1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Appoject Production. 2 00:00:10,801 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 2: Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the 3 00:00:13,441 --> 00:00:16,681 Speaker 2: Muscle comments and in this episode I speak with former 4 00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 2: Russian spy Alia Rossa. 5 00:00:19,841 --> 00:00:23,281 Speaker 1: I was trained to fell in love and all the 6 00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:25,441 Speaker 1: bodies who just lay on the floor and then we're 7 00:00:25,521 --> 00:00:29,321 Speaker 1: just like throwing away to the rubbish. I do have 8 00:00:29,481 --> 00:00:32,961 Speaker 1: fears because I know what's thesistantly in Russia. I know, 9 00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:36,801 Speaker 1: like the way they are. I was exotic, so I 10 00:00:36,921 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: was the only fun Asian. I know it's scary, Okay, 11 00:00:39,961 --> 00:00:43,641 Speaker 1: so the truth? Do you want to know the truths? 12 00:00:43,881 --> 00:00:46,121 Speaker 1: My last target was. 13 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,441 Speaker 2: Let's let's get into this because I've been so excited 14 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: to have you on my podcast. So before we get 15 00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,841 Speaker 2: into the nitty gritty, I want to say thank you 16 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:01,361 Speaker 2: for coming on. 17 00:01:01,601 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. 18 00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:08,321 Speaker 2: It's been a working process, but I finally got you. 19 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,601 Speaker 2: Let's start off with you growing up as a child 20 00:01:11,881 --> 00:01:14,801 Speaker 2: and talk about your family first and what it was 21 00:01:14,881 --> 00:01:18,041 Speaker 2: like growing up in Moscow in Russia. 22 00:01:18,241 --> 00:01:21,401 Speaker 1: Well, I grew up like in the different countries because 23 00:01:21,401 --> 00:01:24,241 Speaker 1: my father at that time was already a higher ranking 24 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,801 Speaker 1: officer and then according to his position, we had to 25 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: travel around Soviet Union that time, so it changed my 26 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:34,681 Speaker 1: schools all the time, and I would, you know, be 27 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,401 Speaker 1: very nerdy and you know, like Saviet Union. I think 28 00:01:38,441 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: like it's people who were worn there they will understand. 29 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: But just to explain, like you know, your listeners, Savit Union, 30 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,841 Speaker 1: it was the country where at some point, you know, 31 00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:55,201 Speaker 1: old people would say, oh it was amazing because we 32 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:58,881 Speaker 1: would know what would happen tomorrow. It was stability, right, 33 00:01:58,961 --> 00:02:02,201 Speaker 1: so everybody had the same salary, everybody would have the 34 00:02:02,281 --> 00:02:06,521 Speaker 1: same house, the same clothes, the same furniture at home, 35 00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:11,481 Speaker 1: like everything everywhere with the same. But I feel like 36 00:02:11,801 --> 00:02:15,001 Speaker 1: I was won being creative and I love fashion a lot, 37 00:02:15,161 --> 00:02:22,081 Speaker 1: and I just couldn't look at this like ugly gray houses. 38 00:02:23,081 --> 00:02:26,241 Speaker 1: The weather also is like there is no sun, you know, 39 00:02:26,401 --> 00:02:32,601 Speaker 1: like it's always gray ish, very cold. If it's summer, 40 00:02:32,841 --> 00:02:37,641 Speaker 1: just maybe one or two months, it's very hot, rainy. 41 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: It's like it's just like winter, like the snow. I 42 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,201 Speaker 1: honestly I hate winter. Like with snow. I mean I'm 43 00:02:44,201 --> 00:02:48,481 Speaker 1: not talking about Switzerland's alpswear or like friends where you 44 00:02:48,561 --> 00:02:51,881 Speaker 1: can just like go for you know, skiing and snowhere. 45 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,681 Speaker 1: It's it's different. It's different. It's it's like when you 46 00:02:54,761 --> 00:02:57,841 Speaker 1: go out and you feel like it's so cold that 47 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:02,281 Speaker 1: you your bones inside are like freezing. That's how cold 48 00:03:02,321 --> 00:03:04,441 Speaker 1: it was. And that's why I think like Russians, they 49 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,201 Speaker 1: they were a lot of first, and then people say like, oh, 50 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,721 Speaker 1: like you know, they were first, and I'm like, it's 51 00:03:09,761 --> 00:03:14,281 Speaker 1: almost impossible to survive outside without like really warm clothes 52 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,441 Speaker 1: because like nothing will help. And I remember like being 53 00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:20,401 Speaker 1: a girl and like I instead of walking to the school, 54 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:24,481 Speaker 1: I had to run because it was so cold. And obviously, 55 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:29,281 Speaker 1: like my parents didn't you know like that, they're kind 56 00:03:29,321 --> 00:03:32,721 Speaker 1: of like a Prestroyica sort of revolution started in Russia 57 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,441 Speaker 1: after the Soviet Union was full and nobody had money, 58 00:03:37,441 --> 00:03:39,641 Speaker 1: so it was such a big poverty in the country. 59 00:03:39,681 --> 00:03:45,601 Speaker 1: It was almost you know, homeless people, homeless kids, all 60 00:03:45,641 --> 00:03:50,521 Speaker 1: the animals. You could imagine everybody on streets, very hungry, 61 00:03:51,201 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: very poor, and it was really it was a very 62 00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:58,321 Speaker 1: hard time for this country. And it just was like 63 00:03:58,561 --> 00:04:00,801 Speaker 1: really really sad to see all that when I was 64 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:05,881 Speaker 1: growing up. And then you know, my father obviously like 65 00:04:05,961 --> 00:04:10,081 Speaker 1: how you know, a lot of parents, right, they want 66 00:04:10,561 --> 00:04:13,561 Speaker 1: their kids to become someone they want them to be. 67 00:04:14,961 --> 00:04:17,841 Speaker 1: If he's like, like, your parents are doctors. They want 68 00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,201 Speaker 1: their kids to become doctor because they can pass this 69 00:04:20,441 --> 00:04:23,961 Speaker 1: knowledge or like experience. So I guess my dad had 70 00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:26,921 Speaker 1: only one plan for me, which was the military, because 71 00:04:26,961 --> 00:04:30,241 Speaker 1: he was like, oh, you have your you know, bonuses, 72 00:04:30,361 --> 00:04:34,281 Speaker 1: you have a stable salary. You know, eventually you can 73 00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: they can provide you with accommodation, you know, government accommodation. 74 00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:42,001 Speaker 1: So it was the only one way how to actually 75 00:04:42,521 --> 00:04:46,441 Speaker 1: for him to leave. And also his grand his father, 76 00:04:46,641 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: my grandfather, he was also in the military, so like 77 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,841 Speaker 1: for and then if you're going back back back, all 78 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:59,161 Speaker 1: my family were warriors, military people. So it's just like 79 00:05:00,201 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: my grandfather probably like was such a powerful person in 80 00:05:04,161 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 1: our family that he you know, he was a national hero. 81 00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:11,801 Speaker 1: He we have like a huge monument with his name 82 00:05:11,841 --> 00:05:15,281 Speaker 1: written on it. It's such a heritage for our family. 83 00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:17,201 Speaker 1: So I guess, like, you know, like I just couldn't 84 00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: say no, even though, like I said, like, but Dad, 85 00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:22,641 Speaker 1: like I really wanted like work in fashion, and he's like, 86 00:05:22,801 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: what fashion is, Like you have like one shoes, one skirt. 87 00:05:25,761 --> 00:05:29,881 Speaker 1: That's enough, you know, That's it. And I'm like, you know, 88 00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:32,561 Speaker 1: like I wanted and I was teaching like dresses for 89 00:05:32,681 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: girl for like dolls, you know, like girly things, and 90 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: he kind of like didn't get it. And when I 91 00:05:38,681 --> 00:05:41,401 Speaker 1: came to military, I was like it wasn't even worse 92 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:46,081 Speaker 1: in terms of like my my world because you know, 93 00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: like I wanted to kind of like stand out, and 94 00:05:48,721 --> 00:05:52,681 Speaker 1: I always would like stitch and tailor clothes for myself 95 00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:57,281 Speaker 1: to go to the school, pick like my granny's dresses 96 00:05:57,481 --> 00:06:00,721 Speaker 1: and just like retailer it like tailor cut it and 97 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,601 Speaker 1: like make it like looking nice. And everybody would be like, oh, 98 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:05,561 Speaker 1: where did you get it? Because everybody would have the 99 00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,201 Speaker 1: same stuff, like saying different colors, same things. And when 100 00:06:09,241 --> 00:06:10,961 Speaker 1: I came to the military and they have I have 101 00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:12,961 Speaker 1: to wear the uniform, I'm like, oh my god, it's 102 00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:17,721 Speaker 1: a one more ugly, like you know, like this very 103 00:06:18,841 --> 00:06:24,281 Speaker 1: military uniform just like killing me. But then yeah, then 104 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,121 Speaker 1: when I kind of like diving into the world of 105 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:34,041 Speaker 1: sex oonage and intelligence service, I just realized it's not 106 00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:37,681 Speaker 1: just the clothes, it's like the whole system is is 107 00:06:38,081 --> 00:06:38,801 Speaker 1: called it evil. 108 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,521 Speaker 2: So, yeah, did your moment you said joined the military. 109 00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: No, my mother she had position of a pewer. You know, 110 00:06:47,481 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: I'm coming from Kazakhstan. Apparently you know, it's a it's 111 00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:59,161 Speaker 1: a very patriarchy family system, so where's women. Asian women 112 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,321 Speaker 1: would have to serve the man all his life and 113 00:07:02,401 --> 00:07:06,121 Speaker 1: be just a house wife. And because they expected a 114 00:07:06,201 --> 00:07:09,281 Speaker 1: boy and a girl, the first girl appeared. So as 115 00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:13,401 Speaker 1: an older child, I would need to, you know, follow 116 00:07:13,481 --> 00:07:17,841 Speaker 1: my dad's footsteps. And that's why I went to the military. Otherwise, 117 00:07:18,081 --> 00:07:20,481 Speaker 1: if I would be like middle or like, you know, 118 00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:23,561 Speaker 1: the youngest child, I may kind of like avoid that. 119 00:07:23,841 --> 00:07:26,041 Speaker 1: But you know, my dad like kind of like, okay, 120 00:07:26,681 --> 00:07:30,041 Speaker 1: you know, I'll make you to be a soldier. So 121 00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:33,961 Speaker 1: my mom, no, she actually she's an amazing woman. But 122 00:07:36,521 --> 00:07:40,881 Speaker 1: I actually was thinking about my parents today morning when 123 00:07:40,881 --> 00:07:44,241 Speaker 1: I was getting ready, you know, like she she's a 124 00:07:44,321 --> 00:07:51,641 Speaker 1: perfect wife. But it's very sad that a lot of 125 00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:56,481 Speaker 1: women who cannot stand for themselves, or who are insecure, 126 00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: or maybe they have their own fears or maybe trauma 127 00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:03,121 Speaker 1: in the past, they depend from the man so much 128 00:08:03,281 --> 00:08:06,481 Speaker 1: that they cannot see anything for them in this world. 129 00:08:07,081 --> 00:08:11,041 Speaker 1: Like she never had professions, she never had friends, she 130 00:08:11,161 --> 00:08:15,041 Speaker 1: never had hobbies, and all her life was around my dad. 131 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,521 Speaker 1: I mean, for a man, it's kind of cool, right, 132 00:08:17,881 --> 00:08:20,681 Speaker 1: It's almost like he has like a free slave, you know, 133 00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:24,441 Speaker 1: like like you know, cooking, feeding, you're taking care of 134 00:08:24,441 --> 00:08:27,041 Speaker 1: about you, naturing you, like, I mean, this is amazing. 135 00:08:27,081 --> 00:08:31,081 Speaker 1: But as a woman, she never kind of like realized 136 00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:34,641 Speaker 1: for dreams, and this is very sad. I think, like 137 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,841 Speaker 1: everything has to be in the balance, not just for 138 00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:41,281 Speaker 1: a man, but for a woman as well, like for everyone. 139 00:08:41,481 --> 00:08:42,761 Speaker 2: Do you think that Do you think that's still like 140 00:08:42,801 --> 00:08:43,361 Speaker 2: that in Russia? 141 00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:48,481 Speaker 1: Now in some cases yes, but it's just because of 142 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:53,241 Speaker 1: like an education. So of course the government, not only 143 00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:55,521 Speaker 1: in Russia but everywhere in the world, they tried to 144 00:08:55,681 --> 00:09:02,481 Speaker 1: decrease the educational level of the civilians, right, so nobody 145 00:09:02,481 --> 00:09:07,641 Speaker 1: would ever have power enough or intelligency enough or skills 146 00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:11,841 Speaker 1: enough to stand and make a revolution and become, let's say, 147 00:09:11,921 --> 00:09:14,601 Speaker 1: a new leader. Of course, they want to control it 148 00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:18,041 Speaker 1: and prevent it. The same story in Russia they keep 149 00:09:18,081 --> 00:09:23,241 Speaker 1: everything at the minimum level of the education, where I 150 00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:26,201 Speaker 1: know that a lot of women already became like more independent, 151 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:30,841 Speaker 1: but still there for if you bond woman, it's sort 152 00:09:30,881 --> 00:09:33,481 Speaker 1: of like the only one chance you can make it 153 00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:37,921 Speaker 1: in life is to marry the most the best man 154 00:09:38,081 --> 00:09:40,481 Speaker 1: who will take care about you and your kids and 155 00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:45,441 Speaker 1: like you basically become dependent of him, and it's not 156 00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:49,561 Speaker 1: almost like somebody choose it because of I don't know, 157 00:09:49,601 --> 00:09:52,841 Speaker 1: their laziness maybe or just like, oh, you know, I 158 00:09:52,921 --> 00:09:55,361 Speaker 1: just don't want to work. You know, women sometimes say 159 00:09:55,401 --> 00:09:57,601 Speaker 1: and like I just want to be sort of like 160 00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,281 Speaker 1: I just want to be wifey, which is okay. I 161 00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:03,001 Speaker 1: mean like, if this is like her, you know, dream 162 00:10:03,201 --> 00:10:07,961 Speaker 1: good for her. But you know, life is life. And 163 00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:11,241 Speaker 1: while I have a lot of students coming with the 164 00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:14,321 Speaker 1: same problem. When you're young and beautiful and you have 165 00:10:14,401 --> 00:10:16,601 Speaker 1: a lot of time in front of you, think like, oh, 166 00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:19,081 Speaker 1: everything would be good. I'll just like being a wife. 167 00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:21,641 Speaker 1: I have kids, da da da, you know how, and 168 00:10:21,681 --> 00:10:23,801 Speaker 1: them just like waiting for my husband at home. And 169 00:10:23,841 --> 00:10:27,561 Speaker 1: then what happens over time if you don't develop yourself, 170 00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:32,521 Speaker 1: if you don't improve your emotional intelligence level, and you 171 00:10:32,601 --> 00:10:36,001 Speaker 1: don't really like realizing yourself as a person as a 172 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:39,321 Speaker 1: human being. Usually man when they achieve a certain level, 173 00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:42,721 Speaker 1: they have to move on to another person because they 174 00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:46,401 Speaker 1: need an equal partner and kids and all that. It 175 00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:50,241 Speaker 1: doesn't work anymore if the woman is not going together 176 00:10:50,321 --> 00:10:54,521 Speaker 1: with her husband at the same like step where they 177 00:10:54,641 --> 00:10:59,841 Speaker 1: complement each other, where they exchange they you know, experiences 178 00:10:59,921 --> 00:11:03,081 Speaker 1: and you know, like support each other in different areas. 179 00:11:03,801 --> 00:11:06,881 Speaker 1: Then this is like basically the beginning of the end. 180 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:10,441 Speaker 1: And it's very sad that you know, even sort of 181 00:11:10,521 --> 00:11:14,641 Speaker 1: like becoming much older and then the husband just leaves 182 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:21,201 Speaker 1: for another younger, intelligent, beautiful woman and the first vife 183 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:26,081 Speaker 1: is basically just like by herself, and it's very sad. 184 00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:29,441 Speaker 1: So in this case, of course, like when my students 185 00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:32,881 Speaker 1: come to me, like I always recommend to have your 186 00:11:32,921 --> 00:11:37,561 Speaker 1: own profession and at least like those income which would 187 00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:41,281 Speaker 1: be enough to pay for your expenses, like minimal expenses 188 00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:43,761 Speaker 1: which you need in your life. In this case, you 189 00:11:43,841 --> 00:11:48,361 Speaker 1: know that you don't depend from your husband fully. Yes, 190 00:11:48,521 --> 00:11:51,841 Speaker 1: of course you cannot like you know, pay for everything, 191 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:55,081 Speaker 1: but like I'm talking about like minimum things like your 192 00:11:55,801 --> 00:12:00,561 Speaker 1: house insure, sky insurance, car payment rent, I mean, like 193 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,081 Speaker 1: even manicure predicular and all these things, like I mean, 194 00:12:03,121 --> 00:12:05,961 Speaker 1: it's still money. And I mean do you have a 195 00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:08,561 Speaker 1: like really like the bride asking your husband, oh, can 196 00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:10,481 Speaker 1: you please give me money for the manicure? I mean, 197 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:15,121 Speaker 1: it's such a I don't know, it's such an embarrassment actually, 198 00:12:15,441 --> 00:12:19,481 Speaker 1: you know, so so yes, women have to have a 199 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:23,041 Speaker 1: profession in the hands for sure. That's my opinion. 200 00:12:24,441 --> 00:12:26,881 Speaker 2: Was how strict was your father on you? Was he 201 00:12:27,161 --> 00:12:27,761 Speaker 2: very strict? 202 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:32,681 Speaker 1: Super I don't know, even like I'm mother myself, right, 203 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,161 Speaker 1: my son is like, Mom, You're like such a cool 204 00:12:36,201 --> 00:12:39,081 Speaker 1: mom and all that. I was scared my dad so 205 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:42,721 Speaker 1: much that I couldn't even talk to him, like it 206 00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:45,521 Speaker 1: wasn't even just like being strict, but he was very 207 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:50,201 Speaker 1: I mean he still is. But now I see him 208 00:12:50,401 --> 00:12:53,481 Speaker 1: not that often because I cannot go to Russia or visits, 209 00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:57,721 Speaker 1: and we see together maybe one two times one time 210 00:12:57,801 --> 00:13:00,921 Speaker 1: in two years in other countries. If I would go 211 00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:03,641 Speaker 1: to Turkey or somewhere else, they would come also there. 212 00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:08,361 Speaker 1: So I'm planning to see them this August actually with 213 00:13:08,361 --> 00:13:10,081 Speaker 1: my sister as well. So I haven't seen her for 214 00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:15,161 Speaker 1: many years. And my sister saying like she's younger sister, 215 00:13:15,241 --> 00:13:18,361 Speaker 1: like five years younger, and she had she also had 216 00:13:18,361 --> 00:13:20,241 Speaker 1: these fears like I don't know, like my dad like 217 00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:23,521 Speaker 1: it's just very kind of like I love him, but 218 00:13:23,681 --> 00:13:25,281 Speaker 1: like I mean, don't get me wrong, I mean I 219 00:13:25,281 --> 00:13:28,201 Speaker 1: would never be I would never do the same things 220 00:13:28,281 --> 00:13:30,481 Speaker 1: like my dad did for me and my sister to 221 00:13:30,521 --> 00:13:32,721 Speaker 1: my son, like, and my son always said like, oh mom, 222 00:13:32,721 --> 00:13:34,761 Speaker 1: you're so cool, like he trusts me. He comes and 223 00:13:34,801 --> 00:13:37,361 Speaker 1: he says, I have a girlfriend. I lost my virginity? 224 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,361 Speaker 1: Can you mentione it? So cool? Like that's amazing. I 225 00:13:40,401 --> 00:13:42,921 Speaker 1: mean it's so nice to hear like you know, like 226 00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:46,921 Speaker 1: it's just I'm so happy that you can share these 227 00:13:46,961 --> 00:13:51,441 Speaker 1: things with me and with my dad. Like it's just 228 00:13:51,521 --> 00:13:55,361 Speaker 1: like we were always so he was he was very 229 00:13:55,401 --> 00:14:00,241 Speaker 1: cold father, so I you know, I couldn't say no. 230 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,721 Speaker 1: And then do you think he brought. 231 00:14:02,521 --> 00:14:06,881 Speaker 2: The militry home to brought his way home? He always 232 00:14:06,881 --> 00:14:07,841 Speaker 2: brought it home. Yeah. 233 00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:12,001 Speaker 1: Yeah. My mom used to say, I mean, darling, don't 234 00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:15,041 Speaker 1: forget your at home. You're not at work anymore. Because 235 00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:18,321 Speaker 1: he used to have so many soldiers underneath, like and 236 00:14:18,361 --> 00:14:20,801 Speaker 1: he would just like command them and you know, I'm 237 00:14:20,841 --> 00:14:24,321 Speaker 1: talking about like thousands of soldiers. And of course he 238 00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:27,081 Speaker 1: would be like you know with this, like I say 239 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:29,961 Speaker 1: so like you know, yes, sir, like this kind of stuff, 240 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,441 Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, we're at home, like three 241 00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,081 Speaker 1: females and like we can all like yes or like 242 00:14:35,121 --> 00:14:39,201 Speaker 1: it's always like you know, there's different things like females 243 00:14:39,281 --> 00:14:43,201 Speaker 1: are very you know, fragile, and of course it was 244 00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:47,521 Speaker 1: really really hard, so I mean, but yes, God bless them. 245 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,681 Speaker 2: Do you think do you think you missed out on 246 00:14:49,721 --> 00:14:50,561 Speaker 2: a childhood? 247 00:14:51,881 --> 00:14:52,721 Speaker 1: My dad? 248 00:14:53,201 --> 00:14:55,561 Speaker 2: No, you do? You think me. 249 00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:57,841 Speaker 1: Totally like I never really had a child, but of 250 00:14:57,921 --> 00:15:01,321 Speaker 1: course not. First of all, it was pretty stroya. The 251 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,281 Speaker 1: revolution after the US is our fall. And then you know, 252 00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:09,001 Speaker 1: it was really really hard time because everybody were in 253 00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:12,801 Speaker 1: hunger and hunger so everybody didn't have food. You would 254 00:15:12,841 --> 00:15:15,001 Speaker 1: go to the shop, there was no food at all. 255 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,561 Speaker 1: You couldn't buy anything. Like you imagine you come to 256 00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:20,641 Speaker 1: the store there is no food at all, and you're 257 00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:24,281 Speaker 1: like starving, and you keeps at home starving. It was 258 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:27,521 Speaker 1: really sad time. So I remember that I would go 259 00:15:27,601 --> 00:15:31,121 Speaker 1: to the school and my mom like we didn't have 260 00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:33,921 Speaker 1: anything apart from just like you know, a piece of 261 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:37,201 Speaker 1: bread and water and like you know, no milk, no 262 00:15:37,201 --> 00:15:42,681 Speaker 1: no butter, no like pasta or whatever. And we had 263 00:15:42,681 --> 00:15:46,801 Speaker 1: to go through that sort of like starvation and surviving. 264 00:15:46,961 --> 00:15:50,041 Speaker 1: And I don't know, like if you ask me if 265 00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:52,561 Speaker 1: I had like happy memories about my childhood, I would 266 00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:57,081 Speaker 1: bring only one memory. And this girl always comes to 267 00:15:57,361 --> 00:16:01,281 Speaker 1: me in my dreams and I hope she's alive. It's 268 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:04,721 Speaker 1: as I said, there was so many homelesses, you know, 269 00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:10,001 Speaker 1: is just crazy. But the wars that they were homeless kids. 270 00:16:10,081 --> 00:16:13,721 Speaker 1: So what happened when the revolution? The better short cup again, 271 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:20,681 Speaker 1: all these thousands millions of people, they obviously didn't have 272 00:16:20,721 --> 00:16:24,601 Speaker 1: any money, any job, and a lot of them they 273 00:16:24,681 --> 00:16:29,361 Speaker 1: started to you know, use they would do it home, 274 00:16:29,481 --> 00:16:32,961 Speaker 1: like how do you call it, like the homemade alcohol, 275 00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:39,161 Speaker 1: like really bad quality muon shadow or something like this munshadows. 276 00:16:39,241 --> 00:16:42,841 Speaker 1: So a lot of people died because obviously it was 277 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:46,801 Speaker 1: not the right way they did it, but then it 278 00:16:46,921 --> 00:16:51,961 Speaker 1: created so many alcohol addicted people. It was just like everywhere. 279 00:16:52,361 --> 00:16:55,881 Speaker 1: So those kids, they kids, they were left by themselves. 280 00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:59,841 Speaker 1: So instead of like you know, schools also like it's 281 00:16:59,921 --> 00:17:03,121 Speaker 1: almost like nothing was working. Everything was like really bad. 282 00:17:03,161 --> 00:17:06,721 Speaker 1: So those kids was almost like thrown to the to 283 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 1: the streets, and you would go on the street you 284 00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 1: would see all these homeless kids and the parents got 285 00:17:13,761 --> 00:17:17,281 Speaker 1: nosewhere maybe they did maybe they I mean, like, have 286 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: you been in La, Okay? So I have never seen 287 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 1: anything like this anywhere, And like La, people say, oh, 288 00:17:24,681 --> 00:17:26,961 Speaker 1: there's so many homelessness. I'm like guess if you would 289 00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: see what was happening the time, it was after nineties 290 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,881 Speaker 1: in Russia, you would understand that this is okay. Where 291 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:38,641 Speaker 1: you literally go out on street and like everywhere everywhere, 292 00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:44,001 Speaker 1: all these you know, homeless kids and teenagers. It's like 293 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:51,360 Speaker 1: it's it was really sad. So I I had, you know, 294 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,721 Speaker 1: in a building where we used to live in one 295 00:17:54,761 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 1: of the apartments. They were like a female which was 296 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,561 Speaker 1: drug or you know, alcohol addictd I don't know really, 297 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 1: but he had she had a lot of kids, like 298 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 1: were five kids, and the youngest daughter was like just 299 00:18:09,561 --> 00:18:11,881 Speaker 1: three years old. She was like a little cute baby. 300 00:18:12,681 --> 00:18:15,721 Speaker 1: But because her mom was like somewhere or drinking or whatever, 301 00:18:15,801 --> 00:18:18,521 Speaker 1: nobody really took care about her. So she would every 302 00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: morning she would go outside and sit down on the 303 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 1: street and just like sit like this. No food, like 304 00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:29,961 Speaker 1: very dirty, no like no clothes, like you know, no toys. 305 00:18:30,321 --> 00:18:33,561 Speaker 1: And I saw her and I was the time. I 306 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,761 Speaker 1: remember I was in a second grade, so I was 307 00:18:36,801 --> 00:18:40,361 Speaker 1: like seven years old, and I would bring her like 308 00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: some sandwiches, I would feed her, I would wash her. 309 00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:46,641 Speaker 1: My mom was against that. Then I had to hide 310 00:18:46,681 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: some food and you know, feed her. I brought her 311 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 1: some toys and everything. It was like, you know, I 312 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,721 Speaker 1: still remember her eyes. So I think like that kind 313 00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: of like led me into the department. I don't know, 314 00:18:58,801 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: I mean, like it's destiny or whatever. I don't know, 315 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:04,400 Speaker 1: it led me into the department of you know, sort 316 00:19:04,441 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 1: of Dea in America, so people kind of understand it. 317 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:12,921 Speaker 1: It's a special department, which was that time, I think 318 00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:16,881 Speaker 1: again drug and human trafficking. So and it was so 319 00:19:16,961 --> 00:19:22,120 Speaker 1: connected because you know, like these two criminal worlds obviously connected, 320 00:19:22,201 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 1: and then there were so many these homeless kids, so 321 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:30,801 Speaker 1: it was so easy for criminals just to kidnap them, 322 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:35,121 Speaker 1: take them basically and sell it to other countries. I'm 323 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:40,880 Speaker 1: talking about Albania, Greece and the countries. So if well, 324 00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:46,640 Speaker 1: we had the one case and my my friend who 325 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:51,801 Speaker 1: passed away recently, she was on you know, the the 326 00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:55,641 Speaker 1: main leader of the team who was doing that. So 327 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,041 Speaker 1: they were tracking those those under age girls who had 328 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:05,641 Speaker 1: to walk through mountains to get the board of Greece 329 00:20:06,241 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: to be sold there. And from like she said, like 330 00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:14,921 Speaker 1: from like hundreds of them, only like thirty survived. I mean, 331 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 1: so I guess, like where were the buddies She's like 332 00:20:18,281 --> 00:20:21,521 Speaker 1: they just dropped them, they just left them there. And 333 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 1: that's what I'm talking about. Like it's like it's super 334 00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: super super bad. It's very sad, it's empty human. And 335 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 1: I think, like this my childhood memories with this, like 336 00:20:33,761 --> 00:20:35,801 Speaker 1: what I've seen with my eyes and then what I've 337 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,881 Speaker 1: seen when I was eighteen years old and we would 338 00:20:39,561 --> 00:20:44,161 Speaker 1: infiltrate houses where I would see all these sex abuse, 339 00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:48,561 Speaker 1: sex traffic kids being overdose and all the bodies which 340 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,360 Speaker 1: just lay on the floor and they would just like 341 00:20:50,441 --> 00:20:53,681 Speaker 1: thrown away to the rubbish. And I mean, like it's 342 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,721 Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain, but it's something which 343 00:20:57,801 --> 00:21:02,521 Speaker 1: never leaves you. It's like stays inside of your heart 344 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: and soul. And when I see that, of course I 345 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:08,801 Speaker 1: cannot not accept that. And I'm working right now and 346 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,681 Speaker 1: I'm so blessed to be in a safe space, rate 347 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:17,521 Speaker 1: place which is America. It gave me home and amazing 348 00:21:17,561 --> 00:21:19,961 Speaker 1: people actually come into my life and they say, well, 349 00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:22,641 Speaker 1: like I want to help you. I said, like, well, 350 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:26,041 Speaker 1: I would love to found well own charitable foundation to 351 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,001 Speaker 1: help those kids who've been sex trafficked or like help 352 00:21:29,041 --> 00:21:34,081 Speaker 1: them to get escape, help orphan kids, especially because when 353 00:21:34,201 --> 00:21:37,120 Speaker 1: kid comes to this world. You know, they don't choose 354 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,641 Speaker 1: the family, like they just they're born. They're like absolutely 355 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 1: you know, angels, they just clean and like they come 356 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:50,521 Speaker 1: to this world with love and as adults, like not 357 00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 1: all of us, but a lot of us, we just 358 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:57,721 Speaker 1: don't understand that. And really, you know, I mean, it's 359 00:21:57,761 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: so sad that these kids they have to go through 360 00:22:02,241 --> 00:22:05,561 Speaker 1: the challenges of life and unfortunately become home they become 361 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,481 Speaker 1: criminals or prostitutes or even worse because of they don't 362 00:22:10,481 --> 00:22:13,721 Speaker 1: have any other options. They don't have education, The government 363 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:22,601 Speaker 1: usually don't support charitable orphan houses, orphanages, and it all 364 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,681 Speaker 1: becomes like a business. And if it would all help 365 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,360 Speaker 1: as much as we can those children who don't have parents, 366 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,721 Speaker 1: I mean, like the world would be much better place. 367 00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:39,400 Speaker 2: For sure, grow growing up. Did you ever see that 368 00:22:39,481 --> 00:22:42,801 Speaker 2: kind of stuff, like before you went joined the military? 369 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,561 Speaker 1: So yeah, so I've seen it myself when I was 370 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: a little girl and teenagure. 371 00:22:47,721 --> 00:22:49,521 Speaker 2: And how did how did you feel when you've seen 372 00:22:49,521 --> 00:22:52,401 Speaker 2: that when you were a little girl, Like was it 373 00:22:52,441 --> 00:22:54,521 Speaker 2: was it daunting for you or did you not really 374 00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:57,681 Speaker 2: know what was going on? Did you not really what's 375 00:22:57,721 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 2: going on? 376 00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: Like I mean like living in the house with a 377 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 1: high ranking officer talking about politics. They watching news NonStop 378 00:23:06,961 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 1: and still now, I mean, like we cannot talk about 379 00:23:08,961 --> 00:23:12,561 Speaker 1: politics with my dad. This is our taboo because like 380 00:23:12,761 --> 00:23:15,400 Speaker 1: when the Ukrainian War started and I started to share 381 00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 1: my Instagram my position where I set for the piece 382 00:23:19,801 --> 00:23:24,001 Speaker 1: and actually I open up about my past when the 383 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,481 Speaker 1: Ukraine War started, because like I mean, like come on, 384 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,561 Speaker 1: like it's like I still cannot believe this is still happening. 385 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: Like I can't believe that because you don't understand and 386 00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:37,041 Speaker 1: your listeners to understand. I mean, Ukraine and Russia it's 387 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:42,120 Speaker 1: almost like sister and brother like they have almost like 388 00:23:42,241 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: I don't know, like the statistically it's like maybe forty 389 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:50,121 Speaker 1: percent of Russian Russians Russian blood living in Ukraine and 390 00:23:50,201 --> 00:23:55,881 Speaker 1: vice versa. Or like couples which are like half one 391 00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: Ukrainian one Russian. And like kids, I mean, like we 392 00:23:58,481 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: are talking about like new generation, these kids, they are 393 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,601 Speaker 1: half Ukrainian and half Russian. How can you do the 394 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:10,201 Speaker 1: war between yourself? People get manipulated. They they just been 395 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:17,281 Speaker 1: like you know, dived into that manipulation game, and it's 396 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:22,120 Speaker 1: very sad that they're just being used and being killed 397 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:22,880 Speaker 1: for nothing. 398 00:24:23,441 --> 00:24:27,001 Speaker 2: Really well, it's about It's like it's like to say, 399 00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:32,161 Speaker 2: when Yugoslavia split and they split into Sabir and Croatia. 400 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. Yeah, same story. So before 401 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,640 Speaker 2: you get what h were you when you joined the military? 402 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,921 Speaker 2: Eight Wow? 403 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,641 Speaker 1: I like literally turned eighteen when that straight too? Well, 404 00:24:44,721 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: like okay, because I went up to seventeen. I was 405 00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:53,281 Speaker 1: like I got accepted to you know, to college to 406 00:24:53,481 --> 00:24:56,161 Speaker 1: university with all my classmates, and I was like, yes, 407 00:24:56,241 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: I'm going there, like nah, you know, like I was 408 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:06,521 Speaker 1: looking for the college sort of like you know, young 409 00:25:06,681 --> 00:25:11,281 Speaker 1: age where you still kind of like not adult, but 410 00:25:11,521 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: you have your kind of like freedom. You can live 411 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,640 Speaker 1: in the door, you can date someone. And I looked 412 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 1: to my like friends, and I was like I really 413 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,120 Speaker 1: want that. But instead my dad like just like he 414 00:25:23,201 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 1: took my papers from the college and he brought me 415 00:25:26,561 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: to the military. And I never experienced that feeling. I 416 00:25:30,201 --> 00:25:31,401 Speaker 1: never experienced, like you know. 417 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,281 Speaker 2: Sweetheart love, you never had a boyfriend. 418 00:25:34,801 --> 00:25:38,441 Speaker 1: No, I was when I came to the apartment, I 419 00:25:38,481 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: was like basically first raped and I was virgin, and 420 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 1: then I was just like completely like constantly you know, 421 00:25:47,001 --> 00:25:53,721 Speaker 1: sexually abused by much older man who wore my commanders 422 00:25:53,801 --> 00:25:56,081 Speaker 1: and I and I was like, oh my god, this 423 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,001 Speaker 1: is this is sex, this is love, like seriously, like 424 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:01,640 Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't, I couldn't understand these kind of things. 425 00:26:01,681 --> 00:26:05,561 Speaker 1: But unfortunately I missed that, you know, I missed that 426 00:26:06,681 --> 00:26:10,441 Speaker 1: sweetheart years. And when I see my son right now 427 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: dating his girl and his day of fifteen, and you 428 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,761 Speaker 1: know they're from high school and they're so cute, I 429 00:26:17,921 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: just feel like, I mean, my dad would not allow 430 00:26:21,001 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 1: that for sure, but of course I do allow my 431 00:26:24,321 --> 00:26:29,640 Speaker 1: son to relationship and I kind of like live through 432 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 1: him right now, and I just enjoy looking at them 433 00:26:33,441 --> 00:26:36,441 Speaker 1: and just you know when they build this first love 434 00:26:36,561 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 1: relationship and it's so beautiful and they just you know, 435 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: doing so many things together. They're going actually today tomorrow 436 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:49,001 Speaker 1: to help one charity to they're doing like a vand 437 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:54,481 Speaker 1: to raise some money for children who have artistic skills. 438 00:26:54,481 --> 00:26:57,561 Speaker 1: But they don't have, you know, money to pay for 439 00:26:58,441 --> 00:27:01,400 Speaker 1: they kind of assay so like you know, pants or 440 00:27:01,441 --> 00:27:05,921 Speaker 1: anything like this, so that would be nice. So so yeah, 441 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,681 Speaker 1: I you know, you didn't. 442 00:27:08,561 --> 00:27:11,201 Speaker 2: You didn't try to sneak, like sneakily have a date 443 00:27:11,281 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 2: or anything like that before you I. 444 00:27:13,241 --> 00:27:19,121 Speaker 3: Mean like no, I mean I remember, like I remember 445 00:27:19,241 --> 00:27:24,681 Speaker 3: once one time I begged my parents. 446 00:27:24,721 --> 00:27:29,880 Speaker 1: I was sixteen, already like seventeen, like I think, like 447 00:27:29,921 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 1: I gregated at seventeen, right, so I backed my I 448 00:27:33,441 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 1: think I was seventeen. So I have never kissed a 449 00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:39,281 Speaker 1: boy at seventeen, never touched his hand. I was so shy, 450 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,001 Speaker 1: I was so nerdy, it was like insane. So first 451 00:27:42,041 --> 00:27:45,441 Speaker 1: time I begged my parents please let me stay till 452 00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:49,761 Speaker 1: nine pm at the disco, you know, like in the school, 453 00:27:51,001 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 1: and they, thank god, they allowed me. So what I 454 00:27:54,721 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 1: did I put like a skirt is always like you know, 455 00:27:57,201 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 1: like a long skirt. But then I was a tailor, 456 00:28:00,001 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 1: so I took my grandis, I took my grandy skirt. 457 00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:08,801 Speaker 1: I did it like really cool shirt, you know, shirt skirt, 458 00:28:08,961 --> 00:28:12,841 Speaker 1: and I put it and Denise and I came to 459 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:17,281 Speaker 1: the disco party and I took this shirt like the 460 00:28:17,441 --> 00:28:19,801 Speaker 1: told the dig skirt. I took it out and like 461 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,641 Speaker 1: you know, I probably had already that time. Quite nice, buddy, 462 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:29,481 Speaker 1: I don't wanted to be leave. And the guy from 463 00:28:29,521 --> 00:28:32,841 Speaker 1: another class, like which is older, I didn't know him. 464 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,521 Speaker 1: I have never seen him. I mean like I was 465 00:28:34,561 --> 00:28:36,761 Speaker 1: a nerd, but I took off my glasses, I did 466 00:28:36,801 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 1: like some nice hair, I put a little bit lipstick 467 00:28:39,481 --> 00:28:42,081 Speaker 1: of my friend. I was not allowed to put any 468 00:28:42,161 --> 00:28:45,321 Speaker 1: many cure any makeup on my face. So the guy 469 00:28:45,441 --> 00:28:47,881 Speaker 1: comes to me and he you know, asked me for 470 00:28:47,961 --> 00:28:50,281 Speaker 1: to dance with him to the dance and then he says, 471 00:28:51,721 --> 00:28:54,561 Speaker 1: I want to, like, you know, walk you home. And 472 00:28:54,601 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 1: I was so scared and I lich and he's like, 473 00:28:58,281 --> 00:29:01,281 Speaker 1: I will wait for you outside of the school. I'm 474 00:29:01,321 --> 00:29:07,401 Speaker 1: like okay. So now, like I already was so scared 475 00:29:07,521 --> 00:29:10,321 Speaker 1: and sort of traumatized. If my dad will see him, 476 00:29:10,521 --> 00:29:13,001 Speaker 1: he will like beat me and all that. So I 477 00:29:13,601 --> 00:29:17,561 Speaker 1: literally ran away and I never saw him, and I still, 478 00:29:17,681 --> 00:29:19,921 Speaker 1: you know, at this age, I still remember his face. 479 00:29:20,601 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 1: And like when I speak with my students and they 480 00:29:23,321 --> 00:29:26,801 Speaker 1: usually say that, well, I was reaped, And especially when 481 00:29:27,401 --> 00:29:32,601 Speaker 1: if you like virgin and you were reaped for a woman, 482 00:29:32,761 --> 00:29:36,521 Speaker 1: the first intercourse is so important because like this is 483 00:29:36,681 --> 00:29:39,841 Speaker 1: you know, this is the first time. It's very special 484 00:29:40,081 --> 00:29:43,041 Speaker 1: and it's very painful, you know, like don't forget it's 485 00:29:43,401 --> 00:29:47,841 Speaker 1: you know, first time, and it's you know, like it's 486 00:29:47,881 --> 00:29:53,161 Speaker 1: this kind of like discomfort like because you you didn't 487 00:29:53,361 --> 00:29:55,681 Speaker 1: really I mean, like you'd understand your body, but you 488 00:29:55,721 --> 00:30:00,361 Speaker 1: don't understand how does it work fully? And losing your 489 00:30:00,441 --> 00:30:04,361 Speaker 1: virginity with somebody whom you like and you accept him 490 00:30:04,401 --> 00:30:08,961 Speaker 1: and you want want to be with him, this is amazing, 491 00:30:09,121 --> 00:30:14,521 Speaker 1: like the way I see you know, first love, you know, 492 00:30:14,561 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 1: like Roman Duli, these sort of things. But and I 493 00:30:19,241 --> 00:30:22,241 Speaker 1: had this like thought after that, I wish I could 494 00:30:22,481 --> 00:30:25,761 Speaker 1: lose my virginity before with him, rather than being raped 495 00:30:25,801 --> 00:30:29,401 Speaker 1: by the forty eight years old you know, commander in 496 00:30:29,441 --> 00:30:32,241 Speaker 1: a really bad way, like with the you know, all 497 00:30:32,321 --> 00:30:37,321 Speaker 1: the and handling and all that. So I so, yeah, 498 00:30:37,361 --> 00:30:40,721 Speaker 1: So I feel like I missed that boyfriend girlfriend things. 499 00:30:40,761 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: And I honestly never had that after that time, Like 500 00:30:43,321 --> 00:30:45,441 Speaker 1: I just I never did. 501 00:30:45,961 --> 00:30:48,601 Speaker 2: Did your father not know about that? Like what was 502 00:30:48,641 --> 00:30:49,601 Speaker 2: going on yeat that time? 503 00:30:49,641 --> 00:30:52,641 Speaker 1: I already did. So in the military used to stay 504 00:30:52,681 --> 00:30:55,521 Speaker 1: in the dorm, you know, like it's it's almost like 505 00:30:55,561 --> 00:30:58,761 Speaker 1: so it's a it's academy, it's a college. So you 506 00:30:58,801 --> 00:31:02,241 Speaker 1: go there, you study, then you go to sleep there, 507 00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:07,401 Speaker 1: then early morning repeat. And I remember I slept and 508 00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:10,121 Speaker 1: we're all, I mean, like everybody slept like me four 509 00:31:10,161 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 1: hours at least, like we didn't have a lot of sleep. 510 00:31:13,881 --> 00:31:18,681 Speaker 1: And when you know, we spoke with Neil, with Neil Strauss, 511 00:31:19,841 --> 00:31:22,321 Speaker 1: and you know, I kind of like for all these 512 00:31:22,401 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 1: years I never came back and I kind of like 513 00:31:24,561 --> 00:31:27,281 Speaker 1: analyzed what like why they were doing this, like what 514 00:31:27,361 --> 00:31:30,081 Speaker 1: they were doing, and then he said like, well, they 515 00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:35,241 Speaker 1: probably did it for easily mentally brainwash you, because when 516 00:31:35,241 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: you physically tired and exhausted, that then it's easy to 517 00:31:39,041 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: program your brain and to feed you with some bs 518 00:31:43,241 --> 00:31:45,801 Speaker 1: which they want to feed you. You know, like you 519 00:31:45,921 --> 00:31:48,841 Speaker 1: have to be patriotic, you have to fight for your 520 00:31:49,321 --> 00:31:51,921 Speaker 1: you know, country, it's a war right now in Chichen. 521 00:31:52,241 --> 00:31:57,641 Speaker 1: Who wants to be hero? And you mentally exhausted, physically exhausted, 522 00:31:57,721 --> 00:32:02,361 Speaker 1: so you kind of like you just follow someone sleep 523 00:32:02,641 --> 00:32:03,921 Speaker 1: without even thinking. 524 00:32:04,521 --> 00:32:08,721 Speaker 2: So when you were eighteen, I seen that you were 525 00:32:08,801 --> 00:32:14,561 Speaker 2: selected from one hundred, three hundred and fifty students to 526 00:32:14,681 --> 00:32:16,761 Speaker 2: join the KGB. How did that feel? 527 00:32:18,121 --> 00:32:19,161 Speaker 1: Awful? 528 00:32:19,481 --> 00:32:20,801 Speaker 2: Was that? Was that? Was that? Your goal? 529 00:32:21,041 --> 00:32:21,081 Speaker 1: Is? 530 00:32:21,281 --> 00:32:23,081 Speaker 2: Is that what you're going? Is that what you're raying for? 531 00:32:23,281 --> 00:32:29,361 Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't know exactly what was this program about. 532 00:32:30,401 --> 00:32:33,641 Speaker 1: All the students who were enrolled in the first you 533 00:32:33,681 --> 00:32:38,761 Speaker 1: know course of the military academy where we would study 534 00:32:38,921 --> 00:32:47,081 Speaker 1: just like basic things like gun shooting, martial arts. Also 535 00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:51,041 Speaker 1: like how to open the doors, like all these like 536 00:32:51,561 --> 00:32:54,441 Speaker 1: you know, spy sort of gudgets. But it's like kind 537 00:32:54,481 --> 00:32:56,841 Speaker 1: of like just technical stuff, like it's not really like 538 00:32:56,921 --> 00:32:58,801 Speaker 1: where to put the cameras, how to put like the 539 00:32:58,841 --> 00:33:02,521 Speaker 1: viral blah blah blah, all these like technical things, and 540 00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: of course a lot of like law, what you're allowed 541 00:33:06,241 --> 00:33:07,801 Speaker 1: to do, what you don't allow to do, when you 542 00:33:07,801 --> 00:33:09,681 Speaker 1: can shoot with you and you cannot shoot, like all 543 00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:15,520 Speaker 1: this like criminal and administrative law rules. So this is 544 00:33:15,641 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: like normal basic education. I've been choosing for this program 545 00:33:22,361 --> 00:33:27,761 Speaker 1: because they were looking for you know, certain There were 546 00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:32,601 Speaker 1: a really strict condition to get to this course, the 547 00:33:32,681 --> 00:33:34,681 Speaker 1: sex spanage course. First of all, you have to be 548 00:33:34,961 --> 00:33:38,201 Speaker 1: you had to be added twenty five. I don't know why, 549 00:33:38,281 --> 00:33:41,761 Speaker 1: but I guess I don't know. You had to be 550 00:33:43,921 --> 00:33:49,641 Speaker 1: very physically attractive, you know, like it's almost like a 551 00:33:49,721 --> 00:33:52,561 Speaker 1: ballet sort of like school. If you're not told enough, 552 00:33:52,561 --> 00:33:54,761 Speaker 1: if you're not slim enough, sorry but you can't be 553 00:33:54,841 --> 00:33:59,601 Speaker 1: a ballet dancer. We had to all have like minimum 554 00:33:59,601 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 1: one hundred and seventy centimeters height. We had to have 555 00:34:05,281 --> 00:34:08,481 Speaker 1: like we had we had to be very mentally stable, 556 00:34:08,601 --> 00:34:13,281 Speaker 1: so we had these all these psychological like tests. We 557 00:34:13,441 --> 00:34:18,321 Speaker 1: had to be I mean like we had like genecology 558 00:34:18,401 --> 00:34:21,041 Speaker 1: also examinations, so we had to be like sort of 559 00:34:21,121 --> 00:34:28,961 Speaker 1: like I mean, be healthy. And I mean they were 560 00:34:29,041 --> 00:34:36,681 Speaker 1: like what else single obviously the devotion for the for 561 00:34:36,881 --> 00:34:42,161 Speaker 1: the mission of course, and I don't know, it's like 562 00:34:43,201 --> 00:34:45,801 Speaker 1: it's like really like sort of like where they're choosing 563 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:50,801 Speaker 1: like the best soldiers for this program, and from three 564 00:34:50,881 --> 00:34:54,081 Speaker 1: hundred and fifty they chose only five females, including me, 565 00:34:56,641 --> 00:34:59,041 Speaker 1: and we all were kind of like similar, but it's 566 00:34:59,121 --> 00:35:01,041 Speaker 1: kind of like different types. It's almost like you know, 567 00:35:01,161 --> 00:35:06,241 Speaker 1: like one blonde, one brunette, one ginger hair. Seriously, like 568 00:35:06,641 --> 00:35:09,001 Speaker 1: I'm telling you, like that's how we look like. And me, 569 00:35:09,361 --> 00:35:12,761 Speaker 1: I guess they choose me. So my my nickname was Exotic, 570 00:35:13,001 --> 00:35:14,761 Speaker 1: so I was the only one Asian. 571 00:35:14,881 --> 00:35:15,081 Speaker 3: I know. 572 00:35:15,161 --> 00:35:18,081 Speaker 1: It's funny, Oh you know, it's like in a sort 573 00:35:18,121 --> 00:35:21,681 Speaker 1: of like in the movie what's the name Charlie's Angels, 574 00:35:22,201 --> 00:35:27,721 Speaker 1: you know, same stuff, but five demons. So all of 575 00:35:27,801 --> 00:35:33,561 Speaker 1: us we were like so different, but young, beautiful, fresh, 576 00:35:33,721 --> 00:35:38,681 Speaker 1: you know, very alluring, but very dangerous, and I feel 577 00:35:38,721 --> 00:35:42,161 Speaker 1: like I still come this way. Unfortunately for me, I want. 578 00:35:41,961 --> 00:35:42,321 Speaker 2: To be like. 579 00:35:44,521 --> 00:35:47,281 Speaker 1: Really cannot like men usually say, oh my god, you 580 00:35:47,321 --> 00:35:49,561 Speaker 1: intimidate me so much, like I'm freaking out. I don't 581 00:35:49,561 --> 00:35:52,121 Speaker 1: know what to say. I'm like, dude, can you relax please? 582 00:35:52,521 --> 00:35:54,761 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I reckon you would be very intimidated. 583 00:35:55,601 --> 00:35:57,841 Speaker 1: I want to I don't want to be like this 584 00:35:58,001 --> 00:36:01,041 Speaker 1: aggressive sexy, like you know, bombshell. I want to be 585 00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:06,001 Speaker 1: like more like warm and friend lay and all that. 586 00:36:06,201 --> 00:36:09,041 Speaker 1: But I guess it's just my aura. It's like inside 587 00:36:09,081 --> 00:36:11,881 Speaker 1: of me, it's like how I how I am? It's 588 00:36:11,921 --> 00:36:15,361 Speaker 1: my nature. You know, you get what you get. I mean, 589 00:36:15,481 --> 00:36:16,961 Speaker 1: like you see what you get. 590 00:36:17,321 --> 00:36:19,721 Speaker 2: Well, well, the thing is that you're trained to do 591 00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:25,761 Speaker 2: that and subductile. So that's probably why you comment over 592 00:36:25,881 --> 00:36:28,881 Speaker 2: intimidating because you don't even have to do anything. You 593 00:36:28,921 --> 00:36:29,681 Speaker 2: look intimidating. 594 00:36:30,401 --> 00:36:33,521 Speaker 1: Oh, I mean you can be only nice to me 595 00:36:33,961 --> 00:36:39,561 Speaker 1: because I'll fucking yeah, you cannot do that to me. 596 00:36:41,401 --> 00:36:47,881 Speaker 1: And you know I never obviously, you know, I don't 597 00:36:47,881 --> 00:36:52,521 Speaker 1: have any enemies. All my axes and I the best 598 00:36:52,561 --> 00:36:56,881 Speaker 1: friends like that. I swear to God, I was married 599 00:36:56,921 --> 00:37:01,401 Speaker 1: five times with all my husbands, we like the best friends. 600 00:37:01,481 --> 00:37:03,841 Speaker 1: They're all this, like you're you're the best woman in 601 00:37:03,881 --> 00:37:07,921 Speaker 1: my life from one who passed away. Unfortunately, you're the 602 00:37:07,961 --> 00:37:18,561 Speaker 1: best I knew you would be. Like what. 603 00:37:19,201 --> 00:37:20,441 Speaker 2: I just to say. 604 00:37:20,361 --> 00:37:26,121 Speaker 1: That second season, Neil, you have to make Eventually it 605 00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:30,521 Speaker 1: will come in the whole thing, Like I mean to 606 00:37:30,681 --> 00:37:35,481 Speaker 1: spy period of my life. I had another, the most incredible, 607 00:37:35,601 --> 00:37:39,321 Speaker 1: the most Jason bondy period of my life for another 608 00:37:39,401 --> 00:37:44,961 Speaker 1: ten years. So it's another story. What I was saying 609 00:37:45,161 --> 00:37:50,641 Speaker 1: is I'm very friendly. I'm very diplomatic. I'm always saying, 610 00:37:50,721 --> 00:37:55,081 Speaker 1: like friends with everyone. I don't have any animies or 611 00:37:56,601 --> 00:37:59,481 Speaker 1: I don't know, like any like kind of like I 612 00:37:59,521 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: mean like I don't see them. I mean like all 613 00:38:02,561 --> 00:38:05,681 Speaker 1: my I have like millions of friends, I mean friends like, 614 00:38:05,721 --> 00:38:07,761 Speaker 1: I mean I know them, they know me, like I'm 615 00:38:07,801 --> 00:38:11,281 Speaker 1: always nice, we like catch up blah blah blah. But 616 00:38:13,441 --> 00:38:16,481 Speaker 1: it's like you know what, it's like, it's art of communication. 617 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:20,440 Speaker 1: So they may be intimidated in the beginning, but when 618 00:38:20,481 --> 00:38:22,761 Speaker 1: they really like open up and we talk and I 619 00:38:22,841 --> 00:38:26,161 Speaker 1: explain who I am, and you know, I kind. 620 00:38:25,961 --> 00:38:26,961 Speaker 2: Of like I. 621 00:38:28,601 --> 00:38:33,881 Speaker 1: Don't really make it in purpose, but I make sure 622 00:38:34,241 --> 00:38:37,361 Speaker 1: everyone who have bespeacted me feel good about himself. Like 623 00:38:37,401 --> 00:38:40,081 Speaker 1: you know, it's just sort of like providing a nice 624 00:38:40,161 --> 00:38:43,521 Speaker 1: atmosphere where people can also feel like comfortable with you. 625 00:38:44,241 --> 00:38:46,161 Speaker 1: So and then we become good friends. 626 00:38:47,001 --> 00:38:49,721 Speaker 2: You know what, You've sugguced them and you've got what 627 00:38:49,761 --> 00:38:51,921 Speaker 2: you want. Do you get bored? 628 00:38:53,401 --> 00:38:56,961 Speaker 1: This is one hundred percent yes. But I'm not greedy 629 00:38:57,201 --> 00:38:59,881 Speaker 1: or whatever like I was. I wasn't asking for money 630 00:38:59,961 --> 00:39:01,521 Speaker 1: or something like this, but I yeah. 631 00:39:01,321 --> 00:39:03,721 Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is when you've sueduced them, and 632 00:39:04,201 --> 00:39:06,241 Speaker 2: you know, because you know how to get a man, 633 00:39:07,281 --> 00:39:10,921 Speaker 2: when you've got that man that you want, it's game 634 00:39:11,001 --> 00:39:15,681 Speaker 2: over for him. Yes, yes, yes, yes, but it's also 635 00:39:16,041 --> 00:39:17,641 Speaker 2: but it also came over for you because you've done 636 00:39:17,681 --> 00:39:19,641 Speaker 2: the job. Do you get bored of that? No? 637 00:39:19,641 --> 00:39:23,401 Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I am I operate in a different way, Neil. 638 00:39:24,161 --> 00:39:28,201 Speaker 2: Okay, No suduction. 639 00:39:28,641 --> 00:39:33,601 Speaker 1: It's it's like a lifestyle. I seduction. It's art of 640 00:39:33,601 --> 00:39:36,761 Speaker 1: communication number one. And when I said, like, you make 641 00:39:36,841 --> 00:39:41,321 Speaker 1: people feel good about themselves, and I literally become in 642 00:39:41,441 --> 00:39:46,201 Speaker 1: any relationship like the best woman in their life. And 643 00:39:46,241 --> 00:39:50,601 Speaker 1: that's why we you know, we never ended up in 644 00:39:50,641 --> 00:39:53,721 Speaker 1: a bad way our relationship. It's always was like let's 645 00:39:54,081 --> 00:39:56,921 Speaker 1: you know, let's still be friends, let's be in you know, 646 00:39:56,961 --> 00:40:01,081 Speaker 1: each other's life. They know I got day back. I 647 00:40:01,121 --> 00:40:04,881 Speaker 1: know I got day back. It's something and it's incredible 648 00:40:05,081 --> 00:40:07,801 Speaker 1: that you know that you have, like you know, you're 649 00:40:07,841 --> 00:40:11,681 Speaker 1: in a circle of these people who really care about you. Okay, 650 00:40:12,401 --> 00:40:14,841 Speaker 1: and of course you know it's like we always keep 651 00:40:14,881 --> 00:40:17,921 Speaker 1: in touch and it's not just like happy New Year 652 00:40:18,001 --> 00:40:20,401 Speaker 1: or happy birthday, but like I just spoke a few 653 00:40:20,481 --> 00:40:23,961 Speaker 1: days ago with my uh, with my first husband, and 654 00:40:25,801 --> 00:40:28,641 Speaker 1: it's just like we keep friendship. I mean, like all 655 00:40:28,641 --> 00:40:34,761 Speaker 1: of them live in different countries though, which is. 656 00:40:34,921 --> 00:40:36,041 Speaker 2: How many countries did you say? 657 00:40:36,041 --> 00:40:42,161 Speaker 1: You went to London and London, Greece, Switzeraly friends now 658 00:40:42,921 --> 00:40:45,521 Speaker 1: us before in Russia, So seven countries I lived in? 659 00:40:45,641 --> 00:40:49,801 Speaker 2: Yes, awesome, so only five five husbands, but seven countries. 660 00:40:50,241 --> 00:40:58,761 Speaker 1: Fun marry again. I'm joking, like I hope that next time, 661 00:41:00,841 --> 00:41:05,881 Speaker 1: before till the end of our life. Still that I 662 00:41:05,881 --> 00:41:13,881 Speaker 1: don't know. It's just I do leave man when I 663 00:41:13,921 --> 00:41:18,801 Speaker 1: see that the man it doesn't want to evolve and improve. 664 00:41:19,961 --> 00:41:26,921 Speaker 1: When I see the man becomes sort of you know, 665 00:41:27,121 --> 00:41:29,721 Speaker 1: I'm a very ambitious person. And when I see that 666 00:41:29,761 --> 00:41:32,761 Speaker 1: my partner reached his certain level and he doesn't want 667 00:41:32,761 --> 00:41:37,361 Speaker 1: to go further, yeah, I say, listen. I love you, okay, 668 00:41:37,481 --> 00:41:40,121 Speaker 1: I love you so much, you amazing person. We had 669 00:41:40,201 --> 00:41:45,001 Speaker 1: amazing time together. But I need to fly, and do 670 00:41:45,081 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 1: you fly with me together? Either. I have to leave 671 00:41:50,481 --> 00:41:53,401 Speaker 1: you wherever you are in this place and I need 672 00:41:53,441 --> 00:41:57,121 Speaker 1: to fly there because I have my final destination and 673 00:41:57,161 --> 00:41:58,961 Speaker 1: I need to be there. This is my life mission 674 00:41:58,961 --> 00:42:03,921 Speaker 1: and it's more important for me than anyone or anything 675 00:42:04,001 --> 00:42:07,201 Speaker 1: in the world. I said to the Charitable Foundation, and 676 00:42:07,841 --> 00:42:11,321 Speaker 1: you know, raise the awardeness for these global problems. This 677 00:42:11,481 --> 00:42:14,561 Speaker 1: is me. This is why I came to this life. 678 00:42:14,641 --> 00:42:18,041 Speaker 1: That's why I you know, that's why I live, and 679 00:42:18,041 --> 00:42:20,001 Speaker 1: that's why I share my story. And actually I think, 680 00:42:20,041 --> 00:42:25,081 Speaker 1: like that's why I survive all this, you know, crazy time. 681 00:42:26,201 --> 00:42:31,641 Speaker 1: And I don't want to drugs anyone drop to the 682 00:42:31,801 --> 00:42:35,201 Speaker 1: destination where I'm going, you know, because like this is 683 00:42:35,281 --> 00:42:39,561 Speaker 1: wrong because everybody has their own agenda, their own goals. 684 00:42:39,641 --> 00:42:42,601 Speaker 1: If he doesn't feel this is what he wants, I'd 685 00:42:42,681 --> 00:42:45,921 Speaker 1: rather let him do what he wants in his life, Okay, 686 00:42:46,321 --> 00:42:49,161 Speaker 1: and I'll go there where I'm going. But it's good 687 00:42:49,201 --> 00:42:51,561 Speaker 1: to secure friendship because I don't want to like press 688 00:42:52,161 --> 00:42:55,401 Speaker 1: pressure someone or like push someone for what you know. 689 00:42:55,481 --> 00:42:58,161 Speaker 1: And also I will not take this person and put 690 00:42:58,201 --> 00:43:01,401 Speaker 1: on my shoulders and like fly because like the weight, 691 00:43:02,241 --> 00:43:04,881 Speaker 1: they'll like push me down and I wouldn't be able 692 00:43:04,881 --> 00:43:06,921 Speaker 1: to fly and do things what I need to do. 693 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:10,561 Speaker 1: And that's why when men understand that, and he comes 694 00:43:10,561 --> 00:43:13,241 Speaker 1: aground and say, I understand like what you're doing. I 695 00:43:13,281 --> 00:43:16,641 Speaker 1: love what you're doing. You have your you know, support, 696 00:43:16,801 --> 00:43:19,121 Speaker 1: my support, your freedom if you need to do it, 697 00:43:19,601 --> 00:43:23,041 Speaker 1: that's it. That that's my partner. But I haven't met 698 00:43:23,161 --> 00:43:26,321 Speaker 1: him yet, you know, and I know that I will 699 00:43:26,361 --> 00:43:30,321 Speaker 1: one day and you know, and then they'll text, youse, nil, 700 00:43:30,401 --> 00:43:30,921 Speaker 1: I did it. 701 00:43:31,961 --> 00:43:39,721 Speaker 2: He's very good. What was it? What was it like? 702 00:43:39,801 --> 00:43:42,481 Speaker 2: Going back to when you did you know that was 703 00:43:42,521 --> 00:43:45,041 Speaker 2: your job to do that? How would you do that task? 704 00:43:45,241 --> 00:43:46,681 Speaker 2: You know? How would you look at that enemy to 705 00:43:46,721 --> 00:43:48,401 Speaker 2: say this is how I've got to go about it. 706 00:43:48,881 --> 00:43:53,841 Speaker 1: Okay, So the most important rule I have to study 707 00:43:54,281 --> 00:43:58,561 Speaker 1: is when you approach, when you seduce, when you start 708 00:43:58,561 --> 00:44:02,041 Speaker 1: to communicate with men, never do this from the position 709 00:44:02,201 --> 00:44:05,601 Speaker 1: you want something from him. So because man and not 710 00:44:05,761 --> 00:44:11,641 Speaker 1: stupid girls. Men feel everything. It's almost like animal instinct. 711 00:44:12,201 --> 00:44:14,921 Speaker 1: When the woman come from the position, oh, look at 712 00:44:14,961 --> 00:44:17,161 Speaker 1: this guy. He has expensive watch, he has a like 713 00:44:17,241 --> 00:44:20,721 Speaker 1: expensive shoest h, he has expensive car. Now we'll like, 714 00:44:20,921 --> 00:44:23,401 Speaker 1: you know, seduce him, play with him, and he'll buy 715 00:44:23,441 --> 00:44:29,401 Speaker 1: for me. Like whatever, This is wrong approach because men 716 00:44:29,521 --> 00:44:33,001 Speaker 1: feel it straight and if he wants to just have 717 00:44:33,121 --> 00:44:37,401 Speaker 1: one night stand, he may do that and it will 718 00:44:37,441 --> 00:44:42,441 Speaker 1: be transactional. But this is not you know, healthy long 719 00:44:42,881 --> 00:44:51,121 Speaker 1: loving relationship right any criminal, any mafia, whatever, whatever, whoever. 720 00:44:51,441 --> 00:44:54,521 Speaker 1: They also feel it even more. If I would come 721 00:44:54,561 --> 00:44:57,201 Speaker 1: across and say like, oh hey, how are you blah 722 00:44:57,201 --> 00:45:00,561 Speaker 1: blah blah, you know, and start to seduce him from 723 00:45:00,601 --> 00:45:03,921 Speaker 1: the position that I need to seduce him because I 724 00:45:04,001 --> 00:45:06,001 Speaker 1: want to get someone from me out of him, I 725 00:45:06,041 --> 00:45:09,161 Speaker 1: want something from him, he would feel the same. So 726 00:45:09,321 --> 00:45:12,921 Speaker 1: every time I would approach, it has to be the 727 00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:19,960 Speaker 1: position from love, a truly love and real admiration. And 728 00:45:21,041 --> 00:45:25,801 Speaker 1: it's there are a lot of techniques which I actually 729 00:45:25,841 --> 00:45:30,681 Speaker 1: teach to my students, and we start from love to yourself. 730 00:45:30,721 --> 00:45:33,161 Speaker 1: If you want to seduce someone, you have to seduce 731 00:45:33,201 --> 00:45:38,281 Speaker 1: yourself first. So self love self esteem and self confidence. 732 00:45:38,361 --> 00:45:41,561 Speaker 1: This is number one. You cannot seduce anyone if you 733 00:45:41,681 --> 00:45:46,161 Speaker 1: have this balance in this organization. And sort of like 734 00:45:46,841 --> 00:45:52,521 Speaker 1: you know, some unhealed traumas okay, because you past will 735 00:45:52,561 --> 00:45:56,761 Speaker 1: catch up with you when you will start. Maybe man 736 00:45:56,841 --> 00:45:59,921 Speaker 1: wouldn't feel it, but when you will go deeper, man 737 00:46:00,001 --> 00:46:05,281 Speaker 1: would feel your you know, insecurity, sphears trauma and he 738 00:46:05,401 --> 00:46:07,561 Speaker 1: was like, you know, like there's so many shit to do, 739 00:46:07,641 --> 00:46:10,921 Speaker 1: like I just don't understand, Like I'd rather go, and 740 00:46:10,961 --> 00:46:15,561 Speaker 1: he will be moving out from you because he maybe 741 00:46:15,681 --> 00:46:18,441 Speaker 1: not even understand it, but I'm conscious that he would 742 00:46:18,521 --> 00:46:21,761 Speaker 1: read it through the vibrations you send to this man. 743 00:46:22,681 --> 00:46:25,520 Speaker 1: That's why it's so important to also work on your 744 00:46:25,721 --> 00:46:32,921 Speaker 1: mental balance, mental health, and it really helps. I actually 745 00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:37,681 Speaker 1: have a sessions with two therapists every week. It really 746 00:46:37,721 --> 00:46:40,121 Speaker 1: really helps me. I mean, like I think everybody has 747 00:46:40,161 --> 00:46:42,961 Speaker 1: to have a coach, a therapist, somebody who is like 748 00:46:43,001 --> 00:46:46,681 Speaker 1: guiding them and tell them you can do it. Here's this, 749 00:46:46,841 --> 00:46:48,881 Speaker 1: here is this, like we need to work on it. 750 00:46:48,961 --> 00:46:50,921 Speaker 1: We need to work on that because like that's how 751 00:46:50,961 --> 00:46:55,281 Speaker 1: our you know, brain is to disconnected with our with 752 00:46:55,441 --> 00:47:00,161 Speaker 1: our heart, with our soul. And as I said, like, 753 00:47:00,481 --> 00:47:04,681 Speaker 1: you know, men are very men mostly like they think, 754 00:47:05,241 --> 00:47:08,521 Speaker 1: but you know, like they're coming from a position of 755 00:47:08,601 --> 00:47:12,481 Speaker 1: alpha male, right like in the animal world. They feel, 756 00:47:13,601 --> 00:47:20,241 Speaker 1: is this femail real is that she really wants me 757 00:47:20,721 --> 00:47:24,361 Speaker 1: because old man has to have this sort of you know, 758 00:47:25,361 --> 00:47:28,361 Speaker 1: flag or like sort of like think like you know, 759 00:47:29,081 --> 00:47:32,441 Speaker 1: adult where I don't want to be used for money. 760 00:47:32,561 --> 00:47:34,321 Speaker 1: I don't want to be just a vullet for a women. 761 00:47:34,401 --> 00:47:37,801 Speaker 1: I want to be loved by for me. You know, 762 00:47:37,961 --> 00:47:41,001 Speaker 1: so when women compliment, oh I love your like jacket, 763 00:47:41,041 --> 00:47:44,321 Speaker 1: I love your car, this is bloody worse, like, don't 764 00:47:44,321 --> 00:47:49,361 Speaker 1: say it's women. Never instead say I don't know. Like 765 00:47:49,401 --> 00:47:52,601 Speaker 1: if you know the I mean, if you kind of 766 00:47:52,681 --> 00:47:56,921 Speaker 1: like know about him, you may compliment his intelligent level, 767 00:47:57,161 --> 00:48:00,281 Speaker 1: like oh I read your book or I saw your 768 00:48:00,841 --> 00:48:03,721 Speaker 1: you know, your bed on YouTube, or I listened to 769 00:48:03,761 --> 00:48:06,601 Speaker 1: your podcast and it was so amazing and like I 770 00:48:06,801 --> 00:48:09,001 Speaker 1: like this and this points and I have actually a 771 00:48:09,041 --> 00:48:12,881 Speaker 1: question about this in this way, you know, you kind 772 00:48:12,881 --> 00:48:17,801 Speaker 1: of like expressing to the man, to your target, Let's 773 00:48:17,841 --> 00:48:21,561 Speaker 1: say that you really admire his work and it's much 774 00:48:21,601 --> 00:48:24,841 Speaker 1: more important because man, they realize, you know, like the 775 00:48:24,841 --> 00:48:29,241 Speaker 1: whole realization than being a man goes through the work, 776 00:48:29,601 --> 00:48:33,881 Speaker 1: through what they create, what they build, and I think 777 00:48:33,921 --> 00:48:37,241 Speaker 1: this is a very important thing for any vieman to understand, 778 00:48:37,761 --> 00:48:40,601 Speaker 1: not to approach men or seduce them from the position 779 00:48:40,721 --> 00:48:42,521 Speaker 1: of you know, take. 780 00:48:43,161 --> 00:48:47,281 Speaker 2: Here's my next question. Then when you seduced one one 781 00:48:47,321 --> 00:48:51,361 Speaker 2: of your targets, you must have had some feelings for 782 00:48:51,401 --> 00:48:54,081 Speaker 2: one of them because it went fit. Well, how come 783 00:48:54,121 --> 00:48:54,961 Speaker 2: it went further? Then? 784 00:48:55,161 --> 00:48:58,321 Speaker 1: Okay, I have a special skill all my. 785 00:49:00,321 --> 00:49:04,441 Speaker 2: I bet you too, I bet you. 786 00:49:04,161 --> 00:49:10,921 Speaker 1: I have a lot people are is it's something I 787 00:49:10,961 --> 00:49:16,321 Speaker 1: think like a very I don't know if it's good. 788 00:49:16,601 --> 00:49:18,321 Speaker 1: I mean, like what is good? Was is bad? Right? 789 00:49:18,361 --> 00:49:23,881 Speaker 1: But this particular skill I try to teach my students. 790 00:49:24,121 --> 00:49:28,281 Speaker 1: But I will explain you this is very unusual. Okay. 791 00:49:28,881 --> 00:49:33,001 Speaker 1: I was trained to fall in love in the moment 792 00:49:34,041 --> 00:49:36,841 Speaker 1: when I have when I used to seduce my targets, 793 00:49:37,041 --> 00:49:41,481 Speaker 1: and I even know if I have very intimate relationship 794 00:49:41,561 --> 00:49:46,001 Speaker 1: with men, I'm devoted to this process. To this man, 795 00:49:47,121 --> 00:49:51,561 Speaker 1: not hungrid a one thousand percent. You know when I 796 00:49:51,641 --> 00:49:54,761 Speaker 1: it's something like he feels it, not from my bloody 797 00:49:54,761 --> 00:49:57,641 Speaker 1: and language. I'm just looking to you know, your eyes 798 00:49:57,841 --> 00:50:00,681 Speaker 1: And I don't take my iPhone to check something or 799 00:50:00,681 --> 00:50:04,121 Speaker 1: scroll something. I'm all in you, like doing massages and 800 00:50:04,201 --> 00:50:06,881 Speaker 1: like talking about out like different things, cooking for you, 801 00:50:07,521 --> 00:50:10,881 Speaker 1: nursing you, like asking like how was your dating about? 802 00:50:10,921 --> 00:50:12,801 Speaker 1: Like this and this and that, like the work stuff, 803 00:50:12,841 --> 00:50:16,521 Speaker 1: and like dreaming together, watching things together, going to do 804 00:50:16,601 --> 00:50:19,001 Speaker 1: some hobbies together. I don't know wherever it could be. 805 00:50:20,281 --> 00:50:24,281 Speaker 1: It's not just that I am fully devoted and fully 806 00:50:24,321 --> 00:50:29,561 Speaker 1: in love during that time I'm with you, the moment 807 00:50:29,721 --> 00:50:32,921 Speaker 1: I walked out from the door, or the moment I 808 00:50:33,081 --> 00:50:37,921 Speaker 1: just you know, say bye, I love you. It's just 809 00:50:37,961 --> 00:50:41,801 Speaker 1: my brain switch off like this and I'm completely you know, okay, 810 00:50:42,321 --> 00:50:46,641 Speaker 1: Like this is kind of like okay, done, and I 811 00:50:46,721 --> 00:50:50,081 Speaker 1: switch my brain to what I need to do. For example, 812 00:50:50,201 --> 00:50:53,361 Speaker 1: I just like switch completely to my work and I'm 813 00:50:53,521 --> 00:50:54,841 Speaker 1: really focused on my work. 814 00:50:55,601 --> 00:50:56,001 Speaker 2: Yeah. 815 00:50:56,041 --> 00:50:59,721 Speaker 1: And then the guy would say like, oh, I miss 816 00:50:59,761 --> 00:51:02,521 Speaker 1: you so much to miss me, and I'm like, honestly 817 00:51:02,641 --> 00:51:05,561 Speaker 1: like I don't, because like I have so many things 818 00:51:05,601 --> 00:51:08,440 Speaker 1: to do and I'm so focused on what I do 819 00:51:08,561 --> 00:51:12,401 Speaker 1: in real time that I don't have this sort of 820 00:51:12,481 --> 00:51:14,481 Speaker 1: like oh I miss you, I can leave it olah 821 00:51:14,481 --> 00:51:16,881 Speaker 1: blah blah blah. I mean, like come on, this is 822 00:51:16,921 --> 00:51:19,361 Speaker 1: like almost like desparation and like it's sort of like 823 00:51:19,401 --> 00:51:21,121 Speaker 1: you have the whole life around you. It's not like 824 00:51:21,201 --> 00:51:25,041 Speaker 1: it doesn't depend from him or from her completely, but 825 00:51:25,601 --> 00:51:30,561 Speaker 1: when I am with him, that moment he fills my 826 00:51:30,721 --> 00:51:33,321 Speaker 1: complete love doesn't make sense. 827 00:51:34,401 --> 00:51:37,081 Speaker 2: It makes Yeah, I get I get it. But what 828 00:51:38,281 --> 00:51:42,361 Speaker 2: I don't get is if you can switch off from doing, 829 00:51:42,721 --> 00:51:46,361 Speaker 2: from seducing what you're doing with your target and then 830 00:51:46,761 --> 00:51:52,241 Speaker 2: what you leave you're in work mode, then how come 831 00:51:53,401 --> 00:51:57,001 Speaker 2: one of your targets it says that you had an 832 00:51:57,041 --> 00:52:00,000 Speaker 2: affair with so you couldn't have switched off. 833 00:52:00,401 --> 00:52:03,841 Speaker 1: Okay, So the truth, if you want to know the 834 00:52:03,921 --> 00:52:09,321 Speaker 1: truth my life. Lass target was the leader of the 835 00:52:09,361 --> 00:52:16,201 Speaker 1: criminal gang. This gang was very powerful and very big 836 00:52:16,241 --> 00:52:20,321 Speaker 1: and very dangerous in Russia at the time. It's himself 837 00:52:20,521 --> 00:52:23,761 Speaker 1: was sort of let's say Pablo Escobar, sort of like that, 838 00:52:26,681 --> 00:52:30,041 Speaker 1: and the whole operation was quite you know, it took 839 00:52:30,161 --> 00:52:35,761 Speaker 1: like a long time. So eventually when I, you know, 840 00:52:35,881 --> 00:52:38,961 Speaker 1: established connection with him, seduced him and so on and 841 00:52:39,001 --> 00:52:42,561 Speaker 1: so on for a quite long time for me because 842 00:52:42,561 --> 00:52:45,841 Speaker 1: it was like a long drop, I have established a 843 00:52:45,881 --> 00:52:53,041 Speaker 1: good emotional bond with him and connection not just physical 844 00:52:53,041 --> 00:52:56,681 Speaker 1: connection but a very close very like deep emotional bond. 845 00:52:58,081 --> 00:53:03,801 Speaker 1: And I'm here speaking with you right now, sharing my 846 00:53:04,201 --> 00:53:09,601 Speaker 1: thoughts and my DearS to your audience. Thanks to him, 847 00:53:09,841 --> 00:53:14,641 Speaker 1: because if you wouldn't love me, and he wouldn't appreciate 848 00:53:14,681 --> 00:53:18,401 Speaker 1: me and respect me, he wouldn't sacrifice his life for 849 00:53:18,561 --> 00:53:25,440 Speaker 1: mine and helped me to escape. And after realizing that 850 00:53:25,721 --> 00:53:28,601 Speaker 1: I really was a moll, I was an agent all 851 00:53:28,601 --> 00:53:30,561 Speaker 1: this time. I set him up all this time and 852 00:53:30,601 --> 00:53:33,721 Speaker 1: manipulated him, and all this time I was not authentic. 853 00:53:34,001 --> 00:53:37,921 Speaker 1: Imagine that, like when you realize that this person is 854 00:53:37,961 --> 00:53:43,361 Speaker 1: not who like you think it is. Yeah, I, like 855 00:53:43,441 --> 00:53:46,081 Speaker 1: I said, like I'm just a students like this and 856 00:53:46,121 --> 00:53:48,521 Speaker 1: this I created the whole legend about myself which was 857 00:53:48,721 --> 00:53:56,441 Speaker 1: not real. Yeah, and yet I do believe that that 858 00:53:57,161 --> 00:54:00,241 Speaker 1: time when I was with him, I was so in 859 00:54:00,361 --> 00:54:05,481 Speaker 1: love and devoted. But the moment when he you know, 860 00:54:05,601 --> 00:54:08,641 Speaker 1: he put me to the car with his friend who 861 00:54:08,681 --> 00:54:12,440 Speaker 1: helped me to escape, and he drove me away from 862 00:54:12,681 --> 00:54:17,201 Speaker 1: that city, I remember that I wanted him to go 863 00:54:17,441 --> 00:54:20,121 Speaker 1: with me and escape with me because I was scared 864 00:54:20,161 --> 00:54:24,081 Speaker 1: to do it myself. Okay, I was twenty one, I 865 00:54:24,281 --> 00:54:29,041 Speaker 1: was young. I was scared. I like my commander set 866 00:54:29,081 --> 00:54:32,641 Speaker 1: me up, like I lost all the belief to the 867 00:54:32,681 --> 00:54:36,001 Speaker 1: whole system. I just like I didn't speak with my 868 00:54:36,081 --> 00:54:39,681 Speaker 1: parents that time already, like for a year. They didn't 869 00:54:39,721 --> 00:54:42,201 Speaker 1: know what I was doing where I was, like I 870 00:54:42,241 --> 00:54:45,921 Speaker 1: didn't have friends. I mean I was completely lonely. Plus 871 00:54:46,081 --> 00:54:49,801 Speaker 1: my partner in this operation was killed just a few 872 00:54:49,841 --> 00:54:52,601 Speaker 1: days prior, and he was the only one with whom 873 00:54:52,601 --> 00:54:55,401 Speaker 1: I had like all this connection with like working stuff, 874 00:54:55,401 --> 00:54:57,401 Speaker 1: like I would pass him information, he would give me 875 00:54:57,441 --> 00:55:00,681 Speaker 1: some ideas. I mean, I didn't have anyone. I was alone. 876 00:55:00,721 --> 00:55:03,441 Speaker 1: I was scared, and I wanted him to go and 877 00:55:03,601 --> 00:55:06,521 Speaker 1: be with me because I I didn't want to be myself, 878 00:55:06,641 --> 00:55:09,361 Speaker 1: especially I need to like travel and go somewhere and 879 00:55:09,441 --> 00:55:11,441 Speaker 1: do something. I was scared. I was scared that like 880 00:55:11,521 --> 00:55:14,201 Speaker 1: these criminals eventually will kill me, like something might They 881 00:55:14,321 --> 00:55:16,161 Speaker 1: was just like trying to kill me just like a 882 00:55:16,161 --> 00:55:20,321 Speaker 1: couple hours ago. You know, it was scary. But the 883 00:55:20,361 --> 00:55:22,441 Speaker 1: moment he put me into the car and the moment 884 00:55:22,481 --> 00:55:25,761 Speaker 1: I came to this like hidden place which he like 885 00:55:25,921 --> 00:55:30,961 Speaker 1: organized for me, I honestly now remember that. I was like, 886 00:55:32,001 --> 00:55:35,401 Speaker 1: you know, I closed my door. I was like, okay, 887 00:55:36,801 --> 00:55:40,281 Speaker 1: now what's next. So I don't know. I'm a loner, 888 00:55:40,441 --> 00:55:43,481 Speaker 1: like you know, like I'm just like, okay, so now myself, Okay, 889 00:55:43,481 --> 00:55:45,761 Speaker 1: what's next? What do I do? And like where I 890 00:55:45,801 --> 00:55:48,761 Speaker 1: am and what like did I miss him? I guess 891 00:55:48,801 --> 00:55:51,841 Speaker 1: I missed like that protection Did I miss him as 892 00:55:51,841 --> 00:55:55,281 Speaker 1: a man? I don't think so. I am truly grateful 893 00:55:55,321 --> 00:55:58,081 Speaker 1: for what he had done for me. But would I 894 00:55:58,121 --> 00:56:00,801 Speaker 1: be with this man for all my life? No? He 895 00:56:01,001 --> 00:56:05,321 Speaker 1: was still a criminal and despite to like he's you know, 896 00:56:05,401 --> 00:56:07,681 Speaker 1: he was very respectful and all that and all that. 897 00:56:07,721 --> 00:56:11,881 Speaker 1: I mean in another world, for example, if you would say, okay, 898 00:56:11,921 --> 00:56:13,801 Speaker 1: so he wasn't killed and he comes right now and 899 00:56:13,841 --> 00:56:16,201 Speaker 1: he says, I let's be together and let's build build 900 00:56:16,241 --> 00:56:20,241 Speaker 1: family and have kids. No, you know what I'm saying, 901 00:56:20,321 --> 00:56:22,000 Speaker 1: like that was my job. 902 00:56:24,001 --> 00:56:26,161 Speaker 2: Why why? But why when he found out that you 903 00:56:26,201 --> 00:56:28,641 Speaker 2: were modeled? Why why didn't he Why didn't he tell you? 904 00:56:29,281 --> 00:56:35,121 Speaker 1: That's the whole huge, you know story in the podcast 905 00:56:35,161 --> 00:56:38,681 Speaker 1: today for because it's it's it's a it's a very 906 00:56:38,921 --> 00:56:43,201 Speaker 1: very long explanation why all this happened. And I think 907 00:56:43,281 --> 00:56:45,961 Speaker 1: like the whole story is like basically built on that. 908 00:56:46,801 --> 00:56:49,721 Speaker 1: I would say, why because of the corruption and money 909 00:56:50,241 --> 00:56:54,481 Speaker 1: you know, that's it, like and you just it's all 910 00:56:54,521 --> 00:56:59,161 Speaker 1: about money, any worse, anything starts from money, from greediness. 911 00:56:59,721 --> 00:57:01,081 Speaker 1: That's why. 912 00:57:01,281 --> 00:57:05,801 Speaker 2: That's why I think you say on a few interviews 913 00:57:05,841 --> 00:57:09,041 Speaker 2: that you don't you don't fear for your life. Okay, 914 00:57:09,081 --> 00:57:12,161 Speaker 2: you don't. You don't, you don't fear about you know what, 915 00:57:12,161 --> 00:57:14,361 Speaker 2: what you've talked about and anything like what you're talking 916 00:57:14,361 --> 00:57:20,201 Speaker 2: about now about your past. But surely, and I already 917 00:57:20,281 --> 00:57:23,921 Speaker 2: go from what I I how I pursue that like 918 00:57:24,721 --> 00:57:28,321 Speaker 2: Moscow and Russia to be like that, you must be 919 00:57:28,361 --> 00:57:29,321 Speaker 2: a red flag for them. 920 00:57:29,881 --> 00:57:34,081 Speaker 1: I am, and I am not. I will explain I 921 00:57:34,201 --> 00:57:37,441 Speaker 1: like a lot of people said, oh, like Navla was killed, 922 00:57:38,201 --> 00:57:42,321 Speaker 1: you know, Litvinenko, the former KGB agent was killed, was 923 00:57:42,401 --> 00:57:45,361 Speaker 1: poisoned in London in two thousand and sixty. How come 924 00:57:45,721 --> 00:57:48,281 Speaker 1: you're not like, like you know, they're wishing me that. 925 00:57:48,561 --> 00:57:49,281 Speaker 2: Yeah. 926 00:57:49,521 --> 00:57:55,841 Speaker 1: But all of them, and I know exactly how this works. 927 00:57:56,601 --> 00:58:01,281 Speaker 1: All of them they shared number one names, number two, 928 00:58:01,721 --> 00:58:07,721 Speaker 1: details of the secret materials that are strictly you know, 929 00:58:07,881 --> 00:58:12,881 Speaker 1: secret in Russia. I'm not doing that. The whole My 930 00:58:13,361 --> 00:58:17,361 Speaker 1: past is about my past, my experience, my trauma. I 931 00:58:17,401 --> 00:58:24,281 Speaker 1: never mentioned any name of my commanders. I mentioned only 932 00:58:24,441 --> 00:58:27,721 Speaker 1: names of those my colleagues who were killed one in 933 00:58:27,761 --> 00:58:33,961 Speaker 1: the war, my partner, one in this last operation. Two 934 00:58:34,081 --> 00:58:37,361 Speaker 1: names only. I never shared the names of my teachers, 935 00:58:37,401 --> 00:58:42,281 Speaker 1: of my commanders. Nothing. I never even shared like when 936 00:58:42,361 --> 00:58:45,081 Speaker 1: it's like, you know all these details of like different things, 937 00:58:45,121 --> 00:58:51,761 Speaker 1: so I don't how to explain, like I stand for 938 00:58:51,841 --> 00:58:55,841 Speaker 1: the piece. But it's not like something like where I 939 00:58:56,041 --> 00:59:01,201 Speaker 1: explained that how put In does this war and how 940 00:59:01,241 --> 00:59:04,641 Speaker 1: did he become a president and what's going on because 941 00:59:04,761 --> 00:59:09,761 Speaker 1: of worse, I want to be alive. But yet I 942 00:59:09,961 --> 00:59:15,601 Speaker 1: do have fears. I because I know what's the system 943 00:59:15,641 --> 00:59:18,321 Speaker 1: then in Russia. I know like the way they are. 944 00:59:18,881 --> 00:59:22,761 Speaker 1: But because I decided, and I you know, I stand 945 00:59:22,801 --> 00:59:28,481 Speaker 1: for the peace, and I decided to share this not 946 00:59:28,561 --> 00:59:34,681 Speaker 1: from the position of the revenge, of the position to 947 00:59:34,721 --> 00:59:38,681 Speaker 1: help and inspire and ask for the forgiveness from the 948 00:59:38,801 --> 00:59:42,841 Speaker 1: audience who will listen to it. It's almost like I 949 00:59:42,881 --> 00:59:45,441 Speaker 1: would I know that I would never go and live there. 950 00:59:46,081 --> 00:59:49,521 Speaker 1: Even if something will go wrong in America, I still 951 00:59:49,561 --> 00:59:52,761 Speaker 1: will find the way and live another place. I will 952 00:59:52,801 --> 00:59:55,761 Speaker 1: never go back to that country. I'm actually I'm not Russian. 953 00:59:56,321 --> 00:59:58,961 Speaker 1: I'm from Kazakhstan. I mean, worse comes to words. I 954 00:59:58,961 --> 01:00:02,321 Speaker 1: can go to Kazakhstan if I want. What I'm saying 955 01:00:02,521 --> 01:00:07,561 Speaker 1: is that if I wouldn't do that, and I wouldn't 956 01:00:07,601 --> 01:00:10,921 Speaker 1: stand for what I stand, then who will do? Now? Violent? 957 01:00:11,041 --> 01:00:14,121 Speaker 1: Did he was? You know, he he died recently in 958 01:00:14,161 --> 01:00:17,161 Speaker 1: the jail and now we all know that he was 959 01:00:17,241 --> 01:00:21,641 Speaker 1: killed and his wife right now had received an arrest 960 01:00:21,801 --> 01:00:25,801 Speaker 1: from the Russian government living in Berlin. I mean, I 961 01:00:25,881 --> 01:00:28,081 Speaker 1: understand they can do it to me too, but again, 962 01:00:28,161 --> 01:00:32,321 Speaker 1: like what like do I go directly to the Russian 963 01:00:32,361 --> 01:00:37,121 Speaker 1: against Russian government? I don't. I sent completely for different things. 964 01:00:37,161 --> 01:00:39,601 Speaker 1: And as I said, like, I don't. I don't blame 965 01:00:40,001 --> 01:00:42,561 Speaker 1: Russian government for what have happened to me. I don't. 966 01:00:43,201 --> 01:00:46,961 Speaker 1: It's life, and you know, it's almost like blaming, like, oh, 967 01:00:47,081 --> 01:00:50,641 Speaker 1: this happened in my life because he was wrong. This 968 01:00:50,801 --> 01:00:53,321 Speaker 1: happened in my life because she was wrong. And guess 969 01:00:53,361 --> 01:00:56,561 Speaker 1: what like, because when we blame someone, we don't take 970 01:00:56,601 --> 01:01:00,521 Speaker 1: responsibility for ourselves. What happened in my life is no 971 01:01:00,521 --> 01:01:03,041 Speaker 1: one's fault. It's not my dad fault, it's not the 972 01:01:03,081 --> 01:01:06,601 Speaker 1: Russian government fault, it's not Poultn's it just happened. It's 973 01:01:06,641 --> 01:01:11,041 Speaker 1: my it's my path, and this was my challenge. But 974 01:01:11,361 --> 01:01:15,241 Speaker 1: I decided to take this experience and go to the 975 01:01:15,361 --> 01:01:21,321 Speaker 1: light and do amazing things rather than go to my 976 01:01:21,441 --> 01:01:25,521 Speaker 1: trauma and stay there and blame everyone around me, because 977 01:01:25,561 --> 01:01:28,001 Speaker 1: this is the position of the victim, and I don't 978 01:01:28,001 --> 01:01:30,641 Speaker 1: want to be a victim. I want to be creator. 979 01:01:31,641 --> 01:01:35,041 Speaker 2: I've got a question. Now you say, I'm actually going 980 01:01:35,121 --> 01:01:42,601 Speaker 2: to say the name because you're not, But do you 981 01:01:42,841 --> 01:01:48,201 Speaker 2: think Putin is very dangerous? 982 01:01:50,241 --> 01:01:54,241 Speaker 1: Mm hmm Me personally, I. 983 01:01:55,001 --> 01:01:58,721 Speaker 2: Know he's dangerous, But do you because because you know 984 01:01:58,841 --> 01:02:02,641 Speaker 2: that extent and what you know and seen, do you 985 01:02:02,841 --> 01:02:07,761 Speaker 2: think he is dangerous? And he is the type that 986 01:02:08,121 --> 01:02:12,721 Speaker 2: does not care and give two folks about and in 987 01:02:12,801 --> 01:02:13,481 Speaker 2: the world. 988 01:02:14,201 --> 01:02:19,561 Speaker 1: Like Thanas in Avengers movie from the Yeah, which also 989 01:02:21,561 --> 01:02:26,801 Speaker 1: Thanas also had his own mission, right and everybody have 990 01:02:27,041 --> 01:02:35,161 Speaker 1: the own truth, and even Hitler he had his own 991 01:02:35,281 --> 01:02:38,921 Speaker 1: mission and he did believe that he was doing what 992 01:02:39,041 --> 01:02:44,081 Speaker 1: he was doing for good. And if you will, and 993 01:02:44,161 --> 01:02:48,881 Speaker 1: that's why Press calls put In Butler if you and 994 01:02:49,001 --> 01:02:53,601 Speaker 1: you know, like I listened to his interviews in Russian 995 01:02:55,361 --> 01:03:00,761 Speaker 1: and when I listen to it, I see a lot 996 01:03:00,801 --> 01:03:06,561 Speaker 1: of similarities with the Hitler. It's not just like people 997 01:03:06,601 --> 01:03:12,401 Speaker 1: to say in craziness or whatever. I mean, it's sort 998 01:03:12,401 --> 01:03:19,081 Speaker 1: of a cult in a way where he believes that 999 01:03:19,281 --> 01:03:24,001 Speaker 1: he's saving his nation. He's saving his country, that's what 1000 01:03:24,121 --> 01:03:28,881 Speaker 1: he believes. The whole world understand that what he's doing 1001 01:03:29,041 --> 01:03:34,841 Speaker 1: is crazy. And actually this Ukrainian war open the gate 1002 01:03:35,521 --> 01:03:40,401 Speaker 1: for other countries to start other wars because they say 1003 01:03:40,441 --> 01:03:45,961 Speaker 1: it like, okay, so if they invaded Ukraine, why cannot 1004 01:03:46,041 --> 01:03:49,601 Speaker 1: we do that with the Israel, Why cannot do it 1005 01:03:49,641 --> 01:03:53,241 Speaker 1: with Taiwan? Like that's what Chinese think, I mean. And 1006 01:03:53,961 --> 01:03:59,241 Speaker 1: if we will accept and allow other wors happen in 1007 01:03:59,321 --> 01:04:03,361 Speaker 1: the world, it will affect all of us in the 1008 01:04:03,401 --> 01:04:05,641 Speaker 1: rest of the world. Of course, like US, Australia is 1009 01:04:05,681 --> 01:04:15,081 Speaker 1: a separate, big, amazing continent island country. But yet we 1010 01:04:15,161 --> 01:04:20,921 Speaker 1: all remember that when nuclear bomb was dropped to Japan, 1011 01:04:22,881 --> 01:04:27,721 Speaker 1: it did affect Japan a lot. But it's almost like 1012 01:04:27,801 --> 01:04:34,401 Speaker 1: a butterfly butterfly reaction, not like action where the reaction 1013 01:04:34,601 --> 01:04:38,361 Speaker 1: would lead into the whole world. It's just like the 1014 01:04:38,441 --> 01:04:43,561 Speaker 1: butterfly little like you know, flight can affect the rest 1015 01:04:43,641 --> 01:04:49,881 Speaker 1: of the world. Same story. I would say I was 1016 01:04:49,921 --> 01:04:57,041 Speaker 1: a little bit sort of like nervous. When I do 1017 01:04:57,121 --> 01:05:03,161 Speaker 1: believe it was February when Putting promoted in all the 1018 01:05:03,241 --> 01:05:08,481 Speaker 1: TV channels and US and everywhere that he showcased a 1019 01:05:08,521 --> 01:05:16,841 Speaker 1: new nuclear bombarder and not only like creating that, but 1020 01:05:17,041 --> 01:05:27,801 Speaker 1: also promoting that and bringing awareness that nuclear weapon is 1021 01:05:28,441 --> 01:05:33,081 Speaker 1: okay and it's normal in our life. This is terrible 1022 01:05:34,001 --> 01:05:40,961 Speaker 1: because don't forget that young generation watching also this in 1023 01:05:41,081 --> 01:05:45,601 Speaker 1: media right, and the young generation have this idea okay, 1024 01:05:45,681 --> 01:05:48,241 Speaker 1: So if somebody will mess up with me or like 1025 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:52,801 Speaker 1: do something there is like nuclear weapon. But do people 1026 01:05:52,961 --> 01:05:56,121 Speaker 1: understand that this nuclear weapon, even if it would be 1027 01:05:56,281 --> 01:06:00,401 Speaker 1: just like a certain area, it will affect the whole world. 1028 01:06:00,481 --> 01:06:04,881 Speaker 1: I'm talking about after long term, like after many many 1029 01:06:05,121 --> 01:06:07,961 Speaker 1: many years. I know for a fact, and I have 1030 01:06:09,281 --> 01:06:16,881 Speaker 1: a lot of Japanese friends where even after nineteen forty five, 1031 01:06:16,961 --> 01:06:20,321 Speaker 1: I do believe for the forty four the pump was 1032 01:06:23,001 --> 01:06:26,641 Speaker 1: dropped in Japan, after so many years, they still have 1033 01:06:27,401 --> 01:06:33,881 Speaker 1: radiation and it does affect they health, It does affect 1034 01:06:34,521 --> 01:06:39,641 Speaker 1: they lend, the plants, they consume, the fish in the 1035 01:06:39,721 --> 01:06:44,401 Speaker 1: ocean and everything, and we all connected in this world 1036 01:06:44,881 --> 01:06:49,161 Speaker 1: because we have eighty percent of ocean and those water 1037 01:06:49,761 --> 01:06:55,361 Speaker 1: eventually goes to where relieve, especially Yo guys closer to Japan. 1038 01:06:55,561 --> 01:07:00,401 Speaker 1: So sorry, that's you know what also affects you and 1039 01:07:00,521 --> 01:07:05,881 Speaker 1: the fish you consume and seafood you consume, and the 1040 01:07:07,201 --> 01:07:11,881 Speaker 1: you know, it's all like so connected with not just 1041 01:07:12,041 --> 01:07:16,401 Speaker 1: like the nature, but with all us as human beings. 1042 01:07:17,401 --> 01:07:23,201 Speaker 1: And I mean, if I were in power, if I 1043 01:07:23,241 --> 01:07:29,001 Speaker 1: would be able to have enough voice to raise I 1044 01:07:29,041 --> 01:07:35,241 Speaker 1: would one hundred percent bring an awareness of you know, 1045 01:07:35,361 --> 01:07:40,441 Speaker 1: erasing all the nuclear rippons in every country, in every country, 1046 01:07:41,281 --> 01:07:45,121 Speaker 1: because this is this is dangerous for all of us, 1047 01:07:45,401 --> 01:07:48,961 Speaker 1: and unfortunately people don't understand it. For them, it's sort 1048 01:07:49,001 --> 01:07:54,041 Speaker 1: of tool of uh showing to the world that oh, 1049 01:07:54,081 --> 01:07:56,721 Speaker 1: we are a powerful country, but this is not the 1050 01:07:56,841 --> 01:08:01,201 Speaker 1: right way. We will all end up being killed. If 1051 01:08:01,241 --> 01:08:07,401 Speaker 1: this will, you know, continue continue growing. And if putting dangerous, 1052 01:08:07,561 --> 01:08:11,281 Speaker 1: I mean, if you have such a weapon in your hand, 1053 01:08:11,561 --> 01:08:13,121 Speaker 1: of course you are dangerous. 1054 01:08:15,001 --> 01:08:18,840 Speaker 2: You're very You're clever with your your your answers. I 1055 01:08:18,961 --> 01:08:20,880 Speaker 2: like that you're very clever with your answers. 1056 01:08:25,121 --> 01:08:31,641 Speaker 1: Yes, I wouldn't be clever. I wouldn't serve in the military. 1057 01:08:31,681 --> 01:08:35,361 Speaker 1: I guess I would be like a week rist maybe 1058 01:08:35,481 --> 01:08:37,601 Speaker 1: like you get me wrong, which is also amazing. I 1059 01:08:37,681 --> 01:08:40,281 Speaker 1: actually had experience in my life when I was a 1060 01:08:40,321 --> 01:08:44,161 Speaker 1: waitress too. I mean, like you know, things friend in 1061 01:08:44,241 --> 01:08:47,161 Speaker 1: life sometimes you you know, money can't money go, but 1062 01:08:47,321 --> 01:08:50,321 Speaker 1: you always have to prepare. But again I would like 1063 01:08:50,401 --> 01:08:55,201 Speaker 1: to stress that you're you. You don't you are not 1064 01:08:55,561 --> 01:09:02,041 Speaker 1: born in this world being smart, or being charismatic, or 1065 01:09:02,081 --> 01:09:08,081 Speaker 1: being like intelligent or being you know, skilled, all these 1066 01:09:08,081 --> 01:09:13,041 Speaker 1: things you can learn. And again it's the more you 1067 01:09:13,121 --> 01:09:16,401 Speaker 1: learn is more you search, and it's more you like 1068 01:09:16,521 --> 01:09:21,521 Speaker 1: curis it's more better version of yourself you become. And 1069 01:09:21,601 --> 01:09:24,001 Speaker 1: this is the most important like have your own brain, 1070 01:09:24,681 --> 01:09:27,801 Speaker 1: have your own vision, have your own opinion. This is 1071 01:09:27,841 --> 01:09:31,521 Speaker 1: the most important thing in like that's what I do 1072 01:09:31,601 --> 01:09:34,281 Speaker 1: for myself. That's what you do for you know, for 1073 01:09:34,441 --> 01:09:36,561 Speaker 1: my son, That's what I eventually want to do in 1074 01:09:37,121 --> 01:09:43,201 Speaker 1: orphanage to give them very open mind education. 1075 01:09:43,481 --> 01:09:47,881 Speaker 2: Now your life has moved on, and now you have 1076 01:09:48,001 --> 01:09:51,561 Speaker 2: so many goals in your life to achieve and your 1077 01:09:52,201 --> 01:09:56,361 Speaker 2: subeduction life is finished. You don't have to seduce anyone anymore. 1078 01:10:00,721 --> 01:10:06,401 Speaker 2: What what What does the future the future hold for you? 1079 01:10:07,321 --> 01:10:12,961 Speaker 1: The future is very bright and with God blessing and 1080 01:10:13,681 --> 01:10:16,201 Speaker 1: with God's will. And I do believe this is my 1081 01:10:16,321 --> 01:10:22,201 Speaker 1: destiny because when I analyze certain events in my life, 1082 01:10:22,281 --> 01:10:26,121 Speaker 1: I understand I wouldn't be right now sitting here giving 1083 01:10:26,161 --> 01:10:30,321 Speaker 1: you interview if I if it wouldn't be for the destiny, 1084 01:10:31,241 --> 01:10:33,441 Speaker 1: I will not get in there. But I do believe 1085 01:10:33,441 --> 01:10:39,441 Speaker 1: in universe, science and angels which protect us. Usually it's 1086 01:10:39,521 --> 01:10:46,201 Speaker 1: our you know, ancestories, grandparents who passed and just you know, 1087 01:10:46,761 --> 01:10:49,800 Speaker 1: members of the family who really want us to succeed. 1088 01:10:51,961 --> 01:10:56,321 Speaker 1: I do believe this is my destiny. And I cannot 1089 01:10:56,401 --> 01:11:00,641 Speaker 1: right now tell every single project I'm working at a moment, 1090 01:11:00,881 --> 01:11:07,441 Speaker 1: but hopefully very soon there would be documentary, the TV series, 1091 01:11:07,721 --> 01:11:12,961 Speaker 1: feature movie, some other books coming and I'm working on 1092 01:11:13,041 --> 01:11:17,561 Speaker 1: this right now. But for the main goal to fund 1093 01:11:17,561 --> 01:11:21,561 Speaker 1: the charity and make it happen. And it's very like 1094 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:26,481 Speaker 1: you know, I would say, it's a global mission. This 1095 01:11:26,641 --> 01:11:28,521 Speaker 1: is what I want to do in my life till 1096 01:11:28,561 --> 01:11:31,561 Speaker 1: the rest of my life. And I know exactly how 1097 01:11:31,601 --> 01:11:34,681 Speaker 1: I see and I vision myself when I will be 1098 01:11:34,801 --> 01:11:41,601 Speaker 1: old lady sitting at the grass and I see this 1099 01:11:41,761 --> 01:11:44,361 Speaker 1: like beautiful green grass and I'm in the shed of 1100 01:11:44,361 --> 01:11:48,321 Speaker 1: a beautiful big tree, and I see a lot of 1101 01:11:48,441 --> 01:11:53,881 Speaker 1: kids at the playground, you know, just running around, giggling, 1102 01:11:54,081 --> 01:11:59,881 Speaker 1: laughing and just being kids in a safe environment in 1103 01:12:00,001 --> 01:12:04,321 Speaker 1: the beautiful world. That's what I want to I want 1104 01:12:04,361 --> 01:12:08,481 Speaker 1: to do everything to give this future. Okays for the new. 1105 01:12:08,681 --> 01:12:11,001 Speaker 2: Don't get your podcast. You have to plugy your podcast. 1106 01:12:11,041 --> 01:12:13,161 Speaker 2: You can't. You can't come on a podcast and not 1107 01:12:13,201 --> 01:12:15,481 Speaker 2: plug your podcast. Because it's now, as you said to me, 1108 01:12:15,561 --> 01:12:19,521 Speaker 2: now number six, So you know what I mean. So 1109 01:12:19,521 --> 01:12:23,521 Speaker 2: so tell everybody, tell everybody, everybody your podcast season. 1110 01:12:27,561 --> 01:12:31,441 Speaker 1: Well, it may be a second season, but you know, 1111 01:12:31,521 --> 01:12:36,041 Speaker 1: the last episode is coming next week, so it will 1112 01:12:36,041 --> 01:12:40,081 Speaker 1: be the last one. Now we have fifteen episodes. Sixteen 1113 01:12:40,201 --> 01:12:46,001 Speaker 1: is coming on Tuesday. So it's very exciting and I'm 1114 01:12:46,121 --> 01:12:50,121 Speaker 1: extremely grateful. I'm extremely grateful to so many people who 1115 01:12:50,161 --> 01:12:54,761 Speaker 1: work on this podcast, and of course Neil, who basically 1116 01:12:55,921 --> 01:12:59,721 Speaker 1: had from the beginning an idea of creating the podcast 1117 01:13:00,041 --> 01:13:08,321 Speaker 1: with my voice in it, with all the authentic emotions 1118 01:13:08,361 --> 01:13:11,641 Speaker 1: and feelings which I had, and it was extremely difficult, 1119 01:13:11,761 --> 01:13:14,001 Speaker 1: but we did it well. 1120 01:13:14,161 --> 01:13:17,401 Speaker 2: I want to say a massive, massive thank you for 1121 01:13:17,681 --> 01:13:21,201 Speaker 2: coming on my podcast. It's been worth the over twelve 1122 01:13:21,241 --> 01:13:24,561 Speaker 2: months that I've been talking to you. And I hope 1123 01:13:24,601 --> 01:13:26,841 Speaker 2: everything goes well to you, Thank you, Neil,