in and she saw footage
Speaker 1: of her husband, not just someone she met at a bar,
Speaker 1: her husband.
Speaker 3: Jack, the fact, she's taken to Reddit to ask whether
Speaker 3: she should stay or she should go.
Speaker 2: It's quite unbelievable.
Speaker 1: To she knows what she must do.
Speaker 3: I love the top comment from Skinny Pig forty five
Speaker 3: is this is disgusting. Leave him and go to the
Speaker 3: cops and press assault charges because that's what it is.
Speaker 2: Assault.
Speaker 1: It's so bad, so dastedly creepy says, well, you do
Speaker 1: have footage for court. I'd call the Bully the Crissy
Speaker 1: Swan Show. She's getting a bit excited about Eurovision.
Speaker 2: Oh, Chrissy's click. I feel like.
Speaker 1: It's been a bit blue the last few years. I
Speaker 1: haven't been excited for a while, but I feel like
Speaker 1: the temperature is about to heat up. SBS has picked
Speaker 1: the candidate who's going to.
Speaker 2: Perform, so none of this Eurovision decides stuff.
Speaker 1: Australia to remember that it was a whole show. We
Speaker 1: would perform, you'd vote, which is like the olden days,
Speaker 1: double ow, double five.
Speaker 2: I mean that screams cost cutting. Sorry, I'm putting on
Speaker 2: a show. We'll just decide.
Speaker 1: Well, maybe Australia doesn't know how to decide, is what
Speaker 1: I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Also that I mean they screwed it up with Reggie Bird?
Speaker 2: Am I right?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 2: Right? Jokes? Crisis one was the real winner.
Speaker 1: Anyway, they have chosen a exciting and unusual act. The
Speaker 1: song he's going to be performing is called Milkshake manad.
Speaker 2: I love it. He should do a remix with Kellus.
Speaker 1: What does he mean by that? I can tell you
Speaker 1: want a taste of the Milkshake Man.
Speaker 2: Don't ask me that on it.
Speaker 1: Okay. He's a French background and I should call him
Speaker 1: by his name.
Speaker 3: Gojo if you want to look at him on Instagram.
Speaker 2: His handle is Hey, I'm go Jo, Hey, Gojo.
Speaker 1: His father is French, so he's got that downpat the
Speaker 1: whole eurobiz got it. And he's like, there are French
Speaker 1: words in the song in the Milkshake Man. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: you know he's hoping that that gets him a few votes,
Speaker 1: but as he says, you can't dictate votes, maybe they
Speaker 1: won't like milkshakes Australia.
Speaker 8: My name is Gojo and I would be representing Australia
Speaker 8: at Eurovision twenty twenty five. I would be bringing the
Speaker 8: Milkshake Man to Basil and Switzerland and I can't wait
Speaker 8: to see you there.
Speaker 1: Don imagine how horrified his father would be who is
Speaker 1: you know, I imagine quite an elegant Frenchman wee wie,
Speaker 1: and then he his son. He never would have thought
Speaker 1: growing up on the outskirts of Paris that he would
Speaker 1: have a son that sounded like that when he opened
Speaker 1: his mouth. Make him speak again, Jack, make him speak, Yes.
Speaker 2: Get Australia.
Speaker 8: My name's Gojo, and I would be representing Australia at
Speaker 8: Eurovision Australia.
Speaker 1: My name's gaijag Well.
Speaker 2: He grew up off the Greed with his family in Wa,
Speaker 2: so I wonder if his dad was there for that.
Speaker 1: I just love it so much. If you've spent any
Speaker 1: time at all on TikTok, we are just talking rubbish
Speaker 1: and you're like, I've been all over this for ages.
Speaker 1: He became famous on the tiki talkie as much I
Speaker 1: hate a friend Aaron calls it for this number.
Speaker 2: I can say she's got a talent where she.
Speaker 1: Well, I love it, missus Hollywood, that's a true talent.
Speaker 1: I'm really excited. I reckon wear a chance?
Speaker 2: Should we go over?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: Awesome?
Speaker 1: I just can I tell you like Europe is wonderful?
Speaker 1: You know that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a long way way, But man, is it
Speaker 2: worth it?
Speaker 1: I just don't think I've got it in me.
Speaker 2: No, so one, don't be like that yet, don't.
Speaker 1: Be that's it. No, I think last year that was it.
Speaker 1: I was one and done.
Speaker 3: No, absolutely not. We'll talk about this affair. We can't
Speaker 3: put a nail in your europe coffin already.
Speaker 1: Hey, guess who's on a plane. Not me, obviously, Strake.
Speaker 2: He's down here. Man, he's got.
Speaker 1: Four more shows. My mind is blown. I'm such a
Speaker 1: good girl that it would not cross my mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I had four things booked that people were counting
Speaker 1: on me to turn up to do, it would not
Speaker 1: cross my mind unless I was dead to not do it,
Speaker 1: to brazenly fly out. People are following him on flight Raider. Yes.
Speaker 3: So he took off out of Brisbane this morning after
Speaker 3: performing last night. He's got it's showing because they have
Speaker 3: to log where they're going. It's showing that his jet
Speaker 3: is going to stop in Fiji and then I believe.
Speaker 1: Why year, and then onto Canada, back.
Speaker 3: Home to Toronto. And he's still got four shows left.
Speaker 3: He's got a show in Brisbane on March four. He's
Speaker 3: then got to go to Auckland for a couple of shows.
Speaker 3: He had another Sydney show left.
Speaker 1: What does he just go now?
Speaker 2: I'm going Well, here's my theory. He went real hard
Speaker 2: right at the start of his trip.
Speaker 3: He was at Mason Bitade and he was at Crown,
Speaker 3: He went to Perth, went to Sydney.
Speaker 2: I think he's just like, I've had enough, I want
Speaker 2: to go home. What I think, hold on, we're going home.
Speaker 1: I think I think he had an inside spy in
Speaker 1: his entourage and Australian represented it. That gave him all
Speaker 1: the great places to go to in Melbourne because they're
Speaker 1: your places. Now. How much time have you spent in
Speaker 1: Brisbane to recommend anywhere for Drake to go. He's had
Speaker 1: a loss, he misses Mesombaitabe.
Speaker 2: So he's back to Toronto.
Speaker 1: This is the Chrissy swan show, Dray come on now.
Speaker 2: Champagne puppies telling fibbs.
Speaker 1: Don't lie. How can you have a clash in your
Speaker 1: schedule with something else when this has been booked.
Speaker 2: For months months.
Speaker 3: As we said before in Clickbait, swanning, he's had enough
Speaker 3: of Australia.
Speaker 2: He's seen and done everything he needs to and he
Speaker 2: has jetted off.
Speaker 1: Your nose is growing, Champagne. But show me your tongue,
Speaker 1: Show me your tongue, Champagne.
Speaker 2: How about we focus on an artist that still is
Speaker 2: in this country.
Speaker 1: Yes, what a.
Speaker 2: Man, My true love Billie Eilish.
Speaker 1: I've not heard one bad word about that woman.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's anything bad you could say about her,
Speaker 2: Oh except that bad guy is a hit.
Speaker 3: The reason we talk about her is she is talking
Speaker 3: about her. She is on Ricky, Lee, Tim and Joel
Speaker 3: this afternoon. They will be sitting down with her.
Speaker 1: So exciting? Are you green with envy?
Speaker 2: Look? I would be. I'm absolutely jealous. Yeah, but Blackers
Speaker 2: loves her equally as much as I do.
Speaker 1: True.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And he's like an OG fan, So I'm happy
Speaker 3: that he's sitting down with her.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's fair, Yeah, surprisingly kind of.
Speaker 2: Four to ten.
Speaker 3: Next, we are playing around of Chrissie's quisy If you
Speaker 3: would like a limited edition bum bag jump on the line.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show, So feel
Speaker 1: like a Winter fifteen minutes.
Speaker 3: That song does not end, and Swanny, I've just had
Speaker 3: a look. It's four minutes three seconds, But that's a
Speaker 3: radio edit so.
Speaker 1: The original would be something around the seven hundred and
Speaker 1: forty minute mass spot on Let's give away a bum bag, Chrissies, Quizzy, Hey, Emma,
Speaker 1: one of the great names.
Speaker 4: Oh, hello, so.
Speaker 2: Solid, so kind in one of the great suburbs as well.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh, I know it's very flubrious here. Do you
Speaker 1: see Jack there ever? Or his parents?
Speaker 5: No, I haven't bumped into him, and I know lots
Speaker 5: of people in the village, so yeah, maybe maybe next.
Speaker 3: Week we speak of the Mountainizer village. I don't actually
Speaker 3: live there anymore, but I visit my parents often.
Speaker 2: Emma.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The reason you don't the reason you don't see him
Speaker 1: in even though he says he lives in Frankston. Hello, Jessica, Yes,
Speaker 1: how you're going?
Speaker 5: I'm good. I'm excited but nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm good. What are you excited about? What's the best
Speaker 1: outcome for you for the next three minutes?
Speaker 5: Honestly, I just need some cheering up, and I am
Speaker 5: on school pickup and I'm waiting for the chaos. So
Speaker 5: I feel like this will get me through the next
Speaker 5: half an hour of.
Speaker 1: How old are your kids?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 5: I had three under two, so I've got the twins
Speaker 5: in grade one and my youngest is four years old,
Speaker 5: so shoos and kinder, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, and they're so tired and crank you know.
Speaker 2: All right, let's try and win one of you, ladies,
Speaker 2: this incredible crisis one show Bumba.
Speaker 1: It's kind of you. Your names are your buzzes gears,
Speaker 1: best five. First one to get to three wins the
Speaker 1: bag question, can you name Australia's Eurovision contest into this year?
Speaker 4: It's go Jo and he's thinking about milkshake.
Speaker 1: He's cute as a button.
Speaker 2: Can tell you you want to taste milk?
Speaker 1: What does that mean? I think you want a taste
Speaker 1: of the milkshake. Man, he seems to be shaking you.
Speaker 2: Never mind.
Speaker 1: Question number two. Who is the king of the gods
Speaker 1: in Greek? Emma? If it's you, it is Zeus?
Speaker 2: Two points? Question number three.
Speaker 1: I don't worry. You're getting prizesn't it?
Speaker 2: No? No? I will manage it.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I'm at scopular right to.
Speaker 1: I feel your isn't it okay?
Speaker 5: Thank you? Good luck?
Speaker 1: Hey? Can I tell you, Emma and Jestice between you
Speaker 1: and me and the fence pearl that we're on air.
Speaker 1: We're on air. That's no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: The best thing about me being on air, he said,
Speaker 1: I can't do this called pick up.
Speaker 2: Question number three.
Speaker 1: Nine years ago today, Fifth Harmony released this bop. What
Speaker 1: is that.
Speaker 4: Emma called work?
Speaker 1: Let's call work from home? Which is some sort of
Speaker 1: mystic chrissy moment for them because that was before COVID
Speaker 1: and nobody knew what work from home?
Speaker 6: Men?
Speaker 2: Alrighty, no one gets that. Question number four.
Speaker 1: Jax just cracked it with me. How many wives did
Speaker 1: King Henry the eighth Pa? Yes, Emma, no, Jess, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Just have a crack.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 2: Five?
Speaker 1: Which pop star are rigally? Tomdel Yes?
Speaker 2: Correct, she's on the scoreboard one point to two to Emma.
Speaker 2: Question number six, what is.
Speaker 1: The national animal of Canada? Emma Jess one bite Emma
Speaker 1: Canda No, I don't want to lie. No, they both
Speaker 1: look like a beaver.
Speaker 2: It's a beaver.
Speaker 1: Close so close.
Speaker 2: Question number seven for the win, Where.
Speaker 1: Does rain come from?
Speaker 7: GM?
Speaker 2: Jet? Yes?
Speaker 1: Cloud? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Question number eight for the win for either of you?
Speaker 1: Which battery size is smaller, double A or triple A?
Speaker 5: Yes, triple A?
Speaker 1: Correct? Wow?
Speaker 2: Far out? She really stole that.
Speaker 7: I heard it right?
Speaker 1: Okay, please give them both.
Speaker 2: Because we can't be giving. We can't be giving away ladies.
Speaker 2: If you don't shut up, you'll get nothing. Okay, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: what we're going to do here. It's even better. Jess
Speaker 2: is winning the bum bag, but you are both winning
Speaker 2: a double pass to Holts to enjoy bigger screens, better sound,
Speaker 2: and comfy your seats. Book now at hois dot com
Speaker 2: dot you and you also both get a Baker's Delight voucher.
Speaker 2: How did that say?
Speaker 1: That's good? That's good? Yes, yeah, that was in Sick.
Speaker 2: Thank you, ladies. You were both brilliant.
Speaker 1: How powerful do you feel, Jack? You feel very powerful.
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted the Crazy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. If you think you're tired, you got
Speaker 1: to shush. You gotta shush, shush, shush, because Nicole Kidman
Speaker 1: is working and has worked like a maniac for so long.
Speaker 1: Remember we first sort of got Winter, but we were like,
Speaker 1: hang on, is that another Nicole Kidman film?
Speaker 3: I think it was about halfway through last year, they're
Speaker 3: like the third Nicole Kidman film was announced and we
Speaker 3: were like, wait.
Speaker 2: How are they doing this? How is she doing this? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And it's like, alwa is that the one about the
Speaker 1: you know, crazy woman. No, it's the one about the
Speaker 1: religious woman. It was just one after the other, and
Speaker 1: people also were tweaking. She was going on you know
Speaker 1: tonight shows, and they're like, how do you do it?
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, I'm doing it because you know,
Speaker 1: if I don't, then the movies don't get up, which
Speaker 1: I thought was a valid excuse.
Speaker 3: That's a good excuse that someone's fed her. Though, You're
Speaker 3: doing it because life's expensive.
Speaker 1: Surely no one wants to work that much.
Speaker 2: She's got a lot of kids, though she doesn't how
Speaker 2: many does she have? Two? It's a lot.
Speaker 1: Oh no, she's got those other two. But aren't they
Speaker 1: the older ones, the cruise ones? But aren't they as strange?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: She's still got to pay for the most.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say so anyway, we were right. Twenty seventeen,
Speaker 1: she made five films. Five Now, I just I remember
Speaker 1: I always thought that movies take like nine months to make.
Speaker 2: Obviously, not swany. Let me just rewind back to that comment.
Speaker 3: Okay, five films in twenty seven she made Yeah, guess
Speaker 3: what else came out in twenty seventeen, A full season.
Speaker 2: Of Big Little Lies, Come on, that's five films and
Speaker 2: a full television.
Speaker 1: She's been cloned.
Speaker 3: And then last year in twenty twenty four, three films,
Speaker 3: A Family Affair, Baby Girl, and Spellbound. But that's just movies.
Speaker 3: We haven't even looked at the TV shows. She also
Speaker 3: did The Perfect Couple and Expats two TV series, and she's.
Speaker 1: Got a brand new one that's been released now. It's
Speaker 1: only February. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It's called Holland, Good Holland.
Speaker 1: It does look very good.
Speaker 2: It's on Prime this one Prime video. Should we listen
Speaker 2: to the trailer?
Speaker 1: Trailer? Every day? I get to wake up in the
Speaker 1: best place on earth, Harland, Michigan. I look around myself
Speaker 1: and it feels like a dream. It's just perfect.
Speaker 2: Now it's important to me announci you feel safe here?
Speaker 2: It was really super innate. Now, did you do something different?
Speaker 1: Braw Mustard and steady Yellow? I felt like doing something
Speaker 1: a little crazy.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Hey, that's a different accent.
Speaker 1: That last bit was not. She gets to have whatever
Speaker 1: she can do. But that sounds different. That does sound different.
Speaker 3: There's a rule in her contract where the director isn't
Speaker 3: allowed to give notes about her accent.
Speaker 2: Because in that is it the perfect couple.
Speaker 3: She went in and out of an American Australian accent,
Speaker 3: so obviously, and it was clearly never like that note
Speaker 3: was never given.
Speaker 1: Have we noticed that as well in the Hugh Grant one,
Speaker 1: that we were really into that murdering New York in
Speaker 1: New York. That was fantastic. Yeah, we enjoyed that. I mean,
Speaker 1: listen to us, you know, throwing throwing stones a stuck
Speaker 1: old kidman's accent, as if we could do any better.
Speaker 2: The undoing, the undoing, that was good.
Speaker 1: It was riveting, but in a really basic way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thirteen twenty four to ten. We want to know,
Speaker 3: do you think you work harder or work more than
Speaker 3: Nicole Kidman? Like maybe you do a morning shift at
Speaker 3: the bakery, and then you work at the supermarket all day,
Speaker 3: and then on the weekends you work at your local pool.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I just don't think anyone in the known universe
Speaker 1: works harder than NICOLEI.
Speaker 2: Thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 3: Just for sharing us your work schedule will give you
Speaker 3: a Baker's Delight voucher.
Speaker 1: Us the Chrissy Swan Show. You know you've heard the
Speaker 1: saying what is it The devil works hard, but Chris
Speaker 1: Jenna works harder. I'm changing that the devil works hard.
Speaker 2: But Nicole Cole Kidman works harder.
Speaker 1: We have just gotten used to her movie Baby Girl being.
Speaker 2: Released so fantastic and super towey. Really yeah, like pick wisely,
Speaker 2: who you go to the cinema with to watch it?
Speaker 2: Is what I'm told?
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, you don't go with your dad. No, that's
Speaker 1: the worst moment of anyone's life. Yeah, when things are
Speaker 1: getting creepy on the on the screen. Anyway, we are
Speaker 1: got over that. And now there's a new one. It's
Speaker 1: called Holland. She talks about mustard. She sounds weird.
Speaker 2: Great recap. Put that on Rotten Tomatoes.
Speaker 1: Her fourth film, you know, within a twelve month period.
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's just movies. That's or even TV shows
Speaker 3: because she also dabbles in TV.
Speaker 1: She made five. And these are not bit rolls. These
Speaker 1: are not just like walk on say hello. She's carrying
Speaker 1: these films.
Speaker 2: Isn't she. I mean her accent stop, but she's her house.
Speaker 2: I love Nicole Kibben so much so I take back
Speaker 2: that little bit of shade.
Speaker 3: But thirteen twenty four to ten we're asking do you
Speaker 3: work harder than Nicole Kidman?
Speaker 2: Like? Is your daily schedule nuts?
Speaker 1: I just can't imagine. Hello Sarah, Hello, how are you guys?
Speaker 1: What does your day look like?
Speaker 4: Well, I'll run you through an example which I had
Speaker 4: on Mondays. So I work up and I do my
Speaker 4: boring sales job during the day eight hours, and then
Speaker 4: I headed off to my fung job, which is hairdressing.
Speaker 4: So that was an eight a m. Til ten pm
Speaker 4: to day. I'm going to also have a toddler, I
Speaker 4: have three pets, and I have a husband. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: it's a lot.
Speaker 1: When do you Are you only ever alone in the car?
Speaker 4: Yes? And I turn the radio up very loud, and
Speaker 4: I've seen the highway.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you?
Speaker 1: Can I tell you carve out a bit more time
Speaker 1: than that, because you're going insane. Take it from me. Eventually,
Speaker 1: If your only alone time is in the car to
Speaker 1: and from work, schoole.
Speaker 4: Well, I actually work at home, so I don't even
Speaker 4: get the car rid.
Speaker 2: Oh Sarah, Oh that is grim, Sarah.
Speaker 3: But I'll tell you what the shop A Baker's Delight voucher,
Speaker 3: my friend, it's on its way to love bakers.
Speaker 1: I would cure for a savory role right now.
Speaker 2: I know we've got no Baker's products here at the moment,
Speaker 2: and it makes me really sad.
Speaker 1: Hello Mary, Hello Mary, Mary, Mary, Hi Mary, Hi?
Speaker 6: How are you so good?
Speaker 1: What a gorgeous name? Tell me? Are you busier than
Speaker 1: Nicole Kitchen?
Speaker 2: I think so?
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm a single mom to three teenagers, and I
Speaker 6: run three businesses of my own, and I also subcontract
Speaker 6: to another company.
Speaker 1: What are the businesses?
Speaker 6: Okay, I've got a chauffeur in company.
Speaker 1: Yeah, every mom's got one of them. Am I.
Speaker 2: Stay around?
Speaker 6: But also I do owning as a side hostal and
Speaker 6: I also run an Airbnb And on top of all that,
Speaker 6: I've got after sole activity for kids and you know,
Speaker 6: driving to them from school and whatnot o seven days
Speaker 6: a week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So do you see your friends?
Speaker 6: Very really?
Speaker 1: Oh Mary, this is really sad. What's the point?
Speaker 2: Do you ever find yourself asking what's the point? Yes?
Speaker 6: I do, yes, But then I look at my three
Speaker 6: kids and I do it for them.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And how teen are they?
Speaker 2: Mare?
Speaker 4: Ah?
Speaker 6: Sixteen, fourteen and eleven?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, same as mine?
Speaker 6: Here there you go, and I got three girls. It's
Speaker 6: kid Yeah, but.
Speaker 1: You know now I hear you. I'm in this. I
Speaker 1: reckon that is a sort of little known pocket single
Speaker 1: mum and that that age group of kids you literally
Speaker 1: do nothing but work and provide for them, try and
Speaker 1: teach them how to live.
Speaker 3: Mary Baker's Delight voucher for you. Let's finish with Russell. Russell,
Speaker 3: do you think you've give Nicola run for her money?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 2: For sure?
Speaker 7: Hey going guys, good Russ What do I love you?
Speaker 7: I've been meaning to call in for ages, but I
Speaker 7: never get a chance I get to talk to you. Brother.
Speaker 1: You don't sound old enough for us.
Speaker 7: I'm thirty four, I have three jobs and three little kids.
Speaker 2: Run us through the three jobs, Russell.
Speaker 7: I'm a chef for the daycare Monday to Friday seven
Speaker 7: two or three, and I'll delivered pizzas three nights a
Speaker 7: week and then also work at the local pub on
Speaker 7: Friday Saturday nights.
Speaker 1: So Russell, you you make the food that the kids
Speaker 1: at daycare will eat there and nowhere else, right, So
Speaker 1: you're like a wizard.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well thanks, I've been a couple of weeks now
Speaker 7: and the kids are loving the food.
Speaker 1: When you cook that food for your kids, do they
Speaker 1: eat it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, my kids are pretty good. We usually all cook
Speaker 7: together and then they like to eat what we cook.
Speaker 8: So yeah, the Chrissy Swan.
Speaker 1: Show, well, that song feels like it's from a very
Speaker 1: long time ago. You're listening to the Christy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: The reason I say that is because we're going here
Speaker 1: Chrissy's clique fait red alert emergency. What Justin Bieber is
Speaker 1: not well? Some footage appeared not that long ago and
Speaker 1: it's still up. You reckon it's because he's on a plane.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, I mean I think the footage is fun,
Speaker 3: but I could see in the footage.
Speaker 1: You think it's fun.
Speaker 2: Well, like he seems like he's having a good time.
Speaker 2: He doesn't seem unwell in the footage, Jack, No, look
Speaker 2: he's not. Like go to his Instagram that Justin Bieber.
Speaker 2: I shared it to my story because it.
Speaker 1: Makes I arrived at a party or a house and
Speaker 1: you were in the kitchen with someone I didn't know
Speaker 1: doing this.
Speaker 2: Happens most weekends.
Speaker 1: I would drag you out by your clickable T shirt
Speaker 1: ha ha, and of call your mother like a bike,
Speaker 1: like a.
Speaker 2: He's dabbling in a bit of wrap.
Speaker 1: Well that sounds fine, but we've seen the visual his eyes,
Speaker 1: he looks like the scream that that piece of art
Speaker 1: by Edvard Munch.
Speaker 2: You know, he looks he looks like he's been hanging
Speaker 2: out with Snoop Dogg. Let's just think.
Speaker 1: About eyes look like the two eggs that I cracked
Speaker 1: in a bowl for my son this morning. Just glossy staring.
Speaker 2: Up at me.
Speaker 7: Like a magpie, like a bad guy.
Speaker 2: That guy he flies high like a magpie.
Speaker 1: Do you reckon he's that's a Billie Eilish thing. May
Speaker 1: apparently that the magpie that has a face of a
Speaker 1: seagull inside it was a Billie Eilish thing. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: she said at one of her shows, I think, and
Speaker 1: then that the second one, the second line of that
Speaker 1: stupid drug addled song also references Billie Eilish like a magpie,
Speaker 1: like a bad guy. There you go, Maybe he did.
Speaker 2: He did feature on bad guy guy.
Speaker 1: God. I really, I really wish she would check himself
Speaker 1: into someone, clean up his act. Something really sad there.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about Zoe Cravats queen now Lenny Kraviats.
Speaker 1: I'm old enough to know her father, and he is magic.
Speaker 1: Have you done a deep dive? Into Lenny Kravitz's music, like.
Speaker 2: Properly, he would really like it. I think.
Speaker 1: Okay, So he had a daughter with Lisa Bonne from
Speaker 1: The Cosby Show and that is the result. I know,
Speaker 1: the most brilliant. She's such a great actress. She went
Speaker 1: out with Channing Tatum for a while.
Speaker 3: We were talking about Nicole Kidman earlier. I fell in
Speaker 3: love with Zoe on Big Little Lies.
Speaker 2: That's when I first her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was great in that she was She's like
Speaker 1: a I don't know, she's a kinetic energy.
Speaker 2: She's a full vibe.
Speaker 1: Anyway, she sat down with El magazine and talked about
Speaker 1: the end of her relationship with Channing Tatum. I just
Speaker 1: never thought they looked right together.
Speaker 3: You did always say it, whereas I'm the complete opposite.
Speaker 3: I remember seeing the pat peaks of them riding their
Speaker 3: bikes through New York City and I was like, what
Speaker 3: an iconic cool couple like love them?
Speaker 1: That is a very cool thing to do. But what
Speaker 1: is the term when a woman leaves a man and
Speaker 1: she just it's not a glow up?
Speaker 2: Is it? What is it?
Speaker 1: It's it should be a specific thing, No, because you
Speaker 1: can have a glow up anytime you don't have to
Speaker 1: be newly single revenge like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go glow up a breakup.
Speaker 1: Glow up sometimes, in fact, most of the time, women
Speaker 1: just they just look magnificent a relationship. There's nothing to
Speaker 1: do with the man. It's you know, I'm not being
Speaker 1: mean here, but look at her.
Speaker 2: She's been reborn. But what did she say about him?
Speaker 1: She said it was grateful. She's grateful for him.
Speaker 2: You didn't even want to read the main part of
Speaker 2: the story because he was nice about it. Read the quote,
Speaker 2: it's lovely.
Speaker 1: I love this thing that we made together and I
Speaker 1: care for him very much. I just feel so grateful
Speaker 1: that we got to go on that journey together. When
Speaker 1: she win Australian Idol says, he has so much more
Speaker 1: coming and I think he's in a place as an
Speaker 1: actor where he's feeling really confident and people are seeing
Speaker 1: different sides of him.
Speaker 2: Beautiful. Hopefully they get back together. I love them. I
Speaker 2: love Billy eilish more and coming up on Ricky leat
Speaker 2: Tim and Joel next they are sitting down with her.
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to hear this same.
Speaker 2: I've also had a sneak peek at the log and
Speaker 2: there's a lot of Billy.
Speaker 1: Eilish fantastic log I wonder if the consummate professional and
Speaker 1: radio god Tim Blackwell will actually have a few rough
Speaker 1: feathers over Billy Eilish.
Speaker 2: Let's see.
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more great
Speaker 1: comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com. Dore
Speaker 1: you