WEBVTT - Brooke's "Coming Out" Story 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.480 Today's episode is recorded on Ranger Country, part of the 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:06.360 Cooler Nation, and I'd like to pay respects to my 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:09.639 elders past and present, and happy listening. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.440 I know you're going to dig this. It's like I've 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:20.040 been given like an extra sprinkle of something. You've got layers, Yeah, 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:20.960 I got layers. 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:24.760 I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers. 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.840 You're making a lot of sense to that girl. No, 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:32.960 I'm done. Let's been too honest to go. 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:39.520 Hi, guys, Maddie is away on his beautiful Europe trip. 0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:41.640 I bet he's having the best time of his life. 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:45.320 And I am in the studio working like a dog now. 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:50.640 No, I really wanted to do a solo episode this 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:54.600 week because I feel like it's been enough. Time has 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:59.360 gone on and evolved, and I feel like we haven't 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:02.560 really caught up. We've you know, Maddie and I are 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:04.479 always on this like a little bit of a hamster 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:07.560 wheel with the podcast, in interviewing people and getting to 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.600 know other people, and I feel like we haven't really 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:14.480 done like an episode where we unpack what has happened 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:18.640 in our lives over time since we first started the podcast, 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:21.520 which is a couple of years ago. Now crazy, right, 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.399 I think a lot of things have changed for me. 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:30.560 I think personally, I'm having this like I guess this 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:34.440 time in my life where I'm so happy where things 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:38.760 are going, that there is so much change, but there's 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:45.280 also so much reflection happening. I sometimes think, well, what 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:49.160 is the next chapter of Brook's life looking like? And 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:51.280 it looks very different to what I thought it would 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.240 be in a good way, in a very good way. 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:58.280 I feel like you guys have first seen me come 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:03.680 to you know, TV when I was twenty three, and 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.600 I'm now thirty, and it's been seven years of my 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:13.480 life being so public and sharing every corner, crevice aspect 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.239 of it. And I thought this would be a nice 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.240 chance for you guys to ask me anything. 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:18.400 Anyways. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:22.639 Blah blah blah, let's get into it. I love a ramble, 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.320 don't I. I love a little tangent. But you know what, 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:27.120 my goal this year is to be a little bit 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:30.240 more concise. So let's go with questions that you guys 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:34.080 have asked me. And I think one of them is 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.520 you're around sexuality. I think you know this is a 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.960 common thing for me to talk about because one I've 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:45.359 always been really proud of my sexuality, and. 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.160 It's all something that I always felt comfortable with. 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:53.520 I think I had some, you know, reservations, especially just 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.079 before going on to the show. I thought, oh god, here, 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:59.839 I'm going on a heater normative show, but I'm definitely queer. 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:01.560 Like do I have to shield that from myself? Do 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:05.240 I have to like hide it? And like, will you 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:06.760 know people make a big deal about it? 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:10.840 Like I had some reservations of getting homophobia of course, 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:15.520 and yeah, luckily I didn't, but I also did in 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:19.440 a way, so like yes, coming to my sexuality off 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.560 the show, one of the main questions I get is 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:26.120 did you actually come out? And I think I didn't 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:29.560 really ever come out in my life. I think my 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:35.080 coming out story or like experience was I played footy 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:38.680 for a very long time, and I'd always been really tomboyish, 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.440 and I'd always been really like I. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:43.480 Guess, just not. 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:50.040 Like overly extroverted in telling people everything, which is kind 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:51.520 of funny now that I have a podcast and I 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:55.880 tell everyone everything. But when I was younger, I in 0:03:55.960 --> 0:04:00.200 high school, I would constantly just keep things to myself. 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:04.760 I was pretty reserved, and then I guess I had 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:06.600 these feelings, but I didn't. 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:07.360 Really share them. 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.520 I often, you know, went to parties as you do 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:15.120 as a high school student, and I would kiss girls 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:18.680 and I would like it, and I didn't really express that. 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:23.520 I had friends in high school that, you know, I 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:26.400 could tell that I felt comfortable with being around who 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.200 I thought also were gay and ended up being gay 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.479 as well, but we didn't really talk about it in 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:35.359 high school, I guess, until sort of out. My first 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.760 girlfriend was when I was nineteen, and we met actually 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.680 at a gay night club. So I used to go, 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.800 you know, play footy, and then a Friday game or 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:49.680 a Saturday night, we would actually go to the club 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:53.240 called the Court, and that was a gay club, and 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:56.320 we would you know often, I would often hook up 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:57.040 with girls. 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:57.560 And I didn't care. 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.920 And I think because I had all my teammates who 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.359 were also gay and hooking up with girls, it didn't 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:06.200 need a coming out. It was just kind of like whatever. 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.400 And then occasionally I would dead a guy. My friends 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.680 would be like, yeah, cool, this is your boyfriend, like whatever. 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.440 And then I met my girlfriend and then we moved 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:18.240 in together, and I guess that was kind of like 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:24.719 my coming out was, but you know, it just it 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:26.560 was just weird. It just it didn't really like my 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:28.640 coming out wasn't really like a thing. I think I 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.719 went to my granddad's house and I took my girlfriend 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:35.479 for lunch, and it was like my granddad was like, 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.640 so nice to bring you a friend, and I remembered 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:42.000 like correcting my granddad and being like, no, Granddad, this 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:44.719 is actually my my like my girlfriend, my partner, and 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.640 he goes, oh, good for you, And then then that 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:48.520 was kind of it. 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:49.960 That was like so chill. 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:52.360 I didn't have a coming out like a party or 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.320 like a uncomfortableness. 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:58.719 I think because I don't know, people didn't. 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.599 People kind of maybe expected that I would be gay 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.800 or just knew or had a feeling, but they never 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:08.839 really like I never really felt uncomfortable about it, which 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:10.640 is kind of a really nice feeling. 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:14.720 Yeah, and I know that is not for some. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.120 I guess I'd put it down to luck and being 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:21.400 in an environment that I guess most of the women 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.560 that were playing footy at that time were queer. 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.640 And there are straight girls that play footy. 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:29.560 I'm not gonna like disregard them, but I think in 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:34.159 an environment where it's just supported, and it's just you know, known, 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.159 and no one really cares, and people care about the 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:39.920 personality of people rather than the sexuality of people. I 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:41.839 think it just made it so much easier. So I 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:42.960 didn't really have a coming out. 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:43.400 Sorry. 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:45.680 I think the coming out part was actually on the 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:49.320 show The Bachelor when I made tabloids and it was 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:54.200 like Brook's big secret and Brooks big bombshell, etc. And 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:57.479 I was like, it's actually not been that of a 0:06:57.480 --> 0:07:00.799 big deal in my personal life. It's just TV life 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:03.440 that it kind of comes to. And I actually had 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:06.839 been with more women than men at that stage of 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:11.320 going on the show, which is kind of crazy if 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:14.800 you just want to side note that, but like, yeah. 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:15.200 I don't know. 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:18.760 I have always liked women and I will always like them, 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:20.880 and I have a beautiful girlfriend now and it's great. 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:21.880 Okay. 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:25.280 Did I feel more pressure dating more men after the show? 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:26.880 Ah? 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:30.760 I feel like the pressure with coming out on the 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:35.320 show was the people at home had known me my 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.480 whole life, being like this is not a secret, and 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:42.960 then me not having like not being able to communicate 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:45.280 with them, like, guys, I'm not making it a big 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.840 deal in here, I promise, like, you know, I kind 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:49.440 of felt like I was going to be judged by 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.280 my own community in a sense because they knew that 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.400 I was gay, and it was just being blown out 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:55.520 of proportion, and I. 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:57.440 Was like, I promise, I'm not being dramatic. 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:01.720 It's the TV, and you know, I obviously knew that 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:05.400 I was in a hetero you know, normative show or 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:08.960 like season of The Bachelor, that it was a dude 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:10.960 and I was interested in him and I had a 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:13.720 lot of things in common with him. 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:18.680 But did I feel pressure to date men after that? No? 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:20.920 Not really. I felt like. 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:27.880 When well, funny enough, like actually after The Bachelor, I 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:30.200 went back home and I went to my normal life. 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:37.680 I started dating a woman, so so funny. I started 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:43.000 dating an AFLW player and we hit it off really well, 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.480 but it was only casual. And then I met my 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.720 actual partner and then we actually started dating, but like 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:53.800 and we dated for like fourteen months. And it's kind 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:55.920 of funny because every time I've dated a man, I've 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:59.839 gone back to women. Isn't that Like that just boils 0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:02.120 my Like if I look at my track record or 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:06.360 the pattern of such, like every time I've been heartbroken 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:11.000 by dude, I go back to women. But then obviously 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.079 it's the chicken or the egg came first. 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:14.679 I don't know. I don't know. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.800 Like my first love was a girl, and she had 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:19.560 no idea that I was madly in love with them. 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:23.960 She had no idea I was madly in love with her. 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:26.240 She was my best friend. She lived across the road 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:29.800 and we hung out like every day, and I was 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:32.040 madly in love with her. And I was only eleven 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:36.320 years old, and you know, but I didn't know myself 0:09:36.360 --> 0:09:38.640 too well, I'm eleven years old, Guys, I don't know. 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:39.800 I'm gonna come too. 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:43.719 I can't say that it was easy, but I can definitely. 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:44.200 Say it gets better. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:49.720 Okay, next question, So how did dating change? Well, let's 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:56.040 say being recognized or and especially for being recognized for 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.280 a dating show and wanting to find the one. I 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.920 think there was this preconceived idea every time that I 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.880 went on a date or went even just like started 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:08.480 seeing someone, that they assume that I was like, I 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:12.080 want to marry them, I want to have kids, and 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.640 like I kind of like jump the gun and assume 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:18.000 that that was something that I wanted straight away. Like 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:20.840 they didn't give me the opportunity to just like casually 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:24.760 date myself and experience that for myself. And I think 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:29.840 a lot of people either like tapped out quick, which 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:32.680 is fine, and I you know, I actually realized that 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:34.440 there was a pattern of that, and I was like, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:35.000 what is it me? 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.000 Like, why am I getting ghosted? 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:40.120 But I think people realize, you know, if they're not 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.839 ready in their life, they think that I'm like up 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:44.720 here and they're down here that they have to meet 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:46.199 me there, and then if they don't meet me there, 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.080 then yeah, they sort of tap out. And I was like, wow, Okay, 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:53.839 that hurt, but that's fine, we move on. Or they 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:57.000 like love bonbed me and went there straight away, and 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:58.880 I maybe wasn't as ready as well. 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:00.319 Like I just feel like. 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.000 Everyone just assumed that I was like on this journey 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:04.920 of finding the one and I needed to find the 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.360 one and never gave me the opportunity to like actually 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.240 day and I actually took the time to do that, 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:13.600 and and I had three years, like I haven't had 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:17.880 a long term relationship since, and I were literally having 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:19.240 a baby and getting married. 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.880 Like that was the idea of you. 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:23.960 Know, going on the show, is that he was the 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.559 one for me, and it actually didn't turn out. 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.960 And it took me three years really too well. 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.439 It actually took me less, but I'm gonna say for 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:40.760 three years until finding mim to realize how much how 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:45.559 much that relationship wouldn't have worked anyways, full stop. But yeah, 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.760 dating was really hard. I think people noticed you or 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:52.520 they like want something from you. I think like sometimes 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:56.080 they're like, oh, well, this girl's famous, Like let's just 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.120 go on the date to see what it's about. 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:00.960 And that's really mean. I'm a person. 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:10.959 Okay, have you ever tipped off paparazzi? Fucking no, And 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:14.640 the fact that people do that fucking baffles me. I 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:18.960 am a person who actually loves my privacy. Like one 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:21.480 thing that I've had to give up in terms of 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:27.319 having some sort of in quotation fame is my privacy. 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:30.000 The fact that I was living in a house in 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:34.360 South Yarra and the day after or a couple of 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.760 days after and I had broken up and it had 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.880 broken out, I had paparazzi following me and my best 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.160 friend in the street, knowing where the fuck I live. 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.040 And I also had them that I've picked up their car, 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.679 that I knew that they were parked down the street. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:52.959 Of my house, Like, is that not fucking creepy? Like, No, 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:57.160 I don't have any relationship with the paparazzi. The only 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.320 path that I know or know of are two people. 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:04.440 I know that Jading guy because he paps all of 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.480 the celebrities at the airport. And I know Ali because 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:12.640 he works for Daily Mail, I think, and he constantly 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.240 is on podcasts. So they're the two paps that I know, 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.280 and I've never tipped them. I have no interest in 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:20.960 tipping them. Why would I tip them, Like what would 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:23.440 be the point. And I'm also not that famous. I 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:27.920 have no interest in having my photos more in the 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:31.200 male like absolutely not, absolutely. 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:31.400 Not, Guys. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.360 I'm actually at a stage where I don't even know 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:37.480 if I enjoy influencing. When I was thinking about it 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:41.440 and I was thinking the things that I enjoy right now, 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:42.040 I'm in love. 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.640 I'm loving like doing my speaking gigs. 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.240 I spoke at a Queer idahobit day the other day 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.199 and I pretty much had everyone in the room crying 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:54.760 because I think storytelling is so powerful and these moments 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.640 I was like, this is what I'm good at. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:58.719 Not making people cry, obviously. 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:03.240 But like telling my story in hopes to inspire our 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.520 young people, and there were multiple young people who were 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:06.560 vulnerable in the room. 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:08.360 There were counselors in the room. 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:11.720 It was local government, and I think, wow, this is 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.160 what I was meant to be doing. Sorry, I didn't 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.760 mean to sound ungrateful. I'm very grateful, I must admit, 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.160 but yeah, I would never tip off paparazzi. Moving on, 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:24.800 I feel like in the last couple of years, if 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.040 you've even doing the podcast and being online, I think 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.160 I always make the time to make sure that I'm 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.400 on the right purpose and path that I. 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:36.960 Need to be on. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.360 Personally, I don't care about what everyone else thinks I 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:42.280 should be doing because I don't give a fuck. Like 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:46.040 the thing is, I get unsolicited advice all the time, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:47.920 like you should do this, and you should do that, 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:49.920 and it's like, I'm gonna do. 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:53.080 What I want to do because it's my life. 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.360 And I think sometimes people want to have they like 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:58.920 think it's a great idea to suggest, and I think, yeah, 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:03.360 suggestions are so fine, but always started with like this 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:06.800 would be a great idea, like or I don't love 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.280 the concept of telling someone you should do this because 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:14.000 you should or should using the word should is like 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:18.080 taking a person's agency away, and I'm like, stop feeling 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:21.280 entitled to people's lives, Like I love sharing my life 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.240 with you guys, but if there are things that I 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:25.640 want to keep personal, I'll keep personal. And you guys 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.080 know that, Like I'm not out here, just you can 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.480 go fucking read my book if you want, like, honest 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:32.080 to God. 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:33.560 Like there's a book plug for you. 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.400 I think for me, the next journey of my life 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.520 is looking pretty fucking good. 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:40.480 I'm not gonna lie. 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:45.760 My sense of self and my relationship has been the 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:49.840 best it's ever been. Like I have felt so comfortable 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:53.680 and so happy that sometimes I like question that this 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:56.640 I can't be this happy, honest to God. 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:58.840 Like I was so fucking depressed last year. I'm sure 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.920 you guys could tell through Podcas that I was like 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:06.240 so unwell and I was just battling through. But I 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:08.080 feel like me and. 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:12.920 I makes me so happy in so many ways, Like 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:16.000 I feel like I've just gained a whole new family 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:19.080 through her, that I've just gained two mums and two 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:20.480 dads on her side. 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:20.880 Of the family. 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:26.600 I can't wait to spend Christmas with our families. Merged, 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:30.120 our dogs, love each other. She's really enjoying living in 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:32.360 Melbourne for the time being. But you know, we have 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.480 to go back to long distance in a matter of time, 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:38.600 which is always the hardest thing. But you know, I 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:40.920 don't know. I have offered whether she wanted to move 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:41.600 to Melbourne. 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:46.200 I don't know. We'll see. That's a TBC, But I 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:46.560 don't know. 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:50.360 I just feel like our future plans for me and 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:53.840 I and my life is that I want to do 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:58.720 the things that I said that I would do, and 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:01.440 I think being I think being a relationship isn't really 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.760 stopping me from doing that. If I want to move overseas, 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:06.640 I feel like mem and I will chat about. 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:07.320 That and it will happen. 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:10.239 If we want to have children, that will happen. If 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:12.720 we want to get married, that will happen. I think 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:16.040 we just absolutely in no rush to do it. And 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:19.600 I think we've only just hit our four months and 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.480 I feel like that time has just flown so quickly 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.240 that I honestly literally felt like I was just getting 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.639 with her yesterday. And I think that's kind of our relationship, 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.560 is that we've experienced so much in such a short 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:34.639 period of time, but also have so much to experience 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:37.760 in our future. And I think the fact that I 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:41.480 can actually think about our future together is actually so exciting. 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:44.359 Like I'm not just saying this to say it for 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:48.000 the Bachelor, Like you know, when you're in a relationship 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:52.440 post the show, you have to actually physically figure out 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.880 what your answers are to these questions, and to be fair, 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:58.640 I'm just figuring them out in a moment. Like Mim 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.120 and I got questioned about how we deal with conflict, 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:04.240 It's like, well, we haven't really come up to that, like, well, 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.520 sometimes we, you know, have little biffs, but everyone does. 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.960 And hers is avoidant and mine is. 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:11.720 Go straight for the throat. 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:16.880 But I feel like that's because I just don't want 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:19.320 to waste time with the riff raff and the arguing 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:20.640 and the conflict and the. 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:21.400 Blah blah blah. 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:23.480 Not that we ever do that, But there's just so 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:25.399 much love happening in my life right now, and I 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:28.680 feel really excited. I have two beautiful housemates, our house 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:34.760 is full, our families are, you know, lovely. 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:35.800 I don't know what to say. 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:39.000 I feel like it's just all on up for me 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:41.840 at the moment, and it feels really good. But do 0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:43.720 I have any fears with being in a relationship in 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:44.400 the public eye. 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.280 Absolutely. I feel like the fact that we. 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:51.359 Just did our first job together in a relationship, so 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:54.520 like our first actual public, like kind of hard launched 0:18:54.640 --> 0:18:58.239 job together, which is kind of weird to say, is like, 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.280 we are going to be one of those like public relationships. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.600 But I don't think to the point of sharing everything 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:06.879 in our life. And I think there'll be boundaries and 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:10.239 there'll be communication between mem and I with what we 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:12.680 feel comfortable sharing and what we don't. And I think 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:18.159 that's what makes this relationship so much worth it or 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:23.960 so much more worthwhile, because the communication is happening and 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:28.920 it's a respect And I think in previous relationships, yeah, 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:33.280 there was no respect in a sense, like it hadn't 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:37.000 been built yet. I think people forget that when I 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:39.960 came off the show, the day of finale was the 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:42.200 day that my sister passed away and I hadn't even 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:45.520 known yet. And I think that people forget that grief 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:49.640 comes in so many different ways, and navigating a new relationship, 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:52.920 a long distance relationship, and a relationship off a TV 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:56.400 show when your sibling has died is probably the most 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.160 difficult fucking thing you could ever go through, and having 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:04.040 to navigate get COVID and getting into WA on it 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:08.000 through like borders, and then in two weeks of isolation, 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:11.760 organizing a funeral, So organizing a funeral for your sibling 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:16.000 going through flowers and coffins, which is awful, navigating a 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.240 long distance relationship where your partner can't even be at 0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.200 the funeral because they can't either get into WA or 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:25.000 they can't you can't be seen together with them. Like 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:29.840 our relationship started off rocky, and it started off pretty shitty, 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:34.440 and we tried our absolute hardest to like obviously make 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.399 it work. I don't want to go too much into it, 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:41.479 but I'm just saying, like the relationship that I'm in 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:51.120 now is starting off with so much time, care, respect, conversation, 0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:56.160 like it's it's giving us a good chance to actually 0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:58.879 like take our time, and then if anything happened in 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:01.600 this time, I feel like we have the best foundations, 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.719 the best base to deal with whatever comes up. And 0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:07.359 that's the difference. Not to compare, but I'm just saying 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:11.320 like that was the last relationship long term that I've 0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:15.359 been properly in. I wouldn't even call relationship like a 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:18.360 serious relationship because it was like three. 0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:22.280 Months and then he was out. So yeah, anyways, boring story. 0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.040