1 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 1: Apodcay Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,321 --> 00:00:14,041 Speaker 1: and I'm Siana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,841 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:26,281 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,841 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:32,321 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Hello everybody, 9 00:00:32,481 --> 00:00:34,321 Speaker 2: Welcome back to She Rises Podcast. 10 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: We've got an exciting episode to day. Before we get 11 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: into it, what's your share of the week. 12 00:00:38,521 --> 00:00:40,681 Speaker 2: My share of the week is something that we've spoken 13 00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:44,481 Speaker 2: about in conversation and it's simply just when you feel something, 14 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,681 Speaker 2: you heal through it. And it's something that has really 15 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 2: helped me on my journey and something that we've spoken 16 00:00:49,521 --> 00:00:53,601 Speaker 2: about in conversation around instead of feeling scared to look 17 00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:55,681 Speaker 2: at the things that maybe have hurt you in the past, 18 00:00:56,121 --> 00:00:59,441 Speaker 2: a wound, something that makes you sad, Instead of thinking, oh, 19 00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:01,481 Speaker 2: why is this coming up again? We shouldn't have to 20 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:04,601 Speaker 2: feel this again. Just remember that every time that you 21 00:01:04,721 --> 00:01:07,761 Speaker 2: feel you heal a little part of that wound that 22 00:01:07,921 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 2: helps you heal through it, overcome it. And actually get 23 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 2: to the other side. So if you can always focus 24 00:01:12,961 --> 00:01:15,881 Speaker 2: on those things that will help you immensely to not 25 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,321 Speaker 2: being so dysregulated when it does come up, and just 26 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,961 Speaker 2: know that it's actually a part of the journey. 27 00:01:20,241 --> 00:01:23,761 Speaker 1: Love. That's beautiful. Mine was a quote I just tried 28 00:01:23,761 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: to find the clip because she explains it really well. 29 00:01:26,761 --> 00:01:31,881 Speaker 1: But what you're not changing, you're choosing. Yeah, it's hard hitting, though. 30 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: It is because sometimes I think we're a victim to 31 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:36,041 Speaker 1: our situations or things that are happening, but like we're 32 00:01:36,081 --> 00:01:37,761 Speaker 1: actually choosing it if we're not changing it. 33 00:01:37,761 --> 00:01:38,401 Speaker 2: It's so true. 34 00:01:38,521 --> 00:01:40,961 Speaker 1: You have so much power to change so much in 35 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,401 Speaker 1: your life, and even if you can't change it right now, 36 00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: you can change the way that you view it or 37 00:01:45,881 --> 00:01:48,801 Speaker 1: the steps you take to change it. Later on, I 38 00:01:48,841 --> 00:01:49,881 Speaker 1: thought it's just so powerful. 39 00:01:49,961 --> 00:01:51,481 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. It's so true. It doesn't matter 40 00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:53,881 Speaker 2: what level you're at or how much personal development you've done. 41 00:01:53,921 --> 00:01:56,921 Speaker 2: It's like every level that's valid. It hits at different 42 00:01:56,961 --> 00:02:00,321 Speaker 2: points because it just is everything that you're choosing. 43 00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:06,001 Speaker 1: Today's episode, though, we're talking about you being a horny 44 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:11,761 Speaker 1: little bit no joking seen the title, but your journey 45 00:02:11,761 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: of celibacy and not have sex for two years. Not 46 00:02:15,441 --> 00:02:18,881 Speaker 1: having sex almost two and a half years. Wow, I'm 47 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:22,361 Speaker 1: so excited to learn and hear about your experience. So 48 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,321 Speaker 1: why how tell me all? 49 00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:29,761 Speaker 2: It was a dry spell Sahara desert. When I was 50 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,361 Speaker 2: growing up, I found myself get really distracted, especially in 51 00:02:33,441 --> 00:02:35,881 Speaker 2: terms of dating. So I would, you know, have all 52 00:02:35,921 --> 00:02:39,121 Speaker 2: these goals and aspirations and want to work through, like 53 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,921 Speaker 2: move towards big goals in my life. But I just 54 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,601 Speaker 2: had this like shiny object syndrome when it came to dating, 55 00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:46,601 Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I don't know if you've 56 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:49,601 Speaker 2: seen that video, it's like, oh, piece of candy. Like 57 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 2: that was me with dating. Like when I was dating somebody, 58 00:02:53,281 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 2: I brought this fulfillment and excitement and newness into my 59 00:02:57,841 --> 00:03:00,081 Speaker 2: life that I maybe felt like I didn't have before 60 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,401 Speaker 2: or I didn't know how to bring into my life 61 00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:04,881 Speaker 2: without it being because of somebody that I was dating. 62 00:03:05,481 --> 00:03:06,961 Speaker 2: You know, it was like everything felt a little bit 63 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,361 Speaker 2: bland and a little bit boring. 64 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,041 Speaker 1: And it is exciting meeting someone boring together. 65 00:03:11,201 --> 00:03:12,521 Speaker 2: And then when you meet somebody, you're like you're going 66 00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:14,441 Speaker 2: off and doing all these adventures and you're doing date 67 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 2: nights and you're spending time together and you're making conscious 68 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,761 Speaker 2: effort to do things that are like adventurous. 69 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: Yes. 70 00:03:20,361 --> 00:03:22,361 Speaker 2: So I went through this period where I was just like, 71 00:03:22,601 --> 00:03:24,521 Speaker 2: you know, maybe a couple of months, I date somebody, 72 00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:26,361 Speaker 2: and then you know, I'd be on the next person 73 00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:28,601 Speaker 2: and i' date somebody for another couple of months. And 74 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:31,121 Speaker 2: I just remember thinking to myself, I'm never going to 75 00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:33,361 Speaker 2: achieve what I want if I keep getting distracted like this, 76 00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:36,801 Speaker 2: because every time I dated somebody new, it's like all 77 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,441 Speaker 2: of my goals just like went out the window. 78 00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:41,001 Speaker 1: They were the focus, they were all where your attention went. 79 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, that person became my everything, that all my focus. 80 00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:45,561 Speaker 2: It was like everything else that was important to me 81 00:03:46,121 --> 00:03:50,041 Speaker 2: was no longer as important to back seat took a backseat. Yeah. 82 00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:51,961 Speaker 2: And then I just decided one day, I was like, 83 00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: you know what, I'm never going to be able to 84 00:03:53,761 --> 00:03:56,241 Speaker 2: heal my relationship with myself until I actually build a 85 00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:58,681 Speaker 2: relationship with myself. And so for me, it was like, 86 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:00,961 Speaker 2: I need to stop doing this. I need to stop 87 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:04,041 Speaker 2: getting distracted. This isn't about anybody else, this is about me, 88 00:04:04,841 --> 00:04:08,121 Speaker 2: And it just became about I want to learn how 89 00:04:08,121 --> 00:04:11,721 Speaker 2: to reconnect with my body. Again you know myself, my needs, 90 00:04:12,041 --> 00:04:15,121 Speaker 2: what I was wanting, my future goals, and being able 91 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:18,001 Speaker 2: to commit to those things and really be able to say, 92 00:04:18,761 --> 00:04:21,681 Speaker 2: I know how to commit to myself. It was really 93 00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 2: hard in the beginnings because it's almost like once you 94 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 2: make that declaration of like I'm doing celibacy, it's like 95 00:04:27,921 --> 00:04:30,361 Speaker 2: the universe puts all these opportunities in front of you 96 00:04:30,361 --> 00:04:32,641 Speaker 2: for like, you know, men who you know are right 97 00:04:32,761 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 2: up your alley, or somebody that you're attracted to, somebody 98 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 2: that you gel with, or someone you have really good 99 00:04:37,521 --> 00:04:39,801 Speaker 2: banter with. In my head, I'm like, oh, but I 100 00:04:39,841 --> 00:04:42,361 Speaker 2: know I said this, but that guy or that man 101 00:04:42,521 --> 00:04:45,761 Speaker 2: or you know. And yeah, it was a really interesting 102 00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:47,841 Speaker 2: thing in the beginning because I was just like so 103 00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:51,081 Speaker 2: horny all the time, you know, and I was like, 104 00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:53,681 Speaker 2: because I missed it, uh huh. But the interesting thing, 105 00:04:53,721 --> 00:04:57,201 Speaker 2: and we had this conversation earlier, is when you don't 106 00:04:57,241 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 2: have it for a while, you actually don't crave it 107 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:00,241 Speaker 2: as much. 108 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard that, But then when you. 109 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,720 Speaker 2: Do start having sex and being more intimate more often, 110 00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:08,321 Speaker 2: you do crave it more often. Yeah, But I never 111 00:05:08,401 --> 00:05:10,201 Speaker 2: also wanted to have like one night stands or anything 112 00:05:10,241 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 2: like that, it's not really like up my alley. So 113 00:05:12,161 --> 00:05:13,961 Speaker 2: it was that I would date someone for a certain 114 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,201 Speaker 2: period of time, be intimate with them, and then if 115 00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 2: it didn't work out, I'd be like, Okay, that's fine. 116 00:05:17,961 --> 00:05:19,921 Speaker 2: Well at least I had the intention of dating them. 117 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:24,241 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh so interesting. So also, can I ask, you've 118 00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:27,601 Speaker 1: done an episode on the sex tape? Did that have 119 00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:30,241 Speaker 1: any influence on you doing this? 120 00:05:30,681 --> 00:05:33,761 Speaker 2: Yes? Because I got to a point where I didn't 121 00:05:33,761 --> 00:05:36,161 Speaker 2: want to have new intimate partners anymore. Yeah, Like I 122 00:05:36,281 --> 00:05:39,561 Speaker 2: just was so terrified as well to some degree that 123 00:05:39,641 --> 00:05:41,721 Speaker 2: I was like, I have to bring this baggage with me. 124 00:05:42,081 --> 00:05:44,481 Speaker 2: People may not accept me for it. What if I 125 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,041 Speaker 2: find somebody that I love and that I want to 126 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,441 Speaker 2: be with forever and then they don't want to be 127 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,681 Speaker 2: with me. And it was just like I was realizing 128 00:05:50,761 --> 00:05:53,521 Speaker 2: that I was opening myself up to new people all 129 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:56,121 Speaker 2: the time that maybe I wasn't that serious about and 130 00:05:56,201 --> 00:05:58,681 Speaker 2: I just felt like I was giving away my energy 131 00:05:58,721 --> 00:06:01,001 Speaker 2: for nothing, you know. And then I just got serious 132 00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:03,521 Speaker 2: with myself and I was like, I just only want 133 00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:06,761 Speaker 2: to invite people into my space and also into my body. 134 00:06:07,361 --> 00:06:10,121 Speaker 2: What's interesting is in the beginning, I was like, oh, yeah, 135 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 2: this feels weird, like I want to bring that excitement in. 136 00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:16,201 Speaker 2: But the more I did it, the more I realized 137 00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:18,721 Speaker 2: how powerful it was. It was like two months went 138 00:06:18,801 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 2: past and then, you know, I got tempted by somebody 139 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,481 Speaker 2: and then I said no. And then I was so 140 00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:24,721 Speaker 2: proud of myself and I was like, oh my God, 141 00:06:24,761 --> 00:06:28,721 Speaker 2: like I don't need somebody else to make my life fulfilled. 142 00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:31,481 Speaker 2: I don't need somebody else to bring adventure into my life. 143 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:34,881 Speaker 2: And then the journey became about reconnecting with my body 144 00:06:34,921 --> 00:06:38,121 Speaker 2: and my pleasure and self pleasure, slowing down, getting to 145 00:06:38,121 --> 00:06:41,641 Speaker 2: know my body again without only feeling pleasure when somebody 146 00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:44,241 Speaker 2: else was touching me so cool, you know, and there 147 00:06:44,281 --> 00:06:46,001 Speaker 2: was like rebuilding that relationship with myself. 148 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:49,281 Speaker 1: It's such an energy exchange. Having sex is an energy exchange. 149 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,801 Speaker 1: Just doing that with whoever, just like actually be with you. 150 00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:55,081 Speaker 2: I think a part of the reason as well is 151 00:06:55,121 --> 00:06:56,921 Speaker 2: like a little bit of that experience. And then the 152 00:06:56,961 --> 00:06:59,561 Speaker 2: more times that I would experience things with different men, 153 00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 2: like I would date or whatever, and then I'd have 154 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,841 Speaker 2: a not so good experience, I'd be like, why did 155 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,841 Speaker 2: I do this to myself again? You know why did 156 00:07:06,921 --> 00:07:09,121 Speaker 2: I let this person in? And I started to get curious, 157 00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:11,241 Speaker 2: and I was like, why am I letting these people 158 00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:14,761 Speaker 2: into my body and into my space and giving them 159 00:07:14,761 --> 00:07:17,961 Speaker 2: everything that I have when I'm having this exchange. And 160 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:20,521 Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I need to adjust the standards 161 00:07:20,521 --> 00:07:22,521 Speaker 2: that I have for myself and who I'm letting into 162 00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:25,081 Speaker 2: my space, because when I think of my body and 163 00:07:25,121 --> 00:07:27,841 Speaker 2: I think of me letting their energy into my body, 164 00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:30,721 Speaker 2: I'm like, that's a lot of fucked up energy, you know. 165 00:07:30,881 --> 00:07:32,881 Speaker 2: And it just became like I need to raise my standards. 166 00:07:33,401 --> 00:07:36,561 Speaker 2: And the more time that went on, as I did it, yes, 167 00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:38,441 Speaker 2: I was tempted along the way, but the more that 168 00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:41,081 Speaker 2: I said no to the external, the more I said 169 00:07:41,121 --> 00:07:44,881 Speaker 2: yes to myself. And I just with every decision to 170 00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:48,441 Speaker 2: say no to other people, I strengthened that bond with myself. 171 00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:51,481 Speaker 2: And because I was like learning how to self pleasure 172 00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:53,841 Speaker 2: again and connect with my body in a deeper way 173 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:57,601 Speaker 2: and like giving myself what I needed, I just felt 174 00:07:57,681 --> 00:08:00,241 Speaker 2: more fulfilled within myself. And then I was like, oh 175 00:08:00,281 --> 00:08:02,761 Speaker 2: my god, I love me. Yeah, I love me like 176 00:08:02,961 --> 00:08:05,761 Speaker 2: anyone else. Dating other people just for excitement or for 177 00:08:05,881 --> 00:08:09,121 Speaker 2: whatever need isn't the answer, it's actually to go within. 178 00:08:09,841 --> 00:08:13,001 Speaker 2: And let's say six months went by the importance of 179 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:16,361 Speaker 2: not letting just anybody in became stronger and stronger, and 180 00:08:16,401 --> 00:08:18,881 Speaker 2: I was just like, absolutely not things that I would 181 00:08:18,921 --> 00:08:21,681 Speaker 2: have allowed six months prior. There's no way in hell 182 00:08:21,721 --> 00:08:22,961 Speaker 2: I would have let that person near me. 183 00:08:23,161 --> 00:08:25,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you are so strong on your boundaries 184 00:08:25,361 --> 00:08:27,241 Speaker 1: and where your energy goes, and it's such as an 185 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:29,721 Speaker 1: inspiring thing, and I think you'd hope every woman can 186 00:08:29,721 --> 00:08:32,161 Speaker 1: get to that point and work on that and man like, 187 00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:35,761 Speaker 1: it's really important to protect your peace and your emotional energy. 188 00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:39,041 Speaker 1: Were there men along the way that you like would 189 00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:41,361 Speaker 1: still see and go on dates and then they would 190 00:08:41,401 --> 00:08:42,801 Speaker 1: try and you would explain. 191 00:08:42,561 --> 00:08:44,361 Speaker 2: That I was choosing intentional celibacy. 192 00:08:44,681 --> 00:08:46,881 Speaker 1: Was there like pressure around it? Like if you were 193 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,401 Speaker 1: dating someone, You're on a date with a man and 194 00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:51,201 Speaker 1: then he tried to be intimate with you or suggest something, 195 00:08:51,361 --> 00:08:53,801 Speaker 1: You're like, oh, well, how did that conversation go? 196 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:56,361 Speaker 2: So that's the thing, Like I was so strictent with 197 00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:58,681 Speaker 2: my celibacy that I wasn't allowed to talk to any 198 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:01,361 Speaker 2: men on social media because I wasn't allowed to date, 199 00:09:01,561 --> 00:09:04,921 Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to be intimate with anybody, entertain anybody 200 00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:07,281 Speaker 2: with anybody like that was how strict I was with 201 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:10,041 Speaker 2: my intentional celibacy because at the time I didn't have 202 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:12,481 Speaker 2: any self trust Like I naturally it can be a 203 00:09:12,521 --> 00:09:14,681 Speaker 2: flit and I can fully own that, right, but when 204 00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:16,721 Speaker 2: I was younger, I didn't have any boundaries around that, 205 00:09:17,081 --> 00:09:19,401 Speaker 2: so it was like I would get myself into trouble, 206 00:09:19,441 --> 00:09:22,521 Speaker 2: into situations where I'd like overly flirt and then get 207 00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:24,921 Speaker 2: myself into a situation. So I was like, this for 208 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:27,641 Speaker 2: me is me honing in that sexual energy and not 209 00:09:27,761 --> 00:09:30,481 Speaker 2: like giving it out so freely. And it was like 210 00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:33,481 Speaker 2: learning to harness that and control that energy for myself, 211 00:09:33,721 --> 00:09:35,441 Speaker 2: be like I don't need to direct it at men 212 00:09:35,961 --> 00:09:38,081 Speaker 2: to have sexual expression, you know. 213 00:09:38,361 --> 00:09:39,201 Speaker 1: That's so cool. 214 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,201 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a really interesting thing. 215 00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:44,801 Speaker 1: So interesting. I couldn't imagine not having sex for Steve 216 00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:48,121 Speaker 1: for more than a month, let alone two years. And 217 00:09:48,161 --> 00:09:50,881 Speaker 1: I think I've always been in relationships, so this is 218 00:09:50,961 --> 00:09:53,561 Speaker 1: just so such a different thing for me to hear. Yeah, 219 00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:54,881 Speaker 1: I don't know how it would go down if I 220 00:09:54,881 --> 00:09:57,641 Speaker 1: said to Steve, I wanted to be celibates go on 221 00:09:57,641 --> 00:10:00,961 Speaker 1: my cluny journey, but I would love to talk more 222 00:10:00,961 --> 00:10:04,401 Speaker 1: if you're open to it about your self pleasure practices 223 00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:07,961 Speaker 1: and how that journey went on. Because I'm thirty six 224 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,201 Speaker 1: years old and I feel like it's only the last 225 00:10:10,761 --> 00:10:14,681 Speaker 1: maybe two years that I've really learned to explore that 226 00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:17,281 Speaker 1: and enjoy that and see how that looks and feels 227 00:10:17,441 --> 00:10:20,161 Speaker 1: and bring different things in for myself. And I have 228 00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:22,401 Speaker 1: a beautiful sex life with Steve, but I also wanted 229 00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:24,641 Speaker 1: to strengthen that relationship with myself, and I wanted to 230 00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:27,681 Speaker 1: get to know my body more, and I wanted to 231 00:10:27,721 --> 00:10:31,161 Speaker 1: have that beautiful intimate time with myself. Yeah, I don't 232 00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:32,921 Speaker 1: even know the reason why. I just felt I felt 233 00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:35,401 Speaker 1: this poor to it. I've really enjoyed it, and it's 234 00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,881 Speaker 1: really nice, and I feel like it's helped me be 235 00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:39,561 Speaker 1: more connected to myself and therefore more connected to Steve. 236 00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:41,321 Speaker 1: I've known my body more, so I can voids and 237 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:45,481 Speaker 1: communicate what I want more in our sexual intimate sex life, 238 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:49,001 Speaker 1: and it's just been really beautiful. And I love myself 239 00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:51,641 Speaker 1: more now and that's been really nice. I'd love to 240 00:10:51,641 --> 00:10:54,561 Speaker 1: hear your journey as to how that started, how that 241 00:10:54,641 --> 00:10:56,001 Speaker 1: is from back then to now. 242 00:10:56,161 --> 00:10:59,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've always known that I've been quite sexually curious, 243 00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:02,721 Speaker 2: like just in terms of pleasure. But then once that 244 00:11:02,841 --> 00:11:05,801 Speaker 2: event happened with the sex tape, I complain letely shut down. 245 00:11:06,161 --> 00:11:08,721 Speaker 2: So after that, I don't think I self pleasured for 246 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:12,721 Speaker 2: like a good three years, Like I was completely shut 247 00:11:12,761 --> 00:11:15,841 Speaker 2: off to my body to pleasure to even if I 248 00:11:15,921 --> 00:11:18,961 Speaker 2: were to date somebody after the fact, like I was numb. 249 00:11:19,281 --> 00:11:21,801 Speaker 2: I couldn't really feel much. I was putting on a show, 250 00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:23,441 Speaker 2: and I was, you know, doing the whole like porn 251 00:11:23,481 --> 00:11:26,761 Speaker 2: presentation of like how a woman should be whilst having sex, 252 00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:29,161 Speaker 2: you know, making noises even though it didn't feel good, 253 00:11:29,161 --> 00:11:31,161 Speaker 2: and just things like that. So it was like I 254 00:11:31,281 --> 00:11:34,521 Speaker 2: was presenting because I was trying to portray that I 255 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:38,121 Speaker 2: still had that when I had lost that, and it 256 00:11:38,161 --> 00:11:40,761 Speaker 2: was a really good experience. So to have to go through, 257 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,601 Speaker 2: you know, through that period of like not connecting with 258 00:11:44,681 --> 00:11:47,441 Speaker 2: my body, I just remember the stories that I would 259 00:11:47,481 --> 00:11:50,361 Speaker 2: tell myself and it was very much like, you aren't 260 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:53,201 Speaker 2: deserving a pleasure. You don't get to have this, This 261 00:11:53,281 --> 00:11:56,961 Speaker 2: isn't sacred anymore. Why would you want this when it's 262 00:11:57,001 --> 00:12:00,161 Speaker 2: something that everyone has seen. How I interpreted the video 263 00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:02,681 Speaker 2: was that when people shamed me and judged me and 264 00:12:02,761 --> 00:12:05,121 Speaker 2: ridiculed me, judge me all the things. I took that 265 00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:08,321 Speaker 2: as I'm judging you for being a sexual. 266 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,601 Speaker 1: Being right, and I can understand why, you know. 267 00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:12,961 Speaker 2: It was like, well, they're slutshaming you, they're sluts shaming me. 268 00:12:13,081 --> 00:12:13,761 Speaker 1: You're doing is wrong. 269 00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:15,641 Speaker 2: What I'm doing is wrong. Yeah, And so then I 270 00:12:15,761 --> 00:12:18,681 Speaker 2: internalized that and I was like, what I'm doing is wrong. 271 00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:19,361 Speaker 1: I need to stop. 272 00:12:19,441 --> 00:12:21,881 Speaker 2: I need to stop. I shouldn't want this. Why should 273 00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:24,561 Speaker 2: I want this? I shouldn't want to explore myself. I 274 00:12:24,601 --> 00:12:27,001 Speaker 2: remember like doing all this research about like de armoring 275 00:12:27,161 --> 00:12:30,921 Speaker 2: and how you can remove like store trauma from like 276 00:12:30,961 --> 00:12:33,041 Speaker 2: the inside of your pussy, like from the walls, from 277 00:12:33,241 --> 00:12:36,401 Speaker 2: experiences that you've had because I was numb and I 278 00:12:36,441 --> 00:12:39,001 Speaker 2: remember like trying to go through that. I highly recommend 279 00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:42,481 Speaker 2: this book. It's called Pussy. It's a pussy Reclamation. It's 280 00:12:42,521 --> 00:12:45,241 Speaker 2: a really really good book. If you're feeling disconnected from 281 00:12:45,401 --> 00:12:47,081 Speaker 2: yourself and your sensuality, and. 282 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:48,921 Speaker 1: Even if you're not, would you still recommend it because 283 00:12:48,961 --> 00:12:49,761 Speaker 1: you learn so much? 284 00:12:50,161 --> 00:12:53,881 Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely, Well, even the word pussy. So for me, 285 00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:55,561 Speaker 2: before I read this book, I would call it a 286 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:58,361 Speaker 2: vagina very medical term, very like, do. 287 00:12:58,321 --> 00:13:00,561 Speaker 1: You know what, I don't really say that word until 288 00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,681 Speaker 1: you came in my life, and now I'm like, pussy, pussy, 289 00:13:02,961 --> 00:13:03,161 Speaker 1: it is. 290 00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:07,041 Speaker 2: It feels so powerful, it is, and it's such powers too. 291 00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:10,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, vagina, it does not sound sexy. But I remember 292 00:13:10,561 --> 00:13:12,241 Speaker 1: the first time you said it. You were in there 293 00:13:12,281 --> 00:13:13,481 Speaker 1: in the gym. Oh my god, I haven't shared this 294 00:13:13,561 --> 00:13:18,441 Speaker 1: with you. We were talking about gluten and you looked 295 00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:20,801 Speaker 1: at me and you're like, obviously you're very attractive, and 296 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:24,761 Speaker 1: you were like, yeah, it really affects my pussy looking 297 00:13:24,761 --> 00:13:26,641 Speaker 1: around the gym, Like does she just say that in 298 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,761 Speaker 1: the gym? Because I don't use that, And now because 299 00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:32,121 Speaker 1: you just say it so freely, it's really nice. It 300 00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:33,841 Speaker 1: does sound nicer than vagina. 301 00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:36,881 Speaker 2: You know you haven't told me yet. Does all the 302 00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:37,441 Speaker 2: things to my gun? 303 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:39,281 Speaker 1: The podcast is bringing it all up. 304 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,401 Speaker 2: Yeah, a funny story, Yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah, No, 305 00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:44,281 Speaker 2: it's true because I used to be like that too. 306 00:13:44,401 --> 00:13:47,841 Speaker 2: I used to say vagina. I felt this dirty connotation 307 00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:51,521 Speaker 2: around having more sexual yeah, and being like naturally, we're 308 00:13:51,521 --> 00:13:53,841 Speaker 2: like we need all these fem fresh fucking items, and 309 00:13:53,921 --> 00:13:55,401 Speaker 2: like when you get a wife and we're gonna clean 310 00:13:55,441 --> 00:13:57,841 Speaker 2: and like don't bleed too much or you know, there's 311 00:13:57,841 --> 00:13:59,681 Speaker 2: just a lot of like, oh my god, I need 312 00:13:59,721 --> 00:14:01,961 Speaker 2: to be cautious and self conscious of this. And when 313 00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:04,001 Speaker 2: I read that book, it allowed me to take back 314 00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:06,321 Speaker 2: the power of saying the word pussy so cool, you know, 315 00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:10,041 Speaker 2: and it just feels empowering. It feels like a beautiful thing. 316 00:14:10,121 --> 00:14:12,681 Speaker 2: It makes me feel grateful to have a body that 317 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:16,121 Speaker 2: can create life and to experience the level of pleasure 318 00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:19,041 Speaker 2: that we can. My first journey, the first start was 319 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:22,761 Speaker 2: dimoring dearmoring. So anyone listening, I recommend you just researching 320 00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:23,561 Speaker 2: it and trying it home. 321 00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:25,321 Speaker 1: Even a nutshell, what is dearmoring? 322 00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:26,961 Speaker 2: Yeah, So basically what you'll do is you get like 323 00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:28,961 Speaker 2: a glass wand or something like that, and you like 324 00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:32,041 Speaker 2: massage the inside of your pussy, like the pussy walls 325 00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:33,721 Speaker 2: where you're feeling a little bit of pressure where it 326 00:14:33,721 --> 00:14:36,401 Speaker 2: feels a little bit hard. And what happens is like 327 00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:39,281 Speaker 2: you actually end up releasing emotion. And I was telling 328 00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:42,201 Speaker 2: actually this actually earlier where I had an experience where 329 00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:44,321 Speaker 2: I did this in the shower and I felt my 330 00:14:44,521 --> 00:14:47,001 Speaker 2: mind immediately want to stop. My mind was like nope, 331 00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,721 Speaker 2: don't want to do this. Don't want to do this anymore. 332 00:14:48,801 --> 00:14:50,001 Speaker 2: I want to stop. I want to get out of 333 00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:52,601 Speaker 2: the shower. And I just kept going and kept pushing 334 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:56,401 Speaker 2: through that resistance, and I just cried and cried, and 335 00:14:56,441 --> 00:14:59,361 Speaker 2: it was like so healing, like something that I had 336 00:14:59,401 --> 00:15:03,041 Speaker 2: never experienced before but got to experience in that moment 337 00:15:03,081 --> 00:15:04,881 Speaker 2: and was like wow, like I actually see how this 338 00:15:05,201 --> 00:15:07,041 Speaker 2: so powerful and like what I'm holding on. 339 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,521 Speaker 1: Too from similar to like a Yoni massage, because that's 340 00:15:09,561 --> 00:15:11,921 Speaker 1: what they do. Have someone else do it for you. 341 00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:14,441 Speaker 1: I could imagine spots where you're storing a trauma. 342 00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,321 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's just like you being able to do 343 00:15:16,361 --> 00:15:17,921 Speaker 2: it at home if you like, maybe you don't feel 344 00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:20,841 Speaker 2: comfortable to do Yes, how beautiful, which we've spoken about 345 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:26,801 Speaker 2: we're considering, yeah, yeah, and then taking it slow with 346 00:15:26,881 --> 00:15:29,961 Speaker 2: myself so like I just used to always use vibrators, 347 00:15:30,601 --> 00:15:35,241 Speaker 2: and I found that that made me desensitized, so desensitized 348 00:15:35,281 --> 00:15:38,441 Speaker 2: to pleasure, to my physical touch, to the physical touch 349 00:15:38,441 --> 00:15:42,481 Speaker 2: of my partner, would take me longer to reach an orgasm. 350 00:15:42,561 --> 00:15:45,161 Speaker 2: So I stopped using those. I literally banned myself from you, 351 00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:47,241 Speaker 2: threw it on my toys like all that sort of stuff, 352 00:15:47,521 --> 00:15:49,881 Speaker 2: and started to just like explore myself with my hands 353 00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:52,281 Speaker 2: and like take a little bit more time, and when 354 00:15:52,321 --> 00:15:54,561 Speaker 2: I wanted to rush, I would stop myself. And then 355 00:15:54,841 --> 00:15:57,201 Speaker 2: I did this online course from like something called like 356 00:15:57,241 --> 00:15:58,441 Speaker 2: tantric Alchemy or something. 357 00:15:58,481 --> 00:15:59,281 Speaker 1: It's really old. 358 00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:02,241 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so cool. She takes you through like 359 00:16:02,281 --> 00:16:06,881 Speaker 2: a clit orgasm, g spot or cervical orgasm or something 360 00:16:06,921 --> 00:16:09,921 Speaker 2: like that. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah, And she takes you 361 00:16:09,961 --> 00:16:11,601 Speaker 2: through different stages and it's like an hour and a 362 00:16:11,601 --> 00:16:14,321 Speaker 2: half process for each of them. Yeah. It's just about 363 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:17,881 Speaker 2: like slowing down, slowing down and like making your self 364 00:16:17,881 --> 00:16:22,641 Speaker 2: pleasure practice slower, more intimate, more gentle, like allowing your 365 00:16:22,721 --> 00:16:25,961 Speaker 2: body energetically to open up. And I still have so 366 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,641 Speaker 2: much work to do in this area because I still 367 00:16:27,641 --> 00:16:30,921 Speaker 2: hold a lot of shame from those experiences. But slowing 368 00:16:30,961 --> 00:16:33,361 Speaker 2: down has been the best thing. And I notice I 369 00:16:33,481 --> 00:16:35,961 Speaker 2: just feel more open to pleasure when I can just 370 00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:39,241 Speaker 2: be slow, be gentle, even just when you're getting out 371 00:16:39,241 --> 00:16:41,401 Speaker 2: of the shower. And I used to start because this 372 00:16:41,481 --> 00:16:42,521 Speaker 2: used to ick me out and be like, oh, I 373 00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:44,641 Speaker 2: don't want to like sit there and you know, self 374 00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:46,361 Speaker 2: pleasure for half an hour, make it a practice. And 375 00:16:46,401 --> 00:16:48,281 Speaker 2: I used to judge it because it used to be like, oh, well, 376 00:16:48,281 --> 00:16:50,921 Speaker 2: like who has the time, But then I just started 377 00:16:50,961 --> 00:16:53,321 Speaker 2: I'd get in the shower, have a shower, get out, 378 00:16:53,361 --> 00:16:55,561 Speaker 2: and I'd just like put oil all over my body 379 00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:58,161 Speaker 2: and just like real slow, just like I'm so grateful 380 00:16:58,441 --> 00:17:00,881 Speaker 2: I step my body and just like you know, in 381 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:03,001 Speaker 2: moments where I felt uncomfortable whatever, I would just like 382 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 2: hold my body or like run my like along my 383 00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 2: arm or my legs like you would get a partner 384 00:17:07,921 --> 00:17:10,841 Speaker 2: to two. Yes, but it's like bringing those practices in 385 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,921 Speaker 2: for yourself and then you genuinely want to learn how 386 00:17:13,921 --> 00:17:15,721 Speaker 2: to like touch your body in a really soft way, 387 00:17:16,441 --> 00:17:18,360 Speaker 2: you know, and it's just so like it ends up 388 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 2: being once you can move through the shame, it's so 389 00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:23,880 Speaker 2: like nice and feminine, it just feels good. You know. 390 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 2: It gets to be about pleasure, yes, and. 391 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,041 Speaker 1: A whole experience. And that's where I feel like I've 392 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,761 Speaker 1: taken that into my sex life with Steve as well 393 00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 1: as like taking it slower and making all experience. And 394 00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 1: I think vibrators are great. They have their time and 395 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,681 Speaker 1: place that we shows conversation this morning, as they do 396 00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:42,801 Speaker 1: desensitize you and it's just like even the orgasm is 397 00:17:42,921 --> 00:17:45,681 Speaker 1: not as good. Yeah, I don't think personally. I think 398 00:17:45,721 --> 00:17:49,640 Speaker 1: when Steve or myself is using hands and taking time 399 00:17:49,721 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 1: and it's like this beautiful massage and it's intentional and 400 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,441 Speaker 1: it's loving and it's nice, you get that build up 401 00:17:55,481 --> 00:17:58,441 Speaker 1: of the orgasm and it's so much more intense and beautiful. Like, yeah, 402 00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 1: the whole experience is compared to just like getting off 403 00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 1: from a vibrator, which takes you literally two minutes. 404 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,521 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it's like you in and out and 405 00:18:05,561 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 2: you're done. Yeah, Like that's all good and well. Like 406 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,401 Speaker 2: when you don't have the time or anything. 407 00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:11,601 Speaker 1: For sure, And I'm a parent, I get at times 408 00:18:11,721 --> 00:18:14,561 Speaker 1: not in our favor, so sometimes you got to do yes. 409 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,601 Speaker 1: But if you can find time to bring this in 410 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 1: more often, yeah, it'll make such a difference. And it 411 00:18:20,321 --> 00:18:22,441 Speaker 1: just makes you so much more connected to yourself. 412 00:18:22,521 --> 00:18:25,561 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I feel like you're very, 413 00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 2: very embodied in like your sexual energy. What has that 414 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,681 Speaker 2: been like for you in terms of like your self 415 00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:32,920 Speaker 2: pleasure journey. I'd love to know. 416 00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:35,920 Speaker 1: I feel like when I talk about sex, there's parts 417 00:18:35,921 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: that I won't share, just purely for Steve's respect. He's 418 00:18:38,321 --> 00:18:41,321 Speaker 1: a very private person. He's like, well, you share a lot, 419 00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:44,561 Speaker 1: but I just speak of my experience. I suppose when 420 00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 1: I first met Steve, I was so close minded and 421 00:18:48,681 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 1: even growing up like I was the good girl. I 422 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: was the girl that didn't sleep around. Like I still 423 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 1: haven't even moved off my hand, Like that was my rule, 424 00:18:55,441 --> 00:18:57,001 Speaker 1: don't ever move off your hand. As to how many 425 00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:59,041 Speaker 1: men I would sleep with, and I've only been with 426 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,081 Speaker 1: three men in my life actually proper sex, and they've 427 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 1: all been beautiful partners, which I kind of hope Tala 428 00:19:05,281 --> 00:19:08,001 Speaker 1: really find someone even to lose opportinity to. We Instep 429 00:19:08,041 --> 00:19:09,880 Speaker 1: were having this conversation the other day that she finds 430 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 1: someone that really respects her body and does put pressure 431 00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaker 1: on her and it's really gentle and slow. Because most 432 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,801 Speaker 1: of my friends they speak to it's like, oh I 433 00:19:16,801 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: lost it at fourteen. It was horrible. It hurt I bled. 434 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,761 Speaker 1: They really like fast and hard, and it just mine 435 00:19:22,801 --> 00:19:25,001 Speaker 1: was the opposite. I was with him for like six 436 00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:26,481 Speaker 1: to eight months. I think it was a long time, 437 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,321 Speaker 1: and he was a bit older than me. As I 438 00:19:28,441 --> 00:19:32,001 Speaker 1: date the older man, there's no pressure. It was beautiful 439 00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:33,921 Speaker 1: and even when I said I was ready and like 440 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,801 Speaker 1: I was ready. I was like, give it to me. 441 00:19:36,481 --> 00:19:38,201 Speaker 1: He was like, are you sure, Let's take this nice 442 00:19:38,201 --> 00:19:40,281 Speaker 1: and slow. I was like, get your clothes off ready, 443 00:19:40,961 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: but he took it so slow and it was so beautiful, 444 00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: but I still just had I don't know if the 445 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,281 Speaker 1: word is shame. I think it's more judgment around doing 446 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,121 Speaker 1: different sexual acts. I thought it was dirty and bad 447 00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: and I never used that word slutty, but I think 448 00:19:56,281 --> 00:19:59,001 Speaker 1: in my head it was. And then I met Steve. 449 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: He's just the most open, carefree, like whoo, like up 450 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,801 Speaker 1: for anything and hearing about just different experiences or different 451 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: conversations that we would have. I was like, whoa, this 452 00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:11,360 Speaker 1: is a lot. But it was really cool because it 453 00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: opened up my eyes and it didn't feel so taboo 454 00:20:13,961 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: or like bad or dirty or wrong. And then I 455 00:20:17,921 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: met Megsie and she is the most free flowing, fluid, 456 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:26,360 Speaker 1: loving human. She doesn't see it as like I love 457 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,761 Speaker 1: this gender. I just love people, I love energy, I 458 00:20:29,801 --> 00:20:32,681 Speaker 1: love humans, I love love And this is the way 459 00:20:32,681 --> 00:20:35,601 Speaker 1: that she describes it. So when I started to talk 460 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: to her more about different experiences and the way she 461 00:20:38,241 --> 00:20:42,481 Speaker 1: views love and pleasure and sexuality and sensuality and experiences, 462 00:20:42,921 --> 00:20:45,120 Speaker 1: it just opened up my whole mind and I was like, 463 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,400 Speaker 1: maybe I am into that, Maybe I am curious what 464 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,441 Speaker 1: would that look like? And I started just to get 465 00:20:51,481 --> 00:20:54,481 Speaker 1: more curious. Yeah, ask more questions. And if she listens 466 00:20:54,481 --> 00:20:56,001 Speaker 1: to this, she would laugh because I'd just be like, 467 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 1: and what happened then? And tell me about this what 468 00:20:58,041 --> 00:21:00,321 Speaker 1: you do in this situation? But can you actually do that? 469 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: Like I was just so curious, and she's always so 470 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:05,561 Speaker 1: safe and open between her and Steve, which is just 471 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: really cool to let go of the old judgments I 472 00:21:08,521 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: had around sexuality and now as a thirty six year 473 00:21:11,721 --> 00:21:14,360 Speaker 1: old woman, I am very in touch with my sexuality, 474 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: my body, and I'm super curious and it excites me 475 00:21:17,921 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 1: to have these conversations Like, yeah, you guys, could hear 476 00:21:20,201 --> 00:21:22,881 Speaker 1: the conversations we have this morning Metiana? Good lord, Well 477 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,680 Speaker 1: it's so exciting is we're in the car and we're like, 478 00:21:26,721 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, this is so fun to talk about, 479 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:32,601 Speaker 1: like the possibilities and like even fantasies, Like it's not 480 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,441 Speaker 1: spoken about enough, but like everyone has fantasies and even 481 00:21:36,481 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: if you never act on them, to be able to 482 00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 1: talk about fantasies with your partner, like Steve and I 483 00:21:41,441 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: talk about then I'm like, even if we never acted 484 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,601 Speaker 1: on this, so fun to talk about it. And it 485 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,241 Speaker 1: does make me so horny and turn and vice versa, 486 00:21:49,281 --> 00:21:52,561 Speaker 1: and it's like you get to bring that playfulness in. Yeah, 487 00:21:52,721 --> 00:21:55,121 Speaker 1: And it's just like I love having a partner that's 488 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,041 Speaker 1: so open minded. 489 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:56,561 Speaker 2: Yeah. 490 00:21:56,561 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 1: It's only the last year or two that I've really 491 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: got more connected to my body instead of experimenting with 492 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 1: self pleasure and how that looks and feels for me. 493 00:22:05,521 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 1: But at the start it was with toys, I was like, 494 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 1: this can't be all it is. 495 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 496 00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:12,041 Speaker 1: I remember listening to like a few different podcasts and 497 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 1: just following some UNI specialists and different people makes it 498 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,521 Speaker 1: had posted and just learning about making it experience and 499 00:22:18,521 --> 00:22:21,281 Speaker 1: getting more in touch with your body. And the practice 500 00:22:21,281 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 1: for me is very slow. Like when you're saying slow, 501 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, I resonate so hard. And also mirror work, yeah, 502 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,360 Speaker 1: which I know people use mirror work just to reconnect 503 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:32,921 Speaker 1: with themselves, but I love to do that sexually. Yeah. 504 00:22:32,961 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: And I love being able to connect with myself like 505 00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,801 Speaker 1: that and love my body. And I know it might 506 00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: sound a bit woo and like would I want to 507 00:22:40,281 --> 00:22:45,761 Speaker 1: look at everything legs open with the mirror. But yeah, 508 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 1: at first it was really uncomfortable and I was judging 509 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 1: myself and I was judging my body and picking bits apart, 510 00:22:51,681 --> 00:22:53,561 Speaker 1: and even the way, you know, after having a baby, 511 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: my skin looked wrinkly like whatever it was. I was 512 00:22:55,921 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 1: just like, oh my gosh, no, no, no, we're not 513 00:22:58,241 --> 00:23:00,201 Speaker 1: doing that. This is not what this is for. This 514 00:23:00,281 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: is a practice of self love and getting to know yourself. 515 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,360 Speaker 1: And now it's like, I really do love myself so 516 00:23:07,481 --> 00:23:09,681 Speaker 1: much and I love each of those practices. I don't 517 00:23:09,761 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 1: do them super often. It's more like if Steve goes away, 518 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,561 Speaker 1: because I prefer to be intimate with him than by myself. 519 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,641 Speaker 1: But I love that there's no shame as I'm talking 520 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,161 Speaker 1: about it like there's no shame. It's actually really enjoyable, 521 00:23:22,201 --> 00:23:24,041 Speaker 1: and I want to talk about it more so that 522 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: more women can start to get more connected to their 523 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,921 Speaker 1: bodies and learn more about their bodies. And you don't 524 00:23:28,921 --> 00:23:30,041 Speaker 1: have to do it in front of a mirror. But 525 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,640 Speaker 1: like you said, it could start with the oil, and 526 00:23:31,681 --> 00:23:34,801 Speaker 1: then it could just start with like just holding your pussy, 527 00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:38,801 Speaker 1: even just massaging it. Don't even have to go internal, 528 00:23:39,281 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: use wands, or anything like that, just like massaging and 529 00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:45,041 Speaker 1: like getting to know it more and what does feel 530 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,640 Speaker 1: good and you can just take it step by step 531 00:23:47,681 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: and all at your own pace. But I think it's 532 00:23:50,201 --> 00:23:52,880 Speaker 1: a beautiful journey everyone should go on. And I did 533 00:23:52,921 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: book in a Yoni massage, remember, Yeah, but it's literally landed. 534 00:23:57,321 --> 00:23:58,801 Speaker 1: It was on a Friday, and I was due for 535 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,160 Speaker 1: my period on a Friday, and as you guys know, 536 00:24:01,281 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 1: I'm on blood thinners, which is like a crime scene 537 00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:06,321 Speaker 1: or on my period, I literally can't even go for 538 00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 1: a walk, like it's just it's so bad. Yeah, So 539 00:24:09,561 --> 00:24:12,201 Speaker 1: I had to cancel and postpones. I'm hoping to get 540 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:14,041 Speaker 1: it done. She's in Tasmania, so next time she comes 541 00:24:14,041 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: to the Gold Coross, I think it's January of February. 542 00:24:17,201 --> 00:24:18,640 Speaker 1: So I hope to get that done. But like I 543 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: can't wait to come on the podcast and share my 544 00:24:20,201 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: experience for that, because that's really edgy for me to 545 00:24:22,521 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 1: have another female go internal and external and like explore that, 546 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: explain that. I don't think I have any store trauma 547 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,481 Speaker 1: with it, but maybe I do from my birth with Targe, 548 00:24:32,481 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: because that was really traumatic. And see what comes up 549 00:24:35,801 --> 00:24:38,360 Speaker 1: and see how freeing that is, to release anything, and 550 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,721 Speaker 1: they've just opened me up more, Like I want to 551 00:24:40,761 --> 00:24:42,880 Speaker 1: be more open for myself and for Steve. 552 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,241 Speaker 2: What a cool experience. I feel like we should book 553 00:24:45,241 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 2: in and then report. 554 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,041 Speaker 1: Back one hundred percent. It'd be such a cool podcast. 555 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,761 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I talk about it openly for. 556 00:24:49,721 --> 00:24:51,521 Speaker 1: Sure, would be so nice. 557 00:24:51,761 --> 00:24:53,681 Speaker 2: I think this conversation I know me too. I think 558 00:24:53,721 --> 00:24:56,001 Speaker 2: I would love to come back to the fantasy's part 559 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:59,561 Speaker 2: because it's something that is so taboo that like you 560 00:24:59,721 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 2: don't really have a lot of people that you can 561 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,761 Speaker 2: talk about with that sort of stuff. It's like, yeah, 562 00:25:02,761 --> 00:25:04,241 Speaker 2: you've got your close friends and you talk. 563 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 1: About to get judged. 564 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,801 Speaker 2: Yeah, you talk about deep stuff, and it's like as 565 00:25:06,801 --> 00:25:08,641 Speaker 2: soon as it hits to the sexual side of things, 566 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 2: it's like what are they into, what do they like? 567 00:25:11,241 --> 00:25:13,360 Speaker 2: What are they not okay with? And then it's like 568 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,121 Speaker 2: you automatically have this resistance to sharing. But I feel 569 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:17,881 Speaker 2: like even with us, like we're just from the get 570 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,321 Speaker 2: go just like so open about curiosity and like things 571 00:25:21,321 --> 00:25:24,201 Speaker 2: that we might want to explore or like scare us, 572 00:25:24,241 --> 00:25:27,161 Speaker 2: but still we're curious. Yeah, that's the conversation we've had 573 00:25:27,281 --> 00:25:29,601 Speaker 2: is like even like if we talk about threesomes or 574 00:25:29,681 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 2: just anything like that, I'm like, as a fantasy, I'm like, 575 00:25:32,481 --> 00:25:36,041 Speaker 2: I'm all for it, Like I would try both, like 576 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,321 Speaker 2: two men or two women. Yeah, but then I'm also 577 00:25:38,521 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 2: like to actually act that out. I'm like, do I 578 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,281 Speaker 2: have the balls to do that? 579 00:25:41,561 --> 00:25:44,241 Speaker 1: I don't know, Like you know, and I was sharing 580 00:25:44,241 --> 00:25:46,321 Speaker 1: with you this morning too, and we've spoken about many times, 581 00:25:46,321 --> 00:25:48,721 Speaker 1: but like even being intimate with a woman, Like I've 582 00:25:48,801 --> 00:25:51,001 Speaker 1: kissed women before. We're talking about in high. 583 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,521 Speaker 2: School, Like, oh my god, me and my girlfriends all 584 00:25:52,561 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 2: the time. 585 00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:56,281 Speaker 1: I am drawn to women, and I'm attracted to women, but. 586 00:25:56,201 --> 00:25:56,961 Speaker 2: They're so beautiful. 587 00:25:57,001 --> 00:26:00,281 Speaker 1: They're so beautiful. They're even more beautiful than men. But 588 00:26:00,321 --> 00:26:04,521 Speaker 1: I've never explored actually being sexual with one. But I'm 589 00:26:04,561 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: definitely curious. But do I actually have the braver to 590 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: do that? Who would that be with? I feel like 591 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,921 Speaker 1: I would need a connection. It's just interesting to talk 592 00:26:13,921 --> 00:26:16,921 Speaker 1: about and explore, so you might not ever, but it's 593 00:26:16,961 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: really important I think to not shame or push it aside. 594 00:26:19,721 --> 00:26:21,801 Speaker 1: If that's coming up and that is a fantasy of 595 00:26:21,801 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: yours or something you're curious on, explore it, like just 596 00:26:24,481 --> 00:26:26,961 Speaker 1: letting it be there, letting it be there without judgment. 597 00:26:26,761 --> 00:26:29,720 Speaker 2: Like what about when my friend sent me that thing around? 598 00:26:29,761 --> 00:26:32,961 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, the Melbourne guy. Yeah, yeah, let's talk 599 00:26:32,961 --> 00:26:38,881 Speaker 1: about the Tantrasentual Massage guy. The description on the website, 600 00:26:38,921 --> 00:26:39,640 Speaker 1: I was like, oh. 601 00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,521 Speaker 2: Like we were, we were reading this this morning. 602 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: The experience he takes you through. So basically, it's this 603 00:26:43,761 --> 00:26:47,761 Speaker 1: guy in Melbourne and it's for women or for couples, 604 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,681 Speaker 1: and he literally on the website like takes you through 605 00:26:50,681 --> 00:26:53,561 Speaker 1: a whole process of what his I don't say ceremony, 606 00:26:53,561 --> 00:26:57,521 Speaker 1: but it's not what histric massage. It is a tantric massage, 607 00:26:57,721 --> 00:27:00,521 Speaker 1: but you're fully naked. He starts with your body and 608 00:27:00,521 --> 00:27:03,721 Speaker 1: then obviously like moves down to your pussy and takes 609 00:27:03,761 --> 00:27:06,400 Speaker 1: you through. You're only mapping your massage and just all 610 00:27:06,441 --> 00:27:09,440 Speaker 1: these other different experiences with your body, and it just 611 00:27:09,481 --> 00:27:12,880 Speaker 1: sounds so amazing. Yeah, and your partner can watch if 612 00:27:13,041 --> 00:27:14,961 Speaker 1: that's what you're into as well, or if you're single 613 00:27:14,961 --> 00:27:18,041 Speaker 1: and wanted to experience that. But it just sounds like 614 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,601 Speaker 1: such a beautiful, spiritual, sexual pleasurable experience. 615 00:27:22,761 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 2: It's so cool as well because he's got like a 616 00:27:24,761 --> 00:27:27,721 Speaker 2: full description of the different stages that he runs you through. 617 00:27:27,761 --> 00:27:30,360 Speaker 2: So obviously it's like a really safe container and it's 618 00:27:30,681 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 2: very spiritual by the looks of it, Like he seems 619 00:27:33,001 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 2: very spiritual. He does workshops with women and things like that, 620 00:27:36,721 --> 00:27:39,400 Speaker 2: so it's all about what he does. But it's even 621 00:27:39,441 --> 00:27:41,321 Speaker 2: like reading, you know, like all us Gellies are into 622 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,521 Speaker 2: like smart books. Yeah, it's like reading his website is 623 00:27:44,561 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 2: like almost like a smart book in itself, Like it's 624 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,481 Speaker 2: just very descriptive but also very soft, and it's very 625 00:27:50,681 --> 00:27:55,121 Speaker 2: like specialized around being gentle, being nurtured, being yeah, being 626 00:27:55,201 --> 00:27:58,680 Speaker 2: like loved on almost, but it's very about caring for 627 00:27:58,761 --> 00:28:01,721 Speaker 2: you and your body, pleasuring you, like getting to that outcome. 628 00:28:01,761 --> 00:28:05,481 Speaker 2: That's not the main focus. It's more about your experience. Yeah, 629 00:28:05,561 --> 00:28:07,440 Speaker 2: the lead up, I feel like that's so important for 630 00:28:07,521 --> 00:28:09,921 Speaker 2: with it. I know it's important for me, like if 631 00:28:09,961 --> 00:28:12,360 Speaker 2: I don't have like a lead up of being turned 632 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:15,001 Speaker 2: on or like four play or having started from the 633 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,801 Speaker 2: beginning of the day, you know, say with like somebody 634 00:28:17,801 --> 00:28:19,920 Speaker 2: that I'm dating and it like go all day, Like 635 00:28:20,041 --> 00:28:21,641 Speaker 2: it takes me a little bit longer to like kind 636 00:28:21,681 --> 00:28:22,680 Speaker 2: of get there at the effort. 637 00:28:22,921 --> 00:28:25,160 Speaker 1: So many women it takes like twenty to forty minutes. 638 00:28:25,241 --> 00:28:27,761 Speaker 2: Yeah, otherwise I'm in my head and I'm not fully present, 639 00:28:27,801 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 2: and then it's not as good of an experience. So 640 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 2: it's like that like mental foreplay of like conversation and communication, safety, 641 00:28:35,241 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 2: little touches, just the whole lead up of all of that. 642 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,521 Speaker 2: I feel like it's such an important part. 643 00:28:39,321 --> 00:28:41,801 Speaker 1: Of my Johnich it really really is. So he takes 644 00:28:41,801 --> 00:28:43,401 Speaker 1: you through like it's an hour and an hour and 645 00:28:43,441 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 1: a half experience before you even get to the end 646 00:28:46,281 --> 00:28:47,161 Speaker 1: of orgasm. 647 00:28:47,281 --> 00:28:47,521 Speaker 2: Yeah. 648 00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:49,921 Speaker 1: So yeah, that was really interesting. Yeah, there's just so 649 00:28:49,961 --> 00:28:52,161 Speaker 1: many cool things you can explore by yourself, with your 650 00:28:52,241 --> 00:28:54,321 Speaker 1: single or in a relationship. I think I would want 651 00:28:54,321 --> 00:28:56,641 Speaker 1: Steve there, Yeah, I think, yeah, I wouldn't want to 652 00:28:56,641 --> 00:28:56,801 Speaker 1: do that. 653 00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:59,081 Speaker 2: It's like feel him, more comfortable with him. 654 00:28:59,241 --> 00:29:02,121 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's an experience with your partner. But if 655 00:29:02,161 --> 00:29:04,601 Speaker 1: I was single, Yeah, also doing that by yourself, that's 656 00:29:04,641 --> 00:29:07,161 Speaker 1: beautiful to give that to yourself. Yeah, what about you? 657 00:29:07,801 --> 00:29:10,521 Speaker 2: I think I would like When I was reading, I 658 00:29:10,561 --> 00:29:15,001 Speaker 2: was like, we should look this. You go first, and 659 00:29:17,161 --> 00:29:18,201 Speaker 2: so how's your experience? 660 00:29:18,881 --> 00:29:20,761 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what. It also made me think, true, 661 00:29:20,841 --> 00:29:23,801 Speaker 1: this is stuff that you could bring into your partnership 662 00:29:23,801 --> 00:29:26,881 Speaker 1: as well, like it makes me think, oh, maybe Steve 663 00:29:26,921 --> 00:29:29,561 Speaker 1: would like a really beautiful experience where I spend an 664 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:33,281 Speaker 1: hour loving on his body and like massaging him first 665 00:29:33,321 --> 00:29:35,161 Speaker 1: and getting him really turned on and taking him through 666 00:29:35,161 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: this experience. Like that's something you can also bring in, 667 00:29:37,801 --> 00:29:39,361 Speaker 1: Like if you're like, fuck, no, I'm not getting some 668 00:29:39,401 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 1: other man in my relationship, Yes, fair enough, you do 669 00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:44,521 Speaker 1: you everyone's different, all in your own time. 670 00:29:46,521 --> 00:29:49,481 Speaker 2: More episodes on the podcast, But how cool. 671 00:29:49,321 --> 00:29:52,041 Speaker 1: To like even just go, oh, I can make my 672 00:29:52,161 --> 00:29:55,761 Speaker 1: experience with my partners longer, more pleasurable, more enjoyable, more 673 00:29:55,841 --> 00:29:58,081 Speaker 1: lead up. Yeah that's so cool. Yeah, maybe think about 674 00:29:58,081 --> 00:30:00,041 Speaker 1: that this morning, be like, I actually want to do 675 00:30:00,041 --> 00:30:00,841 Speaker 1: that more for Steve. 676 00:30:01,521 --> 00:30:02,001 Speaker 2: So cool. 677 00:30:02,121 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. I love these chats me too, and I'll want 678 00:30:05,321 --> 00:30:07,361 Speaker 1: some more chats. Let us know we can bring more 679 00:30:07,441 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: sex talks to the podcast. I love it. 680 00:30:09,281 --> 00:30:12,161 Speaker 2: I love it. Honestly, there's seriously needs more time and 681 00:30:12,161 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 2: space for conversations like this, because when you are holding 682 00:30:15,761 --> 00:30:18,561 Speaker 2: sexual shame, you feel so alone in it because you're like, well, 683 00:30:18,681 --> 00:30:21,481 Speaker 2: this isn't a normalized conversation. You know, no matter where 684 00:30:21,481 --> 00:30:23,041 Speaker 2: you are on the scale, no matter what you like, 685 00:30:23,161 --> 00:30:25,321 Speaker 2: what you don't like, wherever you lie on the scale 686 00:30:25,361 --> 00:30:28,521 Speaker 2: of how much you explore your sexuality, Like that's okay, 687 00:30:28,921 --> 00:30:30,681 Speaker 2: but it's like you don't have to feel like alone 688 00:30:30,681 --> 00:30:33,361 Speaker 2: in it, you know, And it's just pleasure in itself 689 00:30:33,441 --> 00:30:36,081 Speaker 2: is something that we all get to experience, and without 690 00:30:36,081 --> 00:30:38,241 Speaker 2: the shame, it's so much more fun and you can 691 00:30:38,281 --> 00:30:41,681 Speaker 2: bring fun and playfulness to connect with your partner more, 692 00:30:41,761 --> 00:30:44,481 Speaker 2: or to connect with yourself more, or to connect with others, 693 00:30:44,481 --> 00:30:46,921 Speaker 2: like whatever it is you're into. So yeah, I just 694 00:30:46,921 --> 00:30:48,361 Speaker 2: think it's a cool conversation to have. 695 00:30:48,681 --> 00:30:51,521 Speaker 1: It really is. And if you're resistant to this or 696 00:30:51,561 --> 00:30:55,041 Speaker 1: you've listened to this and you're having like a response 697 00:30:55,161 --> 00:30:56,921 Speaker 1: or a judgment around it, being like, oh my god, 698 00:30:56,961 --> 00:30:59,361 Speaker 1: they're slutty or they're dirty, or like whatever's coming up 699 00:30:59,361 --> 00:31:01,801 Speaker 1: for you, Like that's okay. I understand that because I 700 00:31:01,881 --> 00:31:03,801 Speaker 1: used to be like that as well. And it's still 701 00:31:03,881 --> 00:31:06,361 Speaker 1: itchy for me to talk about, like it is edgy, 702 00:31:06,521 --> 00:31:08,921 Speaker 1: but it's more exciting for me now rather than like 703 00:31:09,121 --> 00:31:12,041 Speaker 1: shaming on myself. Just sit with that and see where 704 00:31:12,081 --> 00:31:14,401 Speaker 1: along the lines, who's told you that you're dirty or 705 00:31:14,401 --> 00:31:16,481 Speaker 1: slutty or girls that do this or guys that do that. 706 00:31:16,561 --> 00:31:19,240 Speaker 1: It's wrong. And I actually like start to unpack that, 707 00:31:19,361 --> 00:31:22,001 Speaker 1: because I actually don't even know where mine came from. 708 00:31:22,201 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 1: But I had made a rule book of like what 709 00:31:24,561 --> 00:31:26,681 Speaker 1: was good and what was bad, what would be accepted 710 00:31:26,681 --> 00:31:29,441 Speaker 1: by my future husband. I used to think, why would 711 00:31:29,441 --> 00:31:31,081 Speaker 1: anyone want to marry me if I've had sex with 712 00:31:31,081 --> 00:31:33,281 Speaker 1: twenty other guys. I want to be pure for him 713 00:31:33,281 --> 00:31:34,681 Speaker 1: and I want him to feel special and I want 714 00:31:34,761 --> 00:31:36,921 Speaker 1: him to know that I've waited for him. And there 715 00:31:37,041 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: was so many other guys that I could have but 716 00:31:39,041 --> 00:31:41,881 Speaker 1: I wanted you know, they're just stories and not the truth, 717 00:31:41,921 --> 00:31:43,801 Speaker 1: and like, of course Steve would have still loved me 718 00:31:43,841 --> 00:31:46,281 Speaker 1: if I had had a pass and different experiences. But 719 00:31:46,761 --> 00:31:48,440 Speaker 1: I had to unpack re all that came from and 720 00:31:48,521 --> 00:31:50,681 Speaker 1: why I was thinking that, And I didn't want to 721 00:31:50,681 --> 00:31:53,281 Speaker 1: be judgmental towards myself or to others. I wanted to 722 00:31:53,321 --> 00:31:55,241 Speaker 1: be open minded. So I had to really lean into 723 00:31:55,321 --> 00:31:58,721 Speaker 1: it and get comfortable being uncomfortable by having more conversations 724 00:31:58,761 --> 00:32:01,601 Speaker 1: and asking more questions to Megsie or listening to podcasts 725 00:32:01,681 --> 00:32:04,201 Speaker 1: or YouTube videos and exploring that. So if anything's coming 726 00:32:04,241 --> 00:32:06,321 Speaker 1: up for you and you feel a little bit like, oh, 727 00:32:06,401 --> 00:32:09,041 Speaker 1: I don't know about this, conversation. I get it, but 728 00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: just like sit with it. It doesn't have to be yeah, 729 00:32:12,041 --> 00:32:15,041 Speaker 1: a negative thing or a taboo thing or an uncomfortable thing, 730 00:32:15,121 --> 00:32:16,761 Speaker 1: or it doesn't. It gets to be fun. And also 731 00:32:16,761 --> 00:32:19,921 Speaker 1: ask yourself, like who doesn't want more pleasure? If you 732 00:32:19,921 --> 00:32:21,561 Speaker 1: were going to sit back and say I don't care 733 00:32:21,601 --> 00:32:23,761 Speaker 1: about that, I don't want more pleasure, I think you're 734 00:32:23,801 --> 00:32:26,361 Speaker 1: lying to yourself. To be honest, why would you not 735 00:32:26,401 --> 00:32:29,641 Speaker 1: want more pleasure with your body and your partner and 736 00:32:29,721 --> 00:32:32,921 Speaker 1: with life you get to live once. Let's bring in 737 00:32:32,921 --> 00:32:33,881 Speaker 1: more pleasure, more fun. 738 00:32:33,921 --> 00:32:36,241 Speaker 2: I love it. And just to add to that as well, 739 00:32:36,281 --> 00:32:39,441 Speaker 2: like when it comes to the perspective that you might 740 00:32:39,481 --> 00:32:41,881 Speaker 2: have on this conversation of oh wow, I can't belie 741 00:32:41,881 --> 00:32:44,121 Speaker 2: they're talking about that, or I would never talk about that, 742 00:32:44,321 --> 00:32:47,641 Speaker 2: it's like, yes, I absolutely understand it because I've been 743 00:32:47,641 --> 00:32:49,561 Speaker 2: there and I've done that, you know. But it's like 744 00:32:49,761 --> 00:32:52,281 Speaker 2: this is where you get to clock your own projections 745 00:32:52,321 --> 00:32:54,081 Speaker 2: as well, because a lot of the times it can 746 00:32:54,121 --> 00:32:58,641 Speaker 2: actually stem from our own judgments that we put on ourselves, 747 00:32:58,801 --> 00:33:01,321 Speaker 2: we will put on others. So say, for example, if 748 00:33:01,401 --> 00:33:03,281 Speaker 2: maybe for you this feels really edgy and it's something 749 00:33:03,281 --> 00:33:05,161 Speaker 2: you know you would never speak about the moment that 750 00:33:05,201 --> 00:33:06,881 Speaker 2: you hear us talk about it, You're going to be like, 751 00:33:07,081 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 2: I would never do that because you don't, because you 752 00:33:09,281 --> 00:33:13,401 Speaker 2: don't give yourself permission to actually explore those conversations. And 753 00:33:13,521 --> 00:33:17,641 Speaker 2: that's actually where the work starts is looking at those Wow, 754 00:33:17,681 --> 00:33:20,361 Speaker 2: where are the limitations that I have on myself? Because 755 00:33:20,401 --> 00:33:22,121 Speaker 2: the limitations I have on myself, I'm going to put 756 00:33:22,161 --> 00:33:24,761 Speaker 2: on others too. And it's a really powerful place to 757 00:33:24,841 --> 00:33:25,961 Speaker 2: unpack within. 758 00:33:25,761 --> 00:33:27,801 Speaker 1: Yourself, isn't it. The moment you're judging someone else, you're 759 00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:30,401 Speaker 1: judging yourself. And I could feel that if I judged 760 00:33:30,441 --> 00:33:32,521 Speaker 1: other people for sleeping around, I was just judging myself 761 00:33:32,841 --> 00:33:34,361 Speaker 1: because I had those rule book as to what I 762 00:33:34,401 --> 00:33:36,201 Speaker 1: had made up in my head that was right or wrong. 763 00:33:36,721 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 1: It always a reflection backay ye, all right, guys. If 764 00:33:39,761 --> 00:33:42,681 Speaker 1: there's any other questions, this is what our forum's for. 765 00:33:42,761 --> 00:33:45,521 Speaker 1: We absolutely love our forums just where we can extend 766 00:33:45,521 --> 00:33:48,921 Speaker 1: the conversations. You can ask us questions, you can chat 767 00:33:48,961 --> 00:33:50,601 Speaker 1: to other girls about it, you can give us more 768 00:33:50,641 --> 00:33:52,720 Speaker 1: podcast suggestions like if today it was like edgy for 769 00:33:52,761 --> 00:33:55,401 Speaker 1: you or felt uncomfortable, or you like tell me more 770 00:33:55,801 --> 00:33:57,601 Speaker 1: like let us know what you'd love us to talk about, 771 00:33:57,641 --> 00:33:59,601 Speaker 1: because we're in an open book, as you can hear us 772 00:33:59,641 --> 00:34:03,281 Speaker 1: talk about so pleasure and different things, fantasies. We're open 773 00:34:03,321 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: to it. So pop in the forum, just search she 774 00:34:05,321 --> 00:34:08,361 Speaker 1: rises on Facebook. You love this episode, pop up with 775 00:34:08,361 --> 00:34:10,201 Speaker 1: your socials and tig us. We love seeing that and 776 00:34:10,201 --> 00:34:12,401 Speaker 1: it does really support our podcast as well. Yeah, so 777 00:34:12,521 --> 00:34:14,281 Speaker 1: appreciate that and we'll see you in the next episode. 778 00:34:14,281 --> 00:34:22,761 Speaker 2: See you in the next episode, ladies. Bye bye.