WEBVTT - THE BREAKUP SHAKE UP 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.640 I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:04.360 she How. 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:06.120 Do I put this? He isn't a fan of my 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:07.800 kissing style with. 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:11.000 The boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.760 a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching them mu. 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:17.239 I love being love, I love Love. 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:25.079 Where's Your Head At Is a podcast that talks all 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:30.440 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:33.440 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:35.800 intimate details, advice, and much more. 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:44.120 Matt, I think congratulations are in order. You just celebrated 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:45.800 your sixth month anniversary. 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:46.600 I did. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:50.000 Indeed, Jenna and I were actually very surprised. We looked 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:51.479 at the date and we're like, hang on, this is 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.400 our six months and god, time goes fast when you're 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:55.040 having fun. 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:55.360 Doesn't it. 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:59.440 Do You know? What's really crazy is Matt and I 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:04.560 andies with Jen and Michael are two months apart to. 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.440 The day to the day. Yeah, who would have thought. 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:10.319 I was thinking about it the other day and I 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:12.920 was thinking about those two months of when you were 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:19.240 in a seeing Michael stage situation situationship. Yes, how wild 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:22.240 that time was for me? And then you must have 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:24.560 started dating Michael around the time I met Jen, and 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:27.280 we are yeah, wow to think here we are now 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:29.360 so happy to have relationships. 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:32.759 You know what, you were getting very upset when things 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.959 were ending with different situationships that you were going through 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:38.199 during that. 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.160 Time, some wild times. 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:42.480 Yeah, and I think I think you got to the 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:44.600 point where you were like, I think the timing is 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.480 right for me. I want a girlfriend, I want to 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:49.200 settle down. That's what I want. 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.520 And then I happened to go on a very magical 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:55.240 date and the rest is history. 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:58.880 The rest is history. We've had so many messages from 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:01.960 you guys talking about the fact that you guys are 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.240 going through breakups and you guys want our advice. We've 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:07.520 also noticed that a lot of our friends seem to 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.400 be going through breakups at the moment. I don't know 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:10.720 if it's that time of year. 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.280 Are something's in the air, something's in the air, and 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:15.440 worry we don't catch it. 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.560 Look, breakups are never easy. So we decided that we 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:20.920 want to do a throwback for you guys. We have 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:24.680 so much good advice, so many great useful tips and 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:28.160 tools to deal with a breakup, whether that be a situationship, 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:32.280 a relationship or anything in between. This is the episode 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:35.600 to really help you, guys, move on from that breakup, 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:39.040 whether it's you going through this friend, give it a 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:40.840 listen and enjoy. Guys. 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:44.520 We are also touch on our very public relationships that 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:46.600 we had and how they break up and how we 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.400 handle them. So make sure you take a listen to 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:52.480 this one. 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.040 Let's dive into this breakup episode. 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:57.520 It doesn't matter if your first or six breakup, they 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:58.680 never get any easier. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.000 Yeah, one hundred percent, And I reckon that a piece 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:03.760 of your heart literally dies every time you go through 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:07.880 a breakup. But in saying that they are amazing for 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:12.200 self development, I think we all learn such valuable lessons 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:15.160 about ourselves. We find out things that we want in 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.440 a partner, things that we don't want in a partner. 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.880 So yeah, they're amazing for our growth. But Matt Tullmy, 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.520 what's the hardest breakup other than your most recent breakup? 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:27.720 What's the hardest breakup that you've gone through? 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.800 Definitely would have to be my ex of two years. 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:37.040 We started dating when I was twenty two, and when 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.040 I started to date her, when I asked her to 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:40.960 be my girlfriend, I was really going through a rough 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:42.680 patch in my life, and I was like, I've got 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.360 to make some changes with what I'm doing. So I 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:49.080 remember I got a girlfriend, I started wrestling, and I 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.280 started like a bowling team, believe or not, all in 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.280 my like the space of like a week. I was 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:56.720 just like, I'm going to change my life now and 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.440 get out of this rut. And she was just really 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.880 good to me, like her energy, the way she was 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:03.480 and like I literally saw like. 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.040 My endgame with her, like the rest of my life. Yeah. 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:09.840 So then when she broke up with me, I took 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.480 it really bad. And I took it as a shock 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:14.320 because obviously we had our problems. No relationship is perfect 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:15.600 and I'm not going to sit here and say that, 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:18.359 but I thought it was nothing we couldn't work on. Yeah, okay, 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.280 so I said like, let's work on it, and then 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.960 she just came back with like, no, she didn't, she 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:23.920 didn't want to work on it. 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.279 So you thought she was the one and maybe she 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.200 didn't see you as her end game. 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:30.159 So yeah, and that was pretty brutal for me to 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:33.560 take upbreaking. Yeah, I didn't take it too well. And 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:37.040 I remember we so we broke up at mine and 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:39.040 then a couple. Like a week later, she said, all right, 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.000 let's catch up and see where you're at. Let's see 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:44.640 where where our heads are at. And then we caught 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:46.960 up at this the local tire restaurant, and I remember 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:50.000 sitting opposite her and I was just like trying everything 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:51.640 I could to get her back, and then. 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:54.760 Unsuccessful scull. 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:56.960 I remember even like the waiter came up and was 0:04:57.000 --> 0:04:58.760 asking for our order and I couldn't even look at him. 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:01.560 I was just sitting there crying, weeping at the table. 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.320 People on different tables were like getting uncomfortable because I 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:05.560 was just sitting there just weeping. 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:06.640 That's awful. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:08.920 But yeah, like you said, you need to go through 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.400 that to grow as a human. And I've learned a 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.000 lot about myself going through. 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.800 That, right, Yeah, and you do. 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:17.880 So what about you, Anna, what's the hardest breakup that 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:19.599 you've been through other than your most recent? 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:24.560 I mean, I would definitely say my relationship that went 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:29.600 for six years. I was with him throughout my whole twenties, 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:32.960 and I got to twenty six and I realized that 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.359 I needed to be by myself and to spread my 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:39.880 wings and see who I was outside of that relationship 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:42.760 because I had literally grown up with him, And that's 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:46.560 the hardest thing about going through a breakup is you're 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.640 not only losing your partner, but you're also losing your 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.400 best friends, so it's such a loss. And we also 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:57.560 lived together, so it was the biggest life adjustment and change. 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:01.120 So I think that was really difficult, and I knew 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.560 that I had really hurt him in breaking up. I 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.440 still feel guilty about it even to this day. So yeah, 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:10.400 I think that was probably like one of, if not 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:12.200 the hardest breakup. 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.200 To sixty years or so one. 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.800 Through your twenties, you're like growing with them, you're learning 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.040 life with them. Yeah, it's even more hectic when you 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:20.520 break up. 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:22.520 Yeah, well we were together. We met when I was 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:25.080 nineteen and we were together until I was twenty six, 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:26.360 so that's. 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:28.599 You know, going through a lot of life lessons with him. 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.080 I think as well, like I felt like if I 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.760 didn't take time to also be single, if I ended 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:36.760 up getting engaged to him or married to him, I 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.839 might regret that that I never had those young single 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:43.680 years of my life and kind of put that to bed. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:46.440 And I think that's a big reason why a lot 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.200 of people break up, because they're not ready to fully 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.560 commit to someone because they don't feel like they've explored 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:56.200 and seen what's happen there. I think you need to 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:59.760 realize that the grass isn't greener, and I think if 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.960 I were into a relationship today, I could comfortably go 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:07.039 into it. I know that the grass isn't greener, and 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.480 I think you learn that through experiences. 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.640 And it wouldn't have been fair to stay with him 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:13.880 if you did have those doubts in your mind, and 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:14.800 those thoughts. 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:17.600 One hundred percent like it would have constantly plagued my mind. 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:20.920 And so that's how I know it was the right decision. 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.560 So what are the different stages of a breakup? 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:27.720 Anna, There's like the so there's denial, We've all been there. 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:29.040 Is that the first stage? 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:33.080 That's the first stage. Then there's the anger, the bargaining, 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:38.320 the depression, the worst part, and finally the best part 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.920 of a break up, the acceptance, when you're just at 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.440 a point where you're like, I've accepted it. You know, 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.800 I'm not going to try and beg for them. What 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.480 part do you think that you were at with your 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:50.800 exit the tire restaurant. 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:54.120 I was definitely at the bargaining stage. 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.120 I was throwing off offers like I'll be like this, 0:07:57.200 --> 0:07:59.440 if you take me back, I'll do this, I can change. 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:04.720 I'll be like but no, I'll totally change my whole personality. 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:07.760 Take me back, I'll be a different guy. But then again, 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:10.000 she probably didn't want a different guy. She just Yeah, 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:15.040 So the bargaining definitely didn't work that time. So it's 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:16.880 back to what's the next dage depression? 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:22.200 Yeah, off to depression depression. So your ex was obviously 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:27.120 breaking up with you, but research has actually found that 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.800 women go through more emotions and physical pain after a 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:34.400 breakup compared to men, and men deal with the pain 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:38.360 later or they move on and never fully heal from 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:39.760 a breakup. Do you agree with that? 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:42.880 Yeah, I don't feel like I've ever completely healed from 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:45.200 any of the breakups so I've gone through. I obviously 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.640 have found closure in them, and I'm not like dwelling 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:50.680 on them or like obsessed with them anymore, But I 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:52.440 feel like there's a part of me that hasn't completely 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.199 healed from each breakup I've been with. 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:58.520 Wow, so pieces of your heart is still mildly broken 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:00.440 from all of your breakup? Yeah? 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:03.480 I mean when I get in love with someone I 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.960 love them, and I'm like committed to them, and I'm 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.960 like give them everything, and I invested in them. So 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:12.120 for me, it's hard for me to completely heal once 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.800 my heart's broken. Honestly, I think it stems from when 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.560 I was younger seeing my parents break up, and I 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:20.400 think I never saw my mom fully get over my dad, 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:23.679 and at such an impressionable age, around like twelve thirteen. Yeah, 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.160 I think that left more of an impression on me 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:30.800 than I originally thought. Yeah, and I guess that I'm 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:32.600 like my mum in that way that it takes me 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:35.600 a while to move on. Obviously, I eventually move on 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.280 and I find closure, but a bit of me still, yeah, 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:39.120 still hurts. 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:40.760 And you're so close to your mama. Would have been 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.680 so hard seeing her go through heartbreak when you're so young. 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:46.000 Yeah, yeah, Well she did a good job at hiding it, 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:47.440 but obviously you could tell. 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:47.760 It was there. 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:49.160 We can tell. Yeah. 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:51.320 Okay, guys, So now to the part of the show 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:52.640 that everyone's been waiting for. 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:58.199 Drum roll, please get excited. Get excited for this one. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:02.240 Tell me about how your dating life has been since 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.120 since Love Island. It's coming off the show. 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.240 Well, Obviously I've never spoken about my breakup with Josh. Yes, 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:10.720 so this is all my relationship. 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.040 Really, this is the first time you're publicly you're going 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:15.960 to speak about your relationship and your breakup with Josh. 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.120 I mean, yeah, I think so. 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.160 Does that give you a little bit of anxiety? 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.240 It does. So I get really bad anxiety, and that 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:28.280 always calls it anxiety because you know anxiety, it's giving 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.400 me a bit of anisal. So me mentioned that, Yeah, 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:33.120 it is the first time I'm going to speak about it. 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.080 I think with my relationship with Josh, as you know, 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:40.280 when we first met, it was like sparks and fireworks 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.520 and we were obsessed with each other and we were 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.880 for months after the show. When you meet someone in 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:50.640 a bubble scenario where there's no outside distractions. We literally 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:52.880 had our phones taken off us, so we were giving 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:58.640 each other twenty four seven attention. Josh and I went 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:03.319 from a lockdown scenario in Love Island, which it technically 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.520 was lockdown, like we couldn't contact our friends and family, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:10.480 We had no phones, there was no outside distractions, only 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:12.440 people that they brought in. We were very much in 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:16.800 a lockdown situation to probably like two and a half 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:19.719 months of freedom, but it wasn't really freedom because our 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:23.400 lives were so strange at that time because we just 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:27.520 come off the show Winning It Together and then went 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:32.440 into another lockdown situation. So our whole relationship of a 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.600 year was a majority of the time spent in lockdown, 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.800 and I guess it did have harsh Do. 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.280 You think if you guys were normal in a normal like, 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.600 if there wasn't a lockdown, you guys would have been 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:44.200 any different? 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:49.040 No, I don't think that Josh and I were meant 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:49.880 to be together. 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:52.240 So Josh was working, you were working. You don't think 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:53.960 it would have been any different likes. I don't think so, 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:55.600 and I think Josh would agree with me as well. 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:59.160 I think our personalities just clash. 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:04.280 Our relationship was very The highs were really high, and 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:08.120 we were obsessive for each other to an unhealthy level, 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:12.720 but then the lows were extremely low, so you could 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:17.000 call it toxic. It was toxic, and I mean we 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:21.280 both said it, so it was a toxic relationship. It 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:24.160 didn't mean we didn't have really great times. And it's 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.800 hard with social media because when we were obsessed with 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.240 each other and having those great times, we'd post about it. 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.040 But when we were arguing till like two in the morning, 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:36.800 screaming at each other there like we weren't posting about 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:38.160 it because what am I supposed to do? 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.679 Hey, guys, did you feel a lot of pressure from 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:45.680 the outside world? Obviously winning and everyone was invested in 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.079 your relationship. Did that bring a certain amount of pressure 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:48.680 to it as well? 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:53.240 Yeah, Like, we obviously were from different states, so I 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:58.800 am Melbourn based and Josh's Sydney based, and we really 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.400 wanted to live together and to give it a go. 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:04.800 I think there was cracks that started to form before 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:08.680 we moved in with one another, and we thought that 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.240 the solution would be to be living in the same 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.400 state and not to be doing like a long distance relationship. 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:16.960 But I guess when we moved in with one another, 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:22.600 we realized that those cracks were funded. Like fundamentally, our 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:26.520 personalities just didn't align. And that's nothing bad on Josh 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:29.520 and nothing bad on me. It's just we weren't what 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:32.600 parts right for one another, what parts you think didn't 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:39.160 It's hard to say. We just see things differently and 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:40.040 have different views. 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:42.000 Values weren't the same. 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.080 Correct, and that's something that you can't change. 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.080 You think different parts of your life totally. 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:51.559 Like I've always dated guys older, like much older, and 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:55.080 Josh is a year younger than me. I've never even 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.240 any on my own age, and I think that was 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.960 an adjustment. Guys are way more immature as well then 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:05.920 girls generally at this age. Right, It's really I'm really generalizing, 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:09.800 but I think as a whole, girls normally date after 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:10.920 the guys date down. 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:13.719 I think my ex was nine years ten years older 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:15.679 than me, and I felt like I was more emotionally 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:19.000 mature sometimes in a certain situations. 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:22.400 In your own brain, I think you are an exception, 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:24.600 Like not a lot of guys at twenty five would 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:28.240 date someone nine years older, Right, That's an exception to 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:31.320 the rule. But yeah, like I think for me, like 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:33.880 we yeah, there was just fundamental things that didn't really 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:37.040 align and it caused a lot of conflict between us 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:43.080 and things like I like my jealousy. Just we've spoken 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.160 about how we're both quite jealous, and sometimes I felt like. 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.000 What would you get jealous about? 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:51.120 It's just really hard, Like obviously I was in a 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.240 six and a half year relationship and had none of 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:55.920 these issues, But when you come off of a show 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:58.560 and you've just like fallen head over heels in love 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:02.880 with this guy and you get your phones back and 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:06.600 then they get hundreds and hundreds of girls messaging them, 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.120 and you know what it's like, you had the DM 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.960 I definitely do. You don't sleep well at night when 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:13.480 stuff like that's going on. 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.920 So you didn't trust Josh or you just didn't feel 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:18.240 comfortable with these messages. 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:24.480 I think it was a bit of both. I think 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.440 maybe I could have had more reassurance in the relationship. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:34.080 But yeah, again, like that's like fundamentally, yeah, work because 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:34.840 of things like that. 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.240 I was obviously there through your whole relationship, you and Josh. 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:40.480 I'm really good friends with both of you, and I 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:44.040 feel like that, like there was nothing worry about there, 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.520 Like that's just like it was happening to me as 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:48.960 well at the same time. You just like they come 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:51.240 and they go those messages, you know what I mean, Like. 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.560 I know, I mean, look, I think it was the 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:57.160 bigger picture of like it was a fresh relationship. There 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:59.520 was the pressure of the show where with a last 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:04.600 standing couple, I think, and there's like we didn't really 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:09.600 set up boundaries because everything just happened so fast and 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:12.280 we were like flying in and out of into stay. 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:14.920 Like you said as well, the pressure for coming from 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.640 the show, and I'm keeping that like look up on 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:20.800 your Instagram, like the look of you guys, like being 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.000 the couple, and like that's what everybody wanted to see, 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.680 cute photos of you guys together. Yeah, And I remember, 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.040 like a lot of my friends, a lot of people 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:29.120 say how cute are Anna and Josh, Like they're like 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:34.240 on Instagram, They're so cute, and I'd sit there and think, fuck, Like, yeah, 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:35.960 we had their. 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.320 Issues, yeah, like everyone does. But I think ours just 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.720 got really intense at the end of the relationship. And 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.320 when we did break up, it was definitely the right time, 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:47.680 like it needed to happen. 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:49.320 I was there that night. 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:55.240 I think before we decided to end the relationship, we 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.160 did go to couples counseling for the last few months 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:03.800 because we felt so much pressure to stay together because 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.480 we didn't want to let everyone down, And I think 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:10.960 that was really hard, Like I felt like, although I 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.640 was really sad about the relationship ending, I also felt 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.280 like I was letting everyone down who believed in Josh 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:21.000 and I as a couple and everyone who spent hours 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:22.440 watching the show. 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.320 And then hours later getting invested in you guys. 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:29.520 Like yeah, yeah, And I think that was way more 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.080 pressure than I could have ever imagined. And I wanted 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.480 to do everything I could to make it work, and 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:37.000 honestly we tried. 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:37.960 Yeah. 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.360 So it was me and my ex you and Josh 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.560 for his birthday, having a couple of drinks, and. 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.440 Yeah, it got pretty drunk. 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.000 I got pretty drunk, and yeah. 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:49.720 We started arguing. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.320 And just really snowballed into something. 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:54.040 That and from that fight we didn't recover. 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.680 Yeah. 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:59.479 Go now I think it was I think we've been 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.040 broken up for eight months. Jeez, sost known. 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:06.080 How did you go with the breakup? Though? 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:11.040 Obviously you're coming off this high pressure relationship, every intense relationship. 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:12.400 How'd you go with the breakup? 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.400 So the breakup from me was the hardest breakup that 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.159 I've ever had to deal with in my life. It 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:20.359 was really hard. 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:22.400 What made it difficult? 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:28.040 So obviously people move on from relationships differently, and everyone 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:31.199 handles them differently. Some people choose to hook up with 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:35.040 someone straight away hate others choose not to. And I 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:37.760 think the day after we broke up, or to maybe 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.199 two days after we broke up, Josh went out and 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:42.280 hooked up with someone, and then my. 0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:46.680 Oh, we went out that night, but I left early. 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:47.840 I was you were there? 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.560 Sorry I forgot and that was the I. 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:52.359 Was getting messages from my exit come home. 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:55.320 Okay, yeah, yes, but. 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:57.439 Back to me. 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.200 So, Josh hooked up with someone relatively quickly, a couple 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:04.600 of days after we broke up, and obviously, in a 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:07.399 normal breakup, I wouldn't know about that and it wouldn't 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.199 hurt me. But because people knew, like it was a 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:14.720 very public relationship, my dms were flooded with people telling 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:15.520 me that. 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:18.400 You're getting messages. What your message is saying. 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:21.560 Josh, Josh's with a girl. I just saw Josh at 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:25.800 a bar with this girl. What's happening? Josh's cheating on you? 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:27.600 So, you guys hadn't gone public yet. 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:31.879 We hadn't told people we weren't together. So my dms 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:35.879 were flooded with people telling me and updating me on 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:38.919