1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome to the Sheep Risers Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:16,881 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment. 3 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 4 00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,761 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. 9 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:34,961 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to a Wednesday episode. Today, we 10 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: are talking about something that happened to me last month. 11 00:00:38,241 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: The month before I haven't spoken about it much online, 12 00:00:40,921 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: but I had a bit of a pregnancy scare and 13 00:00:44,001 --> 00:00:46,841 Speaker 1: it was such an emotional rollercoaster because in my head 14 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,121 Speaker 1: I was completely done having children. Of course, there's that 15 00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: tiny bit in me that every now and again I'm like, oh, 16 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: we'll three, be nice. Maybe I could. And then I 17 00:00:55,961 --> 00:00:58,001 Speaker 1: have a hard day with the kids, I'm like absolutely 18 00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,801 Speaker 1: not two is good? Or like when they're both upset 19 00:01:00,881 --> 00:01:03,241 Speaker 1: or emotional, going through something or fighting, see you, We'll 20 00:01:03,241 --> 00:01:05,241 Speaker 1: take one, I'll take the other. I'm like, imagine having three, 21 00:01:05,281 --> 00:01:08,041 Speaker 1: you're fully outnumbered. Yeah, Like, no, two's good. I got 22 00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:09,761 Speaker 1: a girl and a boy. They're both healthy and happy. 23 00:01:10,881 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: I've been begging Steve to get the snip for so 24 00:01:13,801 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: long and he's like he's genuinely scared to get it done. Anyways, 25 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,761 Speaker 1: I was two weeks late for my period, which is 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,161 Speaker 1: very odd for me. I'm pretty regular, and I just 27 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,081 Speaker 1: kept saying to Steve, Babe, my period's still not here. 28 00:01:26,121 --> 00:01:28,521 Speaker 1: My periods still not here. And then one night we 29 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: were just sitting on the bed and he was like, oh, 30 00:01:31,681 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: if you were pregnant, like, how would that make you feel? 31 00:01:34,481 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: Would it be a girl, would it be a boy? 32 00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not sure. What would you want 33 00:01:38,521 --> 00:01:40,121 Speaker 1: in Taj? Would they with us? And Taj like I 34 00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: want a brother. I was like, oh, I think I 35 00:01:42,521 --> 00:01:44,681 Speaker 1: want another boy. I don't know, I don't care. I 36 00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:46,321 Speaker 1: was like, I've already got the name. He's like, that's right, 37 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,561 Speaker 1: You've got your name. And the name that I was 38 00:01:48,601 --> 00:01:51,161 Speaker 1: going to call Tala is like a unisex name. So said, 39 00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:52,881 Speaker 1: if we ever have a third that would be the name. 40 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,401 Speaker 1: I love this name so much and I've never met 41 00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:56,201 Speaker 1: anyone with the name. 42 00:01:56,361 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 43 00:01:56,801 --> 00:01:59,681 Speaker 1: So we started to get excited and then I was like, oh, Taji, 44 00:01:59,721 --> 00:02:01,041 Speaker 1: did you feel like if we had another one and 45 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,961 Speaker 1: you would like feel left out, because I always thought 46 00:02:02,961 --> 00:02:05,001 Speaker 1: he would feel left out. You are And he was like, no, 47 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:07,601 Speaker 1: he's like I don't really want any more siblings, but 48 00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:10,601 Speaker 1: I love the honesty. Yeah, He's like, I don't think 49 00:02:10,601 --> 00:02:12,961 Speaker 1: i'd feel left out. So he was all good. And 50 00:02:12,961 --> 00:02:15,441 Speaker 1: then I just saw Steve's face light up, like he 51 00:02:15,441 --> 00:02:17,721 Speaker 1: started to get excited about it, and I was like, 52 00:02:18,361 --> 00:02:20,321 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, maybe this would be really nice, like 53 00:02:20,361 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: maybe it's meant to be. And then the other half 54 00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:24,241 Speaker 1: of me was like, no, you don't want this, Like 55 00:02:24,281 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: you're really content, you're happy, you love your life, you're 56 00:02:27,401 --> 00:02:28,881 Speaker 1: proud of the way you show up. Was a mom, 57 00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:31,081 Speaker 1: I think three would like tip me over there. I 58 00:02:31,121 --> 00:02:33,921 Speaker 1: would just it'd be hard to be as patient and 59 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,921 Speaker 1: have as much time and energy as what I want 60 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,401 Speaker 1: to be able to give my kids. I feel like 61 00:02:38,441 --> 00:02:41,361 Speaker 1: three would really stretch me in a way that then 62 00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: I couldn't give them what I wanted to give them, 63 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,161 Speaker 1: you know. So I was just this massive emotional rollercoaster 64 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 1: and I was just taking the jay as it come, 65 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,121 Speaker 1: seeing if my period came. And then after the two 66 00:02:50,161 --> 00:02:52,241 Speaker 1: week mark and having these conversations, we all went out 67 00:02:52,281 --> 00:02:54,481 Speaker 1: to the loud room. I was like, no, I can't 68 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,281 Speaker 1: wait me long. I'm gonna get a test, just like 69 00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:59,201 Speaker 1: ease my own mind. So I ordered it on uber 70 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:03,721 Speaker 1: like order me telling me. And then it arrived and 71 00:03:03,921 --> 00:03:05,961 Speaker 1: I called Steven to the bath him and I was like, look, 72 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,121 Speaker 1: I just want to do this test. And he pulled 73 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,641 Speaker 1: me onto his lap and he looked in the eyes 74 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,441 Speaker 1: and grabbed my face and he was just like, babe, 75 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,521 Speaker 1: if this comes back as yes, we've got this, like 76 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,641 Speaker 1: don't stress. I've got you, We've got each other. We'll 77 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,081 Speaker 1: make it work. We love our kids. This is what 78 00:03:20,121 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: we live for. There are everything like this is what 79 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,721 Speaker 1: it's all about. It's all about family. Nothing else matters. 80 00:03:24,761 --> 00:03:26,921 Speaker 1: So if it does come back, like try not to 81 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,961 Speaker 1: freak out, because I was starting to freak out. He's like, 82 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,641 Speaker 1: We've got this and we'll work it out. It's like okay, 83 00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:35,361 Speaker 1: maybe just like take a breath. And we did the 84 00:03:35,401 --> 00:03:37,961 Speaker 1: test and I was just like sitting there anxiously waiting, 85 00:03:38,041 --> 00:03:40,801 Speaker 1: like pacing up and down the bathroom, and then I 86 00:03:40,841 --> 00:03:43,081 Speaker 1: like filmed it just in case it was. Of course, 87 00:03:43,321 --> 00:03:46,401 Speaker 1: I did two, two different brands, so I flipped one 88 00:03:46,401 --> 00:03:48,681 Speaker 1: over for the other and we both like three two one, 89 00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:50,641 Speaker 1: and we looked at it and it said not pregnant. 90 00:03:51,521 --> 00:03:54,801 Speaker 1: And I thought I would be like, yes, so relieved, 91 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,281 Speaker 1: like oh, right off my shoulders, I have to worry 92 00:03:57,281 --> 00:04:01,561 Speaker 1: about it anymore. And I felt sad. It was so strange, 93 00:04:02,121 --> 00:04:04,721 Speaker 1: and Steve's almost like his shoulders dropped, like he was 94 00:04:04,721 --> 00:04:08,761 Speaker 1: almost like, ah, okay, I could see this like sadness 95 00:04:08,761 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: in him. He's like it was like fun to talk 96 00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:13,961 Speaker 1: about and explore and we would make it work and 97 00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:17,201 Speaker 1: we're a great team now. So yeah, it's really really 98 00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:21,121 Speaker 1: strange to have all these emotions like coexisting around me. 99 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:21,681 Speaker 2: Yeah. 100 00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: And then right before we did the test, I felt 101 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,801 Speaker 1: anger come up that Steve hadn't got the phasectomy done 102 00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:31,001 Speaker 1: because I was like, if we are pregnant and I 103 00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:32,601 Speaker 1: don't want to be pregnant and I don't want a 104 00:04:32,641 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: third child, you're putting me in a position where I 105 00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:37,681 Speaker 1: have to choose what I do with this, and I 106 00:04:37,721 --> 00:04:41,521 Speaker 1: don't think I could go through with a termination. Yes, yeah, 107 00:04:41,601 --> 00:04:44,081 Speaker 1: I just don't think I could at this age, having 108 00:04:44,081 --> 00:04:46,361 Speaker 1: my two kids there. I just don't think I could. Now, 109 00:04:46,961 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: I just said to my I'm feeling really annoyed that 110 00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:50,681 Speaker 1: you haven't gone and got this done and goes, yeah, 111 00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: I can understand why. Now he's like watching you go 112 00:04:53,121 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: through these emotions and I'm going through this like I 113 00:04:54,921 --> 00:04:57,281 Speaker 1: can't get it now. Yeahs before it was like, you know, 114 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,921 Speaker 1: we've never accidentally fallen pregnant, and our whole seventeen years 115 00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: being together, the only two times we've gotten pregnant is 116 00:05:02,241 --> 00:05:04,561 Speaker 1: when we've tried. Yeah, so he's kind of just been 117 00:05:04,601 --> 00:05:06,361 Speaker 1: a bit nigh to think it wouldn't happen to us. 118 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: So that came up for me and I was like 119 00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:12,041 Speaker 1: trying to process those emotions and then yeah, when it 120 00:05:12,081 --> 00:05:14,841 Speaker 1: was no, I was like disappointed and sad and relieved. 121 00:05:14,921 --> 00:05:16,681 Speaker 1: And then he was like, do you want me to 122 00:05:16,681 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: book the snip in? I was like, yes, yeah, absolutely, 123 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,361 Speaker 1: I don't want us to go. I have to go 124 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:26,201 Speaker 1: through this again, this emotional rollercoaster of questioning everything, whereas 125 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:28,561 Speaker 1: take emotions out of it. When we're logical and when 126 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: we're like in a good place, we both are like, 127 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: we're so happy with two. Yeah, that's our decision. 128 00:05:33,521 --> 00:05:33,721 Speaker 2: Yeah. 129 00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:36,161 Speaker 1: Yes, we fantasize about it sometimes and talk about it 130 00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:38,921 Speaker 1: sometimes having a third. But if I'm being truly honest 131 00:05:38,961 --> 00:05:41,361 Speaker 1: with myself. I'm really happy with two, and if we 132 00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,001 Speaker 1: were younger, I would absolutely go for a third. Yeah, 133 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:45,561 Speaker 1: but I'm turning thirty seven at the end of the 134 00:05:45,641 --> 00:05:47,481 Speaker 1: year and I'm still fine to have another baby. But 135 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:51,281 Speaker 1: Steve's turning forty six. Yeah, he's getting up there. He's 136 00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:54,481 Speaker 1: getting up there. I'm like, you nearly fifty, baby, the 137 00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:57,681 Speaker 1: sperm agats lower. Well, we've got sperm frozen. So that's fine. 138 00:05:57,721 --> 00:05:58,121 Speaker 2: I'm good. 139 00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:00,481 Speaker 1: But it's not the point. It's just like we want 140 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:02,081 Speaker 1: to travel with our kids, and ste wants to be 141 00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: around for his kids. We both did grow up with 142 00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:05,961 Speaker 1: like our dads, Like I want to be around for 143 00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:07,921 Speaker 1: my kids, for their weddings and for their big moments, 144 00:06:07,961 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: you know. So he's booked in Dune twelfth. 145 00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:14,481 Speaker 2: Oh my god, eleven forty that's certain love. 146 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:15,681 Speaker 1: I said from the other day. I was like, do 147 00:06:15,801 --> 00:06:18,721 Speaker 1: we come with you? He's like, oh, yes, no, I 148 00:06:18,801 --> 00:06:20,721 Speaker 1: think so, I was like, do you want support? It's like, 149 00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:22,121 Speaker 1: I just don't want to be a big deal. It's 150 00:06:22,121 --> 00:06:24,001 Speaker 1: like get it done, get back to work, Like yes, 151 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,681 Speaker 1: So I just want to get it done. I'm scared. 152 00:06:25,721 --> 00:06:28,121 Speaker 1: I'm just like yeah. So he's booked in He's going 153 00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:29,361 Speaker 1: to get it done and that's that. 154 00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:32,881 Speaker 2: Well, Yeah, I feel like that would have been really hard, 155 00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:35,561 Speaker 2: like going through that wave of emotion, especially when you 156 00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:38,921 Speaker 2: did feel so certain about not wanting more children, and 157 00:06:38,961 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 2: then having the opportunity arise where it presents itself of 158 00:06:42,241 --> 00:06:44,841 Speaker 2: like this could actually be a possibility. And I can 159 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 2: see why that anger would have come up as well 160 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:49,401 Speaker 2: around being angry that it hadn't already booked it, because 161 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,001 Speaker 2: it does. It puts you in a position where you 162 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:54,361 Speaker 2: have to make a really big decision around whether you're 163 00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 2: going to one have another child or get a termination, 164 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 2: and both ways come with pros and cons. 165 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,841 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so much so. And it's just so 166 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:04,921 Speaker 1: much on the woman's body. Like if I was a dad, 167 00:07:05,201 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: I would want ten Yeah, Like are you kidding me? 168 00:07:07,721 --> 00:07:09,641 Speaker 1: These little mini he's running around. Yeah. And don't get 169 00:07:09,681 --> 00:07:11,841 Speaker 1: me wrong, I'm so grateful that I could carry my 170 00:07:11,921 --> 00:07:14,001 Speaker 1: children and breastfeed and I would not change out for 171 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,681 Speaker 1: the world. And I'm so grateful to be a woman 172 00:07:16,961 --> 00:07:19,561 Speaker 1: that I get to experience all of that. But like, 173 00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:23,041 Speaker 1: it's so much on your body. It's trying to get pregnant, 174 00:07:23,041 --> 00:07:26,841 Speaker 1: it's all the hormones. It's the pregnancy, even through pregnancy, 175 00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:29,401 Speaker 1: like I barely could sleep from the restless leg syndrome, 176 00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:32,881 Speaker 1: all the symptoms women get, the sickness, it's giving birth, 177 00:07:32,961 --> 00:07:37,641 Speaker 1: it's breastfeeding, it's repairing internally and externally. Then going through 178 00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,961 Speaker 1: the process of like finding yourself again and getting back 179 00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:44,281 Speaker 1: in touch with your sexuality and your body changes and stretches, 180 00:07:44,401 --> 00:07:47,201 Speaker 1: and there's just it's a lot because the man's life 181 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:50,001 Speaker 1: kind of just like stays the same, you know, and 182 00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:53,321 Speaker 1: they support and they provide and he's such a great 183 00:07:53,321 --> 00:07:55,281 Speaker 1: team player and all that stuff, but it's still just 184 00:07:55,401 --> 00:08:00,041 Speaker 1: so different. Yeah, you know, so, Yeah, it was interesting. 185 00:08:00,121 --> 00:08:02,801 Speaker 2: How is that moment for you, Like when you guys 186 00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:05,681 Speaker 2: had that moment where you flip the pregnancy tests over 187 00:08:06,401 --> 00:08:08,881 Speaker 2: and you notice all of those emotions come up. Can 188 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,521 Speaker 2: you walk us through like the different phases and different 189 00:08:11,521 --> 00:08:13,681 Speaker 2: emotions that came up. Immediately after that. 190 00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:17,281 Speaker 1: My heart was absolutely racing. I was sweating, it was 191 00:08:17,321 --> 00:08:19,641 Speaker 1: beating so fast. I was so anxious, but I couldn't 192 00:08:19,681 --> 00:08:23,121 Speaker 1: quite pinpoint what I really wanted in that moment. Part 193 00:08:23,121 --> 00:08:25,521 Speaker 1: of me wanted it to be positive, yeah, and then 194 00:08:25,521 --> 00:08:27,561 Speaker 1: part of me was like, oh my gosh, no, Like, 195 00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:29,721 Speaker 1: I'm not ready for that. I don't want that. It 196 00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:32,521 Speaker 1: was just this emotional rollercoaster. But I don't want to 197 00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:34,521 Speaker 1: go through that again. Yeah, that was a lot. It 198 00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:36,921 Speaker 1: took up a lot of emotional capacity. Even every day 199 00:08:36,921 --> 00:08:39,281 Speaker 1: that I was late. Yeah, it was just consuming me 200 00:08:39,321 --> 00:08:41,321 Speaker 1: and I was just stressing about it and thinking about it. 201 00:08:42,641 --> 00:08:46,281 Speaker 2: So, yeah, she takes up emotional bandwidth, doesn't it. 202 00:08:46,281 --> 00:08:49,121 Speaker 1: It really does. So I'm relieved it's done. I'm relieved 203 00:08:49,121 --> 00:08:50,601 Speaker 1: he's getting a snap and we don't have to worry 204 00:08:50,641 --> 00:08:53,161 Speaker 1: about it. I'm content with my two kids. I'm so happy, 205 00:08:53,521 --> 00:08:56,961 Speaker 1: so grateful, and I'm excited for our future with them. 206 00:08:57,361 --> 00:09:00,561 Speaker 1: But I'm sure so many women experience this. Yeah, and 207 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,361 Speaker 1: so many women want they meant to get the snip. 208 00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:06,121 Speaker 1: Book it in boys, I gh birth. We can give 209 00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:08,121 Speaker 1: birth and go through it. We go through you can 210 00:09:08,121 --> 00:09:08,801 Speaker 1: go get a snip. 211 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:10,921 Speaker 2: You're going to be so fun. 212 00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:12,881 Speaker 1: And Steve was like that after, He's like, oh, this 213 00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,881 Speaker 1: compared to what you girls have to go through, Like, 214 00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:16,241 Speaker 1: I just need to go and get it done. And 215 00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:17,681 Speaker 1: he booked it the next day. That's good. 216 00:09:18,321 --> 00:09:20,441 Speaker 2: Do you think there's ever a possibility of maybe you 217 00:09:20,521 --> 00:09:23,041 Speaker 2: wanting kids, even after Steve gets a snip. 218 00:09:22,881 --> 00:09:25,961 Speaker 1: Possibly and we have sperm frozen. He froze it a 219 00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:27,601 Speaker 1: couple of years ago because he knew he was getting 220 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,201 Speaker 1: older anyway, and he goes, I just wouldn't want to 221 00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:32,521 Speaker 1: get to older and my sperm shit. And then you 222 00:09:32,561 --> 00:09:34,481 Speaker 1: decide you want another kid, because he said to me, 223 00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:36,321 Speaker 1: I would always go with what you want to go 224 00:09:36,361 --> 00:09:38,401 Speaker 1: with if you decide you want another kid, if you 225 00:09:38,441 --> 00:09:40,161 Speaker 1: want five more kids, I will do whatever you want 226 00:09:40,161 --> 00:09:42,921 Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, I would fully support that and make 227 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:45,921 Speaker 1: it work and we'll figure it out. So he did 228 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,601 Speaker 1: freeze sperm for that reason. So if I ever wanted to, 229 00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:52,801 Speaker 1: I can, but I don't think I will. Really excited 230 00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,681 Speaker 1: that my kids are getting a bit older, even taler. 231 00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:56,961 Speaker 1: I feel like, once I hit like four, traveling with 232 00:09:56,961 --> 00:09:58,521 Speaker 1: them so much fun. And they're just a little best 233 00:09:58,521 --> 00:10:01,601 Speaker 1: friend that understands so much. You're having conversations, just a 234 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,161 Speaker 1: whole different era each age they get to and when 235 00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:06,761 Speaker 1: they get older. So I'm really excited for it. Yeah. 236 00:10:06,761 --> 00:10:09,361 Speaker 2: So do you feel like one hundred and ten percent 237 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,681 Speaker 2: like I don't want anymore? 238 00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:14,561 Speaker 1: I feel eighty five percent. Yeah, Okay, they're pretty up there. Yeah, 239 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,681 Speaker 1: pretty certain. Yeah. I got big goals for the podcast, 240 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:19,841 Speaker 1: big goals for what we're doing, and lots of travel 241 00:10:19,841 --> 00:10:22,361 Speaker 1: plans we want to take the kids on. So that's 242 00:10:22,441 --> 00:10:25,241 Speaker 1: more yeah, yeah, way more yes for me. 243 00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:27,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, otherwise you'd be standing on stage with the big 244 00:10:27,481 --> 00:10:28,041 Speaker 2: pregnant belly. 245 00:10:28,121 --> 00:10:28,321 Speaker 1: Yeah. 246 00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:32,721 Speaker 2: Actually, what do you think that you would do after, like, 247 00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,881 Speaker 2: let's say you did Let's say that they're fifteen percent 248 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,241 Speaker 2: of you potentially wanting more children. What do you think 249 00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,521 Speaker 2: your options would be? Like? What would you explore. 250 00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:42,721 Speaker 1: If I think you can get that sperm put inside you? Yeah, 251 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:45,961 Speaker 1: around your ovulation. But I've also had a girlfriend recently 252 00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:49,201 Speaker 1: who her partner had a previous relationship and he got 253 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:52,001 Speaker 1: the snip, and now they've gone on to have two kids. 254 00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:54,201 Speaker 1: So there is a way that you can do it. 255 00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:56,161 Speaker 1: I don't actually know, but I think they have to 256 00:10:56,881 --> 00:10:59,641 Speaker 1: go inside him and pull it out and then put 257 00:10:59,681 --> 00:11:01,921 Speaker 1: it into her. Oh wow, yeah, I'm going to butcher it, 258 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,321 Speaker 1: so I'm not gonna try and explain it. But they've 259 00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:06,041 Speaker 1: had two kids and he had the snip, so it 260 00:11:06,201 --> 00:11:09,481 Speaker 1: is reversible for the man. So if that came to it, 261 00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:10,921 Speaker 1: I could potentially do that, But I think I just 262 00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,161 Speaker 1: use the frozen stuff that's a bit younger, the frozen 263 00:11:13,561 --> 00:11:18,401 Speaker 1: frozen spen stuff that's so funny. I know that's good. 264 00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:20,721 Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't think we'll go there. It's been 265 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,961 Speaker 1: Auntie to your kids. You will absolutely coming up. Oh 266 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,521 Speaker 1: you can adopt. I could adopt, Yeah, one hundred percent, Steven. 267 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:29,761 Speaker 1: I've always spoken about that, or you know, foster caring whatever, 268 00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:31,761 Speaker 1: that could definitely be in our future. Who knows. 269 00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:32,721 Speaker 2: I could so see that for you. 270 00:11:32,881 --> 00:11:36,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've always seen another boy. Maybe I've just always 271 00:11:36,481 --> 00:11:38,721 Speaker 1: wanted two boys. Then there's also this little boy that 272 00:11:38,761 --> 00:11:40,241 Speaker 1: lives in our street and he's at a house like 273 00:11:40,361 --> 00:11:42,641 Speaker 1: all day, every day and the holidays, every afternoon, every weekend. 274 00:11:42,721 --> 00:11:43,521 Speaker 1: So maybe he's the. 275 00:11:43,481 --> 00:11:44,601 Speaker 2: Extra Boyd's the other one. 276 00:11:44,761 --> 00:11:46,881 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I'm open to anything. I never 277 00:11:46,921 --> 00:11:48,681 Speaker 1: know what's going to happen in the future, but for now, 278 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,041 Speaker 1: very content. Yeah. 279 00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:52,121 Speaker 2: Yeah, Auntie Ashy, then Auntie. 280 00:11:51,801 --> 00:11:53,801 Speaker 1: Ashy, when you get a man, you have your babies, 281 00:11:53,801 --> 00:11:56,241 Speaker 1: I'll be right there with you, helping you doing all 282 00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:57,481 Speaker 1: the things in the birthing. 283 00:11:57,241 --> 00:12:00,721 Speaker 2: Room, in the delivering room. Absolutely, we've already spoken about unity. 284 00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,681 Speaker 2: The content I have got them all over it and 285 00:12:02,841 --> 00:12:04,441 Speaker 2: everything that you can. I know, you'll just be the 286 00:12:04,441 --> 00:12:06,721 Speaker 2: best person I had in there. Your future Man's like, ah, 287 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:10,081 Speaker 2: do I get a saying this? No, have seen those 288 00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:12,161 Speaker 2: videos where it's like the husband and then the best friend, 289 00:12:12,161 --> 00:12:13,921 Speaker 2: but then the best friends with the wife, and then 290 00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:14,801 Speaker 2: husbands just like. 291 00:12:14,921 --> 00:12:17,721 Speaker 1: To the side help. I think it's quite common. Actually, 292 00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:20,761 Speaker 1: I have been in the birth suite of a girlfriend 293 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,961 Speaker 1: and the partner like just freaked out. He didn't know 294 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,681 Speaker 1: how to coach her. He didn't know what to do. 295 00:12:25,761 --> 00:12:28,721 Speaker 1: He was like, oh my gosh, plustered. I'm an XPT. 296 00:12:28,961 --> 00:12:30,721 Speaker 1: I know how to coach, and I love supporting women. 297 00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:32,601 Speaker 1: I'm just like born for that. Yeah, that is my 298 00:12:32,681 --> 00:12:34,681 Speaker 1: jam if I was not doing this. Yeah, I would 299 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:38,201 Speaker 1: love to be a birth support person or a birth photographer. 300 00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:38,601 Speaker 2: Yeah. 301 00:12:38,641 --> 00:12:40,161 Speaker 1: Wow, it's just so beautiful. 302 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:42,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, you've big on getting photos of that bedding experience. 303 00:12:42,681 --> 00:12:45,961 Speaker 1: Okay, get it with Taj and the photos of me 304 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:49,241 Speaker 1: and Steve and Tala are the most beautiful photos I've 305 00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:51,361 Speaker 1: ever had. Yeah, any woman, if you can get that, 306 00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:53,041 Speaker 1: or if you can't even afford a phtographer, get your 307 00:12:53,041 --> 00:12:54,841 Speaker 1: friends in there. Yeah, get someone in there, just on 308 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,801 Speaker 1: their phone and make them black and white, they'll be 309 00:12:56,801 --> 00:13:00,001 Speaker 1: beautiful and candid. They're not there to be perfect. Yes, 310 00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:01,161 Speaker 1: it's your experience. 311 00:13:01,321 --> 00:13:03,201 Speaker 2: It's there for the memories and the moments of the 312 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,281 Speaker 2: hardship that you go through in that moment and soul 313 00:13:05,321 --> 00:13:06,641 Speaker 2: you have from your husband and. 314 00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:08,601 Speaker 1: A lot of it's a big blur. Yeah, Like it's 315 00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:10,841 Speaker 1: crazy what you go through. Like I remember I had 316 00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:13,681 Speaker 1: so much gas with Tala. At one point they were 317 00:13:13,721 --> 00:13:16,081 Speaker 1: looking up a steep. I was so out of it. Yeah, 318 00:13:16,201 --> 00:13:17,761 Speaker 1: they ended up taking it off me because I was like, 319 00:13:17,761 --> 00:13:20,961 Speaker 1: she's had enough, she's done. I wasn't like pushing when 320 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,401 Speaker 1: I was meant to push because I was like, it's 321 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,161 Speaker 1: spacey love that stuff. 322 00:13:24,201 --> 00:13:25,721 Speaker 2: Did you have both natural burds? 323 00:13:25,841 --> 00:13:26,161 Speaker 1: Yeah? 324 00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:26,481 Speaker 2: Yeah. 325 00:13:26,521 --> 00:13:29,521 Speaker 1: With Tajo had an epidural, but it had worn off. 326 00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:32,561 Speaker 1: I remember the pain. I will never forget that pain. 327 00:13:32,641 --> 00:13:35,321 Speaker 1: The ring of fire they call it. Oh, I've heard 328 00:13:35,321 --> 00:13:40,441 Speaker 1: of that before. My God, it was excruciating. I had 329 00:13:40,481 --> 00:13:42,841 Speaker 1: that with both, obviously, but I only had gas with Tala. 330 00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,841 Speaker 1: I really wanted to just try and just have more 331 00:13:45,881 --> 00:13:47,841 Speaker 1: trust in my body and regardless of the pain, just 332 00:13:48,321 --> 00:13:50,481 Speaker 1: know that I can get through it. And I did. 333 00:13:50,881 --> 00:13:52,921 Speaker 1: The pushing for two hours was tough, but oh we 334 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:55,521 Speaker 1: got there. Yeah, it's a burn like no other. Yeah, 335 00:13:55,561 --> 00:13:57,241 Speaker 1: the ring of fire. I've heard of that before. Is 336 00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:59,361 Speaker 1: that like where you're like on the verge of tearing 337 00:13:59,761 --> 00:14:01,361 Speaker 1: or is that it's just when the baby is like 338 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,801 Speaker 1: literally coming out. Yeah, okay, and the head comes out first, Yeah, 339 00:14:04,841 --> 00:14:06,121 Speaker 1: and then the shoulders come out. 340 00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:07,881 Speaker 2: Oh Jesus Christ. 341 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,961 Speaker 1: It's a lot. But I'll be there to hold your hand. 342 00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:11,641 Speaker 1: Yeah awesome. And you know what, if you need an 343 00:14:11,641 --> 00:14:13,761 Speaker 1: epidurol cool, you do what you gotta do for sure. 344 00:14:13,801 --> 00:14:16,841 Speaker 1: There's no judgment around whatever anyone needs. I think depending 345 00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,921 Speaker 1: on where your nervous system's at too, Like if you 346 00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:22,401 Speaker 1: are a really panicky, stressful person, getting an epi durol 347 00:14:22,481 --> 00:14:25,041 Speaker 1: is a great tool because if it helps keep you come, 348 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,441 Speaker 1: it keeps your baby calm, right. You know, it is 349 00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,601 Speaker 1: quite a big needle in your back though, Yeah I've 350 00:14:29,601 --> 00:14:33,641 Speaker 1: heard that, a big needle in your spine. But yeah, 351 00:14:33,761 --> 00:14:36,801 Speaker 1: it was cool experience. I'm bit sadden. I get to 352 00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:37,721 Speaker 1: do that again, to be honest. 353 00:14:37,881 --> 00:14:40,161 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, watch everyone else. 354 00:14:40,201 --> 00:14:41,961 Speaker 1: I'll be watching your baby. If you're right there with you. 355 00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,481 Speaker 2: I'm like, if you anything like what it was when 356 00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:45,041 Speaker 2: I got my Taddy removed. I'm good. 357 00:14:45,161 --> 00:14:47,321 Speaker 1: Yes, I'll be that for tenfold. So so we actually 358 00:14:47,361 --> 00:14:48,641 Speaker 1: got told by a psychic that you're going to be 359 00:14:48,681 --> 00:14:50,681 Speaker 1: a boy mom. Ah, yes, that's right. 360 00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:53,481 Speaker 2: Yeah she did say that, which is really cool. She 361 00:14:53,521 --> 00:14:55,281 Speaker 2: told me about a man that I was going to 362 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,361 Speaker 2: meet and with that man was going to be like 363 00:14:57,401 --> 00:14:59,481 Speaker 2: obviously the father of my children, the person I would 364 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,401 Speaker 2: be with. And yeah, she's like, you're going to be 365 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:01,921 Speaker 2: a boy mom. 366 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,281 Speaker 1: And how many does she say? Two? Two boys? Yeah? Yeah, 367 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,841 Speaker 1: have you ever thought about how many kids you would 368 00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:07,521 Speaker 1: potentially want. 369 00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:10,241 Speaker 2: I've only logically thought about this. I'm like, okay, logically, 370 00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:12,641 Speaker 2: I would probably either want two or four. For some reason, 371 00:15:12,761 --> 00:15:13,041 Speaker 2: why do. 372 00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:15,041 Speaker 1: People say this? This is such a common thing. 373 00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:18,521 Speaker 2: It's such a strange thing. I feel almost bad that 374 00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,481 Speaker 2: the child might get left out and not have someone 375 00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:21,401 Speaker 2: to be with all the time. 376 00:15:21,641 --> 00:15:23,721 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, behind her, that's the way. 377 00:15:23,761 --> 00:15:25,601 Speaker 2: I don't know if that's right, because obviously I haven't 378 00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:27,881 Speaker 2: had children, but yeah, for some reason, I'm just like 379 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,561 Speaker 2: I would want them to be even numbers. 380 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:32,041 Speaker 1: For some reason, goes, if you have one more, mum, 381 00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:33,681 Speaker 1: you got to have one more after that. Yeah, it's 382 00:15:33,721 --> 00:15:36,721 Speaker 1: been an even number on mom four, Like good luck 383 00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:38,281 Speaker 1: my head. I'm like, that mean you have to get 384 00:15:38,281 --> 00:15:40,001 Speaker 1: a whole new car. Three you can still fit in 385 00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:40,441 Speaker 1: the same car. 386 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,201 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. 387 00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:44,881 Speaker 1: You got to get a minivan. I don't say you're 388 00:15:44,881 --> 00:15:48,081 Speaker 1: getting a minivan all over agon. 389 00:15:48,241 --> 00:15:50,161 Speaker 2: That's right, that's right. Yeah, two boys. And you know 390 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:51,921 Speaker 2: what when she said that, I thought about it. I 391 00:15:51,961 --> 00:15:53,961 Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I would love that. I would love 392 00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:56,561 Speaker 2: to have two boys. Even all of my friends, like 393 00:15:56,641 --> 00:15:59,121 Speaker 2: my best friends that I've had and along the years 394 00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:01,721 Speaker 2: and whoever, I just love their little boys, like I 395 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:04,001 Speaker 2: love all of their children, but the little boys, like 396 00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:05,001 Speaker 2: the bond is just. 397 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,081 Speaker 1: I've always like, obviously I have a daughter and I 398 00:16:08,121 --> 00:16:10,481 Speaker 1: love it a bit and we're so connected, like we 399 00:16:10,561 --> 00:16:12,041 Speaker 1: are person. 400 00:16:12,201 --> 00:16:14,081 Speaker 2: She is down for her mummy. 401 00:16:14,281 --> 00:16:17,361 Speaker 1: She loves her mummy. Oh my gosh, it's like, see 402 00:16:17,401 --> 00:16:21,761 Speaker 1: we love you. She's like, I love mummy, my mummy. 403 00:16:22,201 --> 00:16:23,161 Speaker 2: She's so funny. 404 00:16:23,521 --> 00:16:26,081 Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, I've always been drawn to little boys 405 00:16:26,121 --> 00:16:28,801 Speaker 1: like I'm just they're just so sweet. I love them. 406 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,041 Speaker 2: Really gentle, sweet nature. 407 00:16:30,081 --> 00:16:32,361 Speaker 1: Hey yea, and I love footing now too, like the boy. 408 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,161 Speaker 2: Sports footy one. 409 00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:35,561 Speaker 1: I am such a footing you are. 410 00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:37,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, hot one at that. 411 00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:41,361 Speaker 1: Thanks, I don't know about that, but anyways, ago with that, 412 00:16:41,761 --> 00:16:43,521 Speaker 1: but yeah, I just want to share that story because 413 00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,281 Speaker 1: I know a lot of other women would go through 414 00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:48,401 Speaker 1: that and the emotional rollercoaster, and also like there was 415 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,961 Speaker 1: a little bit of I wouldn't say shame, but there 416 00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,801 Speaker 1: was those thoughts of what if I was to terminate, 417 00:16:53,921 --> 00:16:56,241 Speaker 1: like what people think of me? And like, well I 418 00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:58,521 Speaker 1: think of myself? Yeah, is that something I could go 419 00:16:58,641 --> 00:17:01,641 Speaker 1: through with? And there was that that was really tricky 420 00:17:01,681 --> 00:17:03,561 Speaker 1: to even like go there. I kind of wanted to 421 00:17:03,601 --> 00:17:07,201 Speaker 1: avoid that conversation with myself. And then I also thought, oh, gosh, 422 00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:10,121 Speaker 1: I love being a mom. Shouldn't I want more children? 423 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,801 Speaker 1: Like should didn't? I like hate that word should yeah 424 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: with so much like pressure and feels negative and heavy. 425 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: But I'm like, I should want more kids, right because 426 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: I've got two. I love being a mum. Why I 427 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: don't want more? Yeah? And I'm like and then I 428 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 1: felt almost a little bit of shame of like, oh, 429 00:17:24,201 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: you couldn't handle three. I truly believe I would struggle 430 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:27,161 Speaker 1: with three. 431 00:17:27,281 --> 00:17:27,561 Speaker 2: Yeah. 432 00:17:27,721 --> 00:17:29,841 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, but other moms nail it. Those 433 00:17:29,921 --> 00:17:32,001 Speaker 1: internal like intrusive thoughts I had quite a bit of 434 00:17:32,041 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: that going out on and it was very noisy. 435 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 2: Do you think there's any pressure to like want to 436 00:17:36,761 --> 00:17:38,561 Speaker 2: want more because you've already got children? 437 00:17:38,561 --> 00:17:40,881 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I get comments in it all the time, yeah, like, oh, 438 00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:43,521 Speaker 1: you love being a mom, why would you not have more? Yeah, 439 00:17:43,561 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: one hundred percent. And then there's also the other layer 440 00:17:45,681 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 1: of I also love working. Yes, And this is a conversation. 441 00:17:48,761 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 1: I will stay loud and proud, like I love being 442 00:17:50,681 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: a mom, and I also love having a career, and 443 00:17:52,961 --> 00:17:55,281 Speaker 1: I also love having hobbies, and I also love valuing 444 00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: my friendships, and I also love date nights, and I 445 00:17:57,721 --> 00:18:00,160 Speaker 1: also love my alone time. Just because of my mum, 446 00:18:00,201 --> 00:18:02,640 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean I don't enjoy all those other things. Yeah, 447 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,561 Speaker 1: And I get so much hate for online. It's like, oh, 448 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 1: if you're a mum, it's like you should just strip 449 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:09,880 Speaker 1: everything else off about you and just be a musks 450 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,801 Speaker 1: me a mum. But like, I don't want to I 451 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,161 Speaker 1: want more. I think I want it all. 452 00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:14,921 Speaker 2: I want it all. 453 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 1: I like that, hey can I want to eat it? 454 00:18:16,281 --> 00:18:19,360 Speaker 1: True to have that saying, And I hope other moms 455 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 1: listening this just gives you permission to it's okay for 456 00:18:23,281 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 1: you to want what you want and just fully own it. 457 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 1: But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have 458 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 1: those intrusive internal thoughts and conversations with myself that felt uncomfortable. 459 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,441 Speaker 1: But I think it's more like society and old conditioning 460 00:18:35,521 --> 00:18:37,880 Speaker 1: of what is right and wrong in someone else's book. 461 00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,561 Speaker 1: But if I'm really grounded and I resent to myself, 462 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, I know what I want and I'm going 463 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,001 Speaker 1: to stand by that. I'm going to honor that. 464 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,360 Speaker 2: I think that's a really beautiful conversation to kind of 465 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,801 Speaker 2: bring forward to allow other women in a similar position 466 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 2: or maybe if they reach that position in the future 467 00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:55,721 Speaker 2: where they have a decision to make. Is being able 468 00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:58,441 Speaker 2: to sit with themselves first and foremost and drown out 469 00:18:58,481 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 2: all the other outside noise of pressure from other people 470 00:19:01,961 --> 00:19:05,241 Speaker 2: of what you should do. If you know in yourself, 471 00:19:05,281 --> 00:19:08,161 Speaker 2: then it either doesn't feel right, you're not ready, You're 472 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,041 Speaker 2: not there yet, the circumstances don't allow for another child 473 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,361 Speaker 2: to come into the world. Just listening to yourself. 474 00:19:14,681 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: And it's even timing with it too, is at the 475 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,481 Speaker 1: right time. Like I know, it took me a long 476 00:19:19,561 --> 00:19:22,241 Speaker 1: time to feel ready for Tala, and it took another 477 00:19:22,321 --> 00:19:24,640 Speaker 1: eleven months to even fall pregnant. And I think the universe, 478 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 1: because I think the universe had my back and like 479 00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:29,041 Speaker 1: knowing the right time. Yeah, but it's not just have 480 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,881 Speaker 1: a kid. If your relationship is rocky, if you don't 481 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:35,400 Speaker 1: have the finances, if you're not in a good place mentally. Yeah, 482 00:19:35,561 --> 00:19:37,961 Speaker 1: I promised you. A baby is not going to fix that. Yeah, 483 00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:40,041 Speaker 1: a baby is going to make it ten times more 484 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:44,001 Speaker 1: stressful and hard. You think life's like tricky now when 485 00:19:44,001 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 1: you're looking after a baby and you're tired and a 486 00:19:45,921 --> 00:19:49,481 Speaker 1: hormonal and trying to keep yourself afloat, it's way harder 487 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,641 Speaker 1: with a baby. So like, they're the things you really 488 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,521 Speaker 1: got to think about and consider as well, because it's 489 00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:56,761 Speaker 1: not just you, your partner and your child as well. 490 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: And I just wanted to make sure when I had Tala, 491 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,801 Speaker 1: I was in a really good spot emotionally, physically, feeling 492 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 1: really strong that my body had healed from the first one. 493 00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:06,801 Speaker 1: Obviously it was like six years later, so I felt 494 00:20:06,801 --> 00:20:10,321 Speaker 1: really good, our relationship was strong, finances were good, like 495 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: we were in a good position to have another baby. Yeah, 496 00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:15,400 Speaker 1: And it's been beautiful because of that. It's a very 497 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,721 Speaker 1: conscious decision. 498 00:20:16,441 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, conscious, yeah, yeah. I think that's a really important 499 00:20:19,481 --> 00:20:21,121 Speaker 2: thing when bringing a child into the world. 500 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 1: And accidents happened. Your friends that are like, no, yeah, 501 00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:26,801 Speaker 1: we did not plan that. Well, so many didn't plan 502 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,041 Speaker 1: the second or that either. You know, and it works out. 503 00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: You figure it out for sure, but I definitely yeah. 504 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,721 Speaker 1: If anyone thinks that it will solve problems. 505 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,880 Speaker 2: I don't think it does. No. 506 00:20:36,241 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, that was my story. 507 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing. 508 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,241 Speaker 1: You're welcome, and we'll see you guys on Friday. 509 00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 2: Bye, guys.