1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. 3 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 2: Paychecks. 4 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 3: I'm ol and this's two boat cheeks, the show that 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 3: shares life lessons and tips to. 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 4: Be rich in life. And got something kind of exciting 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 4: to announce. Yeah wait is it that. 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 2: Drum roll? 9 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 5: Please? 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 3: Finding Your People is officially out. Oh my god, we're 11 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 3: avisually authors exciting. 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: Yep. 13 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 3: So, in case you missed the memo, our book, Finding 14 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 3: Your People, the Ultimate Guide to Friendship is out today, 15 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 3: available at. 16 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: A good bookstore near you, and we're so excited. 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 4: I can't believe. 18 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 5: I'm so happy for everyone who has it in their 19 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 5: little pores already if you've pre ordered it, but yeah, 20 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 5: you can get it from Big w book Topia just 21 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 5: literally search Finding Your People online or go to the 22 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 5: show notes. 23 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 4: And we are just so so so so excited. 24 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 5: For you chicks to have this book, because it's been 25 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 5: one that you've been asking for for literally since we 26 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 5: started doing this, which is wild. Yeah, now it's out there, 27 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 5: like in our brains and now it's out there. 28 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 2: It's surreal. 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 4: I can't believe it. 30 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 5: I'm so like excited and nervous and like every good 31 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 5: emotion that you have like within a friendship, then now 32 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 5: like that friendship is now bleeding into the hearts of 33 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 5: the world, which is just so so cool. And to celebrate, 34 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 5: we wanted to do an episode featuring your life lessons 35 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 5: on friendships because you're a smart bunch of chicks, you are, 36 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 5: and so we've shared ours in. 37 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 4: The book Finding Your People Available to a lot good. 38 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 3: We want to share yours as well, and you chicks, 39 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 3: as we always say, whys bunch of chicks, have sent 40 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 3: in some really amazing life lessons that we can't wait 41 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 3: to share and also discuss. 42 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 4: There's a few one here that I was like, oh 43 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 4: hot takes hot, yeah, which I'm really keen. 44 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 5: But before we get into the episode, we do share 45 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 5: our product recommendations or what's trending for the week, So 46 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 5: sour hit me, what am I bang? 47 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 2: My recommendation of the week was going to be the book. 48 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 4: That's a good product recommendation. Mine can be an accompany 49 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 4: to the book. 50 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 5: And basically it's this portable heater that's like a fake fireplace, 51 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 5: right and it literally looks like a fire You can 52 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 5: get it from kmart and it's seventy nine dollars. Wow, 53 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 5: and It is this cute little heater and you can 54 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 5: also have the fire going, but it doesn't have to 55 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 5: emit heat. 56 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 4: So just for the vibe. Yeah, just for the vie. 57 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 3: I love that right, But it also will emit heat 58 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 3: because getting koled. 59 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 4: So if you want to curl up next door fireplace. 60 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 3: With a good book book, you can get this fireplace 61 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 3: and it's from came Out. 62 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 4: You can also get one from Bunnings. 63 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 5: Just look up like portable fake fireplace heater and you'll 64 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 5: see heaps and you can get one within your budget. 65 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 2: How cute? 66 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 5: I don't know, because I grew up with the fireplace 67 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 5: and it is the one thing that I miss about 68 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 5: being at. 69 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 4: Home, was what I was gonna say. 70 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 5: But Dad, like you guys are good too, but that fireplace. 71 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 3: Man, the one physical thing, one object, not your fan 72 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 3: friends and family. 73 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 2: We saved you. 74 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 4: Thanks, you're. 75 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 2: Exactly. 76 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, is like just I love like winter shit like that, 77 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 5: like you know, like the wool mattress topper as well 78 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 5: that you can get keep your cozy love that slow 79 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 5: cookup love that. 80 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, we love a cozy moment. 81 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 4: Let's get into the life lessons. 82 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 5: Ye if they bitch about every man and their dog 83 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 5: they're probably also bitching about. 84 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 4: You one thousand percent. 85 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 5: I think we recently spoke about this all night because 86 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 5: someone said, oh, but if someone you know grows up 87 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 5: and they had no friends, like, that's a bit of 88 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 5: a red flag, which we don't agree with because one, 89 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 5: that's kind. 90 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 4: Of just like a mean vibe, and two, making friends 91 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 4: is hard. 92 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 5: Building friendships is hard. High school is difficult. Making friends 93 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 5: outside of high school and you have no false proximity 94 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 5: is difficult, which is why you know, a lot of 95 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 5: people try to make friends through UNI or work, but 96 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 5: it is not easy to build connections with other people. 97 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 5: Like I think we really oversimplify it, like and had 98 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 5: this expectation and that if you don't have these lifelong 99 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 5: friends and there's something wrong with you and you're evil. 100 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 4: No, I don't agree with that. What they do agree with. 101 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 5: The red flag in that situation is if someone has 102 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 5: no friends but they bitch about every single person that 103 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 5: they've ever been friends with, that's the red flag. 104 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like all of their previous friendships ended in 105 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 3: some dramatic conflict where they were always the victim and 106 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 3: their other friends were in quotation marks crazy. Yeah, Like 107 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 3: that's a red flag if they seem to be the 108 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 3: common denominator in drama in their friendships and whether or 109 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 3: not they don't have any long term friends, or they 110 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 3: do have long term friends but they bitch about them a. 111 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 2: Lot, that's a red flag. 112 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 3: There's a difference between venting about a friend to someone 113 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: because you're always going to do that, like, let's be real, 114 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 3: But the difference is if they're bitching about all of 115 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 3: their friends and all the time, if that's like their 116 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 3: only point of conversation, that's a red flag. 117 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 5: It's like bitching and gossiping are the same thing, and 118 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 5: so it's like, actually, maybe not, because gossiping is something 119 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 5: that we've kind of deemed that you're not directly involved in. 120 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 5: So like venting and gossiping are two different things because 121 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 5: venting is something that you're directly involved in and you 122 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,479 Speaker 5: probably need to get off your chest. 123 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 3: And when you spend a lot of time with friends, 124 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 3: there's gonna be moments in time that your friends piss 125 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 3: you off, Like it's just statistically going to happen, just. 126 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 2: Like any other relationship. 127 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 5: But a friend or a person that is continuously gossiping 128 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 5: about things that they weren't necessarily involved in or bitching 129 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 5: about things that wasn't necessarily the situation or just again 130 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 5: didn't directly involve them is just the biggest red flag. 131 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 5: And it also just sets a foundation for a bad 132 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 5: friendship because it's all about like energy, and if your 133 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 5: energy is constantly about negative things, it's going to be 134 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 5: a negative friendship. Yeah, and you just can't trust someone 135 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 5: like that either. No, I would never tell a secret 136 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 5: till someone that was constantly bitching. Yeah. 137 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 2: That's also a lesson. 138 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 5: Another life lesson from the chicks. You don't have to 139 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 5: talk every day. Everyone gets busy in their own lives. 140 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 3: I think so many people can relate to this, especially 141 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 3: as you grow older and life does get busier. Like 142 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 3: some of the best friendships are the ones where you 143 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 3: only talk every other week or sometimes every other month. 144 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 3: And you know, we do always say that friendships are 145 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 3: a reason a season or a lifetime, and sometimes those 146 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 3: lifetime friendships are the ones that you don't always talk 147 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 3: to them. You're not seeing them every single day because 148 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 3: maybe they live in a different state, or maybe they 149 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 3: have a family now so they're a little bit more busy, 150 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 3: or whatever the case may be. But when you do 151 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 3: get together or you do speak again, it's like. 152 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 2: No time has passed and there's no distance between you. 153 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 3: And even if you don't talk every single day, you 154 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 3: know that you can still rely on them in the 155 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 3: moments when you need them. 156 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think a lot of people who have a 157 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,239 Speaker 5: life distance friendship could probably relate to this a lot, 158 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 5: because long distance friendships are just a different type of heartache, 159 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 5: especially when you started out not being long distance, when 160 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 5: you were literally five minutes away from each other and 161 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 5: you didn't appreciate it for what it was, and not 162 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 5: that you should have been doing that because you didn't 163 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 5: know any different. But when you have a long distance friendship, 164 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 5: it's this massive evolution that you go through because you 165 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 5: go from not really having to make an effort to 166 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 5: having to make all the effort, Like all your interaction 167 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 5: has to be effort. And we do go into it 168 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 5: in the book and how you can build like an 169 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 5: anchor in the friendship. But like my two best friends, 170 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 5: I've got three best friends that moved away. Yeah, but 171 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 5: one that moved to Melbourne, one that moved to New Zealand, 172 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 5: and one that moved to Ireland. 173 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 4: Do you think that was the common denomina. 174 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 2: All I have something to tell you. 175 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 5: If you fucking moved, I would be up rooting my life. 176 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 2: And moving with you. 177 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 4: I've told you this before. You like, maybe I've moved 178 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 4: to New Zealand. I was like, well, guess I'm moving 179 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 4: to New Zealand. 180 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 3: We'll buy a duplex and Arrowtown because we can go 181 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 3: hang out with the Morning Shift podcast, our best friends. 182 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 4: I love them. They have no idea we exist. Everyone. 183 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 5: If you're listening to this, go on the most recent 184 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 5: post from the Morning Shift and just be like, at 185 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 5: two broach Chicks is really cool, and then maybe they'll 186 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 5: notice us. 187 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, we want to get them on the show. 188 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 4: We love them. 189 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:35,559 Speaker 3: Are getting shy. 190 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 2: Go red, were fangirl cool? 191 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 4: We just said we're cool. 192 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sorry, yeah, we'll cut that. I'm joking, but yeah. 193 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 5: I think it's this moment with a long distance friend 194 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 5: that you realize everything that was easy is now hard, 195 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 5: and it really does take a lot of effort one 196 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 5: to like kind of move past that and accept that 197 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 5: the friendship is now going to be different and to 198 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 5: take the time to put in the effort. So, like 199 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 5: a few things that you can do is, you know, 200 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 5: making time to book in the calls, and have those conversations, 201 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 5: but don't make them like a meeting. 202 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 4: They don't have an agenda. 203 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 5: That's like, so on Saturday at eight am, I went 204 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 5: and saw my parents and they're good, and then they 205 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 5: got a review at work on Wednesday, Like talk about 206 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 5: nothing that matters obviously the important stuff and when that 207 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 5: needs to happen, that needs to happen. 208 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 4: But friendship shouldn't be work, but you have to put 209 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 4: work in. And I that shit a shot, but that 210 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 4: JA shirt. Oh God, I'm coining it. 211 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 2: God help us all. 212 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 4: Okay, So this one isn't a life lesson. 213 00:10:55,920 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 5: This one is a question, and I think it's really 214 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 5: really valid, and it says, is it okay to love 215 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 5: your current friends but also crave new connections? 216 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 4: I think so one hundred percent. 217 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 3: No one person can fill every single cup in your life. 218 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 3: And also, as you grow and evolve, you're going to 219 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,560 Speaker 3: want to meet other people that challenge you or perhaps 220 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 3: align with your. 221 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 4: Values more like that's what life is all about. 222 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 2: Like meaningful connections with people. 223 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 3: I don't think you're like, Okay, well that average person 224 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 3: has five friends. 225 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,599 Speaker 2: I got five friends. Yeah that's it. 226 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 4: You're like you're never like done. 227 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not like you don't just tick a box 228 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 5: because the main essence of everything that we've learned and 229 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 5: the first line so to be a pluggy bitch, But 230 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 5: the first line is you haven't met all the people 231 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 5: that will love you yet, And like the book was 232 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 5: written to help you find them, but you kind of 233 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 5: never find all the people that will love you. Yet 234 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 5: you're constantly reaching and meeting new people. That there's nothing 235 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 5: wrong with wanting to crave new connections and new interactions 236 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 5: and new relationships in your life. It doesn't take away 237 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 5: from the friendships that you have. It doesn't mean they're 238 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 5: missing anything. That's where the whole seven friend theory comes 239 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 5: about exactly like what you're saying, there's not one person 240 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 5: that can feel every single thing that you need. And 241 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 5: also sometimes you're not aware of those things, yeah, or. 242 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 2: You might need at different times of your life. 243 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 5: Yes, well, but friendships manifest in such different ways. You 244 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:36,439 Speaker 5: can have multiple best friends and they can feed you 245 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 5: and your heart. 246 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 4: And your soul in so many different ways. 247 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 3: And I want to say as well that no good 248 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 3: friend is going to be threatened or jealous by you 249 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 3: making other friends like they're going to want to see 250 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:54,840 Speaker 3: you happy and fulfilled and making other relationships in your life. 251 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 3: I think if you're still maintaining a relationship. 252 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 5: That I'm going to say, and you haven't completely dropped, yeah, yeah, 253 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 5: like it comes because sometimes you can get a bit 254 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 5: wrapped up, you get in the honeymoon phase. Ye, right, 255 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 5: and then you maybe don't give as much attention to 256 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 5: your other friendships. 257 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 4: And then that's maybe when it's valid for them to 258 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 4: be like, hey, can I get Can I get a bone? 259 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 5: Yeah? 260 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 4: You know? Can I get a crumb? 261 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 5: Yeah? 262 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 4: Can I get a Can I get a ham sandwich? 263 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 4: I get a bone? 264 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 3: But if you feel like you are still giving attention 265 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 3: and time and space to that friendship, but they're getting jealous. 266 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,679 Speaker 4: Just sometimes some friends are just dicks. 267 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, just because you have a new friend that's not 268 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 3: a good friend. 269 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 4: That's a sign of a toxic friendship. 270 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 5: If they don't allow you to have other friends, which 271 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 5: is a whole chapter. 272 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 2: Which is a whole chapter. 273 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 4: That's actually this other life lesson from Georgia. 274 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 5: She says, cut those toxic people out, And I say, Jesus, but. 275 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 1: That didn't. 276 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: It's true. 277 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,560 Speaker 5: The girl that leaves you at the club alone to 278 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 5: go home with a boy is not your friend. 279 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 3: Oh there's two sides, two sides sides, right, I think. 280 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 4: See, it depends how often this is happening. 281 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 5: I think because if my friend was if I was 282 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,120 Speaker 5: having like a girl's night with my friend and she 283 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 5: found an absolute fitty she found like a Harry Styles 284 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 5: or like a Henry Cavill, who am I to stand 285 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 5: in the way A one might stand like I'm never 286 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 5: going to be like, no, you have to stay with me. 287 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 5: Who isn't a sexy, sexy person and isn't going to 288 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 5: have sex with you? 289 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I would be like you go, yeah, you 290 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 4: climb that. I want the grapple hook and I want 291 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 4: you to put her around his bicep. I want to 292 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 4: grapple hooky way up around. That's where I like stand 293 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 4: on that. 294 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 5: However, if this is like a repeat offender and they 295 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 5: going with like I sid the sloth, yeah every time. 296 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 5: And I mean that like personality wise, actually this has 297 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 5: a lovely personality. 298 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 4: Sorry about that. I know who's who's a slime ball? 299 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 4: Who's a drongo? 300 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 2: Ooh what's his name from Monsters inc? 301 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 4: Oh? Randal? Randal with a Randall? 302 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 5: No, Yeah, see, we've got to have some some boundaries 303 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 5: that like if they're constantly dropping you for like no reason, 304 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 5: just to like you're basically their ticket to like go 305 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 5: out and meet someone, and you're like the in between 306 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 5: things so that they don't have to go out by themselves. 307 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 4: I totally get that. 308 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, that would be so frustrated. 309 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 4: You'd feel used. 310 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're like, I'm here to have a good 311 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 3: time with my friend and every single time you're ditching 312 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 3: me and going home with somebody, Like that would be 313 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 3: so frustrating. 314 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 2: I completely get that. 315 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 3: But if it is just a one time thing or 316 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 3: like your friend is like going through, you know. 317 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: Their single phase. They're putting themselves out there. 318 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 5: But that that friend might be single too, Like maybe 319 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 5: that friend thinks that that's a mutual understanding of what 320 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 5: you're doing. 321 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're going out on the pool, So. 322 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 2: I've got to say something. 323 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 3: That's what I mean, Like you've got to be like, 324 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 3: you've ditched me like six times for a guy. 325 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's pissing me off. Yeah, I'd be. 326 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 2: Like, can we have a girl's night? 327 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 4: But girls night when you're single can sometimes mean that 328 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 4: we're going out on the pool. 329 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 3: No, but I was going to say a girl's night 330 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 3: where we spend time together. We're not going to go flirting, 331 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 3: we're not looking to pursue anyone. We're going to go 332 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 3: home together and get a kebab on the way home. 333 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 2: It's a grade. 334 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. 335 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 5: I do think though, if that friend isn't like a 336 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 5: repeat offender of doing that, having flexibility in that situation 337 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 5: is really because that's literally how I met my partner, 338 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 5: because we were going out for a girl's night and then. 339 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,640 Speaker 4: We're like, oh, we'll stop in at this gallo and. 340 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,399 Speaker 5: Then we were I don't know why I'm when we 341 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 5: ever say that, but literally like we were having a 342 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 5: girl's night and then I met my boyfriend there and 343 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,959 Speaker 5: it was like instant sparks and I was like and 344 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 5: sal like didn't make me feel bad about wanting to 345 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 5: stay because I was like, oh, we can go, and 346 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 5: so I was like. 347 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 4: We're not going, Yeah, be silly bugger. 348 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 5: Yeah. 349 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 4: I don't know why I'm so Australian in this episode. 350 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 2: It's the hat. 351 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 4: It's do you know what it is? I watched anyone 352 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 4: but you last night. I'm the dad, Yeah, the stepdad. 353 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 4: That's like really azzy, that's what it is yeah really. 354 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 2: Oker, Yeah, I love it. 355 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,879 Speaker 5: But yeah, I think there's like a fine line with that. 356 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 5: It's like supporting your friends when they want to get 357 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 5: dick down and then also drawing the line when they're 358 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 5: being a dick to you down. 359 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 2: When you're getting dicked down by then, Yeah, but none 360 00:17:59,600 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 2: of the fun. 361 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 3: There was a longer one that was sent in that 362 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 3: I thought was good, and I think a lot of 363 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 3: chicks will be able to relate to. And it's don't 364 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 3: undervalue having a small group of friends. When I was younger, 365 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 3: I would sometimes feel insecure about not having a huge 366 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 3: group of friends. But I have come to realize that 367 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 3: quality over quantity is far more important when it comes 368 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 3: to friendships one percent. Like, if you do have a 369 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 3: huge group of friends and they're all genuine, great, amazing friendships, 370 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 3: that's incredible. 371 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that. 372 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 3: But also if you have two besties and it's just 373 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,200 Speaker 3: the three of you against the world, that's also beautiful. 374 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 5: Those are also sometimes the funnest friendships you can ever have. 375 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I feel like you can just maintain a 376 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 3: really genuine connection when it is those quality friendships, because 377 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 3: it's really hard to juggle lot friendship groups are like 378 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:57,880 Speaker 3: top tier. 379 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,640 Speaker 5: There's something about like a little trio on a night out. 380 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 5: Look look at every good pop culture reference, Charlie's Angels, 381 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 5: powerpuff Girls, Charmed, Totally Spies, just saying maybe. 382 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 2: We've got to cut the fat. 383 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 4: Sow a pair of three will hold auditions. 384 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,679 Speaker 5: No, I do also like I think it's being open, 385 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 5: like to new friendships as well, like I've definitely been. 386 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 5: I think I was definitely like no, no, no, like 387 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 5: quality over quantity and could be really shut off to 388 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 5: expanding friendships. But in my head for so long, especially 389 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 5: when I was younger, because I didn't have a group 390 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 5: of friends, I felt like there was something wrong with 391 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 5: me because I didn't have a group of friends from. 392 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 4: High school, I fucking hated high school. Yeah, high schools 393 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 4: like painted out. 394 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 5: Is this like totally amazing thing where you find your 395 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 5: people and you get along with everyone. 396 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 4: Absolutely not everyone I went to high school with. Yeah, 397 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 4: that's not true. 398 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 5: Some of you were really nice, but it was not 399 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 5: like a pleasant experience. I did not feel like I 400 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 5: belonged with people, and that made me feel like there 401 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 5: was something wrong with me, which was not the case. 402 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 5: And I then met my best friend Cassie, and it 403 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 5: was like, I have one best. 404 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 4: Friend from high school. I have one friend to show 405 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:16,719 Speaker 4: from high school. 406 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 5: That doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me, but 407 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 5: that the quality of that friendship is going to last 408 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 5: me an absolute lifetime. 409 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 3: You know, in comparison to a click Yeah, a bunch 410 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,479 Speaker 3: of like fair weather friends, Yeah, actually have a genuine 411 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 3: connection with. 412 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 5: So like, if you feel like you are lacking because 413 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 5: you don't have this big, giant friendship group, which you 414 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 5: know you can really often see all over Facebook. A 415 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 5: lot of the time, those friendships aren't fostered, and they 416 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 5: can be quite surface. 417 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 4: Level, like those like big group parties. That's when people 418 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 4: see each other. 419 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 3: They don't spend quality nights in together, you know, watching 420 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 3: a movie or cooking dinner together and really talk talking about. 421 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,760 Speaker 4: You know, the highs and lows of high school football. 422 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 5: But those quality friendships is when you really truly are 423 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 5: able to see someone for their soul rather than like 424 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 5: whether they're drinking fucking vodkirl tequila at the next party. Yeah, 425 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 5: you know, do you know what I'm shame share, I'm 426 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 5: shame next life Lesson. The song's from Emily See if 427 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:25,360 Speaker 5: the friendship survives the holiday. Yeah, not all friendships will 428 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 5: make it. 429 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,959 Speaker 3: I feel like holidays and moving in together, both of 430 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,160 Speaker 3: those things can make or break a friendship, and they're 431 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,160 Speaker 3: not for the fainthearted. 432 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 4: Where do you sit on moving in with a friend? 433 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 2: I think it's one thousand percent contextual. 434 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's situational. 435 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like you need to know that you are compatible 436 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 3: with this person in your lowest of lows and your 437 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 3: highest of highs. Because just like going on a holiday 438 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 3: with somebody, when you live together, you're going to see 439 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 3: that range of emotions and you need to know if 440 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 3: you may be good friends, you may have heaps in common, 441 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 3: have a lovely time together, but that doesn't. 442 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,640 Speaker 2: Mean that you're compatible housemates. 443 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 3: Like if you're a clean freak and the other person 444 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 3: is a little bit more lax, them not doing their 445 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 3: dishes every single day is something that could break your friendship. 446 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,440 Speaker 5: You also need to learn how to have conflict within 447 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 5: your friendships. Yeah, you need to learn how to navigate 448 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 5: when someone has upset the other one or maybe you've 449 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 5: both annoyed each other, and learn how to one talk 450 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,199 Speaker 5: to each other about it and to move on, like 451 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,680 Speaker 5: actually let it go. It's like I've lived with best 452 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 5: friends and we buttered heads about things, very stupid things, 453 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 5: most of the time alcohol was involved, and the next 454 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 5: day it was like fuck, I'm sorry, Yeah, I'm sorry, 455 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 5: or in the moment being like yeah, I get to you, 456 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 5: I'm sorry, and like not withholding that sorry, like it's 457 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 5: the holy grail. 458 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's a skill knowing how to confront that 459 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,160 Speaker 3: and have that honest conversation and admit when you're wrong, because. 460 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 4: If you don't confronted it, it's going to boil. 461 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, it would only it only gets worse and worse. 462 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 3: But I agree, Like, I've moved in with one of 463 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 3: my best friends when I was in my early twenties, 464 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 3: and I had the best experience. It was so much 465 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 3: fun and it was such an amazing chapter in our 466 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 3: friendship and I'm so glad I did it because so 467 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,919 Speaker 3: many people, not about her specifically, but we're just like, 468 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,159 Speaker 3: I don't know, people always say don't move in with 469 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 3: a friend, and I'm really glad I didn't listen to 470 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 3: that advice and was just like, well, we've been friends 471 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:32,120 Speaker 3: for fifteen plus years at this point, I know her 472 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 3: pretty well. We have really open communication. I think we'll 473 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 3: be okay because. 474 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,679 Speaker 4: It was so much fun one thousand percent. So it 475 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 4: depends so asterixk okay. 476 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 5: So we go into advice with the chicks. 477 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 4: I need some advice. 478 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 5: In short, my question is how do I pull away 479 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,679 Speaker 5: or pull back from best friend of ten years. I 480 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 5: don't think I want to cut her off, but I 481 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 5: need some space. 482 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:05,200 Speaker 4: At the very least. 483 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 5: My best friend and I have been friends for ten 484 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 5: years and best friends for the last five to seven years. 485 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 5: We do most things together now and even have a 486 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 5: weekly standing hangout night. 487 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:16,919 Speaker 4: Her idea. 488 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,639 Speaker 5: We've always bonded over certain shared family traumas, and she 489 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,960 Speaker 5: was there for me when my ex stumped me years ago, 490 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 5: despite the fact I hadn't been a very consistent friend 491 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 5: to her throughout my relationship with him. In the last 492 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 5: few years, I've become quite a fitness girly, and now 493 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 5: I compete embraces and the like. We used to have 494 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 5: almost the exact same hobbies and similar style, reading TV shows, 495 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 5: weekend wines, etc. I've found my hobbies and social outings 496 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 5: have changed. I don't have as much time for books 497 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,119 Speaker 5: and TV. I attend run clubs and train heavily, and 498 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 5: I don't drink my style has done a one eighty, 499 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 5: and I find we don't connect on these levels as 500 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 5: much anymore. 501 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 4: Our shared family. 502 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 5: Trauma changed a little when my mum got very sick 503 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,679 Speaker 5: a few years ago. My friend almost never addresses it 504 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 5: or asks how Mum is or I am, but continues 505 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 5: to vent about situations in her household that I feel 506 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 5: a rather insensitive given my situation financially and emotionally. I 507 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 5: stopped reaching out to her to talk about Mum because 508 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 5: she honestly sounds like she doesn't care much and then 509 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 5: changes the subject when I've finished talking. We've recently went 510 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 5: away together for a week on a road trip, and 511 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 5: certain things she did scream to me a level of 512 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,719 Speaker 5: privilege and unawareness that made my blood boil. She wouldn't 513 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 5: let me drive the whole week because apparently my driving 514 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,439 Speaker 5: would make her feel sick, and complained often about trivial things. 515 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 5: It felt as though she would give me the silent 516 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 5: treatment or be irritated if I asked to do longer 517 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 5: walks or small hikes no more than two to three kilometers, 518 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,400 Speaker 5: which she didn't feel fit enough for, and got irritated 519 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 5: when I suggested I do them alone and meet her somewhere. 520 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 5: The trip was initially my plan, an idea to do 521 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 5: solo to get photography content for my business. She invited 522 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 5: herself and I didn't have the heart to tell her no. 523 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 5: I checked with her before she went if she would 524 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 5: have an issue with me doing hikes, et cetera solo, 525 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 5: and she said no. 526 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 3: She often blocked photos and got irritated if I asked 527 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 3: her to move after a few minutes so I could 528 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 3: get a shot, and at the end of the trip 529 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 3: criticized me for not trusting her throughout it. 530 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 4: I'm at a loss. I felt like pulling back. 531 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 3: Since before the trip, but I'm not sure how I 532 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:19,440 Speaker 3: need space from her. 533 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 4: Please help? 534 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,439 Speaker 2: Where do we start? 535 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 4: Oh, there's so much, there's so much to pay. 536 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,479 Speaker 5: I think this is really a typical case of like 537 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 5: outgrowing a certain lifestyle within a friendship. Like maybe I 538 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:42,160 Speaker 5: haven't outgrown her completely, but you've definitely outgrown the friendship 539 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 5: you used to have. Like that's not the same, and 540 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:51,119 Speaker 5: sometimes some friends can't come to terms with that. She 541 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 5: does sound like she might be like digging your heels 542 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 5: in a bit. Yeah, like she really wants her old 543 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,439 Speaker 5: friend back, but that's not you anymore, and that's okay. 544 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 3: You don't have to be you anymore. Like you're happy 545 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 3: with the changes that you've made in your life. You've 546 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 3: evolved exactly, you've evolved, and it sounds like she is 547 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,720 Speaker 3: still who she is, which she's also allowed to be that. 548 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, but the friendship needs to evolve. 549 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, because what I was going to say at the 550 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,640 Speaker 3: beginning is a lot of the things that have changed. 551 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: So for example, like her. 552 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 3: Hobbies or her style or the things that you know 553 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,160 Speaker 3: she likes to do with her spare time have changed. 554 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 3: But they're all like pretty surface level things that I 555 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 3: feel like, even if you're in. 556 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 2: A run club and I'm not, we can still be friends. Yeah, 557 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,399 Speaker 2: and that's fine. 558 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 3: But I think your friend is struggling with that change 559 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,240 Speaker 3: because if they're giving you the silent treatment and getting 560 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 3: snippy with you and getting annoyed that you wanted to 561 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 3: go on a hike and they didn't like, That's where 562 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, well, it actually isn't fine because it's 563 00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 3: coming in between your friendship. I think that you definitely 564 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 3: need same space. I would suggest saying to your friend 565 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 3: that you're really busy with work and pulling back on 566 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,680 Speaker 3: those weekly catch ups and maybe make. 567 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 2: Them fortnightly or monthly. 568 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, and not putting an end to them completely because 569 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 3: I think that you're both getting on each other's nerves. 570 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,439 Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds and you know what, she is probably 571 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 5: annoyed about things, being like all she wanted to do 572 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 5: was go on hikes and blah blah blah, which isn't 573 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 5: the case, like when you're irritated with a friend, like 574 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 5: sometimes all you can focus on is the little things 575 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,880 Speaker 5: that irritate you and then it just bubbles and boils. Yeah, 576 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 5: but yeah, I would maybe say, like, you've really got 577 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,080 Speaker 5: to focus on your business for the next three weeks, 578 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 5: do you mind if we put a pause or our 579 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 5: don't say do you mind, actually say, I'll need to 580 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 5: put a pause on our weekly nights, but I'll check 581 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 5: in with you when I've got some more free time. 582 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 5: So it's setting a boundary. Like, what you're going to 583 00:28:58,560 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 5: be doing is you're going to be setting a boundary. 584 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 5: And I know that that can be really scary and 585 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 5: it can be really difficult to do, but for the 586 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 5: sake of your friendship, this is something that you need 587 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 5: to do. And people will show their colors when you 588 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 5: set a boundary. If someone can't respect a boundary that 589 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 5: you're setting that kind of has everything you need to know. 590 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I do think that you do need to 591 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,360 Speaker 3: have some space between you two because it seems like 592 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 3: it's quite heated right now. Because my other part two 593 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 3: of the advice would be to talk to them about 594 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 3: it and say, when we went on our trip the 595 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 3: other week, you seemed like you were annoyed with me, 596 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 3: and you know, there were moments where I felt like 597 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 3: you were giving me the cold shoulder, Like can we 598 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,120 Speaker 3: talk about it? It is just something that we can 599 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 3: work through, because if it's a friendship that you do 600 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 3: want to continue, it could be worth having that conversation, 601 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 3: especially if you do have space and. 602 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 2: The issues are still coming up. 603 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, but I feel about the family stuff, I think 604 00:29:58,560 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 5: she just needs it needs. 605 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 3: To be m Yeah, but even with the family stuff, 606 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 3: like you can potentially bring that up. And so I 607 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 3: feel like I've been trying to share with you what 608 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 3: I'm going through and it seems like you're not as 609 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 3: invested in that or you're not giving me the space. 610 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 2: To talk about it. 611 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 3: But I really would love to speak to you about 612 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 3: it because I need somebody to vent to and give 613 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 3: that space because yeah, I'm not sure if they're just 614 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 3: like feeling awkward about it or if they're genuinely being selfish. 615 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:31,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, take some time for yourself. 616 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, and just yeah, feel like works really busy for 617 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 5: the next three weeks. I'm going to need to put 618 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 5: a pause in our weekly night and I'll check back 619 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 5: in when things ease up a little bit and then 620 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 5: just have a breather, because a weekly check in when 621 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 5: you're not vibing. 622 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,600 Speaker 4: It, it's just lots to me. 623 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 5: It's a lot, it's to me, But it sounds like 624 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 5: you've made an amazing evolution, like in your life and 625 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 5: joining a rugging club. 626 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 2: And pursuing your passions. 627 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, like we said before, you know, developing new friendships 628 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 5: does not take away from your existing ones. So maybe 629 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 5: look at fostering some other friendships too that you feel 630 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 5: tick the boxes that aren't being ticked. 631 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 4: Right now, and then maybe they will alleviate. 632 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 5: Some of the frustrations you're feeling within this friendship. 633 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 4: But hopefully that helps viber girl girrel bybe the girl. 634 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,680 Speaker 4: And that's you know, a rap. Sorry we couldn't share 635 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 4: all of them. There was actually so. 636 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 2: Many, so many, Thank you, so much for sending them 637 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 2: all in. 638 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's best. Maybe we'll share a couple on our 639 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 4: story that we didn't read out. 640 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 3: But. 641 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:41,480 Speaker 4: Please pretty please support the chicks. 642 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 5: And if you guys could, sorry, I'm losing it, Okay, 643 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 5: let's come back. 644 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 4: Well that is a rap for this episode. 645 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 5: And like we said at the start, we are so 646 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 5: so so excited for you chicks to get your hands 647 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 5: on finding your people. And I did want to read 648 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 5: one final life lesson to end on, which was sent 649 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 5: in by Sarah and she said her biggest life lesson 650 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 5: of friendship is eventually your people will come beautiful and 651 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 5: we couldn't agree more so. Yeah, if you do want 652 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 5: to get your hands in our book, we would absolutely 653 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 5: absolutely love it and it's available in show notes, blue. 654 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 2: Yep, physical e reader audiobook. We've got it. 655 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 5: All and thank you for letting us plug the shit 656 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 5: out of it because we're so proud of it and 657 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 5: it's probably getting annoying, but I'm like, now. 658 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 3: You only release your first book one yeh, thanks for 659 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 3: letting us milk. 660 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:44,480 Speaker 2: We're just milking the moment exactly. Love you chicks so much. 661 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 4: I'm losing my voice. That's not good. 662 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:48,040 Speaker 2: That's not good. 663 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 4: This is not good at all, all right, Well, love 664 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 4: you chicks. 665 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 5: Thank you to MK Made for making this episode of 666 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 5: Two Broad Chicks happen, and thank you to you cheeks 667 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 5: for having us in your ear holes. 668 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,960 Speaker 4: We absolutely love to be here. 669 00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 2: We love it. 670 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 4: Protects side bestie 671 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:14,240 Speaker 1: M