WEBVTT - #2135 Psychology FM - Dr. Lillian Nejad 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:03.400 I get a champions, it's Jumbo. It's doctor Lilly, and 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:07.200 it's doctor Tiffany Cook over there at her clinic. She's 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:11.360 operating on people. And now before we get underway, I 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:13.960 got to tell you this, said this yesterday. Melissa will 0:00:14.000 --> 0:00:15.640 punch me in the face if I don't, so will 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:19.919 doctor Denise. I'm running and when I say I not 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:24.599 really Melissa, she's the actual engine and Dr Denise and 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:26.639 I'm just the ring in. We are running a program 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:29.880 called the Reset Program, which is a weekend in June 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:34.960 June twelve, thirteen fourteen. Kick off Friday night at about seven, 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:40.040 but you can get there whenever you want. Finish Sunday about. 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:41.760 Four. 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:45.560 So that's where the event is at the Mantra in 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:49.520 Milula bar So Sunshine Coast. Get you up, butter Cup. 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:53.000 You're welcome. You can thank me when you come. And 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:56.920 the beach is about fifty meters from where we are gathering, 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:58.760 so if you borded me, you can go swim in 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:02.760 the ocean and come back. If you don't know Denise, 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:06.560 Doctor Denise faness Is she's an next sized physiologist. She's 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:10.840 a nutritionist, she's a geneticist, she's a researcher. She's written 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:13.600 heaps of stuff, she presents all over the world and 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:18.160 is I think super highly regarded in the genetic slash 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.240 epigenetic space. Well, I don't think. I know. She's presented 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:24.800 at the U Project conference. She blew everyone away. She's 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.520 a great teacher, great present, a lot of knowledge, and 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:32.720 quite atypically for an absolute real deal scientist, hilarious and 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:39.080 cheeky and funny, unlike doctor Lillian anyway. So no, I'm 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:43.520 just kidding, see what I did there in a humor. No, 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:46.880 she's also a cac as well, So Denise and I. 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:49.240 If you want to find out about that, go to 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:53.960 the website Craig Huper dot net. I should know. It's 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:54.800 not net, isn't it. 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:56.000 Yes, it's not net. 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.360 Thanks, I don't know. I don't go there. I've heard 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:03.840 about it. Craig Carba dot net and giddy Up butter Cups. 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:06.920 It's all about optimizing you get the most out of 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.880 your genetics and your mind and your brain and your 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:12.680 body and your time and your resources and your job 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:17.080 and your aspirations and so it's all about kind of, 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:22.239 if not human optimization, human improvement and growth. So it's 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:25.200 going to be a fun weekend. I love these I 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.200 very much look forward to it, and also lots of 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.000 social time. So you might want to edit a chicken 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:32.000 wrap with me. You and I might eat a chicken 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.160 wrap looking at the surf and talk about the meaning 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:38.480 of life. So there's that that's worth a ticket. Just 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:46.480 that add over, Hi, Doc, Sorry Tiff, did I forget something? 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:50.080 Oh? Yeah, The question that Lillian and I are worth 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:53.840 waiting to have answered based on our free podcast Dantor, 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.760 was is there a great Mexican restaurant near the venue? 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:59.880 I don't know. I don't know. We were talking about that. Okay, 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:01.560 so we were talking about I don't know what we're 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:05.960 talking about. Tell everyone where your favorite Mexican restaurant is, the. 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:12.120 Lilian in Australia, the best place it's called it's called 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:17.239 the Mexican and it's in Port Douglas and it's really, really, 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:17.840 really good. 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:19.679 Are you sponsored by them? 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.240 I really they should pay me because I've told so 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.320 many people and a lot of people like go to 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:26.360 Port Douglas from time to time, and every time I 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.200 hear the word Port Douglas, I'm like, you have to 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:30.679 go to this place, and they go and they agree, 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:34.400 So I haven't made the money. Yeah, I discovered like 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.680 a year and a half, no, two years ago. So yeah, 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:37.200 there you go. 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.840 So your friends to send doctor Lilian some dough the 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:44.160 Mexican or I tell you what you can do. Just 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:47.000 give her an unlimited kind of account where she can 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:49.640 whatever she wants when she comes up, knowing it will 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:52.280 probably only be ones every three years. So I think 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:56.080 you're safe. If you had to pick a cuisine from 0:03:56.200 --> 0:04:03.080 any culture, uh, burgers and chips and steak, not oussy 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:06.640 no no, no, Like, I mean it could be you know, 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.600 you could go whatever, but what if you could only 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:13.120 go to one for the next three months, not dying 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:15.720 there every night? But you know, like what is your 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.800 top of your list? Which doesn't mean you don't love 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:19.880 others as well. 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:19.760 But. 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:25.880 I would say I lean more to Tie. But I 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:30.200 love Japanese, real good Japanese restaurants, mate, like chocolate butter 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:30.839 in the city. 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:31.599 They're good. 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:33.359 Yeah. 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:36.279 Well I usually asked that question too, but I say, like, 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.880 if you had to pick three cuisines to have for 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:40.679 the rest of your life, what would you pick? 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:44.680 Well, that's good, Yeah, I definitely have Tie would be 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:50.799 in there. Japanese as well. Like I love Italian food, 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:54.359 but it doesn't love me like I love it, Like 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:59.600 I love pasta. I love tordolini, ravioli with like even 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.880 straight all bowl sauce, right, But when I eat pasta 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:07.200 it fucks with me for so And I grew up 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.839 eating pasta because I was fucking thrived on it. Yeah, 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.240 fat little pasta eating machine. 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:16.320 But I love Italian. I mean, Italian would be like 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:20.520 my number one mm. But it's not like Italian's much 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.240 more than pasta and pizza though, Like you could actually 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:27.520 do a carb free Italian cuisine if you wanted to, 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.839 Like there, you know they do amazing muscles and seafood 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:34.920 and all sorts of stuff like that. Yeah, that was 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:36.640 a great sound, Craig. 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:42.279 Muscle Fuck how ironic that I hate muscles? How ironic? 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:44.000 Are you sure you hate muscles? 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:47.880 Because I thought it's so sure to me? Fish is 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:49.279 just steky stuff. 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:50.960 Oh you don't like seafood at all? 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:55.680 Not much? Like like what fill its of something that 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:58.000 don't smell all fishy? I know, I'm like a fucking 0:05:58.160 --> 0:05:59.040 fussy eight year old. 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.479 I no cane though you've got a nose on you 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:06.239 like no one. I mean, well, it's like, haensive smell. 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:08.279 Are you talking about the quality of smell or the 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:13.200 fucking magnitude of my proboscus? Started raining the other day, 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:15.599 four people came and stood under it. So you know 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:19.039 that was do you mind if we just shelter under 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.880 your eyes? I'm like, yeah, whatever, So that was discouraging, 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:26.960 but you get that, but I didn't want to ask you, 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.640 and everyone's tuning out. Sorry. I have had Mexican only 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.599 a few times and I really liked it. And there's 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.320 a Mexican joint near my house, like literally adi meters, 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:40.040 but I don't know what to order because I don't know, like, 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.560 I don't like, is the hard shell? Is that a taco? 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:45.440 I know, everyone's like, how stupid are you? I just 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:48.520 they do really okay. 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:50.240 So I would if you were a first time or 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:51.960 at a Mexican place, and I know the place that 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:53.960 you're talking about, and there's a couple on our street 0:06:54.000 --> 0:07:03.160 that are Mexican. Start with tacos. They're they're soft and 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:04.520 hard tacos. 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.880 Soft soft, like I don't like it to be like 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:09.760 a corn ship. 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:12.840 Yeah, no, you want the soft tacos, and that's normally 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:16.160 what they would have at the restaurant you're talking about 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.679 it soft tacos and just like afferent, like three different 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:22.960 versions of it because they have different different kinds of 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.200 meat like pork wanda beef one of. 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:33.360 Is it sham is beif like slices, or is it 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:34.080 mince beef? 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:39.040 It's not neither. It's usually like a like it could 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:41.520 be a brisketty type of beef or like a slow 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:47.600 cooked beef. Or it's like if you go to Taco Bill, 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:51.880 it'll be mint, it'll be mince and corn hard shells, right, 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:55.600 But if you go to like a a nicer Mexican place, 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:57.880 it won't. It'll be nicer, nicer. 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:02.760 Present by doctor Lilly and she thinks bills is ship. 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:07.320 I'm sorry, Oh my god. 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:11.040 It's typical, like it's typically what you would expect it 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.960 in Mexican place, but it's not like the nicer version 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:14.160 of it. 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:16.480 Are you good? Cooked up? 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:19.840 I can cook. I don't enjoy cooking. 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:22.320 Ah, that's very interesting. 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:23.520 Yeah, I'm not. 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:26.880 I prefer to what happens to you, what happened, sorry, 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:28.400 what happens at your joint? Every night? 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:32.440 My husband cooks, Oh my god, yeah, he loves it 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:35.160 and he cooks for us the time. 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:43.160 Wow, does he want a boyfriend? If you want, just 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:45.200 check it out. Tell him I'll spin him on the 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:46.560 couch and we can watch the footy. 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:48.720 Sorry, he's all mine? 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:53.439 Yeah what ifs? I'm not good at relationships anyway. So 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:58.600 that was a pure hypothetical. Should we talk about that, Craig, No, No, 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:00.480 don't fucking psycho me. 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:03.360 I don't just like the analysis. 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:08.720 You know that somebody said yesterday, for the one million 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:10.960 time in my life, you've got commitment issues, and I 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:16.040 went yes. Next it's like, well yeah, and they're like 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:18.440 that was that was meant to be some revelation to 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:22.480 me from them? Yeah, that's like saying you've got quite 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:23.160 a big nose. 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:24.040 Yep. 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.520 Anyway, So we were going to talk today, not about 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:31.280 Mexican food or flying into state to get it or 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.280 spooning your husband on the couch. We're going to talk. 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:39.360 We talk about OCD and anxiety. It seems to me 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.959 maybe it's just the people that I insect with or 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:47.719 the social media that comes across my attention is anxiety. 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.880 Let's start with anxiety. And I know there's no in 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:56.719 inverted commas solution, as in, here's what everyone should do. 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.560 But it's kind of a it's an in to section 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:05.760 of different things. So what do we call like the 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.000 what's the clinical name for one of a better term 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:14.400 of extreme anxiety? Like if somebody suffers from anxiety daily 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:18.280 and it impacts their life consistently in a negative way, 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:19.559 what do we call that? 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:24.360 So I divide it into three sections, So we have 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:29.760 functional anxiety. Right, So functional anxiety meaning like we all 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:35.040 experience anxiety because it's a natural mechanism of our bodies 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.320 and minds that signals a threat or a potential problem, 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.679 and it activates our bodies to protect us. That's functional anxiety. 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.520 If it's functioning for you and helping you, right, helping 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.160 you protect yourself or prepare or plan or problem solve, 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:51.640 then there's dysfunctional anxiety. 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:52.000 Right. 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:56.920 Dysfunctional anxiety is when a number of things could be happening. 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:00.440 So one is, you're getting the alarm bell but there's 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.640 no actual threat, so it's signaling a threat that is 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:08.280 either imagined or exaggerated in some way. It could also 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.440 be that it's activating your body in a way that 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:17.920 isn't particularly helpful or productive or necessary. Right, And then 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:21.720 the other thing is that it could motivate you to 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:25.120 respond in an unhelpful or unhealthy or ineffective way. So 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:28.120 if it's functional, you know, it activates fight or flight, 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:31.079 and then you're using either fight or flight or freeze 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:35.840 in a way that's actually helpful. Dysfunctional anxiety would be 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:40.920 it's alerting you and you have the fight or flight 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.160 and it's motivating you, but you're responding in a way 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:47.200 that isn't going to be particularly helpful. And that might 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:48.280 be a whole range of. 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:50.840 Things before we get to number three, just so I 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:55.680 can get clear in my head. So if we're responding 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:58.680 in a way which is inconsistent with or inappropriate for 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:02.200 the actual threat, Like there may be no threat, but 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.880 we think there's a threat, right, yeah, yeah, And so 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:09.200 we respond to our version of reality, which are something 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:11.600 bad's going to happen, this is terrible, I'm in danger, 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:15.080 whatever it is. The objective reality of the situation or 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.360 the context is no, that's not true, Harps, You're not 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:23.160 in danger. There's no immediate problem, there's nothing impending that's 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:27.120 going to derail you or whatever. Right, So on a level, 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:31.640 we create the anxiety, not the situation, context or circumstance 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.960 or alleged problem, because there isn't one in this version, 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:39.280 so we are. So when people go, oh, that makes 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:44.200 me anxious, sometimes the truth is I make me anxious. Yeah. 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.640 It's like when the you know, the fire alarm goes 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:52.400 off in your house but there's no fire, yeah, right, 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.760 and it's like and you know it's it's a big alarm, 0:12:55.840 --> 0:13:01.200 so it's jarring. Yeah, it activates you and then you're 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.320 looking around there's no smoke and nothing, and it's just 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.000 super annoying and you have to find a way of 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.600 like getting the brew mountain and turning it off. Right. 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:13.240 So if you don't have the insight into the fact 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:17.800 that there's no fire, yeah, that's a problem that's dysfunctional. 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:21.640 You if you know that there's no fire, but you 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:28.680 can't manage the activation, yes, right, Or and you can't 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:30.640 do the response that's going to be helpful, which is 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.520 just turn the alarm off. Yes, then that's a problem 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:39.520 that's dysfunctional. Yes, now that happens. Sorry you want to 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:40.320 go that's all right? 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:44.240 No, sorry, you have a gap and then I talk 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:47.880 and then that's my dad everyone, And yes, you don't 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:52.920 need to send me another email. I can help. I know, 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:55.920 I interrupt, I got it loud and clear. I don't 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:57.600 mean to just get excited. 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:00.880 I don't know. It's all good. 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:05.200 That reminds me of that very I don't know if 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.160 it's finmous it's monally famous, but that al sign don't 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:09.360 believe everything you think. 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.240 Oh, yeah, that, I mean, that's one of the main issues. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.000 Like you said before, it's not it's not always the situation. 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:22.040 It's sometimes what's happening internally, yes, and our thoughts. I mean, 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:27.440 the foundation of modern therapy, you know, for a lot 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:29.800 of the therapies that you know we use in a 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:37.080 psychological sense, is that your thoughts influence your feelings and behaviors. 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:41.720 So it isn't always the situation. It's how you've interpreted 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:45.960 the situation, how you perceive the situation, your beliefs about 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:50.840 the situation that can lead to dysfunctional responses. Whether it's 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:54.560 the finn feeling wise, thinking wise, behavior wise. 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.360 Do you think it's the emotion or the thought that 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:00.240 comes first? 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:05.400 Yeah, that's that is like a that's a very contentious issue, 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:07.760 and it doesn't need to be because I think the 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.680 answer is both. I think both can come first. If 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.680 you hear like a lot of people will notice the 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.880 emotion first. So a lot of people say, I just 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.160 felt like, I don't know, you know, the emotion came 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.520 and then you know, everything else came after that. And 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:26.360 that may be true, or it could also be that 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.280 people aren't as mindful of what their thoughts are, so 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:34.800 they're not noticing the thoughts, they're noticing the feeling. But 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:38.440 I don't think there's like one answer. I think that like, 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:42.080 it's very possible for there to be an automatic thought 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:44.960 that leads to feelings and behaviors and more thoughts, and 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:49.320 there definitely can be an automatic emotion or like even 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:53.680 physiological response that happens first, and then everything ensues after 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:57.800 that as well. But no matter what comes first, we 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:05.240 still interpreting that. So it's and that interpretation is very powerful. 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:10.800 How you interpret that, whatever the first thing is is 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.880 potentially going to influence you know, the rest. 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.360 And I wouldn't imagine as a clinician, which you are, 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.960 Dr Lillian is a clinical psyche. Did I get that right? 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:26.440 I didn't fuck that right? No, that's right, because let's 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:32.800 say in this hypothetical, I I'm on stage and I'm 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:36.880 doing a gig, and in the gig, I don't know this, 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:40.360 but everyone's kind of having an okay time. They're somewhere 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.560 between this is not bad and this is really interesting. 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:46.000 But in my moment up on stage, my insecurity raises 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:48.320 its ugly head and my shit self esteem and my 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:52.120 childhood bullshit, and and my story is, oh, they fucking 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:56.800 hate me, they hate this, But the truth is not that. Yeah, 0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:02.280 my thought is, oh, they don't like me. I'm never 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:05.600 going to get another gig with this company. Blah blah blah. 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.000 I'm not doing a good job filling the black right. 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:13.840 Then the emotion around that is fear, is whatever apprehension, 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.960 maybe even anger at myself that I didn't fucking prepare better. 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:20.879 And then the physiology off the back of that is 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:25.080 all the things we talk about all the time, heart rate, respiration, stress, 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.560 stress or moment, sympathetic nervous system, all that stuff. And 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:35.280 so it's like this multifactorial thing. It's like this convergence 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:38.439 of three systems, which is really one system. It's like, 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.200 you know, mind body emotions for one of the better. 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:46.399 It's like one collaborative if that's the right word, but 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:50.639 one intersecting system where everything kind of affects everything. Like 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.199 you can't get really scared and your heart rate not 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:58.679 go up. You can't be fearful and not produce you know, 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:03.080 stress hormones, right, you can't. So it's like, yeah, this 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:07.280 is a problem of the mind and everything else. So 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:12.080 it's understanding the physical consequences of the stepping off point, 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:15.800 which could be emotion or mind according to you, which 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:21.080 I agree with. But then that also like I was 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:25.800 talking to somebody yesterday who just a person. 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:26.080 I know. 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:29.159 I don't want to give anything away, but this person 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:35.440 essentially had like a lot of like a big response 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:39.320 to something like a uh, you know, a real emotional 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:43.119 and psychological crisis a few months ago, and they're coming 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:48.280 out of that slowly. But said to me yesterday, I 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:53.040 don't even know why, but I feel so anxious like that, 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.240 and they're not. There's not something they're particularly worried about. 0:18:56.720 --> 0:19:00.600 It's like, so the anxiety exists without a even some 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:04.080 focus of what's care, you know, It's like it can 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:08.600 almost exist in the body as an experience devoid of 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:11.200 reason or or you know. 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:14.480 Sometimes yeah, yeah, I don't. 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:16.880 Even know why I feel like this, but I'm sure 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:20.119 to breath I feel really anxious. I don't know why. 0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:24.480 There's nothing I'm particularly focused on or worried about, but nonetheless, 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:26.639 here I am. What's that? 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:29.320 Yeah, I mean that can be so many different things. 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:33.840 Sometimes it can be cumulative stress. So you know, like 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:38.119 you are operating at a let's say you're a high achiever, 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.880 or you have your own business, or you're you're doing 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:44.960 a stressful job, or you've got a lot of things 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:48.600 going on over a long period of time, and you're 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:52.600 handling it. You know, you're going, you're handling it. You 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:54.800 keep going, you keep going and keep going. But the 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:58.880 impact of that over time is you've got cumulative stress 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:02.320 and then you and then you start feeling like that 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:06.639 tension in your chest and worries and you're like, but 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:09.760 there's nothing happening right this second, I don't get it. 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:13.800 Sometimes that can Sometimes that can happen, like people will 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:19.040 get a panic attack. So that's that very intense anxiety reaction. 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:25.080 And the experience of panic attacks is out of the blue. 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:28.520 It's like it just happened, and you're like, that doesn't 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:32.240 make any sense, why did that happen? But if you 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:39.280 actually delve into it a little bit more there's usually 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:43.800 a reason or multiple reasons over time, and that it 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:47.240 could be situational. It could be like there's multiple stressors 0:20:47.280 --> 0:20:52.680 over time, or it could be down to beliefs, and 0:20:54.680 --> 0:21:01.280 or it could be something that's physical, like there are 0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:06.280 lots of places that to look. It could be down 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.639 to your behaviors, like well, you've you've not realized it, 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.640 but you've you've stopped, you're starting to sleep six hours 0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:14.800 a night instead of eight hours a night, or you're 0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:19.600 eating fast food more often, or you know your your 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:23.640 child is having some trouble at school, or it could 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:26.120 be so many different things. That's why it is really 0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:31.919 important to kind of understand what it might be, but 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:35.280 also not to be afraid of it. I think sometimes 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:39.680 when people experience anxiety, there's two things that happen. One 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:42.199 is they get really scared about it. They don't you know, 0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:46.520 and they and then they judge themselves for it. I 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:47.960 should feel this way. 0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:52.040 Yeah, a couple of things. It's so many things. As 0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:53.200 you were talking there, it's good. 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:54.800 I think. 0:21:54.880 --> 0:21:57.320 Also stuff can be going on in your body, like 0:21:57.400 --> 0:22:00.119 you said, well, maybe you had shit sleep. Well, it's 0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:03.440 probably going to increase cortisole production because you're not fully recovered, 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:07.719 or there's been this low level kind of you're in 0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:10.119 an office where there's a lot of bullshit going on. 0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:13.840 It's not about you, but it's around you, and so 0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:18.320 there's this kind of subconscious impact. Maybe your conscious is 0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.399 not even aware of it, but now you're producing a 0:22:21.440 --> 0:22:24.959 bit of cortisole and adrenaline and all this stuff's happening 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:29.960 in your body that you are obviously not choosing or regulating, 0:22:31.280 --> 0:22:38.800 and it's almost like this unconscious thing that's happening where yeah, 0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:41.560 it doesn't make it makes sense to your body, but 0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:43.840 it doesn't make sense to your mind because you don't know, 0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:48.120 like why is this happening? And I think also sometimes 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.480 I feel like anxiety. It's like filling up a cup 0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:53.760 of water. It's okay, and it's getting near that and 0:22:53.760 --> 0:22:56.080 you're like, I'm good. I'm good. I say that all 0:22:56.080 --> 0:22:58.280 the time, how are you? Yep? Good? And there might 0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:00.399 be thirty three things, not thirty, but there might be 0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:03.560 five or six things going on that are challenging. I'm good. 0:23:03.880 --> 0:23:05.600 And part of the reason I do that is because 0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:08.679 I think I am good, but maybe I'm not always 0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:13.040 as good as I think. Also, for me, you know 0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:16.000 how for a lot of people, talk therapy is great, 0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:19.800 but we know that it's not great for everyone. So 0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:22.760 there are a percentage of people who when they talk 0:23:22.840 --> 0:23:25.120 about the thing, it doesn't help it. Potentially a small 0:23:25.160 --> 0:23:27.919 percentage of course, and everyone who talks to you gets transforms. 0:23:28.000 --> 0:23:32.680 We know that it's different, but that like if somebody 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:36.359 goes to me how your parents, and I go, yep, 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:38.800 pretty good, thanks, and you asked me that yesterday. So 0:23:38.800 --> 0:23:42.720 I'm not talking about you, but no, it depends on 0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:46.040