Speaker 1: I hope this finds you bloody terrific. I want to
Speaker 1: start this little extravaganza by reading you something, Reading you
Speaker 1: something It's about failure. Failure is often viewed as the
Speaker 1: antithesis of success, a dreaded, shameful outcome to be avoided
Speaker 1: at all costs. Yet in truth, failure is a normal, everyday,
Speaker 1: integral part of the human experience, a natural companion on
Speaker 1: the journey towards growth, towards learning, towards development, towards you
Speaker 1: being the better version of you. To fear failure is
Speaker 1: to fear the very process of learning, because without stumbling,
Speaker 1: without fucking up, without falling down, you can't really grow, learn, evolve,
Speaker 1: and move forward. At its core, failure serves as a
Speaker 1: mirror reflecting both our limitations and our potential. It's not
Speaker 1: a final verdict on our abilities, but rather an invitation
Speaker 1: to assess, adapt, and improve. The most successful individuals in
Speaker 1: any field, whether that's science or sport, or art or
Speaker 1: business or any kind of personal endeavor, really are not
Speaker 1: those who avoid failure because we can't, but those who
Speaker 1: engage with it, learn from it, and use it as
Speaker 1: fuel of future efforts. What makes failure so uncomfortable is
Speaker 1: that it often comes with the sting of ego and
Speaker 1: self doubt and external judgment or what we think will
Speaker 1: be external judgment, condemnation, criticism, and so on. It forces
Speaker 1: us to confront our vulnerability and imperfection in a society
Speaker 1: that quite often only celebrates the polished, victorious outcome, the winner.
Speaker 1: But the truth is that every visible success is built
Speaker 1: on an invisible foundation of countless setbacks, missteps. As I
Speaker 1: often say, fuck ups, failures, and rejections. Thomas Edison famously
Speaker 1: said I've not failed, I've just found ten thousand ways
Speaker 1: that won't work. And this perspective that, of course, was
Speaker 1: when he was inventing the light bulb. This perspective redefines
Speaker 1: failure as part of the creative and problem solving process,
Speaker 1: a means to discover what works by understanding what doesn't
Speaker 1: what doesn't work. Failure can also serve as a clarifying force.
Speaker 1: It strips away false perceptions, superficial goals, and illusions of mastery,
Speaker 1: leaving us with a clearer sense of who we are
Speaker 1: and what really matters for us. When we fail, we're
Speaker 1: compelled to ask hard questions, although some of us don't,
Speaker 1: but It gives us the opportunity to why did this happen?
Speaker 1: What can I learn here? Could I have done differently?
Speaker 1: What did I do well? What did I do not
Speaker 1: so well? What's the data telling me? What are my
Speaker 1: results telling me? These questions, while uncomfortable, can lead to
Speaker 1: self awareness, growth, understanding, insight, awareness, resilience, or qualities that
Speaker 1: are important for not only eventual success, but also, broadly speaking,
Speaker 1: for navigating life's complexities, peaks and troughs, the mayhem, the mess,
Speaker 1: the joy of the pain, all of it. One of
Speaker 1: the most liberating realizations about failure is that it's not personal.
Speaker 1: It doesn't define our worth or potential, although some people
Speaker 1: think it does, even though it often feels like it.
Speaker 1: We're not our failures. Rather, we're defined by how we
Speaker 1: respond to them, or we can be defined by that.
Speaker 1: Some of the world's most transformative leaders, thinkers, creators, it's
Speaker 1: monumental failures before they achieve their breakthrough. Steve Jobs after
Speaker 1: he got the boot from Apple? Did you know that
Speaker 1: he got the boot from Apple? The very company that
Speaker 1: he founded. He went on to innovate and eventually come
Speaker 1: back to Apple and lead them to unprecedented heights. His
Speaker 1: failure became a catalyst for his latest success, refining his
Speaker 1: vision and resilience. In the end, failure is not something
Speaker 1: to be feared or shunned, but rather embraced as part
Speaker 1: of the process of becoming. It's a teacher, it's a guide,
Speaker 1: it's feedback, it's understanding, and sometimes it's a wake up call.
Speaker 1: When we redefine failure as something else rather than a defeat,
Speaker 1: as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, you know, as
Speaker 1: a lesson, not a problem, then we unlock its potential
Speaker 1: to propel us forward, to make a stronger, wiser, more effective,
Speaker 1: more productive, more empowered. The paths of success is not
Speaker 1: a straight line, but a winding road marked by detours
Speaker 1: and setbacks. Each failure along the way is not the
Speaker 1: end of the journey, but a step closer to understanding, mastery,
Speaker 1: and growth. When we learn to see failure through this lens,
Speaker 1: we can approach life with greater courage, knowing that it's
Speaker 1: not the failing that matters, it's the getting back up
Speaker 1: end of reading right. So, I've been fascinated with the
Speaker 1: idea of failure, which is seems like an ironic statement
Speaker 1: coming from someone who teaches people, or tries to teach
Speaker 1: people how to operationalize their talent and maximize their time
Speaker 1: and potential and to in general terms, to be successful.
Speaker 1: But I think that failure is in many ways an idea,
Speaker 1: not a It's a subjective idea or interpretation. It's not
Speaker 1: so much a universal objective fact. And so if you
Speaker 1: think about, for example, let's let's say you and I.
Speaker 1: Let's say we both go for different times, not necessarily
Speaker 1: running together. Now let's say we do run together. So
Speaker 1: and you and I run, Let's say we run ten
Speaker 1: kilometers side by side. So we run ten k's and
Speaker 1: we run in fifty two minutes. And for you, running
Speaker 1: ten kilometers right next to me in fifty two minutes
Speaker 1: is a failure. You're disappointed, You're frustrated. You may be
Speaker 1: even a little bit angry because you wanted to rub
Speaker 1: run a sub fifty minute time because you've done that before,
Speaker 1: and today next to me, you ran fifty two minutes.
Speaker 1: And so your story is I failed, and accordingly you
Speaker 1: feel like you literally feel like a failure. Your feeling
Speaker 1: is real, and as a result, your literal experience is disappointment, sadness, frustration,
Speaker 1: and like I said, maybe you're even a little bit grumpy.
Speaker 1: And all of those feelings, all of those emotions disappoint
Speaker 1: thess sadness, frustration, anger, they're real. They're real. On the
Speaker 1: other hand, conversely, at the same time you and I
Speaker 1: crossed the metaphoric finish line, at the same time, we
Speaker 1: run fifty two minutes, I do the same time as you,
Speaker 1: and I feel fucking amazing because the best I've ever
Speaker 1: run is fifty four minutes. So I've just beaten my
Speaker 1: PB by two minutes. I feel like a rock star.
Speaker 1: It's my best time ever. And while you and I
Speaker 1: had the same outcome in terms of time, we have
Speaker 1: a totally different outcome in terms of experience. So we
Speaker 1: ran the same time, but we had different thinking. We
Speaker 1: ran the same time, but we told ourselves a different story.
Speaker 1: We ran the same time, and we had different self
Speaker 1: created experiences. Your story was I'm a failure. My story
Speaker 1: was I'm a winner. Maybe I should have put this
Speaker 1: the other way around to make you the winner in
Speaker 1: the story, but anyway, you know what I'm saying. And
Speaker 1: as a result, you genuinely feel like a failure, and
Speaker 1: as a result, I genuinely feel like a winner. You
Speaker 1: have the experience of failure. I have the experience of
Speaker 1: minor rock star. And that is because I tell myself
Speaker 1: a story about an outcome that means absolutely nothing until
Speaker 1: I give it meaning. And the meaning I gave it
Speaker 1: is that I am a winner. I beat my PB
Speaker 1: by two minutes. I'm fucking amazing. This is a great
Speaker 1: Your story is the opposite of that. But both of
Speaker 1: our stories are just manufactured constructs that have very real
Speaker 1: consequences and emotional, psychological, and physiological even ramifications. So failure
Speaker 1: is an interesting thing because what is failure. It is
Speaker 1: an idea. It's an idea. It's an idea that we
Speaker 1: have in our head about what are particular stimulus or
Speaker 1: event or outcome means. Let's say you and I are students.
Speaker 1: I'll make you the winner in this case. You and
Speaker 1: I are students, and you get your report card. We're
Speaker 1: doing grade six. I'm doing it for the third time.
Speaker 1: You get your report card and there's eight subjects and
Speaker 1: you get eight bes, you get eight bees, and you
Speaker 1: feel dis pointed because you wanted eight a's or a pluses,
Speaker 1: because you're smart, you got eight bs. I've never even
Speaker 1: been close to a fucking B. You got eight bs,
Speaker 1: and by my standards, that's an amazing outcome, but you
Speaker 1: were I'm also not making you the winner again, am I? Anyway?
Speaker 1: And in this scenario, you get eight bes and you're
Speaker 1: disappointed because you wanted eight d's. I conversely, I passed
Speaker 1: every subject, which I've never done before. I got eight ds. Sure,
Speaker 1: that's way worse than what you got, but for me
Speaker 1: it's fucking winning because I've never passed all of my
Speaker 1: subjects ever. And even though it's a scraping through pass,
Speaker 1: it's just a pass. My average mark was fifty three
Speaker 1: or whatever. In this story, Nonetheless, I feel great, Why
Speaker 1: because I have a different story about the outcome. I
Speaker 1: have a different story about what a D means. You
Speaker 1: have a different story about what a B means. Once again,
Speaker 1: Once again, this is another clear example of when I
Speaker 1: tell my story about something that is meaningless until I
Speaker 1: give it meaning. When I tell myself a story and
Speaker 1: I believe the story, then that story becomes my literal experience.
Speaker 1: I am a failure, I am a winner. And sometimes
Speaker 1: and while I understand all of this, and I'm not
Speaker 1: saying therefore you should do this, therefore, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: what you should or shouldn't do. What I'm trying to
Speaker 1: do is open the door on this kind of level
Speaker 1: of awareness here that well, maybe in the middle of
Speaker 1: maybe in the middle of the failures, you know there,
Speaker 1: Like I said a minute ago when I was reading
Speaker 1: that piece, maybe there are some stories, there are some lessons,
Speaker 1: there's some growth, there's some development, there's some insight, there's
Speaker 1: some understanding. So in a way I didn't get the
Speaker 1: result that I want or expected or hopeful, but nonetheless
Speaker 1: growth came out of it, or growth can come out
Speaker 1: of it. Therefore, maybe maybe it's okay. I don't want
Speaker 1: to bore you with the story about the development of
Speaker 1: this show, but most of you know, before the U Project,
Speaker 1: I did three other podcasts. They didn't work in inverted comments,
Speaker 1: and by it didn't work, I mean commercially. So we
Speaker 1: had an audience. It wasn't huge, but it was okay.
Speaker 1: And one of my goals was for it to become
Speaker 1: at the very least self sustaining financially, so it wasn't
Speaker 1: costing me money. I wasn't going backwards on every episode
Speaker 1: because I was paying for it to be edited and
Speaker 1: so on, and for all three of those. I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about episodes. I'm talking about shows with multiple episodes
Speaker 1: under the banner of each show, maybe two hundred episodes
Speaker 1: over time. They didn't work in inverted commers, and by
Speaker 1: that I just mean it wasn't a commercial success. And
Speaker 1: what's interesting for me is maybe maybe because I'm dumb,
Speaker 1: But in the middle of all of that, I never thought, fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm a failure. I didn't think I'm failing. I was frustrated.
Speaker 1: I was never really angry. I was frustrated, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, I kind of had an awareness that
Speaker 1: I'm figuring out what doesn't work. So for me, it
Speaker 1: was research and development. For me, it was insight and awareness.
Speaker 1: It was trying to understand the art and the science
Speaker 1: and the skill of podcasting. And I kept getting better.
Speaker 1: I went from a one out of ten to a
Speaker 1: four or a three, you know, but I was improving,
Speaker 1: I was learning. I was evolving right even though and then,
Speaker 1: and as you know most of you know, then the
Speaker 1: U projects started six or so years ago, and again
Speaker 1: it was like it was just an uphill battle. And
Speaker 1: if my objective was to make money, and that's winning
Speaker 1: and not making money as losing or failing. Then I
Speaker 1: was losing for the first three shows that I did,
Speaker 1: and then I was losing for that two hundred episodes
Speaker 1: or something, and then I was losing for the first
Speaker 1: six hundred or so episodes of the You Project, which
Speaker 1: in total all of that stuff was probably four years
Speaker 1: and probably collectively about eight hundred episodes. But at no
Speaker 1: time did I feel like a failure, because even though
Speaker 1: I wasn't making money, and even though the show wasn't
Speaker 1: breaking even I still felt like I was producing something good.
Speaker 1: I still felt like I was getting better and so.
Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm not saying, you know that
Speaker 1: another person who went through the same I guess outcome
Speaker 1: or the same result would feel the same as me.
Speaker 1: Some people like the reality is too is that I
Speaker 1: think I can't remember if it's three or seven, but
Speaker 1: it's a very low number. The amount of people who
Speaker 1: start a new show, the amount of actual episodes that
Speaker 1: they do you can google. I think it's below ten.
Speaker 1: It's definitely below ten. It's either three or seven, I think.
Speaker 1: But so many people could build a world class podcast
Speaker 1: if they worked, if they persevered, if they did more
Speaker 1: than three episodes or ten episodes or in my case
Speaker 1: eight hundred and now we're in the sixteen hundreds and
Speaker 1: it's a week the best podcast in the world. No,
Speaker 1: but we going okay? And do I understand podcasting? And
Speaker 1: do I understand the audience? And do I understand distribution
Speaker 1: and production and brand? And do I understand building a
Speaker 1: tribe around? Well? I have a way to go, but
Speaker 1: I know so much more. And now I have a
Speaker 1: thing that is, you know, partner with a really big
Speaker 1: organization in Australia and over entertainment. We have, you know,
Speaker 1: better and worse months financially, but we're never going backwards,
Speaker 1: which is good. Some months it's really lucrads, some months
Speaker 1: not so much. But the bottom line is it's commercially viable.
Speaker 1: But I had to go through all of that learning
Speaker 1: and growing and evolving. I don't ever think to myself, fuck,
Speaker 1: I've failed for four years. I don't think like that now.
Speaker 1: And I think it's important to just be conscious of
Speaker 1: the way that we label our outcomes. Having said that,
Speaker 1: I'm not suggesting that we should pretend that we're going
Speaker 1: great when we're not. I think we also need to
Speaker 1: be practical and realistic and there will be times when
Speaker 1: you know, we do have to pull the pin or
Speaker 1: there will be and obviously you know you will figure out,
Speaker 1: you'll figure out when that is. But I know that
Speaker 1: I know that for many people that I've worked with
Speaker 1: who are now what we would call, I guess in
Speaker 1: their field success stories, I know that for some of
Speaker 1: those people that the success they now enjoy was preceded
Speaker 1: by ten, fifteen, in even twenty years of just fucking
Speaker 1: grinding and slogging and doing the work and showing up
Speaker 1: and then sometimes not so long, of course, but then
Speaker 1: eventually their product or their service, or their music or
Speaker 1: their restaurant or their podcast or their whatever it was
Speaker 1: caught fire and they build something amazing. But it's you know,
Speaker 1: to me, it's analogous to the martial artist who goes
Speaker 1: to the dojo or to the jiu jitsu academy and
Speaker 1: gets his ass handed to him for five years before
Speaker 1: he's got any significant level of competence or skill or
Speaker 1: understanding or proficiency at one of the hardest things that
Speaker 1: you can become, which is a black belt in jiu jitsu,
Speaker 1: for example. So sometimes it's just about showing up. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's about reframing, you know. Sometimes it's about going, Okay,
Speaker 1: I got eight d's. That's pretty good for me. And
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to undersell obviously, this is a story.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to say so set or for a crap,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that. But depending on what's in your
Speaker 1: rearview mirror, for some people passing eight subjects, even if
Speaker 1: they're all these, it's an amazing fucking outcome and they
Speaker 1: should be proud while still being ambitious and perhaps wanting
Speaker 1: to do better and be better moving forward. But right now,
Speaker 1: for that kid, right now that gets that report card
Speaker 1: with eight passes on eight subjects and they've never done that,
Speaker 1: that's a fucking amazing achievement and for them, literally, that
Speaker 1: is a version of success. While for somebody else, dependent
Speaker 1: on their expectations and what's in their rearview mirror, their
Speaker 1: story might understandably be this is a dismal failure either way.
Speaker 1: Either way it is a subjective interpretation of some numbers
Speaker 1: or or an objective outcome. There is here, are these
Speaker 1: things written on this paper. It has what or this
Speaker 1: report card or this email or whatever it is, it
Speaker 1: has the meaning and influence and power in your life,
Speaker 1: particularly that you give it. And I think you know
Speaker 1: that when we reframe this stuff, we don't pretend we're
Speaker 1: going great when we're not. We're not delusional, we don't
Speaker 1: have our head in the sand. We go. I did
Speaker 1: fuck that up. That was no good, you know. And
Speaker 1: there are lots of times where I've fucked up, lots
Speaker 1: of things I've done, speaking gigs that were terrible. You know,
Speaker 1: I've I spent you know what's interesting. When I was
Speaker 1: the morbidly OBEs kid, I went to a school in
Speaker 1: La Trovali called Saint Paul's College, which later became Catholic
Speaker 1: Regional College. Shout outs all the homies from down there.
Speaker 1: And by the way, there was no horrible hardship for me.
Speaker 1: I actually quite enjoyed school, despite being but the fattest
Speaker 1: kid for most of my school or for a lot
Speaker 1: of my early school there. But you know, one of
Speaker 1: my stories or one of my experiences was cross country
Speaker 1: runs every week or a lot of weeks in year seven,
Speaker 1: in year eight, when I was morbid obese and one
Speaker 1: hundred plus kids, and every week I would come last
Speaker 1: or pretty much last, generally last, because I couldn't run
Speaker 1: because I was too heavy. I was too big, I
Speaker 1: had no fitness, and I came. If there was generally
Speaker 1: one hundred and thirty kids, I would come one hundred
Speaker 1: and thirtieth. And whatever the distance was, I think it
Speaker 1: was somewhere around three to five k's. I think it
Speaker 1: was more like five. I would walk and I would walk,
Speaker 1: and I would get back in an hour later, which
Speaker 1: would be forty minutes after the first kids got back,
Speaker 1: and so on. But what was interesting was, while you know,
Speaker 1: I guess I wasn't proud of my result, I didn't
Speaker 1: really I didn't feel like a failure. Maybe I should have,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I didn't fit, so you know,
Speaker 1: there was a bit of embarrassment around my weight and
Speaker 1: all of those things. But you know, I just knew
Speaker 1: that I knew why that was happening. You know, I
Speaker 1: knew why I was walking not running, and I knew
Speaker 1: why I was up the back. And you know, for
Speaker 1: better or worse, I didn't beat myself. I didn't go
Speaker 1: home going fucking hell, I'm a loser, I'm a failure.
Speaker 1: To me, it was just an outcome. It was just
Speaker 1: a result. And I guess, deep down I knew that
Speaker 1: if I ever really wanted to apply myself and get
Speaker 1: fit and lose weight that I could change that, which
Speaker 1: eventually I did. You know so, and I mean think about,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I just thought of this. What about think
Speaker 1: about and I don't I'm not making any judgment here,
Speaker 1: but think about what was her name? What was her name? Reygun? Reagun?
Speaker 1: Is her name Reygun? From the Olympics? You know. So
Speaker 1: there's no aspersions here, there's no judgment here. But objectively,
Speaker 1: I think she got zero points, and I think her
Speaker 1: the person she was competing against, got fifty something points
Speaker 1: or whatever. Let's not get into the the judgment of
Speaker 1: her performance as a as an expression of breakdancing or whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's way better than I would ever be. Right. Nonetheless,
Speaker 1: what I found interesting was like just the forget the feelings,
Speaker 1: the opinions, none of that, no opinion, no feeling, just
Speaker 1: the objective result was I think it was like fifty
Speaker 1: something points to zero. Well as a measurable outcome, she
Speaker 1: got fucking smashed. Nonetheless, I don't think and good on her.
Speaker 1: I don't think she felt like a failure and I
Speaker 1: don't think. I'm not suggesting she should have either. By
Speaker 1: the way, I'm just interested in the psychology around that
Speaker 1: outcome for her and what was And I don't know.
Speaker 1: I haven't spoken to her, and I've only watched as
Speaker 1: much as you've watched, probably maybe less, But I'm just
Speaker 1: fascinated with wow. So this is what we objectively know.
Speaker 1: She went to the Olympics. She didn't get a great result, clearly,
Speaker 1: and there's been international whatever around that. Let's not make
Speaker 1: it any better or worse, right, But just what interests
Speaker 1: me is not whether or not she should have gone
Speaker 1: or not gone, or heard breakdancing skills. That doesn't interest me.
Speaker 1: What interests me is the psychology around her response. Now,
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know, but maybe you know, it's like
Speaker 1: maybe her mindset is I went there, I did my best,
Speaker 1: and I got a particular outcome, and maybe she's fine
Speaker 1: with it. I don't know. Maybe the public persona is
Speaker 1: different to the personal reaction and experience behind closed. But
Speaker 1: you know, whatever the outcome is, whether it's regaun, whether
Speaker 1: it's you know, you and me going on a run,
Speaker 1: whether or not it's a school report, whether or not
Speaker 1: it's you know, many times early days I did speaking
Speaker 1: gigs that if I'm you know, being as objective as
Speaker 1: I can be, which is not very because my view
Speaker 1: and understanding of the world is subjective because it's me,
Speaker 1: especially when it's me assessing me. But as objective as
Speaker 1: I can be. Some of my early days speaking performances,
Speaker 1: corporate speaking or public speaking or paid speaking, I think
Speaker 1: some of them were really a two or a three
Speaker 1: out of ten. Where I really I was somewhere between
Speaker 1: fucking terrible and not very good. But you know, back then,
Speaker 1: I was a white belt. Back then I was figuring
Speaker 1: out how do I be a professional speaker? How do
Speaker 1: I build rapport and connection? How do I talk to
Speaker 1: an audience, How do I understand what it is like
Speaker 1: for an audience to be in front of me? What
Speaker 1: is the mix of preparation and kind of intuition, Like
Speaker 1: do I use slides? Do I use video? How prepared
Speaker 1: should I be? And how in the moment organic storytell
Speaker 1: a funny guy? Should I be or not be? What's
Speaker 1: going to work? It was all of the outcomes that
Speaker 1: I created, ranging from terrible to okay in the early days,
Speaker 1: all of the outcomes that I created, all of the
Speaker 1: experiences that I had in the middle of that, All
Speaker 1: of those for me were literally training. They were going
Speaker 1: to the gym. In inverted commas, they were going to
Speaker 1: the speaking gym and working out and learning and growing
Speaker 1: and developing skill and understanding and strength and resilience and
Speaker 1: insight and situational awareness and social and emotional intelligence. And
Speaker 1: the reason that I became hopefully, I'm not terrible. Now.
Speaker 1: Let's I hope that I'm better than a two or three.
Speaker 1: I don't want to give myself a number, but I
Speaker 1: think I'm not terrible at my job anymore. But the
Speaker 1: reason that I now do a lot of corporate speaking,
Speaker 1: the reason that I get a lot of work in
Speaker 1: that space, is because I spent all of those years learning,
Speaker 1: not failing learning anyway, team there it is failure failure,
Speaker 1: lesson learning growth. You choose