WEBVTT - Let's Remove the Shame From Getting Support as Parents 

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, and welcome back to Bounce Forward with me, Tip Paul.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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<v Speaker 1>of which I'm recording this podcast. There were wondering people

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<v Speaker 1>of the Cooler Nation. I pay my respects to elders

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<v Speaker 1>past and present. Welcome back to part two of my

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<v Speaker 1>chat with Genevieve Day. I want to know what were

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<v Speaker 1>your career goals before having Henry, Like, what were your

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<v Speaker 1>big goals?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, I think I've always had big ambitions

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<v Speaker 2>for the agency, and I, you know, want to work

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<v Speaker 2>with the biggest and the best talent, but also grow

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<v Speaker 2>the careers of the incredible talent we represent as well.

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<v Speaker 2>And we've been really conscious about scaling that, like not

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<v Speaker 2>just signing people for the sake of it, making sure

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<v Speaker 2>people that we really align with. So we're definitely like

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<v Speaker 2>on track to hitting those goals, and you know, we're

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<v Speaker 2>achieving all these massive milestones of working with the brands

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<v Speaker 2>I've always dreamed of and getting campaigns that were on

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<v Speaker 2>TV and billboards and book deals and everything. So those

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<v Speaker 2>are kind of the career goals, but I felt that

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<v Speaker 2>I was fulfilling as well and getting to kind of

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<v Speaker 2>step into that, which is really exciting.

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<v Speaker 3>And the fear was almost not that I wasn't going

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<v Speaker 3>to make them happen.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like it's all going to be taken away

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<v Speaker 2>if I'm not there with my foot on the pedal.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think that was kind of where the pregnancy

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<v Speaker 2>felt like it was almost getting in the way of

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<v Speaker 2>those goals a little bit.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, right, that's so interesting.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I guess the irony is almost that if

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<v Speaker 2>I could tell myself before and you know, time travel

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<v Speaker 2>back to gen pre kids, I think we've actually had.

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<v Speaker 3>Bigger months in the business.

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<v Speaker 2>We've signed bigger names and done more amazing things after

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<v Speaker 2>I've had kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, And that was the same with me because I

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<v Speaker 1>thought I put on a lot of weight in my pregnancy,

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<v Speaker 1>like thirty forty kilos, and I thought, oh, I've put

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<v Speaker 1>on weight.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't look like a trainer.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to ruin my business because the bodies are

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<v Speaker 1>meant to be a billboard for my health and fitness business. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but what it did is I had I became more relatable,

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<v Speaker 1>and then all the.

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<v Speaker 4>Moms joined my program and they went on.

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<v Speaker 1>The journey with me to get fit again, and it

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<v Speaker 1>made my business boom after I had kids, whereas I

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<v Speaker 1>held on so long to not having children and had

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<v Speaker 1>them later than what I wanted. I've been with my

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<v Speaker 1>husband for ten years, Like, you know, its just I

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<v Speaker 1>held off thinking it would ruin everything.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, isn't that crazy?

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<v Speaker 3>And we never say that out loud either, do We

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<v Speaker 3>never because it seems like a dirty.

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<v Speaker 2>Word, being like, I have all these ambitions and I

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<v Speaker 2>still want to be a mother and it's just as

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<v Speaker 2>important to me, if not more so, to have children.

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<v Speaker 3>Of course, who want to do that. But it's like,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't have an issue.

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<v Speaker 2>Saying that out loud now that I was worried it

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<v Speaker 2>was going to get in the way, but actually it

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<v Speaker 2>became a superpower.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's that's gorgeous. I love that. So how have

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<v Speaker 4>your goals now changed since you've been a mum?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think they've changed a lot, and I do

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<v Speaker 2>feel like becoming a mom, it's almost like my edges

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<v Speaker 2>have softened, and even I think you'd be quite similar.

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<v Speaker 2>Like we've been taught to work like men, right, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know we girl boss too hard. When millennials it

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<v Speaker 2>was like you just keep pushing, you go for it,

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<v Speaker 2>And I think that I've learned the beauty in softness

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<v Speaker 2>and vulnerability, and I've become a more empathetic leader to

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<v Speaker 2>my team, and then my goals have often I guess

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<v Speaker 2>softened a little bit as well. It's less like all

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<v Speaker 2>or nothing, and you kind of get to see the

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<v Speaker 2>shades of gray a little bit more in that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and we're all guilty of the all or nothing

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<v Speaker 1>attitude in everything, like everything we do.

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<v Speaker 4>That's really beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, you know, if you were to do it

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<v Speaker 1>all again, and I don't know if you want to

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<v Speaker 1>have more children or you know there might come a time,

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<v Speaker 1>what would you change?

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<v Speaker 2>I think, yeah, that baby bubble. I'd be a lot

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<v Speaker 2>stricter on that, because even though we had this intention

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<v Speaker 2>of it being this like beautiful sacred space, I broke

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<v Speaker 2>my own rules a thousand times, and I'd be calling

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<v Speaker 2>the team and I'd be telling my husband what happened

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<v Speaker 2>at the office today, and so I kind of, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I definitely needed to be stricter on that for myself

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<v Speaker 2>often then for other people as well, just saying like

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<v Speaker 2>this is my time because you don't get that time again.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think as well, like trusting my team, who

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely proved themselves. They did an incredible job when I

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't there in the office every single day. So I

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<v Speaker 2>think having the confidence to step away would definitely be

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<v Speaker 2>something I do differently, and then just being kind to

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<v Speaker 2>myself in that new mum bubble, like I had no

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<v Speaker 2>idea what I was doing, and the second that Henry

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<v Speaker 2>would like open his eyes, I would get a developmental

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<v Speaker 2>book and be like black and white learning.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, and he's like four days old. Yeah, and so

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<v Speaker 3>it's kind of like that pressure. I was like, I'm

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<v Speaker 3>responsible for building his brain.

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<v Speaker 2>I have to do the best job at this whether

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<v Speaker 2>Like really, I could have relaxed a lot more.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I found that I was super freaked out

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<v Speaker 1>with Arnold, and then with Vader, I relaxed a whole

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<v Speaker 1>lot more.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, Ah, she'll eat when she's hungry, like you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know when they don't eat and they're throwing their food

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<v Speaker 1>on the floor. And I used to get proper anxiety

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<v Speaker 1>over her not eating, and now I'm just like, she'll

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<v Speaker 1>eat when she's hungry. Like feeding toddlers is a full

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<v Speaker 1>time job. It is just so difficult. Yeah, podcasts, So

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<v Speaker 1>what does a day look like in your life? Like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, juggling, Henry juggling work, like, and I'd love

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<v Speaker 1>to know what you do for your own mental health

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<v Speaker 1>and your own physical health, Like what do you do?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean our day's start probably like six or

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<v Speaker 2>six thirty in the morning when Henry wakes us up.

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<v Speaker 3>He's a little human alarm clock.

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<v Speaker 2>And if it's too early, we try and bring him

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<v Speaker 2>in the bed with us, being like, please a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit more time, but he's at a demanding stage. He's like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>we have to get up. We have to listen to

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<v Speaker 2>the Wiggles straight away.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh I love the Wiggles.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, on repeat, on loop constantly.

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<v Speaker 2>So we start a day with him, and we try

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<v Speaker 2>and spend that beautiful like morning as a family, So

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<v Speaker 2>doing like breakfast together and being all together. A couple

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<v Speaker 2>of times a week, I'll like go for a morning

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<v Speaker 2>walk with a girlfriend or a try and go or

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<v Speaker 2>Floody his class.

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<v Speaker 3>I've been very sluck.

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<v Speaker 2>Recently, but I find mornings is the best time for

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<v Speaker 2>movement because it's kind of like nothing else can get

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<v Speaker 2>them the way in whether as soon as your day

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<v Speaker 2>starts and the phone starts ringing, everything's out the window.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, sets that healthy intention for the day. It's good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I used to get into the office so

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<v Speaker 2>early and like smash things out, but now our childcare,

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<v Speaker 2>I of it is like our parents arriving. They don't

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<v Speaker 2>come until like nine o'clock, so we kind of get

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<v Speaker 2>to the office just before ten and we just know

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<v Speaker 2>for meetings they start like from ten onwards, which again

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<v Speaker 2>is such a luxury to have that flexibility. We go

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<v Speaker 2>into the office three days a week, which is great.

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<v Speaker 2>I personally love having that like separation from home as

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<v Speaker 2>well to kind of like feel like myself again. And

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<v Speaker 2>then occasionally I'll have like a work event or has

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<v Speaker 2>to travel to Sydney to do meetings and everything, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty fortunate that most evenings get to spend as

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<v Speaker 2>a family, and yeah, try and have that feeding a toddel,

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<v Speaker 2>like you said, which is crazy, so lots of thrown

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<v Speaker 2>food and rejected food, a few screaming bath times, but yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we just try and do like bed, bath and book together.

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<v Speaker 3>And then he's down at seven.

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<v Speaker 2>So then after that I can jump back online if

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<v Speaker 2>I have to do any more work, yeah, move my body.

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<v Speaker 3>Then if I can do like an online class, and

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<v Speaker 3>that's kind of it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's definitely took a bit of acceptance becoming a first

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<v Speaker 2>time mum that my life isn't like as exciting as

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<v Speaker 2>it used to be. And that sounds so silly because

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<v Speaker 2>it's like, what a beautiful, balanced life that is. But

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<v Speaker 2>you know, it used to be filled with like sparkly,

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<v Speaker 2>premier work events and going out with my.

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<v Speaker 3>Friends all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think, to me, this is kind of like

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<v Speaker 2>the era that I'm in, and that's kind of my juggle.

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<v Speaker 1>So what advice would you give to women who are

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<v Speaker 1>thinking of having kids.

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<v Speaker 4>But I just really worried about their careers?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think obviously by the book, which is the

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<v Speaker 2>biggest takeaway.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I joke, but I tell us and tell us

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<v Speaker 1>about the book as well, like, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think that question is the perfect framing for it,

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<v Speaker 2>because that's kind of where I was sitting when I

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<v Speaker 2>first thought of the concept of it. Is because I

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<v Speaker 2>was pregnant running this business, and I was having all

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<v Speaker 2>these catchups with women around me in my kind of

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<v Speaker 2>corporate circle, and I would see their lives on Instagram

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<v Speaker 2>and I'd read about them in the paper and I'd

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<v Speaker 2>be like, how the hell are.

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<v Speaker 3>You doing this?

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<v Speaker 2>And again to if you sit in this camp too,

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<v Speaker 2>where like you have this beautiful family in this empire,

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<v Speaker 2>and everyone's like, how are you doing this? And so

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<v Speaker 2>I was just very fortunate that the people I was

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<v Speaker 2>able to speak to in my circle happened to like

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<v Speaker 2>step West Smith from Kick or like you know, Jess

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<v Speaker 2>Hatters of Frank Body and Phoebe.

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<v Speaker 3>From the Memo.

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<v Speaker 2>And so these women, firstly, all of them makes it

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<v Speaker 2>said to me, oh my gosh, Jen, I cry all

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<v Speaker 2>the time, or like I do not feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>nailing it, And I think I needed to hear that

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<v Speaker 2>to take the pressure off myself as well. And then

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<v Speaker 2>they were all kind of sharing their regrets and what

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<v Speaker 2>they would do differently, and the fact that they are

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<v Speaker 2>less stressed the other side of it now that they've

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<v Speaker 2>been for that experience. And that's kind of when I

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<v Speaker 2>saw this recurring theme in this universal thread that.

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<v Speaker 3>Had to be shared with people.

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<v Speaker 2>So I kind of like, if these women who have,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, one hundred million dollar businesses had the same

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<v Speaker 2>thoughts and concerns and fears as I do, like that

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<v Speaker 2>just makes me feel so much less alone. So I

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<v Speaker 2>think all of them kind of felt the fear into

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<v Speaker 2>it anyway, and I know, it's just I think it's

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<v Speaker 2>just crazy to really I sat in the mother's group

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<v Speaker 2>and I went through that as well, and I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>really feel represented in that scenario.

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<v Speaker 1>Interesting, Yeah, I didn't even do mother's group. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>with Arnold, I was so busy with the business, I

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<v Speaker 1>just ditched it completely.

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<v Speaker 4>And I regret that.

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<v Speaker 1>With Vader, I was like, you've got to do it

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<v Speaker 1>more like, but I still didn't. With Vader, I was

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<v Speaker 1>one thing on my list. I just said I don't

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<v Speaker 1>have time for. But I did make an effort with

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<v Speaker 1>my friends that had kids, but.

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<v Speaker 4>I just didn't even do mother group. Like, I mean,

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<v Speaker 4>it's terrible.

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<v Speaker 1>And so you say you didn't feel represented, you didn't

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<v Speaker 1>yea all.

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<v Speaker 4>With the working moms, They're like they were all kind.

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<v Speaker 2>Of had the twelve months off or were deciding to

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<v Speaker 2>be stay at home parents at that time, which again

0:09:59.920 --> 0:10:02.520
<v Speaker 2>is it's a completely valid choice, and I think women

0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.120
<v Speaker 2>that choose that are incredible because it's such a huge undertaking.

0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.800
<v Speaker 2>But I kind of sat in that room and was like, well,

0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:09.920
<v Speaker 2>no one here seems to be in the position that

0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm in. But then I went back to the stories

0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.280
<v Speaker 2>in the book and I was like, these women have

0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:16.120
<v Speaker 2>the same ambitions that I do. With these women are

0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.000
<v Speaker 2>the ones in the same you know, stressful situations that

0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:21.800
<v Speaker 2>I have. And it's not just about running your own business,

0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.520
<v Speaker 2>but anyone in the career who you know wants a

0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.000
<v Speaker 2>return to work or has to have a necessity as well.

0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:29.840
<v Speaker 2>It's yeah, I think it's just nice to have those

0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:31.200
<v Speaker 2>stories and have a place for them.

0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:34.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's beautiful. Oh, it's an awesome book. Now, can

0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.079
<v Speaker 1>you tell me who are your role models?

0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:38.199
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:42.640
<v Speaker 1>Like, my mum was a working mum, right and she

0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.800
<v Speaker 1>had my sister and I very close together. Then when

0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:49.200
<v Speaker 1>I was sixteen, she felt pregnant accidentally with my brother

0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.360
<v Speaker 1>and we had a newborn in the house when I

0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.520
<v Speaker 1>was doing my BCE, and so she was then had

0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:57.400
<v Speaker 1>a baby on a hip while she was running a

0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:01.440
<v Speaker 1>big business. So she's always my role model for juggling.

0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Who are your role models for juggling?

0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh, that's such a good question because I think we

0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.840
<v Speaker 2>kind of came up in this Yeah millennial like girl

0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:12.800
<v Speaker 2>Boss era, who've had people, you know, held up on

0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 2>these pedestals and yeah, hustling, which is awesome, and I

0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.040
<v Speaker 2>think there's so many of them I do really look

0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.079
<v Speaker 2>up to Jess and Brie or Frank Body as you

0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.000
<v Speaker 2>know examples of that, and they you know, have two

0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.280
<v Speaker 2>kis each, and even you know, Chelsea Marley's also in

0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:28.280
<v Speaker 2>the book that runs the agency Tiny Disco, has two kids,

0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:32.319
<v Speaker 2>this incredible career, and you know Rachel Corbett who single

0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:35.440
<v Speaker 2>on my choice Friend of the Pod. I think they're

0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:37.720
<v Speaker 2>all kind of role models to me and just people

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.920
<v Speaker 2>who managed to seem to kick these huge goals in life,

0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.240
<v Speaker 2>but it hasn't stopped them from having a family or

0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:47.319
<v Speaker 2>having a personal life at the same time.

0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:49.959
<v Speaker 3>And I think as well, like my mom kind of.

0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Wore both hats, which I loved growing up because she

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.760
<v Speaker 2>was a stay at home mom for the first ten

0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.360
<v Speaker 2>years of my life, and then she returns to her

0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.000
<v Speaker 2>career and got to kind of climb that corporate ladder

0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:00.560
<v Speaker 2>in her.

0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:01.800
<v Speaker 3>Field a bit later in life.

0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:03.959
<v Speaker 2>So I got to kind of see that you can

0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:08.160
<v Speaker 2>also do both in that capacity too. But I think

0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.840
<v Speaker 2>everyone is doubling it and for a long time, no

0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.320
<v Speaker 2>one would really say how hard it is or that

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.280
<v Speaker 2>they have help. And that's also a big chapter in

0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.320
<v Speaker 2>the book. Aron Daring is another example where you know

0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 2>she had Triangle Swimwear and has just launcher and fashion

0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.920
<v Speaker 2>label Deering, And she says, yeah, I've got three nannies.

0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:26.800
<v Speaker 3>Like if people ask me how I'm doing it all,

0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:27.720
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's amazing, And like, I think we have to

0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.360
<v Speaker 1>take the shame away from having.

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:35.080
<v Speaker 4>Support and help.

0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.880
<v Speaker 1>And you know, I chose not to do childcare because

0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:42.800
<v Speaker 1>my thinking was they will get sick. I can't afford

0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:44.480
<v Speaker 1>to have a sick child at home. I can't take

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.160
<v Speaker 1>days off. So I have a nanny, you know, And

0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.280
<v Speaker 1>you know that was my choice, and she's my Nanny's

0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:55.000
<v Speaker 1>been with me for nearly eight years now, and she's

0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:58.360
<v Speaker 1>always helping me to do everything. And you know, I

0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:01.440
<v Speaker 1>couldn't do it alone. It does take village. It absolutely

0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.600
<v Speaker 1>takes a village. And I didn't have my parents are

0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.840
<v Speaker 1>still running their big business, so I didn't have a

0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:09.960
<v Speaker 1>lot of grandparents' support. So it's it's amazing once you

0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:13.600
<v Speaker 1>dig deep into those stories and actually see the villages

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:17.480
<v Speaker 1>that you know are supporting these amazing careers.

0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:18.040
<v Speaker 3>One hundred percent.

0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.960
<v Speaker 2>And also because imagine if someone's comparing you know, their

0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:24.160
<v Speaker 2>life to these other women doing incredible things and thinking, oh,

0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm not good enough because I can't do that. It's like, yeah,

0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.360
<v Speaker 2>but you may not have the same level of supporter,

0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:31.160
<v Speaker 2>You may not have that village that this other person has,

0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:34.040
<v Speaker 2>and I think it just Yeah, by shining light on it,

0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.720
<v Speaker 2>it makes everyone kind of more of an even playing field,

0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, debunks any shame that's there because also it

0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.000
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't be shameful to have help if you choose to

0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:42.360
<v Speaker 2>have it.

0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:44.119
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, exactly.

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Well, thank you for shining a light on the juggle, Jen.

0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 1>I loved what you said about becoming a mum is

0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.840
<v Speaker 1>your superpower in business and I'm going to take that

0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:54.560
<v Speaker 1>with me today.

0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:56.680
<v Speaker 4>So thank you so much for joining me on the podcast.

0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:57.680
<v Speaker 3>Thank you so much.

0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.960
<v Speaker 2>I think it's so beautiful having this community of mother

0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:01.959
<v Speaker 2>and we all look out for each other. It's like,

0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, a secret language we all speak now together.

0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it is, it is.

0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:10.640
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Jen. Thanks so much for listening to Bounce Forward.

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.160
<v Speaker 1>I love having your company. So please d m me

0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.600
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram at tip haul Underscore XO and let me

0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.440
<v Speaker 1>know what topics you'd love me to cover. Don't forget

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.480
<v Speaker 1>to rate and review me on the podcast. Out Speak soon.

0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:23.440
<v Speaker 1>Happy Days,