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Speaker 1: Apodia production.

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Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the

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Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects

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Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect

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Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.

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Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn.

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Speaker 2: Laugh, and level up together.

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Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the

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Speaker 1: lessons to grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table

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Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow and we're here to be your expander.

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Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. Hey you

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Speaker 1: feeling mate? I feel good? How are you feeling? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling a lot of different emotions because this is

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Speaker 1: just a really big episode and it's something I've obviously

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Speaker 1: been going through myself the last couple of months. But

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Speaker 1: to finally just be talking about my life the last

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Speaker 1: couple of months, because it has been a whirlwind. It

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Speaker 1: has been something I did not see coming so unexpected.

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Speaker 1: But I'm going to tell her all today, all the

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Speaker 1: details how everything's happened and led me to this point

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Speaker 1: of one finding out that I've got a brain aneurysm.

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Speaker 1: Two finding out then a few months later that I

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Speaker 1: need to have surgery because I didn't think I would

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Speaker 1: have to have surgery after them finding it. And three

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Speaker 1: how I've come to the decision to close down Baseline

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Speaker 1: Active the clothing side of my business, so not the

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Speaker 1: app but the clothing side of my business, which is huge.

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Speaker 1: It is huge, and for all of this to happen

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Speaker 1: at once, it just like WHOA. It's been a lot.

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Speaker 1: So we'll start from the beginning. A couple of months ago,

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Speaker 1: I was really not feeling happy and it was really

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Speaker 1: unlike me. I feel like the last I don't know

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Speaker 1: how many years, five, ten, fifteen years, there's been ups

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Speaker 1: and downs, but I've really enjoyed my life. I've really

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Speaker 1: enjoyed my business. I really enjoyed the opportunities that I've had.

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Speaker 1: I've really enjoyed being in my hume. I've been hustling

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Speaker 1: for a long time and I've loved it and it

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Speaker 1: served me up until now. And a couple of months ago,

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Speaker 1: I just felt like something was off and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: quite pinpoint exactly what it was, but I felt like

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Speaker 1: I was waking up and I didn't want to get up,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to go to work. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to handle my responsibilities. I felt stressed all the time.

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Speaker 1: I felt very stretched. I felt like I just wasn't

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Speaker 1: enjoying my tasks and my roles, and even being around

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Speaker 1: older people. I kind of felt like I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to go in and be at home more and be

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Speaker 1: with my kids more. I started finding it really hard

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Speaker 1: to leave Tarla to go to work, like I just

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Speaker 1: didn't want to leave her. I wanted to be with

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Speaker 1: her more. And I was crying all the time, like honestly,

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Speaker 1: every second or third night, I would just sit on

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Speaker 1: the couch and sometimes I would try and hold it

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Speaker 1: back because I just got so sick of crying, and

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Speaker 1: Steve would just have to take one look at me

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Speaker 1: and I would start crying again, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm just so unhappy, and I don't know why, but

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Speaker 1: I did start to really feel like majority of it

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Speaker 1: came from my work life. It was just a really

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Speaker 1: difficult time and I felt really stressed, and I started

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Speaker 1: to not sleep very well. And on a Friday, we'd

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Speaker 1: organized a little girls sleepover myself, Nadine, and Sarah because

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Speaker 1: they were all feeling a bit like, Oh, let's get together.

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Speaker 1: We always have fun. Tap into that playful energy. Stepped

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Speaker 1: over there. We had a beautiful night. The next morning,

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Speaker 1: I woke up and I thought, God, my neck just

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Speaker 1: feels really, really tight. Anyways, went to training. On the

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Speaker 1: way back from training, I was meeting the girls at

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Speaker 1: the cafe, and just as I was pulling out, probably

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Speaker 1: a couple hundred meters away, I started to lose sight

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Speaker 1: in my left side of my eye. It was flickering

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Speaker 1: flashes of black if I would look straight ahead. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't see on my left side, and I was like driving,

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Speaker 1: So I was just so scared. Luckily was really close.

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Speaker 1: Pulled into the cafe and I was like, oh my goodness,

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Speaker 1: what is going on. I must be getting a migraine.

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Speaker 1: No sign of a headache or anything. I sat at

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Speaker 1: the cafe and I just the girl's like, you're right.

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, I can't see, Like I literally

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Speaker 1: can't see it on my left hand side. So Sarah

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Speaker 1: ran down to the chemist and got me some voltain

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Speaker 1: because she's like, you're getting a migraine, take volta and

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Speaker 1: it's stronger than neurothin. I took both to neurofin and

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Speaker 1: Voltarin and it kind of helped a little bit. But

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Speaker 1: I ended up getting Sarah to drive me back to

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Speaker 1: her house because it was like two minutes away, and

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Speaker 1: she just laid me down in her bed, covered my

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Speaker 1: eyes and I laid there for about two hours, just

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Speaker 1: in the darkness, and it went away. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that was scary. Just must have been a migraine. All good.

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Speaker 1: Told Levi about it. He was like, Oh, you should

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Speaker 1: probably go get a scan or something. That's really strange.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it'll be fine. Two days later,

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Speaker 1: same thing happened. I trained. I lost my sight, this

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Speaker 1: time in my right side. I was like, it must

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Speaker 1: be training. There must be something to do with my neck,

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Speaker 1: trying to find the answer, trying to find the solution.

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Speaker 1: Leva I was like, you should go get some scans.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I probably should, Hay. Anyways, life

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Speaker 1: went on, went about my week. So the first time

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Speaker 1: was a sad day, then it was a Tuesday. Then

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Speaker 1: it was all good until the Sunday and I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: at breakfast with Steve and his family, and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, I lose sight in both my eyes. I

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Speaker 1: look at my father in law because we're talking about this,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, that happens to me when I get migraines.

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Speaker 1: And I said, I can't see you. I'm looking at him.

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Speaker 1: I'm staring straight at him and I said, I can't

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Speaker 1: see you. He's like, what do you mean, and he's

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Speaker 1: waving his hand up and I said, it's blurry. I'm

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Speaker 1: having the flashes of black and I just I said,

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Speaker 1: I just need to sit back and tables all over me.

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Speaker 1: She always is. So I'm sitting in this cafe and

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Speaker 1: I just put my head back and Mari Steve's mom

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Speaker 1: passes me to a neurofin and like puts it in

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Speaker 1: my mouth and I have that and I'm panicking at

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Speaker 1: this point because I really can't see. And Steve's like,

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Speaker 1: we need to go to the doctor, like this is

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Speaker 1: a third time this week something's not right, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, let's go now. So we helped in

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Speaker 1: the car, went to the doctor and he took me

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Speaker 1: straight in and he just looked at my eyes. He

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Speaker 1: then got on the phone and must have rang a

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Speaker 1: neurologist or someone who specializes in eyes, and they said,

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Speaker 1: send us straight to the hospital. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is a bit dramatic, like wouldn't it just be

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Speaker 1: in migraine? Trying to get out of go in to

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Speaker 1: the hospital because it's a Sunday morning. I'm with my

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Speaker 1: family and I thought, what could it be? You know,

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Speaker 1: Steve drove me straight to the hospital. So sat in

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Speaker 1: the waiting room. They took me through. I got a

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Speaker 1: c T scan, I got a tone of eye test,

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Speaker 1: done everything with my eyes came back clear. And then

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Speaker 1: eight hours later the doctor comes out and said, your

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Speaker 1: eye tests are all fine, but we have found a

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Speaker 1: brain aneurysm. And I was like what. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean a brain aneurysm? And so we

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Speaker 1: found a brain aneurism. We're going to keep you overnight

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Speaker 1: because we want to put you through an MRI to

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Speaker 1: see if this was related to your eyesight and just

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Speaker 1: to find out more information about it. So you're staying

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Speaker 1: in tonight. Do you want to call a family member

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Speaker 1: and get them to drop you some stuff off? And

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Speaker 1: I'm just like I started crying, just absolute shock at

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Speaker 1: this point. And then I called Steve and he was like,

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Speaker 1: fuck okay, because Steve's had a brain aneurysm. So backstory

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Speaker 1: on Steve. He had actually I figured what it's called

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Speaker 1: ac something. Basically he had lots of little aneurysms that

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Speaker 1: come together to create one big, tangled aneurysm. They're really dangerous.

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Speaker 1: From age I think it was ten to nineteen, not

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Speaker 1: one surgeon in Australia would operate on him because it

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Speaker 1: was so dangerous. The risk of him dying in surgery

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Speaker 1: was huge, the risk of him going blind huge. Turned

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Speaker 1: nineteen one surgeon in Sydney so that I'll operate on him.

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Speaker 1: But there's still a high risk of death or a

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Speaker 1: high risk that you're going to go blind. But also

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Speaker 1: you walking around with this aneurism, you are literally a

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Speaker 1: ticking time bomb. He had to stop all contact sport.

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Speaker 1: He was a footy player. He couldn't go surfing. Anything

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Speaker 1: that could hit his head could kill him. So he's

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Speaker 1: been through one a lot more severe than mine. But

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Speaker 1: when I called him, he was just like, holy shit,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you've got a brain aneurysm. And I

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Speaker 1: had a brain aneurysm. So then I called my mum

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Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, okay, you know this is

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Speaker 1: what grand died of, and you know this is what

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Speaker 1: Uncle Mark died of and you know, Uncle Craig's got one.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, this is like

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Speaker 1: heavy in my family and she's like yeah. I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh fuck, this is really scary. So anyways, I had

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Speaker 1: forty eight hours total in hospital. The next morning I

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Speaker 1: went for an MRI that was all clear, didn't really

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Speaker 1: tell us anything else, and they told me, then, you know,

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Speaker 1: we're going to send you away. We think your loss

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Speaker 1: of sight has nothing to do it with your aneurysm

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Speaker 1: that we are putting down to extreme stress and phaustion.

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Speaker 1: So you need to slow the fuck down. Basically, however

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Speaker 1: you're living right now, like you need to take a

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Speaker 1: step back. Your body's given you symptoms and signs that

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Speaker 1: it's not handling the stress, and you need to sleep

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Speaker 1: and rest more with the aneurism, or we need to

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Speaker 1: come back in three months and we're going to see

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Speaker 1: if anything's grown or changed in any way, shape or form,

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Speaker 1: but you most likely won't have to do anything about it.

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Speaker 1: You'll just come back for yearly checkups. I was like, cool,

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Speaker 1: no worries, walked away pretty confident. My mum, however, was

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Speaker 1: pretty upset. She was like, I don't like that you're

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Speaker 1: just walking out of there. I feel like they should

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Speaker 1: be doing something about it. And I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's only just over four millimeters. Obviously isn't huge.

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Speaker 1: They obviously don't think anything's wrong, so that's a good thing.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to go through surgery. So I

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Speaker 1: kind of went about my life just you know, thinking

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Speaker 1: that it'll be all good. Went back for my second MRI.

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Speaker 1: This is only a couple of weeks ago. Steve's like,

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Speaker 1: do you want me to come with you? And I said, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'll be good. I'm sure they'll just send me away

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Speaker 1: and I'll have my yearly checkups. When I went into

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Speaker 1: the doctor, he said, look, you know, we've sat down

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Speaker 1: and spoken about your case and all the neurology team here.

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Speaker 1: We've decided it's best to move forward with surgery. And

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Speaker 1: at this point, I'm just like, once again in complete shock.

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Speaker 1: I said, am I not getting an MRI today for

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Speaker 1: you to see if it's changed? Like you haven't even

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Speaker 1: checked if it's changed. He said, it doesn't matter. I said,

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Speaker 1: but it's only small. He goes, it doesn't matter. It's

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Speaker 1: the placement of it, it's your age. The best thing

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Speaker 1: to do is for us to get in there and

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Speaker 1: to do something about it. We only can go off stats,

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Speaker 1: and I could tell you that you could be fine

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Speaker 1: for the next ten twenty forty years, but you could

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Speaker 1: walk out of here and tomorrow it ruptures or you stroke.

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Speaker 1: It is best if we do surgery to prevent any

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Speaker 1: of that happening. And at that point he told me

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Speaker 1: there's three different types of surgery they can do. But

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Speaker 1: as he's telling me this information just flying over my

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Speaker 1: head because I'm just in complete shock. He's like, let's

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Speaker 1: book in a surgery date and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh. Can I go home and just like chill

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Speaker 1: and think about it? Like I don't have to go

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Speaker 1: through the surgery, do I? And he said, look, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't advise chilling on this. Let's book a surgery date

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Speaker 1: in and if you decide this isn't for you and

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Speaker 1: you want to cancel, it's going against what we're advising you.

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Speaker 1: But obviously you're life. But let's book something in. So

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Speaker 1: did that whatever rain? Steven just bore my eyes and

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Speaker 1: just like yeah, really struggled to process say information. But

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Speaker 1: while I was in hospital, I just had a lot

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Speaker 1: of time to think. I had forty eight hours just

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Speaker 1: literally laying in hospital bed, and I was really reflecting

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Speaker 1: on my life and what's important and what I'm enjoying

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Speaker 1: and what I'm not and where my stress is really

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Speaker 1: coming from, and when it all came down to it,

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Speaker 1: it was baseline. And that was a really hard pill

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Speaker 1: for me to swallow because I think I've wrapped so

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Speaker 1: much of my identity around this business and being a

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Speaker 1: successful business woman and being able to juggle all the

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Speaker 1: hats and do so much and hustle and be successful

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Speaker 1: and grow this beast of a business that it is,

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Speaker 1: and I've been so proud of that, and I have

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Speaker 1: enjoyed so much of it until I haven't. And you know,

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Speaker 1: on social media, I definitely show more the highlight stuff

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Speaker 1: around business because that's the fun stuff that we want

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Speaker 1: to see and it's a high vibe. But most of

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Speaker 1: my time is sitting behind a desk and dealing with

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Speaker 1: the logistics and the cash flow and managing a team

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Speaker 1: and just the stress of running a big business. And

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Speaker 1: I'm being completely honest, I fucking hate it. I don't

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Speaker 1: enjoy it. And it wasn't until I had that time

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Speaker 1: and space to reflect that. I was like, ah, I

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Speaker 1: can see this so clearly now, but in the same breath,

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, what do you do about that? You

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Speaker 1: don't give up. You've got to keep going. You've got

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Speaker 1: staff that need jobs. You've paid for nine months worth

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Speaker 1: of collections. That's hundreds of thousands dollars that I put

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Speaker 1: deposits on for the next nine to twelve months. I

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Speaker 1: can't just quit a business, and this business is very

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Speaker 1: heavily reliant on me. It's probably one of the biggest

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Speaker 1: mistakes I've made throughout my career, is everything being really

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Speaker 1: heavily focused on me because I'm the front end on

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Speaker 1: the face of But once again, I've loved that part

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Speaker 1: of it. So I don't know how I would have

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Speaker 1: done it differently. Maybe I would have hired different team

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Speaker 1: members to train them up to do different I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I just come to the conclusion that I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do this anymore. And when I went home,

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Speaker 1: I hadn't even brought this up with Steve, but basically

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Speaker 1: the next day he sat me down because when I

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Speaker 1: was in hospital, obviously the team and him had to

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Speaker 1: step in and take over quite a lot of my

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Speaker 1: roles and deletgate, and also Steve wanted to change up

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Speaker 1: the way the business was running so that I could

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Speaker 1: step back a little bit more because I'd been advised

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Speaker 1: by my medical team to not work as hard and

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Speaker 1: full on as what I was. So he'd changed a

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Speaker 1: few things up. Team members were stepping up and trying

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Speaker 1: to do different things. And he sat me down and

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Speaker 1: he just said, you haven't been happy for months, and

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Speaker 1: you know I will do whatever I can to support

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Speaker 1: you in your dreams and your brands and whatever you

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Speaker 1: want to do. Like I will step up, I will

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Speaker 1: work harder, I will take on more. If your heart

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Speaker 1: is one hundred and ten percent in this, if you

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Speaker 1: know this is what you want to do for the

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Speaker 1: next five, ten, fifteen years, like this is just everything

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Speaker 1: to you. But if you don't, I don't think guy,

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Speaker 1: I can give it one hundred percent either. And in

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Speaker 1: that moment, I knew it was over. I knew, and

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Speaker 1: I boiled my eyes and he just sent me off

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Speaker 1: for a walk so I could like breathe in process,

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Speaker 1: and I just went for this walk. I knew I

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Speaker 1: had to make the decision to close it down, but

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Speaker 1: there's just so much like so many layers to it,

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Speaker 1: and then yeah, the rescuer and people pleaser and me

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Speaker 1: my staff. My first thing that came to my head

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Speaker 1: is like, now I have to let go of some

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Speaker 1: of the team members, and I have to announce my audience,

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Speaker 1: and just so many reflections and learnings and aha moments

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Speaker 1: of who I am and how I've been showing up

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Speaker 1: is all about to change. But the sadness and the

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Speaker 1: fear didn't last too long. And that's how I knew

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Speaker 1: this was the right decision for me. And I say

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Speaker 1: that with such like excitement. It was really really exciting

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Speaker 1: to come to that decision. So he made this decision

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Speaker 1: pretty damn quickly. When we went to Levi about it,

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Speaker 1: he was so supportive because he's obviously our business partner

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Speaker 1: in everything that we do and has been for the

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Speaker 1: last fifteen years. And he just looked at me and

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Speaker 1: he just said, this is the right decision. He's like,

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Speaker 1: how can you argue with your health? You cannot make

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Speaker 1: a decision to keep going based on your health and

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Speaker 1: your other values, which is family and freedom and time.

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Speaker 1: They're the things that I value most and baseline robs

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Speaker 1: me of all of that. Now, it was taking more

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Speaker 1: than what it was giving. And I say, in any relationship,

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Speaker 1: any job, any situation, if it's taking more than it's giving,

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's right for you. And we spoke

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Speaker 1: about another podcast that whole like never give up, don't

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Speaker 1: give up. But I honestly have learned firsthand experienced in

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Speaker 1: myself that it takes bravery and strength to know when

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Speaker 1: it is time to let go. And it's not easy.

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Speaker 1: It's really uncomfortable because, like I said, so much with

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Speaker 1: my identity has been wrapped around being the successful business

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Speaker 1: woman and having this brand. But I just know the

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Speaker 1: this is right for me, and I'm really excited for

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Speaker 1: this next chapter. But there's been so many like cool

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Speaker 1: little lessons along the way that I thought I would

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Speaker 1: touch on today. So one of the first ones is

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Speaker 1: just this feminine intuition and pull that I've had to

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Speaker 1: be more in my mum life. And I know that

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Speaker 1: sounds ridiculous because I'm a mum, but I work so much.

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Speaker 1: I work Monday to Friday, and then even on the

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Speaker 1: weekends I'm working. And this last like six months, I'm

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Speaker 1: working at nighttime too. And what's the first thing I

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Speaker 1: do when I wake up I'm working. What I do

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Speaker 1: on my walk, I work. It never stops ever, And

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Speaker 1: that is the cool flexible thing about having a business,

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Speaker 1: they say, is like, you know you've got that flexibility.

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Speaker 1: And yes, I've never missed out on any of Taj's

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Speaker 1: school events. I've been able to still travel and do

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Speaker 1: really cool things and still keep up to date with

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Speaker 1: all of my work. But it never stops. And the

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Speaker 1: brain like mental load that you carry as a business owner,

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Speaker 1: like I never hear anyone talk about. It's all glamorized

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Speaker 1: on social media, which I've been a part of too,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to come on and be complaining

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Speaker 1: about how hard business is, because I feel so grateful

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Speaker 1: that I'm in this position to want to have a business.

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Speaker 1: I love get to work on something I'm really passionate about,

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Speaker 1: Like I love active where I love helping women feel amazing.

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Speaker 1: That will never change. But the other stuff that people

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Speaker 1: don't talk about, it's a mental load that you never

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Speaker 1: really get a break from, especially if you're in the

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Speaker 1: growth stage or is just at a scale and level

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Speaker 1: that baseline was at. So I've felt, yeah, like I

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Speaker 1: want to be at home more. I want to be

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Speaker 1: with my kids, more in charge is at school, but

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Speaker 1: Tyler's like just about to turn two. I just want

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Speaker 1: more time with her. There's time's going by so fast,

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Speaker 1: and yeah I get weekends and after work, but even

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Speaker 1: the morning, I've got like an hour before I'm heading

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Speaker 1: off to work for the day, and the hour's chaos.

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Speaker 1: It's not quality, nice time with my kids. And wanting

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Speaker 1: more time with her, Like I see these moms get

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Speaker 1: these whole days where they just go to the park

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Speaker 1: and like cook and do all this stuff. And I

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Speaker 1: started to do that on a Thursday, which I've spoken about,

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Speaker 1: and it's just my favorite day of the week. I

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Speaker 1: feel so feminine and flowy and connected and just just nice.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I want more of that. But I

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Speaker 1: felt so stuck with that. I haven't been able to

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Speaker 1: I can't just walk away and expect someone else to

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Speaker 1: do my roles. So that was a huge wake up

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Speaker 1: call for me that made this decision really easy. I've

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Speaker 1: also had a reflection of like, I have been hustling

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Speaker 1: and had my foot on the pedal since I was

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Speaker 1: thirteen years old. That's when I have my first job.

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Speaker 1: I've always been a really, really hard worker, and I've

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Speaker 1: always been really praised for that. Wow, you're such a

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Speaker 1: hard worker. You juggle so much. How do you do

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Speaker 1: it all? So I've kind of stayed in that personality

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Speaker 1: because it's brought me so much, like I suppose, pride,

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Speaker 1: and I've been so proud of that and people will

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Speaker 1: look up to me for that. So that's a part

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Speaker 1: of my identity work that I need to do now

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Speaker 1: is like, oh, am I still inspirational? If I don't

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Speaker 1: have a business? Am I still looked up to? Am

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Speaker 1: I still good enough? Am I still smart enough? Have

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Speaker 1: I failed? Like all of these stories and questions have

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Speaker 1: been rumbling in my head. It's so quick for me

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Speaker 1: to come back to But here you are all of

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Speaker 1: those things without baseline. Like, baseline isn't who I am.

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Speaker 1: That's not what makes me strong and you know, inspiring

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Speaker 1: or all those things that I want to be. It's

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Speaker 1: not defined on whether I have an active relabel. That

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Speaker 1: was just so interesting to unpack. Yeah, and then one

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Speaker 1: of the other things was I realized I have had

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Speaker 1: my toes dipped in so many different things over the years,

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Speaker 1: and once again, I've loved doing that. I don't regret

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Speaker 1: it at all. I've helped start up with loads of

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Speaker 1: my friends businesses, and I've invested here and there, and

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Speaker 1: I've got lots of collaborations, and i work as an

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Speaker 1: influence as well. And I've had multiple businesses and brands

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Speaker 1: over the years, and I don't regret any of them.

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Speaker 1: I've loved all of them, and some have lasted a

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Speaker 1: really long time and some have been a short season.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like now even have going from one

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Speaker 1: kid to two kids, you just don't have as much time. Therefore,

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Speaker 1: I can't give one hundred percent into anything. So almost

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Speaker 1: feel like I've been giving most things ten or twenty

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Speaker 1: percent and that doesn't feel good for me. Yeah, if

413
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Speaker 1: I do something, I want to be able to do

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Speaker 1: it properly and put all of my into it, make

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Speaker 1: sure that it's something that I'm really really proud of,

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Speaker 1: and I can't do that. Like high Away, for example.

417
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Speaker 1: I love our brand Hideaway. My mom started that. I'm

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Speaker 1: so proud of that, and I can never help with that.

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Speaker 1: When Steve comes to me to ask for help, it

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Speaker 1: almost causes like a yucky energy between us because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: how do you think I've got time to do that?

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Speaker 1: And I'll make comments like that because I'm so stretched,

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Speaker 1: but he's you know, we've got strengths and weaknesses, and

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Speaker 1: he obviously would love my strength in there, and he

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00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 1: helps with Baseline as well, but both of us are

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Speaker 1: just to run two brands of that size is really

427
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 1: really difficult, and then to find time to connect and

428
00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:42,681
Speaker 1: have a beautiful relationship that I desire, that's really hard,

429
00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 1: and we've found it harderer since having another kid the

430
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,041
Speaker 1: last two years. It's just things that now I've had

431
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:50,281
Speaker 1: that time in space to reflect, I'm like, oh, I

432
00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 1: can see how that's not serving me. And once again,

433
00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 1: I always am just going back to my values. I

434
00:19:55,001 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 1: value my family first, and my health, time and freedom.

435
00:19:58,441 --> 00:20:01,321
Speaker 1: I'm a true Sagittarian anyone that's Sagittarios. We value freedom

436
00:20:01,761 --> 00:20:04,961
Speaker 1: so much and this brand doesn't give me any of that.

437
00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 1: So it comes back to that. It just makes the

438
00:20:06,761 --> 00:20:10,601
Speaker 1: decision so much easier. So many lessons, heyah. Another one

439
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 1: that I realized is just I feel like I've just

440
00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:15,321
Speaker 1: lost the fun of it and I don't feel like

441
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 1: with this brand that I get to be present and

442
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 1: celebrate my wins because with based on we have to

443
00:20:20,681 --> 00:20:22,241
Speaker 1: be almost you know, we used to be a couple

444
00:20:22,281 --> 00:20:23,920
Speaker 1: of months ahead, and then we're six months ahead, and

445
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 1: there were nine months ahead, and the new twelve months ahead.

446
00:20:26,241 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 1: And you'll launch a collection and you see the money

447
00:20:28,921 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 1: come in, and then twice as much goes out to

448
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,841
Speaker 1: the next two collections. And it's this constant, like hamster

449
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 1: wheel of just always thinking ahead and always being ahead

450
00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:40,120
Speaker 1: that I'm never present in the moment celebrating it. So

451
00:20:40,201 --> 00:20:42,241
Speaker 1: taking it all on, I'm just like, holy shit, I

452
00:20:42,281 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 1: don't enjoy running all parts of the business. So that

453
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 1: was a huge, big, expensive lesson for me to learn.

454
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,161
Speaker 1: But you just can't have any regrets. You really can't.

455
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,761
Speaker 1: That's what I've learned. I feel like every part of

456
00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:56,401
Speaker 1: my journey the last fifteen years, all the businesses, all

457
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: the moments, all the failurees, all the highs, all the opportunities,

458
00:20:59,681 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: all the things I've said yes to, all of it

459
00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:04,801
Speaker 1: has led me to this part and I have really

460
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,281
Speaker 1: had to unpack what success means to me. And I

461
00:21:08,281 --> 00:21:11,321
Speaker 1: feel like Baseline's been so successful, not only financially with

462
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,321
Speaker 1: connection and incredible collections and the brand that I've built

463
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,481
Speaker 1: the community, but it's successful to the point now where

464
00:21:18,521 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 1: that's done what I wanted it to do, and I

465
00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:23,281
Speaker 1: don't see where I can go with it. I can't

466
00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:26,801
Speaker 1: see where I get more satisfaction or fulfillment out of

467
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 1: discontinuing running it. How it is, The success for me

468
00:21:29,441 --> 00:21:31,121
Speaker 1: is being able to close it off once it's got

469
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,201
Speaker 1: to where you would have wanted it to go. This

470
00:21:34,241 --> 00:21:35,721
Speaker 1: is a dream of mine to have my own active

471
00:21:35,721 --> 00:21:38,601
Speaker 1: with label, and I've done that. Now, I've done that,

472
00:21:38,761 --> 00:21:40,401
Speaker 1: and I'm really proud of that. It's been the last

473
00:21:40,441 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 1: eight years of my life. But redefining what success is

474
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 1: it's like when I was reflecting in the hospital, I

475
00:21:46,201 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: did so much journaling. I was like rewind to younger Ashley.

476
00:21:49,521 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: Success to me was all about growth and more. I

477
00:21:52,761 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 1: wanted more money, I wanted more followers. I wanted more growth,

478
00:21:55,721 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 1: more businesses, more significance, more opportunities, more business, more hustle.

479
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,801
Speaker 1: It was just more, more, and more, even like the

480
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,761
Speaker 1: nice things like nice hand and travel and doing all

481
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,521
Speaker 1: the cool things and paying for my friends to do

482
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 1: everything like and a reflection, I was like, Okay, in

483
00:22:12,241 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 1: my brain, that's what I define success is. I was like, cool,

484
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:20,561
Speaker 1: ash You've done it, So what now. I dreamt as

485
00:22:20,561 --> 00:22:22,961
Speaker 1: a little girl to be famous and to be on stage. Okay,

486
00:22:22,961 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 1: you've done that. In my mind like I have been

487
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,641
Speaker 1: roll on, I've been on stages, but I've had three

488
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 1: thousand people turn up to my events. Okay, cool? And

489
00:22:31,241 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 1: I felt nothing. Talking to myself was like, oh my gosh,

490
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,481
Speaker 1: I've tipped all those boxes. They don't mean what they

491
00:22:37,801 --> 00:22:40,441
Speaker 1: used to mean to me. That doesn't excite me anymore,

492
00:22:40,441 --> 00:22:43,681
Speaker 1: that doesn't bring me fulfillment, it doesn't bring me anything,

493
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,321
Speaker 1: So shit, what does success mean to me now? And

494
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 1: then I got to go on a journey of like,

495
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, okay, to me, it's like a really

496
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:57,561
Speaker 1: regulated nervous system. It is time to spend with my friends,

497
00:22:57,561 --> 00:23:02,360
Speaker 1: my family, my loved ones, myself. It's feeling excited about

498
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:06,961
Speaker 1: my day. It's not putting my in a box of

499
00:23:07,001 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: actually being this successful business person. It's like, I'm so

500
00:23:10,241 --> 00:23:14,041
Speaker 1: multifaceted and there's so many hats that I wear and

501
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,441
Speaker 1: to be able to honor all of that. I will

502
00:23:17,441 --> 00:23:20,401
Speaker 1: still always enjoy the nice things in life, but they

503
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: don't bring me happiness anymore. And that was a really

504
00:23:23,921 --> 00:23:27,201
Speaker 1: cool realization that once again made the decision so much easier.

505
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,001
Speaker 1: On top of that, I feel like I was kind

506
00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:32,801
Speaker 1: of just surviving through each day, not thriving. I love

507
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,761
Speaker 1: that saying, I really do. And I feel like throughout

508
00:23:35,761 --> 00:23:38,681
Speaker 1: the last couple of years, even recently, I've had opportunities

509
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:41,561
Speaker 1: that I haven't been able to say yes to because

510
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:48,521
Speaker 1: I feel like almost bogged down with my responsibilities with Baseline. Yeah, overall,

511
00:23:48,801 --> 00:23:53,201
Speaker 1: this experience with my health, it's really shaken me up

512
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 1: and shaken my whole world up. I just was so

513
00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:00,001
Speaker 1: burnt out I didn't even realize it. And I think

514
00:24:00,041 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 1: the universe has a really interesting way to give you

515
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 1: your little gentle nudges. And I always say, the universe

516
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,321
Speaker 1: will like whisper to you first and give you a

517
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,721
Speaker 1: little couple of symptoms to see if you'll take action

518
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 1: and honor that. And if you don't listen to that,

519
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,241
Speaker 1: it'll get a little bit louder and push you a

520
00:24:15,281 --> 00:24:17,561
Speaker 1: little bit harder. And if you don't listen to that,

521
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:21,160
Speaker 1: it'll then yell and push you so hard that it'll

522
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 1: force you to stop. And I feel like the universe

523
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 1: has been telling me for the last couple of months

524
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: that this isn't working for you anymore, and you're not happy,

525
00:24:29,321 --> 00:24:31,201
Speaker 1: but you keep ignoring it. Because I kept pushing through

526
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,881
Speaker 1: like okay, I'm crying up said okay, get up, try again,

527
00:24:34,001 --> 00:24:35,521
Speaker 1: keep going. You've got to keep going, like just never

528
00:24:35,521 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: give up. Push push, push, You've got this. It's just

529
00:24:37,961 --> 00:24:41,201
Speaker 1: a hard time. It's just you know, your period's coming up.

530
00:24:41,241 --> 00:24:44,241
Speaker 1: It's just the full moon. Everyone's finding it hard right now.

531
00:24:44,241 --> 00:24:47,041
Speaker 1: It's just a phase. And then when you find out

532
00:24:47,041 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 1: a healthcare like that, it just like I felt like

533
00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: the universe literally shook me and was like, wake the

534
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: fuck up. This isn't working and you need to stop.

535
00:24:54,281 --> 00:24:57,161
Speaker 1: I'm going to force you to stop in a way

536
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,041
Speaker 1: of going into brain surgery. Okay, thanks Universe. But it's

537
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,761
Speaker 1: really good because it's shaken me up and it's made

538
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:06,801
Speaker 1: me re evaluate everything, and I'm so grateful for that.

539
00:25:06,921 --> 00:25:09,521
Speaker 1: I'm also just so grateful that they found the aneurism.

540
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,321
Speaker 1: Anyone with the aneurism, you were literally a walking, ticking

541
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,561
Speaker 1: time bomb. You never know when it could rupture, You

542
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:19,121
Speaker 1: never know. My grand didn't know she had one, so

543
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 1: she was eating lunch, felt dizzy and went for a

544
00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 1: nap and passed and asleep. My uncle dropped dead, like yeah,

545
00:25:25,801 --> 00:25:29,120
Speaker 1: you don't know, And that is so common. There's kids

546
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: as teenagers, adults that literally just die in their sleep

547
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 1: or you know, drop dead from theirs and rupturing like,

548
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,241
Speaker 1: how lucky am I that they found it? How lucky

549
00:25:37,281 --> 00:25:38,961
Speaker 1: am I that I get to go and have surgery.

550
00:25:39,281 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 3: It's really changing your whole life, like me just seeing

551
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 3: you and being your friend and seeing the transition of

552
00:25:43,921 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 3: all this happening. It's like it's saving your life, but

553
00:25:47,321 --> 00:25:49,121
Speaker 3: it's also the start of a brand new one.

554
00:25:49,321 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: That's exactly how I feel. And I don't know if

555
00:25:52,561 --> 00:25:54,961
Speaker 1: that sounds dramatic to anyone else, but that's exactly how

556
00:25:54,961 --> 00:25:58,321
Speaker 1: it feels. You could not have worded that better. It's

557
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,321
Speaker 1: literally this whole situation saved my life, made me realize

558
00:26:02,321 --> 00:26:05,481
Speaker 1: what's important, and it's given me like a second chance

559
00:26:05,521 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: to have a chapter two almost that looks and feels

560
00:26:08,721 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: completely different, and I'm so excited for it. And I

561
00:26:12,001 --> 00:26:16,801
Speaker 1: don't even know what the next chapter will be like,

562
00:26:16,801 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 1: Like it feels so weird the thought of not having

563
00:26:20,481 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 1: baseline to think about, because it's all I think about

564
00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:26,521
Speaker 1: all day every day. It's completely consumed me for the

565
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 1: last eight years, in good ways and bad ways. Like

566
00:26:29,441 --> 00:26:30,801
Speaker 1: I said, I've loved so much of it. And I

567
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,961
Speaker 1: will miss being out designed and have my own actual

568
00:26:32,961 --> 00:26:35,321
Speaker 1: for a brand, like I will miss having you know,

569
00:26:35,481 --> 00:26:38,561
Speaker 1: the girls and the team and whatever. But my passion

570
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 1: for helping women and making them feel confident doesn't have

571
00:26:41,721 --> 00:26:43,761
Speaker 1: to be defined around the clothes that they wear. Yeah,

572
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,561
Speaker 1: and that has been a part of it, because I

573
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: love when women say I feel so confident in baseline,

574
00:26:47,521 --> 00:26:48,961
Speaker 1: I love the way you know, I can go to

575
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:51,241
Speaker 1: the gym and feel supported, and these tips really hold

576
00:26:51,241 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 1: me in here after having a baby, and this color

577
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,921
Speaker 1: makes me feel so feminine, fun like. I love all

578
00:26:55,921 --> 00:26:57,281
Speaker 1: of that. It will never get old to me when

579
00:26:57,281 --> 00:26:59,321
Speaker 1: I walk down the street, walk into a gym, seeing

580
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: mom at a park, rocking baseline. That's been beautiful. But

581
00:27:02,041 --> 00:27:04,001
Speaker 1: my true passion for helping women doesn't have to be

582
00:27:04,001 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: defined by the closest they're wearing that I've made. Had

583
00:27:06,521 --> 00:27:08,041
Speaker 1: someone say to me that I was talking about this.

584
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 1: It was a staff member and they said, oh, I

585
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,561
Speaker 1: feel like you're going to get a bit of pushback

586
00:27:11,561 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: on this, that you're in such a privileged position to

587
00:27:14,321 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 1: make that decision to close it down and to step

588
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,281
Speaker 1: back from work. And I said, yeah, they could probably

589
00:27:18,281 --> 00:27:20,041
Speaker 1: take it like that, but what people don't realize and

590
00:27:20,041 --> 00:27:23,521
Speaker 1: what they haven't seen is the last fifteen years of

591
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: time and energy and money that I've sacrificed and built

592
00:27:26,721 --> 00:27:29,561
Speaker 1: up my personal brand and built up hide Away and

593
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: built up my collaborations with Happy Way and Clean Treats,

594
00:27:32,761 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 1: and I've got my toes dipped in so many things

595
00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:39,801
Speaker 1: that this wasn't a financial decision. I'm supported by my

596
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: other streams of income and I said it on a

597
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: recent podcast that that was a massive piece of advice

598
00:27:44,521 --> 00:27:47,281
Speaker 1: that Tony Robins gave me. It was never have one

599
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,160
Speaker 1: leg to stand on. You have seven, So of one

600
00:27:49,241 --> 00:27:51,761
Speaker 1: leg breaks, you've got another six. And that is kind

601
00:27:51,801 --> 00:27:54,001
Speaker 1: of the position that I'm in. I do feel very,

602
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: very lucky in privileged for sure, but I've also built

603
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: this life that I can step back and be with

604
00:27:59,801 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: my kids more. It's not like I won't be working.

605
00:28:02,241 --> 00:28:05,041
Speaker 1: Like Grow and Glow is growing and expanding so much.

606
00:28:05,281 --> 00:28:07,041
Speaker 1: We put so much into this, but I want to

607
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,001
Speaker 1: put more into this Hideaway. Would love to have me

608
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:11,360
Speaker 1: in there more, and I would love to be in

609
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: there a little bit more. And there's has been other opportunities,

610
00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: like I said in the past, that I've been offered,

611
00:28:16,721 --> 00:28:19,521
Speaker 1: whether it's speaking events or travel opportunities and just different

612
00:28:19,681 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 1: cool things that I'm like, I can't do that because

613
00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: I've got this on. So it kind of excites me

614
00:28:25,681 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 1: that I'm just going to have more space, first of all,

615
00:28:27,801 --> 00:28:29,561
Speaker 1: to look after my health. Like, honestly, that is the

616
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,961
Speaker 1: first and foremost most important thing. I will never take

617
00:28:33,681 --> 00:28:37,961
Speaker 1: my health, my brain, my body, my energy, my family,

618
00:28:38,041 --> 00:28:40,241
Speaker 1: my friends. Like the amount of support that I've had

619
00:28:40,321 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: through this, it's just been so beautiful. Even Levi when

620
00:28:44,321 --> 00:28:46,121
Speaker 1: we first went to him, I was like petrified and

621
00:28:46,241 --> 00:28:48,961
Speaker 1: telling him that we're going to close this down because

622
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:51,681
Speaker 1: that's his business as well. But how supportive he was,

623
00:28:51,721 --> 00:28:53,281
Speaker 1: and he was like, yeah, that is the only option,

624
00:28:53,881 --> 00:28:56,401
Speaker 1: Like you have to do this for you because health

625
00:28:56,441 --> 00:28:57,961
Speaker 1: is the number one. Like you can't argue with that.

626
00:28:58,081 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 3: He just cares about you you so much that it's

627
00:29:00,481 --> 00:29:01,161
Speaker 3: not even an issue.

628
00:29:01,201 --> 00:29:02,721
Speaker 1: He was like, why the hell would you keep going

629
00:29:03,081 --> 00:29:06,041
Speaker 1: when it's caused this. It's beautiful. Yeah, so so cool.

630
00:29:06,441 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: I wrote this in my journal. I thought I'd just

631
00:29:09,241 --> 00:29:12,041
Speaker 1: read out a little paragraph. I've journaled like literally a

632
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 1: whole notebook, so I could have read it all. But

633
00:29:15,601 --> 00:29:17,081
Speaker 1: this is just a little part that I thought was

634
00:29:17,121 --> 00:29:19,881
Speaker 1: really cool. I'm closing off a chapter of who actually

635
00:29:19,961 --> 00:29:22,681
Speaker 1: once was, whoever I knew her it was, and what

636
00:29:22,681 --> 00:29:24,681
Speaker 1: they knew her for. And I don't even think I

637
00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:27,801
Speaker 1: fully know who I am once I remove all the titles, hats,

638
00:29:27,801 --> 00:29:30,361
Speaker 1: and achievements. But I'm really excited to get to know

639
00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:32,961
Speaker 1: this rebirth of who I am once I strip away

640
00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:35,081
Speaker 1: so much of what I thought was to be me

641
00:29:35,521 --> 00:29:41,321
Speaker 1: or what others have put me into boxes. To be crying,

642
00:29:41,361 --> 00:29:45,361
Speaker 1: I'm crying, I said to Steve. I really hope I

643
00:29:45,361 --> 00:29:49,681
Speaker 1: get through this episode without crying. Now you're crying. I'm

644
00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,801
Speaker 1: so proud of you. I'm just so proud of you.

645
00:29:51,841 --> 00:29:55,321
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for you. And I wanted to share

646
00:29:55,321 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: this because obviously, I've shared so much of my life.

647
00:29:58,561 --> 00:30:06,161
Speaker 1: The last Oh, give me a moment, I wish I

648
00:30:06,161 --> 00:30:09,921
Speaker 1: wasn't on my period, please so much easier. Oh made

649
00:30:09,921 --> 00:30:14,441
Speaker 1: me laugh. I've shared so much of my life and

650
00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:19,561
Speaker 1: me having all of these realizations and this health scare

651
00:30:19,601 --> 00:30:21,881
Speaker 1: like nothing like a health scare shift your whole life.

652
00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:24,721
Speaker 1: But I really want to share this part of the

653
00:30:24,761 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: business because when I first started having these thoughts, I

654
00:30:28,241 --> 00:30:32,161
Speaker 1: couldn't think of like one person that had gone through this,

655
00:30:32,961 --> 00:30:37,081
Speaker 1: and in a public sense as well of like consciously

656
00:30:37,161 --> 00:30:39,881
Speaker 1: like saying I'm closing down my business. I haven't really

657
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:44,681
Speaker 1: seen anyone else do that and put the business aside.

658
00:30:45,401 --> 00:30:48,121
Speaker 1: I really want this message to be an empowering message

659
00:30:48,161 --> 00:30:53,801
Speaker 1: of like, if you are not feeling happy, and it's

660
00:30:53,801 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 1: not that you're not going to feel sad or have

661
00:30:55,241 --> 00:30:57,561
Speaker 1: different emotions, that's part of the human experience. We all

662
00:30:57,601 --> 00:30:59,801
Speaker 1: know that. But day to day, if you are not

663
00:30:59,881 --> 00:31:04,561
Speaker 1: feeling happy, something has to change, something has to shift.

664
00:31:04,841 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: Your body is telling you that through these emotions, and

665
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:12,081
Speaker 1: it's our responsibility. Like no one else can make those

666
00:31:12,081 --> 00:31:15,681
Speaker 1: decisions for you, No one else can save you. You

667
00:31:15,721 --> 00:31:18,121
Speaker 1: can park them to the side as much as you want,

668
00:31:18,561 --> 00:31:23,041
Speaker 1: like I did for months, but your body will keep

669
00:31:23,161 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: nudging and pushing you and then forcing you to listen.

670
00:31:26,721 --> 00:31:29,641
Speaker 1: And I really hope anyone listening that if you are

671
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:33,161
Speaker 1: having thoughts of just not feeling a line, not feeling happy,

672
00:31:33,201 --> 00:31:37,521
Speaker 1: and feeling really off center, like something's just not feeling good,

673
00:31:37,561 --> 00:31:40,881
Speaker 1: that you can change your mind. Yes, it's going to

674
00:31:40,921 --> 00:31:43,961
Speaker 1: take sacrifice, Like I've lost hundreds of thousands of dollars

675
00:31:44,001 --> 00:31:46,761
Speaker 1: closing this down because all the deposits that we've put

676
00:31:46,761 --> 00:31:49,321
Speaker 1: down for these future collections, you don't get your money back.

677
00:31:49,921 --> 00:31:52,921
Speaker 1: That's see you later. It's cost me a lot of money.

678
00:31:53,801 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: People have lost their jobs. A couple of them have

679
00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:58,281
Speaker 1: been able to absorb in to hide away. That was

680
00:31:58,321 --> 00:32:03,401
Speaker 1: really hard. But you are responsible for your life and

681
00:32:03,441 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: your happiness, and you have to honor yourself that you

682
00:32:07,081 --> 00:32:10,161
Speaker 1: literally get one life, like I'm thirty five years old,

683
00:32:11,441 --> 00:32:13,721
Speaker 1: life so short, like my uncle passed away at forty two.

684
00:32:14,601 --> 00:32:18,881
Speaker 1: Like I refuse to live my life to please others

685
00:32:19,841 --> 00:32:23,241
Speaker 1: or to be looked at as successful. I don't give

686
00:32:23,281 --> 00:32:25,121
Speaker 1: it a fuck or people think about me anymore. I

687
00:32:25,201 --> 00:32:26,881
Speaker 1: don't care if they think I've failed, or if they

688
00:32:26,881 --> 00:32:28,681
Speaker 1: don't think I'm successful, if they think I should have

689
00:32:28,761 --> 00:32:32,801
Speaker 1: kept going, kept pushing, I don't care because my priority

690
00:32:32,881 --> 00:32:35,601
Speaker 1: is my health and my family, and I choose to

691
00:32:35,601 --> 00:32:38,081
Speaker 1: put that first and I will always put that first.

692
00:32:38,601 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: And it probably shouldn't have taken a health scare to

693
00:32:41,041 --> 00:32:43,801
Speaker 1: make me do that, but how cool that it has.

694
00:32:44,601 --> 00:32:46,641
Speaker 1: Like I said, everything in my journey has led me

695
00:32:46,681 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: to be exactly where I am right now, and for

696
00:32:49,761 --> 00:32:52,761
Speaker 1: the first time in a long time, I feel so free,

697
00:32:53,441 --> 00:32:55,721
Speaker 1: and I haven't even had my brain surgery yet. When

698
00:32:55,721 --> 00:32:58,921
Speaker 1: I first was talking to the surgeon, I obviously was

699
00:32:58,961 --> 00:33:01,201
Speaker 1: really scared of the risks of surgery, which they are

700
00:33:01,201 --> 00:33:04,081
Speaker 1: really scary. It's like one to two percent of people

701
00:33:04,161 --> 00:33:08,121
Speaker 1: stroke in surgery or have a stroke. My anuism could

702
00:33:08,161 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: rupture when I'm on the table, which could lead to

703
00:33:10,681 --> 00:33:14,001
Speaker 1: brain issues and problems. If I stroke on the table.

704
00:33:14,081 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: My aneuism's on the right side of my brain, just

705
00:33:16,481 --> 00:33:19,401
Speaker 1: behind my eye. If I stroke, I could lose the

706
00:33:19,441 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: ability to use my left hand and my left leg. Like,

707
00:33:23,041 --> 00:33:27,081
Speaker 1: these are real risks, and there's obviously a risk that

708
00:33:27,361 --> 00:33:29,881
Speaker 1: you could pass on the table. There's a huge risk.

709
00:33:29,921 --> 00:33:32,921
Speaker 1: So those thoughts are being told that by a surgical

710
00:33:32,961 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: team when you have children. I can't even explain the

711
00:33:37,001 --> 00:33:39,681
Speaker 1: fear that came through me. But when I was talking

712
00:33:39,681 --> 00:33:41,281
Speaker 1: to my mom about it, because I was like, something

713
00:33:41,321 --> 00:33:43,081
Speaker 1: ever happened to me like my kids? Like, these are

714
00:33:43,121 --> 00:33:48,081
Speaker 1: the thoughts so scary, right, But she's like, you get

715
00:33:48,081 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: a chance now for your life to be saved so

716
00:33:50,281 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: that you can be here for them. If you don't

717
00:33:52,801 --> 00:33:57,121
Speaker 1: and it ruptures, most likely you'll die because you'll probably

718
00:33:57,121 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 1: be nowhere near a hospital where they can quickly help you.

719
00:33:59,481 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: Whereas my surgeon said to me, if you rupture on

720
00:34:01,201 --> 00:34:02,841
Speaker 1: the table or you stroke on the table when I'm

721
00:34:02,881 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: operating on you, it is the best place for that

722
00:34:05,081 --> 00:34:07,201
Speaker 1: to happen because I can do things that can minimize

723
00:34:07,201 --> 00:34:10,361
Speaker 1: the damage, can minimize the brain damage, you can minimize

724
00:34:10,561 --> 00:34:13,321
Speaker 1: how severe your stroke is. The good thing about being

725
00:34:13,321 --> 00:34:15,481
Speaker 1: in my right side is if it strokes on your

726
00:34:15,521 --> 00:34:17,521
Speaker 1: left side, you can lose the ability to be able

727
00:34:17,521 --> 00:34:20,001
Speaker 1: to speak properly. On my right side, it won't happen,

728
00:34:20,161 --> 00:34:21,561
Speaker 1: so I'll still be able to talk on the podcast.

729
00:34:23,281 --> 00:34:26,601
Speaker 1: May need some help getting up the stairs. I've got you.

730
00:34:27,361 --> 00:34:30,401
Speaker 1: If it's not loving, have to I have to right,

731
00:34:30,681 --> 00:34:32,361
Speaker 1: You've got to be in humor into otherwise I'll just

732
00:34:32,401 --> 00:34:34,641
Speaker 1: keep crying so I'll still be able to continue with

733
00:34:34,681 --> 00:34:39,481
Speaker 1: the podcast. We're all got there, guys. But yeah, this

734
00:34:39,561 --> 00:34:42,041
Speaker 1: is a thing like so many emotions can coexist. And

735
00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:44,041
Speaker 1: as I'm going through this, this is literally I'm talking

736
00:34:44,041 --> 00:34:46,441
Speaker 1: to you guys as I'm experiencing. This has all happened

737
00:34:46,481 --> 00:34:50,161
Speaker 1: within the last four weeks. It's been a big month. Yeah,

738
00:34:50,441 --> 00:34:53,801
Speaker 1: it's happened so fast. From finding out about my surgery,

739
00:34:53,921 --> 00:34:57,001
Speaker 1: to making this decision, to putting things in place, to

740
00:34:57,201 --> 00:35:00,321
Speaker 1: figuring out how to wrap this up. It's been huge,

741
00:35:01,161 --> 00:35:03,201
Speaker 1: but I feel so at peace with it all and

742
00:35:03,281 --> 00:35:05,681
Speaker 1: so excited for all. I just no, I'm going to

743
00:35:05,721 --> 00:35:08,201
Speaker 1: be okay through the surgery, Like I really do believe that.

744
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:10,401
Speaker 1: And even if I'm not okay, I'm going to be okay,

745
00:35:10,721 --> 00:35:13,201
Speaker 1: even if I lost the ability to use my left

746
00:35:13,521 --> 00:35:15,121
Speaker 1: arm and leg, Like if I'm still here with my

747
00:35:15,241 --> 00:35:18,921
Speaker 1: kids and I've still got time on my side, amazing

748
00:35:19,001 --> 00:35:20,921
Speaker 1: because a lot of people don't get that opportunity, that

749
00:35:20,961 --> 00:35:23,521
Speaker 1: don't get that second chance. Because I've got that here

750
00:35:23,601 --> 00:35:26,241
Speaker 1: right now, and that's all we do have, right That's

751
00:35:26,241 --> 00:35:28,001
Speaker 1: what we've got to lean in on. That's been the

752
00:35:28,001 --> 00:35:29,961
Speaker 1: biggest thing that's helped me through all of this is

753
00:35:30,041 --> 00:35:32,641
Speaker 1: lean on gratitude any hard time that you go through.

754
00:35:32,681 --> 00:35:35,081
Speaker 1: I know it's really hard to be grateful for hard

755
00:35:35,121 --> 00:35:37,801
Speaker 1: things that are happening, but you have to. I feel

756
00:35:37,841 --> 00:35:40,921
Speaker 1: like every situation you can definitely find the light, the

757
00:35:40,921 --> 00:35:43,401
Speaker 1: silver lining, and the gift That's been my biggest like

758
00:35:43,801 --> 00:35:46,241
Speaker 1: flex over the last ten years is I'm really really

759
00:35:46,241 --> 00:35:48,481
Speaker 1: good at that and that gets me through really really

760
00:35:48,561 --> 00:35:51,161
Speaker 1: hard times. And that's a skill that I really want

761
00:35:51,201 --> 00:35:54,561
Speaker 1: to pass on to my kids because it's so powerful

762
00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:57,281
Speaker 1: and it will get you through the scariest and hardest

763
00:35:57,321 --> 00:36:00,761
Speaker 1: times of your life, really does. So my surgery is

764
00:36:00,761 --> 00:36:04,961
Speaker 1: booked in for the start of July, and I mean

765
00:36:05,241 --> 00:36:07,481
Speaker 1: hospital just for three days. So the first night I

766
00:36:07,561 --> 00:36:08,681
Speaker 1: go in and they have to load me up on

767
00:36:08,721 --> 00:36:10,841
Speaker 1: blood thinners to prevent a clot, and then I go

768
00:36:10,841 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: into surgery the next morning and then I'm in ice

769
00:36:13,001 --> 00:36:15,441
Speaker 1: you for twenty four hours, be monitored by a nurse

770
00:36:15,601 --> 00:36:17,361
Speaker 1: like I get my solo nurse who looks after me.

771
00:36:17,601 --> 00:36:19,121
Speaker 1: And then when more night in the ward, and then

772
00:36:19,161 --> 00:36:21,641
Speaker 1: I go home for two weeks bed rest and then

773
00:36:21,801 --> 00:36:24,561
Speaker 1: I'm good. Yeah, and then life goes on and I

774
00:36:24,561 --> 00:36:27,121
Speaker 1: get to start this new chapter. Yeah, how cool? Was that?

775
00:36:27,321 --> 00:36:28,921
Speaker 1: So cool? So cool?

776
00:36:29,201 --> 00:36:32,001
Speaker 3: Something that we didn't chat about is the vision. So

777
00:36:32,041 --> 00:36:34,001
Speaker 3: that's got nothing to do with your aneurysm, the fact

778
00:36:34,041 --> 00:36:35,721
Speaker 3: that you were losing your vision, right.

779
00:36:35,681 --> 00:36:37,121
Speaker 1: Yes, it's got nothing to do with it.

780
00:36:37,201 --> 00:36:38,201
Speaker 3: So do they know what that.

781
00:36:38,401 --> 00:36:41,521
Speaker 1: Well, you know what. The first neuro team that I

782
00:36:41,521 --> 00:36:43,281
Speaker 1: spoke to when I first went in, they said, it's

783
00:36:43,321 --> 00:36:46,081
Speaker 1: got nothing to do with it. The second neurologist that

784
00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: I spoke to, he said, tell me about your loss

785
00:36:48,521 --> 00:36:50,361
Speaker 1: of sight. I was like, oh, they've just put that

786
00:36:50,401 --> 00:36:52,961
Speaker 1: down to stress and exhaustion, and he rolled his eyes.

787
00:36:53,681 --> 00:36:56,441
Speaker 1: So I feel like the doctors you get different opinions.

788
00:36:56,761 --> 00:36:59,201
Speaker 1: The third one that I went to to actually book

789
00:36:59,201 --> 00:37:01,601
Speaker 1: my surgery and ask the million questions that I didn't

790
00:37:01,721 --> 00:37:04,361
Speaker 1: have the capacity to when he first told me, that's

791
00:37:04,361 --> 00:37:06,961
Speaker 1: my actual so that is doing my surgery. And she's

792
00:37:06,961 --> 00:37:09,801
Speaker 1: a female and I asked her that and she said, no,

793
00:37:10,321 --> 00:37:13,321
Speaker 1: it's not related to your site. The position of where

794
00:37:13,321 --> 00:37:16,201
Speaker 1: it is is behind your right eye, but it doesn't

795
00:37:16,201 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 1: block off your vision and if it did, it would

796
00:37:18,521 --> 00:37:22,641
Speaker 1: have completely blocked it out for good. So she doesn't

797
00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:27,041
Speaker 1: think it is okay. And since I found out about

798
00:37:27,041 --> 00:37:30,201
Speaker 1: this aneurysm, I have tried to slow down as much

799
00:37:30,241 --> 00:37:32,361
Speaker 1: as I can. I've still got a lot of responsibilities.

800
00:37:32,401 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: But I went to the Eden Retreat, which we're gonna

801
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:38,161
Speaker 1: do a whole episode on because life changing, life changing,

802
00:37:38,281 --> 00:37:41,481
Speaker 1: Holy fuck, everyone needs to go there. And just the

803
00:37:41,521 --> 00:37:43,841
Speaker 1: timing for me, this is the timing, Like I just

804
00:37:44,681 --> 00:37:46,881
Speaker 1: I feel like it gives me goosebumps. But the universe

805
00:37:47,081 --> 00:37:49,481
Speaker 1: really has my back because the timing of that when

806
00:37:49,521 --> 00:37:51,681
Speaker 1: I found out that week, it was that week I

807
00:37:51,681 --> 00:37:53,241
Speaker 1: found out I had to have surgery on the Monday,

808
00:37:53,281 --> 00:37:55,161
Speaker 1: and we were leaving on the Thursday. The miss call

809
00:37:55,241 --> 00:37:56,561
Speaker 1: when we were that's.

810
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:59,601
Speaker 3: Right, and you look at the surgery Monday, Yeah, that's right.

811
00:37:59,641 --> 00:38:01,081
Speaker 1: On the Friday. I was like, no, I'll call it

812
00:38:01,121 --> 00:38:04,321
Speaker 1: back on Monday. But like that timing was so beautiful.

813
00:38:05,121 --> 00:38:07,601
Speaker 1: Since the loss of sight in that week, I haven't

814
00:38:07,641 --> 00:38:10,761
Speaker 1: had it since, So I do think they're right. I

815
00:38:10,761 --> 00:38:12,441
Speaker 1: do think it was due to stress. It was a

816
00:38:12,481 --> 00:38:14,681
Speaker 1: type of migraine of some sort that I didn't get

817
00:38:14,721 --> 00:38:18,561
Speaker 1: a headache with. I didn't know this migraine, yeah, or

818
00:38:18,881 --> 00:38:22,001
Speaker 1: like that. I know, it's really scary, especially when you're driving.

819
00:38:22,081 --> 00:38:24,921
Speaker 1: Twice when I was driving, yeah, that's full on. I

820
00:38:24,921 --> 00:38:27,161
Speaker 1: don't know about anyone else, but I straight away went like,

821
00:38:27,201 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I've got cancer. That was my initials. Yeah.

822
00:38:30,481 --> 00:38:34,521
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about an anneurism when my grand died.

823
00:38:34,601 --> 00:38:37,161
Speaker 1: Because there's my grand who had three boys, once my

824
00:38:37,241 --> 00:38:39,921
Speaker 1: father who I don't talk to, I don't know, and

825
00:38:39,921 --> 00:38:41,761
Speaker 1: the other two my uncles. I had relationships with. My

826
00:38:41,801 --> 00:38:44,481
Speaker 1: other uncles. So one of them died from aneurism and

827
00:38:44,561 --> 00:38:47,041
Speaker 1: their mum died, my grd And when they died, my

828
00:38:47,161 --> 00:38:49,401
Speaker 1: uncle Craig had said to me, you need to go

829
00:38:49,441 --> 00:38:51,321
Speaker 1: and to get checked because this is in our family.

830
00:38:51,721 --> 00:38:54,641
Speaker 1: And I remember reading this email of him being like,

831
00:38:54,921 --> 00:38:56,721
Speaker 1: obviously so sad that they've passed and went to the

832
00:38:56,761 --> 00:38:59,241
Speaker 1: funerals and you know all that stuff. I'd never once

833
00:38:59,321 --> 00:39:03,201
Speaker 1: considered to go and get checked. Why why did I

834
00:39:03,241 --> 00:39:05,001
Speaker 1: not go and get checked? We think we're in vincil

835
00:39:05,201 --> 00:39:07,321
Speaker 1: sometimes I think so. I just I thought it was

836
00:39:07,401 --> 00:39:09,601
Speaker 1: age related, but a lot of us are actually born

837
00:39:09,641 --> 00:39:12,681
Speaker 1: with aneurysms. I thought, I'm young, I'm healthy, I would

838
00:39:12,721 --> 00:39:15,601
Speaker 1: never have aneurism. Like and now I'm messaging my brother

839
00:39:15,721 --> 00:39:18,321
Speaker 1: because we've got the same father. I'm saying you need

840
00:39:18,321 --> 00:39:19,881
Speaker 1: to go and get a MRI. And I know he's

841
00:39:19,881 --> 00:39:22,001
Speaker 1: not going to. I bet you he won't. And I

842
00:39:22,041 --> 00:39:23,601
Speaker 1: messaged him the other day and I was like, hey,

843
00:39:24,041 --> 00:39:26,721
Speaker 1: have you booked MRI's Like, life's so busy, life so crazy.

844
00:39:26,761 --> 00:39:29,241
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, but this is the thing

845
00:39:29,281 --> 00:39:32,001
Speaker 1: that could wipe out your life if he have run.

846
00:39:32,481 --> 00:39:34,681
Speaker 3: Like once you go like you don't know what's going

847
00:39:34,761 --> 00:39:36,441
Speaker 3: to happen, and it's scary.

848
00:39:36,921 --> 00:39:39,441
Speaker 1: I'm like, don't just think that, yeah, you're invincible. You

849
00:39:39,521 --> 00:39:42,761
Speaker 1: might not have one. We all have one. Very likely

850
00:39:42,841 --> 00:39:45,441
Speaker 1: you'll have one. And then there's this whole a of

851
00:39:45,481 --> 00:39:47,801
Speaker 1: now like, holy shit, Steve's had one, I've had one.

852
00:39:47,961 --> 00:39:49,081
Speaker 1: We have to get our kids checked.

853
00:39:49,241 --> 00:39:51,641
Speaker 3: Yeah, what age do you start doing that?

854
00:39:52,161 --> 00:39:55,761
Speaker 1: You can be born with them so soon? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

855
00:39:56,201 --> 00:39:58,641
Speaker 1: I've spoken to Taj about it, because obviously I've talked

856
00:39:58,641 --> 00:40:01,001
Speaker 1: really openly with him and he knows everything that's going on,

857
00:40:01,641 --> 00:40:03,961
Speaker 1: and I told him the machine. I went interview for

858
00:40:04,001 --> 00:40:06,881
Speaker 1: the MRI and he just freaked out. I was like, oh,

859
00:40:06,881 --> 00:40:08,641
Speaker 1: I can't go on that. I'm really scared. So I

860
00:40:08,681 --> 00:40:11,321
Speaker 1: feel like I'm just going to keep easy and having

861
00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:13,841
Speaker 1: these conversations with him and trying to word it in

862
00:40:13,881 --> 00:40:17,201
Speaker 1: different ways that will make him feel safer. I remember

863
00:40:17,241 --> 00:40:19,921
Speaker 1: going into an MRI Petrifik because I'm quite claustrophobic, but

864
00:40:19,961 --> 00:40:23,601
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, Ash, I love having conversations with myself.

865
00:40:23,761 --> 00:40:25,721
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is the only thing you need to do.

866
00:40:26,441 --> 00:40:29,161
Speaker 1: You're fine, You're not. I remember saying to myself, you're

867
00:40:29,201 --> 00:40:32,121
Speaker 1: not going in for brain surgery. You're lucky. I was like,

868
00:40:32,161 --> 00:40:34,521
Speaker 1: you're not going from brain surgery, You're not in hospital

869
00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:37,161
Speaker 1: getting chemotherapy. You have your whole life ahead if you

870
00:40:37,241 --> 00:40:39,121
Speaker 1: if you have to lay here for twenty eight minutes

871
00:40:39,161 --> 00:40:42,401
Speaker 1: on your back being still, you got this, and I did.

872
00:40:42,561 --> 00:40:44,361
Speaker 1: It's a long time for a kid, hey, but for

873
00:40:44,401 --> 00:40:46,641
Speaker 1: a kid, they don't they don't know how to process

874
00:40:46,681 --> 00:40:50,081
Speaker 1: like that. Their brain isn't developed like that. So yes,

875
00:40:50,121 --> 00:40:53,041
Speaker 1: we definitely will get him checked. But both of us,

876
00:40:53,081 --> 00:40:54,961
Speaker 1: like Steve's like, I cannot believe you have one, like

877
00:40:55,001 --> 00:40:58,441
Speaker 1: after everything I've been through. So Steve's was crazy. He

878
00:40:58,481 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: doesn't have sight in the corner of his left eye,

879
00:41:01,521 --> 00:41:03,521
Speaker 1: but that's an amazing result. But when he worked up

880
00:41:03,521 --> 00:41:05,201
Speaker 1: from a surgery, he was kind of in a coma

881
00:41:05,601 --> 00:41:08,121
Speaker 1: and he didn't have sight for six weeks, so they

882
00:41:08,161 --> 00:41:10,001
Speaker 1: didn't know if he was going to lose his sight.

883
00:41:10,081 --> 00:41:12,441
Speaker 1: So every day he'd wake up and like couldn't see.

884
00:41:12,801 --> 00:41:15,841
Speaker 1: Every day he's waking up praying his site comes back,

885
00:41:15,961 --> 00:41:18,321
Speaker 1: not knowing if it's going to. Should see his scar.

886
00:41:18,441 --> 00:41:20,641
Speaker 1: It's literally from like the top of his skull right

887
00:41:20,681 --> 00:41:22,841
Speaker 1: down the back. They'd take his skull off and like

888
00:41:22,881 --> 00:41:24,761
Speaker 1: it was such a what I mean, such a basive,

889
00:41:25,321 --> 00:41:28,681
Speaker 1: such an invasive, complex surgery, like a ton of aneuism's

890
00:41:28,761 --> 00:41:31,121
Speaker 1: all tied into one, Like mine's just one that's nearly

891
00:41:31,161 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 1: five millimeters. So that's the thing too. The Neurositchon said

892
00:41:34,481 --> 00:41:36,641
Speaker 1: to me, once you're at five millimeters, they want to operate.

893
00:41:36,721 --> 00:41:40,121
Speaker 1: Mine's four point seven, so it's nearly there. But she's like,

894
00:41:40,161 --> 00:41:42,241
Speaker 1: whyld we risk it? It's so close to being at

895
00:41:42,241 --> 00:41:44,201
Speaker 1: a size. And she's like, you're so young, You've got

896
00:41:44,201 --> 00:41:48,001
Speaker 1: two kids. This is like a preventative almost. They could

897
00:41:48,001 --> 00:41:50,041
Speaker 1: be silly, not too. But I had a couple of

898
00:41:50,281 --> 00:41:53,441
Speaker 1: just to end this on a lighter note, a couple

899
00:41:53,481 --> 00:41:55,281
Speaker 1: of just things that I wrote down that have really

900
00:41:55,361 --> 00:41:58,041
Speaker 1: kind of helped me process this and get through this.

901
00:41:59,081 --> 00:42:00,561
Speaker 1: And I want to remind you all that it's really

902
00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:03,321
Speaker 1: important that you meet yourself where you're at right now,

903
00:42:03,601 --> 00:42:06,761
Speaker 1: because I think so much of ash binds I've been

904
00:42:06,881 --> 00:42:09,921
Speaker 1: living in from who I was five years ago and

905
00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:12,481
Speaker 1: who I was ten years ago with fitness and with

906
00:42:12,521 --> 00:42:15,201
Speaker 1: business and being on social media and just being this identity.

907
00:42:15,681 --> 00:42:19,841
Speaker 1: I'm always authentic and I share very honestly, but there's

908
00:42:19,881 --> 00:42:23,801
Speaker 1: definitely parts of myself that I've just made my identity.

909
00:42:24,361 --> 00:42:28,401
Speaker 1: I've changed and evolved and rebirthed so many times that

910
00:42:28,481 --> 00:42:31,121
Speaker 1: Ashi winds five years ago, like I don't even recognize

911
00:42:31,121 --> 00:42:34,201
Speaker 1: her anymore. So meet yourself where you are at right now.

912
00:42:34,241 --> 00:42:36,761
Speaker 1: And That's what I'm doing. I'm meeting myself where I'm at.

913
00:42:36,841 --> 00:42:40,601
Speaker 1: It's a whole new chapter, new ashy that I'm still

914
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,641
Speaker 1: getting to know as well. If you ask who I

915
00:42:42,681 --> 00:42:47,761
Speaker 1: am underneath all those labels and achievements and titles, I

916
00:42:47,801 --> 00:42:50,241
Speaker 1: probably couldn't give you a clear ancey yet if you

917
00:42:50,281 --> 00:42:52,681
Speaker 1: ask yourself that being interesting thing to journalong like do

918
00:42:52,681 --> 00:42:54,041
Speaker 1: you know who you are when you take off your

919
00:42:54,081 --> 00:42:56,721
Speaker 1: mum hat? Your business hat? Or your success? Is your achievements,

920
00:42:56,761 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: your things that people praise you on, Like who are

921
00:42:58,481 --> 00:43:01,001
Speaker 1: you at your core? A lot of people can't answer that.

922
00:43:01,441 --> 00:43:03,801
Speaker 1: It's really important, we know that. So meet yourself where

923
00:43:03,801 --> 00:43:08,961
Speaker 1: you're at right now. Fully own your truth, like exactly

924
00:43:09,441 --> 00:43:11,921
Speaker 1: who you are, like no one can argue with you

925
00:43:12,121 --> 00:43:16,241
Speaker 1: or criticize or change your narrative to your truth. They can't.

926
00:43:16,521 --> 00:43:19,921
Speaker 1: It's your truth. And people can make up their own

927
00:43:19,921 --> 00:43:22,001
Speaker 1: assumptions as to where you're at or what you should

928
00:43:22,041 --> 00:43:24,721
Speaker 1: be doing with your life because that's their projections and

929
00:43:24,761 --> 00:43:27,641
Speaker 1: their truth and what they think is right. But you

930
00:43:27,721 --> 00:43:29,681
Speaker 1: know your truth even if someone's like I don't know

931
00:43:29,721 --> 00:43:31,641
Speaker 1: what to do with this, like your heart and your head. No,

932
00:43:32,281 --> 00:43:35,441
Speaker 1: you know, when you create the space to reflect and

933
00:43:35,561 --> 00:43:38,281
Speaker 1: journal or just like be with yourself, the answers are

934
00:43:38,281 --> 00:43:40,761
Speaker 1: all within you. But most of the time we just

935
00:43:40,841 --> 00:43:42,961
Speaker 1: keep parking it to the side because we're so busy.

936
00:43:43,361 --> 00:43:45,721
Speaker 1: We've got so much to do and everyone needs us.

937
00:43:46,121 --> 00:43:47,601
Speaker 1: And that's why being in hospital, I feel like that

938
00:43:47,641 --> 00:43:49,201
Speaker 1: was the biggest gift of having forty eight hours in

939
00:43:49,241 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: hospital to myself. I had that space to think about

940
00:43:52,041 --> 00:43:54,121
Speaker 1: all of this, and then go to Eden, I got

941
00:43:54,161 --> 00:43:57,881
Speaker 1: more space to just think about it, and that's really

942
00:43:57,881 --> 00:43:59,721
Speaker 1: helped me be able to come to these decisions and

943
00:43:59,761 --> 00:44:02,881
Speaker 1: just know they're so right. Like nothing anyone could say

944
00:44:02,921 --> 00:44:05,761
Speaker 1: could tell me that I'm making the wrong decision, which

945
00:44:05,801 --> 00:44:09,001
Speaker 1: is so cool. You're so the decision yeah, and so

946
00:44:09,161 --> 00:44:12,801
Speaker 1: powerful and so empowered, and that's really cool energy to

947
00:44:12,841 --> 00:44:16,321
Speaker 1: be in. With everything that's going on, I want you

948
00:44:16,401 --> 00:44:21,081
Speaker 1: to all give yourself permission to begin again, give yourself

949
00:44:21,121 --> 00:44:24,921
Speaker 1: permission to change your mind, give yourself permission to be

950
00:44:25,001 --> 00:44:27,241
Speaker 1: the beginner, Like why do we always have to know

951
00:44:27,281 --> 00:44:30,161
Speaker 1: it at all? Or be afraid to start something new

952
00:44:30,361 --> 00:44:34,401
Speaker 1: and be starting something fresh that's actually really exciting. Give

953
00:44:34,401 --> 00:44:36,761
Speaker 1: yourself permission to do it. I think it's so scary

954
00:44:36,801 --> 00:44:39,761
Speaker 1: to change your mind. Like maybe you're in a relationship

955
00:44:39,841 --> 00:44:42,721
Speaker 1: or a marriage or a friendship, or a job or

956
00:44:42,801 --> 00:44:46,081
Speaker 1: a career or a business, and it's so scary to

957
00:44:46,161 --> 00:44:48,921
Speaker 1: change your mind. But give yourself permission to do that.

958
00:44:48,921 --> 00:44:51,081
Speaker 1: That's part of life. Yeah, And I feel like in

959
00:44:51,121 --> 00:44:53,241
Speaker 1: business about you, but say if you know someone and

960
00:44:53,281 --> 00:44:55,681
Speaker 1: they decide to change jobs, it's so celebrated, it's like,

961
00:44:55,681 --> 00:44:59,201
Speaker 1: will go you, that's awesome. But if you change your business,

962
00:44:59,561 --> 00:45:02,201
Speaker 1: I feel like people don't accept it as much. Yeah,

963
00:45:02,321 --> 00:45:04,841
Speaker 1: I find that really interesting, And is that why I'm

964
00:45:04,841 --> 00:45:06,201
Speaker 1: not a a lot of people are talking about it

965
00:45:06,281 --> 00:45:08,281
Speaker 1: or they carry so much shame when they decide that

966
00:45:08,321 --> 00:45:10,321
Speaker 1: it's not for them because it's not spoken about on

967
00:45:10,401 --> 00:45:13,641
Speaker 1: social media. No, it's not there really isn't even me

968
00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:16,681
Speaker 1: talking to friends and family about this. There's been so

969
00:45:16,721 --> 00:45:18,401
Speaker 1: many other stories that have come out and been like, oh, yeah,

970
00:45:18,401 --> 00:45:19,841
Speaker 1: well I used to do this and I didn't like it,

971
00:45:19,841 --> 00:45:21,681
Speaker 1: so I closed it down and started this. But the

972
00:45:21,681 --> 00:45:23,401
Speaker 1: way they say it, it's like, oh, I a bit shameful,

973
00:45:23,401 --> 00:45:25,801
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's cool. Yeah, that's really cool that

974
00:45:25,841 --> 00:45:28,081
Speaker 1: you did that much. If you kept going, how miserable

975
00:45:28,161 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: you'd be so true. So give yourself permission to change

976
00:45:30,961 --> 00:45:33,241
Speaker 1: your mind and try something new, be a beginner, and

977
00:45:33,281 --> 00:45:35,481
Speaker 1: just honor what you want to do. You're allowed to.

978
00:45:35,521 --> 00:45:38,201
Speaker 1: It's your life. I think sometimes we lose our power

979
00:45:38,241 --> 00:45:40,721
Speaker 1: and thinking that we can't or that we're stuck, and

980
00:45:40,761 --> 00:45:43,281
Speaker 1: we're not stuck. It's just scary and uncomfortable.

981
00:45:43,401 --> 00:45:47,401
Speaker 3: Scary, uncomfortable and also like you to do this, especially

982
00:45:47,401 --> 00:45:48,761
Speaker 3: publicly in the way you're doing it.

983
00:45:48,761 --> 00:45:51,921
Speaker 1: And it's really letting go of your ego. Yeah, it's going,

984
00:45:52,121 --> 00:45:52,641
Speaker 1: it's going.

985
00:45:52,801 --> 00:45:55,841
Speaker 3: I'm doing this no matter how uncomfortable or what anyone

986
00:45:55,841 --> 00:45:56,321
Speaker 3: else thinks.

987
00:45:56,401 --> 00:45:59,721
Speaker 1: I'm choosing me one hundred percent. You're right, there's a

988
00:45:59,721 --> 00:46:01,961
Speaker 1: lot of ego that comes into this, and that also

989
00:46:02,001 --> 00:46:06,081
Speaker 1: feels so empowering to be like good And you know what,

990
00:46:06,161 --> 00:46:09,281
Speaker 1: speaking of the ego, I remember when we had our

991
00:46:09,601 --> 00:46:12,921
Speaker 1: Transformation center. We had it for five years and Steven

992
00:46:12,961 --> 00:46:14,681
Speaker 1: Leeve I were ready to close it down. You don't

993
00:46:14,681 --> 00:46:16,361
Speaker 1: stop me from closing it down even though I was

994
00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:19,241
Speaker 1: ready to my ego hmm. No, I don't want to

995
00:46:19,241 --> 00:46:20,961
Speaker 1: be looked at as a failure. I don't want to

996
00:46:20,961 --> 00:46:22,361
Speaker 1: have to explain people. I don't want to have to

997
00:46:22,361 --> 00:46:25,521
Speaker 1: announce this to everyone. No, Like my ego kept us

998
00:46:25,561 --> 00:46:28,561
Speaker 1: going for another two years and for what Yeah, none

999
00:46:28,601 --> 00:46:30,521
Speaker 1: of us were enjoying it. Scary.

1000
00:46:30,561 --> 00:46:32,921
Speaker 3: And the more you're creating a safe home within yourself,

1001
00:46:33,281 --> 00:46:35,761
Speaker 3: the more you're feeling like you're safe, You've got yourself.

1002
00:46:35,801 --> 00:46:37,801
Speaker 1: So the more you're probably feeling like, Okay, that's fine.

1003
00:46:37,841 --> 00:46:39,801
Speaker 3: If two seasons done, I do, You've got me.

1004
00:46:40,081 --> 00:46:41,681
Speaker 1: That's the coolest thing. That's what I mean. Like, no

1005
00:46:41,721 --> 00:46:44,241
Speaker 1: matter what anyone says, it can't shake me because this

1006
00:46:44,361 --> 00:46:46,881
Speaker 1: is just my life and my decision and what feels

1007
00:46:46,921 --> 00:46:48,841
Speaker 1: right for me. I just want to talk about this

1008
00:46:48,881 --> 00:46:50,601
Speaker 1: because I just want everyone else to be able to

1009
00:46:50,601 --> 00:46:52,961
Speaker 1: feel like this if they're going through those same feelings.

1010
00:46:53,481 --> 00:46:55,721
Speaker 1: Like we all come to so many crossroads in our life. Hey,

1011
00:46:55,761 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: and it's so scary to am I going to go left?

1012
00:46:57,961 --> 00:46:59,881
Speaker 1: And we know right? So I keep going on this path,

1013
00:46:59,921 --> 00:47:03,001
Speaker 1: even doesn't feel right, but it's safe. Yeah, And when

1014
00:47:03,041 --> 00:47:06,601
Speaker 1: you expand and you grow and you unpack, there's that

1015
00:47:06,641 --> 00:47:08,881
Speaker 1: little voice in you that's like, oh, just stay there,

1016
00:47:08,961 --> 00:47:11,281
Speaker 1: just stay safe. That's what you've always done. That's what

1017
00:47:11,361 --> 00:47:13,481
Speaker 1: you've got to remain. Don't go out there. That's too scary.

1018
00:47:13,921 --> 00:47:14,841
Speaker 1: You might not be able to do that.

1019
00:47:14,921 --> 00:47:16,401
Speaker 3: You're in a child. You need to look after you.

1020
00:47:16,481 --> 00:47:19,201
Speaker 1: Yeah, protect yourself. Well, I will think what we will say.

1021
00:47:19,281 --> 00:47:21,601
Speaker 1: Who you are upset? Do stay there, stay there safe.

1022
00:47:21,721 --> 00:47:24,281
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that anymore. No, this one life that

1023
00:47:24,281 --> 00:47:26,841
Speaker 1: we get to live. How cool when we're eighty and

1024
00:47:26,881 --> 00:47:30,041
Speaker 1: on our deathbed. Hopefully I'm one hundred on my deathbed

1025
00:47:30,041 --> 00:47:32,281
Speaker 1: to be that old woman still jam and love and life.

1026
00:47:32,481 --> 00:47:33,801
Speaker 1: I want to look back and be able to tell

1027
00:47:33,801 --> 00:47:36,641
Speaker 1: my great grandkids like, oh, like I did this, and

1028
00:47:36,721 --> 00:47:38,361
Speaker 1: I did this, and I tried this, and this is

1029
00:47:38,401 --> 00:47:40,401
Speaker 1: really cool and this led me to this rather than

1030
00:47:40,481 --> 00:47:42,561
Speaker 1: just being like, oh, I was this my whole life.

1031
00:47:42,601 --> 00:47:44,081
Speaker 3: I really enjoyed it for five years and then I

1032
00:47:44,481 --> 00:47:45,841
Speaker 3: hated it for the next twenty five.

1033
00:47:46,001 --> 00:47:48,041
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And I never tried anything else, Bob, because

1034
00:47:48,041 --> 00:47:50,121
Speaker 1: I was scared of what people thought of me. Yeah, no,

1035
00:47:50,281 --> 00:47:53,161
Speaker 1: thank you. No. Scared of who too when we think

1036
00:47:53,161 --> 00:47:57,121
Speaker 1: about it, Scared of who Yeah, so true silly solely

1037
00:47:57,201 --> 00:48:01,601
Speaker 1: Underscore ninety three at hotmail dot com. Scared of No, Yeah,

1038
00:48:01,641 --> 00:48:03,641
Speaker 1: I'm not scared of them. You're not scared of them. No,

1039
00:48:03,721 --> 00:48:06,601
Speaker 1: anyone listening. You're not scared of them, even your family

1040
00:48:06,641 --> 00:48:08,761
Speaker 1: and friends, Like, are you literally going to keep living

1041
00:48:08,761 --> 00:48:12,081
Speaker 1: your life for them? For what they perceive is being

1042
00:48:12,561 --> 00:48:15,601
Speaker 1: right in your life? In your life? How do they know?

1043
00:48:16,441 --> 00:48:19,281
Speaker 1: They don't know anything? They think they do, but they

1044
00:48:19,281 --> 00:48:24,241
Speaker 1: don't your life And I love your low It's so true,

1045
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:26,561
Speaker 1: you really do. It's one life, Like how are you

1046
00:48:26,561 --> 00:48:27,921
Speaker 1: going to live it? And how are you going to

1047
00:48:27,961 --> 00:48:30,361
Speaker 1: look back? What are you going to regret the opportunity

1048
00:48:30,401 --> 00:48:32,401
Speaker 1: is that you said no to or yes to. It's

1049
00:48:32,401 --> 00:48:34,281
Speaker 1: such a cool conversation. I was so excited to have

1050
00:48:34,321 --> 00:48:36,961
Speaker 1: this conversation because there's been so many lessons and I

1051
00:48:37,001 --> 00:48:39,521
Speaker 1: really hope it makes so many of you. Just stop,

1052
00:48:40,401 --> 00:48:43,241
Speaker 1: give yourself some space, be still, and fully reflect on

1053
00:48:43,281 --> 00:48:45,441
Speaker 1: everything in your life and what's working, what's not, and

1054
00:48:45,481 --> 00:48:47,961
Speaker 1: then take the steps to change, no matter how scary

1055
00:48:48,081 --> 00:48:50,801
Speaker 1: is anyway, feel the fear and do it anyway, because

1056
00:48:50,841 --> 00:48:53,001
Speaker 1: you'll come out the other side. The other side is

1057
00:48:53,001 --> 00:48:55,761
Speaker 1: so much lighter and brighter and more exciting. Yeah, I

1058
00:48:55,761 --> 00:48:58,241
Speaker 1: find the unknown quite exciting. Now. You used to really

1059
00:48:58,241 --> 00:49:00,081
Speaker 1: scare me. I used to be such a certainty person.

1060
00:49:00,481 --> 00:49:03,041
Speaker 1: Now I'm really excited for options might come along. I

1061
00:49:03,041 --> 00:49:05,561
Speaker 1: don't even know how cool. Yeah, I feel like when

1062
00:49:05,561 --> 00:49:08,281
Speaker 1: you close one door as well, so many more open up.

1063
00:49:08,561 --> 00:49:10,201
Speaker 1: But when you've got your door closed. So I had

1064
00:49:10,201 --> 00:49:11,841
Speaker 1: my door closed just to baseline because that was my

1065
00:49:11,881 --> 00:49:14,201
Speaker 1: priority and that was my all. I can't do the

1066
00:49:14,281 --> 00:49:16,921
Speaker 1: other things. So now when I open that up, I

1067
00:49:16,921 --> 00:49:18,321
Speaker 1: feel like all these other doors are going to fly

1068
00:49:18,361 --> 00:49:20,881
Speaker 1: open for me and I get to choose what I

1069
00:49:20,881 --> 00:49:23,481
Speaker 1: want to do, which is really cool. So when you

1070
00:49:23,561 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: choose to make a big change in your life, I'm

1071
00:49:26,241 --> 00:49:30,121
Speaker 1: expecting or assuming that there's going to be a bit

1072
00:49:30,161 --> 00:49:34,321
Speaker 1: of an aftermath. What I mean by that is when

1073
00:49:34,321 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 1: you go through something really big in your life, whether

1074
00:49:36,521 --> 00:49:38,441
Speaker 1: it's a health scare or a change of business or

1075
00:49:38,481 --> 00:49:42,481
Speaker 1: a divorce or something really big happens, your body kind

1076
00:49:42,481 --> 00:49:44,721
Speaker 1: of goes into the survival mode and all this adrenaline

1077
00:49:44,761 --> 00:49:48,121
Speaker 1: to support you through it. And that's amazing. Our body's

1078
00:49:48,161 --> 00:49:50,161
Speaker 1: there to support us, right, But then when the big

1079
00:49:50,161 --> 00:49:52,841
Speaker 1: thing happens and it's done, I think there could be

1080
00:49:52,921 --> 00:49:56,041
Speaker 1: this crash of exhaustion where then your body kind of

1081
00:49:56,081 --> 00:49:59,961
Speaker 1: catches up. And I feel like I've been running in

1082
00:50:00,041 --> 00:50:05,201
Speaker 1: an energy of fight or flight, scarcity and survival for

1083
00:50:05,201 --> 00:50:07,601
Speaker 1: a really long time. There's been a lot of passion

1084
00:50:07,641 --> 00:50:10,681
Speaker 1: and purpose in there as well, and alignment for sure.

1085
00:50:11,081 --> 00:50:13,561
Speaker 1: But when I truly be honest with myself, I think

1086
00:50:13,601 --> 00:50:16,841
Speaker 1: I've been trying to prove to myself and prove to

1087
00:50:16,921 --> 00:50:20,921
Speaker 1: everyone so much. Makes to cry thinking about it because

1088
00:50:20,921 --> 00:50:22,761
Speaker 1: I think of my younger self and I'm like, oh,

1089
00:50:23,241 --> 00:50:25,161
Speaker 1: you've really put yourself through a lot to prove that.

1090
00:50:25,321 --> 00:50:26,761
Speaker 1: But I've really felt like I've had to prove to

1091
00:50:26,761 --> 00:50:30,841
Speaker 1: myself and show myself that I can do it everything

1092
00:50:30,841 --> 00:50:32,441
Speaker 1: that my stepdad told me that I couldn't do. You

1093
00:50:32,481 --> 00:50:34,721
Speaker 1: wouldn't be lovable, you never make anything of yourself, You're

1094
00:50:34,721 --> 00:50:37,001
Speaker 1: too dumb, you never have any money, you know you'll

1095
00:50:37,041 --> 00:50:39,681
Speaker 1: never succeed. All those things. I had to prove it.

1096
00:50:40,161 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: I've proved it to myself, and then I kept having

1097
00:50:41,961 --> 00:50:43,761
Speaker 1: to prove it to everyone else. And that's why when

1098
00:50:43,761 --> 00:50:46,401
Speaker 1: I had that conversation with myself with what success is,

1099
00:50:46,441 --> 00:50:48,441
Speaker 1: and I was like, holy shit, ACTU, You've done all

1100
00:50:48,441 --> 00:50:51,601
Speaker 1: of that. You've proven it to yourself. You've got nothing

1101
00:50:51,601 --> 00:50:54,281
Speaker 1: else to prove. You don't need to prove anything to

1102
00:50:54,321 --> 00:50:57,761
Speaker 1: anyone else anymore. And no one really cares that, you

1103
00:50:57,841 --> 00:50:59,921
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like everyone's living their own life.

1104
00:50:59,921 --> 00:51:01,681
Speaker 1: I don't need to prove anything to anyone, but most

1105
00:51:01,761 --> 00:51:03,961
Speaker 1: of all not to myself. I've ticked all those things off,

1106
00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:06,161
Speaker 1: I've done all those achievements. It's well done, pat on

1107
00:51:06,201 --> 00:51:09,401
Speaker 1: the back, gold staff for me. Awesome. It's just not

1108
00:51:09,481 --> 00:51:13,081
Speaker 1: what really matters. So it's so cool that I feel

1109
00:51:13,121 --> 00:51:16,481
Speaker 1: like I've healed this younger self of just needing to

1110
00:51:16,521 --> 00:51:19,361
Speaker 1: be seen and needing to be proven that she's worthy

1111
00:51:19,401 --> 00:51:22,521
Speaker 1: of having it all. I am, Yeah, I am worthy

1112
00:51:22,561 --> 00:51:24,201
Speaker 1: of it all, definitely are, and I don't need to

1113
00:51:24,241 --> 00:51:25,321
Speaker 1: prove that to anyone anymore.

1114
00:51:25,441 --> 00:51:29,561
Speaker 3: And you're also worthy of enjoying life, yes, ye being

1115
00:51:30,241 --> 00:51:31,561
Speaker 3: rather than doing yes.

1116
00:51:32,081 --> 00:51:36,961
Speaker 1: Being enjoying my life one hundred percent? So for now,

1117
00:51:37,481 --> 00:51:40,001
Speaker 1: what's next? I'm not one hundred percent sure? Grow and

1118
00:51:40,041 --> 00:51:42,281
Speaker 1: glows a huge focus and a huge passion, Like I

1119
00:51:42,361 --> 00:51:45,041
Speaker 1: just love this so much. I'm excited to have been

1120
00:51:45,161 --> 00:51:49,201
Speaker 1: hideaway more. And Steve's just awesome. He's like whatever, you

1121
00:51:49,241 --> 00:51:51,881
Speaker 1: want to do will be amazing. I'm very creative and

1122
00:51:51,921 --> 00:51:55,121
Speaker 1: I love the social media aspect, the marketing, the UGC creations,

1123
00:51:55,121 --> 00:51:58,201
Speaker 1: the video content be a bit more in the product development.

1124
00:51:58,721 --> 00:52:01,801
Speaker 1: We've got some huge wholesaling opportunities that there's some big

1125
00:52:01,801 --> 00:52:03,521
Speaker 1: things coming for a hideaway for especially in this next

1126
00:52:03,561 --> 00:52:07,321
Speaker 1: six months. Once again timing, it's just like so freaking cool.

1127
00:52:07,881 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to be with Tyler a lot more, which

1128
00:52:10,041 --> 00:52:15,321
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for. And yeah, baseline clothing will be

1129
00:52:15,361 --> 00:52:18,121
Speaker 1: no more so when you guys listen to this. We've

1130
00:52:18,241 --> 00:52:21,521
Speaker 1: changed the website up and everything needs to be cleared.

1131
00:52:21,761 --> 00:52:25,041
Speaker 1: Everything is on sale. We want to clear the warehouse

1132
00:52:25,161 --> 00:52:29,041
Speaker 1: and close it off asap. We've got quite a few

1133
00:52:29,041 --> 00:52:31,521
Speaker 1: of our older collections just with leftover stock, so you

1134
00:52:31,601 --> 00:52:33,841
Speaker 1: need some teapact to wear. It's super super cheap. All

1135
00:52:33,881 --> 00:52:36,641
Speaker 1: sports bras are twenty five dollars, all shorts twenty five dollars,

1136
00:52:36,961 --> 00:52:40,921
Speaker 1: leggings are thirty, jumpers are thirty, all accessories are five dollars.

1137
00:52:40,921 --> 00:52:43,161
Speaker 1: Like it's super super cheap and it's incredible quality. It

1138
00:52:43,241 --> 00:52:44,801
Speaker 1: last year for years. You guys can go and shop

1139
00:52:44,801 --> 00:52:47,641
Speaker 1: over there and clear all that out and then it'll

1140
00:52:47,681 --> 00:52:49,761
Speaker 1: be no more. My app will still be up and running,

1141
00:52:49,841 --> 00:52:53,681
Speaker 1: it will be changing, which is exciting for Levi, so

1142
00:52:54,241 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 1: he will be putting it under his branding. We had

1143
00:52:56,481 --> 00:52:58,081
Speaker 1: Levy on our podcast a couple of weeks ago, so

1144
00:52:58,121 --> 00:53:01,001
Speaker 1: he does trauma and toxin therapy. We do workshops together.

1145
00:53:01,081 --> 00:53:04,041
Speaker 1: We're planning a few different retreats next year. But he's

1146
00:53:04,081 --> 00:53:06,241
Speaker 1: going to be taking over the back end of the

1147
00:53:06,281 --> 00:53:08,721
Speaker 1: app and managing that, but it'll be under his branding.

1148
00:53:08,721 --> 00:53:10,041
Speaker 1: So you still be able to access all of my

1149
00:53:10,041 --> 00:53:12,641
Speaker 1: twenty eight day programs. I'll still be your coaching there.

1150
00:53:12,641 --> 00:53:14,361
Speaker 1: I'll still be in the forum. I'll still be supporting

1151
00:53:14,361 --> 00:53:16,041
Speaker 1: women because, as I said, that hasn't changed for me

1152
00:53:16,081 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 1: one bit. That's what I truly love. I even feel

1153
00:53:18,481 --> 00:53:20,361
Speaker 1: like I haven't been able to like show up as

1154
00:53:20,441 --> 00:53:22,121
Speaker 1: much as what I've wanted to be this last couple

1155
00:53:22,161 --> 00:53:24,841
Speaker 1: of months because I feel like I've just lost my

1156
00:53:24,921 --> 00:53:27,201
Speaker 1: sparkle and energy to be able to do that. So

1157
00:53:27,281 --> 00:53:29,401
Speaker 1: that is all still going to be the same, same,

1158
00:53:29,481 --> 00:53:32,081
Speaker 1: but the umbrella and branding will be changing to be

1159
00:53:32,161 --> 00:53:34,961
Speaker 1: more Levi's brand, which is really exciting because I love

1160
00:53:35,001 --> 00:53:37,281
Speaker 1: working with him and I love what we've built together,

1161
00:53:37,801 --> 00:53:40,241
Speaker 1: but he's only expanding and growing and helping more people,

1162
00:53:40,321 --> 00:53:41,441
Speaker 1: so I still get to be a part of all

1163
00:53:41,481 --> 00:53:43,441
Speaker 1: of that. And then I go in for my surgery.

1164
00:53:43,801 --> 00:53:45,681
Speaker 1: Good two and a half, three weeks of recovery, and

1165
00:53:45,721 --> 00:53:47,321
Speaker 1: then I'm off to Barley with my mum.

1166
00:53:47,361 --> 00:53:49,401
Speaker 3: It's nice timing too, it is polite.

1167
00:53:49,881 --> 00:53:52,121
Speaker 1: He's got you back. I couldn't believe we booked these

1168
00:53:52,121 --> 00:53:55,481
Speaker 1: flights before I found out if I'm my brain of Newism, before,

1169
00:53:56,081 --> 00:53:59,801
Speaker 1: the dates couldn't have aligned more perfectly. I've got just

1170
00:53:59,961 --> 00:54:02,201
Speaker 1: enough time and before anyone jumps, I'm allowed to travel.

1171
00:54:02,201 --> 00:54:04,961
Speaker 1: I've already asked. But yeah, the timing of that. When

1172
00:54:04,961 --> 00:54:06,561
Speaker 1: I come back from Bali, I feel like it's my

1173
00:54:06,601 --> 00:54:09,361
Speaker 1: whole new chapter begins. That's what a beautiful way to

1174
00:54:09,361 --> 00:54:11,281
Speaker 1: start it. So that's in an in a nutshell. If

1175
00:54:11,321 --> 00:54:13,241
Speaker 1: you're still here, thank you for listening for this whole

1176
00:54:13,961 --> 00:54:17,401
Speaker 1: hour conversation. It's good. It's our longest podcast we've ever done. Yeah,

1177
00:54:17,521 --> 00:54:18,881
Speaker 1: but there was a lot to say and a lot

1178
00:54:18,881 --> 00:54:22,041
Speaker 1: of really valuable lessons, and yeah, it was really easy

1179
00:54:22,161 --> 00:54:24,361
Speaker 1: and hard for me to talk about this. It's quite funerable,

1180
00:54:24,401 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 1: I suppose, so proud of you. Thank you.

1181
00:54:26,841 --> 00:54:30,481
Speaker 3: Obviously, hearing about your aneurysm and stuff like that is

1182
00:54:30,521 --> 00:54:31,321
Speaker 3: scary for me.

1183
00:54:32,081 --> 00:54:34,801
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm going to get rational, you.

1184
00:54:36,441 --> 00:54:39,361
Speaker 3: Know, just making sure that you're okay, Like I just

1185
00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:42,281
Speaker 3: want to make sure you're okay. Yeah, yeah, not even

1186
00:54:42,401 --> 00:54:44,321
Speaker 3: you know, with a surge and everything, but just emotionally,

1187
00:54:44,361 --> 00:54:46,681
Speaker 3: like I just see and I know that you're that

1188
00:54:46,761 --> 00:54:50,041
Speaker 3: like strong friend who can always handle so much and

1189
00:54:51,161 --> 00:54:54,641
Speaker 3: hold so much space for everyone else. But also like

1190
00:54:54,801 --> 00:54:57,041
Speaker 3: sometimes you just need to know that you've got the

1191
00:54:57,081 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 3: support and that you can actually just.

1192
00:54:59,761 --> 00:55:01,801
Speaker 1: Be held as well be held as well. Yeah. I

1193
00:55:01,841 --> 00:55:03,441
Speaker 1: saw something on Instagram the other day and it was

1194
00:55:03,521 --> 00:55:06,281
Speaker 1: like something similar to that, like you're strong, friends still

1195
00:55:06,281 --> 00:55:10,081
Speaker 1: need strength, yeah, and like the organizers for parties still

1196
00:55:10,161 --> 00:55:12,001
Speaker 1: like to be surprised and like things like that. It's

1197
00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:15,801
Speaker 1: so true, and I've really leant into that support throughout

1198
00:55:15,881 --> 00:55:19,481
Speaker 1: this I feel like this is my time that I

1199
00:55:19,521 --> 00:55:22,001
Speaker 1: do need to be held. It's been such a huge

1200
00:55:22,561 --> 00:55:25,561
Speaker 1: couple of months, but especially the last month, and it's

1201
00:55:25,561 --> 00:55:28,641
Speaker 1: so nice to be held. It's like it's almost the

1202
00:55:28,721 --> 00:55:31,441
Speaker 1: Universes said, here's the right path for you. I'm like

1203
00:55:31,481 --> 00:55:33,041
Speaker 1: holding my hand out in front of me, like here's

1204
00:55:33,041 --> 00:55:35,561
Speaker 1: the right path for you. Do you choose to follow?

1205
00:55:36,521 --> 00:55:39,201
Speaker 1: And I've chosen yes. And that's why it's been so flowy.

1206
00:55:39,521 --> 00:55:41,721
Speaker 1: I had these moments I'm like, it can't be this flowy,

1207
00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:44,481
Speaker 1: Like it can't be this like not easy in the

1208
00:55:44,561 --> 00:55:47,161
Speaker 1: sense like this has been hard. But every step, it's

1209
00:55:47,201 --> 00:55:50,921
Speaker 1: just the timing of it, it's been so perfect. Supported you. Yeah,

1210
00:55:50,921 --> 00:55:53,601
Speaker 1: but I have these moments of like, something's got to

1211
00:55:53,641 --> 00:55:56,001
Speaker 1: go wrong, like this can't feel like this, but it

1212
00:55:56,041 --> 00:55:57,561
Speaker 1: does and it does get to be like that, and

1213
00:55:57,561 --> 00:55:59,761
Speaker 1: I'm choosing for it to be like that. Yeah, So

1214
00:55:59,841 --> 00:56:03,361
Speaker 1: it's really cool. So yeah, if you guys, so any

1215
00:56:03,441 --> 00:56:07,041
Speaker 1: questions you guys have regarding surgery, your baseline, where my

1216
00:56:07,081 --> 00:56:10,321
Speaker 1: thoughts at, anything like that, pop it in our forum.

1217
00:56:10,321 --> 00:56:12,281
Speaker 1: I'll do a questions box on Instagram as well maybe

1218
00:56:12,801 --> 00:56:15,081
Speaker 1: and we'll cover that next time. So thank you so

1219
00:56:15,161 --> 00:56:18,481
Speaker 1: much for listening. And I just really appreciate all of

1220
00:56:18,521 --> 00:56:22,081
Speaker 1: my community that's been there through not only this passpeit

1221
00:56:22,121 --> 00:56:25,561
Speaker 1: with my brain surgery, but supporting baseline, like choosing to

1222
00:56:25,601 --> 00:56:28,241
Speaker 1: be a part of my brand and my community and

1223
00:56:28,281 --> 00:56:31,801
Speaker 1: what I've put so much time, energy, money into wearing

1224
00:56:31,801 --> 00:56:34,081
Speaker 1: it so proudly like seeing me in the street and

1225
00:56:34,161 --> 00:56:37,161
Speaker 1: being like, oh, Baseline, tagging me on Instagram, sending me

1226
00:56:37,201 --> 00:56:39,721
Speaker 1: a DM of like how the clothes make you feel?

1227
00:56:40,121 --> 00:56:42,841
Speaker 1: It never gets old, and there's not a day goes

1228
00:56:42,881 --> 00:56:45,721
Speaker 1: by that I don't like pinch myself with gratitude of

1229
00:56:45,761 --> 00:56:48,241
Speaker 1: how lucky I am to have this support system and

1230
00:56:48,281 --> 00:56:50,401
Speaker 1: to have this community of literally some if you've been

1231
00:56:50,401 --> 00:56:54,641
Speaker 1: here since the last like fifteen years, that's unreal, that's amazing,

1232
00:56:54,761 --> 00:56:57,161
Speaker 1: that's so cool. When you're still here listening to my story.

1233
00:56:57,561 --> 00:56:59,961
Speaker 1: Oh head in my heart's so so grateful, So thank

1234
00:57:00,001 --> 00:57:02,881
Speaker 1: you for listening, thank you for being here, and let's

1235
00:57:02,961 --> 00:57:05,161
Speaker 1: get excited to get to know this new version of

1236
00:57:05,201 --> 00:57:07,961
Speaker 1: actually the new chapter. I'm so excited. Thank you, I

1237
00:57:08,001 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: love you, I love you. We'll see you guys next time.

1238
00:57:10,561 --> 00:57:12,241
Speaker 1: Bye bye

1239
00:57:15,561 --> 00:57:15,921
Speaker 2: Mhm