1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: I got Adia, Bloody Champions. Welcome to another instorm with 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: the you project. It's him with the slightly froggy voice. Still, 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: but I'm improving. Please tell me I'm improving. I've been 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: Barry White, Barry White. If you don't know who Barry 5 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,799 Speaker 1: White is, look him up a I think he's the 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: late Great. I'm pretty sure he's not with us anymore. 7 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: God bless his little socks. Amazing singer and an incredible voice, 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: which mine isn't. But lately I've been sounding a little 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: bit like his talking voice, not his singing voice. I 10 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: hope you well. I hope you're enjoying your week. It 11 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 1: is Sunday, it's around lunch time here in the thriving metropolis, 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 1: and I was having a chat with somebody on Friday 13 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: about their struggle with confidence, or I guess their lack 14 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: of confidence. So I thought, well, that's something that's pertinent 15 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: to all of us at some stage, whether it's in relationships, 16 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: or whether or not at school, or whether or not 17 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: it's in work, or whether or not it's in socializing, 18 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: being out and about trying to interact with others and 19 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: connect and build rapport and not feel too weird. And 20 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: not seem too weird, or whether or not it's trying 21 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: to get a raise or a new job, or whether 22 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: it's trying to develop a skill or to master something 23 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: that might make our life better or more fun. So 24 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: I thought I would talk about that. I've definitely struggled 25 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: with people not pick it, but I've struggled with confidence 26 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: doing certain things throughout my life, and times when I 27 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: felt overwhelmed and in adequates and not good enough and 28 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: all of those things that we all feel right. So 29 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: I'm not a special case. There's no newsflash in any 30 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: of this. But I'm of the belief that many people 31 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: don't succeed because two things I talk about one all 32 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: the time is what we think of us. So not 33 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: so much our actual potential or ability or capacity to succeed, 34 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: or our genetics or resources or time or opportunities or 35 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: even energy, but rather how we see ourselves. That is, 36 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: we put limitations on ourselves. We tell ourself stories about us, 37 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: and those stories are mostly self limiting beliefs based on 38 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: often based on nothing, usually out of fear. And the 39 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: thing that I'm talking about today that also holds us 40 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: back is just a lack of confidence self belief, a 41 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:43,920 Speaker 1: lack of truly believing that we have the capacity to 42 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: be able to do something amazing and special and to 43 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: succeed and to optimize whatever it is that we have 44 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: to work with. So this won't be long. I want 45 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: to share with you just some fundamentals that have worked 46 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,799 Speaker 1: for me. So these are all out of muskon, all 47 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: out of my little bonce things that have worked for me, 48 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: the person who isn't naturally gifted and talented. And I 49 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: don't say that so that someone's going to go, oh, 50 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,799 Speaker 1: but you are. I truly know that about me. Now 51 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: that's not to say I have no talent, or I 52 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: have terrible genetics or I don't have any but it's 53 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: not that. It's just to say that, you know, my genetics, 54 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: my academic ability, my creativity, my intellect, all of the 55 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: things that are kind of the variables or some of 56 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: the variables that determine, you know, how well we go 57 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: at this thing that we call life. There's a lot 58 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: more things, of course, but I didn't have a running 59 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: start at it. And not only was I not gifted 60 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: in that things came easily. But then once you start 61 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: to fail, and once you start to get a few labels, 62 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: and once you have some shitty experiences, and once you 63 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: feel a little bit of social and emotional and mental pain, 64 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: then you're like, wow, that's true. I am fucking terrible. 65 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: Oh look all the Not only do I think that 66 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: and of experience, but now the feedback is that the data, 67 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: the evidence is there and it's not really but it 68 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: well sometimes it is. But all that means when I'm 69 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: looking back at the things that I fucked up or 70 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 1: didn't do well at or didn't thrive at, it was 71 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 1: just because I hadn't got there yet. And obviously there 72 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,839 Speaker 1: are things that I could never do. I just didn't 73 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: have the actual ability and potential and genetics like around 74 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: one hundred meters in ten seconds, become you know, a 75 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: world famous singer, become you know a lot of things whatever. 76 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: But looking back at the things that I thought I 77 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: couldn't do, most of the things that I thought I 78 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: couldn't do, I actually could. It just was going to 79 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: take work and effort and pain and consistency and resilience 80 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: and courage. And so these are the things I believe 81 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: that get in the way more than our lack of 82 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:08,799 Speaker 1: ability or potential or possibilities So for me, it's always 83 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: been developing confidence by doing. By doing, It's been in 84 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 1: the doing for me and for most people that I've 85 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 1: worked with, it's been when they lack confidence or self belief, 86 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: and then we get them to do something. We plan 87 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: something together, we create a plan, we timeline it, we 88 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,839 Speaker 1: execute it. They get some little results, they get a 89 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: couple of failures, they get some positive, a little negative, 90 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: another positive. Over time we build up where we're starting 91 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,479 Speaker 1: to get some wins on the board. And in the 92 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: middle of the peaks and the troughs, the highs and 93 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: the lows, the failures and the successes, they're becoming a 94 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: different person. So they are not only they becoming more 95 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: capable and comfortable in the middle of failure and let 96 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: down and disappointment and emotional and psychological pain, because they 97 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: start to realize, well, that's just fucking part of the deal. 98 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: That's what we deal with. That's what happens when you're 99 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: trying to do something. That's what happens when you're closer 100 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: to the regular end of the scale than the superstar 101 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: end of the scale. So I want to share with 102 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 1: you what is it I think to eight things that 103 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 1: have been really important for me. And look, there's no 104 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 1: there's no magic in this. But this is broadly true 105 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: for personal development and self help and human behavior and psychology, 106 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: is that there's not a lot of magic in it. 107 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: And sometimes the problem is that we spend so long 108 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: looking for the quick fix, the magic pill, the magic potion, 109 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: the how do how do I get three years worth 110 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: of results in three months that we kind of want 111 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: to side step the work and side step the practical 112 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: stuff and side step to doing. But it's in the 113 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: work and the practical stuff, and it's in the doing 114 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: we actually become the person that we need to become 115 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 1: to be able to execute all the shit that we 116 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: want to execute to create the outcomes and the successes 117 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: that we want. So Number one on my list is 118 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: do the reps. Do the reps. Just fucking roll up 119 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: your sleeves and start. Of course you'll fail. Of course 120 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: you'll look silly, feel silly. That's okay. Do the reps. 121 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: Keep doing the reps, do them as well as you 122 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 1: can do them, as light as you need to. I'm 123 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: talking about literal reps and metaphoric reps. Of course, do 124 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: lots of them. You cannot get good at what you 125 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: won't do. So the starting point for you for many 126 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: things that you will do will be that you might 127 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 1: be a one out of ten, you might be a 128 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: zero point five out of ten. Well guess what. You 129 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: can never become a two by avoiding what's required for 130 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: growth or improvement or development. So cool, start at a one, 131 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: Start at one, see what happens. And I've given you 132 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: all the metaphors before about black belts and white belts, 133 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: but literally, what I love about that kind of grading 134 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: system is that it teaches us that we come into 135 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: that environment, that situation, that skill that we're trying to develop, 136 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: We come into that, you know, almost like a blank 137 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: canvas that's got no paint on it yet, and we 138 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: don't know how to paint. We don't know how to 139 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: know how to do a kick or a punch or 140 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: a renaked choke. We don't. So we get on the 141 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: mat with our white belt. We get on the mat 142 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: being a zero point five or a one out of ten, 143 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: and we immerse ourselves in that place where we're going 144 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: to do the reps. We're going to just keep showing 145 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,599 Speaker 1: up and people are going to be better than us. 146 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: People are going to be better than us. At that skill, 147 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: at that thing, whether it's singing, whether it's dancing, whether 148 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: it's understanding the PhD journey. Like for me, when I started, 149 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: everyone around me was way more developed, way down the 150 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: tunnel for the academic journey tunnel then I was. But 151 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: guess what, Hopefully the only way I could go was 152 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: up because I was so inadequate. But isn't it great 153 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: when you are around people that have skills and knowledge 154 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: and experience and strength and understanding and insight that you 155 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: don't have, and now you spend time with them. Now 156 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: you start to learn the language. Now you start to 157 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,679 Speaker 1: learn the energy and the culture and the vibe and 158 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 1: the process, and you start to develop because you're doing 159 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: the reps and you're just showing up. So just show up, 160 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: Just show up. You've all been bored with my rambling about, 161 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: you know, the six hundred episodes I did on this show, 162 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: which you know I lost money on. But I thought that, well, 163 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: I wasn't positive, but I genuinely thought that this show 164 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: had potential. I thought that one day we're going to 165 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: get good sponsors, and not only will it be you know, 166 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: and exercising creativity and hopefully helping people and growth and 167 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: all of those things for me and enjoy it has 168 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: always given me joy, but also it would be something 169 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 1: that could be commercially viable. So I did the reps 170 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: for six hundred shows. I kept showing up, I kept 171 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 1: doing my research. I kept learning, I kept unlearning, I 172 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: kept paying attention. I kept sucking up, falling down, getting 173 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: back up, looking at other great podcast as, other great 174 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: communicators are the great interviewers, and just rocking up and 175 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: put my face in front of this fucking microphone that's 176 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: here right now, and eventually, eventually I got okay at it, 177 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: and eventually I'll leave the judgment up to you, but 178 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: not bad at it. But I couldn't. I couldn't even 179 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: get three out of ten at it if I didn't 180 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: sit down being a one. And that's where I started, 181 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 1: and that's where you start, So do the reps. My 182 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: next one is kind of similar, and that is put 183 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: yourself in the game. So get yourself in the space. 184 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: Like I said with me at UNI, I knew I 185 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: was going to be out of my depth when I 186 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: started at fifty six doing a PhD. And literally everyone 187 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: was probably on average thirty years younger than me. I 188 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:13,680 Speaker 1: knew that energetically, that academically, that linguistically, that practically. I 189 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: knew that I would be way behind the starting point 190 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: for even a normal, regular day one PhD candidate, because 191 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: I was coming from far back. I hadn't studied at 192 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: university for nearly twenty years, you know, and think about 193 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: the work that people do and the things that people 194 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: do over time that came out of them showing up somewhere, 195 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: putting themselves in the room, getting in the room for 196 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: the first time. Now, I don't know how many people 197 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: I've had say to me, either coming into my gym's 198 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: when I owned gyms, or just out about talking. I 199 00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: want to be here or i want to get to 200 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: the gym, but I'm terrified. I'm scared. I'm embarrassed of 201 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 1: how I look. I'm embarrassed of what people think about 202 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 1: me or say about me. I'm intimidated. I'm this and 203 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: this and this, and they wheel off ten reasons why 204 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: they're not going, and I understand all of that, and 205 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: they have my sympathy and empathy. And I remember being 206 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: horribly out of shape and humiliated and embarrassed and hated 207 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:33,839 Speaker 1: people looking at me. So I'm speaking experientially and personally, 208 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: not just theoretically. Do I understand it, but I fucking 209 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: understand it. But how do you get comfortable in a gym? 210 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: How do you learn to train effectively? How do you 211 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 1: build confidence in a gym? We can't build confidence in 212 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: a gym or any environment similar to that, any workout 213 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: or training environment, if you're never in the fucking environment, 214 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: if you never go to the gym or the pool 215 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: or the running track or the CrossFit box or the 216 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: class or whatever it is. There needs to be a 217 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: moment in time, and it could be a job interview 218 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 1: and you know you're not going to get the job, 219 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,959 Speaker 1: and you know that you're terrible at interviews, You know 220 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: that you lack confidence, you know that you just don't 221 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 1: have the experience or the skills, and maybe you're naturally 222 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: anxious in all of those things. And yes, understand, I understand, 223 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: tick tick tick, But guess what. You can get good 224 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: at interviews. You can get good at interviews. You can 225 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: apply for the job, you can get your bum on 226 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 1: the seat, you can sit in front of the people 227 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: that are going to chat with you. You can even go 228 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: in saying look, this is probably not going to happen, 229 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: but I'm here to have an experience, and every time 230 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: you have an experience, you learn something. Every time you 231 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: have an experience, there's an opportunity for you to grow 232 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 1: and gain insight, to become better at that thing that 233 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: you're not currently good at, for you to be able 234 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: to go in the room and instead instead of having 235 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 1: minus three out of ten confidence you walk in the room, 236 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: you've got two or three now, and then you've got four, 237 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: and then you've got five, and then over time you 238 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 1: build confidence. You understand yourself in that environment more, you 239 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: understand the process, you understand what the people are looking 240 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: for and who they're looking for, and you can build 241 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: that kind of resilience. You can build that kind of 242 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 1: knowledge and understanding and skill because you're putting yourself in 243 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: the room. You're getting in the room in front of people, 244 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: and we go into that knowing or at least accepting 245 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: the possibility. This might take me fifty attempts, this might 246 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 1: take me less, it might take me more. I'm not 247 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 1: going to count it off like that, but it might 248 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: take a while, and that's okay. My next confidence builder 249 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: is also not mind blowing, also not revolutionary, but it 250 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: is set ridiculously achievable micro goals like set little goals 251 00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: that are pushing you, moving you building confidence for the 252 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: biggest stuff. Set something that you know you can reasonably do. 253 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: So that might be whatever in today's meeting, I'm going 254 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 1: to ask a question. I'm not going to ask ten questions. 255 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: I'm not going to pull the microphone out of anybody's hand. 256 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: Each time we do that, we get a little hit 257 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: of dopamine that reinforces self belief. Every time we do 258 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 1: something that we haven't done and we don't capitulate and 259 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: people don't laugh at us, and we didn't fuck anything up. 260 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: Maybe we didn't create any revolutionary kind of transformation within 261 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 1: the company, but you know, we asked something, or we 262 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: said something, or we gave a little bit of feedback, 263 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: or it might be you know, you're petrified of talking. 264 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: Is stranger? It's cool. Just smile at someone today, say 265 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: a lo to someone today, have a good morning, have 266 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 1: a good night, thank you for holding the door for me, 267 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: or let me get the door for you, or whatever. 268 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: It is just doing something that is un you. You 269 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: want to build confidence around others, doesn't mean you want 270 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 1: to be a public speaker, does mean you need to 271 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 1: hog the limelight doesn't mean you need to be an extrovert. 272 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: But when we set little achievable goals. You know, the 273 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: person who wants to run a marathon and they're in 274 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: no kind of shape to run a kilometer, let alone 275 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: a marathon, it would be very understandable for them to go, well, 276 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: look at me, as if I could run a marathon 277 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 1: and I get it right now, zero chance right now. 278 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: But let's not worry about running a marathon right now. 279 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: Let's worry about getting a kilometer of movement in today. 280 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: Could you walk a kilometer today? You know, in that 281 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: body that ain't built for running yet, could you walk? 282 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: Could you reduce your calories by thirty percent? Could you 283 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 1: change the kind of energy equation in and out? Could 284 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: you change that a little bit? Do you think over 285 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: a month that you could go from walking a kilometer 286 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: a day to maybe three and maybe in that month 287 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 1: you might lose some kill, which is going to help 288 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: you move even better. Do you think that maybe over 289 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 1: I don't know, three months, you might start to do 290 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,479 Speaker 1: some jogging, and over time you might do more jogging 291 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: and less walking, and then eventually you might do a 292 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:17,640 Speaker 1: five k job. Because also in that timeframe, you've lost 293 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,439 Speaker 1: ten or fifteen or twenty k's. And so this is 294 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 1: the beauty of setting small goals or micro goals that 295 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 1: we can achieve. We're not being unrealistic, we're not beating 296 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 1: ourselves up, we're not trying to be the alpha in 297 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: the group where we're not. We're trying to build competence 298 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: and confidence and skill in this example, and fitness that 299 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: can help us do a task down the track that 300 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: right now we couldn't even dream of doing. But if 301 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: we don't start on the micro goals, the small goals, 302 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,239 Speaker 1: we don't start on the walking, we don't start on 303 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: the improving the movement, we don't start on that, then 304 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: we never get to do the marathon or the metaphoric marathon, 305 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 1: whatever that represents to you. So just start with something 306 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: and every day, my advice is there. Every day tick 307 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,199 Speaker 1: something off and as much as you can make it 308 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 1: progressive over time. Today I walked two thousand steps in 309 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: my phone. Your phone has a tracker, of course, and 310 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: tomorrow I'm going to do twenty two hundred steps, and 311 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: the end of the month, I'm going to be doing 312 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,639 Speaker 1: three thousand steps or whatever it is. But that ability 313 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: to be able to go Okay, this is going to 314 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: be solid for me, but not impossible. So I'm going 315 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,199 Speaker 1: to do that. So micro goals. My next one is 316 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 1: be courageous enough enough to fail, and we don't want 317 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,399 Speaker 1: to fail. The failure is part of life, depending on 318 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: how you frame it, and we can reframe failure into oh, 319 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 1: it's a lesson, it's an experience, it's a moment in time. 320 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 1: We can do all that. I get all of that, 321 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: but the bottom line is we're going to fuck up. 322 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: That's the bottom line. The bottom line is you and 323 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 1: I will fail at things. That's the bottom line. Doesn't 324 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: matter what kind of ribbon you want to put on it, 325 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 1: but you and I know what's going on. I tried 326 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: to think I failed. Cool. It is also, or it 327 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: can be also a lesson. It can be a competence 328 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: and a confidence builder. Funnily enough, it can help us 329 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: build resilience and understanding and even momentum because we're doing it. 330 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 1: We're doing it. We're okay to be embarrassed, to look silly, 331 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 1: to experience some social and emotional discomfort, and to learn 332 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: from our fuck ups and to learn from our negative 333 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 1: outcomes and go great. I tried this. It didn't work, 334 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 1: but I did it. But I didn't get the time 335 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: I want or exactly the outcome I want. But I 336 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: went through the process. How can I change my process? 337 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: How could I manipulate the variables to do better? What 338 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: do I need to do more of and less of? 339 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: What are the key takeaways from this experience? What is 340 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 1: what is the experience? And what are my outcomes telling me? 341 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: And also, you might have you might have an external person. 342 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: You might have a coach, you might have a mentor, 343 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: you might have what I call an unreasonable friend. You know, 344 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: someone who tells you what you need to hear, not 345 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: what makes you comfortable. You might have one of those 346 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: motherfucker's floating around and they'll give you some feedback. And 347 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: it's your job and my job to be big enough 348 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: and brave enough as long as the feedback is feedback, 349 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: not criticism, not hate, but actual feedback from someone who 350 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,000 Speaker 1: knows you and loves you, and someone who can give 351 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 1: you some measured analysis that could be valuable if you 352 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 1: do something with it. So be courageous enough to fail 353 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 1: to fall down, to look silly, to go through some 354 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: social and emotional discomfort, to disappoint yourself or even others. 355 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: This is also, you know, part of life. And when 356 00:20:55,119 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: we are so fucking determined to stay comfortable, to stay safe, 357 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: to stay in the middle of all things familiar and predictable, 358 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: we're just building for ourselves at jail, an emotional and 359 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 1: psychological and developmental jail that keeps us trapped. I would 360 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 1: rather fail ten times than do nothing. I truly would, 361 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: because I know good things are going to come out 362 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: of those ten efforts that I made. My next one 363 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 1: is practice prep, preparation, and be patient. Practice prep and 364 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,920 Speaker 1: be patient. Some things just take a long time to 365 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: take a while. I wanted to work in radio. I 366 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 1: did a few radio interviews when I was younger. I 367 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: enjoyed at commercial radio, got on a few times, got 368 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:59,439 Speaker 1: told that I might do all right on radio, and 369 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,359 Speaker 1: I needed to somehow build some skills and confidence and 370 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 1: competence and basically get some time on the mic. It's 371 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: not like you can just walk into Triple M or 372 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,159 Speaker 1: Fox FM or NOVERA or whoever and go, hey, I 373 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,400 Speaker 1: think I'll be good at radio. I know, and guess 374 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: what I'm available. How lucky are you? No? That doesn't work, 375 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: of course, that doesn't work. So what I did was 376 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: I went and spent about six to seven years on 377 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: two different community radio stations, and I did a weekly gig. 378 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: So what's that fifty weeks of the year give will take, 379 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: let's say seven, that's three hundred and fifty years. At 380 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 1: three hundred and fifty times I worked in radio. Where 381 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,919 Speaker 1: I was I was also producing, which means I was 382 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: at times anyway, I was actually most of the time 383 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,120 Speaker 1: I was pushing the buttons. I was taking us out 384 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 1: of a talk set into music or ads or whatever 385 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,440 Speaker 1: it was. I was coming back. I was doing time 386 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 1: checks where the checks station id all of that welcome back, 387 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 1: it's blah blah blah. You know. I was doing all 388 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: of that, and I developed all of this understanding and 389 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:18,239 Speaker 1: knowledge and skills. And so when I finally got a 390 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: job on what is Whilst going to say what was 391 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: then it still is sen which is Melbourne's home of sport, 392 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,640 Speaker 1: and all of these things Australia is now, I think 393 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,680 Speaker 1: they're all around Australia. But I already had a lot 394 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: of time talking to people, doing interviews, pushing the buttons, 395 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: understanding how it works, timing, situational awareness, and I wasn't 396 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 1: brilliant at all. But when I started on community radio, 397 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: I was a one. And by the time I by 398 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: the time I got onto commercial radio, I'd already had 399 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 1: a lot relative but quite a lot of experience, and 400 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 1: I would say it was probably a five or six 401 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,439 Speaker 1: or for my capacity, my ability. I was maybe a five, 402 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 1: six or seven before I did my first commercial gig, 403 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 1: before I got paid, before I was working in commercial radio. 404 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 1: But that wouldn't have happened. That would never had happened 405 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: had I not done you know, it didn't need to 406 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,400 Speaker 1: be six years or seven years, I guess, but had 407 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,880 Speaker 1: I not done at least a significant amount of practice 408 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: and preparation and been patient in the middle of that, 409 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: we you know, sometimes we want to get somewhere that's 410 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,679 Speaker 1: going to take probably for the typical per average person, 411 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: you know, three or four years. And that's not being 412 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 1: negative or that's not belittling anyone, but probably the average 413 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,679 Speaker 1: time between where you are now in that position that 414 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,199 Speaker 1: you want to be in, or the skill set you 415 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: want to have, or that brand that you want to build, 416 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 1: it might take three or four years. That might take 417 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: five years, right, But if you're a person who goes yeah, 418 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: I want to be there, but I want to be 419 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:04,160 Speaker 1: there in three months without trying to rain on your parade. 420 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: Do everything that you can to get there in three months. 421 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: And if you get there in three months, you're much 422 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: better than me and well done. But also let's be 423 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,399 Speaker 1: realistic and practical and say this could take a while. 424 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,439 Speaker 1: So when I finally get the opportunity or get in 425 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,359 Speaker 1: that position, i've created that thing. Or what are the 426 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 1: skills and qualities and attributes that I need to have 427 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: so I can just press the trigger? What do I 428 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 1: need to learn now? What do I need to understand now? 429 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: What do I need to get better at? Now? What 430 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 1: do I need to explore? Now? What doors do I 431 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 1: try and open? Now? How can I get myself in 432 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: my example, on air any air fucking four people listening, 433 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,120 Speaker 1: don't care. I just want to be doing a version 434 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,880 Speaker 1: of radio so that I can go and do proper 435 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: radio inverted commas down the track. Three to go. My 436 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,360 Speaker 1: third last one is talk to people who are succeeding 437 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: in the space that you want to succeed. So talking 438 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: to people, talk to people who are already good at 439 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,159 Speaker 1: what you want to be good at, and be polite 440 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 1: and be humble and be grateful and be gracious. Not 441 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,480 Speaker 1: everybody wants to help you, of course, I dare say 442 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: a lot of people, especially if they're already successful, you know, 443 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: might not be bursting out of their skin to donate 444 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,880 Speaker 1: their time and knowledge and energy to you. I understand that. 445 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: But even if you can grab five minutes of someone's 446 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: time who's doing what you want to do at a 447 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,119 Speaker 1: high level, or even if you want to pay for 448 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: a coaching session, if that's possible with that person. Sometimes 449 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: I think sometimes finding the right person to talk to 450 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,720 Speaker 1: for one hour, it can be life changing, or it 451 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:55,160 Speaker 1: can be direction changing, it can be cognitively empowering, where 452 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,399 Speaker 1: all of a sudden you realize, well, maybe I'm not 453 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,840 Speaker 1: as far away as I thought, or maybe I inherently 454 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,560 Speaker 1: knew three or four of those things, or I had 455 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 1: no fucking idea. But he or she has just turned 456 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 1: on a light for me. So I'm always when I 457 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 1: have the opportunity to talk to somebody who is successful 458 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,199 Speaker 1: in any field, and even people who are still on 459 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 1: the journey, of course, But for me, when I find 460 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: somebody who's doing something amazing, like when I spoke to 461 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: Mark Randolph, who created Netflix. I couldn't believe I'm talking 462 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,960 Speaker 1: to the guy who created Netflix. I couldn't believe that 463 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 1: I've got an hour with the guy who created this 464 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 1: phenomenon that's all over the world. And I treasured that. 465 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 1: I've listened to that three or four times since. I 466 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 1: treasured that time being able to not only was he 467 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 1: a good guy, and not only was he a good storyteller, 468 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: and I love the way he thought. But for me, 469 00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,239 Speaker 1: on a selfish hands in the air, fully admitted, on 470 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,880 Speaker 1: a selfish level, oh my god, I could never get 471 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,639 Speaker 1: to talk to that dude, Just Craig harp of the 472 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,880 Speaker 1: bloke that lives in Melbourne. He's not getting to talk 473 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: to the guy who built created Netflix. He's not getting 474 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,880 Speaker 1: to talk to a billionaire about how he does shit 475 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: and how he works and how he thinks and how 476 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 1: he learns and how he've for me amazing. So find 477 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: your own Mark Randolph, for Marianne Randolph, for whoever it is, 478 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: and see if you can spend some time with them, 479 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: or even if it is listening to as you're doing 480 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 1: right now. And I'm not talking about mine necessarily, but 481 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 1: you know, there are some brilliant podcasts and educators and 482 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 1: human development specialists and self help and all that kind 483 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 1: of human behavior stuff. And there's a lot of shit. 484 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: There's a huge amount of shit. But if you can 485 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 1: filter through the shit and you can find some of 486 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: the good people, they can become a mentor to you. 487 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 1: They can become a mentor that you never meet. But 488 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: the beauty of it is you're still listening to the 489 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 1: person share the wisdom. And what I love about you 490 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: know this medium is that there is no hurry there. 491 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: You know, most people do podcasts are not getting paid. 492 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 1: I've never paid one guest. They don't get paid. They 493 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: just are happy to be on. Or maybe they want 494 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: to promote a book, or maybe they want to I 495 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 1: don't know, maybe there's a slight agenda, but I can 496 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 1: good on them. Good on them. But anyway, plug into 497 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 1: somebody who might be able to help you, who might 498 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 1: open the door to give you some insight and understanding 499 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: and awareness and maybe even a little bit of confidence 500 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: that you might not have had unless you intersected with them. 501 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: To go, second last one? How many are there? Let 502 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 1: me see three six England, three six eight eight. Take 503 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: a long time, haven't I? Second last one? So number 504 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,920 Speaker 1: seven is choose the narrow path. What does that mean? 505 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: I've kind of covered a bit, but it basically means 506 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 1: do what most won't like If you want to achieve 507 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: what most people won't, and I don't mean for the 508 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: sake of being weird, but if you want to become 509 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: highly successful in any endeavor or guess what, that makes 510 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 1: you exceptional. Because most people are not highly successful. That 511 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 1: doesn't mean they're bad people. That doesn't mean they've got 512 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,440 Speaker 1: a bad life. That doesn't mean they can't be joyful 513 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: or they're not joyful or happy or fulfilled. It doesn't 514 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: mean that at all. But if we're talking about optimizing 515 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 1: your talent and skills to be able to create something, 516 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 1: if we're talking about building confidence so that you can 517 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: grow and learn and evolve and do bigger and better stuff, 518 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: and you are willing to do what most people won't, 519 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: which is just to outlast and out work and to 520 00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: embrace the mayhem and the chaos, to ditch the instant gratification, 521 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: quick fixed mindset, and to climb, to actually climb the 522 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: fucking mountain. Most people won't do that stuff. Most people won't. 523 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: People like to talk about it, but the truth is 524 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: that you know a lot of people go to workshops 525 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,200 Speaker 1: or read books or even listen to shows like this, 526 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 1: and I hesitate always to say this because I don't 527 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: want anyone to feel like I'm judging or criticizing them. 528 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 1: But just as the guy who's up the front, the 529 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 1: guy who is talking to the group, the guy who 530 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 1: gets feedback, the guy who the amount of people. In fact, 531 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 1: one special lady that has just been through the hardest time. 532 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 1: Her name is Katrina Umback, and I met her a 533 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: couple of weeks. I've met her on and off, but 534 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 1: just you know, moments in time, but I've never really 535 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 1: spoken to her at length. But recently I did an 536 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 1: event which I've spoken about a few times, and she 537 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:12,640 Speaker 1: was there and talk about you know, talk about outlasting, 538 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: talk about surviving, talking about finding a way, talk about 539 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 1: fucking resilience and strength and courage alike, you know, And 540 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,120 Speaker 1: she when she introduced me on the day that I 541 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 1: did this talk shit all of these beautiful things which 542 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 1: were kind of embarrassing, but truthfully, I think undeserved on 543 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: my part. And I feel like that the one that 544 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 1: was deserving of the praise and the accolades were her. 545 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: And I'm going to get her on the show one 546 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: day soon. But you know, she reached out to me 547 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,719 Speaker 1: I think was in twenty seventeen, and just sent me 548 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 1: on Messenger as somebody that I didn't know. Hey, Harps, 549 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 1: you know, my name's Katrina. I'm coming to one of 550 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 1: your It was a weekend, and she took a photo 551 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 1: of the receipt that her husband had got, that had 552 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 1: received for buying a weekend away, so forty eight hours 553 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 1: with me and one hundred and thirty other humans down 554 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: on the Mornington Peninsula. And I think the message said 555 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: from her husband something like there's not many husbands that 556 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 1: would buy their wives a week away with a weekend 557 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: away with another bloke, or something like something amusing like that. 558 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: And she sent me that and I thought it was funny, 559 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 1: and I replied. And then I don't know exactly long 560 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 1: after how long after, But it wasn't that long that 561 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 1: her husband sadly died of a heart attack. He was young, 562 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: she was young, both in their thirties and obviously devastating. 563 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 1: And I didn't know. I didn't know all of this. 564 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: Maybe I maybe I knew a little bit, but I 565 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: didn't know. I absolutely didn't know the story and then 566 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, Katrina was at this event, 567 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:13,000 Speaker 1: and you know, she got up and spoke, and then 568 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 1: I came to fully or more understand her journey, and 569 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:23,839 Speaker 1: she was up there thanking me for how amazing my 570 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 1: you know whatever, my books, my podcast, my words were 571 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: for her through that time. And the overwhelming emotion, if 572 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: it's an emotion in me, was embarrassment and almost shame 573 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 1: because I just feel like I totally didn't deserve what 574 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 1: she was saying. But I appreciated it and I accepted 575 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:48,840 Speaker 1: it and it was lovely. But here's my point. I've 576 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,720 Speaker 1: been in front of really big audiences, thousands and thousands 577 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: of people, and really small audiences. And I think the weekend, 578 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 1: like I said that Katrina and I a bunch of 579 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 1: others had together, there was like one hundred and thirty 580 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 1: people forty eight hours. But she was the one. She 581 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:14,160 Speaker 1: was the one who just went away and did all 582 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 1: the work. There may have been others. I shouldn't say 583 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: the one. But what is interesting is some people go, 584 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 1: you know, Craig changed my life, and I go, this 585 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,359 Speaker 1: is not being me being humble. I absolutely didn't change 586 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: your life. Because that afternoon or that day or that 587 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: keynote or that book or whatever it is. A lot 588 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:39,240 Speaker 1: of other people have heard or read the same words 589 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 1: a lot, and almost all of them did not do 590 00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,680 Speaker 1: what you have done. So this one hundred percent you. 591 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,520 Speaker 1: And what I love about her is she chose the 592 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,520 Speaker 1: narrow path. She did the brave thing. She did the 593 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 1: thing that must have been in the middle of the 594 00:35:55,200 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: worst pain imaginable. I don't even think about it, but 595 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: in the middle of the worst pain imaginable. She had 596 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,359 Speaker 1: two little kids and she just had to find a way. 597 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,879 Speaker 1: She just had to find a way to step up 598 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:19,960 Speaker 1: and provide and keep going. And and she, you know, 599 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,200 Speaker 1: she told me she would photocopy all the stuff or 600 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:24,839 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff that I wrote, or write things 601 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 1: out of my book and then put them up on 602 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,960 Speaker 1: the wall and put them everywhere and share it with 603 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: people and read it every day and say it every 604 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: day and look at it and all of this stuff. 605 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, but other people weren't doing that. 606 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:40,000 Speaker 1: You were doing that. And so when I see people 607 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,799 Speaker 1: like Katrina and also my mate John that you've heard 608 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,839 Speaker 1: too much about, when I see people like them who 609 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:51,799 Speaker 1: do amazing things under the toughest of circumstances. I just 610 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: realized how much capacity we humans have when we have 611 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:03,040 Speaker 1: to do something, and this isn't ever present. Reality is 612 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: that so often we want to change something. We want 613 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,319 Speaker 1: to learn, grow, evolve, get better, produce better outcomes, win, 614 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: succeed whatever that looks like for us. We want that, 615 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: but also the path to that is hard as fuck, 616 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: and so we go. I'll start Monday, not now. Now 617 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:29,239 Speaker 1: is not a good time, which brings me to my 618 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: next point, next final point. It stopped delaying, avoiding, waiting, procrastinating, 619 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:39,960 Speaker 1: and rationalizing. It is so easy to find another reason 620 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,319 Speaker 1: for another day, and another month and then another year 621 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,520 Speaker 1: where it's not a good time for me. It doesn't 622 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:49,759 Speaker 1: you know. I've got this one. I've got that on 623 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,000 Speaker 1: my back's a little bit sore. I've got all of 624 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 1: these Da da da da da. And then he was 625 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 1: fifty and then she was fifty five. Right, this shit 626 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:02,799 Speaker 1: is inconvenient. How do we build confidence? We start in 627 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: the middle of not being ready. I don't mean doing 628 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 1: anything illogical or dangerous, but how many people really go 629 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,520 Speaker 1: all right, today's the day. I'm ready. I'm brand new, 630 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 1: they're ready. They make a decision, and then they never 631 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:25,399 Speaker 1: give up, well, very few. But when we go look 632 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 1: right now, it's inconvenient and that's okay. Right now, me 633 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,360 Speaker 1: doing this thing is going to be uncomfortable and a 634 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: bit uncertain, and that's okay. Right now. This is going 635 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,800 Speaker 1: to take a fair bit of time and energy and focus, 636 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:43,279 Speaker 1: and that's okay because it's worth it. Like you do 637 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,440 Speaker 1: not want to wake up in five years unless your 638 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 1: life is already brilliant, and if it is, you shouldn't 639 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,799 Speaker 1: be listening to me. But you don't want to wake 640 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 1: up in five years. And ago, all those things I 641 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,800 Speaker 1: wanted to do, I didn't do them. All those conversations 642 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:02,800 Speaker 1: I had, I didn't take action. Those light bulbs amounted 643 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 1: to nothing. And you don't need to. You don't need to. 644 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 1: You just need to be brave. You just need to 645 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,560 Speaker 1: be brave. You just need to take a step and 646 00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 1: courage it's optional. Courage is you saying, I don't want 647 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,120 Speaker 1: to do this thing, but I know I need to 648 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: do this thing, So I'm doing this thing. See you 649 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 1: next time.