Speaker 1: If you're at a point with your health where you
Speaker 1: want answers, answers to your low energy, answers to that
Speaker 1: stubborn weight that won't shift, then I've got the solution
Speaker 1: for you. I've partnered with the most amazing integrative GP
Speaker 1: to bring you Inner Vitality, a brand new online program
Speaker 1: that uses over fifty bio markers to give you an
Speaker 1: accurate picture of your unique biochemistry and any imbalances. Then,
Speaker 1: over eight weeks, we educate you on these markers and
Speaker 1: implement the small but powerful changes needed to restore your
Speaker 1: internal balance. Visit the link in the show notes to
Speaker 1: find out more. This is Healthy Heer with Amelia Phillips
Speaker 1: and welcome to another one of my mini motivation episodes.
Speaker 1: These are shorter, bite sized conversations designed to educate and inspire.
Speaker 2: You and ultimately support you on.
Speaker 1: Your path to better health, both physical and emotional. And
Speaker 1: as a woman, but also as a mum because that
Speaker 1: role is so important to help set up the health
Speaker 1: of our whole family. Healthier happier mon raise, healthier happier kids.
Speaker 1: So good on you for being here. Now today we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about self doubt. We all experience it.
Speaker 1: But some of us experience it more than others, and
Speaker 1: I've had my fair share, that's for sure. Sometimes that
Speaker 1: internal voice can just get so loud it really paralyzes us.
Speaker 1: Now recently I ask business coach Lorraine Murphy how we
Speaker 1: can move past our own self doubt. Lorraine is an
Speaker 1: award winning entrepreneur, a best selling author, speaker, mentor.
Speaker 2: And mother.
Speaker 1: She runs online business coaching programs and events, plus her
Speaker 1: weekly podcast, The Lorraine Murphy Show, which I have had
Speaker 1: the pleasure of being on. Lorrain shows us that while
Speaker 1: self doubt is a perfectly normal emotion, there are ways
Speaker 1: we can dial down that inner critic and release that
Speaker 1: paralyzing feeling of self doubt. So take a listen, Lorraine.
Speaker 1: Self doubt. None of us are immune to it, but
Speaker 1: for many of us, it rings very loudly in our mind.
Speaker 1: And I was just chatting with you offline saying that
Speaker 1: I'm going through a bit of a self doubt plague
Speaker 1: at the moment. And I've had it since I was young,
Speaker 1: and I go through these phases where it's just a
Speaker 1: quiet little whisper, and you know, I just ignore it
Speaker 1: to then really rearing its ugly head and almost paralyzing me.
Speaker 2: So I guess for me, it really stops.
Speaker 1: Me thinking big, or if I am thinking big, it
Speaker 1: puts the handbrake on and I feel like I'm wading
Speaker 1: through mud trying to reach my goals. Why does self
Speaker 1: doubt plague some of us more than others?
Speaker 3: So I would actually challenge that.
Speaker 4: I feel like everyone experiences self doubt. I think it's
Speaker 4: how we navigate it, if that makes sense. And but
Speaker 4: I don't want anyone listening to think that if they
Speaker 4: follow someone on Instagram. And because I think so many
Speaker 4: of your listeners Amelia you just sharing that, they're be
Speaker 4: like what but she's like gorgeous and so smart, and
Speaker 4: she's this amazing business and she's got it all sorted.
Speaker 4: I think we can just assume that others don't have
Speaker 4: this problem because they're not getting on Instagram telling us
Speaker 4: about it twenty four to seven.
Speaker 3: So I actually think it's quite universal.
Speaker 4: And I think it's also important to remember that self
Speaker 4: doubt can manifest in many different ways. I see self
Speaker 4: doubt as almost like this umbrella and then hanging off
Speaker 4: that umbrella. You've got imposter syndrome, you've got procrastination, you've
Speaker 4: got creating like distractions for yourself. There's so many different
Speaker 4: ways that it can manifest, and including that sense of inertia,
Speaker 4: like I just feel like I can't it's not even prastination,
Speaker 4: you just can't move forward. So I think it is
Speaker 4: very universal and I think it's also worth exploring. And
Speaker 4: this is something that I experience on my retreats when
Speaker 4: I bring the healers into work with the groups, that
Speaker 4: I bring in the historical reasons for why that self
Speaker 4: doubt is there and how it shows up. It's that
Speaker 4: real deep inner child work that going back to past
Speaker 4: memories and past experiences. And I'm going to say trauma,
Speaker 4: but I don't mean the way that we would think
Speaker 4: of trauma as something really horrific that has happened. No.
Speaker 2: I love this concept of big tea and little tea trauma.
Speaker 3: Oh I haven't heard that.
Speaker 1: Oh you will love this lorrange big tea and little
Speaker 1: tea trauma. So I think we can all understand big
Speaker 1: T trauma for sure, and hopefully you haven't been through
Speaker 1: any big T trauma and I certainly haven't been through
Speaker 1: any big TA trauma. But then you've got little tea trauma,
Speaker 1: which can be neglect. It can be being part of
Speaker 1: a big family and feeling like you weren't heard. It
Speaker 1: can be parents breaking up or in some cases that
Speaker 1: can be big t trauma for people, but it gives
Speaker 1: voice to people like me who I don't feel deserving
Speaker 1: or doing the inner child work because I had a
Speaker 1: pretty glorious upbringing. So yeah, you're welcome. You can take
Speaker 1: that and run away.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 4: I love that I could be, you know, the trauma
Speaker 4: could be. I remember one of my uncles commenting on
Speaker 4: me dancing. I mean, I was younger than ten and
Speaker 4: my uncles are like the most beautiful man in the world,
Speaker 4: and he just commented about something that I was. I
Speaker 4: think he said, she's as stiff as an ironing board
Speaker 4: dancing on the dance floor. And it wasn't mean, it
Speaker 4: was just it was making you know, it was a joke,
Speaker 4: but I internalize that for so many years, I'm so
Speaker 4: self conscious dancing, So yeah, I do. When I do,
Speaker 4: like ecstatic dance and so on a balley, it's so
Speaker 4: incredibly freeing. So I love that you said that little
Speaker 4: tea trauma, but it can really even for those of
Speaker 4: us who feel like, yeah, we've had picture postcard upbringings.
Speaker 4: There's chances that there's something there that might have triggered
Speaker 4: that sense of self doubt. So what I like to
Speaker 4: do with today and stay on top of that is
Speaker 4: doing that deeper healing. But also I see a kinesiologist
Speaker 4: every month, and I think, like you immediately, like you're
Speaker 4: in the public eye, You've got people who are looking
Speaker 4: at you thinking, you know, oh, she's got it easy.
Speaker 4: Everything must be perfect, And it's that chance to I
Speaker 4: kind of see like clearing out my closet. It's like
Speaker 4: a monthly energetic clearing out my closet and just to yeah,
Speaker 4: clear out of mindset, energy, emotional, just to kind of
Speaker 4: reset myself for every month. Because what can happen as
Speaker 4: well is that you can absorb the energy of other people.
Speaker 4: It's partners or clients or friends. And you might go
Speaker 4: for a walk with someone. I know, I've had this
Speaker 4: experience where I think everything's great and then all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, I come back and I've been with someone
Speaker 4: who's going through their own experience and it's almost like you.
Speaker 4: I'm going to say, like you catch their energy and
Speaker 4: where they're at, and it can bring you down if
Speaker 4: you're open to that it can bring you down.
Speaker 3: So I think just doing that monthly.
Speaker 4: Cleanup is really really important for me and helps me
Speaker 4: stay on top of that.
Speaker 1: And just as an interesting side note on kinesiology, I've always,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of been slightly dubious about kinesiology, but
Speaker 1: I'm also very open and curious and so a little
Speaker 1: while ago I went had a kinesiology session. She did
Speaker 1: not put her hands, she did not physically touch me,
Speaker 1: and I was sobbing on the bench and I don't.
Speaker 2: Know where it came from. I walked. I wasn't that bad.
Speaker 2: I came in, I was fine.
Speaker 1: We had a nice chat, said let's see what we do,
Speaker 1: and she was, you know, doing all her bits and pieces,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, there might not be this
Speaker 1: really really solid research behind it like there is for accupunk,
Speaker 1: but bloody hell, whatever she did to me triggered a
Speaker 1: release that had not been ever done before.
Speaker 2: So there you go.
Speaker 4: Wow. I love It's probably my favorite of all the
Speaker 4: alternative therapies.
Speaker 1: It's that you've got a couple of really practical but
Speaker 1: effective ways to help protect us from this paralyzing self doubt.
Speaker 2: I'd love to hear what these.
Speaker 4: Are yeah, I think the key thing we touched on
Speaker 4: a little already it is just that self talk with yourself,
Speaker 4: you know, trying to catch yourself on how this has
Speaker 4: been talked about a lot, but we often talk to
Speaker 4: ourselves in a way that we would never in a
Speaker 4: million years talk to our best friend or our child
Speaker 4: or our partner in that same tone and with that
Speaker 4: particular language.
Speaker 3: So I think it's trying to catch the self.
Speaker 4: Talk when it does happen and create I'd like to
Speaker 4: call it like a pattern interrupt, and a great pattern
Speaker 4: interrupt is a positive affirmation that you can replace it with.
Speaker 4: So rather than saying, you know, I'm never going to
Speaker 4: get the success that I'm going to I want to
Speaker 4: have in my business, just as an example, it's every
Speaker 4: step of my journey is a stepping stone towards greater success.
Speaker 4: That there's so many different affirmations that you can start
Speaker 4: to rewrite that program. Our brains are so plastic, and
Speaker 4: when we can acknowledge that and identify maybe the more
Speaker 4: negative programs that we're running and replace them with positive programs,
Speaker 4: I find that really really helpful. I think it's also
Speaker 4: really really important to have people I call them the
Speaker 4: keepers of the vision around you, so that the people
Speaker 4: that know your goals, know your strengths, know how wonderful
Speaker 4: you are and also how challenging you can.
Speaker 3: Be as well. That there real is.
Speaker 4: But they're the people that when we are having a
Speaker 4: low day, or a low week, or even a low
Speaker 4: moder year, they're the people who can be that keeper
Speaker 4: of the vision and remind you of who you really are.
Speaker 3: And I think that's so.
Speaker 4: Incredibly important because we can be one hundred percent I've
Speaker 4: got this every single day. Everyone's going to have their
Speaker 4: low points for whatever different reason. So I like to
Speaker 4: think about that and I see that as my rol
Speaker 4: with a lot of my mentees and their businesses, I'm
Speaker 4: the keeper of the vision. On the days that they're
Speaker 4: not able to keep the vision, I can keep that
Speaker 4: vision for them.
Speaker 3: And I think it's the very same with self doubt.
Speaker 1: If you're at a point with your health where you
Speaker 1: want answers, answers to your low energy, answers to that
Speaker 1: stubborn weight that won't shift, then I've got the solution
Speaker 1: for you. I have partnered with the most amazing integrative
Speaker 1: GP to bring you inner vitality. It's a brand new
Speaker 1: online program that uses over fifty biomarkers to give you
Speaker 1: an accurate picture of your unique biochemistry and the insufficiencies, deficiencies,
Speaker 1: or out of range markers that might be holding you back.
Speaker 1: We look at all aspects of your health, from your
Speaker 1: metabolic health to hormones, vitamins, minerals, liver, kidney, thyroid function,
Speaker 1: and more. Then over the eight weeks as a group,
Speaker 1: we educate you on these markers and implement the small
Speaker 1: but powerful changes needed to restore your internal balance and
Speaker 1: bring back your vitality. Visit the link in the show
Speaker 1: notes to find out more. Who can that be for us?
Speaker 1: Like thinking about you and your life? Who are your
Speaker 1: keeper of visions around you?
Speaker 4: My husband and I would say probably three best friends
Speaker 4: who I would share that level of detail and vision with.
Speaker 4: And one of them I mentioned too previously. There's a
Speaker 4: particular revenue goal that I'm going towards at the moment.
Speaker 4: And one of my friends I ordered a cocktail with
Speaker 4: her in Bali and it was horrible. It was like
Speaker 4: this bright blue Oh was so disgusting. I said, I
Speaker 4: really don't want to drink this, but I feel like
Speaker 4: I've paid for it. I need to drink it. And
Speaker 4: she was like, well, what would a woman who's doing
Speaker 4: the kind of revenue that you want to do when
Speaker 4: your business do.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, she just wouldn't drink it,
Speaker 3: she'd order another one. And she's like, you order another one?
Speaker 3: Kind of friends, I really okay?
Speaker 1: And I guess with that in mind, it requires sharing.
Speaker 2: It requires you to be very.
Speaker 1: Vulnerable and open, and you know, maybe sharing some of
Speaker 1: these big goals that you have, and if you're someone
Speaker 1: that suffers with self doubt, then even the mere act
Speaker 1: of actually saying those things out loud or shearing them
Speaker 1: with other people is actually a really scary thing to
Speaker 1: do and a really hard thing to do. I wonder
Speaker 1: if just the mere act of peaking those lighthouse people
Speaker 1: and enrolling them in your vision, in your goals, is
Speaker 1: even just the act of doing that.
Speaker 5: Might be a step out of that out of that
Speaker 5: self doubt because I wouldn't share that with everyone, and
Speaker 5: same with you, Emilia, Like we put so much stuff
Speaker 5: out there about our lives and what we're doing and
Speaker 5: so on, but there's that's the kind of that's the
Speaker 5: external layer.
Speaker 4: And it's not to say that anything I ever put
Speaker 4: out there is misleading or not true. I like to
Speaker 4: think everything is very authentic and it's what's actually happening.
Speaker 4: But there's a whole level like three levels deeper five
Speaker 4: le mean seven levels deeper that only a very small
Speaker 4: number of people I would share with.
Speaker 3: And so I think you're right.
Speaker 4: I think it's first of all, knowing the people that
Speaker 4: it's safe to share with, because also so many people
Speaker 4: might have littlety trauma of sharing a big goal and
Speaker 4: someone's laughed at them or told them there's no way
Speaker 4: because they're not educated enough or smart enough or rich
Speaker 4: enough to don't achieve that. So I think it's knowing
Speaker 4: those And even if it's one person, I honestly think
Speaker 4: if you've got one person in your life who can
Speaker 4: be a keeper of your vision, that's you've hit the chapel.
Speaker 4: I think you don't need to have endless people. And
Speaker 4: also there's certain people who I share certain goals with
Speaker 4: that like I would share my health goals, for example,
Speaker 4: with a naturopath with a couple of friends, but then
Speaker 4: there's other friends that I would share business goals with.
Speaker 4: And my accountant knows my business goals for example. Yeah,
Speaker 4: so I think it's just knowing who's appropriate and who
Speaker 4: you feel safe sharing with is really key.
Speaker 3: But I love you made that point.
Speaker 1: Thank you so for a mum listening who can really
Speaker 1: relate to this paralyzed feeling of self doubt and is
Speaker 1: sitting here going through a bit of a funk like
Speaker 1: I have been recently, What's something she can maybe go
Speaker 1: and do today to just help release her self for
Speaker 1: at least step, you know that one or two steps
Speaker 1: in the right direction of releasing this self doubt.
Speaker 4: I think there's probably two things I would recommend, and
Speaker 4: one is kind of more reactive and one is more proactive.
Speaker 4: The reactive one would be, if it's self doubt to
Speaker 4: do with, for example, a business goal, it's to sit
Speaker 4: down and write twenty reasons why it is possible for
Speaker 4: you to hit that business goal. Or you know, if
Speaker 4: it's a relationship, twenty reasons that you deserve that.
Speaker 3: It's just about it. It's that holiday. Our brains are
Speaker 3: plastic and convincing ourselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love this twenty.
Speaker 3: So I love that.
Speaker 4: And then another thing that that's the reactive one, but
Speaker 4: the proactive one, which I have found very very helpful
Speaker 4: over the years, is to have an evidence journal. So
Speaker 4: when something does happen that it feels like you're really
Speaker 4: making progress, You're really it's just those wins that you're
Speaker 4: really proud of, it's to write them down somewhere.
Speaker 3: So it could be I don't know where My daughter
Speaker 3: got this.
Speaker 4: She's seven, and when she was six, she decided that
Speaker 4: she wanted to start a brave book. And every time
Speaker 4: she was brave, she wrote in her brave book, it
Speaker 4: was the most freaking beautiful thing ever. So it's like,
Speaker 4: it's a brave book.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So is it a brave book? Is it an
Speaker 3: evidence journal?
Speaker 4: It's like an evidence journal of proving that you can
Speaker 4: be that thing.
Speaker 3: So for my daughter it was it was brave.
Speaker 4: And she stood up to a little boy who was
Speaker 4: like breaking her and her friend's little craft projects at school.
Speaker 3: In the world, I'm tearing up here.
Speaker 4: Oh so beautiful, I can she thinks of this stuff.
Speaker 4: It's amazing.
Speaker 3: She started this tree as well.
Speaker 4: There's a tree in our back garden and she came
Speaker 4: in one day and said, Okay, I'm going to start
Speaker 4: a strengths tree.
Speaker 3: Mamma.
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, So we each have to write like
Speaker 4: our strengths and then she's tied them to the tree.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't know, my god, you haven't seen like
Speaker 1: an absolute coach in the Mad.
Speaker 3: Robins. She's so funny. But it's not a whole idea
Speaker 3: of and I haven't actually added.
Speaker 4: To it for a long time now, but I used
Speaker 4: to have when I was starting this second business. I
Speaker 4: called it the Why I Do This file, And it's
Speaker 4: a word document and every time someone sent me an
Speaker 4: Instagram comment, or replied to an email, or sent me
Speaker 4: a text, I would copy and paste it into that
Speaker 4: word document.
Speaker 3: So it's the formatting is all over the place. It's
Speaker 3: not pretty.
Speaker 4: But in days when I was having a tough day,
Speaker 4: just opening that Why I do this file, Yeah, it
Speaker 4: was amazing.
Speaker 1: I get amazing feedback from me only imagined after in
Speaker 1: my programs, and I've kept them all and if I'm having.
Speaker 3: A rough day, that's your evidence journal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I jump into me You've changed my life and
Speaker 1: I read it and I'm like, okay, all right, that's
Speaker 1: that's why I'm going to keep going.
Speaker 2: I can see that I'm making a difference to these people.
Speaker 4: But I love that's kind of being your own vision keeper.
Speaker 4: Does that make sense? Like you're making that evidence file
Speaker 4: your vision keeper.
Speaker 1: I just really love the practicality of if we are
Speaker 1: sitting here today feeling self doubt to do the twenty
Speaker 1: Reasons Why and in whatever area that you're feeling self
Speaker 1: doubt in. And then I love this concept of the
Speaker 1: Brave Book and whether it is something brave or whether
Speaker 1: it is just something successful that you're doing.
Speaker 3: I really whatever that is for you.
Speaker 4: You know, if it's brave, it's love, it's kindness, it's strength, whatever, whatever.
Speaker 1: That's I just think there are two really practical things
Speaker 1: we can go away and do that will that will
Speaker 1: just shift us and all we.
Speaker 2: Need is a nudge, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's amazing how just a small little shift can really
Speaker 1: change our outlook and improve our energy and our focus for.
Speaker 2: The rest of the day. So I love these, Lorraine,
Speaker 2: thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Can I just just one last thing, Yes, when we
Speaker 4: think about self doubt, it can be a negative spiral,
Speaker 4: you know, you spiral.
Speaker 3: Down, down, down, down down, and things like you.
Speaker 4: Know, if it's your Brave Book or it's the Twenty Reasons,
Speaker 4: it doesn't immediately start you spiraling up at speed, but
Speaker 4: it just gradually changes the direction, just gradually, it's like
Speaker 4: that little bread crumb trailer and then that's the next thing.
Speaker 4: So just changing the trajectory of your thinking in your day,
Speaker 4: I think is huge.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. I'm literally going to go and do that
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thanks so much, thanks for listening to Healthy Hair.
Speaker 1: If you're at a point with your health where you
Speaker 1: want answers, answers to your low energy, answers to that
Speaker 1: stubborn weight that won't shift, then I've got the solution
Speaker 1: for you. I have partnered with the most amazing integrative
Speaker 1: GP to bring you in out Vitality, a brand new
Speaker 1: online program that uses over fifty by a mile is
Speaker 1: to give you an accurate picture of your unique biochemistry
Speaker 1: and any imbalances. Then, over eight weeks, we educate you
Speaker 1: on these markers and implement the small but powerful changes
Speaker 1: needed to restore your internal balance.
Speaker 2: Visit the link in the show notes to find out more.