Speaker 1: Appogiae production. Hi, my name's Beck Woodbine and welcome to
Speaker 1: Tenderness for Nurses.
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the person that I have the opportunity
Speaker 2: to be, so I hid it and parked it for
Speaker 2: Nellie four years. We always have free will, We always
Speaker 2: get to choose. We are autonomous.
Speaker 1: Hi everyone, thank you for tuning back in to Tenderness
Speaker 1: for Nurses today. I have the amazing Kathy with me,
Speaker 1: who I have met was the end of last year,
Speaker 1: September September last year, as she has moved into the
Speaker 1: same precinct I leave in and we just hit it
Speaker 1: off straight away. Actually, if I'm really honest, I saw
Speaker 1: one of her support people, was it your sister.
Speaker 2: My sister Susie Susie that was.
Speaker 1: Trying to make a walk, and I was like, give
Speaker 1: her a hand, and I raced up being you know,
Speaker 1: nessy Beck. She felt so bad, but I was like,
Speaker 1: do you need a hand? And we've got chatting and
Speaker 1: we chat constantly, yes, ever since. But I'm going to
Speaker 1: read you. I asked Kat to send me through a
Speaker 1: little bio today and honestly, I had a really good
Speaker 1: laugh when I was reading this. Kathy Peel has never
Speaker 1: quite grown up. After a lesson in stellar academic career
Speaker 1: as a border at one of Brisbane's girls' schools, she
Speaker 1: floated around for a few years doing a variety of jobs, badly,
Speaker 1: notably working for her father, who was a dentist. He
Speaker 1: fired her, which was fair because she kept closing her
Speaker 1: eyes and wincing whenever he used a drill, resulting in
Speaker 1: patients having their tongue sucked into the whimsically named saliva rejector.
Speaker 1: Kathy has an arts degree and holds a post grad
Speaker 1: qualification in English literature and public administration, so nothing practical,
Speaker 1: which could be her life subtitle. She has been a
Speaker 1: tafe teacher, worked in QPS Queens and Police Service, disastered
Speaker 1: a response in the Department of Emergency Service as a
Speaker 1: protocol officer for the two thousand e Comgames, and is
Speaker 1: now professionally delightful and very occasionally quite clever as a
Speaker 1: manager in the public service. And this is the bit
Speaker 1: I love before getting asked cancer in twenty twenty. Kathy
Speaker 1: was an active member of the Brisbane cycling community, including
Speaker 1: the women's only Facebook group Brisbane Chicks who Ride Bikes
Speaker 1: with four and a half thousand members. Kathy used to
Speaker 1: take absolute beginners out on rides with some of the
Speaker 1: other more experienced riders to show them safe and flatways
Speaker 1: to get around Brisbane using bike paths and quiet backstreets.
Speaker 1: Kathy also used to provide highly unprofessional social media coverage
Speaker 1: with her good friend Jordana at the Women's tour down
Speaker 1: Under an Adelaide. Juldana and Kathy once got so drunk
Speaker 1: at a cellar door tasting they missed the end of
Speaker 1: the race. After escaping hospital after four hundred and forty
Speaker 1: seven days, Kathy was in the private system for around
Speaker 1: six months and then moved to the public sector to
Speaker 1: under take rehab. She is now struggling to figure out
Speaker 1: her new normal post cancer treatment as immutenist and resentful
Speaker 1: member of the Chair and Wheels Society. Chair with Wheel Society,
Speaker 1: Kathy's written a blog about her experience on the public Facebook,
Speaker 1: an unsatisfactory turn of events. She is also a pet
Speaker 1: guardian for a resentful and ungrateful rescue cat called Bumble,
Speaker 1: who I have to say I love, but her true
Speaker 1: calling is to befriend my glorious dog Lola.
Speaker 2: Yes I far. That is possibly the least successful campaign
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty four, so ask cancer. Ask cancer. That's
Speaker 2: a very technical term. I'm glad you talked about it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So how did you know to go and see someone?
Speaker 2: Well in surprising news because you've got a photo up
Speaker 2: and stuff. People will be astounded to learn that I'm
Speaker 2: over fifty. I look like I'm thirty. So I got
Speaker 2: that postal thing and they said, please do a pool
Speaker 2: and send.
Speaker 1: It off to us.
Speaker 2: So I did all of the stuff, and I got
Speaker 2: all of these phone calls and you must go and
Speaker 2: see a immediately. So I went and had a colonoscope
Speaker 2: on Monday, and I woke up in the afternoon and
Speaker 2: they said, you have cancer. We've got you seeing a
Speaker 2: surgeon on Wednesday, and you'll probably be operated on Friday.
Speaker 2: My dad was a surgeon, my mum. I come from
Speaker 2: a very medical family, so I knew that if I'm
Speaker 2: seeing someone this quickly, something is wrong. So I had
Speaker 2: no symptoms, I had no issues whatsoever. So off I went.
Speaker 2: I met this quite pleasant surgeon on the Wednesday, who said,
Speaker 2: I'm not operating you on the Friday because it's I
Speaker 2: think it's stage four and you're going to die. You
Speaker 2: need to have your affairs in order, and they actually
Speaker 2: say you need to have your affairs in order. And
Speaker 2: I had this incredible hot flush go from the left
Speaker 2: hand side of me to the right hand side of me,
Speaker 2: which was obviously adrenaline or something, and I was yeah,
Speaker 2: and suddenly I had cancer. So then he took it
Speaker 2: to his multidisciplinary team and they did rady. I had
Speaker 2: to do radiography or radiation treatment at the PA. I
Speaker 2: was a private patient in the public system at the PA,
Speaker 2: and I did cancer treatment privately with chemotherapy, and my
Speaker 2: sister and I didn't go to the chemotherapy orientation day,
Speaker 2: so they kept saying this is going to happen and
Speaker 2: you're going to feel this way, and we're thinking, this
Speaker 2: is awful. So I had radiation and chemotherapy and then
Speaker 2: I had an operation done. They put a temporary iliostomy
Speaker 2: in and everything was fine. About twelve months later, I
Speaker 2: got very sick. I had chemotherapy and radiation sickness. I
Speaker 2: was going blind. I was supposed to do twelve rounds
Speaker 2: of chemotherapy. They had to reduce it to six because
Speaker 2: I nearly did, which was a bit dramatic. So then
Speaker 2: I was feeling fine. I went back to. I went
Speaker 2: back in to see my doctor again about ten months
Speaker 2: later after I'd had this operation and the recovery and stuff,
Speaker 2: and I had a recurrence and then things got really serious,
Speaker 2: so I had to have what's called a total pelvic exoneration,
Speaker 2: so basically every organ from my belly button down was removed,
Speaker 2: and they said, best case scenario is you'll have a limp.
Speaker 2: Worst case scenario you'll be in a wheelchair, And sadly,
Speaker 2: I'm worst case scenario.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, so I had cancer spread. When you say
Speaker 1: you had everything removed, we're talking uterus, ovaries, everything.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, labia, everything glitter as everything went bladder.
Speaker 2: So I'm now the proud owner of a double ostome
Speaker 2: bag kit, which is really confronting. They removed part of
Speaker 2: my tailbone as well, cut my satica nerve and stuff
Speaker 2: like that, because the recurrence was right at the back
Speaker 2: of my pelvis, so they went from the front inn
Speaker 2: and just took everything out. By the time they went
Speaker 2: in to take the stuff out, the cancer had moved
Speaker 2: to my ovaries and had gone into different parts of
Speaker 2: my bow as well.
Speaker 1: So you had no signs or symptoms, and if it
Speaker 1: hadn't a been for you doing the Pooh test.
Speaker 2: I'd be dead, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: I was totally asymptomatic. And is that common with that
Speaker 1: form of cos I don't believe.
Speaker 2: So I think that the problem was I actually, before
Speaker 2: all of this happened, I was really very fit and
Speaker 2: I was an indurance athlete and stuff like that, so
Speaker 2: I used I was used to having a lot of
Speaker 2: aches and pains in my body. I was used to
Speaker 2: getting dehydrated because I'd be out in mountain bikes all
Speaker 2: day and come home and feel a bit rat. But
Speaker 2: I had no symptoms like I had no Yeah, I
Speaker 2: just I was just living my life.
Speaker 1: Wow did they offer I mean, that's all except for
Speaker 1: confronting and I know you're really close with your friends
Speaker 1: and your family. Yep. Was counseling and that sort of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they keep offering it to me and you didn't take.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not. I don't want to be part of the
Speaker 2: cancer club. I found that it was very when I
Speaker 2: because I've done radiation twice now and chemotherapy twice, and
Speaker 2: both times were pretty bad. And the more I went
Speaker 2: in for chemotherapy, the more muteness I became. So I
Speaker 2: had like these T shirts it said sorry, I'm late.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to come, and people would laugh thinking
Speaker 2: I was joking, but I meant it with every fiver
Speaker 2: of my being. And I had a big headband that
Speaker 2: was a sleep mask that my nephew brought for me,
Speaker 2: and it said emotionally emotionally exhausted. Because I didn't want
Speaker 2: to talk to anybody. I didn't want to go into
Speaker 2: these radiation and hear from Clive from Gatton about what
Speaker 2: he was doing, and Sarah from Crow's Nest about what
Speaker 2: was happening with her. I didn't want to be part
Speaker 2: of the cancer club. I just want to I just
Speaker 2: want my life back. So but I was also very lucky.
Speaker 2: I've had a very very good mental health professional walking
Speaker 2: with me the whole way, who was already looking, who
Speaker 2: was already part of my medical team before all of
Speaker 2: this happened. So I've leant very heavily on him. I
Speaker 2: was talking to one of the junior consultants and I
Speaker 2: said something like blah blah blah, and I went to
Speaker 2: sleep and I woke up and I was mutilated. He
Speaker 2: was extremely anxious that I was discussing my condition, that
Speaker 2: I was mutilated. But to be honest with you, I was.
Speaker 2: I went to sleep and I was fine. I could walk,
Speaker 2: I could do everything. And I woke up I couldn't
Speaker 2: walk anymore and I had huge, great, big open scars
Speaker 2: all down my front, all down my back. I was
Speaker 2: in a kman for eight weeks after my second big operation.
Speaker 2: So I went to sleep I think in June, and
Speaker 2: I woke up and sort of the Tour de France
Speaker 2: was sort of on. Wow, Yeah it was crazy.
Speaker 1: At least you woke up to that.
Speaker 2: Well it was, it was good, But the problem was
Speaker 2: I actually didn't know where I was, so I had mania.
Speaker 2: When you is that what it is?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was in I was in the hospital. I
Speaker 2: was in intensive care for so long and on so
Speaker 2: many world drugs. I wake up and I had mania happening.
Speaker 2: And when I was in the private system, I had
Speaker 2: five consultants. It would come and see me every day,
Speaker 2: and that was really kind, super beautiful dressed wearing suits
Speaker 2: and ties and everything, and they were so kind to me.
Speaker 2: And the guy that looked after that sort of component
Speaker 2: was astounded because I had Usually when people have a mania,
Speaker 2: they'll have like I had hallucinations and stuff, and the
Speaker 2: nurses would say, oh, you know, we're going to give
Speaker 2: you a bed bath now, and I say, do you
Speaker 2: think we should not ask everyone else to leave? And
Speaker 2: it was just the nurses and me. But I had
Speaker 2: on my left hand side, I had a woman dressed
Speaker 2: in regency like sort of pride and preadjuiced sort of clothes,
Speaker 2: sitting there quietly tap a string. And I had this
Speaker 2: cat that would jump out of the TV that would
Speaker 2: sit on my lap. And I had all of these soldiers.
Speaker 2: But he said, the remarkable thing was that the soldiers
Speaker 2: weren't attacking me. They were guarding me. It's very unusual
Speaker 2: for people who have a mania to have people who
Speaker 2: are guarding them. And I said to my sister.
Speaker 1: They were angels.
Speaker 2: Well, I said to my sister later, I said, just
Speaker 2: freak sitting in the chair next to me, And she
Speaker 2: said that's where we used to sit. Because I've an
Speaker 2: English lit degree and Jane Austen is my favorite author.
Speaker 2: When I was in intensive care and was really fretful
Speaker 2: and I couldn't couldn't calm me down, my friends and
Speaker 2: family would read Jane Austen and they all said, on
Speaker 2: my left and I had one particular girlfriend who I'm
Speaker 2: really good friends with, and she flew up from Melbourne
Speaker 2: in the morning, walked straight into intensive care where you know,
Speaker 2: I sat down read Jane Austin to me all day
Speaker 2: and went home.
Speaker 1: See that that speaks volumes to me about the type
Speaker 1: of person you are. I just I'm just so lucky,
Speaker 1: so glad to have the friends and family that I have,
Speaker 1: and they've stuck around.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been sick for years now. I mean
Speaker 2: I was in hospital for a year and a half
Speaker 2: and they all still like me. Because it's true, you
Speaker 2: get super invested in yourself and kind of you know,
Speaker 2: blah blah, and that was so I had to work
Speaker 2: hard on to not become self absorbed exactly.
Speaker 1: You're insightful of that and you're aware of it. And
Speaker 1: I do think it's easy to become self absorbed when
Speaker 1: you're in pain, when everything is about to you, when
Speaker 1: you're in that hospital bed, and rightly so, you're souper sick.
Speaker 1: But it's quite interesting that you were aware enough to go, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to not make it all about me, and
Speaker 1: you like that at home, like when we would get
Speaker 1: run into each other. You're quite happy to chat about
Speaker 1: everything else and everyone else, and we turn the subject
Speaker 1: to you and you'll talk a little bit, and then
Speaker 1: you always seguay out.
Speaker 2: Because it's not You've got no good news. That's the
Speaker 2: problem is you don't want to be Nancy no good
Speaker 2: news all the time. I don't know who Nancy is,
Speaker 2: but I think it's and I think a lot of it, too,
Speaker 2: is because I was in a relationship for twenty years
Speaker 2: and at breakdown before I got sick, And to be
Speaker 2: honest with you, I'm kind of glad I was by
Speaker 2: myself and I didn't have a partner when I was
Speaker 2: well since I've been sick, because I've only had to
Speaker 2: look after myself and you can, oh, she's the worst
Speaker 2: bumbles devil, But it's that whole thing about if you've
Speaker 2: got a partner, you also have to see how they're
Speaker 2: going and how are they coping, and are they feeling
Speaker 2: resentful and all of that sort of stuff. Where Also,
Speaker 2: I had my sister who in the blog I called
Speaker 2: the Goat. She was originally the MVP for the Most
Speaker 2: Vasual Player, but she's been promoted to the Goat and
Speaker 2: Marvelous Paul, her husband and Arnie Margaret, who's ninety three now.
Speaker 2: She's my consult physiotherapist. She was my dad and sister
Speaker 2: and mother Meg and the fire and I had all
Speaker 2: these people that loved me and were around me all
Speaker 2: the time, but they also had, like Susie had her
Speaker 2: own family outside of that, you know, so I wasn't
Speaker 2: the primary focus focus. And it also lets Susie and
Speaker 2: Mum and everyone go home and say, God, I'm sick
Speaker 2: of cancer. I'm sick of too. Can we not talk
Speaker 2: about my child or my sister because I'm sick of her?
Speaker 2: She sucks.
Speaker 1: You probably get sick of yourself.
Speaker 2: I totally do. Absolutely not that interesting.
Speaker 1: After all your surgeries, yes, did they have to build
Speaker 1: up your muscle strength and then after all those long
Speaker 1: stints in I see you and that sort of thing.
Speaker 2: Initially, Yeah, So when I was I was in the
Speaker 2: private sector and I had my own room and my
Speaker 2: own nurses and everything, and the physios would come to
Speaker 2: me for an hour a day into my room and
Speaker 2: they brought this like it was kind of like some
Speaker 2: sort of torture device called a tilt table, and I
Speaker 2: had to be I think it was like a ho
Speaker 2: a mat. It was a hover mat that hovermaped me
Speaker 2: onto the thing, and then that put me onto this
Speaker 2: tilt table and they'd sort of wench me up to
Speaker 2: ninety degrees and I would get to thirty degrees and
Speaker 2: start vomiting, which was really attractive because I hadn't had
Speaker 2: my hair washed it about three weeks. Actually, pro tip,
Speaker 2: if you've got anyone who's going into hospital for a
Speaker 2: long time, you need to actually learn how to French braid,
Speaker 2: and you can just French brade blade their plats. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and if you haven't got a sister who can do that,
Speaker 2: Susie learned how to do that when was in detention
Speaker 2: at high school. But if you haven't got a sister
Speaker 2: that can do it, you need to make friends with
Speaker 2: girls who are harsy people because they can do the
Speaker 2: same braids that they did on their horses, because it
Speaker 2: just keeps it off your face and it doesn't matter
Speaker 2: how greasy it gets. But so i'd gone too the
Speaker 2: tilt table, so I and I used to have to
Speaker 2: after a few weeks because nobody knew what was happening.
Speaker 2: They couldn't understand why I wasn't recovering very well. And
Speaker 2: after a few weeks I studied using this thing called
Speaker 2: the Sarah steady, which is a torture device where you
Speaker 2: sort of have to sort of bend ford and stand
Speaker 2: up by yourself and push yourself up and then you'd
Speaker 2: sit down like you're on a chariot and they move
Speaker 2: you to the bathroom while they move you to the
Speaker 2: shower and stuff like that. So it took me, I
Speaker 2: think about six weeks to learn how to use a
Speaker 2: Sarah steady, and that was a too assist. So by
Speaker 2: the time I went, I could not go to rehab
Speaker 2: while I still had a pump dressing or what are
Speaker 2: the vacuum dressings, and they have the they've got the
Speaker 2: huge dressings, and they have that machine that sucks all
Speaker 2: your bits and pieces together.
Speaker 1: I don't know anymore because it's been it was.
Speaker 2: Kind of it was something, and I had one on
Speaker 2: the front and one on the back, and so they
Speaker 2: sort of were using such to suck skin together. So
Speaker 2: I couldn't have any of those. And I need to
Speaker 2: be on a Sarah study before I could go into rehab,
Speaker 2: so I need to rehab. So I got there and
Speaker 2: very unwill. When I was first emitted into the public system,
Speaker 2: I got sepsis and died a couple of times, which
Speaker 2: made everyone very nervous. So yeah, I had to learn.
Speaker 2: So I lost I think something about thirty eight plos
Speaker 2: and most of it was muscle mass. And because I
Speaker 2: was a cyclist and super super fit, I used to
Speaker 2: have these massive quads and massive, massive glutes and these
Speaker 2: huge carves. I used to have to wear special boots
Speaker 2: because my cars were so big. So yeah, I lost
Speaker 2: a lot of weight.
Speaker 1: Did they think you being so fit helped your recr.
Speaker 2: One of the actually it it was actually an impediment.
Speaker 2: At one point, as an endurance athlete who pushed herself,
Speaker 2: I would get to the redline and continue. So with
Speaker 2: the physios, I'd say do it again. And I wasn't
Speaker 2: listening to my body because it was saying it was tired,
Speaker 2: because I was used to disregarding those messages. So and
Speaker 2: I'm my own worst enemy. I'm highly competitive with myself.
Speaker 2: So if I would do two physio sessions a day
Speaker 2: and completely wreck myself, so I didn't, and.
Speaker 1: That can actually make your recovery longer. Yeah, I sucked
Speaker 1: at recovery.
Speaker 2: I just was not cool. And then I had a
Speaker 2: pressure saw, so I had to lie on my side
Speaker 2: in bed for a week, and I cried the whole
Speaker 2: week because I wanted to be up doing physio.
Speaker 1: And where was the where was where was that pressure? Weed?
Speaker 2: It was sort of you know when you've got undies
Speaker 2: on and where the elastic goes on between your bum
Speaker 2: and the top of your thigh. Because I had, I
Speaker 2: have no feeling there anymore. So somebody I could go
Speaker 2: to if I could still walk, I could walk to
Speaker 2: Italy and people could pinch my bum and I wouldn't
Speaker 2: even notice. So having the pressure there because I sat
Speaker 2: so still, I ended up with a pressure, so it
Speaker 2: would have been on your sacred It was not cool. Yeah,
Speaker 2: everybody was mad, and yeah I felt like they were
Speaker 2: mad with me, but I think the nursing stuff women
Speaker 2: more mad with themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they're very They're very hard to heal once
Speaker 1: you developed one, and then they go through the stages
Speaker 1: pretty quickly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that was that was That was a low.
Speaker 2: There was Look, to be honest with you, there's been
Speaker 2: four years of low points, and just when you think
Speaker 2: it can get no lower it, somehow something happens just
Speaker 2: to happen, which sucks.
Speaker 1: So what are the high. What do you think you've
Speaker 1: got out of the last few year.
Speaker 2: You know, the funny thing is I was saying to Look,
Speaker 2: I think it was the long suffering Suzanne who I
Speaker 2: work with, or people who talk to me all the time.
Speaker 2: I kept waiting for this bolt of wisdom.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: People say I got really sick and I realized the
Speaker 2: importance of family, or I realized that, you know, I
Speaker 2: needed to throw in my corporate job and go and
Speaker 2: you know, grow apples or something. Yeah. Look, I was
Speaker 2: either not listening when my bolt of lightning came, or
Speaker 2: I already had life pretty much figured out before I
Speaker 2: got sick. Like I've always appreciated my friends and family.
Speaker 2: I've always worked really hard at having a work life balance.
Speaker 2: So one of the things that I'm really pleased about
Speaker 2: is that I was Look, I did the right thing.
Speaker 2: I'll put extra money into my superannuation stuff. But I
Speaker 2: traveled significantly before I got sick, so none of that
Speaker 2: whole I'll wait until I retire and I'll take myself
Speaker 2: off to England, or I'll wait till I retire and
Speaker 2: I'll go to Italy and stuff like that. So when
Speaker 2: I was lying in my hospital where The only real
Speaker 2: regret how I had was that I never got to Japan.
Speaker 2: But like I went to Sri Lanka. I've been to
Speaker 2: England in America, and I don't know Thailand and Vietnam
Speaker 2: and all sorts of places and the Pilbra region and everything.
Speaker 2: So you've lived life. Well, yeah, I had to. You
Speaker 2: only get one shot at it, and you've done great well,
Speaker 2: I think so like, but I think the main if
Speaker 2: I had to be less learn the lesson was it's
Speaker 2: to not focus on yourself all the time because you're
Speaker 2: not that interesting, but also to give people. People would
Speaker 2: come in there say, oh this is happening. My husband's
Speaker 2: drive me nuts, or you know why wife's an idiot
Speaker 2: or whatever. You know, because people talk to you, particularly
Speaker 2: if you're in a hospital bed. You've got nowhere to go,
Speaker 2: so you can't sort of suddenly so I'll just put
Speaker 2: a load of washing on. But people will talk to
Speaker 2: you and then they say, oh, look I feel terrible,
Speaker 2: but it's nowhere near as bad as you can. I say,
Speaker 2: just because it's not as bad as me doesn't mean
Speaker 2: that you're not feeling rubbish and doesn't mean that your
Speaker 2: husband isn't being a jerk, and your kids aren't being difficult,
Speaker 2: so I think one of them. And even today I
Speaker 2: said to someone, look, just because I can't walk doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that, you know, you feeling bad, isn't feeling bad.
Speaker 2: So I think I think I did all right. But
Speaker 2: I think that's probably because I've got pretty good values
Speaker 2: from the family.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when after all your recovery, I know from talking
Speaker 1: to you that work has been a very important part
Speaker 1: of your life.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: How was it going back to work and what steps
Speaker 1: did you have to put into place to get back
Speaker 1: to work? Like, I'm assuming your work was very supportive
Speaker 1: while you were in hospital.
Speaker 2: My boss's boss's boss has been amazing, and my organization
Speaker 2: has been amazing, And I think it's mainly because it's
Speaker 2: also a huge company, so it's not like it's a
Speaker 2: small business where you can't hold someone's position open for
Speaker 2: four or five years. But my work has been fantastic. So,
Speaker 2: like my boss's boss's boss dropped in to see me
Speaker 2: at the hospital a few times. One of the things
Speaker 2: that we had to do because of the social media
Speaker 2: presence I had with Chipsy ride bikes and stuff like that,
Speaker 2: was the first time I was sick. I was at
Speaker 2: the mart of private and we had forty fifty bouquets
Speaker 2: of flowers were being delivered right and I'm on special
Speaker 2: case ione Keddymine, I'm like trying to fight people and
Speaker 2: being hideously awful, and my sisters can be She's really nice.
Speaker 2: Look at the flowers's they So we had all of
Speaker 2: these people wanted to come and see me and flowers
Speaker 2: and that people were so supportive, and all it did
Speaker 2: was put me under enormous pressure to get better. So
Speaker 2: when I had the total pelvic exit, we actually made
Speaker 2: a decision as a family and as the inner sanctum
Speaker 2: to not let anyone know what hospital I was in
Speaker 2: at all. So so anyway, but the boss's boss boss
Speaker 2: found out where I was. I told her where I
Speaker 2: was staying so she would come and see me at hospital.
Speaker 2: But I actually, when I was still an inpatient in
Speaker 2: the public system, I actually was working the equivalent of
Speaker 2: two days a week. So they brought in all of
Speaker 2: these computers and all of these laptops, and I had
Speaker 2: a desk and stuff like that, and the hospital, the
Speaker 2: ward got me. I had a private room, which is
Speaker 2: very unusual because nobody could read the stuff on my
Speaker 2: computer because it was top secret. But they helped me
Speaker 2: get back to work a couple of days a week.
Speaker 2: Now it wasn't difficult work, but it was work. And
Speaker 2: my income protection insurance had run out as well, so
Speaker 2: I kind of was I thought that went on for
Speaker 2: na Sadly, I know it for two years, so I
Speaker 2: had a lot of time long long Servicely I had
Speaker 2: income protection insurance for two years. You can change your
Speaker 2: level of income protection insurance, but mine was for two years,
Speaker 2: which was the maximum you could take at the time.
Speaker 2: I got sick and because I had a recurrence, they
Speaker 2: said it was the same illness, so I couldn't get
Speaker 2: it again. So I was on center Link And never
Speaker 2: again will I say anything about people who can't live
Speaker 2: on Central Link benefits because it's nothing. So anyway, I
Speaker 2: wasn't centralingk for a while, but I was in hospital,
Speaker 2: so I wasn't doing anything. So then I got back
Speaker 2: to work and then I'm now working in the office
Speaker 2: a few days a week. I'm doing a different role
Speaker 2: to my normal one, but my goal is to do
Speaker 2: my normal job because I've got the best team in Australia.
Speaker 2: But they've been so kind and at the moment, they're
Speaker 2: getting four doors replaced with those push buttons because I
Speaker 2: can't get in and out of the doors, which they
Speaker 2: asked to be done in I think August, but they're
Speaker 2: now only getting it now done now because builders and
Speaker 2: stuff like that. But yeah, they've been so kind. And
Speaker 2: when I went back to work, I actually haven't been
Speaker 2: to a lot of different flows because I feel highly
Speaker 2: conspicuous in the chair and I actually feel a bit
Speaker 2: ashamed of myself that I'm not better because everyone was
Speaker 2: so kind to me. I feel like I've let people
Speaker 2: down that I'm not walking. Really, yeah, it's a big burden.
Speaker 1: Why do you feel that? Do you think because of
Speaker 1: your athleticism and where you've grown.
Speaker 2: I think it's because everybody keeps saying, oh, you're so
Speaker 2: inspirational and you know, so you're so brave and blah
Speaker 2: blah blah. I still can't freaking walk. I feel like
Speaker 2: I should be better. Everyone's put in so much effort.
Speaker 1: But what's better? You're alive? Yeah, caav I honestly, I
Speaker 1: and I'm just saying this because we're on a podcast
Speaker 1: and I'm blowing We're up your ass. I see you
Speaker 1: in it. You're like a breath of fresh air. And
Speaker 1: I actually don't see the wheelchair, and I'm sure a
Speaker 1: lot of people don't. Yeah, but there's such a weird
Speaker 1: ust thing in Australia and a lot of countries around disability,
Speaker 1: and I hate really it's like alcoholism. I hate that
Speaker 1: term too, and I hate talking about it, you know.
Speaker 1: But I just see your bright, beautiful face. I don't
Speaker 1: see the other stuff except your sister when she's bulling you, and.
Speaker 2: She's the worst, the devil. She's also redhead. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I just feel like I'm getting somewhere. And then the
Speaker 2: other day I went to that really fancy fish restaurant
Speaker 2: down the Fosh, which is amazing and they're so lovely
Speaker 2: and I've got the best rose in Australia, which is French.
Speaker 2: I think we're Italian. Anyway, I went to Fosh and
Speaker 2: I was meeting my girlfriend, one of my girlfriends for
Speaker 2: lunch and it was just before Christmas. Had a frock on.
Speaker 2: Got myself there and I came in and there were
Speaker 2: two people at the table next to me and they
Speaker 2: stared at me and stared at me and stared at me.
Speaker 2: And he was eating with his mouth open, and she
Speaker 2: was wearing terrible shoes, so they were obviously the devil.
Speaker 2: But the guy that was opening was looked at me,
Speaker 2: and I looked at him. You know, it's kind of
Speaker 2: that I see you looking at me, And I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a pretty impressive bit of kid, isn't it, Because
Speaker 2: I'd reversed myself in and everything. And he just kept
Speaker 2: looking at me with his mouth open, like chewing his mouth.
Speaker 2: And then he turns to his wife and says, I
Speaker 2: wonder what's wrong with her? And I thought, oh god,
Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't know what to do. And then
Speaker 2: the woman with the ugly shoes, who would have to
Speaker 2: be his wife, because you wouldn't eat with it. Why
Speaker 2: would you eat with someone you eat with the mouth open.
Speaker 2: But anyway, she was saying, I don't know, she doesn't
Speaker 2: look too sick to me. I bet she's just putting
Speaker 2: it on.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I was so overwhelmed and upset, and I was waiting
Speaker 2: for my friend and I was nervous about going and
Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff, and so I put something
Speaker 2: up on the Facebook page and said, oh god, this
Speaker 2: is just happened. Help you know, And the funniest thing
Speaker 2: is the number of people that like privately messaged me
Speaker 2: that were offering significant violence disposing of bodies. You know,
Speaker 2: I'll put them in jail. Were coppers, corrections officers, fire
Speaker 2: service officers, and judicial officers so like that. So everybody
Speaker 2: was really mad. And the best thing was that I
Speaker 2: could actually outsource that anger. And someone said, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: you're such a great advocate. I don't want to be
Speaker 2: a friggin advocate. I want my life back, do you know.
Speaker 2: And it's it's difficult because my life before was so active.
Speaker 2: I was never home on the weekends. I was always
Speaker 2: riding a bike or and half that was because I
Speaker 2: didn't you know, I was at home, wasn't home. So
Speaker 2: I don't quite know what to do with myself on
Speaker 2: the weekends.
Speaker 1: Now I've to teach some crochet.
Speaker 2: We'll see, Yeah, I can't do that because I have
Speaker 2: like got RSI with my hands and stuff. Like everything
Speaker 2: I try to do is just it's everything is more difficult.
Speaker 2: And like standing up when you have to go right
Speaker 2: and left, don't fall over because you've got belly, any
Speaker 2: pelvic bone. You know, where's the cat? You know? Put
Speaker 2: on the brakes on the four wheel walker, which I
Speaker 2: hate and all that sort of stuff. I go to
Speaker 2: bed and I'm exhausted mentally, and I would have walked
Speaker 2: maybe one hundred steps in a day.
Speaker 1: I suppose you're always having to think about like we
Speaker 1: just think and do it when we're able bodied.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: I suppose you're constantly having to think about the navigation
Speaker 1: of things of everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Because you were.
Speaker 1: Just saying when you came in about having you were
Speaker 1: doing some work about crossing.
Speaker 2: A walkway, crossing the road, lessons, the road lessons.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Now, I wouldn't have thought that was the
Speaker 1: thing until you told me. But I don't have to
Speaker 1: think about it because I'm in that position.
Speaker 2: But you were taught to cross the road when you're
Speaker 2: a little kid and you're holding your mum's hand and
Speaker 2: you did the heck to the road safety thing, look
Speaker 2: to the left, look to the right, look to the
Speaker 2: left again. Yeah, that's it. So all of that training
Speaker 2: and that wrote learning to actually cross the road safely
Speaker 2: you learned as a kid, and as a kid, particularly
Speaker 2: when you're learning a language and stuff like that too.
Speaker 2: It's much easier for children to learn languages because I
Speaker 2: don't take it personally if they mispronounce something, because they
Speaker 2: mispronounce everything, you know, count the number of steps one, two, three,
Speaker 2: four and all that sort of stuff. So you have
Speaker 2: learnt the skills to cross the road, but you've forgotten
Speaker 2: about it because it's intuitive. Yeah, yeah, whereas I have
Speaker 2: the only intuitive thing that I and this is I
Speaker 2: think I was saying to you. All of my relationships
Speaker 2: are different. I'm not doing the same work that I
Speaker 2: used to do. I'm not living where I used to
Speaker 2: live because even though I own the place it has stairs,
Speaker 2: I can't go home. I haven't got any of my
Speaker 2: artwork up on the walls because I'm renting. You know,
Speaker 2: everything has different, but the only thing that's the same
Speaker 2: is I have Bumble, who doesn't like me and never
Speaker 2: has Bumbles a rescue cat and should be more grateful.
Speaker 2: But so it's it's difficult. It's a difficult geek. And
Speaker 2: like for me to get out of bed in the
Speaker 2: morning takes me ten minutes. I've been timing myself back,
Speaker 2: have you, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because I mean I think, actually ten minutes is actually
Speaker 1: pretty good.
Speaker 2: That's what takes me.
Speaker 1: Half an hour.
Speaker 2: Like that's so I wake up and I think ow
Speaker 2: I'm sore, and then for me to get like get upright,
Speaker 2: get to the side of the bed, stand up and
Speaker 2: get to like into the kitchen, which is like a
Speaker 2: lofty seven steps because of the world's smallest apartments, takes
Speaker 2: me ten minutes where.
Speaker 1: Too from here with you, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, like I've still got I had the big operation
Speaker 2: in June twenty twenty three. I had the big operation
Speaker 2: June twenty twenty four. Just before I left oh they
Speaker 2: discovered that I'd had another growth in my lungs, so
Speaker 2: I had to have that removed. So from June twenty
Speaker 2: twenty four, I've now got a two year window before
Speaker 2: the chance of recurrence of the cancer reduces significantly. So
Speaker 2: although I'm tempted to buy a place at Portside, I'm
Speaker 2: tempted to do lots of things. I kind of just
Speaker 2: needed to settle for the next day in months and
Speaker 2: just calm down and try and consolidate some stuff. It's difficult,
Speaker 2: Like normally I would travel every eighteen months and go
Speaker 2: overseas and come back with horrific credit card bills because
Speaker 2: I'm bad at conversion or I think no, fifty euros
Speaker 2: can't certainly cut be one hundred dollars, it's far too expensive,
Speaker 2: must be twenty five. So I don't have any goals
Speaker 2: or aspirations, which is really difficult for me because I
Speaker 2: can't plan and I grew up in the hole. If
Speaker 2: you filed a plan, you're planning to fail. So yeah,
Speaker 2: So the next next eight ten months for me is
Speaker 2: just calming down a bit and trying to not get
Speaker 2: I think paralyzed with terror. Every three months when I
Speaker 2: have the scans, that's a low point. You know, if
Speaker 2: you're paying twelve hundred dollars for a scan, I mean
Speaker 2: I could spend twelve hundred bucks at a day, so
Speaker 2: but I have a much better time.
Speaker 1: So it cost you twelve hundred dollars every time you
Speaker 1: have I want to say.
Speaker 2: So, yes, I do get some money back from the government,
Speaker 2: and depending on what day of the week it is,
Speaker 2: and depending what sort of scan it is, I pay
Speaker 2: for pet scans and I have them done privately. And
Speaker 2: that's why I have private health insurance because I do
Speaker 2: not want to wait. I will not wait for the
Speaker 2: public system to catch up with me because I needed
Speaker 2: to get on top of that any growth and stuff
Speaker 2: like that as quickly as I possibly can, so, yeah,
Speaker 2: so I probably could get them through the public system,
Speaker 2: but I will not wait. And also my main surgeon
Speaker 2: is in the private sector, so he can access them
Speaker 2: electronically easier to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so wonderful that system where they can allays
Speaker 1: go log in and they can have a Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: magic in real time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: How did you find the nursing stuff and did you
Speaker 1: see a big difference between the private and the public.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did, yes, I think without exception, all of
Speaker 2: the nurses that looked laugh to me were incredibly kind
Speaker 2: to me, and I worked very hard to be pleasant
Speaker 2: and polite and kind to the nursing stuff as well.
Speaker 2: You never want to be the person that's the reason
Speaker 2: somebody has a bad day, and you don't want to
Speaker 2: be on that bitch in bed for because there must
Speaker 2: be bitches in bed fourer so so, and I was,
Speaker 2: and my mum of course, and my grandmother, like my
Speaker 2: nana and my mum's sister, they're all nurses. So no,
Speaker 2: I'm going to get smacked in the face if I
Speaker 2: upset the nursing stuff. Without exception, all of the nurses
Speaker 2: were very kind to me in the private system. I
Speaker 2: think that the patient to nurse ratio is much lower.
Speaker 2: And I must admit the nurse teams that looked after
Speaker 2: me and the nurse director who looked after me in
Speaker 2: the private system, and the director of nursing came to
Speaker 2: see me and stuff like everyone was really nice to me,
Speaker 2: which is so bizarre. But they would come and like
Speaker 2: one of the nurses were coming in, she'd spray like
Speaker 2: you know, aromatherapy missed around and they like they would seriously.
Speaker 2: One of the would come and rob my head so
Speaker 2: I could go to sleep better, and they were so kind.
Speaker 2: In the public system, I think there's a much higher
Speaker 2: patient to nurse ratio, so I don't think they have
Speaker 2: the space perhaps to give as much individualized attention. And also,
Speaker 2: like the in the public system, I was sharing so
Speaker 2: when I was in the rehab ward, you only had
Speaker 2: females in rooms. If you were sharing a room in
Speaker 2: the main hospital, you had males and females in the
Speaker 2: same way. That sucked. That that sucks big time.
Speaker 1: It's awful. And I know they do it for beds
Speaker 1: and so that you know the maximum capacity with beds,
Speaker 1: but it is who ever came up with that, I
Speaker 1: don't know it is the worst thing to do, especially
Speaker 1: you know, more mature ladies, depending on what's going on
Speaker 1: with you, Like you don't want to be sharing a
Speaker 1: bathroom with a guy.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not even like I mean that. The Remember,
Speaker 2: the lowest point for me was my sister. I'd been saying, oh,
Speaker 2: these nurses the worst and this is the worst ward,
Speaker 2: blah blah blah, and Susy thinks she's just sick of
Speaker 2: being in hospital, all right. And it was day four
Speaker 2: hundred and forty seven, and I was in a shared
Speaker 2: ward and there was a lot of in and out
Speaker 2: people coming into this particular ward, and I've been there
Speaker 2: for maybe four or five days, and I'd had somebody
Speaker 2: next to me in a bed who was very psychiatrically
Speaker 2: unwell and was trying to self harm, who was waiting,
Speaker 2: I think, to get into the mental health component. She
Speaker 2: had down Arexians and was trying to she was unwell,
Speaker 2: but you know, the security is coming up and you know,
Speaker 2: restraining her and all that sort of stuff. Anyway, and
Speaker 2: I said, oh, well, Susus, I got to get over
Speaker 2: yourself gaf. Anyway, she came up and I'd had to
Speaker 2: have a shower and I was obviously in a wheelchair,
Speaker 2: in a bath chair, and I'd been left in the
Speaker 2: shower for forty five minutes after I'd had a shower,
Speaker 2: because nobody could answer the bell to come and get
Speaker 2: me out, and because I was sharing a war with
Speaker 2: men and women, I actually didn't feel comfortable calling out
Speaker 2: for someone to come and help me. And then the
Speaker 2: door kept being and knocked on because all these men
Speaker 2: wanted to have showers because they were going in for
Speaker 2: it was just the worst. And then the lowest point
Speaker 2: I was saying, and Susie came in. She said, oh, no,
Speaker 2: she's possibly not exaggerating, which is a nice change for me.
Speaker 2: And the junior nurse said to me, oh, look, if
Speaker 2: you can just pop up and step over here, and
Speaker 2: I went, I can't freaking walk, I mean, bloody hell fire,
Speaker 2: but yeah, so I think I have the chance. You
Speaker 2: read the charts pit. I actually said that to an
Speaker 2: occupational therapy but she came in and said, I think
Speaker 2: we'll just walk around, or just go around and set
Speaker 2: in the sun and breathe in and breathe out. And
Speaker 2: I said, have you read my file? Do you know
Speaker 2: who I am? But I think that the patient to
Speaker 2: start ratio is I don't I believe is much higher.
Speaker 2: You know, you've got more staff to less patients in
Speaker 2: the public system private system. I don't know if conditions
Speaker 2: are better or worse in public versus private for the
Speaker 2: nursing and.
Speaker 1: Conditions are better, pays better in public, yes, the private
Speaker 1: nurses get paid less. Yeah, yeah, So I think I
Speaker 1: think there's definitely a.
Speaker 2: Payoff with like a you know, like a a trade
Speaker 2: off that you have. And I think that for my
Speaker 2: health and my thing, I was incredibly lucky that for
Speaker 2: the last sort of I think about six months at
Speaker 2: least maybe even eight months of my stay in the
Speaker 2: public system, I had my own room.
Speaker 1: That is like you are blessed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And and it was it was through the hard
Speaker 2: work and the advocacy by my consultant and the nurse
Speaker 2: unit manager and stuff like that that I got that
Speaker 2: room and I kept that room because there's not many people,
Speaker 2: even in rehab who are who are working.
Speaker 1: Oh, and I think that wonderful and not just that
Speaker 1: you know, you were contributing because of the type of
Speaker 1: work you do, which we can't discuss on here. You
Speaker 1: were contributing to our community. You were It's amazing what
Speaker 1: work can do for your mental health and that you
Speaker 1: feel valuable. You know that you're you yourself, are doing something,
Speaker 1: You've got something to look forward to, something to get
Speaker 1: up to do. And when it comes to healing and
Speaker 1: you know, self worth and mental health, there's just so
Speaker 1: many amazing things that are around you. Are having your
Speaker 1: own space but also being able to work in that,
Speaker 1: you know, while you're going through rehab, actually contributing and
Speaker 1: not feeling like a patient.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the best thing for me was
Speaker 2: when I went back to work and I was on
Speaker 2: a teams meeting and of course everyone's really familiar with
Speaker 2: like working virtually and working for I'm kind of pre COVID.
Speaker 2: Was when I got sick, all right, so everyone else is,
Speaker 2: I'll just get onto this white share point thing and
Speaker 2: we'll look at this file together. I didn't know what
Speaker 2: the hell they were talking about. But one of the
Speaker 2: best things for me was I could blur the background
Speaker 2: so nobody knew where I was. But also I was
Speaker 2: talking to people that neither knew nor cared that I'd
Speaker 2: been unwell, so they either liked me or disliked me
Speaker 2: based on the skills qualifications, humor or otherwise that I
Speaker 2: brought to the table, which was kind of nice as well.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, it's like none of that happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, it was just you. It
Speaker 2: was just me, for better or worse. And I actually
Speaker 2: really wanted people to dislike me because it meant that
Speaker 2: they didn't feel sorry for me. Well on that.
Speaker 1: No, I just want you to know I think fabulous.
Speaker 2: I love you, and it's been we're going to get
Speaker 2: We're going to get Lola to love me. Yet, we
Speaker 2: will get Lola to love you.
Speaker 1: We'll just I'll get you more treats and giving you. Seriously,
Speaker 1: but thank you for taking the time well to come
Speaker 1: and chat with this about your experience. I little in
Speaker 1: awe of your resilience, thanks, babe, because I don't know
Speaker 1: if i'd have it.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, if you don't have any other option,
Speaker 2: if you only if your option is you're falling to
Speaker 2: pieces and no one's going to pick you up.
Speaker 1: You have to be resilient, now that you put it
Speaker 1: that way, And look, you know what, we all have
Speaker 1: different challenges.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's right, that's right. Yeah, just try not to
Speaker 2: be addicted to people. I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just show a bit of tenderness. That's all it
Speaker 1: takes to say Hi.
Speaker 2: Yep, you never know what people are going through. Even
Speaker 2: the girls that look like they've got everything happening might
Speaker 2: end up, like you know, with a mum with dementia.
Speaker 2: You just don't know.
Speaker 1: Ye, thank you for taking the time to see me.
Speaker 1: You're welcome, and no doubt I'll see out and about
Speaker 1: with the dolls.
Speaker 2: Oh look, we can only hope. Thanks Gav, You're welcome.