Speaker 1: It's a chronic time, the time of day where you
Speaker 1: put your headphones on and listen to us talk about
Speaker 1: sick shit.
Speaker 2: It will make it really fun and interesting. We promise
Speaker 2: it fun.
Speaker 1: There'll be a bit of fun in there too. It
Speaker 1: is brook and Monty. We both have chronic health issues.
Speaker 1: I've got migraines, chronic fatigue pots. Brookie, you've got ms.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, chronic. It's a smorgasbord of fun, Morgas mord
Speaker 2: between us.
Speaker 1: We've got a lot of shit going on, and if
Speaker 1: you're listening, obviously you do too, or you've got a
Speaker 1: family or a member or friend that does as well.
Speaker 3: So welcome and thanks for listening.
Speaker 4: Speaking of people that have a lot going on, I
Speaker 4: wanted to talk to you about something because I went
Speaker 4: recently to Jamilla Ribsby and Rosie Waterland's book launch. They
Speaker 4: have launched this book called Broken Brains. It's I mean,
Speaker 4: I've just started reading it and it is so good
Speaker 4: life so good already, like so candid and raw and vulnerable,
Speaker 4: but funny as well. But it was really interesting because
Speaker 4: there's the first chapter in the book Rosie talks about
Speaker 4: and she talked about this that the book launched too.
Speaker 4: She talked about how because Jamilla has a brain tumor
Speaker 4: and she has mental health issues, and that's kind of
Speaker 4: the way the book works. So Rosy is like the
Speaker 4: mental health side of a broken brain and Jamilla is
Speaker 4: the physical side of a broken brain.
Speaker 3: Such a great idea, it really is.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 4: And Rosie was talking about the fact that she when
Speaker 4: she started writing the book and she read Jam's first chapter,
Speaker 4: she was very much like, shit, I wish I had
Speaker 4: a brain tumor. And she wrote that in the first chapter,
Speaker 4: like I wish that I actually had a brain tumor,
Speaker 4: because then I could say, here, see this is what's
Speaker 4: wrong with me, because what Jamilla has is so much
Speaker 4: worse than what I have going on. And at first
Speaker 4: the publish I said, oh, you should probably take that out,
Speaker 4: like it doesn't make you look amazing, and she was like, actually,
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: Care, because that's the truth.
Speaker 4: And it just straight away took me to this conversation
Speaker 4: that I feel like we have quite a bit too,
Speaker 4: where you will often say, oh, but you've got it
Speaker 4: worse because you've got a mess, And I do not
Speaker 4: think that at all, like, not even for a second,
Speaker 4: And It was so interesting because Jamilla was like, Jamilla
Speaker 4: said the same thing, and she said, I like, I
Speaker 4: don't know how Rosie does what she does and lives
Speaker 4: with everything that she lives with.
Speaker 2: And I couldn't. I couldn't do that.
Speaker 4: I actually would not take her illness over what my
Speaker 4: illness is.
Speaker 2: And I thought that is so interesting.
Speaker 4: And I want to tell you that, and I hope
Speaker 4: that it validates you because you often kind of played
Speaker 4: off like it's not a big deal, and it is
Speaker 4: like it is massive, and I just want you to
Speaker 4: know that it is valid and you should never feel
Speaker 4: like it's not shit.
Speaker 3: I'm going to cry already.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: No, I just like, oh, honey, I just I'm not
Speaker 3: having a great day. My head's not very good. And
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I don't want to if I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, like, you know, I have days where I can't
Speaker 1: get out of bed with my migraine. But if I
Speaker 1: can get out, I thought, no, I'm going to record
Speaker 1: today when I'm I sometimes think like we're very real
Speaker 1: and honest in this podcast, but sometimes I think we
Speaker 1: sound really up as well. Yeah a lot of the time,
Speaker 1: but sometimes you and I are like, oh god, was
Speaker 1: that boring or was that not? And sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 1: fuck it were sometimes saying the words, but because we're
Speaker 1: feeling good when we record, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: always hitting how I wanted to. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's making any sense. But today I'm not feeling well.
Speaker 1: I went to pilates and I had to leave halfway
Speaker 1: through it, and I knew driving to it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're not feeling good. But I pushed myself because that's
Speaker 1: what we do, because we want to do the normal shit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and some days you have those days where you just
Speaker 1: don't want to surrender to it, but you're saying that
Speaker 1: because I do. I'm always like, but you've got a mess,
Speaker 1: and I've got fucking crank, migraines and depression.
Speaker 4: It just feels on a difference, but it's actually it's
Speaker 4: just really not. It is just so not And I
Speaker 4: haven't had a lot of mental health issues in my life,
Speaker 4: and since my diagnosis, I have like experienced some anxiety
Speaker 4: only recently, and it is awful, like so so awful.
Speaker 4: And if I had to feel like that all the
Speaker 4: time every day, I don't know how I could do that.
Speaker 4: I don't know how I could function.
Speaker 1: It's all reality busin it, I know, but you do
Speaker 1: compare points and just Rosy saying that though like for
Speaker 1: her to say, I wish I had a brain tumors,
Speaker 1: as jarring as that is, and how fucked it is.
Speaker 1: Sam has occasionally said to me sometimes I wish what
Speaker 1: we were dealing with is cancer, because people know where
Speaker 1: to put it, people know to do for people because.
Speaker 3: It's it's known. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: But when you're living with a chronic invisible illness, people
Speaker 1: don't know where to put it. You don't know where
Speaker 1: to put it yourself. There's people don't know how to
Speaker 1: help you. But it's almost when you've got this clear
Speaker 1: cut thing that everyone knows and even and he's like
Speaker 1: more so for doctors, like so there's a path, you've
Speaker 1: got this, this is what we're doing, this is the
Speaker 1: treatment we're doing. You've got somebody in control. When you've
Speaker 1: got an illness, it's a chronic illness that so many
Speaker 1: play into one. You don't have one doctor leading it,
Speaker 1: you don't know what to try, you're just doing it
Speaker 1: all on your own. So I get what Rosie's saying,
Speaker 1: even though it sounds fucking jarring.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 2: It's true.
Speaker 4: And you have mentioned that before too, Lack. You know,
Speaker 4: if you had a broken I don't know, broken arm
Speaker 4: or you know that no big but yeah, people could
Speaker 4: see that there's something wrong with you and then they
Speaker 4: know how to act accordingly. Whereas Rosie was saying, this
Speaker 4: was really sad. Actually it made me like really sad
Speaker 4: to think about this. So Jamilla had been in hospital
Speaker 4: for her brain tumor, and then when she got out
Speaker 4: of hospital, Rosie was in a like a like a
Speaker 4: psych ward or is that what you would call it.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like I guess a health rehab
Speaker 1: kind of place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she was, you know, not in a good way.
Speaker 4: And so Jamilla went to visit her and they were
Speaker 4: both talking about their situations, and Jamilla was talking about
Speaker 4: how the amazing support that she's been receiving from people
Speaker 4: around her, and she said something like I think I've
Speaker 4: got eleven lasagneas in my freezer at the moment, and
Speaker 4: Rosie said, I have never once been given a lasagna.
Speaker 4: And I thought that is heartbreaking because what she's going
Speaker 4: through and what people with mental health issues that are
Speaker 4: so severe, what they're going through is so so awful
Speaker 4: and you just couldn't not even if you're not in
Speaker 4: that headspace. It's so hard to imagine how hard that
Speaker 4: would be. And the fact that she doesn't get that
Speaker 4: support because it's not you know, it's not a brain tumor,
Speaker 4: or it's you know, it's not cancer, you know, is
Speaker 4: really heartbreaking that she can't get the support because you
Speaker 4: can't see it. And it's not like easy to just
Speaker 4: say this is what I've got, you know.
Speaker 1: Totally, or people it's not they're uncomfortable, or if somebody
Speaker 1: is like, do you want me to make you a meal?
Speaker 4: I'm never gonna go yes, yeah, I hate that, but
Speaker 4: like we're a new body, but you never want to say, actually, yeah,
Speaker 4: i'd love you to make me a spaghetti pilonise for
Speaker 4: to day.
Speaker 1: No. But that's where that's when Sam comes into it,
Speaker 1: and he's like, that's people would know. We need you
Speaker 1: to bring us fucking meals. We need this, we need that,
Speaker 1: this is what we're going through. But even though yeah,
Speaker 1: and even saying it, I feel guilty because I don't
Speaker 1: wish that upon myself. But at the same time, we
Speaker 1: do need that support often, but people don't know how
Speaker 1: to give it, and you don't know how to ask
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 3: It's just the reality of it.
Speaker 1: And sometimes you don't want to like sometimes I might No,
Speaker 1: We're fine, because it fluctuates day to day.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Of course, Jamella had this really great thing that she
Speaker 4: said that she like her circle do with her, which
Speaker 4: I thought was so cool. That when she's like having
Speaker 4: a you know, a really tough wig while she's in
Speaker 4: hospital or something, her friends will say, Okay, so I've
Speaker 4: got two hours free on Wednesday, I could do a
Speaker 4: I could come to your house and make you a
Speaker 4: tea and blah blah, or I could come over and
Speaker 4: do your washing. Or I could make you dinner and
Speaker 4: bring it over. Choose a b or seat. I'm like,
Speaker 4: that is incredible because you never can ask any people
Speaker 4: say do you need anything? You don't really ever say
Speaker 4: yes please. So I thought, I love that, and I'm
Speaker 4: going to do that even for like new mums as well,
Speaker 4: you know who need a hand. Yeah, instead of going
Speaker 4: over and expecting them to make you a tea.
Speaker 2: And whatever else, Like, really, if you were able.
Speaker 4: To send the you know, send them that message and
Speaker 4: say choose, I'll be there in this afternoon, like that
Speaker 4: was amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really good idea actually, so yeah, get
Speaker 1: onto that. But then I also go, oh, I should
Speaker 1: be doing more for my friends too, like you never do,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: And I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's just tricky.
Speaker 1: I guess everyone just does the best they can. But
Speaker 1: it is also people don't know sometimes what to do
Speaker 1: or But yeah, it's interesting, isn't it.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry you're having a shitty day. I wish I
Speaker 4: could make you lillasign ye, but you're so far, so
Speaker 4: far away.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 1: Caatelinebrook sent me crapes once, crapes crapes. She was in
Speaker 1: Melbourne and she's always used to drop black things like
Speaker 1: pancakes and stuff off at.
Speaker 3: My door when we used to live in Melbourne.
Speaker 1: She said, I'm going to send you some and they
Speaker 1: were in on a dish on the pancakes and then
Speaker 1: they were wrapped in like foil, wrapped in tea towels.
Speaker 1: They arrived within that like the next day. She expressed
Speaker 1: posts them. They were fantastic. Oh god, they got alban
Speaker 1: to Byron and my family and I ate them and
Speaker 1: we it was like the funniest thing that had ever
Speaker 1: happened because we never thought these crapes would make it
Speaker 1: and be edible, but they were.
Speaker 4: I guess when you think about it, like meal delivery
Speaker 4: services and delivering meals every day from Sydney to Melbourne
Speaker 4: and all over the place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was pretty funny.
Speaker 1: And if they don't send me crapes or don't send
Speaker 1: meal as honey, I thank you, But really I.
Speaker 2: Was just going to organize a lasagnia. Well wait anymore?
Speaker 1: Oh no, thank you, thank you though. Hey, so last
Speaker 1: time we chatted. Everyone who listened to our last podcast
Speaker 1: will be like, oh my god, what's the update with Brooke.
Speaker 1: So last time we recorded, after we were finishing, you
Speaker 1: were going to go and see your neurologist and get
Speaker 1: some test results from quite a big test that you
Speaker 1: a blood test that you were having because you had
Speaker 1: had a bit of a flare up with MS. But
Speaker 1: they couldn't see anything new on your brain. Is that
Speaker 1: explaining it right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a new test that they're doing here in Australia.
Speaker 4: They've been doing it overseas for years. It's pretty amazing.
Speaker 4: It can look at like the amount of disease on
Speaker 4: your brain and the likelihood of progression and how quickly
Speaker 4: it's likely to progress. So it's pretty amazing, and they
Speaker 4: thought it would be good for me to do that because.
Speaker 2: I've had I haven't had a great run.
Speaker 4: Firstly, I get and you know, some people might relapse
Speaker 4: like once every ten years, or some people just like
Speaker 4: don't relapse at all, And I've kind of had a
Speaker 4: relapse in the last three years, like every few months.
Speaker 4: I would say some of those times, you like, the
Speaker 4: neurologist would expect that there would be a new lesion
Speaker 4: on the brain or she'd be able to see something
Speaker 4: like an enlarged lesion that was already there or something,
Speaker 4: and a couple of times she hasn't been able to
Speaker 4: see anything. So this test is kind of to helping
Speaker 4: those instances where the MRIs just don't show everything. There's
Speaker 4: often like lesions that are in places that are too
Speaker 4: tricky to see, or maybe they're too small at the
Speaker 4: moment that they can't see. So this just kind of
Speaker 4: if you're in that great and they're not sure what
Speaker 4: to do and what the next step should be, this
Speaker 4: kind of helps them make those decisions.
Speaker 1: Right, So you were waiting for those results back and
Speaker 1: when we chatted you know.
Speaker 3: I said, how do you feel? And you said that
Speaker 3: you think everything will be okay.
Speaker 4: No, I don't get upset. Don't you get upset, and
Speaker 4: then I will.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I didn't hear from you. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: keep hassling you. But it got later that night and
Speaker 1: I'm like, Chookie, just.
Speaker 3: Let me know when you die.
Speaker 2: Gosh.
Speaker 1: A new wrote, so results not great, pretty shit. Actually,
Speaker 1: she said the number is really high, she said. She
Speaker 1: said it should be a route about five and it's twenty.
Speaker 1: It's progressing too fast.
Speaker 3: She said.
Speaker 1: It means that now she knows there is a lot
Speaker 1: going on that they can't see on the scans, that
Speaker 1: there are lesions there we can't see and can't be
Speaker 1: picked up on the scans. Maybe they're too small or
Speaker 1: in tricky places. She'll let the stem cell lady know
Speaker 1: and said to call her tomorrow and follow up for
Speaker 1: an appointment. And in the meantime she wants to have
Speaker 1: monthly st with treatments.
Speaker 3: Yuck.
Speaker 1: Anyway, it is what it is, so much for my
Speaker 1: positive thinking. Then you took a few days to dissect
Speaker 1: and you started a new fucking.
Speaker 2: I started my new job. I'm married at first sight.
Speaker 2: Bloody love it. I'm obsessed. I love it, everything about
Speaker 2: it and everyone.
Speaker 3: That you love it.
Speaker 1: So you get this result, you have a few days
Speaker 1: to think about it. Then you jump into a full
Speaker 1: on job that's going to be like a three month
Speaker 1: stretch of working on married at first Sight, which is
Speaker 1: fucking epic. And now we're podcasting again. So where's things at?
Speaker 2: So yeah, I guess I don't know.
Speaker 4: I think that when I was talking to you about it,
Speaker 4: I felt pretty sure that it would it would be fine,
Speaker 4: Like it wouldn't be anything to be worried about. And
Speaker 4: if that were the case, then I could just kind
Speaker 4: of keep going on doing the treatment that I'm doing
Speaker 4: and I wouldn't really have to change too much. But yeah,
Speaker 4: it's it is quite high. So now it's real. It's
Speaker 4: a waiting game basically again. Now just have to wait.
Speaker 4: I've got an appointment to see a lady here who
Speaker 4: heads up like the stem cell transplants for MS, and yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm seeing her in a few weeks, and then I'll
Speaker 4: have a better idea of yeah, of the next the
Speaker 4: next steps. Yeah, I think I probably took you know,
Speaker 4: a couple of days just to sit with it and
Speaker 4: feel a bit shit and then you know, you just
Speaker 4: have to get up and get on with it. So
Speaker 4: it's definitely some wallowing, you know, for a few days,
Speaker 4: I'm just laying low.
Speaker 2: You know. I come out of these.
Speaker 4: Things pretty quickly, so I feel like, Okay, now I
Speaker 4: feel like what will be will be, and I have
Speaker 4: no control of it, any of this. So I feel
Speaker 4: like I'm doing all the right things. I feel like
Speaker 4: I'm doing everything I can. And I did say that.
Speaker 4: I did say to Moneral, I just like, what can
Speaker 4: I do? Like what else can I do? And she was,
Speaker 4: you know, just like nothing, There's nothing that you can do.
Speaker 4: You're not doing anything wrong. It's just this is just
Speaker 4: the way it goes. So yeah, I just now I
Speaker 4: just sit tight and wait and just try and keep busy.
Speaker 2: So I'm not thinking about it.
Speaker 4: But I guess also, even though I really have not
Speaker 4: wanted to go down the path of doing the transplant,
Speaker 4: I also think if that were the option that they
Speaker 4: think I need to do, then I'm lucky at the
Speaker 4: same time, right, because not a lot of people get
Speaker 4: that opportunity to have this transplant. It's very strict on
Speaker 4: the criteria to get in it would be you know,
Speaker 4: I would be really lucky if I were to be
Speaker 4: able to do it. So I just am trying to
Speaker 4: focus on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is an amazing way to think about. Like
Speaker 1: what you could potentially looking at is fucking hard yaka,
Speaker 1: which we explained it all in the previous episode.
Speaker 3: If your first time, it's.
Speaker 1: The waiting, I don't know how you don't go fucking
Speaker 1: insane just with all of this waiting, Like you've got
Speaker 1: an appointment in a few weeks time to find out
Speaker 1: like how the next couple of years are going.
Speaker 3: To look for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it's wild, isn't it?
Speaker 4: And but you know what this is the this is
Speaker 4: a life of somebody with chronic illness, right, Like it
Speaker 4: is just you have your MRIs, whether it's like six
Speaker 4: monthly or three monthly or really and then you're just
Speaker 4: hanging waiting to see what happens and what the results
Speaker 4: are and like everybody has to go through the same
Speaker 4: thing and the same awful weight.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean, like I think back to like when I
Speaker 4: was doing IVF as well, and you have that two
Speaker 4: week wait where you are waiting to find out if
Speaker 4: the transfers work, and yeah, like a lot of people
Speaker 4: have that weight and it's yeah, it's hard and it's shitty,
Speaker 4: but you just, I think, have to keep busy or
Speaker 4: you drive yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: How perfect is the timing of this maths stint that
Speaker 1: you're doing.
Speaker 2: Do you know what? Maybe this is like it's meant
Speaker 2: to be.
Speaker 1: I'm like, because when you were about to take it on,
Speaker 1: I was like, this is a pretty big because it's
Speaker 1: three months intensive work, like ten hours a day. I'm like,
Speaker 1: how the fuck are you gonna do this? But now
Speaker 1: it seems like a blessing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too. I think so too.
Speaker 4: And you know what I did after, Like I had
Speaker 4: my first week and then I messaged you and I said,
Speaker 4: we're going to find I want you to be doing
Speaker 4: something exciting to take your mind off things as well.
Speaker 4: And I know it's not like it's you know, it
Speaker 4: doesn't work like that for everyone, and everyone's illnesses are
Speaker 4: differently and present differently and things like that. But for me,
Speaker 4: I think it's been really good and definitely come at
Speaker 4: the right time.
Speaker 3: Because you do need another focus. This is the thing.
Speaker 1: It dominates our life so much that if you don't
Speaker 1: have something else, it's really it's so all consuming anyway
Speaker 1: that then it's really hard to find an identity outside
Speaker 1: of this, where you go, I'm not all of this.
Speaker 1: But then when you don't have other little things going on,
Speaker 1: because even say, I podcast and my one with mals
Speaker 1: not linked to health, but even doing this, which I love,
Speaker 1: is still linked to.
Speaker 3: Our help, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm just craving a little something from the chronicness. Yeah, totally,
Speaker 1: something that's just not connected at all. And I think
Speaker 1: you've you've got that. You've jumped fucking headfirst into something
Speaker 1: full on. On a side note, do you get to
Speaker 1: know because I did? I never commit to Mass because
Speaker 1: it's so it's such a big commitment.
Speaker 4: I know it's the show ever I love it. I
Speaker 4: can't get enough of it. It's big in my family.
Speaker 1: Yes, I watched it when I was breastfeeding with Odie.
Speaker 1: That's what got me through breastfeeding. But then I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't have seven nights a week. It's like a
Speaker 1: fifteen hour a week commitment to that show.
Speaker 3: It's huge. Do you get to meet then?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: What do you how close a you're going to get to.
Speaker 2: The nitty gritty I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not like out in the field doing
Speaker 4: like the producing like of the you know, like that
Speaker 4: there are producers that stay at the hotel where the
Speaker 4: couples are and they stay there for three months or
Speaker 4: however long it's being filmed. But you know, if you
Speaker 4: have a family and commitments, it's very hard to be
Speaker 4: able to do things like that. So I'm kind of
Speaker 4: in the pre production stage, which yeah, I'm loving. So
Speaker 4: I will get some goss, but I have my lips sealed.
Speaker 1: Oh so exciting because you're going to know who the
Speaker 1: contestants are before everyone like does. You're going to know
Speaker 1: so much you're not going to tell you any how
Speaker 1: amazing is that concept though?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like just phenomenal. And many of the couple still together.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, there's quite a few.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the Bachelor, there's quite a few bachelor couples
Speaker 1: where you go, there's no fucking chance this is going
Speaker 1: to work, but there's quite a few of them.
Speaker 4: I've got a bachelor couple around the corner from me
Speaker 4: here in Avalon.
Speaker 3: If you got Robarts, no.
Speaker 4: I've got Holly Kingston and the pilot what was his name?
Speaker 2: Do you remember?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I lost interest in that.
Speaker 1: Oh just see a lot of them have and Laura
Speaker 1: Burne and Maddie Jay are about to have their baby
Speaker 1: SNZ and Sam would have had sixty four babies.
Speaker 2: We love them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good is the success story from a reality TV.
Speaker 2: It's pretty cool.
Speaker 3: Awesome, it's so cool, I think.
Speaker 1: So all right, everyone, well we're going to get out
Speaker 1: of here. Thanks so much for listening. We love hearing
Speaker 1: from you. Any messages, send us voice notes, send us messages,
Speaker 1: any topics or if you just want to you know somehow. Yes,
Speaker 1: podcasts is where you can find us and we will
Speaker 1: be back soon.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 4: I know we just said goodbye, but I just thought, man,
Speaker 4: when we said like have a you know, have a winge,
Speaker 4: maybe we should do like a venting thing like people
Speaker 4: just like event, like if you want to just leave
Speaker 4: us a message and have a vent, you know, have
Speaker 4: you know, like like my friend doesn't understand blah blah.
Speaker 2: What is like just like leave us a message and
Speaker 2: have a good vent.
Speaker 3: Do it? Really love to hear it, Show and Tell
Speaker 3: Podcasts Bye for now,