1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:02,680 Speaker 1: With Kate Ritchie podcast. 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 2: It is Fitzy Whipper with Kate Richie and Kate Richie. 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: What do you say? 4 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,639 Speaker 3: No, No, Kate Richie's not here, Fitzy's not here. This 5 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 3: is not the normal recording of the Fitty Whip Ate 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,240 Speaker 3: Richie podcast. Yes, this is a special thing between you 7 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 3: and I. 8 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: How good that we finally got it on camera recorded. 9 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 3: What I mean, Saucy Saucy if that's what you want 10 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 3: to call the podcast, especially edition of Saucy Saucy. 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 2: It is the Far Too Personal podcast where we unpack 12 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 2: the novella you have written that. 13 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,959 Speaker 1: Little bit more? Do you call it a novella? 14 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 3: Is that French for novel? 15 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: I think it's Italian for book? 16 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 3: Yeah? I knew that because actually. 17 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 2: Oh well, Mama Mia spaghett space, John space saghetti. 18 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 3: That's different now. John was the main focus of that 19 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 3: count of spaghetti that went into space. He will never 20 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 3: be associated, Jess with the Far Too Personal Trainer. 21 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: Well, you don't know that he could be one of those. 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 2: I know there's been a lot of orders at the 23 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 2: book and you can still buy it the Far Too 24 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 2: Personal Trainer dot com. 25 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: How do you know? None of them are not family men. 26 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 3: Mum said she would order through a friend and that's 27 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,760 Speaker 3: how she'd get a copy of the book. Louise, my 28 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 3: sister yesterday said I need a copy of that book. 29 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 3: I said, to what, I'll tell you what. They're individually wrapped. 30 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 3: I will give you one wrapped and it needs to 31 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 3: remain wrapped. If I see it unwrapped, I'll burn your 32 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 3: house down. 33 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: So all they want is to look at the cover shot. 34 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 2: So really, you're saying your sister is in love with 35 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: matter de grootzleg. 36 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 3: Yes, that's all I mean, How could you not be? 37 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 3: I'm missing a lot of calf muscle, though, that's the 38 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 3: feedback spain, not so much the personal trainer, more a 39 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 3: traffic pig. They've been described as right. 40 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 2: Also missing a lot of a lot of content in 41 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 2: the book, a lot of story, some would say, which 42 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 2: I would say, they're wrong with this. There is a 43 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,639 Speaker 2: lot of story. There's a lot of heart in this book. 44 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 2: And what I was hoping we could do today is 45 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 2: let's let's unpack a scene where we get to know 46 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 2: the main characters a little bit more. 47 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: Because everyone's saying, you know, it's you've written. 48 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 2: A porno whotten again incorrect he's written a porno that 49 00:01:58,920 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 2: has a story in front of it. 50 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: We'd love to hear it. 51 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 3: You're right, and every good book, Jess, the narrative is crucial. 52 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,239 Speaker 3: So you need a beginning, a middle, and an end, Jess. 53 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 3: That is the art of storytelling. Now, I don't care 54 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 3: whether you're doing a talk break on radio, I'm giving 55 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 3: you some behind the scenes, or you're writing in erotic fiction. 56 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,920 Speaker 3: You must have all three parts. So what I wanted 57 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 3: to do I wanted to let you know about his 58 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 3: love interest Emily Shine. He loves married women, and married 59 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 3: women love him. We've established that, Jess, haven't we on 60 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 3: our podcast Saucy Saucy. But what's great about it is 61 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 3: you learn about some of his relationships. And the one 62 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 3: relationship in his life is with a girl called Emily Shine, 63 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 3: and he was completely in love with her. But here's 64 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 3: the thing, he can't stop his bad boy antics and 65 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 3: maybe that played a role in why the couple didn't 66 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,239 Speaker 3: work out. But I want to read a part of 67 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 3: the book today which shows Ben and a little bit 68 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 3: more of his heart because he does have a off side. 69 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: Well, I would love to hear that. Please only give 70 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: you a heart. 71 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 3: Okay, thank you, and off you go. I'll never forget 72 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 3: the night I told my family that we'd broken up. 73 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,239 Speaker 3: Poor God. When they found out it was my fault too, 74 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 3: they rejected me like I was a trader in the camp. 75 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 3: We were together for three years, and she was the 76 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 3: girl who joined us for Sunday night dinners, weekends away, 77 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 3: and even her family joined us for Christmas one year. 78 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 3: You get the idea. It's actually quite a funny story 79 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 3: how we meant. It was a night out with a 80 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 3: few boys and we were heading to the bar in 81 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 3: Double Bay, the Golden Sheaf Chason Taylor, you might say, 82 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 3: you know what it's like. On the way to the pub, 83 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 3: we walked past a house that had a huge been 84 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 3: out the front. Everything was in there, the TV and 85 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: old mattress, a broken lamp, but there was also a 86 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 3: German to English translation handbook. I remember thinking this could 87 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 3: be fun. How far could I go pretending to be 88 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 3: German for the night. The first joke I made was 89 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 3: standing in front of the security guard, flipping through the 90 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 3: pages before lifting my head and saying dunker, which is 91 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 3: thank you in a really shit accent. I remember thinking 92 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 3: it was funny at the time. I was on fire, 93 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 3: but recalling it now it makes me want to punch 94 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 3: myself in the head. I took the jerk as far 95 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 3: as looking across at another bloke in the urinol and 96 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 3: calling out barbwashed German sausage joke. I thought it was brilliant. 97 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 3: It seemed to me that I could bullshit my way 98 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 3: through any conversation if I changed the pronunciation of for example, 99 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 3: we just won the World Cup. See it works. I 100 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 3: remember seeing him walked in. She had a face that 101 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 3: just said come and meet me. One of those people 102 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 3: who seem like you want to be around, or they 103 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 3: haven't even met them. She had a body that you 104 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 3: just wanted to jump, amazing long legs and on the 105 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 3: night cleavage that would shaddy your heart if it broke 106 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 3: your stare. She was there with a group of friends 107 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 3: that were heading to a twenty first birthday party. It 108 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,280 Speaker 3: was a wild West theme, so unless you're a cross 109 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 3: dressing gunslinging sheriff, then you're at the wrong bar. She 110 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 3: had a red silk dress on with frills just above 111 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 3: her knee. Of course, a black fishnet stocking that left 112 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 3: you wondering if they went all the way up or 113 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 3: whether she was just wearing suspenders. Her dark brown hair 114 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,840 Speaker 3: was up in a barn with tendrils. I googled that 115 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 3: falling around her face, their little ringlet things jest like 116 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 3: little bits of hair. 117 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 2: Can I just ask a serious question, just jumping quickly? 118 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 2: Is this the first time you're reading this? 119 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 3: Because I'm a bad reader? 120 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 1: Just yeah? I feel like you're getting shocked. 121 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,359 Speaker 3: Along with oly I wrote this ten years ago. 122 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: But have you read it since hitting print? 123 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 3: No? No, So I apologize for my reading. She had 124 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 3: red lipstick on to match her red dress. Sick. I 125 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 3: know what you're thinking, Wow, this guy's really deep. He's 126 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 3: been drinking at the pub and a woman's walked in 127 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 3: looking like a prostitute, and all of a sudden he's interested. 128 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 3: It was the way she carried herself, her generous smile, 129 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 3: her timid laugh. There was a sense of shyness that 130 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 3: came across as polite I was at the bar. As 131 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 3: she stood there with friends, her eyes were looking around, 132 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 3: trying to find the right spot to settle. And as 133 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 3: they look bad typo and as those ves crossed through 134 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 3: the line of sight, I stood up as if I 135 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,359 Speaker 3: was looking around, hoping that midsearch her eyes might connect 136 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 3: and that would be the icebreaker whatever was going to 137 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 3: happen that night, there was only one thing I had 138 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 3: to do. Introduce myself to the wild cleavage showing bar 139 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 3: wench in the nicest way possible. It wasn't long after 140 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 3: she'd been looking around that I heard one of her 141 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 3: friends say. 142 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: Let's just get a drink. Oh good boy, thank you. 143 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 3: And it was at that moment I pieced together that 144 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 3: she was getting a drink and I was standing at 145 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 3: the bar, and it would mean she was coming towards me. 146 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 3: I remember how focused I became, and like an faad 147 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 3: in fighter pilot that had just received my mission and 148 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 3: the target had been identified as if in slow motion, 149 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,919 Speaker 3: M made her way towards the bar five meters four meters, 150 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 3: three meters two meters and gaining Hang on, who the 151 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 3: fuck is that M? I heard some bloke yelling as 152 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 3: he moved fast towards my assigned target. Who was this 153 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 3: and why hadn't I picked up on the competition that 154 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 3: was too attractive for my liking. I also assume from 155 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 3: the leather chaps, matching vest, red scarf and cowboy hat 156 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 3: that he was off for the same party, and even 157 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 3: maybe her boyfriend. I don't like competition, but I back myself. 158 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 3: I just didn't realize that to win the heart of 159 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 3: the girl I wanted to meet, I was going to 160 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 3: have to fight the milky bar kid Jess. I end 161 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 3: the reading there as a teaser because the next move 162 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 3: is the conversation that happens at the bar. 163 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 2: So can I ask, because I know that last time 164 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 2: we recorded a pod we unpacked that this German scene 165 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 2: came from Hamish that was a bit straight out of 166 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 2: the old Blakey playbook. Well, and you said that he 167 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 2: kind of lives in isolation of that moment. The rest 168 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 2: of the character's not based on him. What about Emily? 169 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 2: Is that an ex girlfriend? Is that someone in your 170 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,679 Speaker 2: life that maybe disappear too soon? 171 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 3: Or Emily was simply a picture that I painted, a 172 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 3: picture that I thought might be enough to be a 173 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 3: great distraction for Ben and someone to stop him in 174 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 3: his tracks. I needed that shining light to enter his life, 175 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 3: for him to realize that his behavior and that women 176 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 3: could actually mean more to him than just some of 177 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 3: the experiences that he's having. 178 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: And did you ever have that moment yourself growing up? 179 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 3: Whip Flee? 180 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: Oh, that's beautiful. 181 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, and that is the next book that I've written, 182 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 3: The far far Too Personal Trainer. 183 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 2: I thought that was the far too Handy husband. 184 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 3: What are you talking about? The far too I was wondering, 185 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 3: husband that after ten years doesn't sleep into bed with 186 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 3: his wife, Jess. 187 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: That's not I mean, that's a very dull sequence, isn't it. 188 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 3: That is a boring sequel. It's just a dot to 189 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 3: dot when you open the pages. 190 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 2: So in terms of people buying this book, you can 191 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 2: go to the Far Too Personal Trainer dot com and 192 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 2: purchase it. Now, what do you hope they get out 193 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 2: of this relationship with Emily and with Ben in the 194 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 2: in the book? The story behind all the bits and 195 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 2: pieces that happened. 196 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 3: Great question, And I think if we wind back slightly, 197 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 3: who's the book for. It's for men that might need 198 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 3: to grow up slightly, that enjoy the entertainment of Ben flirting, 199 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,959 Speaker 3: But it's also for women to understand how men work 200 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 3: and how they think. So I think what you like 201 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 3: is learning about Benners himself and his immature ways. But 202 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 3: then the change is required and needed to be made 203 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: in his life, so you'll understand the way he needs 204 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 3: to change if he wants to be serious about his 205 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 3: love for Emily Wa. 206 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to Michael John Whipfley describe 207 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 2: what can only be heralded as the replacement to men 208 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 2: of from Mars, women. 209 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 3: Are from Vemas. Oh my god, you heard it here. 210 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 2: Far too personal trainer available now dot com com, Available 211 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 2: now and obviously teaching. 212 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: Men for many years to come how to behave around him, but. 213 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 3: How not to behave as well. 214 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: Jess, see you on the next pot. 215 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 3: See if you don't ube like that cutting you off? 216 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 3: Thank you. 217 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 1: Bitsy and Wepper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast. 218 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 2: For more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast 219 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 2: dot com jod au