1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,361 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. I need your advice. Are you okay what happened? 2 00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:16,601 Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much. Bring it in. 3 00:00:17,921 --> 00:00:25,521 Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment. Girl, my girl, this is 4 00:00:25,561 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 2: the place for you. 5 00:00:27,081 --> 00:00:30,441 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to another bestI episode. But this 6 00:00:30,481 --> 00:00:34,241 Speaker 1: is quite a big story to read out. So get Comfie, 7 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,801 Speaker 1: get settled in, and we'll give our take on at 8 00:00:36,801 --> 00:00:39,521 Speaker 1: this woman's situation that she's in with a sticky one. 9 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 2: Let's get into it. Take it away to Yana, Take 10 00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:46,881 Speaker 2: it away, Ernie. So I'm a twenty three year old 11 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:49,681 Speaker 2: woman who's an amazing relationship. The first time I met 12 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:51,601 Speaker 2: this guy, I called my best friend and I told 13 00:00:51,641 --> 00:00:53,921 Speaker 2: her that I was going to marry this man. Four 14 00:00:53,961 --> 00:00:56,441 Speaker 2: years later, we both got out of serious relationships and 15 00:00:56,441 --> 00:00:58,321 Speaker 2: we got the chance to properly get to know each other. 16 00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:01,161 Speaker 2: My whole life, I've always been that friend that looks 17 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:04,241 Speaker 2: after everybody else. People lean on me for support, and honestly, 18 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: I feel so low to be that person for everyone else. 19 00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:09,121 Speaker 2: But I have noticed the past few years that this 20 00:01:09,241 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 2: role I have often means that my current friends forget 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 2: how to ask how I am, and it becomes very 22 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,361 Speaker 2: one sided. When I met this man for the first 23 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 2: time in my life. He held me and was there 24 00:01:19,321 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 2: for me in the same way I am there for 25 00:01:20,761 --> 00:01:23,161 Speaker 2: everyone else. The thought of him used to bring me 26 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: to tears because I was so overwhelmed by how right 27 00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:28,441 Speaker 2: it felt with him. Okay, here's what I wanted to share. 28 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 2: The third time we ever slept together. Somehow I got pregnant. 29 00:01:32,521 --> 00:01:34,961 Speaker 2: I took a test, and when I realized my period 30 00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:36,881 Speaker 2: was a few days late, I was so shocked, but 31 00:01:36,961 --> 00:01:39,121 Speaker 2: knew instantly that I couldn't go through with the pregnancy. 32 00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:40,441 Speaker 1: Oh poor darling. 33 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,041 Speaker 2: We were fresh dating and I still had a year 34 00:01:43,121 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 2: left to complete a bachelor's degree. I had worked my 35 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,961 Speaker 2: ass off four It wasn't the smartest move, but I 36 00:01:47,961 --> 00:01:50,121 Speaker 2: booked with an abortion clinic at six weeks after being 37 00:01:50,161 --> 00:01:52,721 Speaker 2: super nervous and sick, and found out that there were 38 00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:53,841 Speaker 2: twins on the scam. 39 00:01:55,761 --> 00:01:56,321 Speaker 1: I took the. 40 00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:58,401 Speaker 2: Pills and went through one of the worst experiences of 41 00:01:58,401 --> 00:02:01,361 Speaker 2: my life, physically vomiting, diarrhea, blood clots the size of 42 00:02:01,401 --> 00:02:03,641 Speaker 2: my hand, and he was right there with me through it, 43 00:02:03,641 --> 00:02:07,121 Speaker 2: and I absolutely have no regrets. Finally, my body repaired 44 00:02:07,121 --> 00:02:10,001 Speaker 2: and I started a normal cycle again. A few months later, 45 00:02:10,001 --> 00:02:12,881 Speaker 2: I did another test and found out I was pregnant again, 46 00:02:13,081 --> 00:02:15,961 Speaker 2: even though I was on the pill this time, I 47 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,881 Speaker 2: had a strong sense that we should go through with it. 48 00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:19,561 Speaker 2: As soon as I took the test, I asked the 49 00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:22,561 Speaker 2: universe for some signs. Some may think this is silly, 50 00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:24,321 Speaker 2: but I feel like it was something I needed. I 51 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,281 Speaker 2: asked to see a set of four numbers and to 52 00:02:26,321 --> 00:02:29,321 Speaker 2: have two butterflies land on each of my hands. A 53 00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:31,121 Speaker 2: few days later, me and my brother, who bought me 54 00:02:31,161 --> 00:02:33,641 Speaker 2: the concert tickets, attended the concert where I looked down 55 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,521 Speaker 2: to see that our seats were the exact numbers I 56 00:02:35,561 --> 00:02:36,641 Speaker 2: had asked to see. 57 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,081 Speaker 1: I was shaking wow. 58 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:41,281 Speaker 2: My partner was initially excited, but as we talked about it, 59 00:02:41,281 --> 00:02:43,761 Speaker 2: the more he expressed he had always wanted a career change, 60 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,401 Speaker 2: which I knew beforehand, and we knew that this wouldn't 61 00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:48,761 Speaker 2: be possible if we had had a baby because of 62 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,681 Speaker 2: the financial stress. We still since both fairly young, and 63 00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:53,881 Speaker 2: I wanted us to be super present when we have kids. 64 00:02:54,481 --> 00:02:56,601 Speaker 2: We had had so many deep conversations which brought us 65 00:02:56,641 --> 00:02:58,881 Speaker 2: super closer together. However, he told me that he had 66 00:02:58,921 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 2: decided that if it was up to him, we would 67 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:04,041 Speaker 2: wait until we had a better position. I honestly was 68 00:03:04,081 --> 00:03:06,761 Speaker 2: devastated and cried for hours. I love and respect him 69 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 2: so much that I could never take away the opportunity 70 00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:10,481 Speaker 2: for him to have a job that he loves and 71 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,881 Speaker 2: a chance to be more mentally prepared. Yet at the 72 00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:14,361 Speaker 2: same time, I feel in my gut that if we 73 00:03:14,401 --> 00:03:16,881 Speaker 2: had this baby, it would be the best decision. It 74 00:03:16,921 --> 00:03:19,041 Speaker 2: was truly heart verse head, and in the end I 75 00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:21,921 Speaker 2: couldn't go against my morals. I strongly think that it's 76 00:03:21,921 --> 00:03:23,641 Speaker 2: the best decision that you can make, and you need 77 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,481 Speaker 2: to both be on the same page from day one. 78 00:03:25,881 --> 00:03:27,761 Speaker 2: Out of love and respect, I booked to get a 79 00:03:27,761 --> 00:03:30,641 Speaker 2: surgical abortion, and it still makes me emotional to this day. 80 00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 2: The night before I was to go in, I was 81 00:03:32,561 --> 00:03:34,241 Speaker 2: sitting at my back door waiting for my dog to 82 00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,721 Speaker 2: do his business, when one beautiful white moth came out 83 00:03:36,721 --> 00:03:39,721 Speaker 2: of nowhere, landing on my right hand. A second later, 84 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,721 Speaker 2: another landed on my left hand. I felt that this 85 00:03:42,841 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 2: was a clear sign to go ahead with the pregnancy, 86 00:03:44,761 --> 00:03:46,641 Speaker 2: but I had already made up my mind and paid 87 00:03:46,641 --> 00:03:48,921 Speaker 2: the money, so I put that aside and went through 88 00:03:48,921 --> 00:03:52,521 Speaker 2: with the surgery. Afterwards, I was told that I had 89 00:03:52,521 --> 00:03:55,721 Speaker 2: an unnatural long fertile window and can get pregnant before 90 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,201 Speaker 2: and during my period, which. 91 00:03:57,001 --> 00:03:57,961 Speaker 1: Is how it had happened. 92 00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:00,601 Speaker 2: Wow, I had an IUD for six months, which really 93 00:04:00,681 --> 00:04:02,801 Speaker 2: caused cysts and gave me so much pain, so I 94 00:04:02,841 --> 00:04:05,521 Speaker 2: recently had it removed. All of this to say that 95 00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:07,641 Speaker 2: on the daily, I regret getting the second abortion, but 96 00:04:07,721 --> 00:04:09,321 Speaker 2: have no one to talk about it with because I 97 00:04:09,361 --> 00:04:11,721 Speaker 2: don't have to make my partner feel any guilt. And 98 00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 2: I'm so scared to tell my friends. When I see 99 00:04:14,201 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 2: other girls that I know having kids now, I feel 100 00:04:16,201 --> 00:04:18,641 Speaker 2: this jealousy and anger, even though I made my own 101 00:04:18,641 --> 00:04:21,641 Speaker 2: decisions because I wish that was me. He is about 102 00:04:21,681 --> 00:04:23,321 Speaker 2: to start his dream job, and I'm so proud of 103 00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 2: us and what our relationship has gone through. I've tried 104 00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 2: every other contraception now and none of them work for me, 105 00:04:28,721 --> 00:04:31,481 Speaker 2: so we are using condoms. However, I am deathly scared 106 00:04:31,481 --> 00:04:33,841 Speaker 2: that I would get pregnant again. I think about being 107 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,241 Speaker 2: a mom every single day. I'm obsessed with kids, and 108 00:04:36,281 --> 00:04:38,681 Speaker 2: I have a savings account specifically for when we start 109 00:04:38,721 --> 00:04:42,681 Speaker 2: our family. I'm just really scared, even irrationally, that somehow 110 00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:44,721 Speaker 2: it will happen again. Even though I want that more 111 00:04:44,761 --> 00:04:47,681 Speaker 2: than anything. I just want my partner to achieve everything 112 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,641 Speaker 2: he wants to do before kids, so that he never 113 00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:51,521 Speaker 2: has to wonder if he would have been happier if 114 00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:54,601 Speaker 2: things had gone differently. Thank you both so much for reading. 115 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 2: I know this is a taboo topic and it's real 116 00:04:56,561 --> 00:04:58,921 Speaker 2: for so many people. Each time I have been to 117 00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:00,841 Speaker 2: the abortion clinic, it's been packed to the brim with 118 00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:03,361 Speaker 2: girls just like me. And I know some people struggle 119 00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:05,361 Speaker 2: to get pregnant and I truly feel for them. So 120 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,681 Speaker 2: however much this is the other side of the coin 121 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:08,921 Speaker 2: that's not swirken about. 122 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,681 Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, so sorry to hear what you've been through. 123 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,241 Speaker 1: She's super self. 124 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:17,801 Speaker 2: Aware, Yeah, super conscious, so conscious. 125 00:05:17,561 --> 00:05:20,961 Speaker 1: Of her decisions of like other people, herself, what's best, 126 00:05:21,161 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: where her heart's at. The regret like all of it. Man, 127 00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:29,121 Speaker 1: she's been through it. I'm so sad that she regrets 128 00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:30,921 Speaker 1: the second one, like I feel like for the first one, 129 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:32,841 Speaker 1: she was really confident that was the right decision. Yeah, 130 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,441 Speaker 1: the second one it was what she wanted, but not 131 00:05:35,521 --> 00:05:37,761 Speaker 1: what he wanted. Oh man, that's really hard, and it 132 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,001 Speaker 1: is really hard. I can't imagine being in that position. 133 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,761 Speaker 1: Like far out I don't even really know what advice 134 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: I would give. Just good on you for being so 135 00:05:45,601 --> 00:05:47,601 Speaker 1: honest with yourself and allowing yourself to feel all and 136 00:05:47,641 --> 00:05:50,161 Speaker 1: I'm just so sorry you've had to make those decisions. 137 00:05:50,521 --> 00:05:52,321 Speaker 1: I know it's not only the right thing to say, 138 00:05:52,721 --> 00:05:54,961 Speaker 1: it's like just trusting in the timing. Yeah, that when 139 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,121 Speaker 1: you do have your baby and you're holding that baby 140 00:05:57,161 --> 00:05:59,721 Speaker 1: in your arms, you like all that happened because this 141 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,601 Speaker 1: was exactly who was meant for us. Yeah, I really 142 00:06:02,641 --> 00:06:04,121 Speaker 1: when I was trying to fall pregnant with Tiler and 143 00:06:04,201 --> 00:06:06,361 Speaker 1: I was getting so upset every single month, when on 144 00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:09,321 Speaker 1: like eleven months, so frustrated and so upset, I wish 145 00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:12,121 Speaker 1: someone had said to me, like, when you get your baby, 146 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,361 Speaker 1: you'll be like, oh, thank goodness it took that long 147 00:06:14,361 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: because it would never have been her. And now I 148 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,081 Speaker 1: look back, I'm like I would have waited three years 149 00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:19,841 Speaker 1: for her to know it was going to be her, 150 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:22,481 Speaker 1: Like I would have waited an eternity. It was worth 151 00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:24,321 Speaker 1: the way. That's so beautiful. But I also don't know 152 00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:26,361 Speaker 1: if that's the right thing to say. So apologies if 153 00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,841 Speaker 1: that's you know, coming across not wrong, but. 154 00:06:29,161 --> 00:06:31,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just your perspective, baby, Yeah, I know, and 155 00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 2: I think, like these things are so hard, like regardless, 156 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 2: like I'm sorry that you had to go through not one, 157 00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,481 Speaker 2: but two abortions and like to have found out that 158 00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 2: there were twins on the scand I know that would 159 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 2: have added a layer already on top of what you 160 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,361 Speaker 2: were holding emotionally. And it is really hard when you 161 00:06:46,401 --> 00:06:48,201 Speaker 2: go through it and you don't have anybody to talk 162 00:06:48,201 --> 00:06:49,681 Speaker 2: about it with, or you feel like there's going to 163 00:06:49,721 --> 00:06:52,081 Speaker 2: be judgment or you're scared of what people are going 164 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,921 Speaker 2: to say, or you know, even their opinions of abortions. 165 00:06:54,961 --> 00:06:56,961 Speaker 2: You know, not a lot of people have the same perspective, 166 00:06:57,281 --> 00:06:58,681 Speaker 2: and it could be really hard to go through that 167 00:06:58,761 --> 00:07:01,401 Speaker 2: emotionally and then have to make the right decision for you. 168 00:07:01,481 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: But it sounds like you were super clear about it, 169 00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:06,361 Speaker 2: and it doesn't mean that it wasn't hard, just because 170 00:07:06,361 --> 00:07:07,081 Speaker 2: it was the right thing. 171 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:08,561 Speaker 1: And then the second. 172 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,081 Speaker 2: Time, you know, what a beautiful opportunity now for you 173 00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:14,321 Speaker 2: to trust your intuition more, yes, you know, and being 174 00:07:14,361 --> 00:07:16,241 Speaker 2: like wow, like when you see those signs and things 175 00:07:16,281 --> 00:07:18,881 Speaker 2: like that, like you can listen to yourself. But also 176 00:07:18,921 --> 00:07:21,761 Speaker 2: with the decision you made, I truly believe in moments 177 00:07:21,801 --> 00:07:23,841 Speaker 2: like this when even though we don't get the thing 178 00:07:23,841 --> 00:07:27,441 Speaker 2: that we want, it's like divine redirection, you know, And 179 00:07:27,521 --> 00:07:29,961 Speaker 2: not saying that this path isn't meant for you, because 180 00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:31,721 Speaker 2: it sounds like you want it and it sounds like 181 00:07:31,761 --> 00:07:34,201 Speaker 2: it's coming for you. But in the time that is 182 00:07:34,241 --> 00:07:36,841 Speaker 2: going to be right for you and your partner, because 183 00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:38,561 Speaker 2: you do want to be both on the same page, 184 00:07:38,601 --> 00:07:41,321 Speaker 2: and you know in terms of like your partner and 185 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,961 Speaker 2: I can see and hear that you're so considerate towards 186 00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:46,801 Speaker 2: what he wants. But also you guys are a team. 187 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:47,801 Speaker 1: You're doing this together. 188 00:07:47,881 --> 00:07:51,041 Speaker 2: It's about compromise, yeah, And also knowing that you're never 189 00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:52,881 Speaker 2: fully going to be ready. I mean, I don't know. 190 00:07:52,921 --> 00:07:54,201 Speaker 1: I mean I've never been a parent, but. 191 00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:56,801 Speaker 2: That's what I get told, is that you're never fully 192 00:07:56,841 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 2: going to be ready. You just know in your body 193 00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:01,481 Speaker 2: whether it's right for you or not. And so just 194 00:08:01,561 --> 00:08:04,041 Speaker 2: trust that, like even though you wanted it so badly 195 00:08:04,161 --> 00:08:06,801 Speaker 2: and you felt like you against your intuition on this one, 196 00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:10,921 Speaker 2: that for whatever reason, something was doing right by you 197 00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:12,161 Speaker 2: behind closed doors. 198 00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:14,961 Speaker 1: And also, yeah, you have been so considerate of your 199 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,201 Speaker 1: partner and his dream job and now he's landed that. 200 00:08:17,481 --> 00:08:19,881 Speaker 1: So I think if it was to happen third time round, 201 00:08:19,921 --> 00:08:22,201 Speaker 1: you feel pregnant, like you can have it all. He 202 00:08:22,281 --> 00:08:24,401 Speaker 1: can still have his dream career and work hard and 203 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:28,001 Speaker 1: hustle and sacrifice, just like you will sacrifice and hustle 204 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,281 Speaker 1: in your own way with becoming a mum. Yeah, And 205 00:08:30,321 --> 00:08:32,601 Speaker 1: there's different ways to do things, and it may not 206 00:08:32,641 --> 00:08:34,601 Speaker 1: be how you plan. Doesn't mean it can't be beautiful, 207 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,361 Speaker 1: doesn't mean it can't be right, doesn't mean it can't 208 00:08:36,361 --> 00:08:39,641 Speaker 1: be what you dreamt of. It'll just look and feel different. 209 00:08:39,841 --> 00:08:41,761 Speaker 1: You can plan all you like in your whole life, 210 00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:44,441 Speaker 1: but things never go to plan. Yeah, we all. Ne'ss 211 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,801 Speaker 1: so true. The one thing that will guarantee is change. Yes, 212 00:08:46,881 --> 00:08:48,481 Speaker 1: you can plan till the cows come home, but we 213 00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:50,361 Speaker 1: promise you there's going to be bumps in that road 214 00:08:50,401 --> 00:08:52,521 Speaker 1: that do redirect you. And you can always look back 215 00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:54,921 Speaker 1: in hind somebody like, Ah, that's why that happened. We 216 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,001 Speaker 1: needed to go through that to strengthen our foundation. We 217 00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:58,721 Speaker 1: needed to go through that because this baby was meant 218 00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:00,561 Speaker 1: for us. Yeah, we needed to go through that because 219 00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:04,561 Speaker 1: we just weren't ready, you know, for whatever reason. But yeah, 220 00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:07,441 Speaker 1: yourself awareness is so amazing. It's amazing. 221 00:09:07,841 --> 00:09:10,001 Speaker 2: Yeah, and what a beautiful time now for you to 222 00:09:10,081 --> 00:09:14,281 Speaker 2: even do like some self inquiry with your partner and go, Okay, well, 223 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,721 Speaker 2: if this is something that we want, what in our 224 00:09:16,761 --> 00:09:19,201 Speaker 2: relationship can we work on to improve so that by 225 00:09:19,201 --> 00:09:21,081 Speaker 2: the time we do have a child and bring that 226 00:09:21,121 --> 00:09:23,641 Speaker 2: baby into the world, that we have like the most 227 00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:25,281 Speaker 2: rock solid foundations that they do. 228 00:09:25,361 --> 00:09:27,481 Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, they sound so rock solid. I don't think 229 00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:29,241 Speaker 1: it's them. I think it's like him wanting to have 230 00:09:29,321 --> 00:09:32,241 Speaker 1: his career and her wanting kids earlier than what he did. Yeah, 231 00:09:32,361 --> 00:09:34,321 Speaker 1: he wanted to be more set up financially, but they 232 00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:37,441 Speaker 1: sound so rock solid. Yeah, the communication and the connection 233 00:09:37,641 --> 00:09:40,161 Speaker 1: and their trust and they sound awesome. 234 00:09:40,361 --> 00:09:42,481 Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent, absolutely, But I think it's like 235 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:45,321 Speaker 2: one of those things where it's just like a perspective 236 00:09:45,321 --> 00:09:48,041 Speaker 2: shift almost of like, oh, you know, what can we 237 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,281 Speaker 2: control in this moment? 238 00:09:49,441 --> 00:09:50,121 Speaker 1: What can we do? 239 00:09:50,201 --> 00:09:53,081 Speaker 2: What can we focus on, you know, and allowing the 240 00:09:53,081 --> 00:09:56,761 Speaker 2: pain to still be there, grieve, create space for her 241 00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:59,121 Speaker 2: to be sad about wanting to have children not yet 242 00:09:59,161 --> 00:10:01,561 Speaker 2: having that, but then going like, what is beautiful in 243 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,921 Speaker 2: my life now? How can I expand on that and 244 00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:07,481 Speaker 2: make that bigger and better and grander, you know, and 245 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:10,321 Speaker 2: really like savor in the gratitude of like all the 246 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,481 Speaker 2: things that are here now, so that when the baby 247 00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:15,241 Speaker 2: does come eventually and it's the time, and it'll be like, 248 00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:17,841 Speaker 2: oh my God, like like what you mentioned before, of course, 249 00:10:17,961 --> 00:10:19,961 Speaker 2: like of course this was meant to be the timeline 250 00:10:19,961 --> 00:10:20,481 Speaker 2: that we were on. 251 00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:23,681 Speaker 1: And also have that discussion. Now, Okay, you can get 252 00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:26,081 Speaker 1: pregnant on your period, which is super rare. You guys 253 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:29,201 Speaker 1: are very different. Have that conversation. If this is to 254 00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:31,761 Speaker 1: happen in the next month, in six months or twelve months, 255 00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:33,961 Speaker 1: this is what will feel good for me. This is 256 00:10:33,961 --> 00:10:35,681 Speaker 1: what I want to do moving forward, Like I don't 257 00:10:35,721 --> 00:10:37,121 Speaker 1: want to live with any other great, I don't want 258 00:10:37,121 --> 00:10:39,201 Speaker 1: to put my body through another abortion. Yeah, I don't 259 00:10:39,201 --> 00:10:41,321 Speaker 1: want to be having blood clots and going through that physically, 260 00:10:41,401 --> 00:10:43,841 Speaker 1: emotionally meant to Like, that's a lot for a female 261 00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:46,641 Speaker 1: to hold, absolutely going through one abortion. I haven't been through. 262 00:10:46,681 --> 00:10:49,241 Speaker 1: But if you guys miss Tiana's episode, she went through that, 263 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:52,001 Speaker 1: and it's so much to hold. Yeah, pain and the 264 00:10:52,561 --> 00:10:54,961 Speaker 1: grief and the memory like that stays. 265 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:57,401 Speaker 2: In your body, the mental and emotional stress that takes 266 00:10:57,441 --> 00:11:00,041 Speaker 2: with that. Yeah, and doing it alone as well makes 267 00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:00,841 Speaker 2: it a lot harder. 268 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,921 Speaker 1: So to go through that a third time, that's a 269 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:06,281 Speaker 1: discussion in itself to have. And you're also so ready 270 00:11:06,281 --> 00:11:09,641 Speaker 1: to be a mom excited like you're eternal, you love kids. Yeah, 271 00:11:09,641 --> 00:11:11,841 Speaker 1: that's a beautiful place to be. Yeah, and you guys 272 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,681 Speaker 1: have a beautiful relationship, Like the baby's gonna be born 273 00:11:14,721 --> 00:11:17,441 Speaker 1: from a place of love and that's amazing. So I 274 00:11:17,441 --> 00:11:19,441 Speaker 1: would be having those conversations as well, like if this 275 00:11:19,481 --> 00:11:22,601 Speaker 1: is to happen again, which is very likely, Yeah, then 276 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,361 Speaker 1: what does that look like so that you don't have 277 00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:26,081 Speaker 1: to put your body through that because I don't think 278 00:11:26,081 --> 00:11:28,201 Speaker 1: you want to and you're allowed to onor that as well. 279 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,681 Speaker 2: Yeah, knowing that before that's such a powerful piece of 280 00:11:30,681 --> 00:11:34,121 Speaker 2: advice because knowing that beforehand is only going to help 281 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:37,961 Speaker 2: you feel more sure and certain and feel good just 282 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,201 Speaker 2: in case it does happen. 283 00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:40,801 Speaker 1: And you're having that conversation when you're not in a 284 00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:43,521 Speaker 1: highly emotional state. You're having it when you're both really 285 00:11:43,521 --> 00:11:46,201 Speaker 1: regulated and think, like from your heart, but also quite 286 00:11:46,201 --> 00:11:49,361 Speaker 1: logically as well, like your full clarity, because you're in 287 00:11:49,401 --> 00:11:51,921 Speaker 1: that state to have that conversation was when you're actually pregnant, 288 00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:55,561 Speaker 1: you're going through that, emotions are high, and yeah it's 289 00:11:55,721 --> 00:11:58,681 Speaker 1: a lot harder. Yeah, yeah, thank you for bringing that in. 290 00:11:58,721 --> 00:12:00,961 Speaker 1: And when one day you do feel pregnant, would love 291 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,921 Speaker 1: to hear from you and let us know, congratulate you 292 00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:04,601 Speaker 1: and send you a lots of love and yeah, thank 293 00:12:04,601 --> 00:12:06,641 Speaker 1: you for being so vulnerable here on the Bestie segment. 294 00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:11,601 Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see you guys on S. 295 00:12:11,601 --> 00:12:12,401 Speaker 1: Sorry. 296 00:12:12,401 --> 00:12:13,801 Speaker 2: Bye, m