1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apoday Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,001 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,281 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:29,321 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. Get ready for 8 00:00:29,361 --> 00:00:32,361 Speaker 1: your next level of self. Hello everybody, and welcome back 9 00:00:32,361 --> 00:00:35,840 Speaker 1: to She Rises. Actually, Tiana, this is part two of 10 00:00:36,001 --> 00:00:39,841 Speaker 1: What Women Really Mean. You haven't listen to part one. 11 00:00:40,001 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: It's just a bit of fun, lighthearted things. I feel 12 00:00:42,081 --> 00:00:45,081 Speaker 1: like we've had a lot of big conversations lately, some 13 00:00:45,081 --> 00:00:48,441 Speaker 1: really emotional ones, some heavy ones, which is all great 14 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,681 Speaker 1: and so beautiful in their own way, but just having 15 00:00:50,681 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: fun so different. 16 00:00:52,001 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 2: Absolutely have a little bit of a giggle, you know what. 17 00:00:53,961 --> 00:00:55,761 Speaker 2: We've been laughing a whole lot lately. 18 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,641 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I've had that sleeper at my house. 19 00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,361 Speaker 1: Oh it couldn't stop. 20 00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:02,521 Speaker 2: And then at my house, yes, far every time we're 21 00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:06,401 Speaker 2: together lately, we've just been cackling, laughing our heads up, 22 00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:08,081 Speaker 2: deep belly laughs, and like we kind of want to 23 00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:08,601 Speaker 2: bring that here. 24 00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:12,201 Speaker 1: Yes, So these are things that we say, but what 25 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,081 Speaker 1: we actually mean when we say it's very relatable. Don't 26 00:01:15,121 --> 00:01:17,761 Speaker 1: a just if you don't say these things? All right, 27 00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,041 Speaker 1: I'll go first. Okay. So something that I'll say to 28 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:22,401 Speaker 1: Steve often is like do I even look hot? 29 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:22,521 Speaker 2: Like? 30 00:01:22,521 --> 00:01:24,481 Speaker 1: Do you still find me attractive? Like? What do you 31 00:01:24,521 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: like about me? Out of ten? What am I now? Oh? 32 00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: My god? They tell me everything that you love about me? Yeah? 33 00:01:28,761 --> 00:01:30,681 Speaker 1: I just want like a big boost. Yeah, and I 34 00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: want to hear it from him and I want. 35 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 2: Specifics, yes, like tell me in detail, Yeah, how much 36 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,241 Speaker 2: you're in love with me? 37 00:01:36,321 --> 00:01:38,361 Speaker 1: And how much you're obsessed with me. If he says like, 38 00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:40,161 Speaker 1: oh you look cute, I'm like, okay, I'm changing. I 39 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: wanted to look sexy, so no, no, no you look sexy. 40 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:43,961 Speaker 1: I'm like no, no, doesn't mean it now? Or like 41 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,441 Speaker 1: you look fine? Fine? Fine? Do I look like I'm 42 00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:50,361 Speaker 1: going for fine? Yes? Do you how long it took 43 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,761 Speaker 1: me to get to look like this? I'll pick from 44 00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:56,001 Speaker 1: another three outfits? Yeah, literally, I wrote down and tell 45 00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,721 Speaker 1: me I'm the hottest one alive before I shave my 46 00:01:57,761 --> 00:02:01,041 Speaker 1: head and move to Italy. Stop it. 47 00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:03,041 Speaker 2: The next part, can you take a photo of me, 48 00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:05,361 Speaker 2: what do you really mean when you ask to take 49 00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:07,601 Speaker 2: a photo? I want at least two hundred, and I 50 00:02:07,601 --> 00:02:09,321 Speaker 2: want you to keep tapping and I want you to 51 00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:10,961 Speaker 2: direct me as you're taking them and get like the 52 00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:12,641 Speaker 2: best photo you can possibly find and. 53 00:02:12,641 --> 00:02:14,281 Speaker 1: Have it on live. So it literally means you have 54 00:02:14,321 --> 00:02:15,201 Speaker 1: like six hundred photos. 55 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,761 Speaker 2: Actually, like I want you to like construct this photoshoot 56 00:02:17,841 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 2: right now, because you're in one perfect done. 57 00:02:20,081 --> 00:02:27,361 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can do absolutely Okay. I said this to 58 00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,721 Speaker 1: Steve all the time. I don't mind what movie we watch, 59 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,041 Speaker 1: absolutely do mind. I don't want anything aliens. I don't 60 00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: want anything like fake with monsters and spaceships and stuff like. 61 00:02:36,441 --> 00:02:39,401 Speaker 1: I want action. It has to be sex scenes with 62 00:02:39,641 --> 00:02:42,561 Speaker 1: hot people. Please, fair enough, like what you like? I 63 00:02:42,561 --> 00:02:44,121 Speaker 1: do like what I like and listen with the girls, 64 00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:45,761 Speaker 1: and I want something like Me and Girls or. 65 00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:51,281 Speaker 2: Bridesmaids, romantic comedy. Yeah, different, different mood. Yes, I want action. 66 00:02:51,401 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: I want crime and some hot sex scenes. Yeah. 67 00:02:54,161 --> 00:02:57,561 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know it's so funny, but I used to 68 00:02:57,561 --> 00:03:00,961 Speaker 2: say this in my last relationship. Yeah, but like blessing 69 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: me so sweet, he like only ever wanted to watch 70 00:03:02,761 --> 00:03:05,441 Speaker 2: like documentaries, oh boring some time. 71 00:03:05,481 --> 00:03:07,081 Speaker 1: You know, like you got to be in the mood 72 00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,121 Speaker 1: for Oh, you really do. 73 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,081 Speaker 2: And it's great because, like you learn so much, it's 74 00:03:10,121 --> 00:03:12,321 Speaker 2: so fun and sometimes, like David Attenbrant like it's sometimes 75 00:03:12,361 --> 00:03:13,681 Speaker 2: it's the mood and it's what you want. 76 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,041 Speaker 1: But like not on a Friday afternoon. Yeah, I don'tt 77 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: to you out to watch a movie, like, let me 78 00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:20,001 Speaker 1: pick the movie. Yeah, cute. 79 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 2: When I say I miss you, this doesn't apply to you, 80 00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 2: but it means that I'm low key, horny, bit emotional 81 00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:29,241 Speaker 2: and want you to say something poetic, that you're obsessed 82 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,121 Speaker 2: with me and tell me how much you've been yearning 83 00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: for my love. 84 00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:36,641 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm trying to make it cute. 85 00:03:36,681 --> 00:03:39,041 Speaker 1: I miss you, Yes, love that I miss you. Give 86 00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:43,121 Speaker 1: me attention, That's what it really means. Yeah, okay, So 87 00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:45,841 Speaker 1: moving on to some best friend ones, text me when 88 00:03:45,881 --> 00:03:47,521 Speaker 1: you're home, because if you don't text me, what I 89 00:03:47,521 --> 00:03:48,881 Speaker 1: actually mean when I say that is I'm going to 90 00:03:48,921 --> 00:03:51,201 Speaker 1: assume your kidnapped, something really bad has happened to me, 91 00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:53,321 Speaker 1: or you fucking hate my guds you don want to 92 00:03:53,321 --> 00:03:54,001 Speaker 1: hang out with me again? 93 00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:59,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're gonna block me, yes, Like, why aren't 94 00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:01,921 Speaker 2: you responding to my seven voice messages that I lived 95 00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:02,361 Speaker 2: on read. 96 00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:04,921 Speaker 1: Can I tell a story. Yes, recently, you went on 97 00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:07,121 Speaker 1: a date with a man and I had not heard 98 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,961 Speaker 1: from you, and you were going from she Kill the 99 00:04:08,961 --> 00:04:11,241 Speaker 1: place and you said you would text me. You said 100 00:04:11,281 --> 00:04:13,201 Speaker 1: you give me the updates because you hadn't met him before. 101 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:16,081 Speaker 1: It's like paranoid as fuck. Yeah, oh my gosh, we 102 00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:19,041 Speaker 1: don't know this man. And I called the place that 103 00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:26,041 Speaker 1: you're at. Hello, I'm just after a Tiana Bundello. She did. 104 00:04:26,161 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: She called the place that I was at did and 105 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: I got through. She was like hello, Like, okay, you're alive. 106 00:04:30,481 --> 00:04:32,521 Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I'm good, babe. Sorry, oh my god, 107 00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:39,041 Speaker 1: that was the best busy I'm kidding, but yeah, like 108 00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:40,681 Speaker 1: that's me. We're texting in your home, like you're gonna 109 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,561 Speaker 1: say you're gonna text me when you meet him, and 110 00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:44,761 Speaker 1: you're gonna do something. And then it's been six hours. 111 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,641 Speaker 1: I literally said to Steve, what if he's met at her. 112 00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:48,921 Speaker 1: He's like, calm down, babe, I'm like, I haven't heard 113 00:04:48,961 --> 00:04:50,401 Speaker 1: from her. It's very unlike her. 114 00:04:51,681 --> 00:04:53,321 Speaker 2: He was so funny, like I was obviously like in 115 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,241 Speaker 2: my own little world, and I was like so happy 116 00:04:55,281 --> 00:04:57,121 Speaker 2: when they said, I've got Ashy bind on the phone 117 00:04:57,161 --> 00:04:59,681 Speaker 2: here for you. I was like, ash, I was like, 118 00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:00,281 Speaker 2: it's my girl. 119 00:05:00,521 --> 00:05:02,161 Speaker 1: I canna hear him the background talking. I was like, 120 00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:04,961 Speaker 1: he's probably thinking you've got a psychotic best friend. No worry. 121 00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:07,601 Speaker 1: I was like, so happy, job to protect you. It 122 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: was honestly the best. I was like, she loves me. 123 00:05:11,641 --> 00:05:13,681 Speaker 1: I'm sure you do the same for me. Oh. Absolutely 124 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,961 Speaker 1: scary when your friend goes out and like a date 125 00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:18,561 Speaker 1: and it wasn't just like a casual coffee you know, 126 00:05:18,561 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: it was a proper day, like a long date. Yeah, 127 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: but I want to make sure you're okay for okay. 128 00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: Next one's you. I'll be ready in ten. She's not 129 00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:31,761 Speaker 1: ready in ten, No you, and makes it you're both 130 00:05:31,761 --> 00:05:32,161 Speaker 1: bad at this. 131 00:05:32,241 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 2: I need at least half an hour, yes, yeah, but 132 00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:35,321 Speaker 2: I'm aware of it. 133 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,801 Speaker 1: It's similar to like, oh, I'll just put a little 134 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:39,441 Speaker 1: bit of makeup on. It's like you still need time, yeah, 135 00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:40,401 Speaker 1: make up, that's true. 136 00:05:40,521 --> 00:05:43,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, although you have helped me get better at this. Yes, yes, 137 00:05:43,921 --> 00:05:45,801 Speaker 2: but also what I say when I mean i'll be 138 00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:48,001 Speaker 2: ready in ten, like give me at least twenty five. 139 00:05:47,921 --> 00:05:50,561 Speaker 1: Yes, perfect, twenty five. I've learned yeah. Yeah, I'll still 140 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,041 Speaker 1: get there early. See why you'll get there early and 141 00:05:52,081 --> 00:05:54,721 Speaker 1: working scroll or work. You know that I'm going to 142 00:05:54,761 --> 00:05:56,161 Speaker 1: take another twenty or just come and lay in your 143 00:05:56,161 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 1: bed and hang that's true. Yeah. And also I've gotten 144 00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: better you have. I'm given proved working on it. Yeah, 145 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,241 Speaker 1: you've been turning up early to my house. Pet me, 146 00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:05,561 Speaker 1: I'm working on it. Yeah, it's good, it's very good. 147 00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:07,841 Speaker 1: Go shut up for my girl, you know. Can I 148 00:06:07,841 --> 00:06:10,601 Speaker 1: have a waiting on me? Love it? This is best 149 00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:12,881 Speaker 1: friend edition. So I want to come over and hang out. 150 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:15,041 Speaker 1: Oh no, we're not just hanging out. We're going to 151 00:06:15,161 --> 00:06:17,161 Speaker 1: unpack all of your childhood trauma. You need to tell 152 00:06:17,201 --> 00:06:19,321 Speaker 1: me what you're upset about. You to tell me what happened, 153 00:06:19,361 --> 00:06:21,521 Speaker 1: every detail of your day yesterday they did not see you. 154 00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:25,161 Speaker 1: And yeah, it's never going to be fluffy. Yeah, we're 155 00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:26,921 Speaker 1: not just hanging out. I don't just sit there in silence. 156 00:06:27,161 --> 00:06:31,121 Speaker 2: We're going to go over that thing. Yes, then when 157 00:06:31,121 --> 00:06:32,761 Speaker 2: they're in silent, we're still be up though we do. 158 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:35,921 Speaker 1: But I can't pull you out because multitasking. I can't 159 00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:39,281 Speaker 1: help you. Yeah, it's really not a strong seer. No, 160 00:06:39,401 --> 00:06:41,281 Speaker 1: it's a really not a strength. I really need to 161 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: learn that. You can't because I'll start yapping to her 162 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,561 Speaker 1: while she's doing something and then she'd be like, I'm sorry, 163 00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:46,761 Speaker 1: I didn't hear a word you said, Jell. 164 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,361 Speaker 2: I know it's so annoying, but I'm like, we've spoken 165 00:06:49,361 --> 00:06:51,321 Speaker 2: about this. I think maybe maybe it's a mom thing. 166 00:06:51,401 --> 00:06:53,921 Speaker 1: I think so. So you have to learn how to multitask. 167 00:06:53,961 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 2: Otherwise you just you know things happening at once, whereas 168 00:06:56,921 --> 00:06:59,121 Speaker 2: like I'm my focus right now and make only foks 169 00:06:59,521 --> 00:07:00,321 Speaker 2: at the time, and I just. 170 00:07:00,281 --> 00:07:02,081 Speaker 1: Need to get better at saying hey, can I tell 171 00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,721 Speaker 1: you something? Yeah, I could have just been like. 172 00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:06,481 Speaker 2: Or like, if I'm on phone, i'm doing a work task, 173 00:07:06,521 --> 00:07:08,561 Speaker 2: it's yes, when I come up, I'm fully present. 174 00:07:08,681 --> 00:07:11,121 Speaker 1: But when I'm doing some fully long I'm underwater, I 175 00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:13,641 Speaker 1: can't breathe. Let me just come up for breath. Basically, 176 00:07:13,841 --> 00:07:16,521 Speaker 1: it's the same thing. Really, Yeah, so I think it 177 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,441 Speaker 1: is one thing. Yeah, it must be. 178 00:07:18,601 --> 00:07:21,841 Speaker 2: You have to learn gental. My sister who I live with, 179 00:07:21,921 --> 00:07:25,841 Speaker 2: she's really good at it. She she's fucking super human 180 00:07:25,881 --> 00:07:29,081 Speaker 2: at it. Actually, she's got like three little kiddies solo parenting, 181 00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:31,241 Speaker 2: and she will sit and listen to my shit too, 182 00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:32,401 Speaker 2: and I'm just like, thank you. 183 00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:34,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, she'd be better at me because she's solo parenting. 184 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,281 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm pretty good at it, but she'd 185 00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:38,481 Speaker 1: be even better. I reckon, I don't think better just 186 00:07:39,401 --> 00:07:41,121 Speaker 1: at it. Yeah. I think she'll know you though, because 187 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,521 Speaker 1: she's had to learn that's the thing, Like she has to. Yeah, 188 00:07:43,601 --> 00:07:45,081 Speaker 1: she can't just do one thing at a time because 189 00:07:45,081 --> 00:07:46,521 Speaker 1: she's sucking three little humans being. 190 00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:48,521 Speaker 2: Like, yes, she does have to be on all the time, 191 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:51,001 Speaker 2: especially like solo parenting. Imagine it would be you're the 192 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:54,281 Speaker 2: sole person they go to. Yeah you know, yeah, do 193 00:07:54,321 --> 00:07:54,761 Speaker 2: you hate me? 194 00:07:57,441 --> 00:07:59,441 Speaker 1: What it really means is I'm just checking because I'm 195 00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:01,601 Speaker 1: having an anxious moment. Yes, I just gonna make sure 196 00:08:01,601 --> 00:08:03,641 Speaker 1: we're all good. Just want to check, just want to check. 197 00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:07,241 Speaker 2: We'll hang out and voice on each other, so I 198 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,441 Speaker 2: just want to check that we're okay. 199 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,961 Speaker 1: Did I say something? So I think I might have 200 00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,201 Speaker 1: said something? Do you feel off? Are you okay? What's 201 00:08:13,241 --> 00:08:14,641 Speaker 1: going on? Because I'm anxious as far. 202 00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:17,481 Speaker 2: I think you're gonna leave me and I'm thinking West 203 00:08:17,521 --> 00:08:19,441 Speaker 2: case scenarios to please soothe me before I spiral. 204 00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:23,041 Speaker 1: Yes, literally, so funny or just if one of us 205 00:08:23,121 --> 00:08:24,961 Speaker 1: is a little bit off too. We always just check 206 00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:27,601 Speaker 1: that it's not each other that's caused it. Yes, we're like, 207 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,561 Speaker 1: we definitely do that. Could we taken this personally and 208 00:08:29,561 --> 00:08:31,441 Speaker 1: I could be assuming. However, I just want to make 209 00:08:31,441 --> 00:08:33,641 Speaker 1: sure you're okay. What I really mean is do you 210 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,041 Speaker 1: hate me? Yeah? Because if you hate me, I'm not 211 00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:38,281 Speaker 1: going to be okay. Yeah? And was it me? Yeah? 212 00:08:38,281 --> 00:08:43,121 Speaker 1: They put you in a foul mood? Absolutely not. Never, No, 213 00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:46,761 Speaker 1: it never is okay, So we've got some mum edition once, 214 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:50,721 Speaker 1: so I'll do it myself. What I really mean is 215 00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,561 Speaker 1: I'm actually pretty pissed that you could see that I 216 00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:55,041 Speaker 1: was doing something and you didn't offer to help, Like 217 00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:56,881 Speaker 1: I don't want to do the fucking bins, yeah, which 218 00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:58,881 Speaker 1: is actually I never did the bins anymore. Let's see's away. 219 00:08:59,001 --> 00:09:01,041 Speaker 1: You gave ten days, I've done the bins. When he's home, 220 00:09:01,081 --> 00:09:03,361 Speaker 1: he does bins. Yes, that'd be an example. He sees 221 00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:04,841 Speaker 1: me doing the bins and I'll say, funck, I'll just 222 00:09:04,881 --> 00:09:07,681 Speaker 1: do myself, babe. He's like, oh, no, you're not. I'm 223 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,041 Speaker 1: gonna take it over. You don't have to do those bins, babes. 224 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:10,601 Speaker 1: I've got it, you know. 225 00:09:10,681 --> 00:09:12,721 Speaker 2: I feel like that would come out when, like say, 226 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,721 Speaker 2: a partner or whoever does it, but they don't do 227 00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:16,601 Speaker 2: it in your timeline. 228 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,121 Speaker 1: Yes, then it's like true. 229 00:09:18,281 --> 00:09:19,681 Speaker 2: If they don't do it in the timeline that you 230 00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:22,081 Speaker 2: constructed in your head, then you're now doing the task 231 00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:22,881 Speaker 2: because they didn't do it. 232 00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:26,161 Speaker 1: Yes, that's so true. Well, yeah, that's fine, I already 233 00:09:26,161 --> 00:09:29,001 Speaker 1: did it. I think for moms too, well, I don't 234 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,281 Speaker 1: know if other mums relate to this, but for me, 235 00:09:31,441 --> 00:09:35,001 Speaker 1: a clean space helps me to relax. So if he 236 00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:36,961 Speaker 1: says he's gonna do the dishes or something like sometimes 237 00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:38,561 Speaker 1: Steve will say it at night, I'm gonna do it 238 00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:40,641 Speaker 1: the morning. How you bother? Now, I'm like, absolutely not, 239 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,801 Speaker 1: I'll just do it, And I am annoyed because you 240 00:09:42,801 --> 00:09:45,041 Speaker 1: said you're gonna do it. But for me, waking up 241 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,001 Speaker 1: to a clean kitchen starts my day off on the 242 00:09:47,081 --> 00:09:49,041 Speaker 1: right foot. If I wake up to chaos and mess, 243 00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:51,401 Speaker 1: it just makes me feel like I've got another extra 244 00:09:51,401 --> 00:09:52,601 Speaker 1: thing I've got to do and I've only got an 245 00:09:52,641 --> 00:09:54,921 Speaker 1: hour to get everyone out of the door. Putting myself. Yeah, 246 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:58,641 Speaker 1: it's stressful. So yeah, that can definitely show up in relationships. 247 00:09:58,721 --> 00:10:01,201 Speaker 1: Especially for mums. I feel like, don't let them do 248 00:10:01,241 --> 00:10:04,081 Speaker 1: it by themselves. I'm very lucky. Steve is very hands on, 249 00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:07,281 Speaker 1: like there's no job that's too Oh, I shouldn't do that. 250 00:10:07,401 --> 00:10:09,361 Speaker 1: He helps out with everything. If one's doing the bath, 251 00:10:09,361 --> 00:10:11,001 Speaker 1: the other's doing the kitchen, if one cooks, the other's 252 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,521 Speaker 1: cleaning it up. You know, we're good like that, Thank goodness. 253 00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:15,161 Speaker 1: I would have a lot of resentment. Don't think I 254 00:10:15,161 --> 00:10:17,121 Speaker 1: could be with the man that didn't have equal hands 255 00:10:17,161 --> 00:10:19,481 Speaker 1: on like Beau. So she because I'm a working parent 256 00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:21,481 Speaker 1: as well, yes, maybe different if I was to stay 257 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,761 Speaker 1: at home mum. Yeah, because we're both working. I'm like, 258 00:10:23,801 --> 00:10:26,241 Speaker 1: we both need to pull our way to home. Yes there. 259 00:10:27,241 --> 00:10:29,601 Speaker 1: I Actually I am pretty good at this one. But sometimes 260 00:10:29,761 --> 00:10:32,601 Speaker 1: I will pre say we're leaving in five minutes. We 261 00:10:32,681 --> 00:10:34,521 Speaker 1: may not be leaving in five minutes, but I'm going 262 00:10:34,561 --> 00:10:36,961 Speaker 1: to say that to get everyone else organized, because you 263 00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:39,521 Speaker 1: guys take way longer than me to get ready, so 264 00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:42,121 Speaker 1: that's smart. Or pre say five minutes to go and 265 00:10:42,161 --> 00:10:44,921 Speaker 1: it's like they're watching something, or often have to give 266 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,801 Speaker 1: Tyler account dines and say five minutes to go, and 267 00:10:46,801 --> 00:10:48,281 Speaker 1: then I'm like, all right, everyone get the shoes on. 268 00:10:48,561 --> 00:10:50,841 Speaker 1: Then by the time I'm ready, everyone's already out the door. 269 00:10:50,921 --> 00:10:52,641 Speaker 1: Oh that's smart. I just like pre frame. 270 00:10:52,761 --> 00:10:54,521 Speaker 2: I've noticed you do this with Tyler. With bedtime, you 271 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:56,601 Speaker 2: like ten minutes still, bed time five? Five minutes to 272 00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,601 Speaker 2: a bedtime, one more minute. Yes, by the time the 273 00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:00,561 Speaker 2: minute comes, she's like, oh type of beds, he's ready. 274 00:11:00,601 --> 00:11:02,761 Speaker 2: But if I was to just spring that on her nap, 275 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:03,721 Speaker 2: not happening. 276 00:11:03,801 --> 00:11:10,841 Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, she likes to be Yeah, yeah, workes a treat. Okay. 277 00:11:11,281 --> 00:11:15,521 Speaker 1: When a woman says, we'll see, absolutely not, but I'm 278 00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:17,601 Speaker 1: tired and I cannot be fucked with a debate. We'll 279 00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:20,241 Speaker 1: revisit this later. Yeah, you know what's coming back up? 280 00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:23,361 Speaker 1: You know what I hear. Well, that's my mum in 281 00:11:23,401 --> 00:11:26,201 Speaker 1: my head. Yes, we'll see I mean no, or we'll see. 282 00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:30,241 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say I told you so later. Yes, yep, 283 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,881 Speaker 1: oh my god, yes, oh this is very relatable. My 284 00:11:33,921 --> 00:11:36,761 Speaker 1: next one, I just need five minutes of peace. When 285 00:11:36,801 --> 00:11:40,041 Speaker 1: a woman, particularly a mother, says this actually means I'm 286 00:11:40,081 --> 00:11:41,961 Speaker 1: on the verge of a nervous breakdown and considering running 287 00:11:41,961 --> 00:11:46,441 Speaker 1: away to a silent monastery. When you want five minutes, 288 00:11:46,481 --> 00:11:49,001 Speaker 1: you are normally on the edge, get a snap. You're 289 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,641 Speaker 1: gonna lose your shit. You known lose your marbles. You're impatient, 290 00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:54,241 Speaker 1: you're just not coping. You literally just you actually do 291 00:11:54,321 --> 00:11:56,561 Speaker 1: need five minutes. Sometimes are just hide in my wardrobe, 292 00:11:56,561 --> 00:11:59,681 Speaker 1: just have a minute to breathe. If they're like chaotically fine, 293 00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,001 Speaker 1: which there are a lot, at the moment, I'm like, 294 00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:03,641 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to my wardrobe. Take some big breasts, 295 00:12:03,641 --> 00:12:06,681 Speaker 1: because parenting is not about them. It's about how regulated 296 00:12:06,721 --> 00:12:08,441 Speaker 1: I can be to be able to hold their storm 297 00:12:08,681 --> 00:12:10,481 Speaker 1: and bring calm to their storm. If I go in 298 00:12:10,601 --> 00:12:12,601 Speaker 1: or heat it, it's gonna make it ten times worse. Yeah, 299 00:12:12,721 --> 00:12:14,561 Speaker 1: So sometimes it's better just to walk away. My mum 300 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,441 Speaker 1: said it when we were little. Sometimes she would just 301 00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:18,281 Speaker 1: lock us in our rooms for five minutes and she 302 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,361 Speaker 1: would go outside and have a cigarette and then come 303 00:12:20,361 --> 00:12:22,121 Speaker 1: back to us because she's like, if I didn't do that, 304 00:12:22,361 --> 00:12:24,241 Speaker 1: I would have reacted and maybe smacked you, and he 305 00:12:24,281 --> 00:12:26,081 Speaker 1: want to smack you fair enough, So go away and 306 00:12:26,081 --> 00:12:27,441 Speaker 1: calm and then come back and be the mum I 307 00:12:27,441 --> 00:12:28,881 Speaker 1: want to be. Well. I love that. It's like that's 308 00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:32,121 Speaker 1: really cool. Yeah, I like that. It's like better parenting. Yes, 309 00:12:32,121 --> 00:12:35,001 Speaker 1: and it's like you are human. There's only so much 310 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:37,601 Speaker 1: you can handle, you know, so whatever tools you need, 311 00:12:37,921 --> 00:12:39,961 Speaker 1: that's just five minutes out, go take it. So true. 312 00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,321 Speaker 2: And when you're at your teather, you're at your limit, 313 00:12:42,441 --> 00:12:44,921 Speaker 2: like any little thing can trigger you and push. 314 00:12:44,761 --> 00:12:45,241 Speaker 1: You over the edge. 315 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:47,281 Speaker 2: Yes, it's like, if you need that five minutes, you 316 00:12:47,321 --> 00:12:47,961 Speaker 2: take that five minutes. 317 00:12:47,961 --> 00:12:50,401 Speaker 1: It's very hard with a baby if they're like screaming NonStop, 318 00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:51,921 Speaker 1: because like you don't just want to chuck them in 319 00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:54,801 Speaker 1: the cot, leave them screaming. But save Taj and Tala 320 00:12:54,801 --> 00:12:56,481 Speaker 1: are fighting. Like Steve said to me once, he was like, 321 00:12:56,561 --> 00:12:58,561 Speaker 1: they're fine, they're just having an argument. Let them sort 322 00:12:58,561 --> 00:13:00,761 Speaker 1: it out. Can't jump in every time they have an argument. 323 00:13:00,761 --> 00:13:02,161 Speaker 1: If you need to go take some breasths or take 324 00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:04,001 Speaker 1: some breaths, I'll be okay. They might yell at each 325 00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,001 Speaker 1: other for a couple of minutes, but the okay, Wow, 326 00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:07,961 Speaker 1: it's so true, like what's gonna happen if they fight? 327 00:13:08,361 --> 00:13:10,921 Speaker 1: Just let them go. They're in argument, they're being kids. Yes, 328 00:13:11,201 --> 00:13:13,801 Speaker 1: I'm seeing my nervousys and like, oh got to fix 329 00:13:13,881 --> 00:13:16,801 Speaker 1: break it up. Everyone be quiet because I'm not handling it. 330 00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:19,041 Speaker 1: It's me that can't handle the noise. It's not about them. 331 00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:20,921 Speaker 1: Steve can tune it out. He's like, you guys, sort 332 00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:22,121 Speaker 1: it out. This is part of growing up. You need 333 00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:25,241 Speaker 1: to learn how to communicate. Wow. I'm like, oh, you're right. Wow. 334 00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:27,361 Speaker 1: Our nervous system can't handle the noise because I grew 335 00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:29,481 Speaker 1: up in a chaotic households annoys to me is like 336 00:13:29,561 --> 00:13:32,041 Speaker 1: not safe. Yeah, so I jump in trying to control it. 337 00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:33,561 Speaker 1: He's like, go in your room, take some breasts. I'll 338 00:13:33,561 --> 00:13:36,841 Speaker 1: watch them. They're fine, there's no knives, They're okay. That's 339 00:13:36,841 --> 00:13:38,681 Speaker 1: so funny. Wow, Oh my god. I do that with 340 00:13:38,681 --> 00:13:39,641 Speaker 1: my nieces and nephews. 341 00:13:39,721 --> 00:13:41,281 Speaker 2: Yeah, when they're fighting, I'm like, I feel like I 342 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,001 Speaker 2: need to go in and like mediate almost. 343 00:13:43,161 --> 00:13:45,161 Speaker 1: Yeah, And they can get to a point where you 344 00:13:45,201 --> 00:13:46,401 Speaker 1: need to. But at the end of the day, like 345 00:13:46,641 --> 00:13:48,881 Speaker 1: they're not. It's not necessary. No, it doesn't need to 346 00:13:48,921 --> 00:13:51,561 Speaker 1: be fixed or so it's like they've got big emotions 347 00:13:51,641 --> 00:13:55,361 Speaker 1: in themselves. Yeah, they don't get that express it yet. Interesting. Yeah, 348 00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:58,361 Speaker 1: that's cool. Good point. Hey, Yeah, I love that. When 349 00:13:58,361 --> 00:14:02,881 Speaker 1: a mom says I love being a mum, but she's 350 00:14:02,921 --> 00:14:05,321 Speaker 1: about to trauma dump. She's about to tell you hard 351 00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:09,161 Speaker 1: her days been. She's about to unleash about how hard 352 00:14:09,201 --> 00:14:11,561 Speaker 1: her children to be. So just hold the space for her. Yeah, 353 00:14:11,921 --> 00:14:15,081 Speaker 1: just hold the fucking space. Look at her, validate her, 354 00:14:15,281 --> 00:14:17,121 Speaker 1: make her feel seen, Remind her what a great mom 355 00:14:17,121 --> 00:14:19,561 Speaker 1: she's being, and that tomorrow's a new day. Yeah, don't 356 00:14:19,561 --> 00:14:21,241 Speaker 1: try and fix it, don't try and change it, don't 357 00:14:21,281 --> 00:14:24,041 Speaker 1: try and logically say something that makes sense to her, 358 00:14:24,041 --> 00:14:26,681 Speaker 1: because right now she's just she's done a limit, she's 359 00:14:26,761 --> 00:14:28,921 Speaker 1: ad her limit. Let her go, and she's allowed to 360 00:14:28,921 --> 00:14:30,761 Speaker 1: love being a mom and not love every second of 361 00:14:30,801 --> 00:14:33,161 Speaker 1: being a mom. Absolutely, you know, Yeah, she can feel 362 00:14:33,201 --> 00:14:35,321 Speaker 1: something and it doesn't have to mean anything. Absolutely, let 363 00:14:35,321 --> 00:14:35,881 Speaker 1: her have a moment. 364 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that's it. 365 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,881 Speaker 1: That's all I got. Oh goodness, funny but so true, 366 00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:42,841 Speaker 1: so true. It's started to bring some light to it, 367 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,481 Speaker 1: cause I think when we say those things, we can 368 00:14:44,561 --> 00:14:47,801 Speaker 1: carry guilt and shame around it about being needy, about 369 00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:51,161 Speaker 1: being too much, about being abandoned. There's fear behind there 370 00:14:51,201 --> 00:14:53,841 Speaker 1: about being judged. But we can bring light to it. 371 00:14:53,921 --> 00:14:55,601 Speaker 1: And I hope you girls have all laughed listened to this, 372 00:14:55,641 --> 00:15:00,201 Speaker 1: be like, oh my gosh, I say that too, honestly. 373 00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:02,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, we definitely do it, and we all do 374 00:15:02,681 --> 00:15:04,641 Speaker 2: it and think it and sometimes it's like the unspoken 375 00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:07,441 Speaker 2: thing is yeah, unspoken thing of what we do and 376 00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:08,841 Speaker 2: like we're like why do we do this? Why we 377 00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:10,441 Speaker 2: like this as women? But we're a good time. 378 00:15:10,641 --> 00:15:12,561 Speaker 1: It's also okay when you say the things that you 379 00:15:13,081 --> 00:15:15,081 Speaker 1: are saying, but you actually mean something else, Like I 380 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,561 Speaker 1: think we've been really trying to bring forward like actually, no, 381 00:15:17,681 --> 00:15:19,641 Speaker 1: we do feel like this and just say the thing. Yes, 382 00:15:19,681 --> 00:15:21,481 Speaker 1: not beat around the bush about it. Yeap, Like this 383 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,361 Speaker 1: is funny and we all do it. But I think 384 00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:25,201 Speaker 1: it's also a good reminder too that like the right 385 00:15:25,201 --> 00:15:27,161 Speaker 1: people will be able to hold you and whatever you're feeling, Yeah, 386 00:15:27,201 --> 00:15:30,801 Speaker 1: bring it forward. Hey, I'm anxious as fuck today. Hate me? Like, 387 00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:32,761 Speaker 1: do you actually hate you to do this role? Yeah? 388 00:15:33,161 --> 00:15:35,441 Speaker 1: Tell me honestly, I can take it. Yeah, And I 389 00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,921 Speaker 1: fucking love my kids, but man, they're driving me crazy. 390 00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:41,601 Speaker 1: They need a break from them. Yeap. Whatever it is, like, 391 00:15:41,761 --> 00:15:43,961 Speaker 1: let it be seen, don't hold it in because then 392 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:45,921 Speaker 1: it just grows bigger and you're carrying more shame. What 393 00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:48,081 Speaker 1: do you say? Shame thrives and secrecy. Shame thrives and 394 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,521 Speaker 1: secret Yeah, It's such a good statement, isn't it so true? 395 00:15:50,681 --> 00:15:53,761 Speaker 1: Just gets bigger and gets real ugly. Let it have 396 00:15:53,761 --> 00:15:55,321 Speaker 1: its moment to shine. It wants a bit of spotlight 397 00:15:55,361 --> 00:15:56,881 Speaker 1: on it, and let her have that moment and then 398 00:15:57,001 --> 00:16:00,721 Speaker 1: move through quicker. Yeah. Simple. Don't have to overcomplicate self development, 399 00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:05,041 Speaker 1: do we? No? Simplify, simplify Thanks for joining us, guys, 400 00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:13,721 Speaker 1: You own Friday. Bye bye. Mhmm.