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Speaker 1: I'll get a welcome to another and storm on the show.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of we probably should have started this

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Speaker 1: five minutes ago, because last five minutes have been wildly inappropriate,

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Speaker 1: moderately entertaining, and pretty fucking funny, and Tiff and Jody

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Speaker 1: leading the funny charge. We'll start with curly hair Hi, Tiff, Hi,

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Speaker 1: curly soon yes? And Dr Jody Hi, doc.

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Speaker 2: Hey tif we were just let's continue because I think

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Speaker 2: this is interesting.

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Speaker 3: Well, not the part exactly where we left off.

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Speaker 1: Not not that bit because that would although you did

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Speaker 1: mention some I mentioned a thing that I imagine would

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Speaker 1: be excruciating and that some people might like that. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about how painful well a PhD is, But

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Speaker 1: I guess it's not. It's all relative, isn't it. But

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Speaker 1: and how many people say did they say the same

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Speaker 1: to you, Jody? Like you enjoying it? Is it fun?

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Speaker 1: Are you? You know? Because I get a bit of that,

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Speaker 1: and you don't want to be negative, but it's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad I'm doing it, and it's worthwhile and it's

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Speaker 1: it's kind of rewarding, kind of not but but it's

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Speaker 1: certainly not enjoyable, not for most people anyway, is it.

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Speaker 2: Look, it's it is just relentless hard work, disappointment, starting over, rethinking.

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Speaker 2: And I did it full time, so it was a

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Speaker 2: little bit different. So I was only really surrounded by

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Speaker 2: other people who were.

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Speaker 3: Doing similar things.

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Speaker 2: And nobody was asking anybody if they're enjoying it because

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Speaker 2: they kind of knew the answer. But a lot of

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Speaker 2: tears just you for me, I don't know about you,

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Speaker 2: and just kind of expectations and uncertainty, and yeah, that's it's.

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Speaker 3: It's hard.

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Speaker 2: It's a hard, hard road and that what that's what

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Speaker 2: makes it so sweet when you get there.

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Speaker 3: But it's it's a lot of hard work ups.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, and if you've decided it's probably not a

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Speaker 1: route you're going to take. No.

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Speaker 4: I sometimes I think, gee, I should get smarter and

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Speaker 4: I should study something, and then I look over my

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Speaker 4: shoulder at you and.

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Speaker 2: Go fuck that.

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Speaker 1: But as I said to you before we started rolling,

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Speaker 1: like I mean, I don't mean this to sound offensive

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Speaker 1: to academics, because some academics are brilliant and beautiful and amazing,

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Speaker 1: But getting a PhD doesn't mean you're smart necessarily. I

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Speaker 1: think it depends how you define smart, and you know

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Speaker 1: the context. And like I've spoken many times about the Crab,

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Speaker 1: my training partner who finished school I think year ten

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Speaker 1: or eleven, and I reckon in about ninety seven out

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Speaker 1: of one hundred situations, the crab is smarter than me.

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Speaker 1: You know, he's smart. He's just practically smart, you know.

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Speaker 1: And he can just figure shit out that I can't

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Speaker 1: figure out. You know. It's like intelligence is really fluid,

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Speaker 1: it's dynamic. It's not like if you've got a kind

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Speaker 1: of social and emotional and situational intelligence that you can't

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Speaker 1: even teach people like your ability to do to and

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to piss in your pocket, but to

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Speaker 1: start a podcast from scratch, and I mean this respectfully,

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Speaker 1: with no profile, nobody knew who the fuck you were.

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Speaker 1: You taught yourself how to be a podcaster, how to produce,

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Speaker 1: how to edit, how to do all the video stuff,

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Speaker 1: all the audio stuff, how to do the pr stuff,

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Speaker 1: how to build a brand. You didn't have a cheer squad,

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Speaker 1: you didn't have anyone helping you. Now, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: Bullpark a thousand episodes in, you've got sponsors, You're on Nova.

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Speaker 1: Like that takes not only does that take talent and creativity.

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Speaker 1: But that's a kind of intelligence that a lot of

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Speaker 1: people don't have and will never have.

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Speaker 4: It's really interesting, as you know, I'm doing a course

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Speaker 4: at the moment, and we're like feeling how I feel.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes I've been challenged think differently, or processed inly or

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Speaker 4: categorize my thoughts, and I just get these moments where

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Speaker 4: I would reflect back to school and go, well, I

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Speaker 4: just wouldn't. I would just turf that subject. I would

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Speaker 4: either do it or I wouldn't back then. And if

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Speaker 4: I was back then right now, not paying for this course,

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Speaker 4: in this thing I want to do, I just wouldn't

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Speaker 4: do it. But I'm stuck in this space of like, well,

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Speaker 4: you have to suck it up and you have to

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Speaker 4: find a way if.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're doing it. You know, I think like

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Speaker 1: I think when we talk in our culture about our

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Speaker 1: society about intelligence, we're talking about a specific kind of

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Speaker 1: cognitive capacity or intellectual capacity, which is, oh, she's good

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Speaker 1: at school, she's getting marks, she's she's scored one hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty five, she's borderline mensa, she's on an IQ test.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's like, and that's not to say they're

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Speaker 1: not smart. It's to say that by using this protocol

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Speaker 1: or this measure or this metric, they score highly. Now

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Speaker 1: if we use another metric, they won't score highly. But

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Speaker 1: you're still not going to say they're stupid, do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, I know lots of academics

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Speaker 1: who would have I'm sure they would have an IQ

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Speaker 1: somewhere around one point, which is very, very high. But

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Speaker 1: you throw them a ball that hits them in the face,

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Speaker 1: you give them a crying baby. They don't know what

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Speaker 1: the fuck to do. You tell them, you go, just

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Speaker 1: stand in front of this group and keep everyone entertained

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Speaker 1: for four minutes. I'll be back. They capitulate, you know,

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Speaker 1: they build a business, they don't know where to start.

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Speaker 1: You say, solve this kind of problem. They don't know

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Speaker 1: how to. And it's not that they're dumb. It's just

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Speaker 1: that intelligence is quite often situation and task and context dependent,

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Speaker 1: I think, doctor Jody, I agree.

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Speaker 2: And it's if you care enough about something and you're

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Speaker 2: willing to learn and be a beginner and start at

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Speaker 2: the beginning and develop the skills and feel a bit,

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Speaker 2: you know, stupid. Sometimes it's a very uncomfortable place to

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Speaker 2: sit between kind of the I'm here and I want

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Speaker 2: to be there, and I'm in this middle. But I

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Speaker 2: really think that when you're passionate about something, you've got

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Speaker 2: the perseverance that you know, your book smarts aren't as important.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, how willing are you to learn? How hard

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Speaker 2: are you going to work for it? How much do

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Speaker 2: you want it.

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Speaker 3: That you know?

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Speaker 2: I always look at my brother and me, and and

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Speaker 2: now I'm questioning was it my brother? And I know

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Speaker 2: it's my brother and me myself, I don't know. Grammar's

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Speaker 2: not my I mean, I've written two books. Grammar should

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Speaker 2: be my strength. I overthink that anyway.

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Speaker 3: Getting back to it, I.

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Speaker 1: Love watching you go down the rabbit hole at your own.

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Speaker 2: My brother Adam is like highly intelligent, like PhD, two masters, physics, maths, finance, analytics,

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Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff, and it always seemed so

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Speaker 2: easy for him. I always did well at school, but

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Speaker 2: I always worked really really.

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Speaker 3: Hard to do well.

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Speaker 2: And I think to what you were saying Craig before,

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Speaker 2: about you know, we have strengths in different areas of

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Speaker 2: our life. I mean, I was book smart, but I

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Speaker 2: wasn't street smart. I could walk into a social setting, though,

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Speaker 2: and be very, very comfortable and have those kind of

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Speaker 2: that social intelligence, and not everybody you know has that,

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Speaker 2: and that's something that other people have to work harder towards.

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Speaker 2: So we've all got our strengths, we've all got our weaknesses,

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Speaker 2: and I really believe we can improve where we want

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Speaker 2: to put the effort in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think also we confuse acquiring knowledge with becoming smarter.

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Speaker 1: So I just no more like, I've acquired lots of

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Speaker 1: knowledge in the last five and a half years, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not smarter. Inherently smarter. I don't have a higher IQ.

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Speaker 1: I'm not innately more clever or more intelligent than I

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Speaker 1: was in twenty nineteen when I started. I would suspect

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Speaker 1: I probably test exactly the same if we were going

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Speaker 1: to test my IQ. But I have acquired knowledge now.

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Speaker 1: The thing is that anyone can acquire knowledge. If you

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Speaker 1: want to acquire you can figure out. Like people think

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Speaker 1: I'm being disingenuous when I say you don't need to

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Speaker 1: be a genius to do a PhD. You need to

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Speaker 1: be you need to have some intelligence, but you need

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Speaker 1: to have clarity and a work ethic, and you need

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Speaker 1: to be able to ask good questions. Learn new things,

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Speaker 1: you need to be very organized, very structured, very accountabile, accountable.

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Speaker 1: But do you need to be a genius. You definitely don't.

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Speaker 1: And then there are other people who would have a

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Speaker 1: much higher IQ than me who are definitely not suited

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Speaker 1: to doing academia.

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Speaker 3: What's they're smart?

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Speaker 4: What's the trait that is crucial for someone doing a

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Speaker 4: PhD that someone just learning existing knowledge doesn't need?

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Speaker 1: Uh say that again?

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Speaker 3: What's the what is the trait or traits?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So I think because like when you're just freestyling

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Speaker 1: like you and you're learning shit that you're interested in,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you are doing a course at the moment,

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Speaker 1: which is structured, which is good. But when you're doing

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Speaker 1: a PhD within you know, a very structured organization, and

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Speaker 1: there are rules and there are protocols, there's accountability, and

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Speaker 1: you have to write a certain way and present you know,

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Speaker 1: like all of the things. There are milestones that I

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Speaker 1: need to achieve. And so there's very little flexibility within

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Speaker 1: that model of learning, very little flexibility. There's some, but

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Speaker 1: not a lot. And also you essentially have academic bosses

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Speaker 1: who go, no, don't do that, do this, which academic

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Speaker 1: supervisors and thank God for them, because in this environment,

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Speaker 1: with this task, you know, they're infinitely smarter than me,

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Speaker 1: and so I need them. But I think the beauty

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Speaker 1: of instinctive, intuitive, curiosity driven learning is that you can go,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I want to learn how to fucking

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Speaker 1: build a bamboo hut today, and you can know in

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Speaker 1: a day and you can start building tomorrow. Or you

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Speaker 1: can go, I want to understan what the like I

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Speaker 1: read this thing yesterday or I came across this thing

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Speaker 1: and that said, you know how, we talk about the

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Speaker 1: mind of consciousness and awareness and the conscious mind the

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Speaker 1: subconscious mind, and it suggested that maybe consciousness doesn't live

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Speaker 1: in the mind, but rather consciousness lives outside the mind,

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Speaker 1: and it's there for us to access whenever we want.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, fuck, I've got to open that door.

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Speaker 1: I don't have time this week. But I'm like, like, so,

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Speaker 1: it's not the consciousness. It's not that I'm becoming conscious,

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Speaker 1: It's that I have the ability. And this is in

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Speaker 1: the spiritual space to access consciousness, which is a kind

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Speaker 1: of intelligence and an awareness and a knowing and a

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Speaker 1: whatever wisdom that exists despite me and apart from me,

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Speaker 1: and maybe all of us humans have the ability to

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Speaker 1: tap into that if we are in the right place.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, so, for example, with that which I

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Speaker 1: got nothing to do with my PhD, I literally took

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Speaker 1: a screenshot of that and I went on the weekend,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go down this rabbit hole. I don't

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Speaker 1: have time today, and that's what I do. And I've

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Speaker 1: spent most of my life learning intuitively and instinctively, driven

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Speaker 1: by curiosity, not I need to have a bit of paper,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I think I think on a practical level,

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Speaker 1: for what you want to do, be, create, achieve tif

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Like, if you wanted to do it,

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Speaker 1: I think that would be great. But I don't think

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Speaker 1: you need it. I don't think you I don't think

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Speaker 1: I don't especially now, I don't think most people. Of course,

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Speaker 1: there are some professions, of course, but I think for

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Speaker 1: a lot of professions and a lot of people, you

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Speaker 1: don't need a degree anymore. You know, you don't need it.

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Speaker 1: You know. If you're going to be a neurosurgeon, probably good,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, or you're going to be a

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Speaker 1: physicist or something, probably good. But you know, like I

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Speaker 1: think that, yeah, Jode, I feel like I've hijacked your show.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you has like what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Sorry, we want dealing go on. When you're dealing with people, though,

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Speaker 1: a lot of what you deal with it's not anything

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Speaker 1: you learned at UNI, right, it's all just intuitive, instinctive, experiential.

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Speaker 3: Oh so much. And it's so interesting.

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Speaker 2: Somebody wrote on my LinkedIn the other day when I

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Speaker 2: connected with and They're like, oh, You've got an interesting

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Speaker 2: mix of kind of skills and experience you bring to

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Speaker 2: your role.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, yep, I do. Yeah, so true.

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Speaker 2: And I guess when I look at what I do

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Speaker 2: now versus kind of where I started, there's so much crossover.

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Speaker 2: Like there's a lot of crossover from the point of

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Speaker 2: view that I'm still and forever will be an educator

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Speaker 2: at heart, Like I love empowering people with knowledge but

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Speaker 2: also helping them to do something with it. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: in terms of kind of like content knowledge other than

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Speaker 2: learning about the nervous system. When I did my undergraduate degree,

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Speaker 2: my honors and my PhD were in a separate realm

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Speaker 2: of science to the area that I work in. But

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Speaker 2: it feels like this daisy chain of kind of learning

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Speaker 2: and experiences and skills that have all blended to bring

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Speaker 2: me kind of to where I am.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't love everything I did.

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Speaker 2: I like most people, and you know, certainly when I

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Speaker 2: was doing my PhD. I mean there were times I've

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Speaker 2: never been this sort of student. But there are times

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Speaker 2: when I'd literally fold my arms on my desk and

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Speaker 2: put my head down and have a little nap.

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Speaker 3: My head was just bursting with.

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Speaker 2: Journal articles and ideas and just overload and overwhelmed.

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Speaker 3: And but yeah, I think.

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Speaker 2: The skills that you learn and what you learn about

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Speaker 2: yourself and how that brings you closer to knowing what

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Speaker 2: your purpose is and what you know really lights you up,

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Speaker 2: and how you can help others.

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Speaker 3: Nothing. I don't believe anything's ever wasted.

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Speaker 1: Did either of you have a teacher at school that

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Speaker 1: you fucking loved? Jody? Who was yours? Tiff, you tell

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Speaker 1: me in a minute, Jodi who was yours?

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Speaker 2: And why I loved mister Dixon, not from any other

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Speaker 2: for any other reason, from academic standing. So Paul Dixon

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Speaker 2: was our chemistry teacher in year twelve, and I did science.

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Speaker 2: I did physics and kim and pe and English and maths.

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Speaker 2: And by contrast, my physics teacher was really really smart,

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Speaker 2: you know, classic case of totally book smart. Couldn't really

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Speaker 2: convey what he wanted to convey through his classes, but

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Speaker 2: mister Dixon just made it so interesting and we just

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Speaker 2: felt so supported comfortable asking questions. When I was at

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Speaker 2: UNI doing chemistry, Peter and my husband and his mates

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Speaker 2: at the back and they called me question girl.

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Speaker 3: That was my nickname.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, he was just so inspiring and just I

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Speaker 2: understood it because of the way he taught. He was young,

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Speaker 2: he was new to teaching. He was really passionate, and

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Speaker 2: it inspired me to go off and major in it

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Speaker 2: with my university studies.

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Speaker 3: So, yeah, he was awesome.

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Speaker 2: I got to see him when I was down presenting

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Speaker 2: at a school in Tasmania. He came along to listen,

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Speaker 2: so it was nice to reconnect.

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Speaker 1: Isn't it interesting? So he was inspirational, you liked him.

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Speaker 1: There was a connection. Like all of the things that

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Speaker 1: made him or most of the things that made him

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Speaker 1: a great teacher, had nothing to do with which course

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Speaker 1: he did, which university went to, what Mark's he got.

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Speaker 1: It was all about him as a human, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's it. That's what people.

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Speaker 4: Tiff my homeroom teacher from year seventy, year ten, missus McCullough.

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Speaker 4: And she's still on my Facebook and comments every now

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Speaker 4: and then.

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Speaker 3: And I love that. I mayne when you realize, when you're.

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Speaker 4: Grown up, oh, those teachers they're human.

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Speaker 3: People.

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Speaker 4: They have feelings and lives and they're the same as

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Speaker 4: every one else.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it's such a revelation.

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Speaker 1: I used to I had this teacher in year eight

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Speaker 1: called mister Ryan, and I've spoken about him a few times. Fuck,

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Speaker 1: I love this man. And you know, we all our

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Speaker 1: teachers were like, you know, they were fine. But it

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Speaker 1: was a pretty strict school. It was an all boys school.

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Speaker 1: We had to wear full on uniforms, blazer's jacket shirts, ties,

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Speaker 1: we had uniform inspections, we had you had to have

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Speaker 1: polished shoes. It was a little bit not totally, but

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Speaker 1: a tiny bit military compared to what we have now.

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Speaker 1: It was like very military. But so mister Ryan was

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Speaker 1: a police officer and he got shot in a leg.

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Speaker 1: And because year eight boys are not that compassionate, we

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Speaker 1: used to call him the dark because he walked like

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Speaker 1: a duck, right, because he'd been shot like so much compassion.

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Speaker 1: But he was such a good human being. And if

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Speaker 1: I was mucking around, which was you know, every day,

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Speaker 1: and he'd walk up and he'd just look in my

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Speaker 1: face and you go, harper. I go, yes, sir, he

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Speaker 1: don't be a dickhead. I go, yes, sir.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: But I loved it that he said to me, don't

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Speaker 1: be a dickhead, like because I was being a dickhead.

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Speaker 1: He knew how to connect to me and he's like,

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Speaker 1: you're being a dickhead, aren't you. I go I am.

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Speaker 1: He goes, don't be a dickhead. I'm like, yes, sir.

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Speaker 2: That was it.

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Speaker 1: And he would just you know, he'd lean in and

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Speaker 1: he'd say things, but he actually really cared about It's

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Speaker 1: all boys, right, He really cared about all of us.

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Speaker 1: And he was probably the least experienced teacher. I think

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Speaker 1: he was like one. So he got injured, then he

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Speaker 1: retrained as a teacher and he was probably first or

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Speaker 1: second year. But he was a man's man, right, So

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Speaker 1: there was no bookshit, there was no fluffy anything. But

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Speaker 1: I look back at him and I think, why did

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Speaker 1: he have an impact on me? And it was more

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Speaker 1: about just how he treated me as a human it

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Speaker 1: wasn't like, oh, he was just the most brilliant academic,

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Speaker 1: or he was this or that. You know. And one

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Speaker 1: of the funny things is or one of the things

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Speaker 1: that maybe people don't think about like companies now when

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Speaker 1: they're because I talk to lots of bosses, lots of

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Speaker 1: leaders managers in the corporate space, and I ask them, what, like,

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Speaker 1: when you're bringing people on board, what do you want?

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Speaker 1: And of course they want skills and squat quals and experience,

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Speaker 1: but more and more they want social intelligence. They want

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Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, and they want a thing called a which

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Speaker 1: some people call a Q, which is adaptability quotient, so

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Speaker 1: your ability to adapt right, So social intelligence, emotional intelligence,

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Speaker 1: and an ability to be able to be fluid and

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Speaker 1: adaptable in a business or an organization or a team

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Speaker 1: that's dynamic, which is all businesses and organizations. And you know,

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Speaker 1: if you come in and you can only do things

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Speaker 1: one way, you're in trouble, you know. So it's you know,

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Speaker 1: intelligence is fluid, performance is fluid. You know, it's situation

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Speaker 1: and context dependent. I think doc oh totally.

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Speaker 2: And you know, when it comes to anxiety and talking

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Speaker 2: to parents about anxious kids and when parents and kids

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Speaker 2: show up to a therapy session and the parents feel like, well,

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Speaker 2: you know, I really want I would really love the

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Speaker 2: outcome of this to be that my child will do

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Speaker 2: a B or C. And the child is not interested

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Speaker 2: in a B or C. Then there's no willingness. There's

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Speaker 2: no willingness. There, there's no buying, there's no skin in

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Speaker 2: the game, there's no interest.

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Speaker 3: So they might be well and truly able to do D, E,

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Speaker 3: and F.

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Speaker 2: And so I think, you know, it's ultimately when we

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Speaker 2: passionate about something and you know, like you can learn

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Speaker 2: the knowledge, and like you said beforehaps so readily available

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Speaker 2: for us. You can learn anything that you would learn

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Speaker 2: in a degree online, you know, with access to information

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Speaker 2: the way we have it. But you know, when it

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Speaker 2: comes to a job, having those things that you said before,

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Speaker 2: I know employees people, and I have friends that employ people,

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Speaker 2: and you just know that the things they're looking for

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Speaker 2: is how is this person going to fit in the workplace?

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Speaker 2: You know, do they have whatever they need to kind

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Speaker 2: of tick the boxes, but anything else they haven't quite gotten.

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Speaker 2: The skills department they can learn, but you can't teach

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Speaker 2: somebody to be socially and emotionally intelligent quickly, and that's

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Speaker 2: not really the job of a workplace. So yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think I think it's I don't think we should really

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Speaker 2: be you know, I don't say to my kids you're.

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Speaker 3: Smart or you're not, or you know.

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Speaker 2: I love to talk to people about their capacity for learning,

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Speaker 2: and that's really we've all got that, And I think

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Speaker 2: it's a real closed door if somebody and when somebody

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Speaker 2: does believe.

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Speaker 3: They're smart or not.

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Speaker 2: We know this in kids, when they get an idea

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Speaker 2: in their mind that oh, I'm not good at maths,

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Speaker 2: I'm not smart at mass then that becomes a self

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Speaker 2: fulfilling prophecy for them with their academics. And so that's

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Speaker 2: that coming around to that growth mindset that I have

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Speaker 2: the capacity to learn when I apply myself, but we

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Speaker 2: don't want to apply ourself to stuff we're not interested in.

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Speaker 3: I think that's got to really play into it.

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Speaker 1: When parents come along to you with their anxious kids

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Speaker 1: and they have certain expectations of how they want the

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Speaker 1: kids to be and what they want the kids to

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Speaker 1: be interested in and doing, do you ever think, uh,

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Speaker 1: actually don't think they're that's the right way to think about, Like,

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Speaker 1: do you sometimes have to work first on the parent

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Speaker 1: and then the kid.

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Speaker 2: I think that when it comes to anxious kids, it's

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Speaker 2: the very best place to start because often anxious kids

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Speaker 2: are in families with anxious parents. And what we need

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Speaker 2: is first of all, parents who can look after themselves

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Speaker 2: and settle their own stress and anxiety, because when you've

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Speaker 2: got a child that's struggling, it's very, very stressful, and

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Speaker 2: then it's easy to get kind of the blinkers on

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Speaker 2: and become have a very narrow view about what success

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Speaker 2: could look like. So yeah, working with parents like this,

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Speaker 2: so much actual research and science to show that there

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Speaker 2: are a lot of things parents can do about the

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Speaker 2: way that they approach situations and support what they say,

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Speaker 2: what they do and don't do, what they allow and

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Speaker 2: don't allow that can be transformative for children's anxiety when

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Speaker 2: the child is not even involved in any of the change,

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Speaker 2: not directly anyway.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that I was I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's fortunate enough is the right term, but to observe,

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Speaker 1: you know, owning gyms for a long time is we

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Speaker 1: would have you know, parents come in and train with

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Speaker 1: me and my team, right, and we had I mean

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Speaker 1: thousands of clients over the years, thousands and hundreds of trainers,

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Speaker 1: so there's a lot of people through the doors over

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Speaker 1: a long period of time. And what we would see

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Speaker 1: is generational training. So we'd often see grandma and the

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Speaker 1: daughter and the granddaughter in the same joint.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes training, you know, awesome, But what I saw many

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Speaker 1: times was mum or dad who would have certain psychological

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Speaker 1: or emotional issues, right, and then on meet the kid

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Speaker 1: and I'd go, oh, I know why you are the

434
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 1: way you are because mom or dad. It's like, I think, ironically,

435
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: sometimes the source of anxiety for the kid is the

436
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 1: fucking parent.

437
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,400
Speaker 3: Look, it's so contagious.

438
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 2: It is like we it's palpable sometimes and even like

439
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 2: my daughter's home this afternoon, she's not feeling well. But

440
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 2: the other day I came in and I jam packed

441
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 2: too much in the day, and I had twenty minutes

442
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: at home before I was going out for dinner with friends,

443
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 2: and I had a lot to try to accomplish in

444
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: that time, and.

445
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 3: I asked her to help, and.

446
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 2: She just said, hey, Mum, you making me stressed because

447
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 2: you're so stressed. And it was so good that she

448
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 2: was able to say that and I was like, I know, actually, yes,

449
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 2: let me just stop for a minute.

450
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 3: And you know, I just owned it.

451
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 2: I was like, absolutely, but this is how I'm feeling,

452
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 2: this is why, this is what will help.

453
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 3: But she just picked it up and called it.

454
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 2: And I don't think often when we're feeling that way,

455
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: we're so inwardly focused about what our needs are and

456
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: what we're trying to do or what we haven't got done,

457
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 2: that we forget how impactful our nervous system state is

458
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 2: on those people in our home roops. You know, I

459
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,120
Speaker 2: grew up in a home with a mom with an

460
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 2: undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and I walked on eggshells. I was

461
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 2: anxious about, you know, doing the wrong thing. And so

462
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 2: even though I had the genetic predisposition for it, and

463
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 2: there were other triggers in my life that kind of

464
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 2: set me down the road to my own anxiety disorder.

465
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 2: That that, you know, that was that was tough. But

466
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: the parents aren't causing the anxiety disorders in their children.

467
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 2: But we've got a really powerful role that we can

468
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 2: play by taking really good care of ourselves and helping

469
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 2: our children learn to regulate. That's how kids learn to

470
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 2: regulate themselves is through a regulated parent. Unfortunately, there's a

471
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: lot of stress people at the moment for lots of

472
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: different reasons. So it's not it's not easy, but it's

473
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 2: important to know that we can make a powerful difference

474
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 2: if we if we if we can regularly kind of

475
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,959
Speaker 2: settle our nervous system and you know, show up in

476
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 2: our homes a little bit less fired up than we

477
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 2: might usually do.

478
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: Without mentioning what they may or may not be, if

479
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 1: there are any are there certain things that are more

480
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: likely to trigger you, like you know, specific events happening,

481
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: things that like when that happens you you can momentarily

482
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:26,440
Speaker 1: lose your shit.

483
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. And I'm so happy to say, like one

484
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 3: of the things.

485
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 2: Like from little things like metal on metal, well really

486
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 2: activate my nervous system. And so if there happens to

487
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 2: be a fork stuck in a knife, you know that,

488
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 2: or somebody is cutting on something metal, that will really

489
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 2: grape me.

490
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 3: But that's just very temporary.

491
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 2: If I ever feel like it's so interesting because you know,

492
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 2: the brain, the part of the brain that detects threat

493
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 2: is hyper sensitive in people with an anxiety disorder. And

494
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 2: so if I find myself in a space where I

495
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 2: not from a conscious point of view, but I could

496
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 2: be almost trapped. For example, like you won't find me going.

497
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 3: I don't know.

498
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 2: Just sometimes if I'm in a particular room I don't know,

499
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: like and there's a lot of people in there, I

500
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: don't know, it will just be triggering for me because

501
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: my brain is probably thinking, well, how do you get out,

502
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 2: like if something goes wrong. It's just always trying to

503
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 2: protect me and other things that cause me a lot

504
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 2: of anxieties.

505
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 3: Just when.

506
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 2: I am finding that I've got too many competing priorities

507
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 2: and I'm so much better at managing it now, and

508
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: I'm just like, right, what is most important? I know

509
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 2: how to recognize it. I'll ground myself if I don't

510
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 2: alcohol anymore because that would cause anxiety. And if I

511
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 2: do not sleep well, I need I need to really

512
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 2: prioritize my sleep. Then that that can make me so

513
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: much more sensitive. Some might say grumpy and irritable as well.

514
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: Oh that's funny, that's funny. I was just trying to

515
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: find something which I'm not doing a very good job

516
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: of about. Do you remember that story, Jody You're talking about,

517
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: you know the part of the brain. You're talking about

518
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: the amigdala, right, yep. That the there's an article called

519
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: The Woman Who Forgot to be Afraid and anyway she

520
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: had basically she never got scared, like ever of anything. Yeah,

521
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: like she she she literally had no fear response because

522
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:56,959
Speaker 1: for one of a more uh clinically correct term, her

523
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: amigdala was broken, you know, epicenter of the brain. And yes,

524
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: so she used to be in all kinds of precarious situations.

525
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,719
Speaker 1: And there was a story about how she was a nurse, right, yeah,

526
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: and the quickest route between where she worked and her

527
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: house was a cemetery, so she would walk in the

528
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: middle of the night through this cemetery. And one guy

529
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: one night, this guy confronted her to attack her, assault her, whatever,

530
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: and she just laughed at him and told him to

531
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: stop being an idiot. And she had no like, you know,

532
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: she knew what. I don't know if she knew what

533
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: was going on, but she had and she was so

534
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: not scared that it freaked him out and he ran away.

535
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. But I think we

536
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: need I think we need a few response to keep

537
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: us functional and safe for the most week we do.

538
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 3: We so do.

539
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 2: And one of the things Craig that worries me about

540
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 2: us as we and I, you know, I'm obviously in

541
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 2: this boat, is we feel anxiety about things that aren't

542
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 2: life threatening, aren't actually going to endanger us, which is

543
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 2: dare I say, pretty much all of the time, the

544
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 2: anxiety that we're feeling is related to something that is

545
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 2: not going to, you know, cause our demise, and we

546
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 2: I say, we generalizing, But a lot of people will

547
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: step back. It's like I don't like the feeling. It's

548
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: I can't stand feeling like this, so I'll step back,

549
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 2: and there's that avoidance. I'll say no to the invitation,

550
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: I'll say no to the opportunity. I won't do the

551
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 2: thing that I'm being asked to do if there's a choice.

552
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 2: But for a lot of women, when we do have

553
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 2: that part of our brain recognize that there's a threat,

554
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 2: and there is a genuine threat, we often override that

555
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 2: gut feeling that response that this is dangerous and we

556
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: tell ourselves, oh, most people are okay, I'm sure I'm

557
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 2: just overreacting. And that can be problematic obviously in terms

558
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 2: of our safety. And so I think it's really interesting

559
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: to know that this part of the brain that keeps

560
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 2: us safe plays a very important role, and we do

561
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 2: need to be listening, but we just need to be

562
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: able to tell the difference and also know if we

563
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 2: do feel like we are vulnerable or we just get

564
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 2: that off feeling.

565
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 3: We've got to listen because there's a lot of.

566
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: Times and yeah, you know, women will hear something, see something,

567
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 2: notice something, just have that feeling that something's off or.

568
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 3: Just brush it off. And sometimes you brush it off

569
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 3: and you'll be okay. Other times you might and you

570
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 3: won't be.

571
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: So it pays just to start to listen a little

572
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 2: bit closely, I think, a little bit more closely.

573
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an interesting I mean, I'm not a woman.

574
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 1: Probably none of you pick that, but just clarifying for

575
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 1: anyone who's wondering. But I have an interesting thing the

576
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: other night which I haven't told anybody about, and it was

577
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: probably nothing, but I put up I don't know if

578
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 1: you saw. I put up the thing about going to

579
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: Catman Do the other night to buy a bloody flannel shirt. Anyway,

580
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: and I was so I was in this part of

581
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: Southland which is kind of out of the way a

582
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: little bit, and it was lateish, it was like thirty,

583
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: and I went, I needed we you welcome everyone. I

584
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: needed a week, or as I call it, a slash.

585
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 1: I needed a slash. And so I went down this weird,

586
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: little quiet section and there were toilets there, and as

587
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: I went to I was walking down a little corridor

588
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: towards the toilet and these two dodgy looking blokes were

589
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: walking out and they saw me and they turned around

590
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: and walked back in, and I went, ah. And I

591
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,959
Speaker 1: was wearing my headphones, which are expensive headphones, and I

592
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: was carrying some shit I bought, and I had my

593
00:33:55,920 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: iPhone and I just went, nah, are we somewhere else?

594
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: I just did it one eighty because I'm like, it

595
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,479
Speaker 1: is weird that they're coming out and then they see

596
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: me and they turn back and walk back in.

597
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

598
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 1: And I thought, on the off chance that they think

599
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: he's an old guy, that we might roll for all

600
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 1: of shit. So you know, maybe nothing, maybe something, but

601
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: better off safe.

602
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 3: Than sorry totally.

603
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: And you know, so it is I think there is

604
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 1: that Yeah, I don't know. I think there's that intuitive

605
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 1: instinctive men and women, and you know, yeah, I think

606
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: we need to pay attention. Having said that that very

607
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: world famous philosopher Tom Cruise. He said the other night

608
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: in an interview which I really liked. He said, don't

609
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 1: be afraid to be afraid. I like that. I like

610
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 1: where I like sometimes I mean, obviously there's fear that's

611
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: giving us a message, hey, stay the fuck away, and

612
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: then there's some fear which is like, look, I'm uncomfortable.

613
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: This is a bit scary, but I probably need to

614
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: open this door because this is how I grow, learn, evolve,

615
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: adapt Yeah, And being being fearful is not weak or bad.

616
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: It's kind of human. Yeah, and sometimes some not all

617
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,399
Speaker 1: the times, because that's the that's where the wisdom bit

618
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 1: comes in. But I mean, I honestly have learnt the

619
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: most when I've been scared, like doing shit that scares

620
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: me I'm uncomfortable in. So I think it's just differentiating

621
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 1: between you know, what door to open and what door

622
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 1: to leaves shut, and when to turn around and say

623
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to wear you somewhere.

624
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 3: Else totally totally, And I know, like I know, like.

625
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 2: There's some things like I think about like the trapeze,

626
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 2: Like I've always wanted to do a lesson on the trapeze,

627
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 2: just not to be a circus performer, just to try

628
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 2: it and just experience that what it's like. And had

629
00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 2: a voutch you a long time ago, and I let

630
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 2: it lapse because I was too anxious to try it,

631
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 2: and like, that's not everyone's cup of tea. But sometimes

632
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,240
Speaker 2: taking that first step, it's got to be small enough.

633
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 3: That you can move forward.

634
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 2: It doesn't like we've all got things that we would

635
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: like to try. I just think that you've got to

636
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: break it down, Like if the first step is feeling

637
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 2: too overwhelming, they just try to find a way to

638
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 2: make that.

639
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,720
Speaker 3: First step a little bit easier. Because I just feel really.

640
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 2: Passionate about us all getting to the end of our

641
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 2: days and taking that final breath and sort of feeling like,

642
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't let that anxiety stop me from

643
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 2: doing the things that you know, I really would have

644
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:43,919
Speaker 2: liked to have tried. Yeah, So I keep thinking about

645
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 2: the trapeze and one day I'll jump on here and

646
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 2: I'll say I did it.

647
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't feel as anxious about it now.

648
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: I just need to organize it.

649
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: But I reckon you should. I reckon you should book it,

650
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 1: and Tiff and I'll come along and cheer you on.

651
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that would be so fun. That would

652
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 3: be so fun. Would you do it?

653
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 1: About one hundred amazing? You book it. I can't speak

654
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: for tip, but I'll come and cheer you on.

655
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,399
Speaker 3: What do you reckon to hear?

656
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 4: I'm there?

657
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it.

658
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: Okay, hey not, let's do it. You do it. I

659
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: didn't say I'm going to get on the fucking trapeze.

660
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: I said I'm going to check you one.

661
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 3: Oh that's what I said. Okay, I thought that's what

662
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 3: you meant.

663
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, let's tell you what if you get

664
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: on the trapeze. I'm not worried about getting on the

665
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: trapeze in terms of falling and killing myself. I'm worried

666
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: about my sixty one year old shoulders. That's what I'm

667
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: worried about. But if you do it, if you do it,

668
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: I'll do it.

669
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 2: I don't want to be responsible for anything happening to

670
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 2: your shoulders, so I'm happy if you just cheer me.

671
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:44,959
Speaker 3: You can decide later.

672
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,320
Speaker 1: Well, the bloker's got a torn left rotator cuff. Probably

673
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: shouldn't take up circus hearts.

674
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 3: Probably not. That ship has sailed.

675
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: Probably, How do you know, Okay, this is forther of you.

676
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: We're talking about fear, and we're talking about which daughter

677
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,919
Speaker 1: open and which door to leave shut. And we're talking

678
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: about some fear as a you know, some fear is

679
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: a very valuable kind of warning system, right, and then

680
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: other fear is almost like a psychological prison. How do

681
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 1: you anxiety coin? How do we differentiate? I mean, I

682
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: know there's no three step answer to that, but what

683
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: are your thoughts, like, what is the fear? How do

684
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: I know what fear I should lean into and what

685
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: fear I should take as some kind of insight that's

686
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: giving me a warning.

687
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:42,280
Speaker 2: It's so hard because when we are activated in the moment,

688
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 2: it's near.

689
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,800
Speaker 3: Impossible to think clearly.

690
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 2: Of course, because as we've said before, the part of

691
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 2: the brain that enables us to make good decisions is

692
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 2: unavailable temporarily. And so part of it is about like

693
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,959
Speaker 2: a lot of us do a lot of the same

694
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,919
Speaker 2: things each day. So part of it is like well,

695
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 2: knowing your circumstances and giving things a little forethought, like

696
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 2: maybe don't walk through a dark cemetery, assuming that you

697
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: have a MiG delivered a functioning and you know instinctively

698
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: you know, we instinctively we fight or flee, so our

699
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 2: instinctive response is to not go forward. Okay, so let's

700
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 2: just start with that. And so if we are in danger,

701
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 2: we hope that that kicks in and most of us

702
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 2: are going to want to run like the wind rather

703
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 2: than stay and fight. So I think then when we

704
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 2: look at well, what are the things that anxiety will say,

705
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 2: don't do it?

706
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 3: Don't go to.

707
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 2: That party, don't accept that invitation, you know, don't change

708
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 2: jobs even though you hate the one you're in, because

709
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: oh you'll have to start, you know, all of the

710
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 2: things that anxiety will say not to do. Don't book

711
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 2: that holiday because you've never been there before.

712
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,439
Speaker 3: Whatever. It is the start to sort of look for.

713
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 2: Those patterns of what where do you avoid things in life?

714
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 3: And that way you kind.

715
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 2: Of like sort of you can see and you know

716
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 2: yourself well enough in the moment.

717
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 3: What helps is if you.

718
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,720
Speaker 2: Have practiced mindfulness, if you're a meditator or you practice

719
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: mindfulness regularly, that can reduce the sensitivity of that alarm system.

720
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 2: It reduces the size of the amygdala, and it can

721
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,720
Speaker 2: buy you a little bit a little bit of space

722
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 2: and a little bit of time. To be able to

723
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 2: make a decision, especially if you can see the anxiety building,

724
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 2: you can feel it building, and you know what the

725
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 2: signs are that this is coming for you. So I'll

726
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 2: recognize my breathing changes. Other people will go I feel sick.

727
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 2: Other people will like I start trembling. So if you

728
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 2: can see it coming, that's really powerful too, because you're like, Okay,

729
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 2: I know what's happening.

730
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 3: What do I do next?

731
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,280
Speaker 1: I have this little I didn't invent this, I'm sure,

732
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: but if I'm scared about something, apprehensive, nervous, anxious, something

733
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: I want to do, I think, what's the worst that

734
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: can happen?

735
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 3: Yeah?

736
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: What I do? I go, what's the worst that can happen?

737
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: And then I put myself in that?

738
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 3: Yeah?

739
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: And I go, can I cope with that? I go, yeah,

740
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: I won't like it, but it's not going to kill me.

741
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 1: And I might be embarrassed or humiliated or fucking terrified

742
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: or but I think, yeah, I do that, and so

743
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: I feel like, well, it's probably not going to be that,

744
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 1: but the worst outcome could be I forget what I'm saying,

745
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,720
Speaker 1: people laugh at me, and I get booed off stage.

746
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want that, But I mean, in

747
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: some alternate, fucking horrible reality, could that. Yet it could?

748
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: And you go, is that would be horrible? But will

749
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 1: it kill me?

750
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 4: No?

751
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 1: So I kind of go, you know, And that's the

752
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: I think you've got to weigh it up as you

753
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 1: go too, because also, I mean, as you said, you

754
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 1: don't want to get to the end of the journey

755
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: and go fuck. I wish I had have done this.

756
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: I wish I had had taken more chances. I wish

757
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 1: I didn't let fear run my life, you know. I

758
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 1: wish I wasn't a prisoner of my own fucking self

759
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: defeating thoughts by limiting thinking like, you know, because hey,

760
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 1: we're all scared, fucking apart from the lady in the cemetery,

761
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 1: you know, everyone has everyone has fear, everyone has anxiety,

762
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:36,839
Speaker 1: everyone has self doubt, everyone overthinks, you know. I mean,

763
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: these are just human commonalities. This is not weakness, This

764
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 1: is not you being bad or flawed. I think it's

765
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: just how we navigate life with all of those things.

766
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,760
Speaker 1: And this is not the right term, but the amount

767
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: of power or influence we let those things have over us.

768
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's so wise.

769
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 2: Perhaps it really is, and it can have enormous power

770
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 2: over us. It can make life so small. And you know,

771
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: you hear of people who haven't left their homes for

772
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: years and that didn't happen overnight. That started with saying

773
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: no to something and not not not doing one particular,

774
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 2: you know, saying, you know, going to a party, or

775
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 2: you know, if people are socially anxious, which is obviously

776
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 2: a huge fear of embarrassing yourself and saying the wrong thing.

777
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 2: And I mean, I must admit I'm thinking back to

778
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 2: the start of the episode where I stuffed up my grammar.

779
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, but you know what, I'll live with

780
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 2: that it doesn't matter and we but it feels like

781
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 2: it just feels like for some people that it is

782
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 2: like literally it is so going to be so too way,

783
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 2: too painful to cope, and that then they say, you know,

784
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 2: no to more things, and ultimately they're not even checking

785
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 2: the letterbox. And it just pains me to think about

786
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 2: how small people's life sket But I did interview a

787
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 2: psychologist who asked a patient of his.

788
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 3: He had a five.

789
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 2: Kilometer radius that he wouldn't travel past, and the psychologist

790
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 2: said to him, if your daughter her car broke down

791
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 2: and she was stuck in the dark and needed help,

792
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 2: and she was, you know, five point five kilometers from

793
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 2: your home, because I mean, how arbitrary is five kilometers.

794
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,880
Speaker 2: You know, what would you do? He said, I'd go

795
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 2: straight to her. And that speaks to how important something

796
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 2: is for us. You know, if it's important enough, then

797
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: we get this willingness and this.

798
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 3: I think this in ourselves. We've got enough willingness to.

799
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 2: Be able to cope with the discomfort and the distress

800
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 2: that might come with what it's going to take to

801
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 2: get to where we need to go. But the hardest

802
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 2: thing is the first time. Each time it just gets easier.

803
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 2: And you know, if you start small and you do

804
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 2: it regularly enough and you're willing to put yourself out

805
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: there and experience that discomfort which, like you say, it

806
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 2: won't kill you, and have a curiosity about how you

807
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 2: feel and why you feel the way you feel, and

808
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 2: then retreat and then go out and just you know,

809
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 2: a classic kind of just keep making it a little

810
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 2: bit harder for yourself. It's so simple, not always easy,

811
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 2: but it works.

812
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's how much I mean, this is

813
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: an oversimplification but how much do you want that thing

814
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: or how important is that thing? You know, because if

815
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 1: something is important enough, I mean like fucking life alteringly important,

816
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 1: or you know, like your kid or whatever, pretty much

817
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 1: do anything even if that thing terrifies you. You know this.

818
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 1: I apologize to my listeners who have heard this five times,

819
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: but I don't think you've heard it. Jodie. So one

820
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 1: of the I'm one of my camps, there was a

821
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 1: lady there if you've probably heard this nine times, sorry,

822
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: and we're talking. So we have one hundred and thirty

823
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: people at my camps, that's all we fit and we

824
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 1: spend two days together. Well this is when we do

825
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 1: a camp in a Mantaaliza and we're just I'd finish

826
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: speaking and then it was just Q and AM. People

827
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: were talking about stuff, and this lady was saying, I

828
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: get it all, and I, you know, like I've done this,

829
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: I've done that, and like my weakness though, is chocolate,

830
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: and she goes, I can do I can go for

831
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 1: the run, I can do this. I can By the way,

832
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: I'm not suggesting people should never eat chocolate, but she

833
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: bought it up and she eats chocolate every day of

834
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 1: her life. And probably too much. Yeah, And she goes,

835
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't give up chocolate. She goes, I've

836
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: tried and tried. I just literally can't give it up.

837
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 1: And I said, well, you can, but you won't. And

838
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 1: she's like, no, I just can't. She goes, you don't understand,

839
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 1: and I go, no, you don't understand. I go, you

840
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 1: absolutely can, but you won't. And I said, can I

841
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: prove it to you? And she said yes, and she

842
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 1: I knew she had a dog because she'd spoken about

843
00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 1: her dog. I said, what's your dog's name? And then

844
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: she told us the name of the dog, and I said,

845
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:26,480
Speaker 1: let's just go with Fido. I said, what about this?

846
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: And I said, oh, by the way, how much do

847
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: you love that dog? And she's like more than my kids?

848
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 3: Right, she loves I like this lady.

849
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, more than my kids. She's like, that dog is

850
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 1: like my life revolves around the dog. You know, I

851
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 1: love the dog. And I said what if The next time,

852
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: I said, I know this is silly, but this is

853
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: a psychological experiment, right, so obviously this is purely a hypothetical,

854
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to prove to you something. Let's say,

855
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 1: in an alternate reality. In this reality, your life is

856
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 1: identical to how it currently is. Nothing's different except the

857
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 1: next time you eat a bit of chocolate, your dog

858
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 1: is going to drop dead. Right the next time you

859
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 1: eat a bit of chocolate, dog drops dead and boom.

860
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: Now we're in that reality. I said, how much chocolate

861
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 1: will you eat today? And she goes, none? And I

862
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 1: go tomorrow, none, this month, none, as long as the

863
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: dog's alive. None. And I said, well, you told me

864
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 1: you can't. I said, but given the right circumstances or

865
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: enough psychological or emotional leverage, you just told me you

866
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 1: wouldn't eat any Oh, she goes, But that's different. I'm like, yes,

867
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: it is different. We're talking about a different situation. But

868
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:43,760
Speaker 1: the question was can you yes? And the answer is yes, yes,

869
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 1: I will you. So I think so often and that

870
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 1: obviously that example is not true for everything, but it's

871
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 1: true for many things, like if you really, really, really

872
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,879
Speaker 1: really fucking want something, find a way, you'll find a way.

873
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:09,359
Speaker 2: It's the urge. That urge feels so powerful. And I mean,

874
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 2: I've never smoked, but I mean I can't imagine what

875
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 2: it must be like to give up something as.

876
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 3: Addictive as cigarette smoking, you.

877
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 2: Know, but that urge, it's that terrible discomfort of really really,

878
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,800
Speaker 2: really really wanting something and knowing.

879
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 3: It I can just have it.

880
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 2: It's just literally right there for me and being again

881
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:35,240
Speaker 2: willing to go right what I want beyond this decision

882
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 2: in this moment is bigger and more powerful and it's

883
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 2: worth this pain in the short term. But you know,

884
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 2: as we know, and I think we've said before here

885
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 2: on the podcast, people can have a terminal diagnosis with

886
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:55,320
Speaker 2: their health lung cancer for example, and still not find

887
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 2: it within themselves to let go of the thing, the

888
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 2: very thing that's you know, telling them behavior. As we know,

889
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 2: it's not easy, but is it's doable. But like it's

890
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 2: it's what how how much do you want it?

891
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 3: I suppose at the end of the day.

892
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. And by the way, when I say this everybody

893
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: and Jody as well, I'm sure there's no judgment in that.

894
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:23,280
Speaker 1: There's just recognition. And I know, like I know someone

895
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 1: right now who shouldn't smoke. It's not my parents who

896
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:31,240
Speaker 1: shouldn't smoke, and they still smoke, and well they shouldn't

897
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: smoke in the sense that their body's already in trouble, right,

898
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 1: But Also, this is looking through the Craig, the very

899
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 1: judgmental Craig window. So when I go, okay, fuck, what

900
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,439
Speaker 1: you think, Craig, like, what does it do for them?

901
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 1: You know what? It just gives them joy, It gives

902
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: you enjoy it. By the way, I'm not recommending or endorsing.

903
00:50:56,000 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: I'm just going like, remember, seek first to understand when

904
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 1: I look at other people's behavior through my window, it

905
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: is very easy to be judgmental.

906
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know.

907
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 1: But when people come to me with a question, well

908
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:13,439
Speaker 1: then that's a different issue. Yeah, but you know, I think, yeah,

909
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: I'm with you. It's like it is quizical. But you know,

910
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 1: people would look at my behavior or TIFFs or your

911
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: behavior and go, these three are the biggest fucking weirdos

912
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 1: I've ever seen, do you know what I mean?

913
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know I'm.

914
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 1: Compared to the Ambridge bloke my age in Australia. I

915
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: fully acknowledge I'm a weirdo. Yeah, and I don't think

916
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,479
Speaker 1: I'm better than anyone. I'm not saying yeah that's because

917
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 1: I'm this, It's not. I'm I acknowledge I've got all

918
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:41,760
Speaker 1: the fucking issues.

919
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 2: I was having this chat with my dad you know,

920
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 2: how's this for. I guess dichotomy might be the right word.

921
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 2: Mum's just finishing her second Camino in Spain. Dad's been

922
00:51:56,640 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 2: in hospital for three weeks with a diabetic gal star diabetes,

923
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 2: unstable sugars and inactivity. Has just like he's just sending him,

924
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 2: you know, to being ultimately unable to walk. And I

925
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 2: and I just I just look, I just sort of

926
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,800
Speaker 2: stand back sometimes and I look at the two parents

927
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 2: of mine and Dad. Dad was going, you're so you

928
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 2: and your mother are just you're so weird, like you

929
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 2: just you just like you just love your exercise and

930
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 2: and and I, you know, because because I just really

931
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 2: want him to move more, for so many reasons, for

932
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:36,879
Speaker 2: all the reasons, and you know, gosh, you know how much,

933
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 2: how many conversations I've had over the years with him,

934
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 2: and and it's it's just, you know, it's it's what

935
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know what I'm trying to say,

936
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:52,720
Speaker 2: but what what we do because we we we found

937
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:56,520
Speaker 2: things that we love to do, and we do, you know,

938
00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 2: put ourselves. You know, we're willing to be uncomfortable and

939
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 2: and to sacrifice other things, I suppose for you know,

940
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 2: the time to spend exercising, and it's it's I think

941
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 2: it all seems out of reach sometimes, but it's it's

942
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 2: not as oud as reaches as people might think.

943
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 3: It's just about just getting started.

944
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,400
Speaker 1: But I think it just starts with booking the traps. Jody,

945
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 1: I don't want to call I don't want to call

946
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:30,719
Speaker 1: you on your own lesson. I don't mean to be rude,

947
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: but TIFF's got a two o'clock and we've and it's

948
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 1: three minutes too. Yes, we're going to We're going to

949
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 1: wind up. We love you, we love you chatting with us.

950
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 1: Can you tell people how they can connect with you?

951
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 1: Find your books, find your website, find your podcast, please

952
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:48,359
Speaker 1: and thank you.

953
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,800
Speaker 2: Oh Craig always enjoy you too, Tiff so awesome. Yes,

954
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 2: I have a calm your anxious brain minicurs on my website.

955
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 2: So if you want to scroll to the bottom of

956
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:02,280
Speaker 2: doctor Jodi Richardson dot com dot are you, you'll find

957
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 2: that you can enter your details there and you'll find

958
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,360
Speaker 2: me if you google me Jody with an eye.

959
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,800
Speaker 3: That's it. Well, hallowe Anxiety is a podcast.

960
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 1: Consider yourself, go googled. Well, say goodbye affair. But as

961
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,439
Speaker 1: always DOC appreciate you, love you, thanks for being part

962
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,840
Speaker 1: of the You Project family and thanks to you Curly Hatif.

963
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:22,240
Speaker 3: Thanks you Sam.

964
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:23,720
Speaker 2: Bye, everyone,