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Speaker 1: Apodjay Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy

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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana.

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Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to

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Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 1: We help you, shehad the shame grow to new level.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back

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Speaker 2: to another episode of She Rises. I'm Tiana and I'm Ashley,

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Speaker 2: and today we want to talk to you all about

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Speaker 2: the misconceptions of healing, what it means to go on

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Speaker 2: a healing journey, and how it actually feels to go

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Speaker 2: on a healing journey. Now, the reason why we wanted

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Speaker 2: to talk about this is because healing has made both

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Speaker 2: of us spicier.

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Speaker 1: Not softer. I love it. We want to talk a

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Speaker 1: little bit about this before we get into that. What

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Speaker 1: is your share of the week. I've got a really

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Speaker 1: good movie. Oh yeah, it's on Prime or Netflix. It's

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Speaker 1: on one of them, and it's called Drop Oh. And

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Speaker 1: it's basically this woman who is a widow and she

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Speaker 1: goes to a restaurant to go on a date with

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Speaker 1: this guy that she's met online. But while she's on

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Speaker 1: the date, she gets air dropped all these threats and

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Speaker 1: gets told what to do on the whole date. The

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Speaker 1: goal is for her to kill the guy she's on

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Speaker 1: a date with. She doesn't want to, but the guy

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Speaker 1: that's controlling it, she doesn't know where he is, but

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Speaker 1: he's obviously in a close vicinity, so he must be

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Speaker 1: in the restaurant. But she's got cameras all at her

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Speaker 1: house and she can see that her babysitter and her

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Speaker 1: son are there, and there's someone at a house with

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Speaker 1: a gun ready to go if she doesn't do what

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Speaker 1: they say. So she has to murder this guy she's

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Speaker 1: on a date with. And it's just like so stressful.

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Speaker 1: But I was glued to the TV. Wow, such a

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Speaker 1: good movie. Will drop drop everything. Like the main actress

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Speaker 1: but I don't know her real name, but she did

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Speaker 1: such a good job in the movie. Wow. Oh goodness.

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Speaker 2: All right, that stresses me out just thinking about it

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Speaker 2: that I kin't want.

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Speaker 1: To watch it. That's good, you'd like it, Okay.

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Speaker 2: My share of the Week is just a little quote

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Speaker 2: that I saw by Grant Cartoon, and the quote on

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Speaker 2: his page goes once, there's a mistake, twice is a decision.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, that is so true. It's a hard filter swallow.

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Speaker 2: And the caps is you teach people how to treat

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Speaker 2: you by what you allow, what you stop, and what

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Speaker 2: you reinforce.

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Speaker 1: And I just thought that was so cool because it's

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Speaker 1: so true.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, as a woman in my own journey,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, there are many times where I've you know,

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Speaker 2: a loud behavior that I didn't really want in my

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Speaker 2: life and then like made excuses for it instead of

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Speaker 2: just really reading the room and seeing behavior for what

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Speaker 2: it was and not as a bad thing, but just

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a reality.

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Speaker 1: Check, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's important for us to know that,

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Speaker 2: like everyone is a human as an adult, and they

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Speaker 2: are responsible for their choices. And yeah, I think we've

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Speaker 2: just got to know that people know what they're doing.

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Speaker 1: Definitely, they too. They stop trying to make things fit

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Speaker 1: that aren't fitting. That's right, believing what they say, but

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Speaker 1: the actions speak the complete opposite, that's right. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a really good quote. I didn't follow him. Is he

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Speaker 1: a motivational speaker?

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Speaker 2: He's actually in real estate. He's a big real estate guy.

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Speaker 2: He's like a multi billionaire, lives in America, and he

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Speaker 2: does post a.

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Speaker 1: Lot of stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: But he's also in sales as well, so he teaches

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Speaker 2: a lot of sales stuff, a lot of real estate

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Speaker 2: sort of stuff.

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Speaker 1: Epic. Yeah, it's really cool that. Alright, let me talk

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Speaker 1: about healing, shall we. What is your definition of healing?

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Speaker 1: What is healing?

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Speaker 2: I feel like healing is really being able to go

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Speaker 2: on the journey of acknowledging what hurt you, unpacking how

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Speaker 2: it has impacted you, how it's currently impacting you, and

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Speaker 2: then being able.

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Speaker 1: To show up in a different way.

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Speaker 2: So being able to really change the way that you respond,

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Speaker 2: change the way that you show up, change the way

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Speaker 2: that you relate to those experiences in your life, and

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Speaker 2: being able to overcome the story that you have around

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Speaker 2: those situations.

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Speaker 1: I love that you said it so well. To me,

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Speaker 1: it's like working through and releasing emotional pain that is

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Speaker 1: caused from trauma in our past or difficult life experiences

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Speaker 1: so that you can feel more at peace, connected and

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Speaker 1: grounded in your life. Oh that's not easy, but it's

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Speaker 1: just so necessary. And the healing journey it never comes

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Speaker 1: to a holt. You don't get to a destination like

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Speaker 1: I'm completely healed. No, there is always new things to unpack,

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Speaker 1: and that's why we will forever talk about it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we are always on.

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Speaker 3: A healing journey, healing broken and no, not broken, never broken,

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Speaker 3: nothing to fix, only to improve improve.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, Yeah, so cool. I think it's such a fun.

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Speaker 1: That's conflicting. People will be like, Tana, I'm not having fun.

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Speaker 1: This is exhausting. It is exhausting, right, don't want to

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Speaker 1: be doing it? You don't. But that's the thing.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people avoid a lot of people avoid,

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Speaker 2: and I get it.

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Speaker 1: I get it.

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Speaker 2: It can be really scary to face the things that

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Speaker 2: we have avoided for so long, especially if we've been

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Speaker 2: through something like a relationship breakdown, we went through grief,

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Speaker 2: we lost someone that we love, we went through something

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Speaker 2: seriously tragic, or there are things in our lives and

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Speaker 2: experiences we've had that really impact the way that we

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Speaker 2: show up now, that made us close up.

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Speaker 1: And like the world.

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Speaker 2: That's such a great fear, and it's easy to want

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Speaker 2: to avoid those things. But at least what I've noticed

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Speaker 2: is that in those moments, everything that you avoid just

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Speaker 2: gets stored in the backpack that you're carrying on your back,

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Speaker 2: and it just gets heavy heavier with the day.

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Speaker 1: Bursting, the backpack will break, It'll get too heavy that

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Speaker 1: you're burst. I love those analogies. Yeah, it's like a

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Speaker 1: boiling hot kettle. Yeah, it gets hotter and hot and hotter,

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Speaker 1: and the lid is gonna burst off. Yeah. It comes

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Speaker 1: out in anxiety or depression or angerageous or snapping at

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Speaker 1: your partner, your kids and showing up in a way

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Speaker 1: where you're like, who the fuck am I where did

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Speaker 1: that come from?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: This from suppressing it.

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Speaker 2: It's really exhausting emotionally. So it's like if you already

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Speaker 2: can't hold everything that you're experiencing in life, and then

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Speaker 2: you have a really bad day, automatically you're in a

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Speaker 2: worse headspace.

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Speaker 1: You don't have as.

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Speaker 2: Much patience for your children, or you aren't as loving

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Speaker 2: towards your partner, or maybe you're even really nasty towards yourself.

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Speaker 2: And I explained it to my client the other day.

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Speaker 2: Every emotion that you avoid kind of gets stored into

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Speaker 2: Like imagine like a dam right, a damn. It's got

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Speaker 2: this big wallets on the top of a cliff and

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Speaker 2: it's filling with water every time you avoid an emotion,

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Speaker 2: and then what happens is eventually that dam gets so

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Speaker 2: full that the water starts to spill over the dam

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Speaker 2: and crash down that damn wall. And that's like what

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Speaker 2: your emotions are doing when you were storing them and

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Speaker 2: you're avoiding them and you're not looking at them because

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Speaker 2: you're not processing them. So it will lead out into

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Speaker 2: everything that you do. Like what you just mentioned, you

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Speaker 2: have those emotional outbursts and it comes out in really

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Speaker 2: uncontrollable ways. But because not only are you addressing the

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Speaker 2: problem in front of you, you're also feeling stored emotion

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Speaker 2: from like twenty years ago, right, You're carrying that. That's

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Speaker 2: why it feels so much more heavy, and that's why

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Speaker 2: those triggers hurt so much more. You feel so much

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Speaker 2: more intense pain in those moments of all the stuff

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Speaker 2: that has been unprocessed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think there is times where it's true

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Speaker 1: that going on a healing journey is going to be

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Speaker 1: super hard, super uncomfortable, super triggering the whole time. And yes,

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Speaker 1: there would definitely be moments of discomfort, but it's not

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Speaker 1: all like that. I think there's a joy in finding

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Speaker 1: the right people to support you in your journey that

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Speaker 1: can bring play and bring light to it. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's something I've really searched for in coaches. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's something I've been drawn to in the couple of

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Speaker 1: coaches I've had. Taylor, for example, I've seen for many

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Speaker 1: years for my back pain and for life coaching. I've

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Speaker 1: known since I was fifteen, not super close when we

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Speaker 1: were younger, but I've always just been drawn to his energy.

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Speaker 1: He's the smartest man I know when it comes to health, wellness,

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Speaker 1: your mind, psychology or all of that the body. It's

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Speaker 1: also really silly, like he's like this big kid. So

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Speaker 1: even when I'm going through something really hard, we also

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Speaker 1: have this playful banter. Yeah. So when I go for

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Speaker 1: my sessions that I know are going to be deeper

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Speaker 1: and heavy and I need to talk about something, I

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Speaker 1: also know he'll bring the sense of lightness and it

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Speaker 1: helps me move through it a lot quicker. And it's

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Speaker 1: the same with Brad Fennel. He's a relationship coach that

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Speaker 1: we've had. When Steve and I have been in harder

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Speaker 1: moments and we can't see eye to eye on something,

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Speaker 1: He'll make us do this role plays where he's like, okay, Steve,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be ashy. I'll tell them exactly what you're thinking.

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Speaker 1: And he'll like pretend to flicker his hair and he

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Speaker 1: gets in this feminine energy and he role plays and

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Speaker 1: I crack up laughing and he's like, what are you

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Speaker 1: laughing at? And he just breaks our state. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: then we're not in the yucky energy anymore. We having

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Speaker 1: a giggle. It's light, it's playful, it's fun. Then we

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Speaker 1: can get more clarity on what we're actually there for,

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Speaker 1: rather than just being in this gross, like hectic energy.

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Speaker 1: I think when you're going on a healing journey, if

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Speaker 1: you decide to get support and help, which I highly recommend, like,

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Speaker 1: don't do this shit alone. Someone who can't hold you

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Speaker 1: really find someone that can have banter and play and

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Speaker 1: bring light to it and it won't feel so heavy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's been really helpful for my journey, So now I

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Speaker 1: don't dread it. I don't think it's always going to

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Speaker 1: be hard and uncomfortable. My last coach that I had,

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Speaker 1: she was a feminine embodiment coach, and I felt like

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of friendship wounds coming up for me,

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Speaker 1: and I really wanted to tap more back into my

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Speaker 1: feminine energy. And I kind of said to myself, the

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Speaker 1: next three months, it's going to be hard. It's going

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Speaker 1: to be really uncomfortable. But I also knew it was

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Speaker 1: so necessary and I'd come out the other side lighter.

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Speaker 1: So I buckled down, and it was. It was really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: I had to revisit my childhood a lot. I had

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Speaker 1: to revisit my wounds. I had to really acknowledge where

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Speaker 1: I was at with some things. I had to be

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Speaker 1: honest with how much I didn't want to unplug from

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Speaker 1: things that won't serving me, and my worth came up.

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Speaker 1: Why I'm doing that. There was a lot to face,

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Speaker 1: but it still held in a beautiful, safe container and

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Speaker 1: I learned so much through that. So even sometimes I

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Speaker 1: giving yourself a time frame, I said, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: book it with her for three months. That is my

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Speaker 1: time to really focus on this. And you know, there's

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Speaker 1: different ways to do it. But yeah, I think that's

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Speaker 1: a misconception that it always has to be really hectic

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Speaker 1: and really hard. Yeah, it doesn't have to be. Like

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Speaker 1: you're a life coach, you have fun humor, banter, different

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Speaker 1: ways to like bring women to the space where they

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Speaker 1: can be vulnerable. Same with Magsie. Yeah, she's very sexual

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Speaker 1: and playful and like she has her thing that she

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Speaker 1: does and say with Brad, but there's role playing. They

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Speaker 1: all have their different things. Yeah, it's such a cool

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Speaker 1: key of healing.

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Speaker 2: It is that. I think it Like what you said,

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Speaker 2: it depends on who you're with and how much fun

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Speaker 2: they bring to it, because like I can have a

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Speaker 2: client coming like boiling her eyes out, having the worst

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Speaker 2: day ever, and then we leave laughing. Oh, he's like

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Speaker 2: in such a hard day. You know, it is really

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Speaker 2: so important. And what you said about the misconception, I

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Speaker 2: think it's like you don't know what you don't know. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you know, true, you've never experienced it before. It just

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Speaker 2: looks really daunting because people talk about healing from the

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Speaker 2: deepest stuff of like trauma and this and it came

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Speaker 2: from your childhood and everyone's like I don't want to

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Speaker 2: go there.

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Speaker 1: Or even on breath work sessions, you're seeing them on

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Speaker 1: social media and people are screaming and around like it's

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Speaker 1: like if you I've haven't done that before, fuck that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to sit in a room with a

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Speaker 1: bunch of people I don't know and scream and cry

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Speaker 1: my eyes out in front of them in the dark

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Speaker 1: with an eyemask on.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely absolutely not Like I don't even like being vulnerable

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Speaker 2: on a good day.

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Speaker 1: Well, I don't volunteer for that hit, right, But most

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Speaker 1: of those events, there's a series of connection and exercises

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Speaker 1: and things that you do to feel safe. I actually

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Speaker 1: want to do that around those people because they've seen

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Speaker 1: you at your vulnerable moments. They know what you're going through,

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Speaker 1: and they're going through similar stuff. And together you get

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Speaker 1: to be there doing that stuff together and you don't

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Speaker 1: have to do it alone. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: As well, with those spaces, you know that every single

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Speaker 2: person who is there is there for the same things.

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Speaker 1: So true.

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Speaker 2: And also when you walk into those spaces, you find

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Speaker 2: that everyone is quite open.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, they're open to talking about it. Yeah, they're ready.

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Speaker 2: They're going there for a purpose. They're there to go, hey,

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Speaker 2: I have some things that are not so nice in

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Speaker 2: my life that are really limiting me from what I

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Speaker 2: want to do. Can you help me?

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Speaker 1: You know? And to hear.

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Speaker 2: Usually everyone has their own story in their own way,

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Speaker 2: and it looks so different to everyone, but everyone has

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Speaker 2: the common goal of being able to create freedom from

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Speaker 2: that experience.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's so beautiful.

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Speaker 2: It's so beautiful in a normal area of you know,

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Speaker 2: for the most part, in most places, everyone is guarded,

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Speaker 2: they're in their ego, they're trying to impress everybody. But

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Speaker 2: when you go to a place that is intentional, in

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Speaker 2: a space that is created.

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Speaker 1: For that, none of that is there.

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Speaker 2: It's like everyone's egos immediately left at the door. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: there's no ego. Everyone's vulnerable. Everyone's there to connect, everyone's

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Speaker 2: there to heal, and that's a really beautiful thing.

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Speaker 1: That's probably the main takeaway if you listen to this episode.

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Speaker 1: The advice I would give if you are wanting to

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Speaker 1: start on your healing journey is don't do it alone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you can't afford a coach, valid there's so many

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Speaker 1: free like Breathworks on a Sunday down at Tellibudj or

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Speaker 1: beet or in your area, or different groups online that

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Speaker 1: you can connect with, or group coaching calls and master classes.

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Speaker 1: There's so many ways that you can connect and get

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Speaker 1: the support you need. But it makes it so much

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Speaker 1: more lighter. It makes you also not feel so alone

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Speaker 1: or crazy because I know sometimes when I've gone through something,

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Speaker 1: I'm like Amy, the only one that feels like this.

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Speaker 1: I feel crazy and then I have around it and

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Speaker 1: I try and suppress it, and then it just gets

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Speaker 1: heavy and builds up and it's not a nice energy being. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not, so get support, get help, and know that

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Speaker 1: it won't always feel as heavy as what it's made

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Speaker 1: out to be on social media.

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Speaker 2: What's cool about that is sometimes when you're going through

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Speaker 2: things and it's new to you and you're starting to

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Speaker 2: learn and discover new parts of your life that you

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Speaker 2: haven't been aware of before, because you don't yet know

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Speaker 2: how to hold that. Yeah, sometimes it can be overwhelming emotionally, yes,

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Speaker 2: you know where it's like you see something about yourself

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Speaker 2: and automatically you go into shame.

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Speaker 1: Because you're like, oh, like, people aren't going to love

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Speaker 1: me for this.

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Speaker 2: What if they learn this about me and then they

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Speaker 2: abandon me and then they don't want me around, and

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Speaker 2: you know, you.

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Speaker 1: Automatically go into this hyperactive state.

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Speaker 2: And that's I feel sometimes what makes it feel so

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Speaker 2: heavy because we freak out about the things we discover

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Speaker 2: about ourselves instead of loving them yeah, instead of like

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Speaker 2: holding space, loving them, being able to meet them with

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Speaker 2: curiosity and just from a place of like this is

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Speaker 2: data collection, Like I'm learning this about myself so that

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Speaker 2: I can gain control of my life, so that I

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Speaker 2: can then know what to do next. But sometimes when

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Speaker 2: it feels heavy and you feel stuck in the heaviness

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Speaker 2: of personal development because you're shaming yourself because you feel

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Speaker 2: guilty about what you've discovered and you think that everything

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Speaker 2: that you've learned about yourself is wrong, bad or shameful

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Speaker 2: and not good enough.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but that whole loving yourself through that, that's really

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Speaker 1: hard to do. And that's another reason why I feel

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Speaker 1: like having support has been really good. I remember when

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Speaker 1: I first started with Tailor and Steve and I were

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Speaker 1: going through something I can't even remember what it was,

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Speaker 1: but I went into this session blazing blame Steve did

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Speaker 1: this Steve, and I remember him turning all back on me,

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Speaker 1: and I remember feeling so much resistance. I was like,

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Speaker 1: how has this turned on me? I've just told you

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Speaker 1: what he said or done or whatever the situation was.

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Speaker 1: He's like, yes, but you've played your role on this.

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Speaker 1: How about X y Z? And it was so confronting

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Speaker 1: but so healing, and because I felt safe with him

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Speaker 1: and he still loved me, still respected me, still looked

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Speaker 1: at me the same way. That gave me evidence that

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Speaker 1: I could still love me for where I'm at and

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Speaker 1: what I've done and forgive myself. Yea was I think

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Speaker 1: if I was to go through that by myself, I

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Speaker 1: would feel so guilty and so shameful and I would

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Speaker 1: avoid it and continue to blame, or even if I

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Speaker 1: wasn't blaming, I would just shut down because it was

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Speaker 1: so embarrassed with Yeah, the role that I played, whereas

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Speaker 1: I've got to uncover that with someone holding space to

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Speaker 1: me and still loving on me regardless of what's happened.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I think the support thing I keep

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Speaker 1: going back to that. No, it didn't even plans talk

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Speaker 1: about that much as them slow, but it's just really

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Speaker 1: real for me right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is important you don't feel as alone. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's like when you know someone can hold you and

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Speaker 2: what you're going through, what you're experiencing, or like the

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Speaker 2: deep dark thoughts that you feel and think of.

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Speaker 1: Thoughts what I'm meant to do this life alone? But

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Speaker 1: really are not we meant to do it as.

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Speaker 2: A tribe, shared together, shared experience. It's a big thing.

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Speaker 1: And then there's also on the flip side of that,

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Speaker 1: it's like going internal and like sitting with yourself and

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Speaker 1: sitting with the discomfort of those thoughts and seeing where

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Speaker 1: your mind goes. Is it trying to attach itself to

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Speaker 1: an old story? Are you trying to blame? Are you

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Speaker 1: trying to avoid? How do you feel when you sit

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Speaker 1: with all of that discomfort? Can you just sit with it,

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Speaker 1: let it be and breathe through it for the moment.

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Speaker 1: That's the work as well. That's a part of healing,

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Speaker 1: is being able to sit with yourself and sit with discomfort. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like an ocean. Some people think the

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Speaker 1: ocean is dark and scary and the waves are like

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Speaker 1: ah and the sharks out there, and other people think

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Speaker 1: it's just like beautiful mess it's your emotions. Hey up,

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Speaker 1: they comes crashing down, they smooth back out. Some days

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Speaker 1: it's wild and the weather's insane, that's our emotion. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: other times it's cool and calm and cruisy doing what's

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Speaker 1: psychero in imperiod. Ocean that's the same, right, But it's

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Speaker 1: all beautiful and messy. And that is the human experience duality. Duality, right,

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Speaker 1: isn't's so crazy? As well?

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Speaker 2: Like on your healing journey, I think for the most part,

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Speaker 2: before we get to that point of knowing that we

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Speaker 2: need to heal, we have this internal thought process of, oh,

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Speaker 2: I don't need to heal. M maam, I'm good to

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Speaker 2: hear people say that I have Oh I have it.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, honey, read I eat it more than anyone.

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Speaker 1: I had a great childhood. I've got nothing.

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Speaker 2: Nothing traumatic happened, Nothing traumatic happened. Yeah, there's nothing that

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Speaker 2: has bothered me, in impacted me, or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: I actually had to explain this to a girlfriend of

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Speaker 1: ours though, because she said that she had nothing traumatic happened. Like,

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Speaker 1: trauma doesn't mean one big life altering event. Trauma is

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Speaker 1: actually all the little micro moments that have caused stress

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Speaker 1: in your body that you haven't processed and move through.

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Speaker 1: So you imagine from when you're a little baby and

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Speaker 1: those little tiny moments that you were dismissed or not

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Speaker 1: listened to or told to shush or parked at the side,

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Speaker 1: or your parents were going through something. There is thousands

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Speaker 1: of micro moments that have caused trauma in your body

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Speaker 1: and it's stuck energy. That's why breathwork and sematic exercises

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Speaker 1: are so good to be able to release and move

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Speaker 1: through that to get to the core of what's going on.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, and in those moments of breath work, you see

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Speaker 2: how much it impacts people as much the body holds

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Speaker 2: onto it.

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Speaker 1: Why they're screaming and yeah.

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Speaker 2: And it's probably because they felt abandoned by their dad

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Speaker 2: one time, do you know, Like yeah, no, And that's

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Speaker 2: the thing, like what you were saying, like, trauma is

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Speaker 2: not measured by the size of the experience. It's measured

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Speaker 2: by the size of how it impacted you psychologically, right,

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Speaker 2: And that's just something to note. I think the word

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Speaker 2: trauma is a little bit scary for people of like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm not sound, he's not fucked up. I don't need

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Speaker 2: to be fixed. Trauma has such a heavy association with it,

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Speaker 2: But it's not that. It's how things have impacted you

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Speaker 2: and how they change the way that you show up

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Speaker 2: in the world because of an experience. It deserves exploration

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Speaker 2: does deserve it, you know, we deserve to get to

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Speaker 2: know ourselves and how we show up in the world.

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Speaker 2: But more importantly how we impact others and how we

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Speaker 2: are impacted by the things we experience, so he can.

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Speaker 1: Show up better definitely live a better life. Even as

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Speaker 1: a parent now, I know there would be things that

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Speaker 1: I've done and said that will IMPACTAJ and you have

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Speaker 1: created trauma. And yes, there's been no big event for

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Speaker 1: him or I've dropped him when he was a baby,

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Speaker 1: or he's never been hurt physically or anything like that,

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Speaker 1: but there'd be moments for sure. I plan on getting

434
00:17:49,761 --> 00:17:51,641
Speaker 1: him a coach when he enters his teenage years because

435
00:17:51,681 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 1: I want it to be normal for him to have

436
00:17:52,921 --> 00:17:55,120
Speaker 1: outside support as well as us. But I want it

437
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,241
Speaker 1: to be normal for him to talk about his emotions

438
00:17:57,241 --> 00:18:00,001
Speaker 1: and to heal his body and to go to breath

439
00:18:00,001 --> 00:18:01,360
Speaker 1: work and do all that stuff. You start doing it

440
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,041
Speaker 1: from a young age. I want it to be for

441
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,801
Speaker 1: him to meet someone they don't do, for him to

442
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: be like, oh, oh shit, why do you do that?

443
00:18:07,201 --> 00:18:08,721
Speaker 1: You don't do that? Yeah, you don't do that. I've

444
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,880
Speaker 1: always done bird. Yeah, yeah, not the other way around.

445
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,281
Speaker 1: Whereas growing up for me, when I first started to

446
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: see breath work, I was like fuck that, I'm not

447
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:20,880
Speaker 1: doing that, No way, absolutely not. You will never see

448
00:18:20,921 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 1: me caught dead down on the beach having a screaming

449
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:26,360
Speaker 1: session with a bunch of strangers. Yeah, now, love it.

450
00:18:26,561 --> 00:18:27,681
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.

451
00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:30,721
Speaker 2: And you know as well, you're also a good piece

452
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,441
Speaker 2: of evidence because you implement, like you don't just say

453
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,120
Speaker 2: ta taj, do as I say, not as I do.

454
00:18:36,441 --> 00:18:39,281
Speaker 2: You're actually doing the thing. It's for him and Steve.

455
00:18:39,321 --> 00:18:42,160
Speaker 2: It'll be normalized because you both are so integrated in

456
00:18:42,201 --> 00:18:44,761
Speaker 2: that and actively work on yourselves.

457
00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:46,281
Speaker 1: Which is beautiful. Sorry, freaking cool.

458
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,921
Speaker 2: You know what's funny, people, I feel get a little

459
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 2: bit terrified of doing the work.

460
00:18:50,681 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 1: You know what I think. I think it's harder not

461
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,561
Speaker 1: doing the work. Oh my gosh, right, yeah, it's harder

462
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 1: not doing it.

463
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,241
Speaker 2: Definitely, you're sitting in it's so much more because it's

464
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,161
Speaker 2: always there.

465
00:19:00,561 --> 00:19:00,761
Speaker 4: You know.

466
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,161
Speaker 1: It's like, aren't it gross? It's gross. It's like section.

467
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 2: It's like in the back of your mind is the

468
00:19:04,761 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 2: sess little fly and it just stays with you no

469
00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:12,161
Speaker 2: matter what you do. And the heaviness from the things

470
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,321
Speaker 2: that you aren't looking at or addressing feel like they're

471
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,400
Speaker 2: sitting on your shoulders every single day that you walk around.

472
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 2: You know, And I think if I reflect back to

473
00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:24,161
Speaker 2: my life before I did personal development, I was a

474
00:19:24,201 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: shell of a human, a shell of myself.

475
00:19:27,441 --> 00:19:29,120
Speaker 1: I wasn't open, I wasn't.

476
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:33,121
Speaker 2: Playful, I wasn't sexually expressed. I couldn't be a good friend.

477
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,400
Speaker 2: I couldn't hold space for people, couldn't even hold space

478
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 2: for myself. Yeah, and everything just felt heavy. And then

479
00:19:39,441 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 2: when I started to unpack it, what I learned was

480
00:19:42,241 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 2: that the more that I would feel something, the more

481
00:19:44,481 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 2: that I would process it, and then the next day

482
00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 2: I would feel so much lighter. So it's like I

483
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 2: got to take a brick out of that backpack that

484
00:19:50,761 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 2: I was carrying, and I thought that was really impressive

485
00:19:53,721 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 2: because I was like, Wow, I can feel all of

486
00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 2: these emotions in this one hour session of therapy or

487
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 2: like with a coach, and then I can leave this

488
00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:03,721
Speaker 2: session and then I can go on and live my life.

489
00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:07,441
Speaker 1: Feel so much lighter after you do. But it's like isolated.

490
00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:10,041
Speaker 2: People think, oh, if I open up Pandora's box, it's

491
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,001
Speaker 2: gonna be fucked, and I'm going to Yeah, no, I'm

492
00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,001
Speaker 2: never gonna be able to look away from this stuff.

493
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 2: But it's not the truth. It's like you create intentional

494
00:20:17,721 --> 00:20:19,880
Speaker 2: time to heal through it, and then you go on

495
00:20:19,921 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: and live your life, and then the quality of life

496
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,761
Speaker 2: that you get to live after the fact is so

497
00:20:25,241 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 2: much more grant. A client of mine explained it like this.

498
00:20:28,441 --> 00:20:31,561
Speaker 2: She said, working with you was like being color blind

499
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:33,201
Speaker 2: and seeing color for the first time.

500
00:20:33,321 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 1: Wow, that's so cool.

501
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, what a beautiful way to describe

502
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:40,281
Speaker 2: what healing is. Because you do you feel so dull,

503
00:20:40,521 --> 00:20:44,001
Speaker 2: and then just your life is suddenly this beautiful, colorful,

504
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,561
Speaker 2: vibrant experience that you get to have in life. It

505
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,481
Speaker 2: was like you nailed it on the head.

506
00:20:49,561 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 1: That's really freaking cool. I've never heard of it like that.

507
00:20:51,681 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: It was really cool. And it goes back to that

508
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,880
Speaker 1: what you just said, choosing your heart, Like it's hard

509
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,721
Speaker 1: to do the healing, and it's hard to stay remain

510
00:20:57,761 --> 00:21:00,120
Speaker 1: the same, it's hard to be angry at what's happened

511
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 1: in your past, and it's hard to go deep into

512
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: what's happened in the past. But choose your heart, like,

513
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,561
Speaker 1: I'd rather be able to go there, get into it,

514
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,721
Speaker 1: release it, moves through it lighter, and take the lessons

515
00:21:10,721 --> 00:21:12,321
Speaker 1: to be able to help other people. Then just stay

516
00:21:12,321 --> 00:21:14,360
Speaker 1: stuck in there for the rest of my life. Absolutely

517
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,681
Speaker 1: both hard choose your hard and also it's hard.

518
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,880
Speaker 2: To carry as well. Yeah, you know, think about like

519
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 2: when we don't address something. Let's say you had a

520
00:21:22,201 --> 00:21:25,001
Speaker 2: partner cheat on you once and you feel super resentful

521
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: for that, and now all of a sudden, your belief

522
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,041
Speaker 2: around men is really skewed because you're like, well, men

523
00:21:30,041 --> 00:21:33,120
Speaker 2: are cheaters, men are liars, men aren't safe, men don't

524
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 2: protect women, and all the other things that come with that.

525
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 2: You're carrying around that resentment towards men and everyone just

526
00:21:40,481 --> 00:21:42,961
Speaker 2: in everyday life. Literally, think about the friends that you

527
00:21:42,961 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 2: would address as men, You're automatically going to think he's shady,

528
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,001
Speaker 2: automatically going to think that he just wants the next

529
00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:48,481
Speaker 2: best thing.

530
00:21:48,921 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: The way that it impacts how.

531
00:21:50,281 --> 00:21:53,561
Speaker 2: You show up in every life, that hinders the relationships

532
00:21:53,561 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 2: that you create, how you feel, what energy you're putting

533
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 2: out in the world, what your vibrational frequency is like

534
00:21:59,561 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 2: when you're exchanging with people. And it's just one of

535
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 2: those things, like it's so impactful in the best way.

536
00:22:05,961 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 2: The quality of life that you experience is on a

537
00:22:07,721 --> 00:22:10,881
Speaker 2: completely different playing field to what you were previously when

538
00:22:10,921 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 2: you were harboring all of those emotions and that heaviness

539
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:17,761
Speaker 2: and pain that you're carrying around every single day, and

540
00:22:17,801 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 2: it's exhausting, so exhausting, so exhausting.

541
00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:23,441
Speaker 1: A question that we had the other day in our

542
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,041
Speaker 1: Q and A that we put on Instagram for suggested

543
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,041
Speaker 1: topics was someone said, where do I start on my

544
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: healing journey? It's so overwhelming? I was like, yeah, it is.

545
00:22:33,001 --> 00:22:35,961
Speaker 1: There are so many coaches and YouTube clips and tiktoks

546
00:22:35,961 --> 00:22:37,561
Speaker 1: and everyone's saying to do this and that and this

547
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,761
Speaker 1: is the only way to do. It's like, where the

548
00:22:38,801 --> 00:22:41,281
Speaker 1: fuck do I start? Yeah? I wouldn't even know where

549
00:22:41,281 --> 00:22:43,360
Speaker 1: to begin to start, Like I started by doing a

550
00:22:43,441 --> 00:22:46,521
Speaker 1: course that kind of got really addicted after that, just

551
00:22:46,561 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: to just wanting to learn more about myself and understand

552
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,001
Speaker 1: human psychology more and white people do the things they

553
00:22:51,001 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: do and how I can be one percent better. But

554
00:22:53,281 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 1: where would you recommend someone starting if they're like, I know,

555
00:22:55,801 --> 00:22:59,001
Speaker 1: I've got shit here, I'm willing, I'm ready, What do

556
00:22:59,041 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: I do? Where do I go?

557
00:23:00,521 --> 00:23:00,681
Speaker 4: Oh?

558
00:23:00,681 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: That's a good question.

559
00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:03,801
Speaker 2: I think it depends on where you were at, what

560
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 2: you're willing and able to invest into yourself. So to

561
00:23:07,001 --> 00:23:10,321
Speaker 2: beyond money high money, all of those things resources. I

562
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,041
Speaker 2: think you can't go wrong with books.

563
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 1: To be honest. Yeah, it's a good way to start,

564
00:23:14,681 --> 00:23:16,801
Speaker 1: isn't it. It's like reading and taking some information.

565
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 2: I think the first book that I ever read was

566
00:23:18,961 --> 00:23:22,281
Speaker 2: called The Power of Now by Eckhart Toll. I think

567
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: is the book that was a good place for me

568
00:23:24,281 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 2: to start because it helped me bring focus to my

569
00:23:27,561 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 2: awareness and I feel like that's a really important step

570
00:23:30,721 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 2: to being able to do this work. But to be honest,

571
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,841
Speaker 2: for me personally, and if you can hire a coach,

572
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 2: and you have the means to hire a coach, go

573
00:23:37,321 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: and start with somebody, because it doesn't matter who you

574
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,401
Speaker 2: go to, how long you do it for, or what

575
00:23:42,481 --> 00:23:46,241
Speaker 2: you go into them for. You will unravel a world

576
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:50,041
Speaker 2: of things that you've experienced within that timeframe. So it

577
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 2: doesn't matter what you start with. It doesn't matter what

578
00:23:51,761 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 2: you go for. As long as you feel emotionally connected

579
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 2: to the coach or the person or the healer, you

580
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 2: feel safe, you feel like you connect with them, you

581
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: resonate with them, and you feel like they're going to

582
00:24:01,721 --> 00:24:03,360
Speaker 2: be able to support you through the journey. That's all

583
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 2: you need if you can start there. Highly recommend because

584
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 2: you will save so much time going from book to

585
00:24:09,441 --> 00:24:12,121
Speaker 2: book to program to program when you get that personalized

586
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 2: level of port because it's all about you, right, you

587
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: can read someone's book and go, wow, this is important.

588
00:24:18,241 --> 00:24:19,640
Speaker 1: I can apply this to my life.

589
00:24:19,761 --> 00:24:23,001
Speaker 2: But when you're plugged into a coach, they learn everything

590
00:24:23,041 --> 00:24:26,881
Speaker 2: about you, roadblocks everything. Like I worked with a coach

591
00:24:26,961 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 2: for three and a half years because we worked together

592
00:24:29,441 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 2: for so long. What would have taken me and a

593
00:24:31,961 --> 00:24:34,761
Speaker 2: new coach an hour and a half, two hours, three hours,

594
00:24:34,801 --> 00:24:37,561
Speaker 2: five sessions would have taken this coach five minutes to

595
00:24:37,681 --> 00:24:41,721
Speaker 2: unpack with me because she learnt me. She understood my trauma,

596
00:24:41,801 --> 00:24:47,521
Speaker 2: she understood my reactivity, she understood my deepest wounds, everything

597
00:24:47,521 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 2: that I would do, and that for me, going on

598
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,241
Speaker 2: that journey of my own personal development journey and working

599
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:57,201
Speaker 2: with a coach allowed me to really see and learn

600
00:24:57,281 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: everything about myself through the way that that person coached me.

601
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 1: And that's how you learn. Most successful people that I

602
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,761
Speaker 1: know what I deemed be like successful they have a

603
00:25:06,761 --> 00:25:08,921
Speaker 1: coach to day. Even my coach, Taylor, who I put

604
00:25:08,961 --> 00:25:11,001
Speaker 1: on a pedestal and think he's just the bee's knees,

605
00:25:11,241 --> 00:25:13,121
Speaker 1: he's at the same coach for over ten years love

606
00:25:13,201 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: that sees her weekly. She trains at his gym now

607
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,041
Speaker 1: and like she can actually went on my sessions the

608
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: other day. We were talking about liver and sleep and

609
00:25:20,761 --> 00:25:22,521
Speaker 1: my body and everything, and she was about to do

610
00:25:22,561 --> 00:25:24,521
Speaker 1: a class and he's like, oh, Joe, can you come over?

611
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 1: Could you explain this in your own terms? And she

612
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:30,001
Speaker 1: spoke about from her experience. I was wow, that's cool.

613
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,561
Speaker 1: Everyone I know in the year is yeah. I went

614
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,321
Speaker 1: to that. He was like, why would I not continue

615
00:25:34,321 --> 00:25:36,921
Speaker 1: to grow and have support and keep exploring myself in

616
00:25:36,961 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 1: my head? I'm like, you know it all? Yeah, what

617
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 1: more can you learn?

618
00:25:40,201 --> 00:25:40,361
Speaker 3: Yes?

619
00:25:40,561 --> 00:25:42,961
Speaker 1: Always more that you can learn. I think too. Even

620
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 1: if you can't afford a coach or anything, I know

621
00:25:45,761 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 1: you do what you call an audit call, and even

622
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: what you do in those, I'm like wow. And I

623
00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: know some other coaches that call them discovery calls or

624
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,281
Speaker 1: just a call basically to see if you're aligned, see

625
00:25:55,281 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: if you connect. I'll just usese for an example, because

626
00:25:58,041 --> 00:26:00,001
Speaker 1: you can talk about it, but I know that you

627
00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:02,321
Speaker 1: take them through it is at thirty minutes thirty to

628
00:26:02,321 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 1: forty five. Yeah, so you get to know them a

629
00:26:04,721 --> 00:26:07,481
Speaker 1: little bit where they're at. You look at their roadblocks

630
00:26:07,561 --> 00:26:10,201
Speaker 1: and then you give them tools and strategies and tips

631
00:26:10,201 --> 00:26:12,281
Speaker 1: on how to move through that. And that's free. Yeah,

632
00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: that's just free. That's you're just giving your time. Even

633
00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 1: just that, you learn so much about yourself, so then

634
00:26:17,721 --> 00:26:19,521
Speaker 1: you've got a clear path of like, Okay, now I

635
00:26:19,561 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: know what I want to focus on it, I have

636
00:26:21,281 --> 00:26:23,521
Speaker 1: tips and some strategies to get there, and if I

637
00:26:23,521 --> 00:26:25,761
Speaker 1: want to go deeper, I can hire you or even

638
00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:28,321
Speaker 1: I know, like when I was learning about attachment styles,

639
00:26:28,801 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 1: go on YouTube. Yeah, it's all free. You type an

640
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:35,281
Speaker 1: attachment style, Yeah, anxious attachment. There is millions of videos

641
00:26:35,521 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: and plain it. Yeah, in so many different terms and situations.

642
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,961
Speaker 1: You can always find things on YouTube. Stevers, I love

643
00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:44,001
Speaker 1: the way he learns. When he wants to learn about something,

644
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 1: it is all he will do. He will look on

645
00:26:46,921 --> 00:26:49,521
Speaker 1: every YouTube, he will read every book audiobook, and he

646
00:26:49,561 --> 00:26:52,561
Speaker 1: will just immerse himself in something so he can fully

647
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 1: explain and teach it properly. Nice. And I'm like, I

648
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: love that about you. I love really learns like that.

649
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,561
Speaker 1: That's cool. There's endless information through podcasts, through books, through coaches,

650
00:27:00,961 --> 00:27:05,001
Speaker 1: group courses, face to face courses. There's so much help

651
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,721
Speaker 1: out there to help you on your healing journey. You

652
00:27:06,721 --> 00:27:08,321
Speaker 1: don't have to do it alone. But it's just like, yeah,

653
00:27:08,321 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: how much you're ready to invest time, money, and energy

654
00:27:12,041 --> 00:27:15,641
Speaker 1: and effort. Yeah yeah, so freaking cool but so necessary

655
00:27:15,681 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: for everyone. It really is.

656
00:27:16,921 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 2: It's hard to not have access these days. Yeah, Like,

657
00:27:20,281 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 2: we have access to so much stuff.

658
00:27:21,761 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 1: Compared to our parents. They had nothing. They had nothing.

659
00:27:24,001 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 2: None of this stuff was normalized for them.

660
00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 1: No in getting therapy would have meant you were broken.

661
00:27:28,801 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: When my mum sometimes we have conversations around she's like, oh,

662
00:27:31,281 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 1: I wish like I knew this when I was your parent,

663
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: Like I love that she always conflidenced me and how

664
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:36,561
Speaker 1: her parents. She's like, I just love how you did that.

665
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,281
Speaker 1: I did not do that for you. I said, yeah,

666
00:27:38,321 --> 00:27:40,481
Speaker 1: but you didn't also have the resources, like yeah, I've

667
00:27:40,481 --> 00:27:42,721
Speaker 1: had life coaches. If I'm struggling with something parenting, I'll

668
00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:45,401
Speaker 1: listen to it on an app, or I'll go on YouTube,

669
00:27:44,801 --> 00:27:48,161
Speaker 1: or I'll follow a parenting coach on Instagram and binge

670
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,281
Speaker 1: to watch their content until I feel confident and want

671
00:27:50,281 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: I want to implement. You were literally like not free

672
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: bulling it, that's the word. You're just like winging at it.

673
00:27:57,801 --> 00:28:00,120
Speaker 1: You're actually winging it, and you were doing better than

674
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,001
Speaker 1: what your parents did. But we have so much resources

675
00:28:03,041 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: at our fingertips, we're so spoiled with it. There's no

676
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,801
Speaker 1: excuse not be better. Really, I agree. I agree, And

677
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: with the worky and do the work. And you know

678
00:28:12,201 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: what it's like when people say like, oh, that's just

679
00:28:14,241 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 1: how I am. You don't know, stop it, don't come

680
00:28:17,721 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: up in here with that bullshit. I do not like

681
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 1: that bullshit. I love you, but hard conversation, I do

682
00:28:24,241 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: not like it when people say that. I feel like

683
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: I used to be that person. So I get it.

684
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:28,721
Speaker 2: I get what it feels like to be there because

685
00:28:28,721 --> 00:28:30,281
Speaker 2: you're just like, well, this is just who I am,

686
00:28:30,801 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 2: this is what I do, this is how I think,

687
00:28:32,321 --> 00:28:32,961
Speaker 2: this is how I act.

688
00:28:33,001 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 1: If you don't like it, so take it or leave it.

689
00:28:35,001 --> 00:28:38,001
Speaker 1: Either love me or you don't. You know, love me

690
00:28:38,081 --> 00:28:39,281
Speaker 1: or you hate me. I don't care.

691
00:28:39,481 --> 00:28:43,281
Speaker 2: The reality is our biggest desire is belonging.

692
00:28:43,441 --> 00:28:44,761
Speaker 1: And our biggest fear as abandonment.

693
00:28:44,961 --> 00:28:47,001
Speaker 2: Yeah, then you've just got to be willing to do

694
00:28:47,041 --> 00:28:48,921
Speaker 2: the work and take responsibility because if you want to

695
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:51,521
Speaker 2: have a life that is, you know, inclusive of other

696
00:28:51,561 --> 00:28:54,561
Speaker 2: people in community and people that you love, and also

697
00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:58,561
Speaker 2: raising children and having a partner, lifelong partner. It requires

698
00:28:58,601 --> 00:29:02,521
Speaker 2: this level of connection, It requires this level of self exploration,

699
00:29:02,841 --> 00:29:06,761
Speaker 2: It requires self responsibility all of the aspects.

700
00:29:07,041 --> 00:29:10,801
Speaker 1: Why is it so hard to take responsibility every single person,

701
00:29:11,401 --> 00:29:14,641
Speaker 1: including myself, including you, including me, everyone. Yeah, you know,

702
00:29:14,721 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: it's been really hard growing up to say sorry and

703
00:29:18,721 --> 00:29:21,081
Speaker 1: to take responsibility. And I think we're pretty good at

704
00:29:21,081 --> 00:29:23,401
Speaker 1: it now. Yeah, even th oughver the last two years,

705
00:29:23,401 --> 00:29:26,601
Speaker 1: I've improved drastically, But before that I found it so

706
00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:29,401
Speaker 1: damn difficult. Yeah. I didn't want to admit I was wrong,

707
00:29:29,441 --> 00:29:31,601
Speaker 1: because then I'm out of the tribe. Yeah, No one's

708
00:29:31,601 --> 00:29:32,881
Speaker 1: gonna love me if i'd been I'm wrong. Well, they

709
00:29:32,921 --> 00:29:34,921
Speaker 1: want to be friends with me if I admit that. Yeah,

710
00:29:34,961 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: and saying sorry. I just never saw that growing up.

711
00:29:37,241 --> 00:29:38,801
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds like an excuse, but I

712
00:29:38,841 --> 00:29:42,601
Speaker 1: really didn't know how. It just felt so unfamiliar in

713
00:29:42,641 --> 00:29:45,881
Speaker 1: my body. And I also thought, that's admitting fault. Yes,

714
00:29:46,121 --> 00:29:48,801
Speaker 1: so then they're gonna leave me. Yeah, So I would

715
00:29:48,801 --> 00:29:50,681
Speaker 1: find every other reason as to why it's not my

716
00:29:50,761 --> 00:29:55,081
Speaker 1: fault and blame everything else. Absolutely, it doesn't get you anywhere. No,

717
00:29:55,161 --> 00:29:57,081
Speaker 1: it doesn't experience it's not good.

718
00:29:58,041 --> 00:30:01,361
Speaker 3: No, it definitely does a younger version of actually absolutely.

719
00:30:01,441 --> 00:30:04,321
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's the admitting fault part. Yeah, it's the ego.

720
00:30:04,561 --> 00:30:06,521
Speaker 3: If I had at fault, then I am in the wrong.

721
00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:09,161
Speaker 3: Then I have consequences to being.

722
00:30:09,001 --> 00:30:09,441
Speaker 1: In the wrong.

723
00:30:09,561 --> 00:30:09,841
Speaker 3: Yeah.

724
00:30:09,881 --> 00:30:11,601
Speaker 1: And also as well, we just don't like being wrong.

725
00:30:11,841 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: I know, we like being right because our ego is like,

726
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,961
Speaker 1: I must be right. It's so strange when you actually

727
00:30:17,001 --> 00:30:19,121
Speaker 1: pull yourself out and just think of that. Because even

728
00:30:19,121 --> 00:30:21,121
Speaker 1: when Taj sometimes is want a bit that he's done

729
00:30:21,121 --> 00:30:24,801
Speaker 1: something wrong, I'm like, dude, it's fine, Like it's all good.

730
00:30:24,801 --> 00:30:26,721
Speaker 1: You're not in trouble. You've never been grounded in your life,

731
00:30:26,761 --> 00:30:30,641
Speaker 1: Like nothing's gonna happen. Just say shit, mum, I'm sorry,

732
00:30:30,681 --> 00:30:32,281
Speaker 1: I forgot you said that. I won't do it again.

733
00:30:32,921 --> 00:30:34,481
Speaker 1: But it's so hard, so hard.

734
00:30:34,801 --> 00:30:35,001
Speaker 4: Yeah.

735
00:30:35,081 --> 00:30:36,681
Speaker 1: I turned the TV on when I shouldn't have turned

736
00:30:36,681 --> 00:30:38,361
Speaker 1: the TV. The other day. I came o from the

737
00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,001
Speaker 1: gym and there's no TV in the morning, and I

738
00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:41,321
Speaker 1: can see when you drop me off, I can see

739
00:30:41,321 --> 00:30:43,881
Speaker 1: the bloody TV on. Yeah, so what my good morning, babe?

740
00:30:44,041 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: What are the rules? Turns it off? He's like, oh,

741
00:30:45,721 --> 00:30:48,921
Speaker 1: I wasn't watching it. I was like, you were, well,

742
00:30:49,001 --> 00:30:51,681
Speaker 1: you were, you were And I could see the shame

743
00:30:51,721 --> 00:30:53,801
Speaker 1: in him, and I was like, you're not in trouble.

744
00:30:54,001 --> 00:30:55,561
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, this is a boundary, and I need

745
00:30:55,601 --> 00:30:57,761
Speaker 1: you to respect the boundary because we trust each other.

746
00:30:58,081 --> 00:30:59,481
Speaker 1: If I say to do something, you do it behind

747
00:30:59,481 --> 00:31:00,561
Speaker 1: my back, I'm not going to trust you.

748
00:31:00,681 --> 00:31:00,921
Speaker 3: Yeah.

749
00:31:01,041 --> 00:31:03,761
Speaker 1: Trust is a really important thing in all of our relationships.

750
00:31:04,321 --> 00:31:06,361
Speaker 1: And you could just see him like so uncomfortable with

751
00:31:06,401 --> 00:31:08,401
Speaker 1: admitting and saying I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

752
00:31:08,481 --> 00:31:11,361
Speaker 2: You know what what it's that part. It's the feeling

753
00:31:11,441 --> 00:31:14,401
Speaker 2: that comes with being at fault. Yeah, that no one

754
00:31:14,441 --> 00:31:15,281
Speaker 2: can handle.

755
00:31:15,001 --> 00:31:17,841
Speaker 1: No one. It's shameful you you feel embarrassed. Hey, it's

756
00:31:18,121 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: the discomfort. It's discomfort. Yeah. You can see it in

757
00:31:20,721 --> 00:31:22,921
Speaker 1: little kids too. Him Like, oh when I see in him,

758
00:31:22,961 --> 00:31:25,081
Speaker 1: I feel I feel so bad because I don't want

759
00:31:25,121 --> 00:31:27,801
Speaker 1: him feeling like that. Yeah, it's that fine balance of well,

760
00:31:27,841 --> 00:31:29,201
Speaker 1: this is how he has to learn.

761
00:31:29,881 --> 00:31:33,361
Speaker 2: It's almost like teaching them that that feeling of feeling

762
00:31:33,361 --> 00:31:36,841
Speaker 2: like you've disappointed someone Yeah, is not necessarily a bad thing.

763
00:31:37,281 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: It's showing you what to do better. Yes, And I

764
00:31:40,241 --> 00:31:41,681
Speaker 2: think we can reframe.

765
00:31:41,321 --> 00:31:41,601
Speaker 1: It like that.

766
00:31:41,641 --> 00:31:43,761
Speaker 2: And this is so cool, this conversation. You're just saying

767
00:31:43,761 --> 00:31:46,841
Speaker 2: that about Taj. Imagine if we all learned how to

768
00:31:46,921 --> 00:31:49,681
Speaker 2: deal with that feeling of discomfort or feeling like we're

769
00:31:49,681 --> 00:31:52,721
Speaker 2: disappointing someone that we love, but using it as fuel

770
00:31:52,961 --> 00:31:54,641
Speaker 2: to make better decisions, as.

771
00:31:54,601 --> 00:31:56,921
Speaker 1: Opposed to go, I'm so bad and wrong and I

772
00:31:56,961 --> 00:31:59,521
Speaker 1: fucked up. Yeah, you know it's a big part on

773
00:31:59,561 --> 00:32:02,041
Speaker 1: the parents to not shame them. Yeah. I always said,

774
00:32:02,081 --> 00:32:04,121
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not in trouble. I'm not angry at you.

775
00:32:04,161 --> 00:32:06,161
Speaker 1: I'm just saying this is a boundary. There's a rule

776
00:32:06,161 --> 00:32:08,201
Speaker 1: in place for a reason. When you watch the TV,

777
00:32:08,401 --> 00:32:10,241
Speaker 1: you're not productive. You haven't helped out by doing a

778
00:32:10,281 --> 00:32:12,721
Speaker 1: dishrusher job. You're not dressed, you haven't had brecky, the

779
00:32:12,841 --> 00:32:15,001
Speaker 1: things that are more important than you're watching a screen. Yeah,

780
00:32:15,081 --> 00:32:17,361
Speaker 1: get all that done by all means, watch the footy highlight.

781
00:32:17,361 --> 00:32:19,321
Speaker 1: You've got no problem with that. You're gonna just jump

782
00:32:19,361 --> 00:32:21,121
Speaker 1: on there and be a couch potato at six sat

783
00:32:21,161 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: in the morning, not getting into a habit like that.

784
00:32:23,361 --> 00:32:27,001
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, rules for a reason. Absolutely, Yeah. An

785
00:32:27,001 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 3: interesting conversation, it really is. You know what, it's funny.

786
00:32:29,841 --> 00:32:33,041
Speaker 2: I had this conversation with my niece, Rain So, my

787
00:32:33,041 --> 00:32:33,721
Speaker 2: sister's daughter.

788
00:32:33,881 --> 00:32:34,721
Speaker 1: She just turned four.

789
00:32:35,041 --> 00:32:37,681
Speaker 2: You gave me a couple of hideaway lip glosses a

790
00:32:37,681 --> 00:32:40,081
Speaker 2: little while ago, and they went walk about.

791
00:32:41,321 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: It's love them, love the alla loves them too. They

792
00:32:44,321 --> 00:32:45,001
Speaker 1: taste so good.

793
00:32:45,041 --> 00:32:47,561
Speaker 2: Oh, she loved them, baby, she was obsessed and she

794
00:32:47,961 --> 00:32:50,121
Speaker 2: took them. There was one that I was going to

795
00:32:50,161 --> 00:32:52,241
Speaker 2: give to my mom, and then she took that one

796
00:32:52,401 --> 00:32:52,961
Speaker 2: and Mom was.

797
00:32:52,881 --> 00:32:54,681
Speaker 1: Like, oh, where's the lippy? Can I try? I want

798
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: to try, you know.

799
00:32:56,081 --> 00:32:58,001
Speaker 2: And I called Rain in and I was like, Rain,

800
00:32:58,321 --> 00:32:59,281
Speaker 2: did you take the lippy?

801
00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:03,001
Speaker 1: She said no, no, And then like around my mom

802
00:33:03,041 --> 00:33:04,801
Speaker 1: and everyone was like did you take the lippy? Rain?

803
00:33:04,801 --> 00:33:07,121
Speaker 2: Where is it like having kind of you know, getting

804
00:33:07,121 --> 00:33:09,281
Speaker 2: into that energy, And I just pulled her aside. I

805
00:33:09,361 --> 00:33:10,961
Speaker 2: ended up taking her for a drive and I was like, babe,

806
00:33:11,001 --> 00:33:12,601
Speaker 2: did you take the lipy? It's okay if you did.

807
00:33:12,561 --> 00:33:13,641
Speaker 1: I'll get you another one.

808
00:33:13,721 --> 00:33:16,081
Speaker 2: So if you want one, let me know and I'll

809
00:33:16,081 --> 00:33:17,081
Speaker 2: get you one that you want.

810
00:33:17,241 --> 00:33:19,921
Speaker 1: Get you on And then she like yeah. She I

811
00:33:19,961 --> 00:33:20,801
Speaker 1: was like, where is it? Baby?

812
00:33:20,881 --> 00:33:22,081
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm like, can you go get it for me?

813
00:33:22,161 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 2: Can you bring it back?

814
00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:24,601
Speaker 1: And she's like yeah, I shouldn't feel that you were

815
00:33:24,601 --> 00:33:25,601
Speaker 1: shaming her. Yeah.

816
00:33:25,721 --> 00:33:27,881
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just I had that conversation with her,

817
00:33:27,921 --> 00:33:29,721
Speaker 2: and I was like, it's okay, babe, that you did

818
00:33:29,721 --> 00:33:32,521
Speaker 2: take it, but lying isn't going to be the way

819
00:33:32,561 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 2: to get it, do you know what I mean? If

820
00:33:33,441 --> 00:33:35,161
Speaker 2: you want it, you can ask for it. I'm happy

821
00:33:35,161 --> 00:33:36,641
Speaker 2: to give it to you, but you don't have to

822
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:37,441
Speaker 2: light in me for it.

823
00:33:37,521 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: Still, yeah, yeah, or steal. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay that

824
00:33:42,001 --> 00:33:43,841
Speaker 1: you took it. Actually it's not. Yeah you took it, yes,

825
00:33:43,961 --> 00:33:46,601
Speaker 1: but don't go into my bag. Yeah, there's big lessons

826
00:33:46,641 --> 00:33:49,241
Speaker 1: to learn. You say so cool though, it's so cool.

827
00:33:49,241 --> 00:33:50,281
Speaker 1: It's difficult but cool.

828
00:33:51,881 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 2: It just goes to show that we're not exempt from

829
00:33:53,521 --> 00:33:56,441
Speaker 2: that uncomfortable feeling because even as adult, because when everybody

830
00:33:56,841 --> 00:33:58,081
Speaker 2: was like to her, where is it?

831
00:33:58,121 --> 00:34:00,161
Speaker 1: Did you take it? She was like oh no, because

832
00:34:00,161 --> 00:34:01,921
Speaker 1: then if she says yes, I took it, everyone's gonna

833
00:34:01,921 --> 00:34:04,961
Speaker 1: be like, oh right, you shouldn't be doing that. Naughty girl,

834
00:34:05,121 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: like yeah, you know better than that all those comments

835
00:34:07,801 --> 00:34:10,801
Speaker 1: are just so shameful. Have to catch yourself. Is so

836
00:34:10,881 --> 00:34:13,321
Speaker 1: careful what we say to kids because it can really

837
00:34:13,481 --> 00:34:14,121
Speaker 1: impact them.

838
00:34:14,241 --> 00:34:16,241
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could imagine a parent having to be on

839
00:34:16,281 --> 00:34:19,241
Speaker 2: all the time and constantly and that archetype.

840
00:34:19,281 --> 00:34:21,961
Speaker 1: You know, if your nervous system, if you're like disregulated,

841
00:34:22,001 --> 00:34:23,961
Speaker 1: and you definitely can say some things that you're like,

842
00:34:24,041 --> 00:34:25,881
Speaker 1: oh you reflect back, You're like, damn, I wish I

843
00:34:25,921 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: handled that better.

844
00:34:26,721 --> 00:34:28,721
Speaker 2: I could imagine it's hard because you've got to make

845
00:34:28,761 --> 00:34:30,681
Speaker 2: sure that your nervous system is good all the time

846
00:34:30,761 --> 00:34:32,361
Speaker 2: so that you can make sure that you're teaching away

847
00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:33,001
Speaker 2: it's productive.

848
00:34:33,361 --> 00:34:35,841
Speaker 4: Yeah, and most of us it's not good all the time. Yeah,

849
00:34:36,361 --> 00:34:40,041
Speaker 4: we're human, after all, we are humans. May sometimes I

850
00:34:40,041 --> 00:34:42,561
Speaker 4: think too with kids. That's not about being perfect, But

851
00:34:42,601 --> 00:34:44,041
Speaker 4: I think the recovery is really important.

852
00:34:44,161 --> 00:34:47,721
Speaker 1: Recovery. Yeah, so if I say something or react or

853
00:34:47,761 --> 00:34:49,961
Speaker 1: lose my temper or just say it in not so

854
00:34:50,401 --> 00:34:53,881
Speaker 1: kind tone, I'll recover very fast. That's what I've gotten

855
00:34:53,881 --> 00:34:56,001
Speaker 1: really good at. Yeah, like, shit, I did not mean

856
00:34:56,001 --> 00:34:57,881
Speaker 1: to speak to you like that. Yes, I'm still upset

857
00:34:57,881 --> 00:34:59,601
Speaker 1: about X y Z, but I should have taken a

858
00:34:59,601 --> 00:35:02,361
Speaker 1: breath and spoken to you kinder. Yeah, that's on me. Yeah,

859
00:35:02,441 --> 00:35:04,601
Speaker 1: you know, and just own my part and whether he

860
00:35:04,641 --> 00:35:06,761
Speaker 1: wants to own his part or not, we'll work on it.

861
00:35:06,801 --> 00:35:09,361
Speaker 1: But that's being the role model, the example of how

862
00:35:09,361 --> 00:35:11,241
Speaker 1: to do that. And I always try and say sorry

863
00:35:11,241 --> 00:35:13,401
Speaker 1: often because I didn't get shown that, so I want

864
00:35:13,401 --> 00:35:15,281
Speaker 1: to say sorry to him often. So just feels normal

865
00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:16,961
Speaker 1: and easy, Like it doesn't have to be hard to

866
00:35:16,961 --> 00:35:19,241
Speaker 1: say sorry. There's no resistance around there. Like, I don't

867
00:35:19,241 --> 00:35:21,001
Speaker 1: think we've struggled to say sorry to each other. No,

868
00:35:21,001 --> 00:35:22,721
Speaker 1: not at all. All relationships be like that.

869
00:35:22,801 --> 00:35:25,001
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've definitely had moments where we've been like, oh shit,

870
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:27,081
Speaker 2: that was all me. Yeah, like both of us, I'm

871
00:35:27,121 --> 00:35:28,201
Speaker 2: so sorry, that.

872
00:35:28,201 --> 00:35:31,121
Speaker 1: Was all me. I find it so much easier now

873
00:35:31,161 --> 00:35:32,561
Speaker 1: to say sorry to Stee. It was a couple of

874
00:35:32,601 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: years ago. Fuck, No, I was saying sorry dorovin Gilly,

875
00:35:35,761 --> 00:35:37,121
Speaker 1: stovin Giry. So funny.

876
00:35:37,121 --> 00:35:39,481
Speaker 2: See for me, I don't struggle to say sorry. I've

877
00:35:39,481 --> 00:35:41,921
Speaker 2: always been able to say sorry. Yeah, but did I

878
00:35:42,001 --> 00:35:44,801
Speaker 2: take accountability for my actions? No? I think it was

879
00:35:44,841 --> 00:35:46,921
Speaker 2: easy for me to say the things but not actually

880
00:35:47,041 --> 00:35:50,201
Speaker 2: implement change. But because I felt the words were a

881
00:35:50,241 --> 00:35:52,361
Speaker 2: bit empty, the words were empty, Yes, and I felt

882
00:35:52,401 --> 00:35:53,721
Speaker 2: a little bit guilty. So I was like, oh, I

883
00:35:53,721 --> 00:35:55,681
Speaker 2: feel so guilty, I'm so sorry, dadda. But I wouldn't

884
00:35:55,681 --> 00:35:58,201
Speaker 2: actually do anything about it. But then that created a

885
00:35:58,241 --> 00:36:00,361
Speaker 2: pattern for me, so I had to learn words don't

886
00:36:00,401 --> 00:36:02,401
Speaker 2: mean anything, action and behavior does.

887
00:36:02,441 --> 00:36:04,241
Speaker 1: And then people when you say sorry, they'll be like

888
00:36:04,241 --> 00:36:07,841
Speaker 1: oh before, yeah, that's right, it doesn't mean anything. Did

889
00:36:07,841 --> 00:36:09,721
Speaker 1: your parents say sorry to each other growing up? Did

890
00:36:09,761 --> 00:36:11,881
Speaker 1: you have that role model? No, because that's my story

891
00:36:11,881 --> 00:36:14,121
Speaker 1: as I found it hard because I didn't see the stories.

892
00:36:14,841 --> 00:36:17,121
Speaker 2: Yeah, having to take accountability or something I had to

893
00:36:17,201 --> 00:36:18,281
Speaker 2: learn as an adult.

894
00:36:18,481 --> 00:36:20,201
Speaker 1: So why was it so easy for you to say sorry?

895
00:36:20,201 --> 00:36:21,361
Speaker 1: Did you feel like that kind of just got you

896
00:36:21,401 --> 00:36:22,441
Speaker 1: out of the heat. I think so.

897
00:36:22,641 --> 00:36:24,041
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was like if I said sorry, then it

898
00:36:24,081 --> 00:36:26,361
Speaker 2: was all good and smooth dover. Yeah okay, but not

899
00:36:26,401 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: when the behavior continued, and then I would get myself

900
00:36:28,481 --> 00:36:29,001
Speaker 2: into trouble.

901
00:36:29,201 --> 00:36:34,001
Speaker 1: Let's summarize, Yes, healing, it's working through and releasing emotional

902
00:36:34,001 --> 00:36:36,281
Speaker 1: pain and trauma from my child or things that impact

903
00:36:36,321 --> 00:36:38,001
Speaker 1: the way that we show up, the way that we

904
00:36:38,041 --> 00:36:39,961
Speaker 1: do things, the way that we connect, the way that

905
00:36:40,001 --> 00:36:43,881
Speaker 1: we build relationships. It is stop pretending that you're okay.

906
00:36:43,961 --> 00:36:46,281
Speaker 1: Well you're not. It's acknowledging that things are not feeling

907
00:36:46,281 --> 00:36:48,841
Speaker 1: good and that you want to change. It's about getting support,

908
00:36:48,921 --> 00:36:51,481
Speaker 1: the right kind of support, being open to it, leaning

909
00:36:51,481 --> 00:36:53,681
Speaker 1: into the discomfort. Yeah, knowing that it's not going to

910
00:36:53,721 --> 00:36:55,881
Speaker 1: be a smooth ride, but it doesn't always have to

911
00:36:55,921 --> 00:36:56,801
Speaker 1: be dark and heavy.

912
00:36:56,881 --> 00:36:58,641
Speaker 2: Yeah, knowing that you don't have to do the journey

913
00:36:58,641 --> 00:37:02,121
Speaker 2: alone as well. It's actually easier and easier to hold

914
00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:06,001
Speaker 2: share the emotional load so much. Fine and find a

915
00:37:06,041 --> 00:37:09,121
Speaker 2: healer coach book in a freaking self worth audit with me.

916
00:37:09,161 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: They're totally free if you want, literally, you have nothing

917
00:37:11,441 --> 00:37:14,681
Speaker 1: to lose. Yeah, slip into a DMS. Guys. It's about

918
00:37:14,681 --> 00:37:17,321
Speaker 1: building new patterns that feel better and serve you instead

919
00:37:17,321 --> 00:37:19,601
Speaker 1: of just being stuck on your old ones and saying

920
00:37:20,001 --> 00:37:22,001
Speaker 1: that's just who I am. Yeah, that's the way it is.

921
00:37:22,041 --> 00:37:24,041
Speaker 1: Nothing's going to change, doesn't have to be like that.

922
00:37:24,761 --> 00:37:29,041
Speaker 1: It's learning ways to help you let go of old anger, sadness, guilt,

923
00:37:29,121 --> 00:37:31,001
Speaker 1: or shame. There's so many different beautiful ways that you

924
00:37:31,041 --> 00:37:33,001
Speaker 1: can do that, and you'll learn that from coaches and

925
00:37:33,041 --> 00:37:35,921
Speaker 1: going to courses all weekend things. Yeah, whether it's breath

926
00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:39,241
Speaker 1: work or somatic exercises or your only healings and whatever

927
00:37:39,241 --> 00:37:41,401
Speaker 1: it is what you need. Yeah, you want to take

928
00:37:41,401 --> 00:37:42,681
Speaker 1: that emotional backpack off.

929
00:37:42,721 --> 00:37:45,361
Speaker 2: It starts with this, and on the other side of that,

930
00:37:45,761 --> 00:37:48,441
Speaker 2: through all of this and through you actively choosing all

931
00:37:48,481 --> 00:37:50,081
Speaker 2: of this is on the other side of that is.

932
00:37:50,081 --> 00:37:52,161
Speaker 1: Peace piece, emotional piece.

933
00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:56,201
Speaker 2: Freedom, it's play, it's present. Yes, it's being able to

934
00:37:56,241 --> 00:37:58,401
Speaker 2: actually enjoy your day to day life instead of feeling

935
00:37:58,481 --> 00:38:01,201
Speaker 2: like every single day's groundhog Day. And that's the gift

936
00:38:01,241 --> 00:38:04,041
Speaker 2: that you get from actually going on a healing journey.

937
00:38:04,241 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: It means also that you have to feel the hard

938
00:38:06,001 --> 00:38:08,801
Speaker 1: emotions and not avoid them. It's setting boundaries to protect

939
00:38:08,841 --> 00:38:12,721
Speaker 1: your own peace. So giving yourself, forgiving others, giving grace

940
00:38:12,761 --> 00:38:15,121
Speaker 1: to all of us, knowing that we're all figuring this

941
00:38:15,201 --> 00:38:18,721
Speaker 1: out for the first time as well. And yeah, that's

942
00:38:18,761 --> 00:38:20,881
Speaker 1: all I got. Yeah, I think you summed it up

943
00:38:20,881 --> 00:38:24,081
Speaker 1: beautifully in a summary. Yeah, that's what healing is. Yeah.

944
00:38:24,161 --> 00:38:25,761
Speaker 2: If you guys aren't in our Facebook forum, you can

945
00:38:25,841 --> 00:38:28,401
Speaker 2: jump in over it. She Rises community on Facebook.

946
00:38:28,601 --> 00:38:29,481
Speaker 1: Let's start a thread.

947
00:38:29,601 --> 00:38:31,921
Speaker 2: Let us know if you're on a healing journey, if

948
00:38:31,961 --> 00:38:33,961
Speaker 2: you are scared to start one and you want to

949
00:38:34,041 --> 00:38:35,641
Speaker 2: and you don't know where to start. Let us know,

950
00:38:36,081 --> 00:38:37,881
Speaker 2: we'd love to have a conversation with you all about

951
00:38:37,881 --> 00:38:40,721
Speaker 2: where you're at, what you've learned, things that maybe you're

952
00:38:40,721 --> 00:38:42,801
Speaker 2: still scared of looking at, and how we can all

953
00:38:42,841 --> 00:38:44,121
Speaker 2: support each other on that journey.

954
00:38:44,241 --> 00:38:46,001
Speaker 1: Also for someone listening that's like, oh, I want to

955
00:38:46,001 --> 00:38:47,681
Speaker 1: book in a self order, how do they do that

956
00:38:47,761 --> 00:38:48,001
Speaker 1: with you?

957
00:38:48,241 --> 00:38:50,281
Speaker 2: Yeah, so head to my Instagram. It's my full name,

958
00:38:50,321 --> 00:38:52,681
Speaker 2: Tiana Bundala. I can leave it in the description box

959
00:38:53,041 --> 00:38:54,681
Speaker 2: and then go to the link in my bio. There

960
00:38:54,681 --> 00:38:57,241
Speaker 2: will be something there called free self Worth Audit. You

961
00:38:57,321 --> 00:38:59,361
Speaker 2: just fill out a really short form that will give

962
00:38:59,401 --> 00:39:01,161
Speaker 2: me a little bit of an idea of where you're at.

963
00:39:01,401 --> 00:39:04,081
Speaker 2: We will jump on a call and we will unpack

964
00:39:04,081 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: it together and I'll help you discover your top three

965
00:39:07,201 --> 00:39:09,841
Speaker 2: self worth roadblock, so anything that you're struggling with at

966
00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:12,441
Speaker 2: the moment, and I'll help you create a really small

967
00:39:12,481 --> 00:39:15,761
Speaker 2: and really easy to implement planned for each of those

968
00:39:15,881 --> 00:39:18,241
Speaker 2: roadblocks so you can start creating your own momentum.

969
00:39:18,321 --> 00:39:19,721
Speaker 1: That's so cool. Why don't we you to do a

970
00:39:19,801 --> 00:39:21,361
Speaker 1: live coaching call? When do you do that to me?

971
00:39:21,681 --> 00:39:24,001
Speaker 1: I'd love through like a self worth audit off without

972
00:39:24,001 --> 00:39:25,481
Speaker 1: the form and everything. Would you guys like that? Let

973
00:39:25,561 --> 00:39:28,681
Speaker 1: us know'd be cool? An example of what that looks like,

974
00:39:28,761 --> 00:39:30,441
Speaker 1: because it might be a bit daunting for someone to

975
00:39:30,761 --> 00:39:32,121
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I would like to walk in with her,

976
00:39:32,201 --> 00:39:34,401
Speaker 1: but that sounds too scared. What does it look like? Yeah, yeah,

977
00:39:34,601 --> 00:39:37,161
Speaker 1: walk me through exactly how a session would be like that? Okay, done,

978
00:39:37,241 --> 00:39:38,361
Speaker 1: let me do it. I think from you, I learn

979
00:39:38,401 --> 00:39:42,761
Speaker 1: from you all the time. That life coaching the biggest

980
00:39:42,801 --> 00:39:45,921
Speaker 1: life hack. Honestly, thanks for joining us, guys. We'll see

981
00:39:45,921 --> 00:39:47,321
Speaker 1: you next time. Bye bye,