1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,001 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,801 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:25,641 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh and cry and talk about the topics 7 00:00:25,881 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: everyone else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,761 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. 9 00:00:31,081 --> 00:00:34,361 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to She Rises. A wonderful Wednesday. 10 00:00:34,361 --> 00:00:35,681 Speaker 1: I'm excited today's episode. 11 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,601 Speaker 2: Oh, we got a lot of juicy in this speech. 12 00:00:37,681 --> 00:00:39,520 Speaker 1: I think it's a bit jucy. It is a little bit. 13 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: It's about how Tiana is navigating single life. We're just 14 00:00:42,961 --> 00:00:46,521 Speaker 1: in such different situations. I'm in a very long term 15 00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: relationship and you're very single. But we talk about the 16 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,001 Speaker 1: pros and cons to both. Yes, because there is pros 17 00:00:53,001 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: and cons to both. And we also are even having 18 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:58,001 Speaker 1: a lot of conversations around triggers. Lately, when you're single 19 00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: and you're meeting someone new and you're chatting to them 20 00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:02,161 Speaker 1: and you get your egs or you're finding out something 21 00:01:02,161 --> 00:01:05,041 Speaker 1: about them, you're like, oh, that triggers me. It doesn't 22 00:01:05,081 --> 00:01:07,641 Speaker 1: drop in a relationship. Yeah, you can think the grass 23 00:01:07,681 --> 00:01:10,001 Speaker 1: is greener or be easier to be in a relationship, 24 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,001 Speaker 1: what easier to be single, But I think both bring 25 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: a lot forward and bring a lot up. And we're 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,441 Speaker 1: going to talk about it or say, but mainly the 27 00:01:17,481 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: single side. 28 00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:21,481 Speaker 2: And if you're a single right now, you probably know 29 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,161 Speaker 2: the feeling of like, I want attention, but also don't 30 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 2: touch me because I don't know about you. But that's 31 00:01:26,681 --> 00:01:28,561 Speaker 2: kind of the error that I'm in right now. Yeah, 32 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,041 Speaker 2: just in this season of like, of course, like as 33 00:01:31,081 --> 00:01:33,801 Speaker 2: you guys know, I love attention. I'm not shy of attention. 34 00:01:34,721 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 2: Love it, love the spotlight, love it. But also it's 35 00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 2: one of those things where I also just don't want 36 00:01:42,681 --> 00:01:45,641 Speaker 2: just anyone coming into my life. Like I feel now 37 00:01:45,721 --> 00:01:47,921 Speaker 2: more than ever, I'm more intentional than I ever have 38 00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:50,961 Speaker 2: been about who comes into my life now because as 39 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:53,281 Speaker 2: the pros and cons of a relationship, yes, it's beautiful 40 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,121 Speaker 2: to bring somebody into your life, but if you bring 41 00:01:55,121 --> 00:01:56,961 Speaker 2: the wrong person into your life, it can also be 42 00:01:57,001 --> 00:02:00,441 Speaker 2: detrimental and it takes away if you're not serious, of course, 43 00:02:00,761 --> 00:02:02,281 Speaker 2: it can take away from the things that are really 44 00:02:02,281 --> 00:02:03,841 Speaker 2: important to you in your life. And that's what I 45 00:02:03,881 --> 00:02:06,241 Speaker 2: really noticed is like, if this is you know, say, 46 00:02:06,281 --> 00:02:09,321 Speaker 2: in the past where I've really entertained somebody and you 47 00:02:09,361 --> 00:02:11,201 Speaker 2: know it hasn't been a serious thing, or maybe there's 48 00:02:11,201 --> 00:02:12,721 Speaker 2: no chance of it moving on in the future, and 49 00:02:12,761 --> 00:02:14,481 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is more like a temporary thing. 50 00:02:14,921 --> 00:02:16,601 Speaker 2: Takes away from the things that I actually want to 51 00:02:16,641 --> 00:02:17,121 Speaker 2: invest in. 52 00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:19,801 Speaker 1: It does. And something you said in the Bali episode, 53 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,201 Speaker 1: which if you haven't listened to that, go back and 54 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,481 Speaker 1: listen to that. But something that you quote unquote cleaned 55 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:27,001 Speaker 1: up and I love this term leaky energy. Yes, And 56 00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:28,961 Speaker 1: there was just people and things in your life that 57 00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:30,841 Speaker 1: you felt like you were leaking your energy too that 58 00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:34,361 Speaker 1: weren't that important or you didn't know why you entertained them, 59 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,481 Speaker 1: and You've got in BALI were like, actually that's not 60 00:02:36,561 --> 00:02:39,161 Speaker 1: serving me, that's not aligned. Why am I talking to 61 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: that person? Yeah? Cleaned all of that up. Yeah, in 62 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:45,481 Speaker 1: such a respectful, beautiful way to them and honor yourself. 63 00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:48,241 Speaker 1: And I was in such admiration. I was just like, Wow, 64 00:02:48,441 --> 00:02:52,161 Speaker 1: I've never seen someone actively clean up who's in their life. 65 00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:54,601 Speaker 1: You're so certain yes, I was like, wow, So what 66 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,161 Speaker 1: did you say to that person? Because from an anxious girl. 67 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,201 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I've really struggled to cut 68 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,881 Speaker 1: people out and to actually come forward and say, hey, 69 00:03:02,441 --> 00:03:04,681 Speaker 1: this isn't working for me, or yeah, you know it 70 00:03:04,721 --> 00:03:06,241 Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, in a bit of way. It's not 71 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,921 Speaker 1: how you worded it, but I was just like, Wow, 72 00:03:08,161 --> 00:03:10,241 Speaker 1: it was so inspiring for me, and I wanted to 73 00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 1: talk about that because I think there's a lot of 74 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,601 Speaker 1: people out there that really get scared to cut people 75 00:03:15,641 --> 00:03:18,761 Speaker 1: off or push them out of their lives, or really 76 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 1: come to terms that that person is not for them, 77 00:03:20,841 --> 00:03:23,201 Speaker 1: and they hang on for the wrong reasons for way 78 00:03:23,281 --> 00:03:25,881 Speaker 1: too long and wonder why they're miserable. So can you 79 00:03:25,921 --> 00:03:28,881 Speaker 1: talk about the process you went through, how you noticed 80 00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:30,361 Speaker 1: it was the king your energy, how it was affecting 81 00:03:30,401 --> 00:03:32,321 Speaker 1: your life, and what you did about it. Yeah, for sure. 82 00:03:32,441 --> 00:03:35,281 Speaker 2: So what you just mentioned is something that I've experienced 83 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,561 Speaker 2: as well, where you know, I've been the girl who 84 00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:41,081 Speaker 2: really struggled to communicate when something wasn't for me, or 85 00:03:41,161 --> 00:03:43,561 Speaker 2: I stayed in things way too long, or even if 86 00:03:43,601 --> 00:03:45,561 Speaker 2: I knew that something wasn't right or didn't fit right, 87 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,801 Speaker 2: I would keep them around anyway because I was so 88 00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:51,201 Speaker 2: anxious that for me abandonment was the scariest thing that 89 00:03:51,321 --> 00:03:53,601 Speaker 2: I never wanted to be that person or even to 90 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,281 Speaker 2: make somebody else feel less then, you know, even though 91 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:59,041 Speaker 2: that's never the intention, never want them to feel like, 92 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,161 Speaker 2: oh now I'm abandoning you, You're not good enough for me, 93 00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:03,401 Speaker 2: or yeah, and if you haven't listened, we did an 94 00:04:03,441 --> 00:04:06,121 Speaker 2: episode on like my celibacy journey, and that led me 95 00:04:06,161 --> 00:04:08,041 Speaker 2: into that journey of like why I decided to go 96 00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:11,641 Speaker 2: celibate for a while. And the interesting thing about doing 97 00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:14,681 Speaker 2: that journey it really allowed me to get really serious 98 00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,881 Speaker 2: about what it is that I want. But I really 99 00:04:16,921 --> 00:04:19,281 Speaker 2: noticed this last couple of years, I feel like I've 100 00:04:19,441 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 2: really come into myself as a woman. And so I 101 00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:23,841 Speaker 2: went on that path of like celibacy, and then I've 102 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,721 Speaker 2: like you know, went into a long term relationship, and 103 00:04:25,761 --> 00:04:27,241 Speaker 2: then after that I had a break and then I 104 00:04:27,281 --> 00:04:28,801 Speaker 2: was like, Okay, like I want to date again. I 105 00:04:28,841 --> 00:04:30,681 Speaker 2: just want to see, you know, how I feel like 106 00:04:30,761 --> 00:04:33,041 Speaker 2: or who I'm attracting all that sort of stuff. And 107 00:04:33,081 --> 00:04:35,241 Speaker 2: then what I've noticed is as I've come more into 108 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,281 Speaker 2: myself as a woman, I feel stronger, I feel more 109 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,121 Speaker 2: certain about myself. I noticed like a little bits of 110 00:04:40,161 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: like attention coming in from you know, ment on social 111 00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 2: media or for me because I was such a people 112 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,841 Speaker 2: pleaser before, I feel like I overspent a lot of 113 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,841 Speaker 2: time in relationships that now I know when it doesn't 114 00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:53,801 Speaker 2: feel right, Like I know when it's not one hundred 115 00:04:53,801 --> 00:04:55,401 Speaker 2: percent the thing that I want, And I think in 116 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,881 Speaker 2: the past this is full vulnerability. In the past, I've 117 00:04:58,921 --> 00:05:01,761 Speaker 2: always felt like I wasn't worthy of having one hundred 118 00:05:01,761 --> 00:05:03,921 Speaker 2: percent what I want in my head. I was like, 119 00:05:03,921 --> 00:05:06,321 Speaker 2: I wasn't worthy of that. So in the past, I've 120 00:05:06,401 --> 00:05:08,441 Speaker 2: dated men who I felt like, well like sixty percent 121 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,681 Speaker 2: of what I want us seventy percent of it. 122 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,321 Speaker 1: Took a lot of bosses. 123 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,721 Speaker 2: They're a great thing. Most there. 124 00:05:12,041 --> 00:05:13,961 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so close. So were too greedy. You never 125 00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:15,241 Speaker 1: gonna find perfect, that's. 126 00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:17,281 Speaker 2: Right, Like you're asking for too much all of the stories, 127 00:05:17,481 --> 00:05:19,721 Speaker 2: And I've really started to convince myself of that for 128 00:05:19,761 --> 00:05:23,161 Speaker 2: a while, But now I just I feel so disrupted 129 00:05:23,201 --> 00:05:25,601 Speaker 2: internally when it's not the person that I want. I'm like, 130 00:05:25,681 --> 00:05:27,241 Speaker 2: I know that I don't feel this way for you 131 00:05:27,401 --> 00:05:29,761 Speaker 2: or you know, this might be fun temporarily, but like, 132 00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:32,001 Speaker 2: do I genuinely want to invest in you long term? 133 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:34,361 Speaker 2: And if the answer is no, then that's how I know. 134 00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 2: Because One, I've been the person who has wasted somebody's 135 00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 2: time before and known that I wasn't fully there for 136 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 2: the right reasons. And I've also had a man do 137 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,681 Speaker 2: that to me as well. Both don't feel good and 138 00:05:44,681 --> 00:05:47,081 Speaker 2: both don't feel good. I never want to be that 139 00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:49,881 Speaker 2: person who does that again, because one, you create hurt 140 00:05:49,921 --> 00:05:52,721 Speaker 2: for other people, and you also it doesn't feel good 141 00:05:52,721 --> 00:05:56,041 Speaker 2: for yourself. And so now I feel just to use 142 00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:58,481 Speaker 2: the word cutthroat for argument's sake, that I'm like, if 143 00:05:58,481 --> 00:06:00,281 Speaker 2: I know this person isn't in my life, it comes 144 00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:03,721 Speaker 2: from place of respect. It's like I love the attention 145 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,641 Speaker 2: and like it would feel so nice to communicate and 146 00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:08,041 Speaker 2: connect and go on dates and sort of staff spoil. 147 00:06:08,761 --> 00:06:10,281 Speaker 2: But if I know that it's not going in the 148 00:06:10,281 --> 00:06:12,161 Speaker 2: direction that I think it will, that I want it 149 00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:14,761 Speaker 2: to go in with intention, I'm like, I'm not going 150 00:06:14,801 --> 00:06:16,481 Speaker 2: to waste my time and I'm not going to waste yours, 151 00:06:16,841 --> 00:06:19,121 Speaker 2: because who am I to keep you from finding the 152 00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 2: person that you're going to spend the rest of your 153 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 2: life with Because I'm bored. 154 00:06:22,681 --> 00:06:23,681 Speaker 1: I love it, do you know what I mean? 155 00:06:23,761 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the reality of it. A lot of people 156 00:06:25,721 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 2: use relationships because they're bored or because they feeling avoid 157 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:32,681 Speaker 2: They want somebody in their life to give them validation 158 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,241 Speaker 2: and have connection and have a reason to share something 159 00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:37,601 Speaker 2: with somebody. But if it doesn't come from the right place, 160 00:06:37,721 --> 00:06:40,081 Speaker 2: and that's what I've learned, when it doesn't come from 161 00:06:40,081 --> 00:06:42,561 Speaker 2: the right place, don't do it. And so I think 162 00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 2: that's where it kind of comes from. 163 00:06:44,121 --> 00:06:45,841 Speaker 1: The easier said than done. Though I was in such 164 00:06:45,921 --> 00:06:50,241 Speaker 1: admiration of doing this, and then situation came up recently 165 00:06:50,281 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: where you were challenged by this. 166 00:06:52,401 --> 00:06:54,681 Speaker 2: I'll give you an example of botes right. This man had 167 00:06:54,761 --> 00:06:56,881 Speaker 2: damned me and wanted to catch up and wanted to 168 00:06:57,241 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 2: assistant man very persistent, I will give it to. 169 00:06:59,841 --> 00:07:01,841 Speaker 1: Him, convinced he was going to marry her. 170 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,561 Speaker 2: He was obviously in sales and he was he was 171 00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,921 Speaker 2: selling me, was in sales, so he was very persistent 172 00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:10,721 Speaker 2: with me, really wanted to take me on a date 173 00:07:10,761 --> 00:07:13,001 Speaker 2: and all that sort of stuff. And obviously I had 174 00:07:13,081 --> 00:07:15,161 Speaker 2: spoken to this man probably once or twice in person, 175 00:07:15,361 --> 00:07:17,561 Speaker 2: and then that was it. I just realized that it 176 00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:20,241 Speaker 2: wasn't for me, and I knew that kind of from 177 00:07:20,281 --> 00:07:23,121 Speaker 2: the get go. But obviously I knew nothing about this man. 178 00:07:23,161 --> 00:07:25,961 Speaker 2: I wasn't emotionally attached to him. So for me, yes, 179 00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:28,321 Speaker 2: it was uncomfortable to be so honest and so direct, 180 00:07:28,441 --> 00:07:30,081 Speaker 2: But I still had to let him know a couple 181 00:07:30,121 --> 00:07:32,441 Speaker 2: of times because he was persistent that I wasn't interested 182 00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:34,721 Speaker 2: in anything romantic, and that's how I positioned it to him. 183 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,761 Speaker 2: I just said, hey, look, this feels really patonic for me. 184 00:07:37,121 --> 00:07:39,921 Speaker 2: Think you're great, but I don't want anything romantic. And 185 00:07:39,921 --> 00:07:42,401 Speaker 2: then that kind of fizzled out. And then something more 186 00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:46,321 Speaker 2: recently was that there was a man that I had 187 00:07:46,481 --> 00:07:50,601 Speaker 2: started talking to and connected with from Sydney, and we 188 00:07:50,881 --> 00:07:53,201 Speaker 2: had spent a little bit of time together and got 189 00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:56,681 Speaker 2: to know each other, and it was really interesting because 190 00:07:56,761 --> 00:07:59,441 Speaker 2: there were a few things that were like not fully aligned, 191 00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:01,161 Speaker 2: and like a few things that were kind of like 192 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:04,521 Speaker 2: roadblocks as to reason why it wouldn't logistically make sense 193 00:08:04,561 --> 00:08:08,401 Speaker 2: to actually even pursue anything. And so this was a 194 00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:10,521 Speaker 2: conversation that we had both had and both coming to 195 00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,201 Speaker 2: each other of being like, hey, this doesn't work. Hey, 196 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 2: this doesn't work logistically from my side, logistically from your side, 197 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:18,601 Speaker 2: this isn't fit, you know, And we were both super 198 00:08:18,601 --> 00:08:22,481 Speaker 2: conscious of that and having conversations around that, but doesn't 199 00:08:22,521 --> 00:08:23,601 Speaker 2: make it any easier. 200 00:08:23,681 --> 00:08:26,081 Speaker 1: Oh and you know she's both really liked each other 201 00:08:26,121 --> 00:08:27,441 Speaker 1: as people and enjoyed the company. 202 00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:29,321 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he's a great here picked a lot 203 00:08:29,321 --> 00:08:29,801 Speaker 2: of boxes. 204 00:08:29,881 --> 00:08:32,121 Speaker 1: Oh you guys were like, oh yeah, incredible human. 205 00:08:32,641 --> 00:08:36,681 Speaker 2: And you know he's obviously felt the same way. And 206 00:08:36,721 --> 00:08:38,881 Speaker 2: so for both of us, we would have conversations around 207 00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:41,281 Speaker 2: being like, well, we know that this has to happen, 208 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:44,161 Speaker 2: but this also really sucks, Like this doesn't feel very good, 209 00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:46,841 Speaker 2: you know, because it's not like anything was necessarily wrong. No, 210 00:08:47,321 --> 00:08:50,241 Speaker 2: from a logistical standpoint, it didn't make sense. And then 211 00:08:50,361 --> 00:08:54,121 Speaker 2: it kind of ended things totally, like finally because he 212 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,921 Speaker 2: is also persistent and yeah, just kind of having that 213 00:08:57,961 --> 00:09:01,081 Speaker 2: conversation around like, look like, if this is not going 214 00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:03,281 Speaker 2: to make sense the long term, I don't want to 215 00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:06,041 Speaker 2: invest into it now because I'm not looking for anything 216 00:09:06,081 --> 00:09:09,041 Speaker 2: that's just temporary or just right now. Like, if I'm 217 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:10,681 Speaker 2: going to invest in it's gonna be a long term thing. 218 00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:12,441 Speaker 2: That's just kind of where I'm at right now. 219 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:16,201 Speaker 1: But there was moments where it was tempting to Oh absolutely, 220 00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:18,601 Speaker 1: but it was just interesting to observe from the sidelines, 221 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,841 Speaker 1: because there's moments where it came in and I was like, oh, 222 00:09:20,881 --> 00:09:22,681 Speaker 1: but what about this, and you're like, yeah, I'm just 223 00:09:22,681 --> 00:09:24,801 Speaker 1: gonna have the conversation, and then you're quickly like no, 224 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,441 Speaker 1: I decided yeah, and I'm going to stick by that. 225 00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:28,841 Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, you're so strong. If I 226 00:09:28,881 --> 00:09:30,721 Speaker 1: was single, I think i'd be able to resist that. 227 00:09:30,921 --> 00:09:32,121 Speaker 1: You entertain it. 228 00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:34,321 Speaker 2: It is. It is hard, and it's funny because like, 229 00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:35,721 Speaker 2: I don't think there's ever going to be a moment 230 00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:37,841 Speaker 2: where your feelings are involved where you feel like, oh 231 00:09:37,841 --> 00:09:39,481 Speaker 2: my god, I'm just going to like cut this person 232 00:09:39,521 --> 00:09:41,721 Speaker 2: off when your feelings are involved, like you want to 233 00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:44,361 Speaker 2: explore all of the options. And as much as I 234 00:09:44,681 --> 00:09:46,881 Speaker 2: logically knew that it was the right decision, and I 235 00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:49,241 Speaker 2: still stand by that decision, it was hard to come to, 236 00:09:49,961 --> 00:09:51,801 Speaker 2: you know, because I did. I wanted to consider all 237 00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:54,601 Speaker 2: of the options. How can this work logistically? Is it 238 00:09:54,601 --> 00:09:57,321 Speaker 2: a possibility? Is this right for me? Like asking myself 239 00:09:57,361 --> 00:09:59,721 Speaker 2: all of those questions like is this something I genuinely 240 00:09:59,721 --> 00:10:03,001 Speaker 2: want to invest in? And sometimes those conversations with yourself 241 00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:05,361 Speaker 2: can be super confusing, you know. 242 00:10:05,361 --> 00:10:06,721 Speaker 1: And when your head and your heart a kind of 243 00:10:07,121 --> 00:10:07,561 Speaker 1: different thing. 244 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, especially because you're like, Wow, this feels so good. 245 00:10:09,721 --> 00:10:11,681 Speaker 2: Why would I not want to entertain this? Why would 246 00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:14,201 Speaker 2: I not want to pursue this? But then when you 247 00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:16,761 Speaker 2: know in your head that it's not fully right, and 248 00:10:16,921 --> 00:10:19,361 Speaker 2: those two parts of you conflict, sometimes you have to 249 00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:22,241 Speaker 2: sit in that discomfort of them conflicting but still doing 250 00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,001 Speaker 2: the thing that's right for you. 251 00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:25,161 Speaker 1: I remember saying to you. It was in this micro 252 00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:28,721 Speaker 1: moment where you were like, oh, I remember saying to you, Okay, 253 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:31,521 Speaker 1: if I was single and this is happening to me, yeah, 254 00:10:31,561 --> 00:10:34,041 Speaker 1: and I brought this into you, what would you say 255 00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:36,561 Speaker 1: to me? Yeah, honest friend, Tiana Coachana, what would you 256 00:10:36,561 --> 00:10:37,961 Speaker 1: say to me? What did you say exactly? 257 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:41,081 Speaker 2: If is not fully aligned, you're wasting your time. It's 258 00:10:41,081 --> 00:10:43,681 Speaker 2: not it, it's not it. Yeah, somethings like that, not 259 00:10:43,721 --> 00:10:45,921 Speaker 2: wasting your time. It's never loss of time. I never 260 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:47,921 Speaker 2: didn't use that word. I can't remember what it was. 261 00:10:47,921 --> 00:10:49,641 Speaker 2: It was beautiful, said I carrying exactly what it was. 262 00:10:49,721 --> 00:10:53,041 Speaker 2: I think it gave you clarity of like, Okay, I've 263 00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:55,121 Speaker 2: made my decisions. It definitely did. That was the biggest 264 00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:56,841 Speaker 2: question that you asked you because I was like, you 265 00:10:56,881 --> 00:10:59,521 Speaker 2: know what, I would keep giving you firm advice. 266 00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:02,401 Speaker 1: And this is something you do with women with your coaching, right, 267 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,681 Speaker 1: Like you have really moved directions with your coaching of 268 00:11:04,721 --> 00:11:07,321 Speaker 1: helping women in the interim relationships. I'm guessing you help 269 00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:09,281 Speaker 1: a lot of single women as well. Yes, so yes, 270 00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:12,081 Speaker 1: do they bring in situations like Gianna, what I do? 271 00:11:12,161 --> 00:11:14,881 Speaker 1: This is happening. I'm in a situationship? Yes, help me? 272 00:11:14,961 --> 00:11:15,561 Speaker 1: Is that what happens? 273 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:17,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a variety of different things. So, like a 274 00:11:17,441 --> 00:11:20,961 Speaker 2: lot of women who are predominantly anxious in relationships, who 275 00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:24,681 Speaker 2: maybe struggle with self esteem or confidence, jealousy, all of it. 276 00:11:24,721 --> 00:11:27,521 Speaker 2: Who struggle with communication, who don't know how to deal 277 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 2: with their triggers with partners, or boundary in dating boundaries, 278 00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:33,321 Speaker 2: all of it. Like what I do is about helping 279 00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:36,121 Speaker 2: women become stronger in their boundaries, their confidence, and their 280 00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:38,641 Speaker 2: self worth, but doing it in a really graceful way, 281 00:11:38,881 --> 00:11:41,401 Speaker 2: you know, helping them teach them how to create standards, 282 00:11:41,521 --> 00:11:44,401 Speaker 2: how to build boundaries, how to build their self esteem, 283 00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:47,401 Speaker 2: and to show up in their single life, dating life, 284 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:50,441 Speaker 2: relationship life, and know how to be the best version 285 00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:52,681 Speaker 2: of themselves. That then cause their partners forward too, so 286 00:11:52,721 --> 00:11:55,201 Speaker 2: which is great. So it's never boring, I'll tell you that. 287 00:11:55,321 --> 00:11:57,801 Speaker 1: No, And yeah, it's cool even as a coach to 288 00:11:57,841 --> 00:12:00,761 Speaker 1: watch you navigate things just with your self awareness. I 289 00:12:00,841 --> 00:12:03,961 Speaker 1: love just watching you go through all these processes. Something 290 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:05,721 Speaker 1: I asked you the other day which I just thought 291 00:12:05,761 --> 00:12:07,921 Speaker 1: was something to bring into this conversation because I'm sure 292 00:12:07,921 --> 00:12:10,801 Speaker 1: a lot of other people feel this, But I said 293 00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:13,921 Speaker 1: to you, there must be hard being single and you 294 00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:16,961 Speaker 1: meet someone, you spend time with them, you develop feelings, 295 00:12:17,441 --> 00:12:18,921 Speaker 1: you know it's not right, so then you cut it 296 00:12:18,961 --> 00:12:23,961 Speaker 1: off and then you move on. I assume that's fucking hard. Yeah, 297 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:26,521 Speaker 1: you're invested in this person emotionally or even just as 298 00:12:26,521 --> 00:12:28,121 Speaker 1: a friend. You care about them, you want them to 299 00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:31,761 Speaker 1: be in your life. You've been involved romantically, sexually, intimately, 300 00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:34,681 Speaker 1: and then you have to let go and try again. 301 00:12:34,761 --> 00:12:37,641 Speaker 1: It's like, fuck, that seems exhausting and it seems really hard. 302 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,001 Speaker 1: I'm sure it's very exciting as well. Yes, so it's 303 00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: like the polarity. Yes, even in a long term relationship, 304 00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:46,121 Speaker 1: there's high highs and low low So it's like irrelevant, 305 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,561 Speaker 1: Like could you talk about how that feels to be 306 00:12:48,641 --> 00:12:50,601 Speaker 1: in the excitement phase of it, and then also the 307 00:12:51,121 --> 00:12:53,081 Speaker 1: grieving of what once was. 308 00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:55,761 Speaker 2: It's such an interesting thing because I even said to 309 00:12:55,801 --> 00:12:57,841 Speaker 2: you the other day, I'm like, that's it. I'm done. Yeah, 310 00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:00,561 Speaker 2: I'm done. Like I don't I don't want eliky energy. 311 00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,361 Speaker 2: I no more iliky energy. I don't want anybody to 312 00:13:02,361 --> 00:13:05,201 Speaker 2: come into my life who I'm not serious about, or 313 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,081 Speaker 2: who I don't genuinely feel like I want to build 314 00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:08,681 Speaker 2: a future with, because, like, as you know, and if 315 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,961 Speaker 2: anyone who doesn't know, I'm a lover girl through and through, 316 00:13:11,361 --> 00:13:13,481 Speaker 2: and I've always said, like, I want to create a 317 00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:16,041 Speaker 2: life with somebody and build something with someone high as 318 00:13:16,081 --> 00:13:18,841 Speaker 2: low as all of it. And you know, obviously it 319 00:13:18,921 --> 00:13:20,921 Speaker 2: is so exciting when you're seeing somebody new for the 320 00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:23,161 Speaker 2: first time, because you hit with all the dopamine and 321 00:13:23,201 --> 00:13:25,321 Speaker 2: all of the states and the fun and the lust 322 00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:28,041 Speaker 2: and the flirting for the texting, and that you know, 323 00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:31,921 Speaker 2: having that person's attention companionship all of the time, to 324 00:13:32,121 --> 00:13:34,801 Speaker 2: then potentially not working out, not being a right fit 325 00:13:34,841 --> 00:13:37,561 Speaker 2: to then you have to to readjust your life again 326 00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:40,761 Speaker 2: to not having that attention anymore, to not having that person. 327 00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:43,041 Speaker 2: And I think the hardest thing is like losing the 328 00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:46,121 Speaker 2: friendship aspect because you do, you build a friendship and 329 00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:49,121 Speaker 2: a bond with that person so much, and then sometimes 330 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,401 Speaker 2: if nothing goes wrong, you're like, fuck, can I just 331 00:13:51,481 --> 00:13:53,241 Speaker 2: keep this person in my life? Because I would value 332 00:13:53,281 --> 00:13:55,841 Speaker 2: them as a friend, you know, And so sometimes it 333 00:13:55,881 --> 00:13:58,761 Speaker 2: does end up being that way. I think now I'm 334 00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,961 Speaker 2: more intentional with who I let in my life. Very 335 00:14:01,281 --> 00:14:03,081 Speaker 2: the reason being is because it is so much of 336 00:14:03,081 --> 00:14:05,881 Speaker 2: an energy leak, you know, it is hard to welcome 337 00:14:05,921 --> 00:14:07,961 Speaker 2: people in and then only for them to go a 338 00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:11,201 Speaker 2: short period after because things didn't work out romantically. And 339 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,321 Speaker 2: I think that's something that's hard to deal with. And 340 00:14:13,361 --> 00:14:15,601 Speaker 2: if you're doing that constantly, which when I was younger, 341 00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:17,081 Speaker 2: I totally used to do that all the time. It 342 00:14:17,121 --> 00:14:20,201 Speaker 2: was like serial data. Loved it, right, but it was exhausting, 343 00:14:20,561 --> 00:14:22,641 Speaker 2: you know, and mentally and emotionally draining, and it does 344 00:14:22,641 --> 00:14:24,161 Speaker 2: it pulls you out of the things that are really 345 00:14:24,161 --> 00:14:25,241 Speaker 2: important to you as well. 346 00:14:25,321 --> 00:14:26,681 Speaker 1: I actually saw a quote the other day and it 347 00:14:26,721 --> 00:14:29,241 Speaker 1: was like this couple said, does he make your heart race? 348 00:14:29,521 --> 00:14:33,161 Speaker 1: And she said, no, he calms my nervous system. And 349 00:14:33,201 --> 00:14:36,521 Speaker 1: it's like when you're dating and in that lustful, exciting phase. 350 00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:39,481 Speaker 1: It's really consuming. And I have watched you go through this. 351 00:14:40,201 --> 00:14:42,201 Speaker 1: It's like you're thinking about little times, or you talk 352 00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:44,561 Speaker 1: about your fun date night, staying up all night talk 353 00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:46,201 Speaker 1: and getting to know each other, and it's just this 354 00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:49,721 Speaker 1: whole exciting thing. But I have seen it take away 355 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:54,001 Speaker 1: from then your work, your energy, your sleep, your routine, 356 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,201 Speaker 1: all the things that you really value. It kind of 357 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:59,041 Speaker 1: pulls you away from all of that. So my question 358 00:14:59,121 --> 00:15:02,121 Speaker 1: for you then is, if you're single, you don't want 359 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,441 Speaker 1: leaky energy, but you're trying to find your one. How 360 00:15:05,481 --> 00:15:07,881 Speaker 1: do you not leak your energy and get to know 361 00:15:07,921 --> 00:15:11,281 Speaker 1: someone to know they're the one without getting to know 362 00:15:11,361 --> 00:15:13,721 Speaker 1: them and putting time and energy and effort into them. 363 00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:16,161 Speaker 1: I remember the one that was quite persistent online. 364 00:15:16,201 --> 00:15:17,561 Speaker 2: You knew from get go, Yes they did. 365 00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:19,641 Speaker 1: Oh, straight away, we're on the Trapemill, we're talking, You're like, 366 00:15:19,681 --> 00:15:21,241 Speaker 1: oh this and there's this. I'm like, it's not it 367 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,441 Speaker 1: for you bad? Yeah, even you ask me this, you 368 00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:25,961 Speaker 1: know the answers we knew straight away. We knew, like 369 00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:27,761 Speaker 1: I'm in this, you are? 370 00:15:28,321 --> 00:15:28,881 Speaker 2: You really are? 371 00:15:29,081 --> 00:15:31,521 Speaker 1: So moving forward? How do you navigate that? Is it 372 00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:33,881 Speaker 1: just listening to your intuition more and just following that 373 00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:35,841 Speaker 1: instant no, what's your plan? 374 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,721 Speaker 2: It's that it's the checking in with myself if I 375 00:15:38,761 --> 00:15:42,361 Speaker 2: meet someone I'm interested in somebody, or somebody is pursuing me, Yeah, 376 00:15:42,481 --> 00:15:45,161 Speaker 2: I'm checking in with myself, Okay, like how do I feel? 377 00:15:45,521 --> 00:15:47,321 Speaker 2: How does my body feel? How do I feel like? 378 00:15:47,361 --> 00:15:49,201 Speaker 2: Do I genuinely want this? Do I have the space 379 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:50,841 Speaker 2: for this? Am I able to be a good partner 380 00:15:50,921 --> 00:15:53,761 Speaker 2: right now? Like asking myself these questions? And I think 381 00:15:53,841 --> 00:15:56,801 Speaker 2: just listening to myself in terms of I feel like, 382 00:15:56,841 --> 00:15:59,281 Speaker 2: you know, I spoke to you about this the other 383 00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:02,961 Speaker 2: day where I said it's been hard for me post 384 00:16:03,041 --> 00:16:04,881 Speaker 2: my long term relationship that I was in that I 385 00:16:04,961 --> 00:16:08,601 Speaker 2: was so head over heels in love with because that 386 00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:11,441 Speaker 2: feeling that I had with him was like I was 387 00:16:11,481 --> 00:16:13,601 Speaker 2: all in and as somebody. And I can blame this 388 00:16:13,641 --> 00:16:15,161 Speaker 2: on being a Gemini, which I warn't, but I'm going 389 00:16:15,201 --> 00:16:17,041 Speaker 2: to voice it anyway. I love it that like I 390 00:16:17,081 --> 00:16:20,121 Speaker 2: can be quite noncommittal, I'm very free. I love freedom 391 00:16:20,281 --> 00:16:22,121 Speaker 2: all of the things, like I'm not going to invest 392 00:16:22,121 --> 00:16:24,481 Speaker 2: into someone unless I think it is one hundred percent 393 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:26,641 Speaker 2: worth it, And with him, I felt that way, and 394 00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,441 Speaker 2: I felt it in myself that I was willing to 395 00:16:28,441 --> 00:16:30,761 Speaker 2: sacrifice really big things in my life because of him 396 00:16:30,841 --> 00:16:33,521 Speaker 2: and as a result of us ending up together. And 397 00:16:33,681 --> 00:16:36,561 Speaker 2: I just could feel everything about my energy, my mind, 398 00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:39,761 Speaker 2: my heart, everything was incoherence with him. Everything Yes, everything 399 00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:43,561 Speaker 2: was e yes. And so I'm learning now how to 400 00:16:44,281 --> 00:16:48,361 Speaker 2: understand what that yes feels like without the intensity of 401 00:16:48,361 --> 00:16:51,121 Speaker 2: that relationship, you know what I mean, Like there was 402 00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:53,561 Speaker 2: a certain level of intensity of that. But because I've 403 00:16:53,561 --> 00:16:56,081 Speaker 2: also had that clarity that I felt in that moment, 404 00:16:56,481 --> 00:16:58,681 Speaker 2: I guess what I then get to look for is 405 00:16:58,721 --> 00:17:01,601 Speaker 2: the clarity do I feel one hundred percent in? If 406 00:17:01,641 --> 00:17:03,481 Speaker 2: I'm not one hundred percent in? It's a hard no, 407 00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:06,321 Speaker 2: there's no in between. It is black or white, there's 408 00:17:06,321 --> 00:17:09,920 Speaker 2: no gray area. You either feel all in or you don't. 409 00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:11,041 Speaker 2: And like that's it. 410 00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: Do you think you'll feel that straight away? No? 411 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,400 Speaker 2: I don't necessarily, because like I didn't feel that with him. 412 00:17:16,921 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 2: But I think there's I've got to have a certain 413 00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 2: level of like, I like who this man is a person, 414 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,521 Speaker 2: I feel safe, similar lifestyles, say, similar values, we like 415 00:17:27,961 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 2: kind of like parallel together, going in the same direction 416 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,081 Speaker 2: in terms of all of those things. And so if 417 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,921 Speaker 2: I see all of that and I go yes, yes, yes, yes, 418 00:17:34,961 --> 00:17:37,961 Speaker 2: that feels good, and like overall it feels like congruent 419 00:17:38,041 --> 00:17:40,921 Speaker 2: with me and what I want. Then I'm like, okay, cool, 420 00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 2: like maybe I'll give that a chance and then I 421 00:17:43,281 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 2: can go from there and seeing if that's going to 422 00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 2: be the person for me. 423 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:46,640 Speaker 1: That's cool. 424 00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:48,120 Speaker 2: But I think if I look at those things and 425 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,401 Speaker 2: I go, okay, well he has a different value as 426 00:17:50,441 --> 00:17:52,481 Speaker 2: me in this and this is a really important area 427 00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: of my life, like that to me is going to 428 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 2: create problem in the future, Like I don't necessarily want that. 429 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,561 Speaker 1: What do you think the best thing about being single 430 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: is you to pick out one or two things? The 431 00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:03,241 Speaker 1: best thing about being single. 432 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,721 Speaker 2: Honestly, just like the personal growth you go through when 433 00:18:05,761 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 2: you focus all of your energy on yourself. Yeah, like 434 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:11,561 Speaker 2: you have freedom, you have time. Like relationships are energy, 435 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,281 Speaker 2: right because you're considering somebody else. And when you have 436 00:18:14,321 --> 00:18:16,801 Speaker 2: somebody who's an intimate person in your life, you're considering 437 00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 2: their moods, their feelings, schedule, yeah, everything. You're trying to 438 00:18:19,721 --> 00:18:21,921 Speaker 2: integrate them into your life. And so when you're single, 439 00:18:21,961 --> 00:18:24,321 Speaker 2: you don't really have that level of responsibility. You're kind 440 00:18:24,321 --> 00:18:25,801 Speaker 2: of just like I'm hanging out with my girlfriends, giving 441 00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:27,281 Speaker 2: me what I want when I want to my business 442 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,360 Speaker 2: and getting my money and like, oh, you know, so 443 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 2: it's a very different. It's a different feeling. You have freedom, 444 00:18:32,801 --> 00:18:34,880 Speaker 2: and it's fun and I get to focus solely. I 445 00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:37,440 Speaker 2: get to be selfish. I get to be totally one 446 00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:39,360 Speaker 2: hundred percent selfish, and I love that. 447 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,360 Speaker 1: That's so it's fun. 448 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,801 Speaker 2: I enjoy it because I love the time I get 449 00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:45,801 Speaker 2: to invest into myself whilst I'm single, and you really 450 00:18:45,961 --> 00:18:47,801 Speaker 2: enjoy that, And I really enjoy it because I love 451 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,041 Speaker 2: being by myself. Like I've gotten to a point now 452 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,961 Speaker 2: and I used to hate this. So if you're listening 453 00:18:52,041 --> 00:18:54,401 Speaker 2: to this going, I could never like I don't care 454 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 2: to go to restaurants or breakfast or anywhere by myself. 455 00:18:57,681 --> 00:18:59,880 Speaker 2: I will happily go on adventure by myself. I just 456 00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 2: enjoy my own company so much now, you know. And 457 00:19:02,961 --> 00:19:04,561 Speaker 2: it's so nice to be able to feel that. But 458 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,481 Speaker 2: then also so when I'm in a relationship, I also 459 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,241 Speaker 2: love that too. 460 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool. What's the worst thing about being single? 461 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,640 Speaker 2: I would say the energy leak of dating, the energy 462 00:19:14,681 --> 00:19:17,041 Speaker 2: leak of dating of the maybe bringing somebody in and 463 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 2: then them leaving. You know, it's disappointing, you know, losing 464 00:19:21,481 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 2: somebody that you genuinely care about and you think is 465 00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:25,281 Speaker 2: a great human and like, especially if you don't get 466 00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:28,001 Speaker 2: to necessarily have that person in your life anymore, it's 467 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,120 Speaker 2: like unplugging from that person. I think that's a hard 468 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 2: part of dating. I wouldn't say that dating in general 469 00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:34,561 Speaker 2: is hard, and I don't have anything like, oh, this 470 00:19:34,681 --> 00:19:36,761 Speaker 2: is so fucking shit. It's the worst thing ever. Like 471 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,921 Speaker 2: I hate talking to people. I love communication, love connection, 472 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,521 Speaker 2: you know, and that's why I'm intentional about it. So 473 00:19:42,561 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 2: I don't have a fucking you know, revolving door of 474 00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:48,161 Speaker 2: men coming through, like we don't want that, no, thank you. 475 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,761 Speaker 2: You know, can't even handle one that's existing, do you 476 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,561 Speaker 2: know what I mean. So it's not that, it's just, yeah, 477 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,521 Speaker 2: it can be disappointing when you're unplugging from people. 478 00:19:57,801 --> 00:20:00,041 Speaker 1: Yeah. We were talking about triggers the other day. Yeah, 479 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: and you're saying that when you're single, you kind of 480 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,561 Speaker 1: almost have it's not belief that like, oh I'm not 481 00:20:06,561 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: getting triggered because you don't have someone there to trigger you. 482 00:20:08,681 --> 00:20:11,161 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, can you talk about that? It is 483 00:20:11,281 --> 00:20:12,001 Speaker 2: so nice. 484 00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:14,041 Speaker 1: Because yeah, so nice. But I even said to you 485 00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:16,641 Speaker 1: we're talking about I think it was one of my triggers. 486 00:20:16,681 --> 00:20:18,041 Speaker 1: And then I said to you, oh, do you think 487 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,241 Speaker 1: when you meet someone this trigger will still arise or 488 00:20:20,241 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: do you think you've healed that? And you're like, oh 489 00:20:21,441 --> 00:20:23,761 Speaker 1: my gosh, that'll trigger me because it's a new relationship 490 00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 1: and that's an old wound of mine that I can 491 00:20:25,681 --> 00:20:27,360 Speaker 1: kind of I don't have to address right now, but 492 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,201 Speaker 1: when I'm with someone and that pops up, I will 493 00:20:29,201 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 1: one hundred percent have to work through that. Absolutely love 494 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: you to talk about that, because I think a lot 495 00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: of single people think I'm all healed. 496 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,041 Speaker 2: I'm more good, like absolutely not absolutely not being single. 497 00:20:38,241 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 2: It's like a false sense of security in terms of 498 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:41,961 Speaker 2: not being triggered. 499 00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:42,961 Speaker 1: That's a good way to put it. 500 00:20:42,921 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 2: You know, because you think like when you're single, you're like, 501 00:20:44,681 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm doing really well. I'm going through 502 00:20:46,281 --> 00:20:48,241 Speaker 2: a really good season. Everything in my life is going 503 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:48,761 Speaker 2: so well. 504 00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: I'm so chill. 505 00:20:49,961 --> 00:20:53,160 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so regulated chill. Yeah, I'm good, 506 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,400 Speaker 2: you know, And you think you've grown in that time, 507 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,681 Speaker 2: But the way that you grow is when you were 508 00:20:57,681 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 2: being triggered. So if you aren't being triggered. It's just 509 00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 2: because no one's in your life doing that. You know, 510 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,761 Speaker 2: think about the people in your life, your parents, your relationships, 511 00:21:05,041 --> 00:21:08,041 Speaker 2: into my relationships, whatever. The people who are triggering you 512 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,561 Speaker 2: most are inviting you to grow. Yeah, it's not a 513 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:11,801 Speaker 2: bad thing that they trigger. 514 00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,241 Speaker 1: You highlighting something that's already there. 515 00:21:13,281 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 2: That's right, And so yeah, it's a false sense of 516 00:21:15,801 --> 00:21:17,641 Speaker 2: security that you are not being triggered. 517 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,041 Speaker 1: Yeah. 518 00:21:18,041 --> 00:21:20,321 Speaker 2: So it's funny, right because now, like I'm single, right now, 519 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,521 Speaker 2: I don't really have like anybody in my life where 520 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,241 Speaker 2: I'm you know, need to get jealous for argument's sake, 521 00:21:25,281 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 2: And like we talk about this often, jealousy is a 522 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,561 Speaker 2: big thing of mine and it's a big wound that 523 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,001 Speaker 2: I have and I know that I need to work 524 00:21:31,001 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 2: through it. But right now, I don't have a relationship 525 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,801 Speaker 2: that's triggering that jealousy. So I know at one point 526 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,201 Speaker 2: in the future that will come up, and it will 527 00:21:38,201 --> 00:21:41,481 Speaker 2: come up, I'm sure many many times, because I'm jealous 528 00:21:41,521 --> 00:21:44,441 Speaker 2: and territorial and what's mine is mine and I want 529 00:21:44,441 --> 00:21:46,761 Speaker 2: to be special. So I know right now, I'm like 530 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,880 Speaker 2: I'm free from that. Yeah, I don't have anything that 531 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,920 Speaker 2: triggers that jealousy. It's cool when you're single because you 532 00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 2: are free from that. It gives you space to actually 533 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 2: work on other things as well and invest in yourself 534 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:56,681 Speaker 2: and of the things you can grow on by yourself, 535 00:21:56,761 --> 00:21:58,761 Speaker 2: right because you can support it. When you're single, you 536 00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 2: can consciously choose, like, let's say you're not being triggered, yeah, 537 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,561 Speaker 2: you can consciously look for those triggers yeah and go, okay, cool, 538 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,801 Speaker 2: what triggers me? How does it trigger me? Get curious 539 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,161 Speaker 2: about it. But when you are thrown into the deep 540 00:22:09,241 --> 00:22:10,521 Speaker 2: end of a trigger and it comes out of know 541 00:22:10,561 --> 00:22:13,360 Speaker 2: when it surprises and you're like, what, I need a 542 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,001 Speaker 2: minute to brow that was still this hurts like a bitch, 543 00:22:16,441 --> 00:22:19,201 Speaker 2: you know. But it's a very different experience. But when 544 00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:21,200 Speaker 2: you're in a relationship, it's a powerful thing to be 545 00:22:21,201 --> 00:22:24,321 Speaker 2: able to experience that. When you're single, you're free from that. 546 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,360 Speaker 1: Do you have any X when being single but just 547 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,521 Speaker 1: totally icky out that's. 548 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,521 Speaker 2: A really interesting question. I think it just cks me 549 00:22:29,561 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 2: if I can't have a conversation with somebody, like honestly, 550 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,680 Speaker 2: really just exs me if like I can't communicate with 551 00:22:34,681 --> 00:22:36,440 Speaker 2: that person and if they have like a lot of 552 00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 2: ego and like, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying 553 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,281 Speaker 2: that ego is bad. There is a time and a 554 00:22:39,321 --> 00:22:41,441 Speaker 2: place for it, but it's wounded ego that I don't 555 00:22:41,441 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 2: want to borrow off. I'm like, if you come off 556 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 2: in here with that energy, like we're not a match. 557 00:22:44,921 --> 00:22:46,640 Speaker 1: Yeah you know from outside? You know what I think 558 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,400 Speaker 1: X you, it would ea me too. It's like the 559 00:22:48,441 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: one word responses, one word yeah, just like lack of 560 00:22:51,521 --> 00:22:54,281 Speaker 1: conversation yes, oh my gosh, it's still communication base but 561 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:56,041 Speaker 1: like I can't think of an example, but I just 562 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,361 Speaker 1: remember there's one man who I know I'm giving you much. Yes, 563 00:22:58,561 --> 00:22:59,321 Speaker 1: you're like I'm bored. 564 00:22:59,521 --> 00:23:01,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, And they're like text me and be like hey, 565 00:23:01,521 --> 00:23:04,721 Speaker 2: and I'm like, yes, no that was I'm like please 566 00:23:04,721 --> 00:23:06,681 Speaker 2: at ways time, Yeah, like show. 567 00:23:06,521 --> 00:23:08,281 Speaker 1: Me something more interesting, like what do you mean hey? 568 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 2: But if you're going to like for me, it's like 569 00:23:10,321 --> 00:23:12,641 Speaker 2: have a conversation, we call me, yes, don't say hey, 570 00:23:12,761 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 2: write something else like don't like because if you're a 571 00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:17,761 Speaker 2: time like okay, what you want me to say? 572 00:23:17,761 --> 00:23:17,961 Speaker 1: Hey? 573 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,241 Speaker 2: Like what's up? Do you need something? 574 00:23:21,281 --> 00:23:21,681 Speaker 1: Right? Hat? 575 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,481 Speaker 2: And then you go what's up about? Fucking lotly? Don't 576 00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:26,721 Speaker 2: come up in here with that bullshit. 577 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: Oh love it. There she is, there is waiting for 578 00:23:31,321 --> 00:23:31,640 Speaker 1: her that. 579 00:23:31,961 --> 00:23:34,321 Speaker 2: Then there was this guy who was just trying to 580 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,241 Speaker 2: DM me on TikTok or something like that. Yeah, it 581 00:23:36,321 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 2: was so funny. Were just having a conversation because it 582 00:23:38,241 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 2: was messaging me about one of my videos. 583 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 1: A famous one. You can't say who, no. 584 00:23:42,801 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 2: No, this is just some guy who's complimenting me on 585 00:23:45,281 --> 00:23:48,121 Speaker 2: my work, okay, and just basically was having conversation. Had 586 00:23:48,201 --> 00:23:49,761 Speaker 2: a bit of ban ta like he was yeah, yeah, 587 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 2: bit obviously you could see that he was confident. And 588 00:23:52,481 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 2: then it got to the point where he basically was 589 00:23:54,921 --> 00:23:56,561 Speaker 2: asking to take me on a date and I said no, 590 00:23:56,681 --> 00:23:58,801 Speaker 2: and then he got the shits and got upset and 591 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,400 Speaker 2: then started like having a go being like gosh yeah, 592 00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,241 Speaker 2: like putting it back on me and being basically like 593 00:24:03,321 --> 00:24:06,001 Speaker 2: putting me down for saying no. Yeah, being like oh, 594 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,761 Speaker 2: and trying to tell me what it was that I 595 00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 2: was feeling, and trying to like like may I'm good, 596 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,761 Speaker 2: you know, trying to like be a therapist to me, 597 00:24:12,961 --> 00:24:14,441 Speaker 2: like oh, you're doing this because of this, and you're 598 00:24:14,441 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 2: doing this because it's like may I'm like, I'm just 599 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:20,041 Speaker 2: not interested, Like I just I'm sorry, but I don't 600 00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:20,441 Speaker 2: want to go. 601 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,201 Speaker 1: On a date with you. It does not take rejection. 602 00:24:23,281 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: Well, no, he didn't. And I was just like, wow, 603 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 2: you switched so quickly from going from Wow, I'm going 604 00:24:27,721 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 2: to be nice because I'm getting what I want to 605 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,201 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be nice because now I'm pierced 606 00:24:31,201 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 2: off that you rejected me. I'm like, that, isn't it 607 00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 2: like if you switch up on me, you're getting fucking blocked. 608 00:24:35,681 --> 00:24:38,321 Speaker 2: That's not fun, you know, because then it shows people's character. 609 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 1: Being wounded a little boy. 610 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:42,801 Speaker 2: Now, yeah, man, absolutely, yeah, I have a famous one. 611 00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, so oh I think you should. 612 00:24:46,521 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 2: So there was a famous man and I'm not going 613 00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:51,281 Speaker 2: to say who, no message or the show that he's on. No, 614 00:24:52,681 --> 00:24:56,241 Speaker 2: he messaged me on TikTok and account quite. 615 00:24:56,001 --> 00:24:58,761 Speaker 1: Famous on a very well known TV show, which she 616 00:24:58,801 --> 00:24:59,401 Speaker 1: told me I was. 617 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:03,201 Speaker 2: Like, very famous, Yeah yeah, and message me and it 618 00:25:03,321 --> 00:25:06,521 Speaker 2: just was basically telling me that he appreciated my work 619 00:25:06,561 --> 00:25:08,481 Speaker 2: and loved what I was sharing all of that sort 620 00:25:08,521 --> 00:25:10,521 Speaker 2: of stuff. He said like, I would love to get 621 00:25:10,521 --> 00:25:11,841 Speaker 2: to know you more. And I just said to him 622 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,680 Speaker 2: straight away from the get go, from the first message, 623 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 2: I said, hey, thank you so much for your message, 624 00:25:15,201 --> 00:25:16,801 Speaker 2: but I'm just like not dating at the moment, like, 625 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 2: thank you whatever. He just started continued conversation, very persistent, 626 00:25:23,201 --> 00:25:25,921 Speaker 2: and yeah, just got to in my eyes at least, 627 00:25:25,921 --> 00:25:28,641 Speaker 2: like build a friendship and communicate and connect with somebody new. 628 00:25:28,721 --> 00:25:30,361 Speaker 2: And that was a whole whirlwind. 629 00:25:30,521 --> 00:25:31,801 Speaker 1: You had to cut it off. I did. 630 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,481 Speaker 2: Yeah, I ended up because he kept pushing and insinuating 631 00:25:34,521 --> 00:25:35,201 Speaker 2: that he would. 632 00:25:34,961 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 1: Like fly here to like tell oh, yeah he was 633 00:25:36,441 --> 00:25:38,041 Speaker 1: ready to book. He was ready to book a twelve 634 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,201 Speaker 1: our fly Yeah, he was normal for me to travel 635 00:25:40,201 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, he's like it's no problem, basically just 636 00:25:41,961 --> 00:25:44,400 Speaker 1: waiting for the get go from me. And then after 637 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 1: a while, I was just like, look, I have to 638 00:25:45,801 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 1: reassure you that, like, this wasn't it for me. 639 00:25:48,001 --> 00:25:50,321 Speaker 2: This is very platonic for me. I don't see this romantically. 640 00:25:50,321 --> 00:25:51,761 Speaker 1: And it's also more than double your age. 641 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was much older. Yeah. Yeah, so it just 642 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 2: like wasn't for me anyway. 643 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:55,921 Speaker 1: Yeah. 644 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 2: Else to say, well, do you see the story. I 645 00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 2: don't know what us to say, but that's really all 646 00:25:59,961 --> 00:26:01,920 Speaker 2: there is to it, because I just I knew from 647 00:26:01,961 --> 00:26:03,921 Speaker 2: the beginning that I was like no, this is not it. 648 00:26:04,001 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 2: Like I'm happy to build a frendchhppear and like have 649 00:26:05,961 --> 00:26:08,520 Speaker 2: a connection and whatever. But that was as far as 650 00:26:08,521 --> 00:26:09,001 Speaker 2: it was going. 651 00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:12,281 Speaker 1: And then yeah, any advice for single ladies out there 652 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: that are just so wanting a relationship, just feeling sad 653 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 1: that I don't like being single? They actually fucking hate it. 654 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,881 Speaker 1: They're like, tee, I just want to find my man. 655 00:26:20,921 --> 00:26:22,361 Speaker 1: I want to build a life with him. I don't 656 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 1: want to do this by myself anymore. But I'm just 657 00:26:24,721 --> 00:26:26,240 Speaker 1: not meeting them. What do I do? 658 00:26:26,241 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 2: Don't allow your want for a relationship to allow you 659 00:26:29,001 --> 00:26:30,601 Speaker 2: to settle for something that is not. 660 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,041 Speaker 1: What you want. Boom micdrop. Easier than done. I'm assuming 661 00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:34,400 Speaker 1: it is. 662 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,801 Speaker 2: Easier so than done. Right, But this is a thing, 663 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,641 Speaker 2: like you have to value yourself enough that you're not 664 00:26:39,721 --> 00:26:41,721 Speaker 2: just going to let any Tom Dick and Harry come 665 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,721 Speaker 2: into your life. It's a funny expression, but do you 666 00:26:44,761 --> 00:26:46,321 Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, I'm just gonna let any 667 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:49,361 Speaker 2: man come in and like you so freely give everything 668 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,481 Speaker 2: that you've got to this man, Like, if you can 669 00:26:51,801 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 2: learn and I know it's challenging, but if you can 670 00:26:54,721 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 2: learn to value yourself and You'll do this by being single, 671 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,360 Speaker 2: not allowing anybody into your space, being protective of who 672 00:27:01,441 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 2: you allow into your time, your energy, your pussy for one, 673 00:27:05,201 --> 00:27:07,001 Speaker 2: your body, do you know what I mean? Like, you 674 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,481 Speaker 2: are so valuable, and when you can see yourself as valuable, 675 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 2: you will not just allow any relationship to come in 676 00:27:13,721 --> 00:27:16,281 Speaker 2: purely because you want for a man. You don't want 677 00:27:16,321 --> 00:27:18,281 Speaker 2: just any man to come in. You want the men 678 00:27:18,321 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 2: to come in. You want your men to come in. 679 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,920 Speaker 2: So just be willing to say no to the things 680 00:27:23,921 --> 00:27:27,321 Speaker 2: that feel half okay, or that feel like sixty five 681 00:27:27,321 --> 00:27:29,121 Speaker 2: percent of the way there. Like if you know there's 682 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 2: a part of you that's like, oh this is good, 683 00:27:30,921 --> 00:27:34,001 Speaker 2: but you know it's good enough, just be willing to 684 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,921 Speaker 2: let it go. Give yourself the validation, Go spend time 685 00:27:36,961 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 2: with your girlfriends instead. If you need connection, get it 686 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,201 Speaker 2: from other places, you know, just be willing to say no, 687 00:27:44,201 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 2: no rush, right, there's no rush. Honestly, this time of 688 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,681 Speaker 2: being single is a really beautiful time. And to be honest, 689 00:27:50,721 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 2: like and coming from somebody who was so scared of 690 00:27:52,961 --> 00:27:56,360 Speaker 2: being alone. If you can get comfortable being in your 691 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:59,361 Speaker 2: own energy, you will become a very powerful version of yourself. 692 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,401 Speaker 2: Because when you like your own energy, the person who 693 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,481 Speaker 2: comes into your life is going to have to either 694 00:28:04,561 --> 00:28:06,881 Speaker 2: match or be better than your time alone. Yeah, they've 695 00:28:06,921 --> 00:28:08,440 Speaker 2: either got to match it and it's going to be 696 00:28:08,441 --> 00:28:10,041 Speaker 2: the same, or they've got to be better. 697 00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:11,161 Speaker 1: Otherwise it's not going to work. 698 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,321 Speaker 2: Otherwise it's not going to work. Otherwise it's not worth 699 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,761 Speaker 2: investing your time, energy effort into this relationship. If it's 700 00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:19,041 Speaker 2: only going to bring you down or impact your life 701 00:28:19,041 --> 00:28:21,321 Speaker 2: in a negative way, it is not worth it. Really 702 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 2: good advice, and the way that you become more valuable 703 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,921 Speaker 2: in your own eyes is learning how to say no more, 704 00:28:27,201 --> 00:28:29,561 Speaker 2: prioritizing the things that you love, making sure that you're 705 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,641 Speaker 2: building a life outside of wanting a relationship. What other 706 00:28:32,721 --> 00:28:35,201 Speaker 2: pillars in your life do you have that are important 707 00:28:35,201 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 2: to you that you can pour into where you can 708 00:28:37,521 --> 00:28:39,961 Speaker 2: get bits of fulfillment from all of those different areas 709 00:28:40,001 --> 00:28:44,921 Speaker 2: of your life. Friendships, family, career, business side, hustle, hobbies, 710 00:28:45,081 --> 00:28:47,561 Speaker 2: all of it fuel those areas of your life, and 711 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:50,161 Speaker 2: your life will become so valuable that you'll actually have 712 00:28:50,241 --> 00:28:51,081 Speaker 2: something to protect. 713 00:28:51,321 --> 00:28:53,681 Speaker 1: So cool, really good advice, mic. 714 00:28:53,561 --> 00:28:54,761 Speaker 2: Drop, That's all I've got. 715 00:28:54,841 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for sharing thanks. Jus is 716 00:28:57,561 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: really amazing empowering advice as well. Thank you, thank you. 717 00:29:01,241 --> 00:29:01,801 Speaker 2: I appreciate you. 718 00:29:01,881 --> 00:29:03,601 Speaker 1: Ladies wanting relationship advice. 719 00:29:03,561 --> 00:29:05,801 Speaker 2: You can find me at Tiana Bundala on Instagram and 720 00:29:05,841 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 2: just send me a DM and we can have a chat. 721 00:29:07,801 --> 00:29:09,401 Speaker 2: I do only have a couple of spots left for 722 00:29:09,401 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 2: the whole of twenty twenty five, but I will be 723 00:29:11,801 --> 00:29:14,041 Speaker 2: in the future booking out for twenty twenty six as well, 724 00:29:14,081 --> 00:29:15,321 Speaker 2: So if you do want a spot and you want 725 00:29:15,361 --> 00:29:16,801 Speaker 2: to lock it in, you can also leave a deposit 726 00:29:16,841 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 2: and we can work that out. But just send me them, 727 00:29:19,721 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 2: have a chat and we can see if you know 728 00:29:21,601 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 2: what you're needing is like what I can support you with. 729 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 2: You're in demand, girling, proud of you, Thank you, love you, 730 00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:26,961 Speaker 2: love you. 731 00:29:27,161 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. Guys, We'll see you in the 732 00:29:28,481 --> 00:29:30,521 Speaker 1: next episode. Bye bye,