Speaker 1: Apoche Production.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Behind the Drapes. I'm your host Brent Draper
Speaker 2: aka Drakes, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Shanlee Draper and we're here to talk about stuff according
Speaker 1: to us.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, it's Draper here and.
Speaker 1: I was naked on the Goldkos Highway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, buddy, it's made to give You are a strong woman. Gooday, guys,
Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Behind the Drapes.
Speaker 3: How this came about was this morning, Jokes and I
Speaker 3: were sitting together and I asked him this question because
Speaker 3: it just came into my brain and I thought, I
Speaker 3: want to know what he thinks. And then I was like, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 3: don't answer that. This is really good for the podcast.
Speaker 3: So we literally had to stop talking about it immediately
Speaker 3: and thought we'd come on and do an episode. And
Speaker 3: it's just one simple question, but I think it's going
Speaker 3: to be really relevant for people.
Speaker 2: That's really I think the beauty about this is that
Speaker 2: everyone can ask themselves this question too. We can give
Speaker 2: the answers of what we feel, but I think people
Speaker 2: can ask themselves question is.
Speaker 3: The question that I asked Drapes was do you ever
Speaker 3: feel like you should be doing more with your life?
Speaker 1: And you sort of like looked at me, you were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of.
Speaker 2: I think my ANSWER's changed a million times the more
Speaker 2: I think about this.
Speaker 1: So, do you think you should be doing more in
Speaker 1: your life?
Speaker 2: Honestly, yes, I should be doing way more. I have
Speaker 2: an amazing community of people that follow me on Instagram.
Speaker 2: You know, I could be doing so much more in business.
Speaker 2: But on the other side of that, with the boys
Speaker 2: and the amount of time I'm spending with them at
Speaker 2: this young age, especially Bowie being like seven months and
Speaker 2: Alfie five, Me and Alfie get on like so good.
Speaker 2: We have quality time. So in a business way, yes,
Speaker 2: I could be doing so much more and I should be.
Speaker 2: And I also feel like we always say life so short,
Speaker 2: life so precious. One minute you're here, one minute you're gone.
Speaker 2: And I've got an ADHD brain too, So I am
Speaker 2: like constantly. You know, I've postponed this surf trip. I
Speaker 2: don't want to go on twice. I just need to
Speaker 2: go do it, like fit it in, get it done,
Speaker 2: like make it happen. You know. That's the kind of attitude.
Speaker 2: But also no, because I'm really lowing this time, this
Speaker 2: sort of perfect balance between work and watching the boys
Speaker 2: grow up, and you know, you only get that for
Speaker 2: this moment, Like in another ten years time, they don't
Speaker 2: really need us too much. I mean, they'll have their
Speaker 2: own life then and then maybe then I could really
Speaker 2: go hard on something, like I know.
Speaker 3: But then you're like ten years is so long, Like
Speaker 3: that's a long time.
Speaker 2: It is like I'm not going to be like this
Speaker 2: for ten years. I've got plenty of things on and
Speaker 2: I'm busy, and you know, I think with my mates
Speaker 2: and that I could be doing more. Life's gotten busy
Speaker 2: if the boys here and I also work different hours
Speaker 2: than my mates too, like a lot of them are traders,
Speaker 2: and a lot of them are traders sort of you know,
Speaker 2: a little bit away, so like you can't just go
Speaker 2: down the street and catch up with them. But then
Speaker 2: the weekends roll around and everyone out there who's got kids,
Speaker 2: you know, like you're booked up months in advance with
Speaker 2: bloody birthdays or your little weekend get away. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I think, like if I split it all in different categories, yes, look,
Speaker 2: I think I could be doing a lot more.
Speaker 3: But listen to you speak, like you've confused my brain,
Speaker 3: because we should be doing more because there's so much
Speaker 3: opportunity and there's so many things to do and life
Speaker 3: is short and go get it and what are you
Speaker 3: waiting for?
Speaker 2: Then we should be slow.
Speaker 1: But then the other part is like move slowly, relaxed.
Speaker 1: You need to rest.
Speaker 2: Enjoy your not so much that but like, especially if
Speaker 2: kids like this is the fleeting moment, Like you sent
Speaker 2: me an Instagram one of your three hundred a day
Speaker 2: reels that I never watch.
Speaker 1: You don't hate. It's actually so.
Speaker 2: Rudeous, honestly, so.
Speaker 1: Beautiful and sweet, and I want you to read that.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I'll judge it by the first time.
Speaker 1: That's offensive.
Speaker 3: You know, I watch all of yours barely speaking, do
Speaker 3: you sucking watch all of it?
Speaker 2: I just said you even watched one about it and
Speaker 2: I send one like a month. You said, like three
Speaker 2: a day.
Speaker 3: Well it's gone from three hundred to three days three
Speaker 3: days nothing. It's like when I'm on the toilet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like normally leads in with Bow Taplin or something.
Speaker 3: Is that his name, yes, Bo Taplin if you if
Speaker 3: you're listening, I love him.
Speaker 1: I love his poems.
Speaker 2: Okay, that real was that your kids are only kids
Speaker 2: for a lot less time than hopefully they are adults.
Speaker 3: Yeah, very shorter. So you've only got children for a
Speaker 3: small amount of times what it was.
Speaker 2: Compared to like how long they're becoming adults because you know,
Speaker 2: essentially their kids growing up a lot younger these days,
Speaker 2: so you sort of lose them as children. I don't
Speaker 2: know what age I.
Speaker 1: Want to say, when when are they stopping children? Like
Speaker 1: maybe ten?
Speaker 2: So, in like a real confused way where we're drifting
Speaker 2: off here, we come back to the thing is we've
Speaker 2: only got these boys as our little children for such
Speaker 2: a fleeting moment. So I think maybe I'm actually doing
Speaker 2: more there by doing less, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I was fucking bots up God. So my answer insure
Speaker 2: is yes I could be doing more.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So someone wrote the other day, I don't know if
Speaker 3: you saw as Actually you wouldn't have seen this because
Speaker 3: you don't care for this stuff. The other day an
Speaker 3: Instagram post popped up with a photo of you on
Speaker 3: the Master Chef Instagram page, and it was like talking
Speaker 3: about the fact that the show has been nominated for
Speaker 3: an award, and I clicked on it. Sorry, And it
Speaker 3: was Facebook that I popped up, and I clicked on it,
Speaker 3: and the very first comment was something like, where is
Speaker 3: this guy? Haven't heard from him since he won, or
Speaker 3: something like that. You wouldn't have seen it. You didn't
Speaker 3: see it, And so this is what made me think
Speaker 3: about this. It's like, it's so interesting how other people
Speaker 3: may perceive us or you or someone else is not
Speaker 3: doing a lot, but no one actually knows what goes
Speaker 3: on behind the scenes. And we're in the thick of
Speaker 3: raising two young kids, and it's just funny how that
Speaker 3: person's perspective, like they don't know what we do, they
Speaker 3: don't know what our life involves.
Speaker 2: We have so many think that's the thing of life.
Speaker 2: You probably have fifty different ways you're perceived, like by
Speaker 2: different people just because they're fleeting moments with you leaves like,
Speaker 2: you know, like some person might think you're an extrovert
Speaker 2: because they only see you in these sort of times,
Speaker 2: and then another person who you're close with knows that
Speaker 2: you're an introvert. Actually it's only what they see of you,
Speaker 2: so like he's only or whoever they are, they only
Speaker 2: see me on a freaking show. And unless I'm on
Speaker 2: that freaking show again or on a show, you don't
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing, true, do they? Think that I've
Speaker 2: just come home and fucking sat in the backyard for
Speaker 2: a year.
Speaker 1: I've been fishing for last year.
Speaker 2: Besides fishing, take fishing out of it, and been busy.
Speaker 1: Yeah I know, but no, I've been busy.
Speaker 2: I want to set this straight, Like I've been fucking
Speaker 2: flying here, flying there, doing this, doing that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not about that, but you know what, like,
Speaker 3: what is busy?
Speaker 1: Baby? Why do you care if you're busy or not.
Speaker 3: In fact, if we cast our minds back five years ago,
Speaker 3: which way, I think this question is so relevant. You
Speaker 3: didn't want to be easy like you were back then.
Speaker 3: You were a trade. You were busting your ass. You know,
Speaker 3: you had like all the physical symptoms of being a
Speaker 3: trade for a long time that were starting to happen,
Speaker 3: and you wanted more freedom and more flexibility. You literally
Speaker 3: have that now. You can literally do pretty much anything
Speaker 3: you want to do and make money and live a
Speaker 3: beautiful life, but not work as kind of crazy intensive
Speaker 3: hours as you were.
Speaker 2: And that's that's a good thing because a lot of
Speaker 2: people lose this and I really try not to to
Speaker 2: not forget where you come from. Yeah, so me five
Speaker 2: years ago would be looking at me now saying you've
Speaker 2: made it, but then me now because you've you know,
Speaker 2: it's like climbing that mountain that you can't see the top.
Speaker 2: You get to the next point and you're like, you
Speaker 2: won't be happy with that point. You're like, well, the
Speaker 2: top could be just there, like I'll just.
Speaker 3: Keep going, which is why we're asking this question now,
Speaker 3: like so no, you should be doing it all your
Speaker 3: life because yeah, okay, yeah, which is funny because no,
Speaker 3: but I always say, and how often do I say
Speaker 3: this to you, Like, babe, this is what we wish for,
Speaker 3: Like we're actually here living the life that we wish
Speaker 3: we had five years ago. Our life five years ago,
Speaker 3: by the way, was amazing. It's got nothing to do
Speaker 3: with money or it's not those things.
Speaker 1: It's the freedom. What is my highest value in life?
Speaker 3: Just freedom, Like, of course you want to have money,
Speaker 3: but and be financially free to some degree, but it's
Speaker 3: always been just like freedom to choose.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have a boss.
Speaker 3: I want to be able to make money on my
Speaker 3: own terms, and we literally get to do that. So
Speaker 3: it's just so funny that we're now sitting here and
Speaker 3: you're like living this amazing life we live in a
Speaker 3: really nice house.
Speaker 1: We don't own it.
Speaker 3: We rent it and we've rented forever and we're hoping
Speaker 3: to buy a house shortly, but that's never been priority
Speaker 3: for us.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: What I'm trying to get to is like we always
Speaker 3: think we should be doing more, but it's not until
Speaker 3: you look at where you are in this moment, Like
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, but we doesn't have to go to
Speaker 3: daycare every single day, so we have to go to
Speaker 3: work five days a week. We literally work, but we
Speaker 3: work different hours. We work harder and faster, and we
Speaker 3: get paid to do that, and we get to hang
Speaker 3: out with our kid five days a week. We never
Speaker 3: did that with our feet. Our fee was in daycare
Speaker 3: from home day care and when he was like yeah,
Speaker 3: ten or twelve weeks old, he went a couple of
Speaker 3: days a week and then he went full time within
Speaker 3: I think maybe like the first eighteen months or something.
Speaker 3: That broke my heart as the first time mum, we
Speaker 3: don't have to do it anymore. But now we're like, oh,
Speaker 3: we should be doing more and he should be in
Speaker 3: dcare more, and but it's.
Speaker 2: Human, that's human as human, Hey, we like this, That's
Speaker 2: why we're going to end up being bloody. As my theory,
Speaker 2: we're going to be hybrid computer bloody robots, AI robots
Speaker 2: because the Endless Chase. There's a surf film, Endless Summer,
Speaker 2: and it's just like the Endless Chase. And that's what
Speaker 2: we are as humans. We're just like, you know, we
Speaker 2: have one minute, we have this brand new phone that's
Speaker 2: just come out, and then within six months it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: you got to get the new one's got to get
Speaker 2: the next one. We're We're in it as a constant chase.
Speaker 2: We're like dogs after tennis balls throughout.
Speaker 1: Life literally and chasing a dopamine hit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and all that's what it is.
Speaker 3: It's all about, right, Like doing more means you get
Speaker 3: those like hits of I've done something, I've done this,
Speaker 3: I've achieved this, I've succeeded. And like for me as
Speaker 3: someone who's literally struggled with perfection is.
Speaker 1: In my entire life.
Speaker 3: It started when I was a kid, like love my parents,
Speaker 3: love my dad, but I do remember having, you know,
Speaker 3: a lot of conversations around what I was doing, what
Speaker 3: I was achieving, what I wanted to do with my
Speaker 3: life from a very young age. I'm talking like primary school,
Speaker 3: there was a lot of expectation on me to achieve
Speaker 3: in life. I look back and I'm grateful for that
Speaker 3: because I have achieved a lot and I've done a lot,
Speaker 3: and I have done that because I've always had that drive.
Speaker 3: But also, like you know me, I struggle with that,
Speaker 3: like I struggle with the perfectionism peace, and I struggle
Speaker 3: with productivity and thinking that I'm not worth much unless
Speaker 3: I'm proactively working on something or achieving something. Like I
Speaker 3: started a second company when Alfie was like eight weeks old.
Speaker 3: I was ball deep in the first company in the
Speaker 3: recruitment business, and then I started another business with a
Speaker 3: business partner, and I had a newborn baby, and I've
Speaker 3: never done that before, like because my brain was like, oh.
Speaker 1: I'm only a mum right now, and I need to
Speaker 1: do something else.
Speaker 3: So when I think about like where I am in
Speaker 3: my life now, oh my god, I'm worlds apart. Like
Speaker 3: I'm you know, six years nearly six years down the track.
Speaker 3: I don't run my own big business anymore. I'm consulting.
Speaker 3: I'm doing this with you, which I love so fun.
Speaker 3: I help you with all of your work and business
Speaker 3: behind the scenes. I often think like I should be
Speaker 3: doing so much more at this point in time, But
Speaker 3: then my brain is like, oh my god, Scheanra, you're
Speaker 3: a seven months old baby, like and I am busy,
Speaker 3: Like honestly, like this week, I've had like a rash
Speaker 3: on my face, broken out, a skin rash again, a
Speaker 3: hormonal rash that I think is associated with stress because
Speaker 3: we've got these deadlines this week, we're also going away,
Speaker 3: we're sleep deprived, we're both feeling a bit sick, and
Speaker 3: we've got all these things that we're trying to get done.
Speaker 3: And so I don't think at this point in time
Speaker 3: I could cram anything else in it and not feel stressed.
Speaker 1: But also my brain is like, yeah, you should be
Speaker 1: doing more. Oh my god. It's it's just human experience,
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: It's the grass is always greener. On the other side,
Speaker 2: we've created this monster with Instagram where you're always scrolling
Speaker 2: something better than what you've got that you want, like
Speaker 2: you like mine is like full of amazing food, big fish,
Speaker 2: big like these massive fish, big big hot like hot chicks,
Speaker 2: like you know, if you're always like cheese with the mouse,
Speaker 2: like here it is this is you could have there
Speaker 2: like it chases it like, but at the same time,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm so happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, are you happy to have right now?
Speaker 2: Yea. But I would love to create something bigger and
Speaker 2: I would love to get involved in something bigger and
Speaker 2: like business like yeah, like I've never sort of done
Speaker 2: that too much.
Speaker 3: And do you want the stress of that, because I
Speaker 3: want to be.
Speaker 2: On the side of the business and you've.
Speaker 3: Got to get no joking, but do you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? Something bigger, but then you don't want to stress.
Speaker 1: And this is at the same time in life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, at the same time, I want to buy a
Speaker 2: house away from where you know it's so it's a
Speaker 2: bit cheaper, so we can afford it and we can
Speaker 2: have that freedom and then create the massive vegie patch
Speaker 2: and you know all that and but that all takes
Speaker 2: work because then you'd have to like separate, you'd have
Speaker 2: to reinvent the brain thinking what we're drilled into to
Speaker 2: work to get money to live, whereas you'd have to
Speaker 2: work to live.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're talking about you want to build a farm, yeah,
Speaker 3: always wanting to have a farm. We want to have
Speaker 3: our own proof, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: And sort of you know, bring all the money output
Speaker 2: down whereas everyone is going up with it because they
Speaker 2: want bigger, they want better.
Speaker 1: They everyone trying to make more money.
Speaker 2: To have that bigger, better, newer, shinier, you need to
Speaker 2: make more money and make more stress, and then just
Speaker 2: viciously cycle and get to a point where you're burn
Speaker 2: out and then you spiral.
Speaker 3: Down and then you think in bed you can't make
Speaker 3: any money anyway.
Speaker 1: Not well so mentally, your physically.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to go this other way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the question is probably not do you feel like
Speaker 3: you should be doing more with your life. The question
Speaker 3: is probably, when you have everything you've ever wanted.
Speaker 1: Are you going to be happy with that?
Speaker 3: So I look at us and I think, when we
Speaker 3: move to our farm, we have our property, and that's
Speaker 3: all we've ever wanted. We've you and I have dreamt
Speaker 3: of that for like ten years. It's not like since
Speaker 3: the kids have come along. This is not since you know,
Speaker 3: we traveled Australia. You and I have always been on
Speaker 3: the same page with that. We've always wanted to just
Speaker 3: get away from everyone and everything and just have our
Speaker 3: own little space, you know, have our own produce, have
Speaker 3: our own meat. I was going to say, kill our
Speaker 3: own beast. Who am I am? I a farm girlery
Speaker 3: killer own beasts and just you know, live a really
Speaker 3: simple life. When we get there, are we going to
Speaker 3: be happy or are we going to be a bit bored?
Speaker 3: Because honestly, I can't imagine myself in the kitchen we're
Speaker 3: not making cookies and being content with that. I'm not
Speaker 3: I would have run a business. Am I going to
Speaker 3: be able to do it from the farm?
Speaker 2: Yes? We're not in the fucking that's in the middle
Speaker 2: of the desert.
Speaker 1: We had if you had it your way, we would
Speaker 1: be so doping.
Speaker 2: No, we wouldn't. I've got the boat still, I need
Speaker 2: to be close to the ocean. It'd be a river
Speaker 2: out there, so no, where we're looking isn't far from
Speaker 2: here anyway. And there's a thing I found out, this
Speaker 2: thing it's called Wi Fi and people actually use it
Speaker 2: to run online businesses, which all your businesses have been
Speaker 2: do worry about your cookies. I'll make the cookies, thank you,
Speaker 2: and you can run another little business. But I'm just saying, like,
Speaker 2: you don't have to have a multimillion dollar business. Our
Speaker 2: money for the food and groceries, and that goes down
Speaker 2: because you know, and then you're more self sustainable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which we're talking about some of our beautiful friends
Speaker 3: this morning who really want to have on the podcast.
Speaker 3: They live a couple of hours Inland. They have this
Speaker 3: beautiful property. They bought this farm super cheap all.
Speaker 1: These years ago.
Speaker 3: They've slowly built like a shed on it and now
Speaker 3: they're like fully self sustainable. They you know, only really
Speaker 3: one of them has to work. They had their own business.
Speaker 3: Now one of them has a job. The other one
Speaker 3: looks after their little bub and also renovates this house
Speaker 3: that they've bought.
Speaker 1: They bought this really old house.
Speaker 3: They shipped it over to wherever they are on the
Speaker 3: back of a truck or something, and now they're building
Speaker 3: this beautiful home. But they've built it, but they mortgage.
Speaker 3: They have such a small mortgage. Now are they close
Speaker 3: to the ocean where we want to be. No, are
Speaker 3: they close to any major cities.
Speaker 1: So it's gorgeous.
Speaker 3: But for them, they actually have freedom and they have choices.
Speaker 3: Whereas we have other friends who live, you know, in Brisbane.
Speaker 3: They've got big, beautiful houses, you know, with million dollar
Speaker 3: price tags. Yeah, we small backyards, but they have to
Speaker 3: bust their balls where I want to see us is
Speaker 3: I want to be on the life's peachey side where
Speaker 3: we don't have this crazy mortgage that we feel like
Speaker 3: maybe one day we're not going to be able to sustain.
Speaker 3: I don't want to have that financial pressure for our
Speaker 3: children either. I want to be able to take them
Speaker 3: on holidays and go for trips around Australia again, and
Speaker 3: live a life where it's affordable. I'm scared. Scarcity mindset's
Speaker 3: a real thing. I'm scared that one day, you know,
Speaker 3: things are going to get so out of hand and
Speaker 3: so expensive that not even our children are to be
Speaker 3: able to afford anythings. So for us, it's like, how
Speaker 3: do we get into the market. Oh my god, now
Speaker 3: we're talking about we're.
Speaker 1: Talking about real estate. It's totally a track.
Speaker 3: But how do how do we buy a house that's
Speaker 3: going to be more sustainable for us in the future
Speaker 3: so we can actually not have to be doing more
Speaker 3: with our lives if we don't want to. We can
Speaker 3: just live of this sort of easy, breezy, beautiful lifestyle.
Speaker 2: So for an overview of this podcast, we're both on
Speaker 2: yes or really confused.
Speaker 1: Oh really, you think we got to it?
Speaker 2: Yes? There, I think we're Yes, I never.
Speaker 1: Feel like you should be doing more with your life.
Speaker 3: Yes, I do, but also grateful for what we have
Speaker 3: and I wouldn't change we have right now. I think
Speaker 3: if we look back at this episode in like four
Speaker 3: years and we have a four and a half five
Speaker 3: year old with like Bowie, yeah, and we're still in
Speaker 3: this position where we haven't done anything more. We're just
Speaker 3: kind of cruising what we're doing at the moment, I'd
Speaker 3: probably wish we had of But also I think like
Speaker 3: we have to give ourselves some grace. And any parent
Speaker 3: here who's listening, who has little kids, like the sleep
Speaker 3: deprivation is hard.
Speaker 1: You know, yesterday I was trying to work. You heard me.
Speaker 1: I was doing a meeting. It was just hard and
Speaker 1: it was just brain fog.
Speaker 2: It's just like brain fog right now. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And it's not just a month thing. It's a dad
Speaker 3: thing too. Anyone that looks after children, mom, dad, care,
Speaker 3: a grandparent, whatever. Like my mum just came looked after
Speaker 3: the kids for eight nights while we went to Indonesia
Speaker 3: on a work trip.
Speaker 2: She was a bustard like she was bustard.
Speaker 1: She was crawling back to her house the last.
Speaker 2: She stayed an extra two nights when we're down. When
Speaker 2: we got back, Yeah, and that last night, we're like,
Speaker 2: go sleep in the caravan because Karen's at the front,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you get a good night sleep, and
Speaker 2: she did. Yeah, where did you see her?
Speaker 3: Like seven thirty The next day she was just And
Speaker 3: that's the thing, like looking after little kids, what I'm
Speaker 3: trying to say, is really hard. So if you are
Speaker 3: in the depths of that, like, give yourself some grace.
Speaker 3: We do try and give ourselves grace because it will pass,
Speaker 3: but it is also really hard and you're not going
Speaker 3: to work at the capacity that you want to when
Speaker 3: you sleep your prift.
Speaker 1: That's just the bottom part. So Okay, we're going to
Speaker 1: wrap this episode up now.
Speaker 2: Maybe if you ask yourself this question, and maybe.
Speaker 1: It's a question again, was it. Do you ever feel
Speaker 1: like you should be doing well with your.
Speaker 2: Life, doing more with your life, And it doesn't always
Speaker 2: mean business, but it's just more in general. Yeah,