Speaker 1: Avoidance works temporarily where you're like trying to make out
Speaker 1: that you're busy, but you're just avoiding the actual thing
Speaker 1: you need to be doing. Temporarily, the anxiety drops and
Speaker 1: you feel better, so your brain goes perfect, let's do
Speaker 1: that again, And that is negative reinforcement. The relief literally
Speaker 1: trains you to keep avoiding except the task still there,
Speaker 1: and now you've stacked, you're.
Speaker 2: On top of it.
Speaker 1: Ever since I can remember, I've always had crippling anxiety
Speaker 1: and issues with starting the most simple tasks. Like I
Speaker 1: remember being a kid and you know, looking at my
Speaker 1: messy room and it feeling like a mountain of a
Speaker 1: task and just not knowing where to start. Or it
Speaker 1: could be something just so simple, like having to do
Speaker 1: one little thing. And I've noticed this more as an adult.
Speaker 1: And the thing is with this, I for some reason,
Speaker 1: I struggle most with the most simple task, things that
Speaker 1: take me five minutes. It could be like a messy
Speaker 1: draw or just like ringing the doctors to book an appointment.
Speaker 1: And for so so long until I really understood my
Speaker 1: brain better, I thought it was a flaw. I just
Speaker 1: thought I was lazy. But when you zoom out, you know,
Speaker 1: most of us that feel like we're lazy, we're anything
Speaker 1: but lazy.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: We have the families, we have the careers, we have
Speaker 1: all these things going on. We're usually the types of
Speaker 1: people that can't sit still. So was I really lazy
Speaker 1: or is it just how my brain's made up? And
Speaker 1: I'm sure you understand this feeling. It's that one task
Speaker 1: that you've been putting off for so long now that
Speaker 1: it's just grown into that mountain that I remember when
Speaker 1: I was a kid. And once you realize it isn't
Speaker 1: actually the task itself, it's the emotion. It's the potential
Speaker 1: of the outcome of the task that usually is a
Speaker 1: thing that holds us back the most, then you'll realize
Speaker 1: how you can actually work with your brain.
Speaker 2: And not against it.
Speaker 1: And it's not even that you can't be bothered doing
Speaker 1: the thing. It's usually like this sense of dread. For me,
Speaker 1: I've just always dreaded certain tasks. And you know, I
Speaker 1: was diagnosed with add when I was six years old,
Speaker 1: and you think by but you know, being diagnosed so young,
Speaker 1: and as a female back then, it like I would
Speaker 1: have figured it out by now. But the thing is,
Speaker 1: I'm still working it out even till this day, and
Speaker 1: you're an underneath it all. For some reason, I will
Speaker 1: dread sending an email, but I'll go and retoll the bathroom.
Speaker 1: And underneath it all, there's a little voice that's saying,
Speaker 1: why is this so hard for me? Why can't I
Speaker 1: physically bring myself to do this thing? And as your
Speaker 1: day goes on, it grows and grows. It kind of
Speaker 1: just like hovers it. It adds to your mental load
Speaker 1: and it feels like you're just carrying it around in
Speaker 1: like a backpack that continues to get heavier and heavier.
Speaker 2: But it has taken me until thirty five.
Speaker 1: Years old until now to realize that it's not a
Speaker 1: productivity thing, it's not a discipline thing.
Speaker 2: It's a brain thing. By the end of today's episode,
Speaker 2: you're going to understand.
Speaker 1: Why you've physically dread certain tasks and why you do
Speaker 1: tend to put them off, and why you're actually not
Speaker 1: afraid of the task itself. And I'll give you the
Speaker 1: real psychology behind you know, the sayings of eat the
Speaker 1: frog and you know, making your bed first thing in
Speaker 1: the morning, and why these things sometimes actually work or
Speaker 1: they do work, and it doesn't come down to discipline
Speaker 1: these are This is just the one hack. Honestly, this
Speaker 1: one hack I'm sharing with you today is something that
Speaker 1: will impact your entire day and it also will just
Speaker 1: help you be able to start moving through life doing
Speaker 1: what you see is hard much much easier and with
Speaker 1: a lot less friction.
Speaker 2: This episode isn't about getting more done.
Speaker 1: It's about being able to, you know, go through your
Speaker 1: days without having this thing hovering behind you, without you
Speaker 1: feeling like a failure or that you're lazy, or that
Speaker 1: you're just different to everyone else who seems to all
Speaker 1: be able to get their life admen done or do
Speaker 1: the little tasks. And you're going to be able to
Speaker 1: feel much much lighter by doing this one thing. But first,
Speaker 1: a little life update, and this is what brought on
Speaker 1: this episode.
Speaker 2: So I'm finding now.
Speaker 1: With my girls at their ages, they're eight and ten,
Speaker 1: they are going through hurdles that you know, obviously toddlers
Speaker 1: and little people don't really go through. And I've always
Speaker 1: said I didn't understand this saying until now where they
Speaker 1: say little people, little problems, big people, big problems, And
Speaker 1: now that they're becoming bigger, I'm finding the advice I'm
Speaker 1: giving them I'm needing to take myself and it's always
Speaker 1: at the right time. So recently I've touched on this
Speaker 1: last week, but one of the girls is struggling a
Speaker 1: little bit with anxiety, and you know, I'm finding that
Speaker 1: both girls, with certain things they do in the morning
Speaker 1: can create a lot of friction for them, and that
Speaker 1: if things aren't done a certain way or followed a
Speaker 1: certain way in the morning, or health breaks loose, really
Speaker 1: for everyone involved, it's not a good time. It's not
Speaker 1: a good time at the Pace household. So I've really
Speaker 1: implemented a morning routine for the girls that you know,
Speaker 1: things change that really suits their lives and their phase
Speaker 1: right now. And this thing has honestly made them so
Speaker 1: much more confident little people, especially with one of them
Speaker 1: going through anxiety at school, like it's made her so
Speaker 1: much more confident.
Speaker 2: Anyway, So how it came about.
Speaker 1: Was the girls had speeches to do, and well they're
Speaker 1: both quite you know, you know, a bit anxious about it,
Speaker 1: and they kept talking about the speech and realistically, like
Speaker 1: obviously as a kid, like writing speech and stuff with
Speaker 1: your parents or even without can seem like a daunting task.
Speaker 1: But you know, we've done a few, Well, you do
Speaker 1: a speech like once a year or once a term,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't take us long.
Speaker 2: It takes us like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Anyway, the girls were talking about this for weeks and weeks,
Speaker 1: and one morning they woke up and one of the
Speaker 1: girls was just very very stressed about this speech and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, just do the hard thing first.
Speaker 1: She's like, what do you mean, mum, And I said, well,
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning. Your brain doesn't really know
Speaker 1: what's going on yet. It's like you know how you know?
Speaker 1: For example, as I said, the task that we put off,
Speaker 1: it gets bigger as the day goes on. But if
Speaker 1: you do that thing first, there's less time to build
Speaker 1: that resistance and that friction and overthink things. So I said,
Speaker 1: do the hard thing first. It's like ripping the band
Speaker 1: aid off. And because with the way our brains you know,
Speaker 1: are in the morning, if we do the one task
Speaker 1: you put off first thing a you have less time
Speaker 1: to think about it and actually do it. And also
Speaker 1: that will mean you're less judgmental of the outcome, because
Speaker 1: I know, for me, there's certain things I do in
Speaker 1: my business. I'm like, I cannot do that in the
Speaker 1: middle of the day because I will rip it to shreds.
Speaker 2: But if I do it in the.
Speaker 1: Morning or even at night, I'm better at it for
Speaker 1: some reason, because I'm not judging it so much. But
Speaker 1: number two, if you do the hard thing first, everything
Speaker 1: after that is easier. And when I say hard thing,
Speaker 1: I don't just mean doing a big scary thing, I
Speaker 1: mean like it could be sending an email, but because
Speaker 1: that email carries a lot of weight.
Speaker 2: For you, that's hard.
Speaker 1: So if you prove to yourself I can do hard things,
Speaker 1: everything else for your day is going to be easier.
Speaker 1: So once I said this to the girls that morning,
Speaker 1: I said, why don't let's just get this speech done.
Speaker 1: Let's do the hard thing first, And then they did it,
Speaker 1: and honestly, there they look like they were free. They're
Speaker 1: on holidays, because when you think about it, we're so
Speaker 1: tied down by the things and how to do list.
Speaker 1: I you know, I think that's why I'm so much
Speaker 1: into AI for certain things, is because I really struggle
Speaker 1: to start tasks and they weigh on me so heavily.
Speaker 1: We all know about the mental load. We all have
Speaker 1: the mental load, but so much of our mental load
Speaker 1: is taken up by things that we can just tick
Speaker 1: off so easily. So now, obviously the girls don't have
Speaker 1: a speech to write every day, but I've started getting
Speaker 1: the girls and I'm going to do a whole episode
Speaker 1: on this. I'm getting the girls more involved in helping
Speaker 1: with the household now that they're older. I'm like, you
Speaker 1: can actually be involved, not and I'm not just saying
Speaker 1: clean your room, I mean like.
Speaker 2: Actually help contribute.
Speaker 1: So part of the girl's morning routine now is they
Speaker 1: unstack the dishwasher. And I thought there was going to
Speaker 1: be a lot of friction with this, but there hasn't been,
Speaker 1: and honestly, I think in their minds because it's making
Speaker 1: them feel like big girls. It gives them a responsibility.
Speaker 1: They both have so much more confidence, and they're all
Speaker 1: so much easier to get other cleaning things done, like
Speaker 1: clean your room and things like that. So that's part
Speaker 1: of our routine now. And let me tell you, it's
Speaker 1: made my life easier as well. But yeah, just like
Speaker 1: the change, and the girls like their confidence, the way
Speaker 1: they carry themselves, the way that they seem so much
Speaker 1: lighter because now they're doing even if it's unloading the dishwasher,
Speaker 1: they're doing a hard task first, and it made me
Speaker 1: realize that this isn't just a kid thing, this is
Speaker 1: a human thing, and we just need to start relearning
Speaker 1: these tricks and things.
Speaker 2: As we go as adults.
Speaker 1: Now, the whole thing with the kids also made me
Speaker 1: go out and start posting this little series. Now, as
Speaker 1: you guys know from one of my past episodes, I
Speaker 1: do this thing once a month called to Get Shit
Speaker 1: Done Day, and that's a prime example of doing the
Speaker 1: hard things, even if a hard thing means literally doing
Speaker 1: the washing. Now I have one get shit Done day
Speaker 1: a month. One is a life admin task, one is
Speaker 1: a quick win, and one thing is that annoying task
Speaker 1: you've been putting off. Now, realistically, doing these three things
Speaker 1: could take you half an hour because you know, a
Speaker 1: life admin task could be ordering online groceries, an annoying
Speaker 1: toss you've been putting off could literally be cleaning out
Speaker 1: the car, and a quick win could be just doing
Speaker 1: something simple like making a healthy meal. So that is
Speaker 1: an example of what it get shited Done day can
Speaker 1: look like. Now, once a month, I will post my
Speaker 1: get Shit dun Day in what I do. So if
Speaker 1: you don't follow me on Instagram already to make sure
Speaker 1: you do. But I started including on these posts the
Speaker 1: time I spent avoiding this task and then the time
Speaker 1: it actually took to do the task. And it's pretty
Speaker 1: funny when you look at it, because it will say
Speaker 1: time avoided for most things. Like one was cleaning my
Speaker 1: office which was last month, and I think I avoided
Speaker 1: that task for ret least three or four months, and
Speaker 1: it took me like forty five minutes or something. And
Speaker 1: then another one was I think for this month was
Speaker 1: clean out my handbag and I avoided that task for
Speaker 1: six months and it took me five minutes. Like and
Speaker 1: you need to remember to you, every time you see
Speaker 1: that task that you keep pushing back and pushing back,
Speaker 1: that's you could be in like such a good mood
Speaker 1: and it's gonna instantly bring you down and fill you
Speaker 1: with you know, a lot of emotions. And again like,
Speaker 1: it's not the task itself, it's the emotions to to it.
Speaker 1: Now this might surprise you, but for me, one really
Speaker 1: hard task, and I've struggled with this for a long
Speaker 1: time is social media posts.
Speaker 2: Yes, so literally the thing I.
Speaker 1: Somehow used to be able to do without any pressure
Speaker 1: on myself.
Speaker 2: Like I remember back when I started.
Speaker 1: For years, I would just post whatever, and I know,
Speaker 1: like social media has changed a lot, so it's kind
Speaker 1: of valid as well because when I back in my day,
Speaker 1: we would literally post a photo and then I'd write
Speaker 1: a really long caption because I just love writing, So
Speaker 1: that's kind of where it stemmed from for me. And
Speaker 1: also the blog, so there wasn't like a whole big
Speaker 1: production needed. And now when you're scrolling, there's like so
Speaker 1: many reels and there's so much happening and it's very overwhelming.
Speaker 1: And for me, I actually don't really scroll socials anymore
Speaker 1: because it just for me, it's like a reminder of
Speaker 1: work and things I should be doing, and I just
Speaker 1: don't enjoy it as much anymore. So I end up
Speaker 1: I'm not perfect. I scroll like Amazon and shit, like
Speaker 1: I do other dumb shit on the internet, but social
Speaker 1: media is not like a big thing I do at
Speaker 1: the moment. I do love a good like rabbit hole search,
Speaker 1: so like especially in Reddit. I love Reddit at the moment.
Speaker 1: But for me, you'd think for me, posting would be
Speaker 1: second nature. And if I'm really honest, I'm not scared
Speaker 1: to make the post. I'm scared to post the post.
Speaker 1: What I'm scared of is the outcome. You see, I have,
Speaker 1: sadly still have high expectations of myself, which I'm working on.
Speaker 2: But that is a bit of a second nature to me.
Speaker 1: So I'm not scared of creating, going in in Canva
Speaker 1: and putting some things together, which I wish it was
Speaker 1: that quick. I'm not scared of actually making a post.
Speaker 1: I'm scared of the outcome, my emotion attached to it,
Speaker 1: the possibilities of the outcome, like could it go shit?
Speaker 2: Could it go good?
Speaker 1: And it's just like I will constantly put it off,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm scared that it's not going to land
Speaker 1: the same way as it does in my head. I
Speaker 1: might think the post is a banger and it goes shit,
Speaker 1: and then it's always the post that take you two
Speaker 1: seconds you don't think about that go off. So I
Speaker 1: finally figured out I wasn't avoiding the task, I was
Speaker 1: avoiding the feeling because I'm a perfectionist. Like for example,
Speaker 1: another thing I tend to avoid is which is not
Speaker 1: good is certain health appointments. Now, as you guys know,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of health anxiety from my childhood
Speaker 1: and things like that, So I figured out that I
Speaker 1: will always put off anything health related, but I still
Speaker 1: look when I say that, I don't do it for
Speaker 1: too long, but I will really struggle with it, like
Speaker 1: I'll do it because I know I have to, but
Speaker 1: it's painful for me, Like it's painful. But this is
Speaker 1: where you can also kind of start, you know, recording
Speaker 1: things you're avoiding for how long, but how long they
Speaker 1: actually take you because what that is that creates evidence
Speaker 1: and receipts to show you that it's actually not that bad.
Speaker 1: It's funny how I will greatly underestimate how long tasks
Speaker 1: can take. Like, you know, if I'm feeling like a
Speaker 1: bit optimistic that day, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: can record a podcast in five minutes.
Speaker 2: Of course I can't.
Speaker 1: But if I'm having a day or maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: feeling super comfort in things, and obviously being on camera
Speaker 1: and recording yourself can be putting yourself out there. If
Speaker 1: I'm in my lude, your phase, you bet I'll be like, no,
Speaker 1: that's going to take me six hours to record a
Speaker 1: five minute podcast, which obviously don't do five minute podcasts.
Speaker 2: But you get my gist. So what I want you
Speaker 2: guys to do at home.
Speaker 1: This is going to be your first takeaway for helping
Speaker 1: you guys do the hard thing. First is I want
Speaker 1: you to keep like a little notebook or even the
Speaker 1: notes in your notes app. But I do warn you
Speaker 1: they will get lost in the little universe in your phone.
Speaker 1: But keep a little reference point of things you avoid
Speaker 1: and then how long they actually take you. And have
Speaker 1: you ever noticed once you've actually done the thing you've
Speaker 1: been putting off for so long, you feel so bloody good.
Speaker 1: You're like, I can do anything now, Just like my
Speaker 1: kids in the morning, once they did the dishwasher and
Speaker 1: they did their speech, They're like, this, my life is
Speaker 1: so easy, Like look what I just did.
Speaker 2: You have so much more self confidence.
Speaker 1: And that comes with like I said last week in
Speaker 1: my episode, self trust comes from doing the things you
Speaker 1: said you would. That's where you get confidence from. So
Speaker 1: the more you can work that muscle and do the thing,
Speaker 1: the easier it gets.
Speaker 2: And it also does come from like the unknown, like our.
Speaker 1: Brain will protect us from things that you know, doing
Speaker 1: things that has an outcome we are not sure or
Speaker 1: that we don't know about. So that's why you know
Speaker 1: you don't maybe you know, starting a new job you
Speaker 1: have never been in like that feels terrifying, or even
Speaker 1: like public speaking, because our brain's like, no, we don't
Speaker 1: do this every day. This isn't safe, and that's when
Speaker 1: the anxiety kicks in. But if you can do the
Speaker 1: thing improve to yourself, you can do hard things and
Speaker 1: actually be pretty good at them. You might just learn
Speaker 1: a new skill and you will start getting way more confident. Like,
Speaker 1: for example, I was never able to do public speaking,
Speaker 1: which is wild, like I would at Uni. I've told
Speaker 1: you guys this story that's in my book, which also
Speaker 1: you need. You guys need to grab Mastering my Messy Life.
Speaker 1: I think I need a version two already good Mastering
Speaker 1: my Messier Life, because somehow it just keeps getting messier.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I would when I was at UNI doing
Speaker 1: my degree, I would literally have to go to the
Speaker 1: Unibar and skull Beer to do any type of pub speaking.
Speaker 1: And now here I am. I have a podcast with Nova,
Speaker 1: I go on TV. I do love events like I'm
Speaker 1: literally speaking at an event on Friday, and yes, I
Speaker 1: will be angry, like nervous, but I've proven to you
Speaker 1: myself I can do hard things and that is a
Speaker 1: receipt for me. So whenever I get nervous about this thing,
Speaker 1: I look at the receipts and be like, dude, you
Speaker 1: can do this in your sleep. Now, when I was
Speaker 1: doing research with this podcast, I came across the term
Speaker 1: avoidance loop.
Speaker 2: Now, avoidance loop is basically.
Speaker 1: When you know, when you've got this thing to do,
Speaker 1: but you will do anything else you can think of
Speaker 1: to seem busy, to trick yourself into feeling like what
Speaker 1: you're doing is okay and it's productive, instead of doing
Speaker 1: the actual thing.
Speaker 2: And that's called an avoidance loop.
Speaker 1: And that's what makes avoidance so sneaky is it's not
Speaker 1: you sitting around doing jackshit. It's you looking busy to
Speaker 1: self consciously like trick yourself and being like, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't have time to do the one thing I'm
Speaker 1: avoiding because I have all these other things to do instead.
Speaker 1: But you know, you're just making that task grow and
Speaker 1: grow and grow. You know, you answer the emails, you
Speaker 1: clean the kitchen, you're making the lunches for your kids,
Speaker 1: which is all well and good, but hey, you've got
Speaker 1: that project due literally at three pm, bro. And then, sadly,
Speaker 1: because we need pressure to actually do the thing you're
Speaker 1: going to have a little punic attack later and really
Speaker 1: regret not doing the thing earlier, you know, And I
Speaker 1: know this whole episode is pretty ironic considering you know,
Speaker 1: I own a planner company and a planer brand. But
Speaker 1: I think that's why I'm always just being so big
Speaker 1: on the reason why I make the types of planners
Speaker 1: and tools I do. It's because it's for messy minds.
Speaker 1: It's to help you organize the overwhelm. Like so many
Speaker 1: other planned companies and brands, which are all gorgeous as well,
Speaker 1: but they really are marketed towards type A people, to
Speaker 1: the people who maybe they don't have avoidance sloops every day,
Speaker 1: maybe that's like once a month, but for me, that's
Speaker 1: a daily battle, and it really is debilitating. And I
Speaker 1: can't tell you how much I'm just so passionate about
Speaker 1: these topics and just normalizing that not all of us
Speaker 1: can just be dissap every day or even feel like that.
Speaker 1: Here's a little stat though, that will make you feel
Speaker 1: much better. So researchers have found that we're genuinely terrible
Speaker 1: at predicting how bad something's going to feel. We overestimate
Speaker 1: it every single time, So you imagine like the awkward
Speaker 1: conversation that interview, maybe like presenting something anything, it's going
Speaker 1: to be terrible, and then when you actually do the thing,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, that was easy, and then you spent
Speaker 1: like three weeks losing sleep and just having a shit
Speaker 1: time over something that was so simple. But unfortunately, as
Speaker 1: much as we know that, we tend to do it
Speaker 1: with all the things we put off.
Speaker 2: This leads me to the science on what our brain does. Now.
Speaker 1: Everyone treats procrastination like a time management will power problem,
Speaker 1: but it's actually an emotion management problem. So think about
Speaker 1: that social media post I was putting off and the
Speaker 1: post I put off like I had the programs, I
Speaker 1: had the knowledge, I've done this for years, and I
Speaker 1: still didn't do it because time was never the issue.
Speaker 1: This is just is like my way of viewing the tasks.
Speaker 1: And there were two psychologists that actually reframed this for me.
Speaker 1: They found procrastination is basically short term mood repair. So
Speaker 1: when a task makes you feel something uncomfortable, your brain
Speaker 1: goes make that feeling go away now, and the fastest
Speaker 1: way to do that is just to not do it.
Speaker 2: So it's instant relief and here's the cruel twist.
Speaker 1: Avoidance works temporarily, So those avoidance loops I was talking
Speaker 1: about where you're like trying to make out that you're busy,
Speaker 1: but you're just avoiding the actual thing you need to
Speaker 1: be doing. It's negative reinforcement. So temporarily the anxiety drops
Speaker 1: and you feel better, so your brain goes perfect.
Speaker 2: Let's do that again, Hence the avoidance loop.
Speaker 1: And when you do find new tasks to do, they
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with the urgent thing, and that
Speaker 1: is negative reinforcement.
Speaker 2: The relief literally trains you to keep avoiding except the.
Speaker 1: Task still there, and now you've stacked guilt on top
Speaker 1: of it. So if you've ever tried to fix procrastination
Speaker 1: with a new schedule or even a new planner, and look,
Speaker 1: I sell planners, I know this, you've been treating a
Speaker 1: feeling problem with a time management problem. And there's also
Speaker 1: a very good reason why the mental load and the
Speaker 1: thing you put off for so long.
Speaker 2: Feels so heavy.
Speaker 1: It's because there's a psychologist who discovered in the nineteen
Speaker 1: twenties that your brain holds onto unfinished task and keeps
Speaker 1: them running in the background like open tabs on a laptop.
Speaker 1: So finished tasks it drops. You close the loop, it drops,
Speaker 1: but unfinished ones keep going. And that for me is
Speaker 1: like the post sitting in my draft. It's all the
Speaker 1: videos and reels are filmed and I haven't edited, which
Speaker 1: I again, that's something I need to like.
Speaker 2: Work on because I haven't posted a bloody real in ages.
Speaker 1: So the task you're avoiding with these avoidance loops and
Speaker 1: looking like you're busy, it's not sitting quietly in the
Speaker 1: corner of your mind at all. It's running in the
Speaker 1: background of your brain all day long. And it's also
Speaker 1: draining your battery. And then you also don't get the
Speaker 1: satisfaction of actually doing the thing. But here's a little hack.
Speaker 1: Now you don't actually have This is a bit of
Speaker 1: a shortcut, but you don't actually have to do the
Speaker 1: thing to feel relief. One proven way to get some
Speaker 1: instant relief is actually just writing things down, because the
Speaker 1: more we try to hold in our brain that also
Speaker 1: makes it heavier. As I said, we can't treat our
Speaker 1: brain like a Google drive. It's not made for that.
Speaker 2: We can only remember. I think it's like three to
Speaker 2: five things at once.
Speaker 1: Now, the hardest part of any task It isn't the middle,
Speaker 1: it's the beginning.
Speaker 2: It's starting. That is the wall.
Speaker 1: That is the main thing that you just can't bring
Speaker 1: yourself to do. And for ADHD brains especially, our task initiation.
Speaker 2: Is absolutely terrible.
Speaker 1: It's not a good time, especially if you're someone who
Speaker 1: works like at a desk job and all your stuff's online.
Speaker 1: You know, I compare that to something.
Speaker 2: That Ryan does.
Speaker 1: He builds, he'll build a house, he'll build whatever, and
Speaker 1: he can see the physical outcome. But for us who
Speaker 1: work on the Internet, it goes off into the bloody
Speaker 1: world Wide Web and you don't see it again. Like, yes,
Speaker 1: you'll see the post and it might give you satisfaction
Speaker 1: for a second if it goes well up to your expectations,
Speaker 1: but otherwise it just disappears. So the outcome satisfaction just
Speaker 1: isn't there as much as maybe like cluttering a draw.
Speaker 1: So this is how you beat the wall of starting.
Speaker 1: You do the hard thing first, as all as people
Speaker 1: say eat the frog. This works because if you do
Speaker 1: it first thing, it's before your brain can start giving
Speaker 1: you a list of reasons why you shouldn't do the thing,
Speaker 1: before it can tell you and build up that wall.
Speaker 1: So you essentially will beat your own excuses to the
Speaker 1: door if you get in early. And it also helps
Speaker 1: reduce the decision fatigue that builds up throughout the day
Speaker 1: and also a really low mental battery that you'll get
Speaker 1: later on if you keep avoiding it. Now, now let's
Speaker 1: say it's first thing in the morning. You're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the hard thing first, and you're
Speaker 1: still struggling. This is where we're going to do the
Speaker 1: doable start. Just like related to my doable glow up.
Speaker 1: This is a doable start. So say you have a
Speaker 1: large task, I just want you to write down the
Speaker 1: micro steps involved in that task. One thing for me
Speaker 1: that I struggle with is returning like clothes that don't
Speaker 1: fit me. So there's micro steps. I've got to get
Speaker 1: the piece of clothing and put it back in its packet.
Speaker 2: I've got to go.
Speaker 1: Onto my emails find the original order, I find the
Speaker 1: order number, and then go onto the website and do
Speaker 1: it lodge your return thing, and then take it to
Speaker 1: the post office. So I'm just going to write those
Speaker 1: steps down, and what we're going to do is a
Speaker 1: doable start, is just doing the first thing, because you'll
Speaker 1: find Once you have the task broken down into micro
Speaker 1: steps in front of you, that's your map. You don't
Speaker 1: have to try and make decisions within there and be like,
Speaker 1: what's next, what do I do now?
Speaker 2: It does the thinking for you.
Speaker 1: And bonus points if you actually can write this list
Speaker 1: out for yourself the night before, so first thing, you know,
Speaker 1: as soon as your feet hit the floor. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: will even some days if I'm struggling, I won't even
Speaker 1: do my journaling or anything. I will just get the
Speaker 1: thing done and I will rip off the band aid.
Speaker 2: And that's where.
Speaker 1: It's all tied to making your bed first thing in
Speaker 1: the morning. When you make your bed first thing in
Speaker 1: the morning. Why everyone is so you know about this,
Speaker 1: it's because straight away, when your brain is still in
Speaker 1: a certain state, you are showing yourself we finish things here,
Speaker 1: we complete tasks.
Speaker 2: It gives you a.
Speaker 1: Sense of accomplishment super early in the morning, so everything else,
Speaker 1: because if you get nothing else done that day, at
Speaker 1: least you made your bed. At least you did one task.
Speaker 1: And it also obviously helps with that tidy space as well.
Speaker 1: And the amazing thing is by finishing a small, doable task,
Speaker 1: it gives your brain to hit a dopamine, which makes
Speaker 1: the rest of the things for the rest of the
Speaker 1: day much easier as well. Hack number two to doing
Speaker 1: the hard thing first if you're struggling is don't name
Speaker 1: the task, name the feeling or emotion behind it. So
Speaker 1: for me, when it comes to socials, if I'm really struggling,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, Okay, what am I actually feeling here?
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm going to forget that I have
Speaker 1: to do a post. I'm feeling apprehensive. Why And you
Speaker 1: dig into it and you ask yourself why, And I'll
Speaker 1: be like, why because I want it to go well?
Speaker 1: Why because it's important for the business. Why because my business,
Speaker 1: you know, takes care of my family. Why because I'm
Speaker 1: passionate about what I do and I want to help people.
Speaker 1: Why because I'm a good person. See how it kind
Speaker 1: of turned around somehow I went downhill and then we
Speaker 1: came back up there. So when you can kind of
Speaker 1: reframe the thing into an emotion and turn that into
Speaker 1: a good emotion, it's really going to help you get
Speaker 1: that momentum and be like, this is my thing, this
Speaker 1: is my why. And hack number three is to shrink
Speaker 1: the thing, just do that thing for two minutes, just
Speaker 1: two minutes, and tell yourself, I want to set a
Speaker 1: timer for two minutes. And if it gets to two
Speaker 1: minutes and I really don't want to do it anymore,
Speaker 1: I want to stop and by the the timer will
Speaker 1: go off. You already have momentum, because momentum builds more momentum. Okay,
Speaker 1: so how can you actually use all this information?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: First thing I want you to do is ask yourself,
Speaker 1: what is one thing on my list right now that
Speaker 1: just needs to disappear that I just need done.
Speaker 2: I want you to write that thing down now.
Speaker 1: Secondly, I want you tomorrow morning, I want you to
Speaker 1: get up and make your bed. First thing that is
Speaker 1: your first non negotiable win. You will win that in
Speaker 1: two seconds. Number three, I want you to write down
Speaker 1: the micro steps of that thing you need to get done.
Speaker 1: And then I want you to do just two minutes
Speaker 1: of that thing. And you're doing this as soon as
Speaker 1: you make your bed in the morning, before you have
Speaker 1: time to negotiate before your branking list all the reasons
Speaker 1: why you can't.
Speaker 2: Possibly ring the doctor today.
Speaker 1: I want you to get your little mini checklist of
Speaker 1: your mini steps, and I want you to start, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to set you guys a little experiment for
Speaker 1: the week. I want you to open your notes app
Speaker 1: or your notebook, and I would love you to start
Speaker 1: actually tracking how long tasks you hate take you so
Speaker 1: you can start keeping the receipts for future you for
Speaker 1: when you want to have a little for when you
Speaker 1: want to go into an avoidance loop. Now, if your
Speaker 1: brain struggles to, I guess, work out what is your
Speaker 1: hard thing first, like what is the most important? Like
Speaker 1: we have multiple hard things, yeah, so sometimes we just
Speaker 1: need to follow a bit of a process so you
Speaker 1: can work that out. And that's why I made this
Speaker 1: amazing weekly planner. It's like a notepad but basically this
Speaker 1: is also in like the signature planner as well.
Speaker 2: But it's a way to prioritize your time.
Speaker 1: So it has a task dump, so you literally write
Speaker 1: down all your tasks and next to it has your
Speaker 1: priority number. So you literally will just dump all your
Speaker 1: tasks and hard things and then when you're looking at
Speaker 1: all the things next to each other, you have a
Speaker 1: space next to it to actually start numbering it, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what is the thing that needs to happen right now,
Speaker 1: like today? And then you can number it in order
Speaker 1: of priority, and then next to it it has your
Speaker 1: top priorities for the week and then also your weekly
Speaker 1: snapshot so you can even schedule in the other important
Speaker 1: things into your week ahead. And then at the bottom
Speaker 1: this is because you need to even it out and
Speaker 1: at the bottom and I have this type of thing
Speaker 1: throughout all of my planners, it says this week I
Speaker 1: look forward to because it is important to you know,
Speaker 1: go in there and work out the doing. But you're
Speaker 1: also a human being and I think it's important to
Speaker 1: kind of reflect on, you know, things you can look
Speaker 1: forward to, and also making sure you're scheduling in their
Speaker 1: things you can look forward to as well. Anyways, guys,
Speaker 1: I hope this episode help again. Please, I would love
Speaker 1: if you guys took a photo, put it on Instagram
Speaker 1: and tagged me showing me all of the things that
Speaker 1: you're doing, show me the hard things you're doing first,
Speaker 1: because honestly this mantra, if you can live by this
Speaker 1: by just doing the hard thing first, your entire life
Speaker 1: can change in a domino effect way. Again, do it
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning, before you have time to
Speaker 1: realize what you're actually doing. Just like my tips on
Speaker 1: working out, Just get the thing done before you realize
Speaker 1: it's even happening.
Speaker 2: Anyways, I love you and I'll be in your ears
Speaker 2: on Monday. Bye.