1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Approache production. 2 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,121 Speaker 2: You must find that being a very rewarding job. I 3 00:00:21,161 --> 00:00:24,281 Speaker 2: mean you've gone from two jobs of very hostile environments. 4 00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:27,401 Speaker 2: You would have to sort of wear a shield, I 5 00:00:27,441 --> 00:00:29,641 Speaker 2: guess each day and put on a little bit of 6 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:34,521 Speaker 2: a courageous front. Obviously you know here you are in 7 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,601 Speaker 2: the fieries. It's a compassionate job. It's a caring job. 8 00:00:37,721 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: It's a very assertive job. It's something that there's no 9 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:45,241 Speaker 2: room for error. But it takes a lot of heart 10 00:00:45,281 --> 00:00:48,681 Speaker 2: and a lot of compassion. You talked about switching off 11 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 2: and you know, desensitizing in the environments that you have 12 00:00:53,241 --> 00:00:55,961 Speaker 2: worked in. Now, I guess you still have to try 13 00:00:56,001 --> 00:01:01,401 Speaker 2: and not be emotionally overtaken by certain things. 14 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:04,041 Speaker 3: But you've got to have a heart to do what 15 00:01:04,081 --> 00:01:04,481 Speaker 3: you're doing. 16 00:01:05,321 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, mate, And of there of battle mate with 17 00:01:13,721 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 4: my emotions, my feelings of you know, and I still do. 18 00:01:18,481 --> 00:01:18,681 Speaker 1: Mate. 19 00:01:18,721 --> 00:01:21,161 Speaker 4: I find it hard to I find it hard to 20 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,241 Speaker 4: express myself. I find it hard to open up. I 21 00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:25,281 Speaker 4: find it hard to love people. I find it. 22 00:01:26,681 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 3: Why do you keep putting yourself into these jobs? 23 00:01:28,761 --> 00:01:34,881 Speaker 2: Though that, Like I can see the first job you know, 24 00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:38,601 Speaker 2: to me, fuck it, I'm just going I'm doing it. 25 00:01:39,081 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 3: I'm out there. If I live, I live, If I die, 26 00:01:41,321 --> 00:01:43,681 Speaker 3: I die, whatever sort of thing. You know what I mean. 27 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:48,481 Speaker 2: You come back, you take on a role of authority again, 28 00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:53,161 Speaker 2: asserting authority. You could have lost your life at any 29 00:01:53,161 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 2: stage there, especially been technically on the front line. Yeah, okay, 30 00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:58,481 Speaker 2: you had a dog a period of your time there, 31 00:01:58,481 --> 00:02:02,921 Speaker 2: but you're very vulnerable when you you know you don't 32 00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:03,481 Speaker 2: have that dog. 33 00:02:03,921 --> 00:02:06,481 Speaker 3: But yet here you are. 34 00:02:08,121 --> 00:02:12,281 Speaker 2: Somebody whom is struggling with his own demons, but yet 35 00:02:12,321 --> 00:02:14,681 Speaker 2: out there giving your heart and helping people and putting 36 00:02:14,721 --> 00:02:17,361 Speaker 2: your life on the line again but in a different way. 37 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,801 Speaker 4: Yeah, No, it's it's a good points good question, and 38 00:02:22,361 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 4: it's probably mate, he's like a pair of military sort 39 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 4: of uniform type environment. 40 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: Mate. 41 00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 4: It's what I've done since the day left school, and 42 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,401 Speaker 4: it's probably what i'll do to the day I'll die. 43 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:37,761 Speaker 2: Well for that, I'd like to say thank you for 44 00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:41,001 Speaker 2: the for being a screw. Fuck you for the military 45 00:02:41,081 --> 00:02:41,521 Speaker 2: side of it. 46 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:42,161 Speaker 3: Legend. 47 00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: Now, I was waiting for it. I thought I thought 48 00:02:50,841 --> 00:02:52,361 Speaker 1: it might have come a bit quicker than when it did. 49 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:54,081 Speaker 3: I wanted to. 50 00:02:54,081 --> 00:02:56,161 Speaker 2: Hear your reasonings, why the fuck you went there and 51 00:02:56,161 --> 00:02:58,761 Speaker 2: wanted to harass us poor crims, just like. 52 00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:02,921 Speaker 3: People with people with the past. Let's just say that. 53 00:03:03,881 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 2: Look, and that's what I was trying to put it 54 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:09,561 Speaker 2: in perspective obviously for our listeners here, because it does 55 00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:10,401 Speaker 2: show a pattern. 56 00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:11,561 Speaker 3: You know, you you. 57 00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:14,361 Speaker 2: Come from a broken home, broken home, sorry, you've got 58 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 2: no no, really no love and support from it from 59 00:03:18,401 --> 00:03:22,921 Speaker 2: a merely a muscular a father figure naturally. Like you said, 60 00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,761 Speaker 2: you know, your schooling went out the window, but yet 61 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,321 Speaker 2: you've you've put yourself up to a very vulnerable position, 62 00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 2: ready to go to war. I think that you know, one, 63 00:03:32,001 --> 00:03:34,481 Speaker 2: it's courageous, but two, I truly believed that in your 64 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:35,481 Speaker 2: heart you didn't give a fuck. 65 00:03:36,321 --> 00:03:37,321 Speaker 3: You were carrying pain. 66 00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:40,241 Speaker 2: When I say give a fuck about what consequences could 67 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:42,961 Speaker 2: have come of it, you were there to do whatever 68 00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:43,681 Speaker 2: you had to do. 69 00:03:45,081 --> 00:03:46,241 Speaker 3: Am I wrong in saying that? 70 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:48,441 Speaker 1: No? 71 00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:53,321 Speaker 4: No, no, no, But I think, and you're talking about 72 00:03:53,321 --> 00:03:57,161 Speaker 4: the roles I've been in. Is you know I'm wanted, 73 00:03:57,561 --> 00:04:02,321 Speaker 4: I'm liked on the madship, the camaraderie. You know, I've 74 00:04:02,921 --> 00:04:06,801 Speaker 4: I didn't have that any my early life. And you 75 00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:08,401 Speaker 4: know blocks I work with and the blocks I have 76 00:04:08,441 --> 00:04:11,681 Speaker 4: worked is you know some of them are family to me, mate, 77 00:04:11,681 --> 00:04:15,121 Speaker 4: because I've got no family, so, you know, and that's 78 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,641 Speaker 4: probably another reason I sort of keep falling into these roles. 79 00:04:19,161 --> 00:04:21,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do. 80 00:04:21,121 --> 00:04:23,521 Speaker 2: I appreciate you know, the role you're in now, I 81 00:04:23,561 --> 00:04:25,241 Speaker 2: really do, because I think it takes a lot of 82 00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:30,601 Speaker 2: courage for someone to Fiery's job is is is scary. 83 00:04:31,641 --> 00:04:33,481 Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. And there's a lot that I 84 00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:36,001 Speaker 2: can do and probably would do, but I don't think 85 00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:37,561 Speaker 2: I could ever put my hand up to be a 86 00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:42,041 Speaker 2: fiery just the fear of you know, I guess one 87 00:04:42,121 --> 00:04:45,161 Speaker 2: fire and too you know, so much more to it. 88 00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:48,321 Speaker 2: You and I had a brief chat yesterday and you 89 00:04:48,481 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 2: touched on the fact that Victoria, you're not just a fiery, 90 00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:54,241 Speaker 2: you're also a first. 91 00:04:56,241 --> 00:04:57,281 Speaker 3: Emergency sort of. 92 00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:03,241 Speaker 1: Yeah, so talk a little bit about that. So, Yeah, 93 00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: we do a role called, I mean she medical response. 94 00:05:05,921 --> 00:05:08,681 Speaker 4: So we we get dispatched with the AMBOS for a 95 00:05:08,681 --> 00:05:13,441 Speaker 4: priority zero basically a dead person because the MBOs have 96 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,681 Speaker 4: been stretched in recent years. We sort of give them 97 00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,761 Speaker 4: a chop out and nine times out of ten we're 98 00:05:17,801 --> 00:05:18,801 Speaker 4: first on scene. 99 00:05:19,601 --> 00:05:22,681 Speaker 3: Are you classed as a paramedic as well as we're not? 100 00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:24,561 Speaker 1: We haven't got the full training. 101 00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 4: We've just got the sort of early intervention training, mate, 102 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,121 Speaker 4: the DFIB and bagging them up and compressions and all. 103 00:05:29,961 --> 00:05:30,561 Speaker 1: That sort of stuff. 104 00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 4: So yeah, we're probably were We're definitely trained higher than 105 00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:38,561 Speaker 4: your average first aida, but definitely below a paramedic. So yeah, 106 00:05:38,601 --> 00:05:41,921 Speaker 4: some of those jobs can be real, real tricky, mate, 107 00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:46,761 Speaker 4: and real really hard, especially the CID's death, the kids 108 00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:49,361 Speaker 4: deaths and that I've had a few of those, and ye, 109 00:05:50,761 --> 00:05:54,001 Speaker 4: you know, I'll talk about being emotionless than that, but 110 00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:55,601 Speaker 4: they're the sort of jobs where you just sort of 111 00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:58,481 Speaker 4: sit up and think fuck like. And as one job 112 00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 4: in particular, we went went to the house and the 113 00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:06,161 Speaker 4: baby was blue. And I'll never forget when when a 114 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,121 Speaker 4: paramedic said to the mother that, you know, the kid's 115 00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 4: kid hasn't made it. And it's one thing I can't 116 00:06:12,641 --> 00:06:13,361 Speaker 4: get out of my head. 117 00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: Was her scream, like just her whale. 118 00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,281 Speaker 3: Especially as a dad too. 119 00:06:18,561 --> 00:06:19,361 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's. 120 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,881 Speaker 4: Something that sort of hasn't hasn't left my mind for 121 00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:25,841 Speaker 4: a few years. It was just somethings just trigger, you know. 122 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,841 Speaker 4: But you can go to a horrific scene and with 123 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:31,801 Speaker 4: blood and a car accident, it sort of doesn't affect you. 124 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,041 Speaker 4: But you can go to a different scene where this 125 00:06:34,241 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 4: kids or something like that involved, and it's like a fuck, 126 00:06:37,201 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 4: like this is probably affecting me a bit more than 127 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,681 Speaker 4: what I thought. Do you. 128 00:06:42,841 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: Attend more of these type of scenes as opposed to 129 00:06:48,721 --> 00:06:52,241 Speaker 2: burning houses? And I mean, look, obviously bushfires are where 130 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 2: people like fires burning cars, and I think that's pretty 131 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 2: the norm these days with all the stolen cars and that, 132 00:06:58,721 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 2: you know, But yeah, getting into the seriousness of the job, 133 00:07:02,801 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: you know, you're talking about something very, very confronting, traumatic, 134 00:07:06,721 --> 00:07:11,241 Speaker 2: something that could really trigger, you know, especially someone for you, Yeah, 135 00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:13,761 Speaker 2: one as a dad and someone dealing with your own. 136 00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:18,761 Speaker 3: Motions and demons of the past. How do you deal 137 00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:19,001 Speaker 3: with it? 138 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a good question. 139 00:07:22,121 --> 00:07:28,641 Speaker 4: Sim About three years ago, I just completely lost my marbles, mate, 140 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:34,721 Speaker 4: I was crooked, maadles. I was bad to the point 141 00:07:34,761 --> 00:07:39,241 Speaker 4: where you start thinking fucking bad thoughts and and I 142 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,401 Speaker 4: guess everything just caught up with over my life, Like 143 00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:43,281 Speaker 4: it just got to that stage where everything caught up 144 00:07:43,321 --> 00:07:46,441 Speaker 4: with me. And you know, I just had the fog 145 00:07:46,481 --> 00:07:49,681 Speaker 4: every day, like I just fucking you know, I was 146 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,001 Speaker 4: just all tent. 147 00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:53,961 Speaker 1: Through the shoulders. I just I was punting like a 148 00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:58,601 Speaker 1: fucking maniac. Yeah. 149 00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:02,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, So you're basically the life of an addict starting 150 00:08:02,921 --> 00:08:05,721 Speaker 2: to become addicted to something else to around your sorrows 151 00:08:05,761 --> 00:08:07,001 Speaker 2: and your pain and you're hurt. 152 00:08:07,401 --> 00:08:11,921 Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent escapism, and you're self medicating as well. 153 00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:15,441 Speaker 3: No, so that that that that right. 154 00:08:15,281 --> 00:08:18,321 Speaker 2: There is a plus because so many of us do 155 00:08:18,361 --> 00:08:22,601 Speaker 2: self medicate when we're in that that headspace of negativity 156 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:25,081 Speaker 2: and unwell mentally. 157 00:08:25,441 --> 00:08:27,041 Speaker 3: You know, it seems to be the go to. 158 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:31,241 Speaker 2: I guess self medicating when I put it in perspective, 159 00:08:31,361 --> 00:08:34,121 Speaker 2: if you're gambling, will it's a form of addiction, isn't it? 160 00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:37,801 Speaker 4: One hundred percent made we talk about you know, we 161 00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:42,721 Speaker 4: probably associate addiction with you know, drugs, alcohol, gambling, but 162 00:08:43,441 --> 00:08:45,601 Speaker 4: make there's so many different addictions out there. Like I 163 00:08:45,681 --> 00:08:49,481 Speaker 4: know people are addicted to fucking collecting NBA basketball cards, 164 00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:51,641 Speaker 4: you know. Like, and I feel like I've got that 165 00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:55,601 Speaker 4: addictive behavior where it's like when I start punting, like 166 00:08:55,641 --> 00:08:57,801 Speaker 4: I can, I can not have a punt for a month, 167 00:08:57,921 --> 00:09:00,321 Speaker 4: but then I start I'm just fucking reckless, mate. It's 168 00:09:00,321 --> 00:09:03,481 Speaker 4: just that addictive, that addictive fucking behavior. 169 00:09:03,521 --> 00:09:05,721 Speaker 3: You know what what do you do though, what do 170 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:07,521 Speaker 3: you do steve to help you? 171 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,921 Speaker 2: I mean, you're a professional, you're a man, that's you know, 172 00:09:11,921 --> 00:09:15,481 Speaker 2: I had the experience around law enforcement defense for so, 173 00:09:16,361 --> 00:09:18,921 Speaker 2: let's be honest. One would assume that you're you know, 174 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:23,401 Speaker 2: well and truly equipped with the knowledge you know, of 175 00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:27,321 Speaker 2: reaching out or deploying or sorry, you know, debriefing and 176 00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:30,241 Speaker 2: stuff like that. I mean, especially as a fiery I 177 00:09:30,281 --> 00:09:33,201 Speaker 2: would assume, and I hate to use that word assume, 178 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:34,881 Speaker 2: but I'm going to say it because I don't know 179 00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:40,401 Speaker 2: if actually though that there would be something that would 180 00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:43,001 Speaker 2: always be available to you to reach out. 181 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:46,441 Speaker 1: Is that correct? As far is unbelievable. 182 00:09:46,441 --> 00:09:49,281 Speaker 4: And I wish it had been like that back when 183 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:53,081 Speaker 4: I had my first traumatic event, because things may have 184 00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:56,161 Speaker 4: been different, they may not have been. But at the 185 00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:58,321 Speaker 4: end of the day, mate, we're here now and we 186 00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:01,721 Speaker 4: get on with it. But yeah, so I went and 187 00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:05,001 Speaker 4: got some help, mate, I got diagnosed with major to 188 00:10:05,081 --> 00:10:07,321 Speaker 4: pressitive disorder and PTSD. 189 00:10:08,201 --> 00:10:15,081 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but we're living with that, mate, and yeah 190 00:10:15,121 --> 00:10:16,401 Speaker 1: we're moving forward. Mate. 191 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:17,721 Speaker 2: So m 192 00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:26,881 Speaker 3: M m mm hmmmmm.